text: Yell help, too many cooks and a bird in the bush, yell help
  Yell help, if your mirror busts and your cat gets cussed, yell help
  Because down the road you find someone else whos looking
  Down the road you find another sweet lady cooking
  So i gotta yell help
  Yell help, some shelter from the storm like the travel agent warned
  Yell help, if you can help your superstitions they gonna keep you warm
  Because down the road you find someone else whos looking
  Down the road you seen another sweet lady cooking
  So i gotta yell help
  I wish tonight wasnt wednesday night
  I wish it wasnt the thirteenth of july 
  And youre looking at the guy whose eyes cant deny
  That he wishes he were somewhere else tonight 
  Well i met this woman down in new orleans
  Lord she built just like a dream
  Even wore stockings that had seams
  And she was ugly
  Now hell i dont mind women of her kind
  Ill even pay sometimes for a woman thats ugly
  She built like a steamroller
  Just the kind to mow you over anytime
  Hey the moment might arrive
  On bourbon street
  Well the ugliest woman youll ever meet
  But shes mine all mine and shes ugly
  So i better yell help
  Yell Help!