text: KANYE: Welcome to our show, waking up with Kimye, haaaaaaaa! Im Kanye West and this is my girl Kim Kardashian. What better way to start off your morning than with our energy, my opinions, and the sound of Kims voice
  KIM: Hii guuuyss
  KANYE: Yall like this dress? I picked it out. This aint no Kris Humphries basketball wife Kim
  KIM: Yeah
  KANYE: I turned this woman into an artiste
  KIM: Yeah
  KANYE: A philosopher
  KIM: Okay...
  KANYE: An intergalactic icon of creativity, huh?!
  KIM: Im also blonde now!
  KANYE: Now give it up for our hen-house family band, the Kardashian 11
  KIM: Hi you guys
  THE KARDASHIANIAN 11: Hiiiii
  KANYE: All playing instruments match to the musical abilities. We got Khloe on triangle, Kourtney on triangle, Kendall on a box of rice, Rob on the Simon, Kris Jenner on the clapping of her own hands. And also on triangles several other satellite Kardashians that Im excited to meet at Thanksgiving.
  Alright, our first segment highlights the latest innovations in artistic expression, its called What Kim Made.
  KANYE: Show the world what you created, baby
  KIM: I made this, its a macaroni necklace
  KANYE: Yall hear that?! She just changed the game. Food is jewelry now, haaaaaaaa! Ok, time to bring out our first guest. You can do this baby, come on
  KIM: Ok. Our first guest works at the Apple store in the Beverly Center. Please welcome Karen
  KANYE: No-no-no-no-now, Karen please tell the people what you do at the Apple store
  KAREN: I help customers fix problems with their Apple computers
  KANYE: Haaaaaaaa! Haaaaaaaa! And this somehow makes you deserving of the title genius?
  KIM: Uh oh
  KAREN: Well, I work at the Genius bar so its just a term Apple came up with
  KANYE: You do not deserve the title of genius! You cant just throw that term around! Mark Zuckerberg is a genius, I am a genius, I am a God, Kim is a genius! Tell him about your invention idea, baby!
  KIM: Ok, uh you know how the people who wash your clothes sometimes have to go home, but you have a top you still need to wash? Well what if there was a machine in your house that could wash your clothes for you?
  KAREN: You mean a washing machine?
  KIM: Oh, thats a good name for it!
  KANYE: You see? We earn the right to be called genius. Between the two of us we have won 19 Grammies, sold over 21,000,000 albums and won best male rapper artist at the NAACP awards, haaaaaaaa!
  KIM: Yay we did it!
  KAREN: Um Im a little confused, I was told I was here to fix a Macbook error
  KANYE: Yeah thats right, Kims laptop broke
  KIM: I saw an apple on it so I dipped it in caramel
  KAREN: So do you guys need me to fix it or can I go please?
  KANYE: Naw, uh you know cause uh, right now its time for our next segment ok? Our next segment when we take an in depth look at the world of fashion. Frumpy white girl, get up and get next to my fiance cause its time for Kim Wore It Better!
  KAREN: Wore it better? How can you even compare us were not even wearing the same thing?
  KANYE: And thats a damn shame, cause you standing next to a style Titan. Baby, what do I always call you?
  KIM: The Michael Jordan of wearing clothes
  KANYE: Yeah, ok. Lets analyze the two, alright. Kim is wearing a Givenchy piece that she initially did not want to wear so I had to put her in it while she was asleep. Its sexy while at the same still says Hey, this girl knows how to read. And uh, Karens wearing this garbage.
  KAREN: nervous groan
  KANYE: Kim wore it better! What do you have to say for yourself Karen?
  KAREN: Well first of all this is my work uniform...
  KIM: Ewww work
  KAREN: But honestly I dont care about fashion. I think people who try too hard with their outfits are maybe hiding something. Like cmon dress like a person. Im a jorts and jelly shoes kind of girl
  KANYE: Alright, um, Im gon pretend you did not just say that. Were gonna take a quick break, when we come back Kim is going to teach you about Japanese paper folding art of Origami, the art of it, so..
  KIM: Its a snowball!