the_onion_news_headlines
Browse files- news_headlines.txt +9 -0
news_headlines.txt
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Congressman Interrupts General’s Testimony To Just Reiterate He Loves War
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Israel Military Reports It Was You, The Reader, Who Blew Up Hospital
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‘The Onion’ Calls On Israel To Bomb Our Offices In Case Any Hamas Agents Hiding Out There
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Encouraging Study Finds There Still A Bunch Of Kids Who Haven’t Been Shot Yet
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White House Tour Group Shrinks Down To Molecular Size For Journey Into President
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Biden Chokes Up While Describing Hardworking Americans Who Can Only Afford Shitty Ditch Weed
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Man Impressed By How Bad He Smells
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Humane Meat Company Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep
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MIT Researchers Create ‘Psychopath’ AI By Feeding It Reddit Data
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