data/journals/manchester_girl.txt

Last night was insane bro - I'm still reeling from that whole bar crawl and this freaking Manchester girl. Here's how it all went down...
It started at the first stop on our hostel's bar crawl, this rooftop spot at another hostel with a sweet view of Seville in Spain. We were drinking some slightly above average homemade Spanish drinks drinks when I found her from across the rooftop on a balcony. She just had this sexy, confident vibe that immediately caught my eye. She had a drink in her hand, and she looked heavenly.
Our eyes met and I walked over. She flashed me this mischievous smile, already starting the flirty games. We started talking about where we were traveling from -- she was from Manchester and was going on a road trip all around Spain. She was definitely more well-traveled than I was, and we started talking about flings and relationships during trips. I asked her if she wanted to get into one during her trip in Spain, she didn't respond directly, only saying "Don't get too attached, boy" with a devilish grin.
Even though I realized this was just about lust and not any real feelings, I was completely hooked. It was like she wanted me to get attached.

We carried on shamelessly flirting and teasing each other as our crawl took us to progressively better bars. The more we drank, the more explosive the sexual tension.
Eventually we found ourselves at this underground cellar bar, dimly lit and thumping with raw energy. That's where she totally caught me by surprise, pulling me in for a drunk makeout. In that moment, there was no games or chasing, it was just vibes and our desires taking control.
But then just as quickly she pushed me away!! I thought I was a really good kisser, but it was just sudden and it left me wanting it again. The cycle had started - mini makeouts followed by her going cold and talking to other guys. I could see her getting off on toying with me.
As the drinks kept flowing, those fleeting moments of intimacy separated by long torturous stretches became my whole world. She'd pull me close only to shove me away, feeding an obsessive longing I couldn't logic my way out of.

And then we made it to the final stop, a club called the Green Room. We each got tequila shots and the tension reached the max. Dimly lit, loud music, all our friends in a circle, couples around us having fun.  where the tension reached a fever pitch. We didn't think and just surrendered to the intense vibes, dancing on eachother.For those hazy hours, nothing else mattered except vibing and playing dirty.
Before we knew it, the time was 3AM and the two of us stumbled our way out of hte club. She took control and led the way, we hopped in a taxi (Uber) that went back to our hostel. I had no idea what we were about to do, but if the car kissing was any indication, it was going to be fun.
But then, I had some water from the bottle in the taxi and just like that, the spell was broken. One look into her eyes and they were just...empty. I realized that while I was a goner, she stayed completely detached the whole time.
At that point, it was too late to turn back -- the sex just didn't hit the same after that, even though she was still doing her thing to rile up the foreplay (like locking the door). But looking back, it's crystal clear - it was nothing beyond a random, average hookup.
As morning came around, I woke up in my own bed, with full memory of the night. But I'm left wrestling with the hard truth: that I got myself attached. She didn't actually like me at all - I was just a quick, thrilling fling. A plaything to mess around and game with and toss aside once she got what she wanted.
For as mind-blowingly hot as it was, I've come out the other side painfully, wondering how I stupidly got attached to this one night fantasy. Still, I don't regret a second of that crazy night, because I truly lived. But next time... I'll try not to get attached.