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I got involved with my best friend who is married but has been very unhappy for the last five years. We both fell in love and have been together for eight months. He left the house and filed for divorce. He decided to tell her about our relationship, and she is willing to forgive and work on things. This shook him. They have two kids together. He decided to put the divorce on hold. He left town for a month to get clarity on the situation and see a therapist.

Hi Miami, I feel your sadness; you might have planned a future with your best friend. We live in a world where we are constantly exposed and connected to people who intrigue us and to whom we might feel a connection. I believe that our ability to protect our relationships from the risks involved here has not developed fast enough.&nbsp; Your friend came face to face with what leaving the marriage meant...huge changes and many intense emotions. He is wise to consider his choices carefully; especially if you have children, there is good reason to work at a relationship that is less than fulfilling. Therapy can help. So you fell in love with a man who was in an unstable place. He's taking the steps to create some stability for himself and that leaves you "on hold", not knowing what his decision will be. I love that you seem willing to give him the space he needs to figure it all out. This decision is his.&nbsp; For yourself, you can accept that being "best friends" with a man might not be a wise thing. Many marriages don't fair well when friendships like that exist. You flirted with danger; both of you. You fell in love but he wasn't free, really. I'm sure his love for you is real and powerful, but it's not a competition. It's one man choosing his life path. You can focus on thoughts like this: <ul><li>He has the right to choose his life.</li><li>We flirted with danger by being best friends.</li><li>I know he does love me; this is not a reflection on my worth.</li><li>I can feel really good about giving him patience and the space he needs.</li><li>I feel proud of his honesty.</li><li>I feel proud if he's willing to fight for his marriage; lucky her...lucky kids.</li><li>Acknowledge and allow yourself to feel that sadness, that grief. It's real.</li></ul> If you have told anyone about the affair, seek the support of that trusted person and know you have to grieve this in silence because it was born in silence. I wish you well, and for the record, I'm proud of the maturity you show in this situation. :)

I think I'm annoying and bothersome, but my girlfriend says I'm just fine. I don't think so, I think I'm stressing everyone else out

I'm glad to hear you have friends and that your friends say they like you. Trust your own sense of who you are which tells you that something feels uneasy within yourself. Is the friend who says you're "just fine", very familiar with who you are? "Friend" is a broad category. She may not know you as fully as you know yourself. Basically, it is possible to be "fine" and have some inner stress. Follow your own thoughts and observations to more fully learn about yourself in ways your friend may not notice or be aware.

I have been dating my ex-boyfriend's cousin for a few years. We have gotten pretty serious. He wants to cut it off because people are giving him a hard time that our kids will be related to my ex.

Does your boyfriend agree with the other people's opinions or is the problem that he feels that doing what they want will be an easy way to stop hearing them say what he doesn't like hearing? Talk through whether he actually believes what the others are telling him or figures that complying will make them stop bothering him. Once the two of you understand what, if any, the differences are in the opinions you each have on the double relationship status, you'll be more clear whether the differences can be aligned somehow.

I'm almost never happy. Half of the time, I don't feel anything. I find it easy to make myself feel nothing. I know I push people away because it's easier. I just want answers. I'm sick of feeling this way. It's ruining my relationships with people.

Maybe you have depression. The name of your condition matters much less than the descriptions you wrote of how you feel. Since you've observed how you sometimes interact with people and realize you aren't happy with the result, you've a very solid starting point for reflecting on your deeper wishes in relating to others. Start with asking reasons of yourself about the puzzling aspects of how you're engaging with others. Theorizing as to "why" you feel that pushing people away is "easier", and easier than what? Googling the keywords of how you feel, may open a starting point for ideas on knowing yourself and what you wish for.

She is living with her boyfriend of seven years. He is in therapy for depression and social anxiety. He hasn't worked in all this time.

Congrats on your upcoming grandchild! <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Does your daughter want you to break news of her pregnancy, to the family?</span> Talk with your daughter first, whether or not she would like you to tell other family members. Also, given the other facts you mention in your post, if household and financial management are areas you feel your daughter is vulnerable, then bring up these topics too. Stay open minded about your daughter having views which are different from yours.

When I go to school, I feel like everyone is judging me, even my friends. I get overwhelmed which these thoughts and sometimes cannot get out of what I call a deep hole of thoughts. I barely go to any of our school dances because of all of the people. Not even when I am completely alone do these thoughts go away. I still feel like people can see me and are judging me.

It sounds like a couple of things are going on here; you are noticing yourself feeling judged by the people around you and that you are avoiding social activities and in addition to this you have intrusive thoughts that you are being judged, even when alone. It sounds like these thoughts are pretty distressing and you are wondering what is happening to you. Many people who come to therapy experience intrusive and distressing thoughts of various kinds, which often influence their behavior in ways that they may not like, such as leading them to isolate. In therapy, you may be able to gain insight into the nature of your distress as well as learn ways to cope and eventually alleviate this distress so that you can have satisfaction and security in your life and relationships.

I love him so much, and I don't know what to do.

Hi Savannah, This is a pretty common issue; one person feels that they are doing a great job of being loving, yet their partner doesn't feel loved. There's a great book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. He explains that there are five main ways to give and receive love, but we don't necessarily all speak the same "love language" as our partner. You might feel that by going out to work and earn money, you're being loving, but if your partner's main love language is quality time, you're not hitting that bulls eye because you're not home! The five languages are words, quality time, acts of service, gifts and touch. I recommend couples grab this book, sit down and figure out what their love languages are, and then...slowly...you start to ask for the kind of love you want, and you start to speak your partner's language a bit better. You may never be fluent, but you can get better. The most important part is to understand each other better and to know that there's nothing wrong with either of you, you're just speaking different languages. You can help your boyfriend to get really specific about how he wants to be loved. I bet he just needs you to "speak his language". &nbsp;:)

He owns his own business. Sometimes, he stays out all night but doesn't tell me. We have a son together, and I get to stay home with him. He says I complain too much about what he's doing. We've been together a year and a half. I got pregnant after being together for a month. We moved in together when I had my son in July. Everything was great, and then he started the staying out. He then started not spending time with either of us. I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong. We've talked and he says this is just how he is, but he wasn't like this before.

Hi Oklahoma, Listen to him when he says this is how he is. Your boyfriend's behaviours are about him; not you. At the start of a relationship it's easy to be loving and attentive; but it takes years to really get to know someone deeply. With time, people reveal who they are. For some reason, he is giving himself permission to detach from you and your son. This could be for several reasons; he may be avoiding intimacy and connection, he may be avoiding commitment, he may fear he isn't enough, or (and there is evidence of this one) he may have misogynist attitudes about male privilege that interfere with his ability to be the kind of supportive and respectful partner that you need.&nbsp; It seems that you've addressed this problem with him and told him what you need. Good for you. His response seems dismissive though, and this isn't a good sign. Any problem can be worked through if you have two people who care about, respect and listen to each other. It seems this basic foundation is missing here. I suggest a therapist might be able to help you sort out where to go from here. I wish you the best. :)

I've been going through a rough time lately. I been into nothing but women. I've never thought about men until a week ago. I'm very upset and depressed about this. It's not normal to me. I looked at gay porn more than once to prove that I'm not gay. I get the same results each time, and I feel disgust. This is tough on me. I'm scared that I looked too many times. I keep thinking about it and shake all the time.

Hi Brookfield, It can be unsettling when we feel something as fundamental as our intercourseual orientation shifting. I like that you're honest enough with yourself to say "I'm struggling with this". To accept that there is a question is a brave place to be. And...it doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. Unfortunately, we live in a culture that wants to put people in slots...male or female, straight or gay...we tend to not like those grey areas so much as a culture. The truth is that, if we grew up in a society where there wasn't this categorization...if we felt free to explore and grow intercourseually, we might be surprised at who we are attracted to. You don't have to put yourself in a slot. Our intercourseual preferences are more fluid than we think, and it can change over time. We also live in a culture where there is prejudice against homointercourseuality or "differentness" in general. The wish to not be gay can be powerful. Many people who are gay spend years believing they were heteroxual...fighting against, repressing &nbsp;or ignoring their gay thoughts. This is needless pain. If you are gay, there is no shame in that and you can still have a glorious life filled with love and passion. Having said all that...just because you have thoughts about men or get turned on by gay porm doesn't mean you're gay. Many heterointercourseual people have thoughts and fantasies about the same intercourse; it's arousing because it's naughty...we're curious about the forbidden, or we're just curious. Becoming aroused by gay porn is normal for many heterointercourseual men.&nbsp; intercourseual orientation isn't just about intercourse either. A different gauge of who you are intercourseually can be found in your emotions towards men or women. Are you drawn into emotional connections with men more than women? Who do you feel the urge to explore and be close to? Exploring your intercourseuality through being open to different experiences can help too. How does it feel to kiss a man, to touch a man, as compared with a woman...sometimes this feels like such a big and forbidden step that it's a barrier to discovering ourselves. We don't want to open that door.&nbsp; I wish you well as you do exactly what you are supposed to be doing...exploring and discovering yourself. It's an exciting journey and you might want to find a trusted person to talk more about this with.&nbsp;

He owns his own business. Sometimes, he stays out all night but doesn't tell me. We have a son together, and I get to stay home with him. He says I complain too much about what he's doing. We've been together a year and a half. I got pregnant after being together for a month. We moved in together when I had my son in July. Everything was great, and then he started the staying out. He then started not spending time with either of us. I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong. We've talked and he says this is just how he is, but he wasn't like this before.

Congrats on the birth of your son! Your situation sounds painful, lonely, and isolating. And, these features are eating away at your self-confidence. Start by believing in yourself. &nbsp; The feelings and ideas you describe here would only be arising from within you because they are at the very least, partly true. Ask your boyfriend if he is willing to listen and understand your point of view. &nbsp;If he does, then hopefully the two of you will more easily talk with one another about the truth of feeling overwhelmed by the quick pace of your courtship and becoming a family. If these discussions continuously include him blaming you for having your own feelings and expecting him to more actively be a part of your and your son's life, then you'll need to start valuing your feelings and what is best for you and your son, by yourself. I send you lots of good luck!

I've been going through a rough time lately. I been into nothing but women. I've never thought about men until a week ago. I'm very upset and depressed about this. It's not normal to me. I looked at gay porn more than once to prove that I'm not gay. I get the same results each time, and I feel disgust. This is tough on me. I'm scared that I looked too many times. I keep thinking about it and shake all the time.

Are you able to give yourself some peace of mind while you take the time to further address whether or not you are gay? Whether or not and to what degree a person accepts their intercourseuality, depends on dense factors such as the culture of your family, the beliefs about gay people with which you were brought up, and your own tolerance for being a unique individual. Examining these factors, whether inwardly by yourself, in online blogs and sites, or live with other people, requires patience and effort. The more you are willing to commit to figuring out your own truth, the greater is your chance of finding it!

I don't know how to notice or express my feelings besides anger. That's really the only one i feel.

Well, then give yourself some credit for noticing that you recognize at least one feeling that you have! What is your own theory as to what is difficult to know your feelings? &nbsp;Your answer will give you clues as to unearthing your willingness to be aware of the way you feel. Sometimes the family in which someone grew up, did all they could to stop the kids from knowing who they were. In some families there were very severe consequences if a child spoke up with an independent mind. &nbsp;By knowing where your difficulties started, you may very well be able to release the situation in which you learned to suppress your feelings. Also, spend some time with yourself just enjoying who you are. &nbsp; Often, people who have difficulty in expressing themselves, suffered shame and humiliation as a child. &nbsp;They have a chronic sense of worthlessness, and feeling worthless certainly works against self-expression. &nbsp;By having a good time being with yourself, you may increase your self-appreciation and this will go a long way to believing that your feelings are worth knowing and stating.

I'm a little paranoid. My mind does get the best of me. One night, I put chairs under all of my door knobs because I thought someone might break in. I also think a lot, which is probably the reason for the paranoia. I can't stand loud noises, like the sound of cars going by. The grocery store is too noisy, and I feel like people are looking at me.

Paranoid people don't realize they are paranoid. &nbsp;They believe their actions to be reasonable responses to potential threats. From what you write, you are aware that your actions may be understood as extreme. Instead of trying to fit your behavior into a negative psychological category, try seeing each of the behaviors you list here, as your own uniqueness. This way you will become more tolerant of what very well be your natural tendencies. If you are someone who needs a lot of time in quiet, then not liking loud noises doesn't make you paranoid, it is simply the way of who you are. One possible way of feeling better is if you would accept the answers you've developed so far for yourself. &nbsp;They may be a little unusual compared to what we consider mainstream. &nbsp; From what you describe, you already are dealing with what you call "paranoia".

I love him so much, and I don't know what to do.

Does he tell you a reason as to why he feels you don't love him? Ask him this so you will clearly know his definition of "love".

My life is completely normal, yet I feel empty inside. I feel as if I already know why I'm alive: to reproduce and die.

Are there any times or moments in which you feel other than "empty"? &nbsp;Start with knowing the context of when you feel something other than empty. If there is no recent example, then in your mind, go back in time to think of when you felt something other than empty. &nbsp;Recall what you liked about this time, whether you were by yourself or with others, what type of activity you were involved at the time of non-emptiness. How did you come to your conclusion that your life purpose is to reproduce and die? &nbsp; If this is what your parents, siblings and extended family believe, it is possible that you have a broader view of yourself and haven't yet uncovered a way of defining your own philosophy of living. Give yourself the time to browse around online, or in person social meet ups, on your interests. &nbsp;It is possible you will discover entire new areas of life and ways of considering life, that are brand new to you and which connect to your true self. This is one way of respecting your individuality, which of itself, may decrease your sense of emptiness.

He is verbally abusive. When he gets mad, he just yells at me. At times, I feel scared.

Good for you on recognizing your own feelings. &nbsp; Often in an abusive relationship, the person who is being abused, starts doubting themselves and starts tolerating, then accepting abuse. Marriage is based in love and feeling taken care of by the partner. &nbsp;Feeling scared is the opposite of this. If you feel ready, tell him the way you feel and pay attention to how willing your husband is to being aware that he yells and that you feel scared. If he has no idea of what you're talking about, doesn't want to understand what you feel, then slowly take steps to understand within yourself whether or not tolerating your husband's behavior is acceptable to live with on an everyday basis.

I think I'm annoying and bothersome, but my girlfriend says I'm just fine. I don't think so, I think I'm stressing everyone else out

"Where you put your attention is where you will go". I forget who said this first, but it's very powerful. If all you think about and talk about is how annoying you think you might be, that will get annoying. Your intense self reflection is lovely; it will help you monitor yourself so that you're not affecting others negatively, but your alarm is going off too easily here and you risk having the opposite effect. You don't have to be perfect. She's with you, so she probably likes you as you are. She seems to put far less emphasis on your possibly annoying traits. We all have faults and if that's what we focus on, that's all we will see. My hunch is that your most annoying trait might be your negative self-talk. How ironic is that? There's another irony here...your goal is to be a better partner...but when you are self-critical, your focus is on <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span>, not her. Every moment that fear grabs ahold of you is a moment that you're not being present in the actual relationship; you're gazing at your imagined faults. Fear steals your ability to focus on your loving partner.&nbsp; Maybe take a moment to image how she sees you...all of you. Put yourself in her shoes to see the entire you...how are you loving...thoughtful...a good partner? Confidence is a very attractive quality!&nbsp;

My fiancé and I have almost the best relationship every girl wants, but lately it's changed. I get less attention and little to no intercourse. He works a lot and goes to the gym a lot (he's a football player for an indoor league), but he has no time for me. We live two hours from family, and when I leave home to see family, he'll text me saying "whatever" and "leave me alone." But when we're together, everything is okay. No fighting or anything. I love this man, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hello, It doesn't feel good when it seems that your partner no longer cares or cares less for you, especially if your feelings have not changed. It can be scary, frustrating, and lonely. Have you tried talking to him about your concerns? I would suggest to start there. There may be several reasons for his actions, some of which may have nothing to do with how he feels for you.&nbsp;Learning about what is going on for him will likely answer your questions and, depending on his response, may&nbsp;cause some relief. When&nbsp;initiating conversations about subjects that are sensitive, there are a few things that you want to remember.&nbsp;Tell him how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, rather than blaming him or telling him what he is doing wrong. Avoid&nbsp;using extreme, black and white language (i.e. always and never).&nbsp;For example, you may say something such as, "I feel confused that we are rarely intimate and I'm wondering if you've also noticed this change" versus "You are never intimate with me anymore."&nbsp;Don't be afraid to ask him questions. You deserve to know what is going on, as his behavior is effecting your well being. I like to ask open-ended questions instead of yes and no questions. It allows for&nbsp;more clarity and deeper&nbsp;explanation. Lastly,&nbsp;ask yourself (and possibly him) what part you play in the recent changes. Does he feel that you've been distant? Does he need something from you? Let him know that you are willing to work things out as a team. If communication attempts fail, seeing a couple's therapist can be a great benefit. Having an objective party to coach you through this difficut time can give you the support that will create lasting changes in your relationship. Best of luck to you!&nbsp;

I have been dating a guy for two years. I think I love him, but I don't know any more. I am in my late teens, and I have been living with him for most of our relationship. I have been talking to a guy friend, and I feel more loved by him than my boyfriend.

Hi Michigan, Relationships are so sparkly for a few years, and then things start to feel different. Most of the time, this is simply because we've pulled back from all the attachment-forming behaviours we did at the beginning. We stop talking a lot, because we have less to discover...we do less for each other and buy fewer gifts...spend less time together...all because we have already formed the love and attachment and we don't need to "fill the gas tank" as much. So, just because it feels different doesn't mean it's "gone bad". Having said that, it seems as though you are missing something in this relationship that you need; you don't feel loved enough right now. Can you tell him? Have you told him? The strength of your relationship is more clear when people know what the expectations are. Let him know what you need, and see if he gets it.&nbsp; You have choices to make and there is no wrong choice. You certainly have the right to say "this isn't feeling great anymore", or "I want to explore other relationships", and walk away. But often it's worth it to see how good something can be before you bail.&nbsp; You're drawn to someone else, and this is up to you to decide how this fits with your expectations of yourself in a relationship. Your interest in this other guy is sparkly and new. Your boyfriend can't compete with that if he doesn't know you're unhappy.&nbsp; For some people, being drawn to someone else is a sign they're not into their partner. For others, it's a danger alert, and it makes them want to improve their current relationship. Which one are you?

Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me.

A lot of times it is not about forgiveness but learning from experiences. As an example, as a child we continously fall in an effort to learn how to walk. Then when we begin walking we know we have to put one foot in front of the other in order to move forward. Experiences allow us to grow, find a balance and what to do and what not to do in order to move forward. On the positive side you now know the consequences as for your actions not to take the same course. Forgiveness comes with time as you "learn how to walk again."

People have been calling me names, and I have had enough of it. I cannot stand it anymore I'm done. I have told someone this, and that is why I am writing this. The thoughts are awful.

It's sounds like you are feeling pretty overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts and are feeling very criticized by others as well. I think it is great that you are reaching out and I can tell that you want this to change. Working with a competent therapist may be a good option for getting some more clarity about what is going on, developing ways to cope, and eventually getting relief from these overwhelming experiences.

We live with my ex-partner's sister and her husband. We have been there for five years now. They are Hispanic and talk to my daughter in their language. Sometimes they overstep their balance between aunt and uncle and reach into my role as a parent. They neglect to see this. I do, and it reflects in my child's behavior. She sees them as stable but is upset that her dad isn't here, and my intuition tells me she blames me to a degree because she doesn't know about his alcohol addictions.

Hi New York, I'm happy to hear that your daughter doesn't know about her dad's addictions. A<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">lthough you don't say how old she is,</span>&nbsp;and I imagine that at some point in her life she will be ready to know the truth, I trust your instinct that now is not the time. Your ability to have clear boundaries about what is adult conversation and what is suitable for a child to know are really important here, and I can tell you're being appropriately protective and a thoughtful parent. As much as this helps your daughter, I sense that you also know you can't take away the emotional pain that comes from having an absent parent. Children tend to blame themselves for a parent's absence. These children need extra love and support wherever they can get it. You say that you feel like there is a wedge between you and your daughter. I understand that having your ex partner's relatives in the same home would make it uncomfortable at times. It is very important to establish boundaries; only you should parent your daughter, but it's also natural for people to want to assist you. Let's trust that their intentions are good, if there is no evidence to the contrary. As much as they support you, they also &nbsp;have emotional ties to your daughter's father.&nbsp; While there is potential for discomfort in this complex situation, there are also many positive factors here that I invite you to see. I don't know what your culture is, but for your daughter to have the opportunity to preserve her father's heritage language and a relationship with his family are potentially wonderful additions to her life. In general, the more adults around loving and supporting a child, the better.&nbsp; It could be that you are feeling threatened by small moments where there appears to be a special connection between your daughter and her father's family. Nothing anyone else does can take your daughter's love from you. My hope for you is that you can feel so secure in your own position as loving mother that you will not feel intimidated by other positive connections your daughter has. They are potentially wonderful connections, and she deserves your support in maintaining those relationships if they don't harm her. I suggest that the most important alliances to work on here are between you and your ex's family. If you could all give your daughter the gift of a healthy, united supportive and loving safety net for her...that's the best outcome of all.&nbsp;

I was in a situation with a guy. He's my brother's friend and kind of like a brother to me. He invited me over to hang out, and then came on to me. I was instantly terrified to say no, and I gave in. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't figure out why I'm afraid to say no. This is giving me a lot of guilt and depression.

Hi Tennessee, There is nothing wrong with you. There are many good reasons why you didn't say no. You didn't say no because you were caught off guard and unprepared; there is no place in life that teaches girls or boys how to manage it when someone crashes a intercourseual boundary. You also live in a culture where girls are encouraged to be cooperative and not upset people, and to put the needs of other people first. You instinctively want people to like you, and people can be very coercive intercourseually. You said it yourself; you "gave in". He wore you down. There's nothing wrong with you. It wasn't your job to say no. Women aren't the gatekeepers of male intercourseual urges. It was his job to get your consent first. He pressured you into it.&nbsp; A good therapist would help you to dig deep and uncover all these barriers to saying no and more. If you said no, what might happen then? What might that mean about you? What are you avoiding feeling? Unloved, unwanted, cold? What would you have to believe in order to be confident enough to say no? That you didn't have to do anything you don't want to do? That you're special, or that intercourseuality is special? Would you need a better understanding of what intercourseual assault is?&nbsp; <span style="line-height: 1.42857;">I love that you want to do some work here to strengthen your intercourseual boundaries, and I urge a widespread conversation about what consent it. Men and women of all ages could use more of this training.&nbsp;</span>

Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven. When I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety. Am I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal.

Hi California, What you're experiencing is indeed anxiety; it's very common. Through research we know a lot of things about how to reduce anxiety. I'll get you started and it's a great idea to connect with a therapist who can build on these ideas and get to know you well. It's natural to have random thoughts that unsettle us. Our brains are complex, wonderful things. Fearful and anxious thoughts are a part of this picture; their purpose is to prepare us for the future and to help us make sense of the past and learn from it. But what happens sometimes is that our alarm systems get out of whack and get set off too easily. We often spend TOO MUCH time worrying about things that happened or might happen. When these thoughts take away from our enjoyment of life, it becomes a problem. So, while fear and anxiety try to protect us, they also seek power and will take any power they can get. In general, fear and anxiety try to tell us one or both of two things: that something is wrong with us, or that something bad will happen (or that something bad will happen because there's something wrong with us). They will use anything they can as evidence to convince you. For example... "That person looked at you funny. You're strange looking". Well there are dozens of possible explanations for the look on that person's face, and it's unlikely it had anything to do with you.&nbsp; For you personally, your thoughts are about the afterlife...about living forever. What does fear tell you will be uncomfortable about living forever? What would the worst part be? A therapist would help you dig deep to find the core of what you fear. It might be that you have no <span style="font-style: italic;">control </span>over who you are or where you go. It might be that you fear going to hell because you're "<span style="font-style: italic;">bad</span>". Search for that deepest fear. I invite you then to picture that thought as a glass of water on a shelf. It's a heavy glass, and if you held it in your hands for a while and stared at it, it would get in the way; you'd be uncomfortable and unable to focus on your life. That's what's happening now. I suggest that the problem is not so much the thought you're having; we all have random silly thoughts that usually aren't true. The problem is how long you're holding it in your hand. You could have that thought (pick up that glass) a hundred times a day and, as long as you put it right back on the shelf, it's not a problem. The trick is to get it back on that shelf. Right now, you're using distraction to do this. You're trying to focus on other things around you, but I think the glass is still in your hand. It's not enough; you're looking for more tools to get that glass back on the shelf. &nbsp;And the key is in your thoughts. Once you find out what fear is trying to tell you, then you can "talk back to" fear. So, as an example, if fear is saying to you "you have no control over anything", then you can work to accept the pieces you don't have control over, learn to tolerate that feeling, and claim back the pieces you CAN control. You CAN control the extent to which you let fear take you over.&nbsp; With a therapist you can learn to "refute" fears' ideas. You can learn to look for concrete evidence of fear's lies and gain back control over your thoughts. I wish you the best!

I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

In dealing with an eating disorder you are far from alone. &nbsp;It is more common than you might think and tied to so many variables that it is easy for an individual to become overwhelmed in trying to navigate the influences of such variables. &nbsp;I have been working with individuals dealing with such challenges since 1998 and have found over the years that behavioral analysis is highly effective in helping you begin to isolate, understand and then be able to address many of these variable impacting your behavioral and cognitive choices. &nbsp; Consider finding someone trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT). &nbsp;There is a large body of evidence supporting the use of this approach to alleviating many of the aspects you identified in your post as well of a wide variety of tools that you can choose from and utilize that are able to practiced and assimilated into your daily tool box of coping mechanisms that end up becoming new behaviors and ways of thinking about issues that become automatic, the best possible outcome you can hope for if you want the solution to be sustainable. &nbsp;&nbsp;

We are the legal guardianship of our grandson. He has been acting out, and he wants to talk to his mom that has not talked to him since before last year. How are we to handle this?

Hi Boone, This depends a lot on his age and the situation. The younger the child is, in general, the more I would see this as your decision, not his. A child of any age should be listened to carefully about these matters, but just because a child has unresolved issues about a parent doesn't necessarily mean that having contact is a good solution.&nbsp; Some questions... Was the parent harmful to the child? Is the parent likely to be harmful to the child? How likely is it to be a positive experience? Do you have any contact with the parent? You may want to speak with the parent first to determine whether they are in a stable enough place to allow this to happen. &nbsp; I would start by asking the child more about what is on his mind. What does he want to get out of a visit with the parent? Is it to see them and know the parent is okay, to get an apology, to apologize for a perceived hurt, to have regular contact, to find out if they are loved...? What does he hope mom or dad might do or say in the visit? There are many possible goals this child might have in mind. This will give you a sense of what's missing for the child; what need are they trying to fill. Once you know the need, try to determine the likelihood of that need being met successfully through contact. Once you determine the risk of the child's need not being met, then you decide whether it makes sense. &nbsp;The older the child, the more able they are to determine this with you or for themselves.&nbsp; There are other options than a face-to-face. He can write to his mom or dad, text or email.&nbsp; It's likely that the child is looking for a sense that he is loved, wanted, worth some effort. When a child is separated from a parent, they tend to blame themselves. Whether he sees the parent or not, he will need extra love, attention and support than a child who has two loving, present parents. I wish him the best and I'm grateful for the love and support you continue to give your grandson. You're very special!

We had our first kid 15 years ago, and intercourse has been nonexistent ever since. It only happens every three or four months. We have been to counseling, and I have been told over and over again she will come around. She hasn't, and I'm intimately lonely! I think it's time to move on, but how do I do that without hurting my kids?

Hi Pocahontas, This is a painful situation. When you're in a relationship, you assume that you will continue to receive warmth and affection. When it dries up, it's a very lonely place. It's possible that there is an unaddressed issue in the relationship. It's also possible that your partner has hormonal issues, pain issues, &nbsp;intercourseual dysfunction or is aintercourseual.&nbsp; There is no one answer here. Only you can decide what is right for you. But let me ask some questions to help you explore next steps: Aside from the intercourse, is your wife loving and supportive? What are the other ways in which you feel loved? Does your wife talk to you? Does she communicate her needs and desires? Does she articulate what gets in the way of having intercourse? If your wife is generally a loving, open partner, you use this to see that her behaviours aren't personal. Whether she resolves this or not, it can help you to cope with the rejection. This is your wife's issue, and the "ball" is in her court. In my opinion, if couple's therapy hasn't helped, it's time for your wife to own whatever is blocking her and address it with her physician and therapist. Let her be in charge of the intercourse for a while, to take the pressure off, and she can have the time to figure out what gets in the way of having regular intercourseual intimacy in your relationship. If you think of this as "my wife is in crisis and needs support in figuring this out", it can help you manage your own emotions.&nbsp; Pressure to have intercourse might push her further away. Did the couple therapist help you to see the dynamic in your relationship? Has your partner identified something she feels she is lacking in the relationship? One good way to make sure you "get" is to "give" (and I mean give what she wants, not intercourse).&nbsp; It's appropriate to say to her now "I cannot live in a relationship with so little intimacy. I need for you to be honest with me about what you want for us intercourseually. If this is all you want, I'm not sure I can do it. If you want us to be more intercourseual, I need you to address what gets in the way for you." &nbsp;Give her some time, help her in any way you can, and then see where you are. See if she does seek help to address an issue that is hers.&nbsp; Then...you have a decision to make. I encourage you to make it looking at the big picture, not just the intercourse.&nbsp;

I have been experiencing a lot of intercourseual tension with a lot of the guys that I talk to nowadays. I keep imagining having intercourse with them. I have never had intercourse before, nor have I had a boyfriend. I feel lonely and empty. I feel like my body is not okay, and I am missing something. I talk to so many boys in school, and I always fantasize about half of them. I want this feeling to stop because it is interfering with my time to study since most of the time, I am busy thinking about intercourse.

Hi Montreal, I'm glad you wrote. What you're experiencing is normal. We're intercourseual beings. We have a built-in desire to connect intercourseually with others, because it feels good, to keep procreation going, and mostly to "connect" with other people, because connecting with others makes us feel fulfilled and valuable. intercourseual desire is a healthy part of you. Maybe your body is telling you it wants to dive into that water and taste it instead of just staring at it? It sounds like you're beginning to explore yourself intercourseually, and that's okay. At your young age, you also have another innate burning desire, and that is to <span style="font-style: italic;">know yourself</span>. I see both of these desires burning and competing in you. It's a bit of a crazy time...you want to connect with others but you're not sure who you are or what you want from them. You want to know yourself but you can't learn about yourself in a vacuum.&nbsp; It's okay to trust your instincts. It's okay to connect intercourseually with others, as long as you're preventing disease and pregnancy and you know how to protect your boundaries. But even as I write this, I think maybe I'm being controlling and overprotective of you; it's your body and you're in charge of what happens to it! (But I do want you to be safe...whatever that means to you). Maybe talk to someone you trust.&nbsp; With each encounter you have with other people (intercourseual or not), you will learn more about yourself and what you want, both intercourseually and just in relationship or friendship. You will develop a sense of who you are. Have you tried to get to know yourself intercourseually? This is a super place to start, and knowing how your own body works can give you confidence when you eventually connect with others. When you explore your own body, what feels good? What brings you to orgasm?&nbsp; I wish you well as you explore both who you are and how it feels to connect with others safely. :)

I self-harm, and I stop for awhile. Then when I see something sad or depressing, I automatically want to self-harm.

In a way, self-harm can present somewhat like an addiction. &nbsp;According to new research within the field of neuroscience there is a valid explanation for this. &nbsp;When a person cuts or uses other forms of self harm, the body produces endorphins to help make a person feel better. &nbsp;If a person was dealing with depression or high anxiety, that might be misinterpreted by the brain as a way to help oneself feel better and a new neural network or map might form (addiction) that would utilize this new behavior. &nbsp;Another way to look at it would be thru a behavioral lens, a positive reward for a behavior, even though the behavior has other long term negative consequences. &nbsp; Consider working with someone who can both have you work on and address those items that trigger your behavior and the root causes, in this case sadness or depression, and second find someone who can help give you alternatives that take into account the neurological requirement by replacing the behavior with another behavior (such as snapping a rubber band on the wrist) and working to extinguish the unwanted behavior. &nbsp; Someone who is trained in Dialectic Behavior Therapy and/or Interpersonal Neurobiology would most likely have the skills and means available to address this with you.&nbsp;

I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I've been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I'm paranoid about driving on main roads. I'm very jumpy at the slightest noises.

Given the description you have posted here, it may be time to find someone to work with. &nbsp;First and foremost, look into working with someone who specializes in working with individuals with challenges surrounding drinking. This would need to be assessed first since if it has been ongoing, it may be making the situation worse and given the time it has been utilized as a coping mechanism, there is reason to believe that the structure of your brain may have been effected as has been demonstrated by current neurological research. &nbsp;<span style="line-height: 1.42857;">There are however, ways to address this. &nbsp;</span> <span style="line-height: 1.42857;">As for coping mechanisms, the person you work with should also look at offering you alternatives such as the skills found within the Dialectic Behavior Therapy model (DBT) which has several useful tools to help address the underlying anxiety and difficulty managing emotional regulation. &nbsp;Mindfulness, another component of DBT should also prove to be useful in both becoming aware of your state of mind and emotional state to allow you to make different choices which has been supported by a growing body of evidence. &nbsp;There are also other tools designed to help repair damaged relationships. &nbsp;Well worth looking into.</span> Seeking help is never easy and it is only human to be hesitant given some of the cultural views of working with therapist. &nbsp;This is a difficult place to be in and one that is not easy to move out of, but sitting on it is not going to help it go away. &nbsp;Think of it this way, if you broke your arm, would you just wrap it up and hope for the best? or seek out a professional to help you set the break and teach you how to mend the wound. &nbsp;The same applies here. &nbsp;Think of it as first aid for the mind.&nbsp;

I avoid talking to him because he always makes me more upset. I can't be honest with him about anything because he is always rude to me.

Hi Troy, I totally get this. It's a dilemma; you want your dad to know how he's hurting you but you don't feel safe enough to say anything to him. Your reaction is understandable; it's his responsibility as a parent to work harder than you to create that safe place for you to be open. But that's not who your dad is. Your dad is your dad, and waiting for him to change won't really help. Nothing you do can change your dad, but...there are things you can do for yourself and your relationship with him.&nbsp; While your response of avoiding him is understandable, I wonder what effect it has on your dad. It's possible that he's feeling frustrated, rejected and punished by your withdrawal. You may think he knows that you're feeling hurt, but he probably doesn't. So this is the squirrel chasing its tail: your dad is rude, so your habit is to be silent, then he maybe feels abandoned and frustrated. His frustration comes out as more rudeness, which makes you want to withdraw more, and the cycle starts all over again. You can't change his part of the cycle but you can change yours. Are you willing to take a risk? Can you be honest about how you're feeling? What's the worst thing that could happen if you said to your dad "You know why I avoid you? I stay silent because when I talk to you say rude things. So if you want me to talk, I need to know you can listen." I imagine it would come out differently because you're a few generations younger than me, but put that into your own words. I don't know the level of your dad's 'rudeness'. If he is abusive, then a better plan is to see a therapist alone or talk to someone about this. I don't want to put you at any risk. But if you don't worry your dad will hurt you, maybe give honesty a try. My point is that, as rude as your dad may be, checking out of a relationship by being silent is also rude. It's powerful...your silence. Your dad can't read your mind, and if you want things to be better you will need to get in that ring with him. And, if you're both open to it, seeing a therapist together can be really helpful. :)

As a child, my parents injured my brother, so they went to prison. I was there when he had gotten hurt, but I can't seem to remember. I also can't remember being with them quite well. It's a blur.

It's important to know that there are counselors who are trained in working with survivors of trauma and you can get help. &nbsp;The "blur" in your memories is your brain's attempt to protect you from the experiences in your past. &nbsp;To recover them can be a slow process done by a trained professional that you trust. &nbsp;When you are ready and feel safe, those memories can be recovered and can be integrated with other memories. &nbsp;This will help to lessen the potency of the memory, help to make sense of what has happened, and allow you to begin the healing process. &nbsp;Check into therapist who are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). &nbsp;

I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal.

As far as the formal diagnosis of depression goes, it would be hard to determine without more information. It sounds like you are noticing that there is a significant difference between how you are feeling on the inside and how you express yourself outwardly. Part of you is quite distressed and yet it remains invisible to the outside world, almost as if it is trapped inside of your body. Many people who are depressed experience such things as intrusive thoughts, emotional numbness, difficulty expressing themselves, and bodily tension (caged animal?). In working with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what you are going through, the nature of the disconnect between you inner feelings and outer expression, and eventually gain relief from the distress as well as a greater sense of connection with yourself and personal freedom.

As a child, my parents injured my brother, so they went to prison. I was there when he had gotten hurt, but I can't seem to remember. I also can't remember being with them quite well. It's a blur.

Sorry to hear of having witnessed violence within your family when you were very young. Your blocked memories are a self-protection from the enormous emotional pain and feeling de-stabilized by realizing that the people whom you expected to trust, are harmful. Already you are at the first step, which is to know that memories exist about the disturbing events concerning your brother. Probably the best way of finding your way back to those times, is by paying attention to all of who you are today. The more intently and with loving interest you are able to notice yourself, you will be gradually dissolving the layers of protective thoughts about intimacy being unsafe. Basically, you will be teaching yourself how to slowly trust yourself. Since trust is what was violated while you were young, you will be developing a new model for trusting yourself and others. Then, more of the memories of your painful and overwhelming times will make themselves available to you. They are simply waiting for you to be strong and trusting enough within yourself, to tolerate them!

I have not had a friend since I was 19. I don't go anywhere, and I have no job, all because I'm afraid of people.

Individual and/or group therapy can be a powerful antidote for social anxiety. Often in therapy, the things that tend to get in the way of our securing satisfying and lasting personal relationships will appear in some way in the therapy relationship and a competent therapist will be able to help you work through this anxiety, in a sensitive way, and eventually encourage you to seek out the personal relationships that you want. In group therapy, you have an opportunity to have a relationship not only with the therapist, but several other people who are all in the group in order to give and receive mutual support to one another.

I feel insecure in my life. I don't think my wife truly wants our relationship even though she says she does. I have turned to drinking to help relieve my repressed stress about this and other issues. I have had a drinking problem for a few years. I feel the reason I drink is not just because I like to, but because I have lately been on edge. I've been very oddly emotional when watching movies that I have been watching for years. I'm paranoid about driving on main roads. I'm very jumpy at the slightest noises.

Sorry hearing about the big amount of stress which you are feeling at this time. Since a lot of your stress is directed to uncertainty of whether your wife is happy being with you, would you consider continuing the conversation with her about your understanding of her answer to you? Your observation that she says one thing and behaves in a different way, is meaningful. Bringing your point to her attention would at the very least demonstrate her interest in showing and explaining her viewpoint about you. Basically, you'd be expecting her to care about you and how she handles herself with this question, may clarify what you're trying to find out. The good news about your relationship with alcohol, is that you realize you're overdoing it. From what you write, the emotional pain and helplessness you feel currently, seem too much to know about all at once. One possibility is to accept your feelings of hurt and insecurity. &nbsp;This is the first step of working with them. &nbsp; If they start feeling overwhelming, then maybe too, you can distract yourself for a while from the intensity by engaging in an activity that is not self-harming. After all, you are the most important person in your life, so keep yourself safe and healthy!

My issue isn't resisting angry urges; it's the anger itself. My rage is extreme and vastly disproportionate to the direct stressor. It causes violent thoughts, but I never act. I stay lucid enough to know the rage is violent, not me. I don't want to drown myself in anger and resentment.

Knowing how you feel and also being able to stabilize yourself to act upon the tremendous anger you feel, are fine qualities. Anger, whatever the magnitude, generally reflects emotional pain that has not yet been placed into words. Try thinking over your growing up years because maybe you will discover certain repeated dynamics which upset you and that no one helped you feel secure through such times. Also, if either of your parents drank too much and raged when they were drunk, you may be repeating their patterns of how to respond to situations. &nbsp;&nbsp; Even without drinking, the response patterns of yelling and throwing things are frightening enough to leave a permanent memory. If this describes part of your childhood, then it is possible you are becoming angry because it was the only emotion that either of your parents was able to express.

I always see the worst end of things. My boyfriend and I aren't talking, and I swear he's leaving me. I keep failing my road test, and I see my future crumble. I have no desire for friends. I pushed my best friend away after Christmas, and I have no desire to fix it or make new friends. My aunt died, and I cry all the time, even if I burn my lunch.

I really love that you're taking responsibility for your pessimism here. There's a modern parable about two young brothers. One child is in a room full of every toy you could imagine, and he's miserable; the other is in a room full of horse manure, and he's flinging it around with joy. So then someone comes and asks the first boy why he's so miserable, because he has so much. He says that he's missing the one toy that he really wants. Then the brother is asked why he's so happy in a room full of manure, and he says "With all this sh-t, there's gotta be a pony in here somewhere!" Happiness is a state of mind, and I hear you saying that you used to be happy, so maybe this means you believe it's possible. That's a wonderful start. Research on depression shows us that it is very linked to pessimism. You say "I always see the worst end of things". That's pessimism. Life is like an elephant. If all you see is roughness, backup and walk around; the view will change.&nbsp; The key to optimism is to build your ability to see the bad things in life as 1. temporary (this will pass. I know how to fix friendships), 2. Specific (not involving the whole of your life), and 3. not your fault (tons of people fail road tests). On the flip side, it helps if we can see good things as 1. more permanent, 2. bleeding into other areas of our lives, and 3. something YOU created. Not taking credit for good things and blaming yourself for the bad ones is typical especially of women.&nbsp; The feelings you are having are temporary; you're in a slump and it's a good time to sit down and look at how you can make the picture look different. I think you know how; but you lack energy right now. If tackling this on your own isn't enough, a therapist can help you take that step back to look at the big picture and help you rebuild your natural resilience and capacity for joy. I wish you the best.

I was in a relationship with him for three years. My mom doesn't like it because she thinks I'm making a mistake. He got married a few months after we broke up, and now he is divorced. I forgave him for what he did in the past, and he says he's sorry and he really loves me. I love him too, but is it bad that I'm giving him a second chance again?

Hey, it might be mistake in the end but this is a risk you want to take and you get to make your own mistakes. Your mom wants to protect you; I get that. Maybe she is worried you'll be hurt again. Were you hurt in some way by him? Can you understand where she's coming from?&nbsp; Sometimes when we're mad at our partner and we complain about them to mom, it's hard to know how to repair mom's relationship with the partner when things are better and we reunite. Can you help your mom understand that you take responsibility for your part in how it went wrong; that the picture you may have painted of him isn't the total picture? She might need help there.&nbsp; Thank your mom for her love and care, and you can also let her know clearly that you and your boyfriend are the only ones who get to decide whether you're together or not, that it's a risk you are going to take, and that you really need her support. :)

I was anxious to go to middle school. I was afraid of what people might say about me, so when school started, I wasn't acting like myself. I was quiet, which I'm usually not. I didn't talk to anybody and didn't have any friends. Then a few years later, my grandma died. I really became depressed and stop going to school for a little. I hated myself and still do. I just need help. I need someone to care for me. I need someone to show that they care.

I agree; you need more care and support. No one deserves to feel alone, or like they hate themselves. We're all wonderful, imperfect, complicated people and we're at our best when we're all helping each other. I'm glad you wrote this question, because a lot of people have this feeling sometimes.&nbsp; I can tell that you're smart, because you seem to sense that the two things you wrote about are connected...you "not being yourself", and then how you felt when your grandma died.&nbsp; When Grandma died, you needed and deserved extra love and support, but the people around you didn't seem to give it to you, maybe. My hunch is that they wanted to, but that they didn't know how much you needed it, or what you needed exactly. The older you get, the more you will have to take charge of letting people know what you need. Maybe this is one of the suckier parts of being mature, but that's how it works.&nbsp; When you started middle school, it sounds like you changed; you got more quiet, right? That must have felt weird, to not be acting like yourself. It sounds like fear tricked you into thinking people wouldn't like you. Fear can be silly. So then, fear got you to not show yourself, and when we don't show ourselves, people can't see who we are; they don't know us as well and then they don't know what we need and they can't care for us as well either. Fear of not being liked isolated you from the people who love you. It does that to a lot of us.&nbsp; So, where you're at right now is because of what fear did to you, and also because when Grandma died you were already isolated so people couldn't see your pain and know that you needed support.&nbsp; There's a simple solution, but you'd have to be brave enough to look fear in the face and say "Get off my back!". "You're not helping me by telling me lies." Can you be brave enough to go back to your old, louder, self? If you talk to the people closest to you...tell them what you think and how you feel, then they'll be able to give you the care that you want and deserve. I wish you well as you try this!

I've been with the mother of my child for years.

I would think that you hold little self worth and feel that you are not worthy of better. &nbsp;I would suggest that you get to know yourself. &nbsp; What do you NEED in a relationship? &nbsp;What is holding you to this relationship other than your child? &nbsp;What have gone on in the relationship that makes you think or feel you deserve such disrespect? &nbsp;Just a few questions to ask yourself..

We just cannot seem to get along. I cannot have a conversation with her without it turning into World War 3. She treats me like I have no right to an opinion and never really lets me speak. My real mother cares and tries to help me, but she can't do much, because my adoptive mother won't listen to her either.

Going to see a experience counselor would be my advice. &nbsp;You will have a neutral person that can listen to both sides and help you all find a common ground of understanding. &nbsp;If she doesn't agree to counseling, really the only person you can change is you. &nbsp; I would suggest that you approach her with love and let her know what you appreciate about her, let her know the great things she have done that could not be replaced or forgotten however you want your relationship to get better than it has been lately. &nbsp;Hopefully this will open the door of communication where you can explain your thoughts and feeling but in a loving way. &nbsp;

I started seeing this guy that I met at a mutual friend's place. He recently broke up with his ex-girlfriend and started seeing me. Everything was great in the beginning, then I started having low self-esteem thoughts and thinking he was hanging with his ex-girlfriend again. It's all I think about. I am still seeing him, but things have changed because I am at a loss for words. I get stuck in my own thoughts. I like and care for him a lot. He just makes me nervous and gives me the butterflies.

Sounds like you are struggling with your own negative thoughts. &nbsp;As you stated, everything was great then you started having low self-esteem thoughts and thinking. &nbsp;What is contributing to these negative thoughts? &nbsp;His actions or your past experiences with unhealthy relationships would be my question..

I am a survivor of multiple intercourseual abuse/rape experiences. Triggers are having an effect on my daily life and my intercourseual relationship with my partner. I'm trying to learn to cope with them.

Have you tried counseling? &nbsp;Having PTSD from multiple abusive intercourseual experiences is very overwhelming for one to handle alone. &nbsp;You may need the guidance, experience and support of a professional to identify all the triggers that effect you and obtain the best coping skills that would work for you. &nbsp;

I am a single mother. As a child, I was molested by my mother's boyfriend. I never knew my father. I started having children at 18 right after high school. After having children, I completely lost myself and gave all of my focus on my children. Now my children are getting older, but I still don't know myself. I've had several attempts at relationships, and they all fail. I stopped caring about a lot after my children's father left me. I fell into a spiral and got depressed.

What your are experience is normal for most women. &nbsp;We usually forget about self and totally focus on our children putting our personal wants and needs aside. &nbsp;So to answer your question of how do you get to know yourself I usually do a 6 session course with my client by having them answer questions such as the following in the first session: &nbsp;What do I love? (other than your children) &nbsp;What are my own needs and desires? &nbsp;What 3 things have I accomplished in my life that I'm most proud of? &nbsp;What are 5 strengths or qualities I have? &nbsp;What is one event that had a major impact on my life? &nbsp;How have that event affected my life today? &nbsp; For their homework assignment after the 1st session, they are asked to write a letter to self tell self what they love, cherish, appreciate and even admire about themselves. &nbsp; Most women feel awkward at first, but I remind them that the truth is that only to the extent that you are able to love and value yourself, you are to love and support others. &nbsp;

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He loves me a lot, and I love him. It hurts to be apart from him for so long. It hurts all over, and then I feel like it won't last.

I would suggest that you look up the word codependency and it's characteristics. &nbsp;See if you relate to those characteristics. &nbsp;I have a feeling &nbsp;you have suffered some form of loss in your life that you have not dealt with properly. &nbsp;For some reason you are depending on your boyfriend to fill that loss. &nbsp;Considering working with a counseling to work through your emotions and resolve any lingering issues.

I feel like I am internally screaming all the time. Externally, I am calm, but I have this intense, unidentifiable emotion constantly. I don't feel sad. I don't cry a lot. I feel rather emotionally distant other than the internal screaming. It kind of feels like I'm a caged animal.

It is hard to make a definite diagnosis however I would say &nbsp;that it could be and or a combination of depression, stress, PTSD, etc. &nbsp;More background information would have to be needed. &nbsp;One thing I would say is that you really need to seek guidance from a professional to work through these symptoms. &nbsp;If what you described as a caged animal is released, all the crying, sadness, and controllable emotions will come out. &nbsp;That would not be good when they do. &nbsp;Get help before they do..

We've been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn't love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Under duress the very youngest parts of you and your boyfriend emerge. So, while you still look like grown ups, your actions and words are motivated by very early preverbal parts of both of you. In simple terms it is as if two infants somehow acquire the ability to say words but they are motivated by very basic early wounds that were created due to deficits in what was able to be done for each of you, and likely understandable in terms of caregiver's life experience, and that still fell short of what you needed. You are both still trying to get very early needs met.&nbsp; The best advice I can offer is to try and remember this as early as possible when things start to heat up, and then restrain expression that you already know leads nowhere helpful. And seek out a therapist who can help you to work with these early issues and can support you to grow and develop from this stuck point. Avraham Cohen, Ph.D, R.C.C., C.C.C.

I have not been able to really sleep. I stay up all times of the night not even knowing why. Every day, I feel like I have anger inside of me. I have a little family, but I can't open up to them like I want to. I have a son, and I feel that I take my anger out on him by screaming at him.

Best question is....what are you so angry about?&nbsp; You can't stop being so angry until you figure out what is the root of your anger.&nbsp; If you feel like you have anger inside, while I am sure you do.&nbsp; Taking it out on your son is only passing on the hurt and anger.&nbsp; This will be inside him too.&nbsp; Get some professional help so that you can be happy and have a happy child.

I start to think of an issue that doesn't even matter or something bad that happened years ago. Then, I cry, pull at my hair, plug my ears, hit myself, and throw things. In loud public places, I get on edge and start being sarcastic and moody. I have an awful fear of people leaving me (which normally ends up happening) and I feel like I'm too clingy.

There is a reason you are having breakdowns.&nbsp;I can't agree that they happen for&nbsp;"no reason at all".&nbsp; &nbsp;Finding out the reason is going to be your biggest challenge because that may require you to dig deep into your past, uncover hurtful experiences, or&nbsp;recognize something that would be extremely pain.&nbsp; However, if you don't find professional help to carefully guide you through whatever you may&nbsp;confront,&nbsp;the symptoms mentioned will continue and may even get worse.&nbsp; There is a light at the end of the road but you need&nbsp;some help to find the right road to get on so you can see it.

Now that the other girl is out of the picture, our intercourse life isn't the same. Is it because he is still thinking about the other girl?

Or...better yet... Is it you still thinking about the other girl?&nbsp; I am sure his cheating hurt you emotionally and&nbsp;may have&nbsp;affected your intercourseual performance&nbsp;as well.&nbsp; Make sure the other girl is out the picture on your end as well.&nbsp;&nbsp;Sounds like something the both of you need to have a calm and adult conversation about.&nbsp;

As I was growing up, my mother and father always fought. With that, I grew trust issues. I think it's going to affect my relationship now and end it sooner then I want to. I try not to let it affect me, but I can't.

If you thing your trust issues are going to end or affect your relationship it will because you are being baggage from your parents into this relationship.&nbsp; Don't allow their problems to become your problem.&nbsp; You didn't mention that your partner in your present relationship have done anything to make you not trust them.&nbsp; Like in the court of law, if no evidence....find not guilty.&nbsp;&nbsp;Don't make them pay the consequences as if guilty of your parents unhealthy behavior.

I been having anger problems a lot lately. It only takes one word wrongly said to set me off. I use to not be like this until I got with my soon-to-be husband. I think his mood and rage/anger problems have rubbed off on me a lot. I don't get nearly as bad as he does, but I yell almost constantly and I can't seem to just stop. I have two young babies that have to hear this, and I don't want my girls growing up with a mommy like I have been lately. I just don't know how to get back to my old self.

With me knowing that&nbsp;a healthy relationship&nbsp;usually includes respect, trust, appreciation, companionship, spiritual solidarity, domestic support, feeling of being cherished, and &nbsp;sensuous affection, I am wondering if you are lacking in several if not all of these needs in your present relationship.&nbsp; Before he becomes your husband, you should examine these areas and see if they are high in rating.&nbsp; Otherwise, yes this relationship will affect your girls and you negatively.&nbsp; I would suggest relationship counseling, specifically pre-marital.&nbsp; Not be surprised if through the process you realize that this relationship is not the best choice for you and your children.

My grandson's step-mother sends him to school with a pink Barbie backpack as a form of punishment.

Parents are to teach discipline to&nbsp;children, not punishment.&nbsp;&nbsp; Punishment is another word for wanting to cause hurt.&nbsp; There is a different in discipline and punishment.&nbsp;&nbsp;Punishment could have long term affects on a child's self image and growth.&nbsp; It can lead to others issues such as bullying from peers as well.&nbsp; Whatever your grandson has done, there is a much better way of getting him to understand that his actions are not acceptable.&nbsp; Punishment is not one them.&nbsp; Encourage the step-mother to build a positive relationship with him, this way he will learn to respect and trust her.&nbsp; His actions would improve.&nbsp; She may need to attend a parenting class for blended families.&nbsp;

I'm depressed. I have been for years. I hide it from everyone because I'm scared of the reactions I'll get. Last time I tried telling my parents, it was a huge argument about me being too young to be depressed (I'm a legal adult), calling me ungrateful, and telling me that if I can't handle things now, it's only going to get worse in the future (which is turning out to be true). It's exhausting pretending to be okay, and I don't know how much longer I can try. I'm just really tired, and sadly, I can't afford the help I need on my own.

Don't think that you can't afford the help you need on your own.&nbsp; There are several counselors that see people on a sliding scale that can be as low as $5 (based on your income).&nbsp; Find a center that is non-profit, they have great counselors as well.&nbsp; It sounds like you know what you are experiencing and know that you need someone to talk to, someone&nbsp;that is willing to listen.&nbsp; Your parents&nbsp;may not&nbsp;understand what your are feeling right now and that is not totally abnormal. I would encourage you to seek help immediately so you can live the best live you can...which is not being depressed.&nbsp;

I have several issues like I don't like people. They make me sick. I have issues with talking to people. I feel like they are talking about me and making fun of me. I have felt this way for years. When I look people in the eyes I have voices that tell me to hurt them and if I don't stop looking at who I am talking to it gets so loud I can't hear what they are saying. I just stay away from people to avoid this. I look at people and think how I could hurt them. I feel like I am worthless and would be better off not in this world where I don't fit in. Every day I wake up it's like another day. Any info would be good.

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot within your self which is causing you great pain.&nbsp; I would suggest that first you get a full physical evaluation to make sure that you are ok physically.&nbsp; Then getting a mental evaluation as well from a psychiatrist.&nbsp; Seeing both would help rule out any physically or psychologically causes to your symptoms.&nbsp; &nbsp; After getting these evaluations, your physician should be able to help guide you on what treatments would be the best to help with your everyday challenges your are facing.&nbsp; Whether treatment includes medication and/or psychotherapist would be discussed.&nbsp; Please consider doing both immediately so you can have the live you want everyday you wake up.

My husband used a lot of negative words to hurt me, and I moved out. He is seeing a counselor and wants another chance to make things right. I'm not sure if I trust that he will not go back to his old ways.

I am glad he is seeing a counselor.&nbsp; That is something that most men struggle with doing at times.&nbsp; Time will tell if his actions are of good intentions.&nbsp; However remember that a person can only do&nbsp;to you&nbsp;what you&nbsp;allow&nbsp;them to do in relationships.&nbsp;&nbsp; What part did you play?&nbsp; Did you&nbsp;down play his&nbsp;disrespect at one time?&nbsp;&nbsp;Did you give up the power of your own voice?&nbsp; Did you lose yourself in the relationship and it became just one sided?&nbsp; Did you allow him to make you doubt yourself?&nbsp;&nbsp; In others words, if you do decide to give him another chance,&nbsp;what would you do different?&nbsp; Not saying that you are the blame or cause of the negative words&nbsp;AT ALL, but don't allow such disrespect from him or&nbsp;anyone else in the future.&nbsp; If you do decide to give it another try, go in with&nbsp;a voice, with the demand of respect, with your needs and wants expressed and expected.&nbsp;&nbsp;With an increase in your self worth and confidence, you&nbsp;will know&nbsp;what to do&nbsp;if&nbsp;his actions are true&nbsp;or&nbsp;if&nbsp;with dishonest intentions.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Seek counseling as well, if you need that additional support to find self.&nbsp;

I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

Hello, This question describes a very typical setup of what is called the &nbsp;Binge, Repent, Repeat cycle. This means that typically after you binge, you experience emotions as you described "shame and disappointment" and then because of these emotions you "repent" (i.e. vow to never binge again, promise to "do better," go to the gym, etc.) and then ultimately end up bingeing again.&nbsp; There are many coping mechanisms for binge eating and one of the best is actually attempting to NORMALIZE eating. Meaning you need to attempt to eat normally, eating appropriately portioned meals 3 times a day, with snacks in between. IF you binge, then it may be helpful to remind yourself that when you attempt to compensate for your bingeing behaviors, and you end up feeling restricted from over exercising or undereating, then this actually leads to a binge again. Thus, reverting you back to the cycle. If you binge, it will be helpful to try and get back on a normal schedule of eating instead of trying to compensate for the binge. Although it may feel counterproductive, getting back on a normal eating schedule will prevent you from entering into the restrictive cycle.&nbsp; It can also be helpful to remind yourself that the binge has already occurred, it is in the past and the goal is to move forward without focusing on the past. Focus on what you can do differently next time. What emotions or situations led up to the binge? What can you to do prevent or change the circumstances that led to the binge, or the way that you handled the situation?&nbsp; Lastly, if you're struggling with "normalizing" eating, it can be helpful to work with a professional that can provide counseling and coaching to help you learn how to eating normally, mindfully and without feeling the guilt and other harmful emotions sometimes associated with disordered eating. I would be more than happy to assist you if you ever have any questions or want to reach out to somebody. You can contact me via my website:&nbsp;http://www.maddenwellnessky.com/&nbsp;

My parents seem okay with other intercourseualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about biintercourseuality, they say things like “they'll do anything” or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am biintercourseual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them.

Coming out to family members can cause a lot of anxiety. However, &nbsp;although I cannot promise what their reaction will be, the benefit is that you will no longer have to hide who you are. Perhaps researching or getting information on biintercourseuality can help your family understand what it truly is to be biintercourseual. Many times, &nbsp;people are just not educated on certain things.&nbsp;

I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

Unfortunately, ptsd is not something that can be cured. &nbsp;Ptsd can be managed through therapy. &nbsp;Mindfulness can assist in redirecting thoughts and gaining further control over paranoia. Therapy is confidential and there are different ways you can obtain treatment. &nbsp;Mental health professional have availability to provide therapy online, &nbsp;on the phone or in person.&nbsp;

I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a very complex issue.&nbsp; It is the root cause of many other issues including depression, anxiety and anger to name a few.&nbsp; Re-experiencing the event is a telltale symptom of PTSD.&nbsp; One of the best things you can do for yourself is to find someone who specializes in this area&nbsp;to help you work through the symptoms associated with this disorder as well as directly addressing the event/events that initially caused the symptoms.&nbsp; There are various treatment methods available to helping professionals that are successful in treating this disorder.&nbsp; In the meantime there is a book called "The Body Keeps the Score", it is&nbsp;informative and&nbsp;may be helpful for you on your journey.&nbsp; It is my hope that you are not dealing with this alone.&nbsp;&nbsp; Best wishes!

My parents seem okay with other intercourseualities, but normally they only talk about being gay. When they do talk about biintercourseuality, they say things like “they'll do anything” or things that make me very uncomfortable because I am biintercourseual. I don't know if I am ready to come out to them.

Perhaps you are not ready to come out to your parents.&nbsp; Often times&nbsp;our readiness is not dependent on what others' will say or how they&nbsp;react.&nbsp;But more so dependent on&nbsp;how emotionally prepared we are to deal with others' reactions.&nbsp; It&nbsp;may be&nbsp;beneficial for you&nbsp;to play out each possible&nbsp;scenario and&nbsp;conclusion (eg. your parents being supportive vs. your parents being disappointed and so on). How are you prepared to deal with the outcome?&nbsp; You&nbsp;may also seek help through counselors, support groups and/or individuals you know that have&nbsp;dealt with similar situations to help you prepare to discuss&nbsp;this with your parents.&nbsp;&nbsp;All the best!&nbsp;

I started dating my fiancé two years ago. My first cousin is married to my fiancé's sister. There has always been a communication issue between my uncle and aunt and my cousin and his wife. My uncle goes to my mom instead of talking to my cousin, and it upsets my mom.

Based on the information provided, this is an issue with boundaries.&nbsp;&nbsp; Sounds like your uncle goes to your mom and possibly your mother&nbsp;takes the issues&nbsp;to you.&nbsp; I do not like to assume so I will direct you to information regarding families dealing with enmeshment and triangulation.&nbsp; Enmeshment is the concept of diffused boundaries in families and other personal relationships.&nbsp; Triangulation is&nbsp;two individuals relaying information to a third party what cannot be said directly to each other.&nbsp;&nbsp;From someone who has dealt with&nbsp;both&nbsp;these issues on&nbsp;a personal level,&nbsp;being informed about&nbsp;family dynamics is beneficial and can help&nbsp;you develop healthy boundaries for yourself&nbsp;within your family structure.&nbsp; You may need assistance with developing healthy boundaries.&nbsp; Although it is possible, it is not easy to change the way you have been operating for any extended amount of time.&nbsp; Hope this help!

I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

The fact that you are aware of the issue and what causes it is a step in the right direction.&nbsp; You can absolutely break the cycle but it takes a lot of effort.&nbsp; Much like growing a physical muscle, developing coping mechanisms must be practiced (exercised) in order to gain strength.&nbsp; Find healthy activities that you like to do that can help you deal with stress.&nbsp; It appears that you are already going to the gym which is awesome; you want this to be a healthy experience not one done out of guilt.&nbsp; Is it possible for you to incorporate food items that are healthy for you?&nbsp;Remember any changes you make must be practiced and developed over time.&nbsp; You should seek professional help to assist you with getting to the root cause of your emotional connection to food.&nbsp;Normally these issues date back to childhood experiences however this is a generalization and I have little information to go on.&nbsp; Above all else BE KIND TO YOURSELF! Shame is counterproductive. If you want something to grow you give it love and attention.&nbsp;Well wishes!!!!!!

I feel so irritated and frustrated because of it. I get so angry to the point that I feel like I'm going to explode. I feel pathetic, stupid, and worthless. I just can't take this anymore.

Yeah I get the same problem... Look I'm not a professional but I've heard a few things. a powernap can help. just a half hour of sleep can clear your mind and let you refocus. Also, brain activity increases with physical exertion. Just walk around for a minute and get your brain working and that'll help you reach the task at hand. Taking breaks it totally okay. Try to have something to do in between that you enjoy.&nbsp;

I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am.

I'm having the same issue... I think you need to consider your morals and what you really want out of life. If there's something you want to achieve, that's who you are. And you need to put yourself into that and immerse yourself in the purpose of whatever you want. It doesn't matter how small it may seem. If there's nothing you want badly then think about other things. What others want or what you need or what others need. Find something that feels important and commit to it.&nbsp;

I'm a Christian teenage girl, and I have lost my virginity. My boyfriend is a Christian teenager too, but things just got out of hand between us in a intercourseual manner. I planned to abstain from intercourse but I guess I wasn't clear about this because I was also tempted and led him on. We continued to have intercourse. Does it mean that he isn't the one God planned for me? We're so young, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming of a potential future together. I really do feel like he is in my life for an important reason. I'm incredibly happy for I was able to escape from several abusive relationships because of him. I love him very much.

I'm not a super religious person... But I can't imagine that if you love him that much and you want him that much, that he wouldn't be the one for you because of something small like that. intercourse is an act of love and commitment. If you feel that you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, want to marry them, then why should you have to wait until marriage? If you truly feel that this is the person you want to be with, then why would you need to wait until marriage if you're just showing commitment to each other?&nbsp;

Sometimes I can't stop thinking about life after death. I was raised in a religion that teaches that we will live on forever either in hell or in heaven. When I think of living forever (even if it is in heaven which should be good), I feel overwhelmed. I don't like the thought of living forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I just can't get the thought out of my mind and the thoughts lead to panic and anxiety. Am I crazy? I don't think these thoughts are normal.

You need to find an outlet. Someone to talk to. Your dad or someone who loves your mother as well is someone ideal. But anyone could help. Just look to someone for help. If you can't find anyone who you think will listen, talk to your mom. It can help greatly just to get the words out. Tell her how you feel about her passing, but then also about everything else. Talk to her about your day. Tell her about happy things. I don't know if you're a religious person, or where you believe she is now, but no matter what you can talk to her.

I have a problem with binge eating, especially during times of stress. I binge eat and feel so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment that I end up going to the gym and trying to exercise the calories off. I am in my late 20s, and I have been dealing with this since I was a teenager. Are there any coping mechanisms I can use to break this cycle?

I believe that for results that last, the best approach is to understand why someone feels like doing a certain behavior. "Coping mechanisms" are superficial instruction that people usually give up on when feeling extreme pressure from the problem behaviors. Take the slower road of understanding why you would deprive yourself of enjoying food. Also, if you consider the binging as a mistake of some kind, reflect on why doing something less than ideal, deserves harsh criticism and not tolerance and acceptance that people mess up occasionally. I'm glad you know that there are better ways of treating yourself. &nbsp;This is a valuable awareness of realizing you deserve patience and respect, not humiliation and severe criticism when you are lost as to best ways of self-care.

I've had posttraumatic stress disorder for years without my parents ever finding out. I want to overcome it, but it's so vivid, it's like it's happening again. I'm scared and paranoid. I have depression, which I have been struggling with since a young age.

What is the reason you wouldn't want your parents to know you are trying to find your way through PTSD? Would they believe that you've been traumatized? And, do you feel that your parents had a hand in creating your trauma? There is no need to tell your parents you have PTSD unless you feel that doing so will help you. &nbsp; Maybe you intuitively realize that they don't want to understand or know about this. How did you come to the conclusion that you have PTSD? If you are working with a therapist, and a minor, then &nbsp;the laws of your State dictate what information your parents can ask your therapist about you. If you are a grown person and working with a therapist, &nbsp;you have complete legally protected privacy of what you talk about with your therapist. In any case, a good starting point is to know exactly your own reason for wishing to keep your psychological situation hidden from your parents.

We've been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn't love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Try having a conversation with your boyfriend about your views and wishes for the relationship, when the two of you are having a calm time. &nbsp; A few questions I'd like to ask him is why he says he doesn't love you when the topic at hand is about a specific practical matter. I'd also like to know what he hopes will happen from dwelling on a matter. And, why are you swallowing your pride? &nbsp;Sooner or later this will come up on you in much bigger ways. &nbsp;Instead, try to know your own wishes that you are either not stating or are being ignored by your boyfriend. The best way to resolve accumulated tensions is to slowly open the discussion between the two people. It is possible to stay together forever. &nbsp;What you each need to realize, is the terms under which this would most likely take place. Sending lots of luck!

Me and the father of my child have been dating for a year. We had a big argument and at first he wanted to work it out. But with time he started asking others and they told him to leave me. Now he wants me to wait on him to mature. He wants to talk to other people. Then come back in four years. He doesn't want to deal with me while I'm pregnant. He doesn't take me to the doctor or anything. I feel alone. How do I handle this situation?

Well, as far as your boyfriend, sounds like he has received advice from others that is not wise advice.&nbsp; Leaving is not the answer after a "big argument" as you mentioned.&nbsp; However this is not surprising to me based on his possible age and maturity level.&nbsp; Having a baby is a lifetime responsibility and there are very few who handle this or who realizes that it requires one to step their game up.&nbsp; This is something that he has to realize and be encouraged by his parents or a mature adult to do.&nbsp; Hopefully, someone who has better (wise) advice will talk to him and he will listen. As for you,&nbsp; how do you handle this situation is your question....you do what you have to do to prepare for your baby, with or without him.&nbsp; A lot can happen in four years and you don't have time, are not required, and can't wait to see what will happen with him.&nbsp; You have a LIFE to prepare for,&nbsp; to feed, to protect, and to love.&nbsp; Can you tell your baby to wait; I don't want to deal with you now; I need to mature; I will be back to see you later; Hope you will be fine?&nbsp; Nope!!! &nbsp; As I always say, you are not alone because there is someone somewhere going through the same or similar thing.&nbsp; Develop healthy friendships...whether with family, friends or new people who may enter your life.&nbsp; Your support system will grow and life will go on...with or with him.&nbsp; Stay focus on you and your baby...

Something happened this summer that I cannot forgive myself for. When I think about what happened, I feel ashamed and guilty even though my loved ones forgave me.

Realize that you are human, not perfect and will make the wrong decisions at times.&nbsp;&nbsp; That is OK, we all have.&nbsp; However, the best way is to say OK, I did it, learned from it, will not do that again.&nbsp; EVER!!!&nbsp; You can get pass it; grow from it.&nbsp; Unfortunately, we forgive others faster than we do ourselves because we hold ourselves to higher standards or expected better behavior from ourselves.&nbsp; It can be embarrassing, hurtful, almost unforgiving at times.&nbsp; But how do you forgive yourself? Take a Deep Breathe..... and then acknowledge that you did something wrong, acknowledge it, and say to self,&nbsp; "I forgive me".&nbsp; Just like you would say to someone else.&nbsp;&nbsp; This starts the process of forgiving. Also ask yourself these questions: &nbsp; What lesson did I learn?&nbsp; What would I have done differently?&nbsp; What will be a trigger that will make me do that again, if I happened to be weak or tempted?&nbsp; Avoid or prepare for those triggers....&nbsp;&nbsp; Forgiving yourself will set you free from the prison you have put yourself in.&nbsp; You would start back living.&nbsp;

We've been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn't love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

Communication involves a listener and a speaker.&nbsp; Both have to be willing to do their part to make communication work.&nbsp; This is something that takes both and not just one.&nbsp; Without both, communication is impossible.&nbsp;&nbsp; Staying together and the kids observing unhealthy communication is already broken.&nbsp; Seek help to improve communication. &nbsp;&nbsp; Couples' counseling would be helpful.

I found out my boyfriend takes anti-depression medicine. Lately he's been saying he has a lot on his mind, and he needs time to think about us. We've only been dating 3 weeks but I like him a lot.

Give him the time and space he needs.&nbsp; Obviously something is going on with him that he needs time to process, think about, and work through.&nbsp; Respect that most men are not talkers but more thinkers.&nbsp; If and when he is ready to talk, he will.&nbsp; When and if he does talk, be a comforting listener and put yourself in his shoes the best you can to be the support he needs.&nbsp; Don't take it personal because you just been dating 3 weeks and his depression maybe something that been going on for a while.&nbsp; If you do like him...showing him by being patient and supportive at this time.

Whenever I have to speak in public or be in big crowds, I freak out. I get light-headed, sweaty, and I have trouble breathing.

As you do it more, it should get better or at less with less anxiety.&nbsp; Anxiety is normal for most when speaking in public.&nbsp; I hear this from even the best of facilitators who have been doing it for years.&nbsp; I even experienced that when I first became a counselor and had to lead classes.&nbsp; I asked myself why were I so anxious?&nbsp; I admit at that time I didn't have confidence in myself.&nbsp; The more I prepared and practiced, the more my confidence level increased.&nbsp; Yours will too...

My coworkers are making false statements about me to the boss, saying I have mood swings. They have no proof to back it up. Can my employer make me see a therapist of their choice?

If this is a concern of a few coworkers, make sure it is not something they see but you don't admit to.&nbsp; Employers can "suggest" or something "stipulate" in continued employment with them&nbsp; for you to go to their Employment Assistance Provider (EAP) if they have noticed the same behavior and concerned of how it is effecting productivity or employee relationships.&nbsp; No one wants to work in a environment which they consider hostile.&nbsp; Employers can be held responsible if they do not take action. Couple of things you can do... Ask a coworker in which you trust and respect if what others are saying is true? Seek professional help from your primary care provider or counselor if mood swings do exist.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;

I am a teenage girl. I've been seeing the same dream once in a while since I was very young. The problem is that I don't remember anything about this dream. I still know that it's the same one, and then I wake up in a panic, and I cry really loud without knowing the reason. Why do I see the same dream, why can I not remember it, and what should I do to remember it?

There is no scientifically established formula for understanding dreams, that I know about, however, many people get a great deal of value from exploring what their dreams mean. It is believed by many that our dreams contain metaphors that represent meaningful patterns in our lives and relationships and if we pay attention to them we can learn important things about ourselves. One thing you might try, to see if you can get more insight into the dream and possibly begin remembering things, is to take note of whatever you do remember, any details about your experience, such as when do you wake up from the dream, how do you feel, both emotionally and physically, what are you thinking about when you wake up, is there any pattern in terms of what happens to you in your waking life around the time you have this dream... If you can keep a journal or a recording device to speak into by your bed, you can try to record whatever you do remember and notice as soon as you wake up. People seem to have more difficulty remembering dreams, the more time they let go by before attempting to record the dream, or if you go back to sleep before recording what you remember.

My mom is always bossy and treats me like a child even though I'm in my 20s. She argues with me over stupid stuff.

This is a common issue. You grow up gradually, and parents often forget to shift their habitual responses according to your newfound level of maturity and growing need for freedom and independance. I'm all for helping you find new ways to cope and interact with your mom.&nbsp; Ultimately, you only have control over yourself, so that's the place to start. You can remind yourself that Mom's behaviours don't mean that she doesn't trust you or love you; it's just that she has habitual ways of talking to you that seem stuck in the fourteen year old range. If you can see her responses as habits, rather than a reflection of how she feels about you, then you can keep yourself calm. The more calm you are, the more she will buy into it when you invite her into a different sort of relationship.&nbsp; Take a look at the picture from her perspective. She may feel overwhelmed with finances (are you in college?), and feel burdened by the mundane tasks in life that she doesn't know how to recruit help for. I bet your mom spends a lot of time picking up after you, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry...all those thankless mom tasks. Take a look at how she talks to you... is she nagging about chores? Can you see that underneath the nagging there's a pretty overwhelmed and powerless person who needs assistance? &nbsp;Okay, so my guess is that you both have a legitimate beef. She wants help. You want respect. Let's talk about how you get both. I propose that you sit down with mom and negotiate out a different sort of dynamic. "Mom...I see us as stuck in how we interacted when I was fourteen. Can we do this differently in a way that we both get what we want?" Sell it as "win-win". Then you write down some things that end up forming a contract.&nbsp; <span style="line-height: 1.42857;">The first part is stuff that's your business and your business alone: things you want your mom to respect, like your room, your school, your job, your personal relationships and hygiene.... Mom's voice has no place in these arenas, unless you are storing food in your room and it's a health hazard. This is a "Mom says nothing about" list.&nbsp;</span> The second part is about what Mom needs from you. What are her expectations about your role in the home as an adult. Does she want you to contribute to rent? Buy your own food? Do your own laundry? What items can we put in your control that would take some burden off of Mom? How will these things be enforced? What will happen if you don't follow through? Write it all down so it's really clear. It has to all be mutually agreed upon. The third part of the conversation is about how she talks to you, and how you talk to her. You can let her know that you don't want to be told what to do or when to do it; that doesn't work when you're 20 years old. Listen to what she wants too. Beyond the contract you've just written up, anything else you want from each other is a request, it's optional, and whether and when you do it is at your discretion. My guess is that if she spoke to you with more respect, you'd be more willing to help out. AND, I think if you participated a bit more she would nag at you less. Go for the win-win.&nbsp; I wish you well as you negotiate a new relationship with Mom. :) &nbsp;

I get so much anxiety, and I don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

The other two post answers to your question are very good and I don't feel the need to repeat what has already been said quite well, but I will offer one other option I have been able to utilize quite successfully with those dealing with panic attacks. &nbsp;Chain analysis is a fantastic way for your to map out the situation starting with the prompting event, the chain of events ((links) that lead up to the behavior - in this case a panic attack, and then what the consequences were. &nbsp;See the illustration below: <img src="data:image/png;base64,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

We've been together almost three years. We argue and he ends it by telling me he doesn't love me. It's hurtful because I am all about resolving the problem, and he dwells on the issue even if I drop what he's done and just swallow my pride and say I am sorry. How can this be resolved? We have kids, and I don't want a broken family because we can't communicate.

You can't fix this by yourself, but I applaud you for trying. One person working hard in a relationship can make things better for a while., but in the long haul you need two people giving some effort. I'm reading between your lines here and I wonder if your need to keep the family together is getting you to apologize when you've done nothing wrong and ignore things you've felt hurt by. I sense that you're doing all the work...that it's not balanced.&nbsp; I have worked with many couples and I've learned never to underestimate what kind of change is possible; anything is possible. But in order for change in a couple to occur, you need two people who are both willing to own their choices and behaviours, and who have empathy. Your boyfriend doesn't appear to have these components; he pushes you away and blames you when he's done something hurtful. Can you be honest with yourself about what's happening? I encourage you to sit down with a trusted friend or therapist and look at what you have here and what your options are. I wish you well.&nbsp;

I started dating my fiancé two years ago. My first cousin is married to my fiancé's sister. There has always been a communication issue between my uncle and aunt and my cousin and his wife. My uncle goes to my mom instead of talking to my cousin, and it upsets my mom.

When you're upset about something, the first question you can ask yourself is "Whose problem is this?" It is amazing how many problems will disappear right at that point, because you realize the problem isn't even yours. You can't fix everything in your family. You are starting a new family of your own, and it's time to create a protective bubble around your family unit that keeps other people's issues away. I tell myself "Not my pig, not my farm, not my problem." When you stop trying to take care of other people's problems, they are more likely to step up and deal with it themselves. :)

I believe it is wrong for men to look at inappropriate content. The father of my child has agreed to respect my beliefs. His co-worker sent him an inappropriate video. He got mad because he does not think he should tell his friend to not send him things like that.

It sounds like you are wanting to protect your child from degrading images and that is one of the important parts of the job of a parent. Although it is challenging to supply an answer without knowing the full situation, it might be helpful to have a more broad discussion about what you both think about the influences and images that your child is exposed to and what you think your role is in protecting your child. This situation is one about beliefs and values and could well be an example you can use for exploring your parenting roles in protecting your child.

I am married, but I had intercourse with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

Yes, of course, it's your body and you can do what you feel like doing. Do you feel a commitment to your partner? Your guilt probably is pointing out the feeling of having done with your body what your spirit tells you is a violation of the commitment you feel toward your partner. The good news is that this is a moment for you to examine how strong your commitment is to your partner. Find balance between satisfying your freedom to do as you please, with your sense of being a partner, which means prioritizing the partner once in a while.

I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now.

Why don't you just tell him everything that you just wrote here? You're clear in your mind as to what you would like. Unless you have a whole either side to the way you feel, everything you wrote here explains your position very well. Good luck in having your conversation!

I am married, but I had intercourse with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

My questions to you would be:&nbsp; Why did you get married?&nbsp; Would it bother you if your spouse did the same to you?

I am a female, and I am afraid of having intercourse. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having intercourse.

The greatest intercourse experience will be with someone who you feel connected to outside the bed.&nbsp; This is something that you should feel comfortable in talking with your partner about.&nbsp; The relationship needs to be strong before moving to the bed anyways. If the love is there, he will understand your fears and make you feel comfortable making it a great experience.&nbsp;

I saw my mother cheating on my dad before. I said something to her, and she said it was in the past. Yesterday, I saw her texting dirty things to the same guy. Should I talk to her again? I don't want my parents to go their separate ways, I just want her to stop. it's not fair.

You as the child in the middle of your parents' problems is the worse position to be in.&nbsp; I can only imagine your hurt, pain and confusion on what to do.&nbsp; Honestly, this is a hard question to answer without knowing your age, your parents' ability to handle hearing information from you and your maturity to handle what may happen in the end.&nbsp; One thing I would like to note....your parents may be in the same house but if your mother is cheating, they have already gone their separate ways.&nbsp;

I've been with him for a couple months. We will talk everyday and he will get mad over something I will say and not talk to me. We have our great moments, but I just need to focus on my personal situations, and I feel he is slowing me down with that. I still wanna be with him, but not now.

I have learned that the best approach is to say that you need the time to get yourself together, mature, learn, outside of a intimate relationship but just in a friend to friend relationship...don't blame him or point fingers at him.... most likely if you did that it would not go well.&nbsp; If you make it about you and that you want the best for him while you work on self, it would be taken better.&nbsp;

I just need to know if I'm really crazy or not.

Do an internet research on psychosis symptoms and see if you have several of the symptoms.&nbsp; If you do, seek a medical evaluation from your primary care physician.&nbsp; There are great medications and psychotherapy that can help you live your life to the fullest.&nbsp; There a many people who are diagnosed with psychosis and living a productive life.&nbsp;

My dad passed away when I was a teenager. I never got any help, and five years later, I feel like I can't handle it anymore.

It's never to late to get help with grief.&nbsp; Get help as soon as possible before you are feeling the same way 5 years from now.&nbsp; You will always miss your Dad but getting help with coping with his loss will make life easier to live. &nbsp;&nbsp;

I get angry and act out. It scares my wife and child.

Yes you can..&nbsp; If you cannot control your temper, who can?&nbsp; You have more power of your emotions, thoughts and feeling than you are giving yourself credit for.&nbsp; If this is scaring your wife and child, you need to get control of it immediately.&nbsp; Try going to an anger management class.&nbsp; It will help to discover what is the root cause of your anger, what triggers it and how you can control/manage it.&nbsp; If you can't go to a class, try self help books or even better yet counseling and support of a professional counselor.

We're not together, but I'm still doing things for him and we are intimate. He's not there for his son.

You didn't ask a direct question because I feel from what you wrote you already know the answer.&nbsp; I hate to sound harsh but I am a therapist that call it how I see it so brace yourself... You will always continue to have problems with letting your child's father go as long as you: Don't love or respect yourself first...Don't love and respect your son...Don't demand respect as a woman and mother...Give up the goods regardless of what he does for you or your son...Don't hold your son as a priority in your life....Have self worth of a $1, etc. I have a feeling you are saying...I do love my son and hold him as a priority even if you don't do it for yourself... I would ask...Are your actions of allowing such disrespect from his father proof of that? I know what I have said may have gotten under your skin...I want it to.... because I feel that you have a conscience, want to do better, know you and your son deserve better and you can do better.&nbsp; Believe in yourself and that you and your son DO desire better and it starts with you setting boundaries with his father.&nbsp; You can do&nbsp; it!!!

When I'm around people, I sometimes think someone has made a comment to me or asked me to do something. I will be focusing on something else and then randomly think I hear something about me. I never know if it was actually said.

It sounds like you are having difficulty knowing if people are saying things to you, or if you only thought someone was talking to you, and this is anxiety producing. It's understandable that it could be confusing and/or a bit scary to be unsure if people are speaking to you or not. It's hard to say exactly what is going on from just this description, but if you can work with a competent therapist, you may be able to get more insight into what is happening, get clarity about your social interactions, and develop some ways to deal with the anxiety.

My husband told me last year he never loved me and should have never married me. He's been talking about divorce, but he hasn't filed. Now he has a girlfriend and he abandoned me and his kids. He has no financial help, and he has been out of the home for four months. He became very angry and mean. He says it's all my fault, and that we're not compatible.

It's hard to say that it is a midlife crisis stage..&nbsp; could be... but so much more seems to be going on or have been going on to say with confidence that it is not much more.&nbsp;

I work two jobs and go to school for criminal justice. Over the summer, my father had a stroke. It was very devastating. My father isn't the same, and my family fights every day. I have been kicked out the house many times. I break down a lot.

You undoubtedly are carrying a huge weight on your shoulders. Stressors come in many forms and you are engulfed in a few of the major ones as it relates to dealing with the declining health of your father, family conflict, as well as trying to balance a work and school schedule. Stress, if left unchecked has many negative health related implications. First and foremost I would recommend going to see a counselor at your college/university. Most colleges have counseling centers for students that usually allow for 5-6 free counseling sessions (your tuition actually pay for these sessions so take advantage of them). Secondly I would advise you to take a minute and breathe. When confronted with overwhelming life issues it is common to busy ourselves in an attempt to distract ourselves from the drama, but sometimes that can compound our stress. When dealing with stress it is important that you engage in self care. In other words find time to engage in activities that bring you a sense of peace, enjoyment, and fulfillment in order that you may get a momentary release from your daily hectic life. Even with a normal life there is no way to escape stress, it is inevitable and a part of life, but how you deal with stress, as well as how you take care of yourself in the midst of these whirlwind events will determine your quality of life. I hope this helps...

I am a female, and I am afraid of having intercourse. I am afraid of disappointing my partner by being inexperienced. I think he thinks I'm not a virgin. I am also scared that he will be disappointed with my naked body. I don't want my partner to think differently of me because I am afraid of having intercourse.

As hard as it may be to do this, since all the media and marketing of how an ideal person looks and performs intercourseually, surrounds us, keep in mind that the images presented in order to sell movies and almost any product, is meant to trigger fantasies. No one is a fantasy, we are all real and unique. &nbsp;We can be influenced to believe that being a fantasy is better than being who each of us is, genuinely. Your partner may be much more accepting of your body and your level of intercourseual experience, than you are of yourself! intercourse within a relationship means the two people want to have with the other one, not because they have ideal bodies and expertise, but because the person wants to make love to the one whom they love. When you are in a loving relationship, part of this includes talking about sensitivities and insecurities. &nbsp;Having a conversation gives the chance to know that you are accepted for who you are, not how closely you resemble a made up idea meant to persuade people to buy items.

I get so much anxiety, and I don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I'm scared of the outcomes.

Anxiety is simply your system communicating to you that you are in danger. The issue that I see in most of my clients is that they try to reason with this anxiety. You do not reason with sensory states in the body. If your system tells your in danger (your stomache feels like it is knots, your heart is beating out of your chest,) validate by just being present with it. Take your breath to it. Breath in and out of that space. Say ok, I am in danger. I always tell my clients, "a crying baby wants to be held, not told to shut up." Listen to your system, validate it like you do a child and see what happens.&nbsp;

I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am.

Three years ago I attended a week long meditation retreat. By the fifth day I noticed I was light headed and felt very strange. I began to realize within my own being an experience of no separation. I would see others at the retreat and smile. I loved them all. I could feel the connection with this awareness I had read about but never truly understood until that moment. I remember understanding all the teachings I had learned throughout my life about a god who existed outside of me. I realized I had all these answeres within my own being and so did everyone else. I began to see everyone as not just capable but powerful loving beings. Since this experience it has been my desire for everyone to become conscious within whatever experience they wish. I do this in many ways.&nbsp; At our studio we combine Mental Health with yoga and meditation as well as nutrition counseling to help people come to their optimal selves. To truly come into a state of "finding yourself," is to start to know and own who you are from a state of solid being. In this there is nothing new under the sun, and it is very simple. I would love to teach you and anyone interested in coming into a state of awake conciousness. &nbsp;The more awake we are the more joyful we are. I live in this state of being and demonstrate it in my daily life.&nbsp;

I am married, but I had intercourse with my friend. I feel guilty, but I feel not guilty too. Do I need to feel guilty? It's my body, and I have full rights to do what I like.

I don't think there's anything that you're supposed to feel. Some people feel tremendously guilty when they cheat, and others not at all. It could be that your partner doesn't know about the cheating and you haven't had to face his/her emotions and reactions. When something we do is hidden...a secret...it's easier to avoid feeling guilty. I wonder if you're avoiding your own emotions. But let's put that question aside for now. There are better questions. What do you want? Do you want your marriage? If not, this may be why you don't feel guilty.&nbsp; Do you want to be able to sleep with your friend? It's unlikely that both are possible (keeping the marriage and the affair). Yes, you get to do whatever you want with your body...and...there may be consequences. Affairs almost always get discovered.&nbsp; Who do you want to be? What kind of partner do you want to be? What might your partner feel if they knew? How might you feel then? Would you care? Has something happened that's affected how much you care about your partner? I suggest that these other questions might be a place to start. Exploring it with a therapist is something to consider maybe. I wish you the best as you sort it out. :)