text: Dear Santa, I cant believe the year is almost over
  Its getting colder, Im a year older, but Im still your soldier
  Youre my hero because you always bring me the assist
  So once again were back to zero, here we go, my Christmas list
  I wont be greedy or needy or ask you for too much
  Just want one thing and hope you still got that magic touch
  Cause gettin this present is the only thing keeping me alive
  Dear Santa Claus, please bring me a PS5
  I tried to buy one at Wal-Mart, ran around the mall likе Paul Blart
  Tried to find one on sale, but thе thing is that theyre all out
  Yo, I even went to a GameStop, but then I went Wait, stop!
  Santa Claus can make one, the man got his own workshop.
  I know you probly hear this every day, but you got a cool hat
  I love that movie you did with Will Ferrell, man, Elf was phat
  Anyways, I love the things you do
  Dont forget, bring my gift, truly yours, I believe in you
  This is Stu
  La-la-la-la-la-la-la
  La-la-la-la-la
  Dear Santa, I noticed you never wrote me a letter back
  Thats fine, dawg, but not really, I think thats kinda wack
  If you cant help your biggest fan, then you should just retire
  Or next time you slide down my chimney, Ill set your ass on fire
  Just playin, I still love you, my girl thinks that Im obsessed
  I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest
  Just bring that PS5, bro, if its the only thing you do
  Sincerely yours, Stu—P.S. We should live together, too
  Dido
  Stu is waiting for his surprise
  To open up a PS5
  He just really wants to play
  Assassins Creed on Christmas Day
  But he cant buy it himself because he lost his job
  Cause he was stealing from his boss
  Id be worried cause hes a scary guy
  A scary guy
  La-la-la-la-la-la-la
  La-la-la-la-la
  Dear Mr. Holly-Jolly-Two-Faced-Son-of-a-Bitch
  I hope you crash your sleigh and wind up face-down in a ditch
  I guess even the great Saint Nick cant track down a PS5
  Hey Santa, I drank a fifth of eggnog, dare me to drive?
  You ruined Christmas! I wish I never told you what was on my wish list!
  Screw you, your elves, your stupid beard, and your bitch tits!
  So thisll be my last letter, I know youll miss me when Im gone
  Sincerely yours, Stu!
  Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Elton John
  This year, Christmas will be bad
  Cause Santa sucks and Stu is sad
  Already asked you very nicely
  And now hes really pissed off
  Im just telling you
  Cause I like you a lot
  Im a big fan of Santa Claus
  And I also want a PS5
  A PS5
  Dear Stu, I think you got the wrong address, bro. Im not Santa Claus. Bye-bye!
  Damn!