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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Boyfriend [15m] Broke up with Me [17f] and is spreading Rumors about me. I don't want to break up, Help?
POST: I asked about this before but didnt really get any help :/ My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me last weekend, and now he's spreading rumors about me around school. He's saying that I'm psycho/crazy and a bunch of stuff. What happened that led to the breakup is that some girl was texting him saying flirty stuff, he wasn't flirting back but she wasn't being appropriate at all and she knew he had a girlfriend.
I read some of these texts, I didn't go through his phone or anything. He left it in his room when he was in another and he got a text and I was going to bring it to him but it was from a girl so I just checked it. I didnt respond but I texted her from my phone and asked who she was and why she's texting my boyfriend and she told my boyfriend that i read their conversation and texted her.
Then he asked me about it and I just said I was worried and he said I'm overprotective and crazy and stuff and I got really upset with him and he broke up with me. I want to try to stay together but he pretty much hates me now, and he still talks to this girl, i saw in his twitter messages thing and I don't want them to end up dating or something. What can I do about the rumors and this whole situation? I really don't want to break up and I think he just did it out of anger.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend broke up with me for texting a girl that was sending flirty stuff to him, and he's telling prople that i'm crazy and read through his stuff. I don't want to break up at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I don't know if I should believe him.
POST: I'm an exchange student in a foreign country and in the group of exchanges there is this guy, he's cute but I didn't really notice him until he helped me out with when I was breaking up with my boyfriend. It's not what it sounds like, he actually advised me to stay with him. And we became friends, not super close.. but yeah, closer.
Then his birthday came around maybe like a month later and we both got drunk and he asked me to kiss him, we made out.. then he left and we didn't talk about it. The next weekend it happened again, but before it did I asked him why, he said because he liked me a lot. We left the club and went to watch a movie, we made out through it and he asked me if I thought I was ready for a relationship, I answered honestly and said no, plus we'd have to go back to our own countries soon, (3 months from now).
We went on a date then back to our countries for Christmas and that was it. But I was the one who suggested we meet.
The day before, it happened all over again, we went out got a little tipsy, and he started declaring his love. It was a little silly, but he kept insisting that the wasn't that drunk (I've seen him much worse) and that he just didn't know how to say this any other way. He asked me out. I was a little taken aback. I said we'd talk about it later.
But the next morning, nothing.
I'm really sick of this cycle. We make out, then we ignore the subject. I want to believe everything he says and believe him that he's using the alcohol as a means to express his feelings. But the sensible part of me doubts it. So I asked him if we could meet up to talk about it as it was silly that we haven't ever talked about it, and he agreed.
My question is, am I silly in asking him to talk about it? Should I just leave it and have some self control around him?
I thought when you like someone you make an effort to try to be with them. He only seems to be interested in me when he's had a few.
TL;DR: | This guy only declares love when he's drunk, should I just walk away from the whole situation or find out if he's using the drink as a way to express his feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15f] am falling for my friend [16m]. It's very complicated. Please help.
POST: I had to get surgery on my finger after a freak accident a couple months ago. I asked a male acquaintance if he would carry my books for me the last two periods of the day until I could do it myself.
This went on for almost 3 weeks. We became very good friends. That's when it got more serious...
He started telling me about his stresses, his home life, and especially problems with his gf. He is currently in a committed (as much as you can be in high school) relationship with a girl I respect.
He told me recently that she doesn't worry that we are friends because we aren't compatible. I feel stupid to confess it upset me.
He keeps playing games with me. He will tickle my back or pull my hair, and will even go along with this joke that he's stalking me. We have 5 out of 7 classes together plus lunch- which basically means I see him all day. It's unbearable.
I don't want to hurt his relationship, but I don't want to be hurt.
TL;DR: | taken boy has my affections after becoming my friend, says we aren't compatible but always flirts, is confusing the hell out of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] My girlfriend [19F] always wants to be at home.
POST: Were both university students that live with our parents and have been dating for two years. For the most part things are great and we love each other a lot however since we first started dating I don't get to see her as much as I like because she always wants to be at home with her parents. This isn't just a problem with me, she barely has any friends anymore because she always turns down plans so she can be at home.
I ask her to hang out 2-3 times a week. Most of the time though she just responds that she is going to "stay at home that day". I could understand that if she never got to relax at home but the problem is she is at her house all the time since she has no hobbies, job, or friends.
Sometimes we go swimming, bowling, snowboarding or other things and she has a great time and says we should do that again, but then whenever I ask her to go do them again she turns down the idea.
Therefore usually when we do hang out we end up at either my house or her's. I wouldn't mind this too much except she doesn't like watching movies or TV, playing video games or board games. So there's nothing to do but lie around. Additionally her Parents don't allow sleep overs or staying past 9.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend always has a great time when we hang out but barely ever wants to leave her house. When we do hang out at her house she doesn't like doing anything there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Guy was a dick while I was ringing him up
POST: Well, I work at a store that sells protein, vitamins and other supplements so we usually have samples of different preworkouts, proteins, etc - we also give out free magazines.
I greeted the guy and said "hey, how's it going, man?" He ignored it and told me to search his name in the system in a very douchey way and said how he's Anthony **SENIOR**, not junior..and he usually repeats himself (he comes in fairly often) another eight times to make sure I understand because it's a difficult task to
grasp.
He then demanded and said, "give me a magazine" (once again, the tone of this guys voice just made me want to punch him. I enjoy speaking to nice people and am a genuinely kind person myself) and I asked, "what?" He said "lemme get a magazine" and, mind you, they're also directly in front of his face.
Ultimately, he asked if we had any samples and I said "NOPE, nothing good" which was a lie because we just received a whole shit ton. Fuck that guy. Why can't people just be nice? It makes everyone's day better.
TL;DR: | Guy was a douche, asked for some store samples, I said we didn't have even though we had a fuck ton...heh hehh |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I can't believe it's been one year already. Thank you for being awesome, reddit.
POST: Since a friend showed me this site, my life has noticeably changed, and you all are partially the cause. But to be sure, I'd like to thank each of my subreddits individually.
Pics: Need I say more? You always provide a laugh and are great for distracting me from my homework.
Reddit.com: My primary source of news. You guys are awesome, and if something important happens somewhere in the world, you will surely cover it.
IAmA: Never have I seen such a wonderful group of people willing to put themselves out there for people to satiate their curiosity. I have learned a lot from you all and I have a new found respect for ALL people.
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU: I hadn't heard of rage comics before coming to reddit, and now they might just be my new favorite art form. Not only is the community hilarious, but the ability for people to take little jokes and run with them is awesome. /r/Inglip was hilarious at first as a single comic and grew to 10,000 subscribers in a matter of days. Awesome.
Atheism: You guys are why I am open about my atheism. (At least as open as I can be as an atheist in Kansas). I was an atheist before I came to this website, but I didn't know it, and I couldn't hold my own in an argument. Thank you for giving me the confidence and knowledge to help stand up for what I think is right.
Minecraft: Sorry guys. Can't talk. Too busy punching trees.
Comics: This may seem a bit odd, but I now follow 7 webcomics. If it hadn't been for you, I probably would never have found Hyperbole and a Half, which is probably my second favorite website on the Internet. So thanks.
TL;DR: | You guys rock. I've enjoyed this first year, and I can't wait to see what the future holds. Thanks again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my Ex/Notex/Whateverthefuckishappening [17 F] met yesterday the first time after the breakup
POST: Hey guys!
i have a problem.
PROLOG:
about Three weeks ago my girlfriend with which i had a 11 month relationship broke up with me because she will move away,and cause of her psychological Problems and because she dont know why.
she was for about 3 month in a mental hospital until last week because she has depression and now she will move for 3 month in a Hospital in 2 other cities here in Germany and after that for 3 Month to Iceland
2 days ago i decided to have sex again with an other girl and it was really bad (physical and emotionally)
THE MEETING FROM YESTERDAY
we didnt contact each other since the breakup and she wrote me
via Facebook that she wants to meet me to discuss everything
so we met in my home and discussed a bit and she found out that i had sex with someone else because i had a teared open condom package and there where cigarette fags with red lipstick in my ashtray(i wanted to tell it her later,but whatever) after that she telled me that she also had sex a week before with a friend of her. Then i was jealous and she was also jealous but tried to act like she is not jealous (she confessed it later)
We talked about our future and she meant that she dont know but she cannot be without me and that she cant be in a relationship with me.
After that we spend the day with cuddling,having Sex and watching The X-Files and she said the whole day long that she missed this
THE PROBLEM
Now i dont have any clue how i should react to it and i could think about our future or how i could heal my jealousy, it seems that she cannot be in a relationship with me,but she also cannot be not in a relationship with me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up,met again now she cannot be with me in a relationship and cannot not be in a relationship with me and i an uncertain future |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Stuck with a used car that I am making payments on that is constantly breaking down. What should I do? Trade it in for something newer/more reliable, or continuing repairing and pay off/own the car in 3.5 more years? I don't have anyone really to ask... A bad move on my part.
POST: Hi everyone,
I bought my first non-Craigslist car, a 2005 Honda Civic SI with 79,000 miles on it, from a Honda dealer back in February 2013 for $10,000 + taxes, fees, a shitty warranty that I wish I did not purchase, etc. Everything came out to around $15,000. I put $5,000 down and financed the other $10,000 over the course of 5 years at a 10.9% interest rate. My monthly payment is around $240.
Prior to this I owned a 2003 Toyota Matrix XR which I paid cash for an owned. I should have kept this.
My Civic so far, over the past year, has cost me almost $2,500 in repairs. I've replaced the fuel pump, knock sensor (happening now), rotors, brakes, belts, rack and pinion, and the clutch now has about 107,000 miles on it and is starting to slip pretty bad. It is in the shop as we speak having the knock sensor replaced, and there is also a moaning/squeaking noise when I come out of first gear that I'm sure will be another problem. I feel like the car is going to continue breaking down and unfortunately my warranty does not cover any of this since it is considered "normal wear" on the car.
I think that money could have gone towards payments and I feel kind of dumb for even buying the car (still completely stock, but I wanted something faster than my Martix (idiot move)). My question comes to this. Should I trade it in for something newer (I have pretty good credit of about 750) or pay off the remaining $7,500 I have left and then own the car while I continue to pay for repairs?
TL;DR: | Overpaid for a car that is now costing me lots in repairs. Should I trade it in and get something newer/more reliable or continue to fix it and pay it off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your best example of beginner's luck?
POST: Could be your own beginner's luck, or beginner's luck from someone else at your expense.
For me, it was about 2 months ago. I was invited to play some poker with a friend and some of his other buddies. Up until that point, I'd never played a single hand of poker in my life but knew the hierarchy of hands and that was about it.
I turned up late and missed the beginning of the game and they'd replaced me with someone else, but I stuck around to hang out. To be honest, I was pretty pleased I wouldn't have to lose any money anyway. Eventually, as people started dropping out, a side game started while the big game went on in the next room. It was a $10 buy-in and I started playing poker for the first time in my life.
I came away with a $37 profit an hour or so later. I think the fact I wasn't experience enough to figure out strategy actually helped me. The others didn't know my style and I didn't know theirs (or mine). I made some dumb mistakes and I got really lucky on some hands, but I just used common sense and tried to weigh up my options as best I could and it worked out. I haven't played since but I'm positive it won't turn out like that next time!
TL;DR: | Played poker for first time ever, without really knowing the rules even. Turned $10 into $47 in an hour. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 21/F UPDATE. I confronted his fiancé.
POST: Link to original post.
First, I just wanted to say thank you to all that replied and sent me personal messages regarding this issue of mine. You all gave me the courage I needed to message her.
After I made the original post I gave him one more opportunity to come clean to his fiancée. I confronted him and told him that the games had to stop. Either he told her or I did. He responded that I was bluffing, a bitch, and she wouldn't believe me.
So I sent her the screenshots of our conversations, and my phone number. I told her to call me if she had any questions regarding what I sent her.
The evidence was on my side, 90% of our recent conversation were filled with "Are you sure you don't have a fiancée?" and him denying it and calling her *crazy*, *obsessed*, and that she needed to *let go*.
I took a huge risk giving her my number. But the news I gave her needed to be discussed over the phone or in person. She called me an hour later. I expected her to be angry with me, possibly cuss me out. Call me a whore perhaps but she didn't. She cried for a long time and when she was able to speak she thanked me.
We talked for awhile about their relationship and about how she caught him talking to another girl in the past but let that one slide for the sake of her childern. This apparently was the icing on the cake. She added me on Facebook and when she broke up with him she went on Facebook and wrote about how she almost made the biggest mistake of her life. She personally tagged me and thanked me again that status. Felt a little weird about that but I rolled with it.
It wasn't two hours after that status was posted his messaged me and called me a stupid cunt. I was delusional and he never liked me. I ruined his relationship.. A load of bullshit. I sent her those messages and we laughed about it.
We may have met through weird circumstances but I may have made a new friend.
I don't regret telling her one bit, she seems like a wonderful person and she didn't deserve what he was doing to her.
TL;DR: | Guy tried cheating with me. Sent screenshots to his fiancée, she was thankful that I told her. We bonded over his misery. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [21 F] of 3 years broke up with me [22 M] 3 weeks into long distance via text.
POST: So my girlfriend on and off for 3 years is spending the summer studying abroad while I'm working. Before she left I broke up with her because she chose studying abroad and then moving back with her parents after (halfway across the world) over staying with me. She begged and pleaded to give long distance a chance; and I was convinced it could work so we got back together. This was 3 weeks ago. Last night, she breaks up with me with a few brief texts. On a Saturday night. In shock, I reply back flippantly and that was that. It's been a day and as I've been stewing it's making me more and more upset. Just the DAY before, she was telling me how she loved me and what not.
I can only assume she either cheated or is suddenly caught up in the fervor of partying abroad and wants to sleep around. Either way, it was a cold cold way to end a 3 year relationship. I had no idea she was that kind of person; I really never saw it coming. Should I bother finding out what went wrong, what the situation is?
TL;DR: | GF of 3 years studying/traveling abroad abruptly breaks up with me after convincing me we could make long distance work. Should I try to get some closure out of the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I [22M] am going to break up with my girlfriend [20] today and I am expecting an animated reaction
POST: We have been dating for two years and things have been on and off good and bad. Currently they are good, as in the past 1 week, but I would rather end the relationship now instead of when we are fighting. I have thought about this deeply and finally i am settled on ending this.
The problem is that she thinks I am "the one" and is convinced that we will be together forever. Whenever there is a hint of a suggestion that I have some kind of doubt, her emotions change completely and she accuses me of not loving her. I "broke up" with her about one year ago and she hyperventilated and cried for hours. I succumbed to her reaction and continued dating her and things got better. I am now ready to leave this relationship, but i expect the same reaction from her, if not worse. I expect to be yelled at, accused of not loving her, accused of lying, her having an anxiety attack. I don't expect things to be physical, so there is no physical danger.
Any tips on how to 1. "ease" the bad news, and 2. handle her reaction?
TL;DR: | Breaking up today with girlfriend of 2 years. History of animated reaction when relationship does not go well. How do I ease her suffering and handle her (almost) inevitable reaction? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by pissing on my friend at an EDM festival [NSFW-ish]
POST: This wasn't today but ill post about it anyways. Last saturday, I was at this EDM festival called Waterzonic with a few mates. I was having a great time, there was water splashing everywhere, I was drinking the whole night and getting high in the parking lot. By around 10 pm I was piss drunk, I was hooking up with this cute girl, seems like a great night so far. Then my drunk brain thought it would be funny to piss on my friend. So I unzipped by shorts and whipped out my donger and started pissing on my friend a little. He got a bit pissed and started punching me in return. I was trying to block his punches cos he was drunk and was punching pretty hard. After he stopped, I was complaining about the punches and shit then I went back to raving and grinding with the girl I was hooking up with. The thing is that I forgot to put my donger back in my shorts so he was raving with me. All my mates were laughing, the girl I was with turned around and laughed too but I was too drunk to care and continued for a while until 10-15 minutes later this stranger came up with me and pointed at my donger. I shoved it back in whilst everyone was still laughing. Again I was too drunk to give a fuck so I just raved on. The girl was cool with it and stayed with me still. But the thing is that my donger was flying and raving with me when probably everyone around saw it.
TL;DR: | Pissed on my friend at a concert, got a few punches and forgot to put my dick away. Raved with my dick out for 10-15 minutes. A lot of people saw and laughed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: My 13 year old brother killed our bird out of anger. What can we do to help him?
POST: Here's how it happened:
My mother was scolding him for his mess and told him to do fold some towels. Before there are any suspicions, my mom wasn't scolding him in a demeaning or abusing way; she is just tired of telling him over and over again to pick up after himself. Next thing I hear, he is calling for me from our family room and tells me our sun conure is "sick". When I get to the birdcage I see that our bird is lying on the top of the cage, bleeding from his nose, and clearly struggling to breathe. I ask my brother what happened and he tells me the bird "fell from his cage". I call desperately for my mom and she tells me he is dying. The next two minutes are complete agony as I watch my bird, *who has been one of my best friends for the last 11 years*, die by suffocating on his blood. At this point I'm in tears, and I ask my brother exactly what happened since there is no way falling from his cage would have caused such severe injuries. He finally confesses that he smacked the bird with a towel. There was no point in asking 'why' since he does this kind of stuff all the time.
Our dilemma:
My family and I don't know what to do with our brother anymore. He is an angry middle schooler and has a history of being somewhat violent (i.e., throwing books at his classmates for making fun of him), but this is an entirely new low for him. He has talked to the school counselor and has had regular sessions with a therapist, but I feel they are useless. His counselors have always given him the benefit of the doubt and held us responsible for his behavior. This troubles me as it removes any responsibility or sense of remorse for his actions. Case in point, when my mom talked to him about what he did he said that "it wasn't his fault he inherited his dad's temper". My bird did not deserve to die this way, and I fear that his anger problem could get worse. I will continue to follow his counselors advice and try to understand him, but it's difficult when he rejects advice and gets visibly frustrated when my mom or dad talk to him.
TL;DR: | My bird didn't deserve to die in such a gruesome way. What can we do to help my brother control his anger and become responsible for his actions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [m24] Arranged a date and it was postponed. Am I wasting my time?
POST: A few weeks ago I met a girl, got a kiss in, got her number and arranged to meet up with her. The day before I was supposed to see her, I realised I'd neglected to give/ask for a time so I messaged her to find out.
Got a reply hours later asking if it's ok to postpone because she had an exam she needed to study for the next week. I said sure, let me know when you're free and she said she had exams for another couple of weeks (now finished)
On Saturday night, I was out and texted her saying if she's in the city we should catch up. She said she was staying in, maybe next week. Replied to say ok, will arrange something during the week.
That's where I am now. I will arrange something during the week but does this seem like a waste of time?
What's confusing me is the list of possible outcomes in my head when I messaged her:
1. no reply
2. no
3. yes
4. no, but... (which is what I got)
If she wasn't interested, would she bother replying or saying no, but...
TL;DR: | met girl, arranged date, postponed, attempted to arrange again and was told, no, what about next week? Wasting my time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my ex-something [25 M] of 7 months, its been a year, why did this new information hit me so hard?
POST: I dated this guy for 7 months who never called me his gf but would say he loved me and wanted to be exclusive. Caught him "cheating" and I dumped him. He begged and cried but I did not give in as much as I wanted to. Now a year later I am in a great relationship and love him to bits but by my own foolishness I reinstated my facebook and looked my ex up. He isn't "in a relationship" but the girl he cheated with was all over it. I almost started crying and wanted to punch something, I blocked him immediately so I couldn't snoop anymore and closed my laptop.
Now he would not add me on fb when we dated and of course I know he never really cared for me because of all the now obvious signs. What I don't get is why this hurt so much, it felt like someone punched me right in the chest. It's been a year since we broke up, I have an amazing boyfriend (who actually lets me call him that.)
I've been thinking back and about a month ago he texted me out of the blue saying he had dreamed about me and wanted to know how I was (wtf.) He is a complete jerk and I am glad we are no longer together and as I am writing this the hurt and need I felt to cry are subsiding. I guess i'd just like to know why it hurt so bad and is it normal? Do I still have feelings for him? I love my boyfriend and would never leave him. Has anyone else gone through this?
TL;DR: | Saw my ex's fb and he's public about the girl he cheated on me with. It hurt a lot even though I have a boyfriend I love now. Anyone else deal with this type of thing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with a girl I kissed [15 F] about a week ago, do I want a relationship with her?
POST: Hello folks,
Let's jump right in. I kissed this girl at a party a week ago. I really fancied her and the day before I really made clear at another party that I liked her. It was the first kiss for both of us, bit misplaced it felt like but it was alright. Before the kiss there was a bit of flirting and we were becoming pretty close friends.
Do I want a relationship with her? I feel like that asking myself that automatically gives an answer (that I do not). She has send signals that she wants to date a bit. So I asked her to do so, but also mainly because friends are pushing me to. I don't feel like I love her, and don't really know if I have to. Maybe that is supposed to come with the dating. I am new to all this and don't really know how relationships work. Also I am having fear of commitment (I think), this because I have had a rough time with losing people around me that I have loved so dearly. Maybe it is not the right time for me to get into a relationship if I am having these issues.
All in all I am a bit confused, don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings and also don't want her out of my life.
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | I kissed this girl I like, don't have strongest feelings for her. Also got fear of commitment (I think) should I start dating her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by saying "anal cakes"
POST: I was in my grade 11 English class today and the girl beside me said
"Hey does this eraser smell like cotton candy to you?"
So I took a good whiff and it smells like a urinal cake. So I tell her that and my English teacher overhears and says
"What smells like a urinal cake??"
So I tell him about the eraser and he says
"No I have a cold. Can't smell anything"
To which my brain replies
"Don't worry. You'll smell it. Its a very penetrative anal cake!"
Silence.
Every eye in the room and the lizard in the tank is focused on me.. All I can think to say is
"Anal as in....annoying.. Penetratingly annoying"
TL;DR: | found an eraser that smelled like a urinal cake. Freudian slipped it to anal cake for my English teacher. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20F] boyfriend [21M] likes to piss me off?
POST: So I'm currently pregnant so its possible I'm reading too much into this but he seems to enjoy making me angry? For example, today we were talking and his best friend has recently started dating a girl that he has a history with. Even though she is dating his friend and we're about to have a baby she is still over him and has tried to hook up with him in the past months. He's told her no but it hasn't stopped her from trying. Recently she's backed off a little and is trying to be more of a friend to him and he says that I need to just "get over it and get along with her." I don't start fights with her or yell at her I just refuse to be her friend or be around her as I have no desire to keep her company. He mentioned that she invited him to come to some child expo with her (while I'm at work) and he said he didn't want to go without me (for fear that she would try something). And I said that was probably for the best because it would've upset me if he went. Then he responded and said that made him want to go with her just to piss me off because I have no right to get upset. I don't understand why he would want to do something like that to intentionally hurt me. It wasn't like I lost it and "forbid" him from going, I just said it would upset me. Am I overreacting and shouldn't have said that or is he just being an asshole because with my hormones I cant tell anymore.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wants to go to an expo without me, but with a girl he has a history with after I tell him it will upset me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my GF [21 M/F] of 5 months, says "I love you" to me, I feel bad cause I never say it back.
POST: My GF and I have been dating for 5 months now. We were friends for a few months before that. Initially she got a crush on me, and asked me out. The first month or two we dated, our relationship wasn't that great tbh. Mainly because I didn't treat her like a girlfriend. I'd leave and go home after we fucked, showed up over an hour late to our first date, ditch her during out hangouts to go get high with my friends, etc... we had some good times, but overall I felt nothing towards her so I was kind of an asshole.
After some time though, I started to like her and act a lot better and more like her boyfriend and we started having even more fun, and she started to REALLY like me, I know cause she'd tell me that she "really really really liked me" multiple times, and that "I was the best guy she ever dated"
Heres the thing though, she told me she "loves me" but she said that she wasn't "in love" with me. I didn't know how to react so I was just like "ok". But now she always says "I love you" before we go to sleep, or I leave or something.
I never say it back because I still only kinda like her, I'm no where close to feeling like I love her or being able to say it back to her, and honestly, I feel kinda bad about it. I'm afraid that she expects me to say it back sometime soon, and I know that its not gonna come for a while, and I don't wanna hurt her, but everytime she says it I just kiss her or awkwardly nod my head....how should I handle this? Do you think I should tell her to stop saying it to me until I feel I'm ready to say it back, or should I just keep doing what I'm doing?
TL;DR: | My GF always tells me she loves me, I can't say it back and I know I wont for a long time. How do I handle this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by breaking up with the best thing that's ever happened to me.
POST: My boyfriend cheated on me a couple months ago and I found out right before Christmas. We had an unspoken break up and I thought that was the end of it.
Last Thursday we both ended up at the same bar where he ended up getting in a fight with a boy for touching me in a way that bothered him. I got scared and embarrassed so I left. A couple hours later he found his way back to my dorm where he cried to me and poured his heart out. We spent the next 4 hours together crying until we fell asleep. And i decided to give him a second chance.
This past Thursday I went to a party with my cousin where I watched her cheat on her boyfriend that she claims to be in love with. This sent me over the edge and my drunk mind decided that if she was capable of cheating then I can't trust anybody. Stupid I know. So I went home and called my boyfriend over at 2am and ended it. I told him I wasn't mad and he didn't do anything wrong. It was a very civil break up and we spent about 2 hours just talking and joking around like we always did.
Now I regret that decision more than anything. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I've just been drinking myself into a coma every night since then. I keep trying to text him but he won't answer. I know I hurt him, but I think I hurt myself even more.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend cheated in me. He apologized and so I took him back. I decided to break up with him when I was drunk and now I regret it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (30/f) turned down a friend (29/m) who asked me out, but we remained friends. Now he's (innocently) ruining my attempts to meet/hang out with other guys. Advice?
POST: A good friend of mine asked me out recently, but I made it clear that I did not have romantic feelings for him and would like to remain friends. He seemed to understand, handled it well, and we remained good friends.
The thing is, he has basically become my unwelcome "guardian angel." For example, the other night we were at a bar with a group of our friends, and any time I started to talk to a guy he was right there, including when I would go outside for a cigarette with another guy (he doesn't smoke). This happened throughout the night, and has happened at other bar outings.
He's a very kind guy, if a bit socially clueless sometimes, so I don't think it's malicious. I also know that I need to talk to him, but I'm having trouble figuring out how to handle this tactfully and without making him feel bad. What should I say to him?
TL;DR: | Good friend asked me out, I turned him down. We remained friends, but now he's cockblocking (twatswatting?) me. How do I handle this tactfully? |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Anyone else feel a lack of clear direction? How does /getmotivated choose?
POST: Okay, physical fitness and diet are excellent! No argument, these are wonderful things to strive for.
The problem that I have been experiencing is this: my brain is constantly switching between dreams, and each one feels as genuine and real as the other. I don't have 10 lifetimes to try them all, especially since I believe in the virtues of passion and mastery and focus. All these videos and quotes promote a simple (and excellent) message of doing what you love and working insanely hard at it.
Perhaps it's because of the constant exposure to new information and ideas (TED Talks, twitter, etc.) and inspirational videos from a wide variety of people, but I keep beating myself up trying to figure out what to focus on and it's starting to drive me crazy.
* Teach
* Learn to code.
* Promote childhood learning of programming.
* Learning Japanese
* Hone my skills at drawing.
* Getting in shape. Learning a martial art.
* Make video games that push forward the medium.
* Improving education in the deep south where I grew up.
* Become and animator or storyboard artist for Pixar.
* Get involved in technology that helps humanity.
to name a few...
Can anyone else relate to this? Passion and motivation are not the issue for me, it's the feeling of an enormous amount of different options, and so I keep running through this loop of thought:
* I don't want to spend my life sitting at a computer, I want to use my body and encourage others to use their bodies and form real human connections.
* Physical fitness only effects me, and technology and sociology is where it's at for helping the world.
TL;DR: | I'm frustrated with wanting to commit my life to something, but having to choose between a life at a computer screen or a life of physical activity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: my boyfriend [28m] of 7mo. has a wandering eye and tends to flirt with girls in front of me [23f]
POST: my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. we both love each other very much and have talked about marriage/moving in/ect (he is very amazing besides these short comings) but I am get really uncomfortable and doubt him because he looks at girls all the time in front of me and is very obvious about it (double take) he has also tends to flirt with girls frequently in front of me. during these times he treats me like I don't exist. he doesn't seem to understand why I'm upset about it. I know men naturally look at other women. but I still find these actions unacceptable and so disrespectful. it is really taking a toll on the way I feel about myself. I don't really know what to do.
we have talked about it a few times. he's promised to be more aware of his actions and make changes to make me feel better. I haven't really seen much of a change.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend likes to look and flirt with other girls in front of me. I feel like I will end the relationship over this if it continues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I cope with being ugly? It's making life so hard
POST: I'm posting this because I feel like crap. I am really just trying to reach out for help so I am going to try here.
(Paragraph describing appearance removed for privacy)
I fake confidence really well. I can hold a conversation decently well and can make people laugh. I feel as though I have a good personality. No matter how funny or confident I am when talking to a girl she is never interested. I don't know how to improve. **I know the only thing I can do is have a good personality, but I already do.** I am always joking and happy with people and never show my depression. I've even been told I am fun to hang out with by the few people that actually hangout with me.
I crave attention from a girl so bad but it will never happen. No matter how good my personality is I will never find someone who is mutually attracted to me as I am with them. It's so hard see my "friends" getting attention from girls, invited to parties, being social and popular, having an actual use for facebook, and and generally living there lives. I don't even know if I'm going to go to my own prom. **I feel like I've just been left behind. Forgotten by the world.
TL;DR: | I feel like my life is in shambles because of how I look. I have a good personality but my looks turn people away. I don't know what to do! |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (21,M) need help getting a girl (22) who used to like me interested again...
POST: Without getting into too much detail.. I (21, M) have recently started messaging this girl (22) i knew from high school, and it seemed to be going some where but a couple bad decisions on my part and me not being honest enough with my replies have lead me into a rut of sorts. She seems to have lost her interest in messaging me and only replies in response to what I say or have asked her. How do I get from that to a position where I can ask her out?
Fun Facts:
* She sort of asked me out in high school but i rejected respectfully, because i was close to someone at the time
* I used to go out with her best friend
* She is more outgoing than I am
* She usually dates older people, and I am a year younger than her
* Several things have happened these past few years and have decreased my mojo significantly.. but there are signs of it returning
I hope that is enough info to make a sort of clear picture.
I would really appreciate any suggestions or comments
TL;DR: | I've been trying to ask a girl out but have seemed to have missed my chance and lost her interest. How can I get her interest back and ask her out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 24M in long distance relationship with 23F not sure i can do it anymore
POST: So the short version is we met online and hit it off the first 3 months we skyped everyday and texted all the time. These last two months have had 3 major fights and one mini breakup. I dont know what to do. In terms of interests and understanding each other its 10/10 but lately its been bad. She has a mental illness and it can get bad but weve dealt with it before. Lately she has become more withdrawn and i dont think i feel the same way anymore. Logically we are a perfect match but after 2 months of me trying to keep this going and receiving no responses and no communication i just dont know. Its even further complicayed because im moving to asia for a 2 year contract. Please help.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship with mentally ill gf who seems a perfect match now feels draining and a burden. I dont know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Asking for 1 year old bed time and nap advice
POST: Our daughter, just over 1 year old, won't go to sleep in her crib. She'll sleep in it for a couple of hours if my wife nurses her and cuddles her until she falls asleep. Because she won't stay asleep in the crib, we've resorted to co sleeping with her for both naps and bedtime. I'm a stay at home dad, and can get her to nap in our bed during, but have to fight with her most of the time to get her to finally relax and stop getting up and trying to explore. In our bed, she'll sleep through the night, which is why we've resorted to co sleeping. The main problem at this point, is that even though there's enough room in bed for the 3 of us, my wife and I don't sleep as well because of partner disturbance, and having to be extra careful not to disturb our precious time bomb. I've ended up sleeping on a spare bed outside of the room. We know we need to get her to sleep alone in her crib, but every time we try, it results in sleepless nights for all 3 of us, and by 3 or 4 in the morning, the little one ends up in bed anyway.
We've had suggestions to put the crib in a different room, let her cry and fuss, and we're willing to try that, but I was wondering if anyone here has had a similar circumstance and could offer some advice.
TL;DR: | Can't get 1 year old to sleep unless she falls asleep next to one of her parents. Looking for advice other than cry it out (unless you have a super secret cry it out strategy) |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I don't know how to achieve my financial goals. Please advise...
POST: Hey there r/personalfinance!
I'm a 32 M with an associate's degree working as a server in an upscale restaurant. I just started about a month ago and it's a really great gig and I feel I'm getting really good at it, but I'm only pulling down about $250 a week because summer is our slow season. My co-workers tell me that from October to May I can expect about $500 - $800 per week depending on the shifts I get. I'm also eligible for the company 401k starting in October.
After some thought I've realized that a long term goal I have is to move back to my home town, or a town like the one I grew up in. Problem is, houses in that area go for anywhere between 350 - 750k (right up to a million). I don't really want to get into managing a restaurant because I don't like the work load/salary trade off. I'm willing to work my butt off, but I don't know if the service industry fits my 5-10 year goals.
What's more so, I am completely debt free and hesitant to go back to school unless it's for something considered a pretty safe bet. I don't have a lot of people in my life who are older and wiser than me, and so I'm not sure how to plan out my next career move. I was thinking about saving money and heading back to community college, but I have no idea what for.
I guess I'm posting this because I'm hoping to find someone who has been in a similar situation and come out the other side. I want to start looking for professionals to network with in my community to get input and contacts, but again, I don't really know how. Has anyone here done something similar to what I'm trying to do? Again, I'm willing to work hard for a few years to achieve my goals, I just don't want to compound my issues with student debt if I don't have to.
I should mention I also have retail management experience and I am planning on being functionally fluent in Spanish by December.
Any advice is truly appreciated. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Trying to develop a long term game plan to move back to the affluent neighborhood I grew up in, but can't see how as a server. Need advice on where to make my next career move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, What Is One Thing That You Deem Absolutely Necessary in Your Life That, If Others Don't Do It/Use It, You Can't Imagine How They Survive Day To Day? I'll Start.
POST: MUSIC. For the love of all that is holy, music. I mean, I can't understand when I hear people say they only listen to what's on the radio or they don't buy/download any kind of music they like. Further, there's also people who just get singles from artists that are on the radio and never discover the other tracks these people release. I listen to music every single day and I can't begin to describe the countless situations in which it has made my life better, saved me from a dark place or inspired me to do something great. Music is the one thing I could never give up and I enjoy almost every kind that's out there. I can't stop searching for new music and cataloging my library so I'll always be able to enjoy the greatest artists that have shared their talents with the world. I feel like if you don't listen to different kinds of music or hear legends like Bob Marley, Ray Charles, Michael Jackson, The Eagles, Elton John, etc. then you're missing out on a huge part of your life on this planet. I can't be alone in this and I'm sure there are others who have something besides this that they feel is crucial for everyone to experience.
TL;DR: | Music is a massive part of my life, I can't understand how people can live without enjoying the wonderful artists from throughout history. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Wandering Around Town With Drunk Girls
POST: Last night I went to a party with lots of drinking and possibly drugs. Considering the fact that most people there drinking were underage, I wasn't so keen to be there. After about 45 minutes, a mom of a kid who was EXTREMELY drunk showed up along with our schools consuler. Many of us intoxicated, this was scary and the word that the cops were coming got around. Everyone left running and these two VERY drunk girls grab onto me and tell us we have to help them. Having no cars, we had to wander around town and into parks trying to keep these girls upright. Me and my friend ended up baby sitting them for three hours. We saw so many cops, they puked everywhere. Overall it was a shitty night. I'm mostly writing this on their behalf. Both have VERY strict parents and I'm pretty sure they got in huge trouble.
TL;DR: | Me and my friend babysat extremely drunk girls for 3 hours when we could have had a VERY good time. They both got in serious trouble for underage drinking. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: How much to keep liquid for grad school?
POST: I am applying to grad school for fall 2016 and I want to make sure I am being as smart with my money as possible.
Right now I currently have about $30k sitting in my savings account, (I know, I know, that's why I'm here asking!) about $7k in Vanguard index funds that I contribute ~$1000 to over the course of each year, and I just became eligible to get matching contributions to my 403(b) at my job. (They match 5% if I contribute 3% or more)
I've wanted to keep a lot of my funds liquid because I'm not sure what the future will hold. Ideally I will get into a fully funded phd program and get a 25k/year or so stipend, but there is a chance I will do an in-state not-funded masters first. I still have enough in my college fund to cover the pretty inexpensive in-state tuition for 4 semesters, but I would either have to have enough savings to live on for 2 years, or take out loans.
So now the question is how much I should contribute to the 403(b). On one hand, I could max it out ($16,500) and not feel a thing even though I only make 30k pretax at that job, because I could just start supplementing my significantly reduced paycheck with savings. Or I could throw in like 5-7k just to get retirement savings started, but still keep more liquid. When I go to grad school, I can either keep it in the 403(b) or roll it over to an IRA.
I know having 30k in savings is not the best use of that money, but will the compound interest on putting a big chunk of it in the 403(b) outweigh potentially having to take out loans for grad school?
TL;DR: | I have 30k in savings. How much should I invest (and where) versus leave liquid in case I need to support my self for 2 years while in grad school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anybody else like things just because they don't like them?
POST: Not totally sure how to explain it, but I usually find myself choosing one thing over another because I don't like it, maybe it's ugly duckling syndrome (which I just made up) but I sort of think of it in a way that I can't really put into words.
I will generally grow to like anything over time with frequent exposure, when I was younger for example I liked Pokemon Blue because Red was an ugly colour, and I would generally only like the "flawless" actor/resse/s, but with time I would now choose Red, and I think [Toby Kebbel] is a very handsome looking dude.
Does anybody else get this? I imagine these things as being much more mentally stimulating because they're not so "easy to swallow", like [Death Cab for Cutie] where I heard it and it just slid right into my stomach where I promptly digested it and shat it back out without ever really noticing.
If it exists, is there a name for it? While I imagine there's parallels between this and whatever the whole "indiescenealternative" stuff that cycles around, it's not like that, I sound biased because I openly hate that whole thing, but in a way that's too intense to actually like it for that reason.
I don't really think I'm a masochist either :D
TL;DR: | Fuck off if you can't read 250 words then your attention span is too short and you rely too heavily on instant rewards, which are not as good as rewards you get from investing in something and seeing a return. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why do we have to pay for Internet usage?
POST: The Internet is going to be there whether we use it or not. It's not a utility like water is(the water company distributes the water and you buy it from them) and it's self-managed(websites are run by the companies that set them up, they gain money either by subscription fees or ads). I can understand a fee for setup, but why pay for data allowance? If it's to keep the satellites up, surely the money from phone services should take care of that. If it's for maintenance and repair of the lines, the phone thing should work on that too right? Why should we have to pay for something that technically, no-one owns?
TL;DR: | the Internet is like oxygen, no-one holds a claim to it and it's always going to be there. Why isn't data allowance free? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do you vividly remember your first experience with the internet?
POST: Mine was about 17 years ago now, I was in grade three and had this fascination with sharks. My teacher decided to send me down to the library so I could pursue my research. The librarian sat me down in front of the computer and opened up Internet Explorer.
Now, I don't come from a well-off family, and at the time we didn't even have a computer at home so I was a little in over my head. She told me to type what I want into the address bar and fucking left me.
So me being next to clueless typed in something like, "Information about sharks and blah blah ocean killers" into the address bar and of course it didn't work. I ended up saying the grade three equivalent of "fuck this" and went back to class.
TL;DR: | Librarian threw me on the computer with little instruction and I got pissed off and left. Do you remember losing your internet virginity? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [24 F] have been dating for 6 months and still no sex because she is a virgin
POST: Details are important to get a good understanding for guidance thank you very much for reading.
I'm a 24 year old male going to be 25 soon and my girlfriend is the same age as me. I met her 6 months ago and is she is the total package. Smart, sexy, career driven, etc. My friends are all super jealous and my parents and sister love her and the feeling is mutual with her family. I've been through a lot of bad tumultuous relationships in the past and this one is a lot more relaxing and the trust is there. Here's the catch. She's a VIRGIN and I knew that on the 2nd date so its not like I was uninformed and got bait and switched. Its just so rare to find a smoking hot virgin with the total package (in my eyes) and happens to also be the same ethnicity as me (Greek) which definitely is another super plus. She is wife material.
But 6 months and still no sex. She gives me oral though but our relationship lacks that crazy passion and I am constantly tempted to cheat not because I don't love her but because what I want she is not willing to give (at least not in the last 6 months).
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Dating super sexy smart giri has total package but is a virgin and we haven't had sex in 6 months. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Really need advice regarding single parenting / joint custody
POST: Me and my Gf have been together for over 5 years, we have recently had a Son who is now 6 months old. First off I don't want to pose this question to r/relationships because all I got was to try couples therapy and when I even suggest that we need a mediator she gets defensive, takes offence to the idea.
We are both extremely stressed with each other , 24/7 fighting . I feel as though this will always continue because arguing over almost any issue was a constant even before our Son was born.
I'm considering that this relationship is a lost cause but I love them both and do not know what to do going forward. Is he too young to subject this too ? financially we depend heavily on one another and most of are finances are joined.
If anyone who has a had a similar situation could share some advice , I know my son will be loved no matter what, I just don't know where to go from here or if there is ever a right time to talk about it . Was considering trying a break to feel out how we both do individually. Thanks I can answer what I can!
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I fight constantly, have a 6 month old, I need to be happy and feel as though the relationship could be over . How can I deal with this and when? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23m) need some advice on breaking up with my gf(24f) of 2 years
POST: I've been on the fence about this but have decided its something I have to do.
We have discussed most of our issues to some length over the past year or so but I don't believe she finds them as problematic as I do.
This will be the first serious relationship I will have to end and don't really know how to go about it. Particularly before and after (i have a fair idea of what I should say during). I'm unsure how to handle the "before" because I don't think she will have much warning I do t want it to be a surprise bit at the same time I feel our relationship should be indicative of itself but my friends and family have told me they don't think she will see it coming at all. The "after" I think is tricky because we met in university and she didn't have any close friends until I pulled her in to my group of friends, when I leave I believe they will all take my side and she'll have no one. I also don't know what to do in terms of no contact.
I still care about her a great deal and want this to go as smooth as possible.
Issues: (you can skip this if its unnecessary I know its getting lengthy)
She wants to get married and start a family asap... And I want to focus on my career and getting my life on track, I'm not sure if we're even right together to be married. sometimes I think she's so set on getting married it blinds her to our relationship issues. As far as my career goes I plan to open my own engineering firm and this takes a lot of capital which I don't think could be feasible with the lifestyle she wants.
She is very argumentative, little things normally, I pick my battles but lately I haven't had the patience.
Our sex drives are polar opposites, basically the passion has been gone for over a year now and she only does it to placate me... Which is not so much emasculating as it is infuriating.
TL;DR: | girlfriend and I have grown apart and i need advice in ending it, should I give her more of a warning and what do i do after with mutual friends etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to give my number to a guy
POST: So this actually happened two years ago when i was a sophomore in high school but I thought why not share it.
So my friends and I were standing in the commons of my school and I always had a crush on this one guy that was in the commons as well. Cue my friends with great ideas; "You should give him your number!" After discussing how I would give it to him we decided that it would be cute if I asked him if I could give him something then write my number on his hand. Cute right?...wrong. I ended up walking up to him and asking him and then going to grab his hand to write my number on it. He jerked his hand away from me and goes "no" with a stern look on his face. For a good awkward 30 seconds I tried to decide what to do. I ended up kinda mumbling "okay" and walked away defeated. To make it worse he was in a huge group with his friends. Now my friends and I laugh about it but it was probably one of the most awkward moments of my life.
TL;DR: | Tried to give my number to a guy by writing it on his hand, he jerked his hand away and said no, awkwardly said okay and walked away |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 / F] with my [18 / F] sister. I found something out and I am not sure what to do...
POST: Backstory: I come from a pretty religious home. I have one sister, who doesn't id with any religion, specifically. She is a VERY private person and doesn't really tell us much about her feelings/ boyfriend/ personal stances. My parents raised us to follow rules of no underage drinking, no sex before marriage, etc. This comes into play later.
So, a few days ago I was helping my sister find her phone. She was out of the house, and was making sure she left it at home. (called me from another phone) I found it, and saw she had a few messages on it. I assumed these to be from her texting her phone to find it, so i opened her phone to reply.
The phone opened upon messages of her and her boyfriend, and long story short, they implied that they have been having sex.
I realize it's her body, her relationship, and probably NONE of my business to have snooped and found this out. But I love my sister, and I have a few concerns. One of them being, I feel like my mother should know about this. My mom has always told us if we ever did decide to do anything like this, to come to her. My mom is super supportive and loves us both dearly. Also, my sister is still living in their house, so I feel like their rules also still apply.
I know my mom would want my sister to be safe, and would want to know about this. I am a bit torn. I love my sister very much and really want to let her know that I am here for her if she needs to talk about anything.
I believe my sister is on BC ( for acne/period related reasons). This is her first and only boyfriend. I just want to make sure she knows the risks and is being safe. How should I approach this to minimize damage in any relationships? Should I just pretend I never saw this?
TL;DR: | found out sister is having sex with bf, have religious parents. Feel like they should know, but I am torn. help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Hospital Bills, they keep sending me new bills and charges. Am I actually legally responsible?
POST: Hey lawyers and legal experts of reddit,
So basically my child had a surgery on an ankle, I got an estimate for my portion of the procedure for $900. Obviously physicians orders and actual operating time can adjust that and they came back with $1000 actual cost. After setting up a payment plan with them I received a new bill with an additional amount charged and even a bill from a separate group for Anesthesia. My insurance company keeps paying part of these charges. ***Am I liable to pay an adjusted bill after all the costs were already calculated and billed?*** I have a feeling that because the hospital is the only one for children and they must take uninsured patients they realized that I have insurance and money so they are trying to squeeze out the most of it. Please help me!
TL;DR: | the hospital sent me one bill, I set up a payment plan, now they are sending me a higher bill for no apparent reason |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Caught boyfriend [M25] in the act this morning. Extremely embarrassed. What can I [F26] do?
POST: One year relationship.
So I stayed the night at my boyfriend's last night and woke up this morning with the great idea of going to the bakery for breakfast. I wanted to be cute and surprise him with donuts before he woke up.
Well, I ended up leaving and coming back within 20 minutes. When I got back to his place, I went to the bedroom to wake him up and that's when I walked in on him. He had his laptop open and was masturbating to a bikini pic of me from this summer. Needless to say, he was extremely embarrassed and wouldn't even look at me when we were eating breakfast. lol.
I feel bad. I told him it was totally fine, but things have been a little awkward today. Has anyone else gone through this before? What can I do to fix this?
TL;DR: | Caught boyfriend [M25] masturbating to a picture of me [F26] and now he seems pretty embarrassed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] only value romantic relationships. Friendships don't make me happy.
POST: I feel really, really sad when I'm single. And over the moon happy when I'm in love and have a boyfriend.
Now that I'm single (it's been about 7 weeks), I find myself crying almost everyday. I've been forcing myself to go out and be social but ONLY because I'm hoping to meet someone. Friendships just do not give me the joy that a romantic partner does.
I like time with my family too (and I'm very close with my mom, see her a lot), but I'm just so badly seeking a BF, and feel super lonely and sad when I don't have one.
I workout in a group fitness class 3 times a week in the mornings before work. I thought that would keep me happy, but it hasn't. I keep busy. I just... want a bf so badly, and feel very sad without one... and even if I occupy free time with friends and social activities, I go back home feeling sad because I don't have a SO.
Is this normal?
TL;DR: | I just value time with romantic SO, not friendships. I just hangout with friends and be social in hopes of bumping into a guy who could potentially be my next SO. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23M] met [23F] on Tinder. Been talking non-stop for three weeks. How do I go about sorting a meet up out?
POST: After coming out of a long-term relationship I thought I would try and get myself back in the game.
A friend recommended Tinder, so I thought why not? Ended up matching with a girl about half an hour away and we hit it off really well. We've got a lot in common in terms of music tastes and travelling and the like.
After talking for two weeks in Tinder she gave me her number and we've continued to speak via text message.
She has told me that she would like to meet up and we've been flirting on and off too. She said the other night that if she didn't want to speak to me she wouldn't and that I'm now stuck with her. I told her she wouldn't be a bad person to be stuck with, and she said I'm not too bad myself - the standard lines etc.
How can I get a meet up locked down. We've said a couple of times that we would like to meet up but haven't organised anything yet - even just for a drink or something like that. She works 13 hour shifts three days a week and I work 9-5 monday to friday.
Do I leave her to make the move and suggest a proper time to meet up, or do I keep making the suggestion?
TL;DR: | Met a girl on Tinder. Have a lot of shared interests. Spoken every day for last three weeks. Need to sort out a meet up - do I leave it to her or do I keep asking? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (35/F) distance myself from a friend (35/M) I have a crush on?
POST: Throwaway because my husband knows my username. I'm pretty sure I'm over thinking this situation but thought some outside opinions would be useful.
I've been friends with Eric since high school. He's a genuinely great person. We have always just kind of clicked, our first couple of years in college in particular he was one of my best friends. I always had a HUGE crush on him, but he always had a girlfriend so I never acted on it. Crush feels kind of inadequate describing it to be honest, I think I was as close to being in love with him as you can be with someone you don't actually have a romantic relationship with. After college I moved out of state and we lost touch, I met my husband and we have been together almost 10 years and have three kids. We have a wonderful relationship.
About a year ago we moved back to my hometown together and I've gradually started reconnecting with some high school friends, including Eric. He is married now and we double date and all have a great time together. He has a lot in common with my husband, including some hobbies that I don't share with them, so they are starting to form a genuine friendship outside of my friendship with him.
The problem I'm having is that when I hang out with Eric I still feel like I have a crush on him. We just get along so well, we didn't talk for 8 years but have been able to pick right back up when we left off. I feel guilty about this sometimes, like it's disrespectful to my husband (although nothing remotely inappropriate has ever happened, I would never risk my relationship with my husband). I am a little worried that talking to my husband about it might make it awkward between him and Eric, and I would hate for him to lose a potential friend when he just moved across the country with me and doesn't know many people here yet. So…am I over thinking all of this? I know crushes happen but I can't help but wonder if maybe I should try to distance myself from Eric and just encourage my husband to go out and do stuff with him without me. Or should I talk to my husband and let him decide?
TL;DR: | I am happily married and have a crush on a male friend. Should I distance myself from this friendship or am I over thinking it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you regain someone's trust?
POST: Ok, so I have a friend (she's one of my friends, actually!) who's parents are kind of strict, she especially IS NOT allowed to have one sip of an energy drink (it will make sense later, as I tell the story). One day she had a get together with me and to other girls and I brought a monster so I could stay up later. After I drunk most of it I put it in my friends mini fridge and forgot about it, the next morning her dad found it. (I wasn't there when he found it, so I don't know the exact reaction he had) My friend said that he literally interrogated her until she told him who had brought it. That was my first mistake, and apparently her parents weren't really that mad since I never even gave her a sip of it. But the next time I went over there I borrowed her iPad to go on reddit and accidentally forgot to log out. Her mom used it the next day and went through the account (not even knowing what Reddit was) and saw me using some not so "appropriate" words (no cussing AT ALL at her house, her parents are especially strict about that rule). She "interrogated" my friend again about who's account it was. Also, one of the things i posted was a rage comic about her from over the summer and her mom saw that too, so her mom was extremely POed about me talking about her like that (we had a HUUUUGE dissagrement over the summer, but we have become really good friends since then). I know what I did was wrong but now my friend's parents said that I'm not allowed to hang out for a looooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnngggg time, and defiantly not until next year(they never said that to me, they said that to my friend)! She's one of my best friends, I really want to hang out with her again soon! How do I regain her parent's trust?
Thanks for reading, I realize it was extremely long. :)
TL;DR: | I did something stupid and now i'm not allowed over my best friends house, how do I regain her parents trust? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, a nursing manager made my girlfriend cry. Help me plot Revenge!
POST: To make a long story short, my girlfriend who was new to the medicine floor, left her coffee mug in an area that she shouldn't have, and the nursing manager threw it away. To be fair, people leave thermoses and coffee cups in that area all the time without problem. AND, this was a $30 super nice vacuum-insulated mug that I bought as a bday gift. AND, the nursing manager threw away everyone's items/mugs without telling anyone, while they were standing not 10 feet away doing rounds (she was in a back room so they couldnt see what she was doing, and weren't really paying attention). Nobody ever explained that you cannot leave items in that area, and when questioned the manager yelled at my girlfriend for not knowing the rules (as I said, they were never explained) and threatened to call the hospital CMO.
TL;DR: | HELP ME PLOT THE PERFECT REVENGE. I have no shame and will try to carry out as many ideas as I can (without breaking the law/getting fired). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: EX Wife hates my current partner - we have kids and it's becoming a problem
POST: I'm 28 and my ex wife is 29. We were married for 4 years (together 6) before splitting up over 18 months ago, we also have 2 gorgeous girls (aged 5 and 3). Things were really messy during our split but have settled down. Neither of us were particularly happy in the marriage and it just exploded. I feel like we're both happier people now and we actually get along and have a laugh and can share special events with the kids (birthdays/random beach outings etc) - it's really nice.
Problem is I've been seeing someone for the last 6 months or so, and she is someone my ex-wife was friends with in highschool but fell out with not long afterwards. This is causing huge problems as my ex wife does not want her around our children, or to even meet her again or have her at events. My new SO has 2 children of her own as well around the same age so it makes things hard when they are excluded from events with my children. The way my ex wife was during our breakup (she lost the plot, used the kids as ammo etc) makes me cautious about how to approach this, but I'm really at a loss as to what to do. It would be nice if we could all hang out and get along (ex wife has been seeing someone as well) but I know that will never happen as my ex wife hates this person. I'm not asking for us to be one big happy family but it would be nice if we could all just get along. She's even said "if it was anyone else I wouldn't have a problem with it."
I'm not about to give into my ex wifes demands here, but I hate that this may turn into a huge problem in the future. Do I tell my ex wife to stick it, or just suck it up and realise it will always be this way?
TL;DR: | Ex wife hates my new SO and refuses to let my kids and hers socialise or even treat her with any respect at events for the kids. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Elopers: When/Where did you get your dress?
POST: FH and I have decided to elope because after nearly a year of trying to plan something that we both want in a little mining town, I've given up. Anything nice that I want has to come from the city or interstate (I was DIY'ing what I could but I'm unfortunately artsy in my heart, not my bones) and with every question I asked FH, he realised that it was getting more and more stressful for me, so he suggested we elope. YAY!!
Now the only stress is my dress. I'm scared of buying something online and getting ripped off, I'm short and curvy so I'm scared that anything I try on will need to be altered and that could take too long depending on where I end up buying it, I don't want to spend a fortune on a dress like they seem to be in stores, but I'd rather see it and try it on and know that it's a nice quality before I pay money for it. I don't really have anyone to go with either. I don't have any close friends really and I'm not all that close with my MIL or step-mum.
TL;DR: | ? I'm scared of dress shopping! And now we're eloping and I don't know where/when to get my dress. Please help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[24F] friend [24F] sent bad pictures of me to my fiance[28M]. Am i right to be upset?
POST: My[24F] friend and I did a trial makeup session for my wedding yesterday. She took some really goofy pictures of me and we had a lot of fun. My fiancé lives in another city and he asked me to send some pictures. I told him that my friend had the pictures and I would send them later.
What I didn't know was he asked my friend for the pictures and she sent him terrible absolutely terrible pictures to him and they laughed about it. I found out later when he sent the pictures to me laughing. Am I right to be mad at him for asking her pictures behind my back? And at her for sending all the terrible pictures? She also sent the pictures in our Whatsapp group and they made jokes about me there too. Am I being oversensitive?? I was actually close to tears when I found out they were laughing about me. What should I do now?
TL;DR: | My friend sent bad pictures of me to my fiancé and they all laughed about it. Am I being oversensitive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would it be bad for me [23M] to ask my friend [23F] why she is still dating her boyfriend?
POST: I see her a lot but I hardly ever talk to her about him because I hate everything about him with a burning passion. We went to undergrad and are in med school together and he is a college fail out who began dealing drugs and is now on probation. She does complain about being with him and how she wishes he'd do something with his life, but doesn't seem to have any intention of leaving him.
For the record I am seeing someone else and I do not have feelings for my friend, but I do really wonder why she is still dating her high school sweetheart of 5 years. I don't want to sound condescending, but rather maybe "are you still dating chris?" and see if she talks about it.
TL;DR: | Wondering if asking my platonic friend why she is still dating a scumbag guy would come off as rude. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by driving home from school [NSFWish]
POST: This happened about 15 mins ago, and it was such a terrible experience I feel the need to share it. Throwaway because real life.
So I was driving home from school on one of the busy streets in my city when I noticed my balls were stuck to the inside of my leg. Driving in this position is FUCKING AWFUL, because every time you change pedals you run the risk of pinching a nut.
Being the daft mother fucker that I am, I thought to myself, 'hey! I can just reach in my pants, unstick myself, and no one around me will have any clue about what I've done!'
So I commenced my grand scheme at a particularly long red light. I was in the left lane and the lane to my right was sailing by. No one would even notice. And if anyone pulled up next to me, they wouldn't be able to see in.
I reached in my pants and unstuck my sac from the inside of my leg. However, while I was down there I realized that I had to scratch. So I began scratching. I started scratching like my life depended on it.
This is when I fucked up.
I looked up and to my right to realize that the righthand lane had come to a halt. This wouldn't have been a problem had the car that stopped next to me been a honda or some small vehicle. But that wasn't the case. What stopped next to me was a FUCKING BUS. This bus' angle let everyone on the left side of the bus to see into my car.
I looked up and made eye contact with probably one of the most attractive females I'd ever seen, hands still in my pants. I stopped my scratching and pulled my hand out.
She just looked at me with this look. One I will never forget. One that said, 'WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU.'
I wanted to leave. I waned to get the fuck out of there so bad. But my light was still red. So I had to sit there, music playing and this girl staring at me like I was some sort of pervert.
TL;DR: | Was driving home from school and had to unstick my balls. Scratched them like a fucking fiend under my pants and the bus next to me watched. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] asking a girl [17 F] I never officially met out on a date
POST: Note: I have never been in a relationship nor have I ever made an attempt to ask someone out.
For the past few months I have been picking up my brother [17 M] from school almost everyday. Occasionally, people would ask for rides or my brother would offer rides. There have been few times when a have given a ride to two girls. The first girl I have met in the past in high school, let's call her "Jenny". The second girl, let's call her "Nicole", and I never met previously and we have not been introduced to each other. Jenny and Nicole are best friends and every time I gave them a ride I always dropped them both off at Jenny's house, as requested.
I think Nicole is very beautiful and I find myself attracted to her. I do plan on asking her out, but in this situation I do not know whether I should just get straight to the point or if I should take small steps.
Here is the plan I had previously thought of: When I drop them off at Jenny's house I will let them take a few steps towards the house before I get out of the car and interrupt them. I call out to Nicole "Hey, wait! Nicole, right? I know this may be a little strange since we barely know each other but, (complement about how I think she is pretty) and I would like to take you out on a date sometime".
My previous thoughts was that it is completely normal for two complete strangers going out on a date. But recently I have been thinking more about it and I started considering finding a way for a group of us (me, Jenny, Nicole, and couple of their friends) to hangout as a way for Nicole and I to get to know each other.
How do you think I should approach this situation?
TL;DR: | I have given a girl I barely know rides home. Should I straight out ask her on a date or should make an attempt to get to know her better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 2 years, just stopped living together - should I call it quits?
POST: My girlfriend and I recently stopped living together after 1.5 years. We've been together a total of 2.
Things were great at the start until about 5 months in, where we started having problems. I had some old baggage that I had to resolve myself, so I started going to therapy and working things out. She threatened to move out because of my problems, and actually did for a few days, but came back. We resolved our problems, but they arose again a year later (about a month ago). Not the same problems, but this time it was some problems she was having. The household became really toxic and she decided that she didn't want us to live together anymore. I pleaded for her to stay and work on it together as a family, but she decided that we should live apart and work on ourselves.
We've been living apart for about 2 weeks now, but I haven't seen her at all since she went on a family trip. She's back now and wants us to "work on our relationship." I'm wondering if I should even bother because I feel a sense of resentment toward her for breaking us up (in terms of our living situation.) I also don't feel like I can trust her - I look toward the future and imagine us having kids, going through a difficult time, and then her deciding to break our family apart again.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | After living together for 1.5 years (out of our total 2) she decided we should live apart "for a while" to work on ourselves. Should I just call it quits now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f22) am trying to cope with breakup with first love (m26)
POST: So I know when we started seeing each other in February 2007 it was a little wrong because I was 15 and he was 19. We were bf/gf but didn't begin our sexual relationship until I turned 16. We broke up for a little bit and got back together when I was 17 and our relationship was legal. We both had infidelities and he decided it was best we broke up at the end of 2009. I was devastated, heartbroken. Wanted another chance... We went no contact until 2011 when we hooked up once and we mutually went back to no contact.
Then in January 2013 we start seeing each other again. He wanted it to be a secret from any mutual friends and I agreed. After almost a year I told him I couldn't take it anymore because we were living a lie and we broke the news to our friends, apologized for hiding it so long. He started telling me he loved me again in July of last year. I was so happy to finally have my first love back...
Well our relationship has never been all that great. He holds the past against me, accuses me of cheating and lying constantly. We're both extremely jealous and our relationship was toxic from the beginning. None the less this man, no matter what he says or does has my unconditional love.
Right now we are broken up and have been for a little over a week now but have talked nearly everyday. He broke up with me because he didn't want a closed relationship with me and I wasn't willing to open it. Now I wish I would have agreed because we're broken up and I still plan on continuing our sexual relationship once a week... He basically gets his cake and eats it too while I get to feel used and unwanted. I'm so distraught over this.
TL;DR: | off/on boyfriend / first love of almost 8 years left me for freedom says its permanent having trouble accepting it and can't stick to no contact without caving |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Finding the Energy...
POST: I always think that I'm pretty motivated myself. These are the things currently on my plate:
-grad school (4.0 gpa in Secondary English Education)
-two jobs (full time program assistant, part-time tutor for an adult with CP)
-raising my 14 yr old brother (granted permanent custody)
My friends are in awe of my schedule and my adherence to it. The only thing is that when it comes to more leisurely pursuits, like reading, writing, playing guitar, or taking up a new hobby, I feel too spent in terms of energy to be creative or to experiment with anything. I have entered a slump in finding new music, something I used to enjoy, I keep saying I need to get to these projects that involve fixing my bike up to tour around the state, starting a garden, and get into woodworking. But every day I'm being pulled by something enough to where I'm ready to fall asleep, or I feel like I need to reward myself and relax.
TL;DR: | Already motivated to work hard, need motivation and energy to be creative and experiment to find new hobbies and learn new things. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Thinking about starting my own business as a CAD designer, does anyone have any advice?
POST: Hi there,
My name is Simon and I live in Sweden. I'm currently 20 years old. I graduated from industrial-collage about half a year ago. I've been searching for a real job while doing small construction jobs for my family since then.
I'm pretty good at working in CAD and I've been playing with the thoughts of starting my own business drawing stuff for companies and for private individuals. I guess I can pretty much draw anything but my forté is in mechanical parts. But I'm also good at Visio so making drawings of layout in houses and gardens etc shouldn't be a problem.
Is there anyone that has any experience in stuff like this and could give me some advice and input about this?
TL;DR: | I'm interested in starting my own business or freelance as a CAD designer, does anyone have any advice/input about this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: :( My [27 M] ex-girlfriend [29 F] broke up with me. Post-breakup behaviour is odd. WOULD LIKE ADVICE
POST: So my girlfriend and I called it quits a little under 2 weeks ago. Big fight in public with her rehashing things from the past. In the end it broke down to communication issues, nothing particularly harmful that was done to one another. She said it's not longer worth the fight and wanted to break up. I disagreed a few times and tried to get her to change her mind, but she didn't and so I simply caved and agreed. We parted ways and that was that.
Last week she was supposed to attend a meeting for a group that we are both a part of. Even during the break up, she said that she would see me at the meeting and we need to be civil in order to avoid awkwardness. I agreed, and told her I have no problem with civility and being professional in such a setting. Anyway, she no-showed.
I left a note on her desk, basically saying that I couldn't help but notice her absence and that I hope she's getting some much needed rest after working hard the last few weeks. Nothing mushy, simply caring. I wasn't expecting a reply; I actually prepared myself for the silent treatment. As I suspected, she ignored it completely.
Ever since the break-up however, she's posted multiple quotes or "quotestagrams" on her social media. My news feed constantly pops up with quotes she's liked. Each about relationships and more bitter than the next. A lot of them are direct responses to issues we had. I'm definitely not reading into them, there's no such thing as that much of a coincidence.
I'd like to understand why this is being done. If breaking up was her idea and she said she was 100% sure that it's no longer worth the fight, then why keep posting and liking these things to get my attention? Is it simply to get my attention? Or is she actually hurt? I don't understand how someone can be so bitter over something they wanted themselves. On top of that, why not just reach out to me like I reached out with a simple caring note on her desk?
LADIES HELP ME UNDERSTAND lol
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me. Silent treatment ensued. She has been posting and liking dozens of relationship quotes directed at me. Why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it better to withdraw from a class or fail it? (College)
POST: I am currently halfway through the semester and the last day that you can withdraw from a class is coming up. I am currently enrolled as a business student but found that it is not for me, instead i want to follow my dream and become a mechanical engineer. I am in a Microeconomics class and have been avidly studying the past week for the midterm that we took today. I did very poorly on the mid term and am questioning what i should do. My student advisor is all book up until after the withdraw date and wont talk to be about it. So i could use the help do i stay in the class and potentially fail it or do i take a WD on my transcript. I am also looking to transfer out of my college asap since they do not offer mechanical engineering here.
TL;DR: | Doing poorly in an microeconomics class even with studying and im looking to transfer out next semester is it better to drop the class or fail it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: A (19/m) guy is into me (15/f) but idk what he really is going for
POST: So this guy I met at a tournament found my ig and DMed me and we started talking. He keeps asking me if I'm in a relationship and whether I'd want to get together with him. I don't know him that well and we live 6 hours away. He seems to be a nice guy, and I do want to give him a shot (I've done long distance before), but I'm not sure whether he wants to get together with me because he likes me or because he wants a relationship. He constantly tells me about how sad he is because he's single and always puts "relationship goals" pictures in his snapchat story. However, he says he likes me, so I'm not sure what to make out of this.
TL;DR: | This guy I know, but not that well, wants to get together with me but I'm not sure if because he likes me or just wants a relationship |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Did I screw up my FAFSA by supplying half my parents joint income for my separated mother?
POST: I'm currently a high-school senior, and am planning on attending a four year university this fall. I am worried I might have made a mistake submitting my FAFSA.
Context: My parents are separated but not legally divorced, hence, although living pretty-much separate lives, they still file taxes jointly. I live with my mom, who has been my primary source of financial support since my parents separated. She makes less than half of what my father makes.
When filling out my fafsa, I was unsure how to handle this situation, but after researching online, it seemed that every source I could find (except for official government sites, which were silent on the issue) said the same thing: I should just report one parents income, unless I live in a community property state (which I do, Texas), in which case I should report half of the joint income. This was exactly what I did. In hindsight, I realize I should have checked with a counselor or something before submitting.
Today, I was contacted by my school's automated system, and they want me to submit verification of the information I entered. I'm realizing now that if I was mistaken about how to fill out the FAFSA in my situation, halving all the information from my parents tax returns might look like fraud, particularly given that I won't have the opportunity to explain what I did.
With this is in mind I have two questions:
1. Did I screw up when submitting my fafsa?
2. When I submit my parents' tax return for verification will I get in trouble with the school and/or the federal government? If so, is there anything I could do to prevent this, by say, forfeiting federal aid?
Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to reply.
TL;DR: | My parents are separated but not divorced, so I submitted half their joint income on fafsa. Was this the wrong thing to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it a normal thing for me (F23) and my best friend (M27) to sleep in the same bed all the time?
POST: Does anyone else have a *platonic* friend that they stay and sleep with? He and I are very close and almost instantly became that way about a year ago. To the point that people don't understand why we aren't dating. While we do spend a lot of time together, we've never crossed into that romantic plane. We've discussed the issue, but neither of us have ever made a move. We've also been involved with other people on a somewhat casual level. However, despite that fact, I have drunkenly suggested that we cross the line and recently spewed to him that *maybe everyone else was right and we should be together and that he should kiss me*. He didn't. He told me that since I was drunk that I'd regret it the next day. Well, I felt like an ass. I also felt that things would be awkward, he didn't allow that though. And we're still staying with each other. I'm having a very hard time figuring out/accepting that I have those sort of feelings for him, especially considering that he may not return those feelings. He did say though that he had a hundred things going through his head when it came to his past love, his current crush, and myself. I think we both need to just sort things out, but back to my main question, are we really that peculiar in how close we are or are there other people out there with friendships like ours?
TL;DR: | We've been friends for a year, obnoxiously close, everyone says we should be together. It has kind of gotten under my skin, so I'm asking if there are others out there with friendships like ours. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [42 M] with my wife [51 F] married for 4 years, together for 11, just confessed emotional affair
POST: My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and last weekend she admitted to having an inappropriate emotional relationship with a co-worker. She's broken it off, but she still has to interact with him.
She's started to go to 12-step meetings for Sex/Love addicts, which is sort of a surprise to me, as I didn't really see this.
My wife and I have had to overcome a lot of issues, I myself am a recovering alcoholic, sober for 8 years.
I am really struggling with this, though. In all the time we've been together, no matter what, I have never been worried about her cheating. We have our problems, but I have always felt that at least I could trust her in this area. Now I feel like I can't, and I don't know really how to process this.
TL;DR: | In short, any advice on how to proceed around my wife's infidelity and her admission to being an addict in this area? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25/M] Pushed a lot of awesome friends away with my negativity/drama. Any way to gain them back?
POST: I don't know why I do this, but I always have sense a young age. Sometimes when I'm at my lowest, I tend to start thinking really hyperbolic and dramatic. Ie: Calling myself worthless, a loser, etc. Or doing something small and start texting shit like "Omg. I'm sorry. Are we cool? How can I redeem myself?" etc etc. I'm working on my depression/social skills/etc And since I've been catching up on sleep and doing good things with my time, I've been feeling better about myself recently.
None of my friends have "written me off" persay. Like if I reach out to them, they tend to reply most of the time. However, I don't get invited to social events with them anymore. And I miss that. I'm really introverted/awkward/etc and I have a hard time making friends. So the friends I do have I like to cherish and keep a hold. But I feel like since the bridge isn't 100% burned, I can build it back somehow. I just don't know how to gain the trust back. Any ideas?
If you have any questions, let me know. The friends that I speak of I've known for 7 years. I've known them for 7 years, but been close with them from 2010-2014 but drifted apart recently.
TL;DR: | Acted like an immature/pissy asshole manchild, pushed some really good friends away. Would like to know how and if I can rebuild broken bridges. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how can I address Congress in person?
POST: Recent events have led me to believe that no matter what America says, Congress will not listen. My belief is they are far too busy acting like toddlers to give a single shit about anything that doesn't advance their personal agenda (what with the endless name-calling and blatant sabotage of anything "the other side" proposes), and are consequently damaging the country beyond repair.
Every day I hear or see something in the news that actually makes me feel physically sick with frustration. Statistics show I'm not alone in my frustration, but the powers that be seem to be a tad out of touch with the feelings of the general population.
Everybody is sick of Washington's bullshit, and I think it's time somebody marched into the House of Representatives and told our public servants to, essentially, stop being a bag of dicks (perhaps with slightly more eloquent phrasing).
So my question to you is, how do I go about telling Congress to get its act together right to its slimy, slimy, slimy face, preferably without being shot in the face by security in the process? I feel as though bursting into the chamber and asking, as somebody who helps pay all of their salaries, to use the podium is the best way to draw attention to what I have to say, but (and please correct me if I'm wrong) I'm thinking that waltzing into important federal buildings and making demands is not the best way to go about this.
TL;DR: | I want to speak on the floor in the House of Representatives so I can tell Congress to stop being a dick. Is this possible, and how do I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: /relationships said this belongs here
POST: I've been dating the same girl for about a year and a half. At this point, I can still say truthfully that I love her, but we have been distant, in part because she is finishing up her last year(ish) of school, and I am already working in the city. We see each other once every 2-3 weeks.
However, there is another girl at my work who I have known for some time, that I am starting to develop feelings for, although I have never cheated on my gf with her.
Here is the kicker. My gf is going to study abroad for her final semester (4 months), and the non gf "friend" is moving away in August.
I feel like I am losing some very important people in my life, and there is nothing I can do. I really feel like I can't tell either girl the extent of the situation, because then I risk losing them both entirely.
Another issue is my pot use. I find that it helps with my depression, which I think is in part caused by the fairly consistent lack of female contact, and no means to get it without cheating. I normally like smoking, but I want to save the money instead.
I've told my gf that I need a break this fall, as I can't do 4-5 months of NO female contact whatsoever. She was upset, but asked if we could still keep in contact and I was thrilled and said of course.
I just feel really confused. Just typing this sort of helped, but I'm scared that I am going to lose people I care about.
TL;DR: | I have a gf and a "friend" that I have feelings for, and will probably lose them both and I turn to drugs to cope. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Running on a track or running on an elliptical?
POST: Hello friends! It's been a long while since I posted. About a year ago, I was just starting my weight loss lifestyle change and going strong, only to be slightly derailed around last Christmas.
At 90+ pounds lost so far and still more to go, I'm getting back into the game hardcore mode. I had not too long ago stopped counting calories and just mentally tallying, but I'm pretty sure I am a big fat fibber to myself when it comes to portions, so no more of that. In addition, despite my legs' protests, I am starting the C25k program (well, a variation of it) at home in addition to running the same variant on the track at my gym.
My question is, as the title hints, would running on the track be better for calorie burning than the elliptical, or should I do both (such as elliptical at the gym, running at home)? I understand the importance of cross-training, although elliptical running isn't very different imo from the track, but "free" running is far more taxing on me and I feel as if I get a better workout than on the elliptical. The only real exception I guess is that I do intervals while free-running, and I'm at a constant speed (most likely higher than my average running/walking track speed) on the elliptical. So what do you think?
TL;DR: | Track running intervals or constant speed elliptical training for better calorie burning results? I might crosspost this to /r/fitness as well, though I've been ill-received there before lol. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] of 7 months, I don't know how to respond fairly during debates.
POST: Hi, everyone. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. We are both at the same college, but are currently apart for summer. We skype often. Our relationship is fantastic, and we both love each other a lot. This is just one aspect that I believe I need to work on. I have spoken to him about it, and he wasn't clear--but I think the gist was that hopefully it will fade over time.
The issue is whenever we get into an argument--a real argument or a conversational debate--I feel slightly attacked. And, I become defensive. I, then, start thinking about some of the not-so-nice things that he has done. Whenever he has done or said something that has hurt me, it has always truly been unintentional or him just being slightly callous towards my feelings. I think of things that I have forgiven him for, but it makes me upset to think of those situations.
I know this is wholly unfair to him. If we are discussing a topic where we have opposing opinions, I can't start thinking about a douche move pulled a few months back.
I don't know how to get myself to stop feeling this way. And, I really do want to be able to have spirited discussions with him! How can I stop doing this?
TL;DR: | During debates with my boyfriend, I think of his past inconsiderate moments. This is unfair to him, and it prevents us from talking about controversial subjects. How can I work past this mentality? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] have a crush for one of my friends [19 F] who is in a relationship
POST: Hi Reddit,
so a few days back i met a beatiful girl on a seminar i was on. We liked each other from the beginning and started to talk a lot during the 5 days we were there. I really liked her from the beginning and know i just can't stop thinking about her. She seems to be perfect for me. We have the same hobbies, love the same music etc. . I will also meet her again in a few days and just knowing that makes me so happy. I would really be the luckiest person on this planet and in the entire galaxy if she would be my gf but the problem about this is that she is in a relationship with her boyfriend for nearly 2 years which makes everything so difficult.
During the seminar we were on it also came to a moment when we were tickling each other a bit and then our foreheads touched. We looked us both in the eyes for a couple of seconds but I didn't know what to do. I would have maybe gone for a kiss there if she wouldn't have been in a relationship. But most of the time we spent together or with the people we liked. We also sang Karaoke together danced a bit and talked for like an hour about the problems we have/had. It felt like she is the one for me.
She even lives together with her bf since a few months which makes it even more difficult for me to date her or something like that. It seems to me that waiting for them to break-up is my only possible way to even get her to date me which makes me sad
TL;DR: | Developed a crush on a beautiful girl during a seminar but she has a boyfriend with whom she is nearly 2 years togehter |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf[23 F] is depressed over career decisions and I[23 M] want to help but don't know where to begin.
POST: My girlfriend is cheery and happy whenever she's with me. She smiles, laughs and enjoys life to the fullest during our time together or when with her friends.
She's recently lost her job (a job she enjoyed very much) and has been working part time at a coffee shop. I work 9-5 so during the days off, she's alone in the apartment and not doing much. This has been beating down on her for months especially because her friends are doing the jobs they love and being wildly successful. This resulted in a couple calls with crying on my lunch break or just breakdowns on her not going anywhere with her life.
I'm trying my best to tell her we'll work on it together. She tells me that she's just gonna end up working a mediocre job that she doesn't love because she turned down or missed out on larger opportunities through the years. She didn't finish university and feels bad seeing her friends graduate as well.
She had a couple chances to do really extravagant jobs through the years. Due to circumstances (parents preventing her, unwillingness to move to another country), she had to turn them down. There are more factors for why she turned them down but the fact that she missed out on them burns her deep.
I'm not sure where to start because she's normally so strong and seeing her this low and sad triggers me to try and help the best I can. I want to help her get a successful job she loves and get her happy again. I personally don't care much for extreme careers. I just like working and being paid a decent wage. But I want her to have a job she can be proud of. I just want to see her happy.
So, my girlfriend is feeling low and embarrassed over turning down possible dream jobs, not having a stable job at the moment, possibly working a mediocre job she wouldn't like and not finishing school. As her boyfriend, how do I help?
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend is not happy with her career/education decisions as well as unemployment and feeling like a bum. I want to make her happy but don't know how |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] am having trouble feeling like my [26M] boyfriend has given up.
POST: We have been dating for a year now. Things were good at the beginning of our relationship and he'd do sweet things like buying me flowers or taking me out on dates that we'd plan together.
Since we moved in all that has stopped. Completely. It was as if a switch was flipped. I try to suggest things that we could do together and I cook and clean and give him massages and try to flirt with him to make him feel special but he never wants to do anything except smoke pot and play video games all day. (I should say I'm not against those things I don't smoke but I'm an avid gamer too but there's a point where it's too much!) I've tried and tried to explain that I don't feel wanted or desired by him anymore and he puts more effort in for a day or so and then nothing. I feel like I'm nagging and controlling to ask so often that it's driving me nuts!
It's gotten to the point where I'm not really sexually attracted to him anymore. I work out and I've tried to motivate him to go to the gym with me but he says his anxiety won't let him. I love him and I know it's shallow but he's put on so much weight since we moved in that I just... don't feel attracted to him. It also doesn't help that he won't try to romance me or put me in the mood and that's causing more tension for the both of us.
What can I do to save this??
TL;DR: | Moved in with boyfriend and he's become a couch potato pot cloud and I can't deal with it. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (25 m)needs advice on complicated situation with (24 f)
POST: Ok so here's the back story. I'm 25m, my wife is 24 f. We were married 3 years ago. Been together another 2. We separated about 3 months ago (stress over money led to infidelity on her part and that led to several fights between us). We both started seeing someone else after separating.
Today we met up to discuss the impending divorce and after a long(I'm talking 6 hours or so) talk we realized that we still love each other and that both of us have grown up a lot in the last few months. (Basically forced to because of living situations)
Now my question. Should we try to give it another shot? I'm thinking of basically dating and not jumping back into full fledged married life right away. Also, is the fact that we have both now been with someone else while we were separated going to cause problems down the road?
TL;DR: | wife and I separated, saw other people, fell back in love, want to give it another shot. Good idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I cannot get over my best friend/ex, please help, RA
POST: I dated my best friend one an off for about 4 years. I was always the doting one in the relationship and he was generally emotionally unavailable, but I loved and cared for him deeply. After our last official break up we continued to spend all of our time together and occasionally hook-up, but it was really basic, unromantic sex. More than anything, i would call him my closest, dearest friend.
After about 2 years of this, I met someone else and my Ex was devastated. He called and emailed all the time and all of a sudden wanted to be this caring, romantic boyfriend. But at that point, I only saw him as my best friend. This went on for 6 months (during which I was very caring, understanding and patient), until he met someone else. He wanted to break-off contact, which I understood completely.
After about 2 months, I emailed him just to check in and he wrote back saying he missed me. 2 months after that, I called him (I shouldn't have, I know)--I knew he wouldn't pick up and I didn't leave a voicemail. He called back and left a voicemail that was unbelievably vitriolic and said, among other things, that he said he never wanted to speak to me again.
That was 6 months ago, Reddit, and I'm still unbelievably upset. I don't know if it's just jealousy or a true longing, but I just miss my best friend so much. I can't get over it and I think about him every day. I would not, however, try to contact him again for fear of his response or lack thereof. But I thought I would be over it by now and I'm still just so upset. It's making me truly miserable. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Remained BFF for 2 years after breaking up. When I met someone - still friends. When he met someone - haven't spoken in about 8 months. Now I'm really sad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend is going to start traveling 4-5 days a week for work...
POST: My boyfriend (mid 20's) and I (also mid 20's) have known each other for over a year, but just started dating 3ish weeks ago.
He has a great opportunity at work, but this will cause him to be traveling 4-5 days week, pretty much Monday - Thursday for the next 2 months. I know travel can be a strain on relationships, especially new ones, but I'm really excited for him. This is a great opportunity at work, and he's going somewhere I love so hopefully I can visit while he's there. So my question for you RA is if any of you have/had any experience with these situations or have any suggestions that I can use to keep things moving along.
TL;DR: | Newish boyfriend (friends for a year before dating) is starting to travel 4-5 days a week for work. Tips or suggestions to keep things exciting/not stressful during this time |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why aren't we up in arm about McCain-Levin the way we are about SOPA when McCain-Levin is potentially so much more destructive to our liberties?
POST: I've been reading the many posts about SOPA on Reddit. I've also been reading the relatively few posts about McCain-Levin. I noticed that as SOPA has waxed and waned Redditors posted links about who to call, were giving updates on the volume of calls going into Congress about the bill, and giving blow-by-blow descriptions of how the fight was going.
McCain-Levin is potentially much more destructive to our civil liberties. It allows for indefinite military detention of Americans on American soil. If/when the bill takes effect, the government could declare Occupy a terrorist movement, like the UK has flirted with, and allow the military to lock folks up for as long as they like. This is much more devastating to our civil liberties than SOPA. It allows dictator-style "disappearances" and such.
I am in my mid-40s, so I am a little older than many of you, but I am in the tech industry and I see a lot of young folks coming through. I do not buy into the things many older folks say about the youth being lazy, etc. I have a positive impression of the people coming out of college today. But I see the difference in response to these two bills, and I say WHAT? It makes me wonder if what I am hearing from the older generations is right: that the youth really only care about being able to pirate porn over the Internet and that the larger more important issues elude them. I don't want to believe this, but this situation makes me wonder.
So, the youth have proven themselves to be a force to reckon with in the SOPA debate and Occupy. Why did you not turn that power to do battle with the McCain-Levin bill, which challenges rights far more important than downloading LOTR from Pirate Bay.
TL;DR: | Why the vehemence and activism among youth about SOPA but not McCain-Levin which attacks a much more basic freedom? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is a mobile phone contract, performed over the phone, binding the company to what was agreed upon?
POST: My contract with Vodafone Australia is nearly up, and I tried to upgrade my phone to a Samsung Galaxy S4. I called the necessary phone number to do the upgrade, and started speaking to a guy about what plans I could get it on.
I asked if I could remain on my current plan (The new ones are quite expensive) and the VF sales rep said that I could, and amazingly, the phone was turning up as $0 per month extra!
I happily accepted this offer, and the rep went through all the terms and conditions. I agreed to everything he said, and thanked him for the awesome deal.
The conversation ended and we both went on our happy ways.
About 45 minutes later however, the same rep called me back and said there was a mistake. I could not get the phone on my old plan for $0, it would be $35 p/m instead.
He also added that there was an extra charge of $270 left on my account (even though I was in my free upgrade period). There was a whole bunch of transfers between departments, and a lot of "only that other department can answer that question."
What I really want to know though, is whether the first agreement that we came to was (even though it might have been an error) legal and binding.
The final person I spoke to said they would get back to me with a final answer within a maximum of 48 hours, this was 72 hours ago.
TL;DR: | Vodafone gave me an upgrade over the phone with a great deal, then they called me back to stop that deal |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Help! My Dad is leaving our Family after visiting non-licensed psychiatric help. Hates things he used to love.
POST: My Dad is walking out on our Family. Brief: He is 50 and was going through what we considered a mild mid-life crisis. It began with vivid dreams that he was making connections to in his waking life. He is an engineer/scientific mind who now believes he can no longer live in our home if he wants to be the person he was always meant to be. He is even saying things like we are all critical and he can't stand our negative energy. He also wants to go live in the forest alone to concentrate on his inner self.
Even more alarming, he sought guidance from a non-licensed psychiatrist with an MA in Pastoral Counseling, and an interest in Reiki (she is an Advanced Pranic Healer) in recent years she has become an Integrated Energy® Therapy Master-Instructor. She has what I would call "recruited" him to pay a lot of money to go to a persons house once a month and seek counseling over skype with a Kabbalah instructor in California. He is also attending the Interfaith Spiritual Church on weekends.
This stuff is fundamentally changing him, and he no longer enjoys the things in life that he once loved (Hockey, Meat, Friends). He can't stand criticism and takes any questioning of these spiritual healers as negative energy he doesn't want to be around. He left tonight and doesn't plan on coming back anytime soon. Anyone have any guidance?
TL;DR: | My dad is going through a mid life crisis and seeking spiritual healing help. He is leaving his family behind in search of a new him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me[19/F] got dumpped bymy boyfriend my [20M/] after a year and 2 months of dating and 2 years of being best friends.
POST: My Boyfriend and I were best friends for 2 years before we started dating.
My ex and I had a strange friend affair . While I was dating my first boyfriend, he(my recent ex) claimed to be in love with me and would show up at my door at all hours of the night to console me while being in love with me. My recent ex then started dating this girl for a year and a half. He claimed he was going to marry this woman and that he was the happiest man of all. Since we were both in relationships he(recent ex) confessed how he did have feelings for me before his girlfriend. I then break up with my boyfriend at the time and realize that i'd really rather be dating my recent ex.
We eventually reached a point where we were both single. ( I had left another man for him) and we start dating. I lose my virginity to him which was a MASSIVE deal to me and I'm convinced that this man is going to be my husband
Slowly the man I love slowly began to die. He stopped caring about my feelings, he stopped saying thank you, he stopped showing me he loved me, he started smoking more weed, started ditching me for his new friends. It hurt
Reddit i gave this man everything, i cooked, i cleaned, i did his chores, i helped pay his bills and payed for dinner, i supported everything he ever wanted to do because i just loved him so much
He then left me. I wanted to take a break because I was so tired of his selfishness and I wanted him to realize what life would be like without me. He ended up saying how he, "couldn't do it any longer" and that a break up is whats needed.
He hasn't msged me or called me or even spoken to his friends about our break up. He has gotten over me and its only been 2 weeks.
I guess I'm asking why it is i've been so easily forgotten. My ego is really hurt and I want to know what to do next.
TL;DR: | My ex boyfriend of a year and 2 month (who was also my best friend for 2 years) dumped me and is already over it and its been 2 weeks. How am I so easily forgotten? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Can I confront my employer about unfair pay/ discrimination? (Southern California)
POST: For the last three years I've been working for a small biotech company getting paid a really low wage. About six months ago I asked for a new position and to transfer departments (they needed help). My transfer was approved but I did not receive a raise. I thought huhhh, this is in no way a lateral transfer but I'll give it a few months, maybe I need to prove myself first.
Over the past six months I had far exceeded my department director's expectations by developing a new product in addition to several other projects. My annual review was fantastic (5/5) and he recommended me for a "significant" raise. I asked for a 30% raise because that would place me on the low side of my new position's pay range.
Now about a two months ago the small biotech company I'm working for was bought out by a huge biotech company. About a week ago I asked if my raise had been approved. It was not... surprise! I was told I asked for too much and that I might be able to get a 10% raise. Now in my opinion what I'm currently getting paid is a joke and I believe it to be unethical on this company's part. Based on my research (glassdoor & salary.com), I should be making $15,000 a year more than I'm currently making. I'm pretty certain this large biotech company pays that much or more for people with my job description.
My question is what can I do? I'm a female and I live in CA. A new fair pay law recently passed that says females and males in similar roles need to be making similar wages. I want to know if I can confidently approach my boss/HR with this law? Any advice would be appreciated! I know I should probably quit but I've been boned for too long to just roll over.
TL;DR: | i transferred to a higher responsibility position with no raise. Six months later I ask for fair pay (30% raise) and was denied. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my gf [21 F] wondering If she should talk to her cousin about how she felt about her wedding.
POST: Okay so a little context here I have been dating my gf for 1.5 years now and we talk about everything. Last summer we attended a wedding of her cousin, which i'll call Shelly for this stories sake. Now Shelly and my gf are/were very close growing up and were best friends until Shelly went away for college. This is understandable as Shelly is a decent bit older.
When talking to my gf she stated that she was a little salty about the wedding itself as when they were younger Shelly promised her she would be in the bridal party due to how close they were. Come the wedding time she is told by her mom from the aunt (Shelly's mom) that there is going to be no bridal party just about S and her fiance. Normally only her family would have gone, but her younger sister was going to be on a trip to Europe so she would be more or less alone is terms of age group at the wedding. A few weeks before the wedding Shelly messages her on FB and tells her that she can bring a guest to the wedding if she would like, thats where I came in here.
Once the wedding day itself comes and we are all seated we look up to the alter and what do you know three groomsmen and three bridesmaids. She didnt say much at the time towards it, but now has expressed her anger towards the situation to me in private. She feels like she is over it and being able to bring me was a compensation from Shelly for not having her in the bridal party. I told her I feel like she should tell Shelly how she feels/felt to get it off her chest and let her know that it wasnt right in her book and that she felt decently hurt by the lie/deceit that happened. Not saying she should atone for the actions in place, but at least apologize and talk out their feelings so there is no long term resentment from her. What do you guys think about this, am I right should she talk with Shelly, or should I drop it and allow her to be "over it" in her words?
TL;DR: | Gf got lied to by cousin on her wedding day by saying no bridal party when there was one, says she is okay but I think they need to talk about it still. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: There's a guy who is really obviously moving in on my girlfriend, and it's making me uncomfortable.
POST: She and I have been dating for nearly six months now, and she's just as obviously into me as I'm into her. The guy in question is one of a group of friends she's been hanging out with since she moved away for college. She already has more guy friends than girl friends by far, but up until now they've all been very respectful of the fact that she and I are definitely in a relationship that's pretty rock solid.
The guy I'm worried about (we'll call him Jim) talks to her online constantly, and in one of their more recent conversations, he expressed his feelings for her. She rejected him outright, but he's still been talking to her a lot, telling her things about his life that most people wouldn't tell someone they met a month or so ago. (She told me all of this herself, by the way -- I didn't find out by checking her IM history or anything.)
I'm not worried that my girlfriend is going to be unfaithful, and Jim hasn't done anything to suggest that he might be unstable enough to try and force her into doing anything. Still, though, his (verbal) intimacy with her is putting me on edge. I don't like it.
I don't want to be the asshole boyfriend who chooses who his girlfriend can or cannot hang out with, but barring asking her to stop replying to his IMs, I'm not sure what to do in this situation.
TL;DR: | A guy my girlfriend knows has told her that he has feelings for her and talks to her constantly about really personal stuff. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: My girlfriend [19f] and I [20m] recently broke up and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: Never really done this type of thing before but I'm at my wits end with this situation and it's make me feel like shit.
My girlfriend [19f] and I [20m] recently broke up after 10 months because she felt that it wasn't like we were boyfriend and girlfriend anymore.
I've been feeling really stressed the past month or so and didn't really feel like I could talk to her and I'm imagining got a lot more distant than usual. I felt like I couldn't really talk to her as I'm her first boyfriend she would tell her friend about everything which I really wasn't comfortable with (and I couldn't just tell her to stop telling her friend anything).
I am in love with her although I haven't told her and I feel like we broke up for essentially nothing and it could have easily been avoided if we had just talked about it, at the time we broke up I was just too stunned to even really reply.
I really don't know if she feels the same about the situation as I do, I don't know if I should just talk about it because I don't want to ruin any chance of a friendship.
I am her first proper boyfriend so everything for her has pretty much been a 'first' and I felt that she didn't really know how to act in a relationship, this meant she talked to her friend a lot who really liked to meddle.
I really have no idea what to do and I really don't want to lose her, we were brilliant together and I'd really like for that to continue.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
TL;DR: | Was feeling quite stressed, didn't have anyone to talk to. Girlfriend feels like we weren't BF&GF anymore. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (32F) am getting some unexpected money, would it be crazy/wrong to keep it from my husband (33M)?
POST: My husband and I have been together for 5 years, very happy together and we have no real financial issues. We disagree on stuff occasionally but always come to a resolution.
I am about to change jobs and just found out that my accrued vacation time is going to be paid out to me. The total is a little over $10,000. The money is totally unexpected, we keep a close eye on our budget and don't have any specific need for it.
The idea popped into my head to keep it a secret from my husband. Not for any negative reasons, I just like the idea of having a happy secret that I could surprise him with down the road. Maybe I could plan a surprise trip, or maybe we would get hit with an unhappy surprise bill down the road and I could say, "surprise! I have money that can solve all of this for us!" The idea would not be to hide it permanently, just until we need it for something or I can think of a great, fun way to use it.
Is this a terrible idea? It seems exciting and fun to me but I'm guessing not everyone sees it that way.
TL;DR: | I want to keep a $10,000 unexpected windfall from my husband as a surprise to present him with down the road. Fun surprise or bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my M [31 M] one night, married
POST: I met this guy at a bar and had the best night of my life with him. Things were more comfortable and amazing than anything I have ever experienced. After a crazy night with a lot of sex I left in the morning with no goodbye. Realizing shortly after I didn't want to just let this go, I went back to exchange contact information. When I went to do so I noticed he now had a wedding ring on his finger. I called him out on it and left in a rage.
Four days later I receive an email via social media from him - he had clearly taken the time to look me up as I did not supply any personal information. He voiced intense interest in me, his displeasure in his marriage and outright said I want to leave my wife. After a number of innocent messages were exchanged, where I explained my disgust and told him I was unwilling to be in any contact with someone who was married he implied he was going to leave his wife, asking me my feelings and how I felt towards him. I told him I was not going to reply to such a question as I did not want my actions or words to effect any decision he may or may not make.
I don't know what his decision will be, but I feel bad even thinking about him. I have never had such chemistry with anyone I've ever met, but I know it is an extremely fucked up situation. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Had sex with man who was married, once I found out he told me he wanted to leave his wife and wondered how I felt about him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't like my (25M) friend's (26M) girlfriend (22?F). How do I hope with keeping him a friend?
POST: Anyway, I don't like her. I don't need to go into any details. That's my opinion, and of course I have no justification to act on anything and I've never said anything about it. They've been dating for years and years now, and just got a place together. I think she genuinely makes him happy. She gets drunk and randomly slaps him sometimes, and I know you're all gonna scream abuse on this sub, but I dont see it as my problem either, and I've only seen it happen twice. He's a big boy and I believe he's handled it.
Anyway, I miss just hanging out with my friend. I've noticed that as we get older, it's harder and harder to get friends to spend time away from girlfriends. I guess its mostly fine, since I am friendly with all the other girlfriends in our circle. I just don't like this one. This girlfriend generally has mixed relations within our circle. Some don't mind her, other feel like me.
How to deal? Miss my buddy quite a bit. We used to do lots of things together, but she's usually there when we hang out, and it would it, for me.
TL;DR: | I don't like spending time with a close friend anymore because if his girlfriend, which I don't like very much. How to deal and keep the friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help! I pick broken relationships and I crave attention! How do I stop? (25f)
POST: I don't know why I keep putting myself through this... (25/female)
I was in an incredible 5 year relationship and my boyfriend left me for another girl completely out of no where. We talked about getting married and children so I was completely caught off guard by all of this. I honestly didn't have a very hard time getting over him because I know I deserve better than that and I would say I'm a pretty tough person (not manly, just not very emotional).
Now 5 years later, I'm still single and can't manage to find/stay in a relationship.
Every guy I meet I think they are going to leave me (even when things are great). And every relationship I'm in starts off really good and strong then completely crashes... I try everything in my power to keep the relationship going even when it isn't working.
Currently, I've been seeing a guy (28) for 3 months. Technically we are FWB but we don't sleep with other people... We went from seeing each other 3 times a week and now I only see him once every 2 weeks (he's very busy) and I'm not cool with it, but I'm still stuck to him. The prior relationship, we were FWB for 10 month and I was crazy about him... Didn't work out because I moved out of the country temporarily, but we are still friends and I'm still crazy about him. What do I put up with this?
When I'm not in the presence of the person I'm dating I crave attention from other guys (not physical just talking and acknowledgment). I feel like I've developed a small attention whore persona in a way, I'm not loud and obnoxious in anyway, I just want the attention on me. I hate that I'm like this and I can't stop.
I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations. Don't have the money to go to a therapist either :( I'm open to any questions or suggestions!
-Is there something I'm doing wrong?
-Is there a way I can get over this?
-Why do I keep doing this to myself when I know I deserve better?
TL;DR: | I love trying to keep a broken relationship going and I always want attention... I know it's unhealthy, how do I stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[18M] really like a girl [16F],Need advice on the first step.
POST: I'm lost.
I've started talking with a girl last friday. I've met her in 2013 but I've not talked to her since 2014. She messaged me last friday, asking me how I was doing and so on, we started talking about our lives.
Since last week I've picked her up from her school 3 times and drove her home, she invited me inside all of those times, where we used to sit for 3-4 hours talking and giggling. I've met her parents, she told me that they liked me. Whenever I leave her house she gives me a hug.
Everytime we talk, she stare deeply into my eyes, and so do I. I miss her whenever I'm not with her. My stomach is filled with butterflies, I really like her.
I don't want to text her / call her too often , because it may look like I'm trying hard.
I'm 18 years old, she is 16, I've never had a relationship, I need some advices on what to do next. I don't want things to go wrong.
TL;DR: | I really like a girl, Don't know how to go for the first kiss. / Afraid of getting rejected. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29M] fucked up and broke up with my girlfriend [28F] of 8 years last summer, I really miss her now and want her back.
POST: We were together for 8 years. I met her in college. Some years were great and some years were bad. I broke up with her last summer because we were arguing a lot and I decided we both deserved better. We had talked about getting married sometimes. I know she wanted to, and I did too, but I for some reason felt like I couldn't commit.
It hurt for a long time. I thought the hurt would go away. But I still miss her and the more I think about it the more I realize I made a mistake and I think I was just running from commitment. Which sounds ridiculous now because we were together for so long, but I guess I was afraid of feeling trapped.
I have tried dating around. I thought a rebound girlfriend would help me. It did when I was younger. But every girl I'm with now just makes me think how little they are like my ex. And how much I miss her. And even though we fought a lot, how perfect we were. She always put up with me.
We don't talk any more but I know through friends that she misses me. She doesn't have a new boyfriend yet either. Should I try contacting her again? I really can't think of living my life with any other woman but her.
What do I do? If someone has gone through this can you please tell me what to do to fix this?
TL;DR: | I stupidly broke up with my long term girlfriend of 8 years and I realize what a huge mistake I made and I want her back. I really fucked up and I want to make it up to her and be with her again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19/F] just found out my ex [18/M] of seven months, cheated on me three times while we were together.
POST: We we're together seven months. In that time he cheated on me three times, the third time I actually knew about (until now) is the reason we broke up. (He cheated on me with his ex)
We've been broken up for nearly two months now and I'm talking to someone new. But it still makes me angry, and at the same time really really sad. How could he do that? Was everything a lie? Should I even let it upset me? How stupid am I?!
And just like that, the shirt you gave me that meant so much to me, becomes just another shirt hung up in my wardrobe.
TL;DR: | I've just found out my ex cheated on me three times, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So I think someone just stole my social security number.
POST: Sitting here at the office when I get a call from an 866 number regarding a job application. Except I haven't applied for a job in about 10 months now. Automated voice asks "is this derp derpington, (Not actual name obviously)." I say yes, then i'm transferred to a woman. Phone interview starts, I ask the lady how they have my personal info, of which she stated my social, date of birth, and both of my email accounts accurately. She says I had applied for a position online. Long story short I think someone has my info, ran a credit check nothing came up. What the fuck should I do?
TL;DR: | Think someone stole my identity to get a job. What steps do I need to take to make sure this person isn't going to wreck my credit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32M] need to end things with my girlfriend [23F] of 1 month because there's someone else. How honest should I be when breaking it off?
POST: I spent much of this year dating several women casually, and decided to commit to my girlfriend, let's call her A, about a month ago. Things have been good, but not great. I haven't felt a lot of chemistry with her and we don't seem to have much of an emotional connection. I realize I may have committed to her too quickly, and that's all on me.
Before I committed to A, I had been dating another girl (29F), let's call her B. I had strong feelings for B, but she had not expressed interest in a relationship, and we went our separate ways when I decided to commit to A. However, B and I met for coffee a week ago, and she said wants to be in a relationship with me. We had a very long talk about things, and after thinking it over, I decided that I want to end things with A and pursue things with B.
I am seeing A tomorrow to end things, and I am wondering what is the best way to go about it? I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to hurt her. Should I be honest and tell her there's someone else, or should I make up another reason for breaking up with her?
TL;DR: | I need to end a month-long committed relationship because I met someone else. How honest should I be about the other person (if at all) when I end things with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking a guy calling me was one of those annoying recording phone calls
POST: This actually happened a couple months ago, but I guess I forgot to write about it. It probably wasn't that bad of a fuck up, but I still feel like a complete asshole for it.
First a little back story: A few years ago I was visiting my family in the US (I grew up and live in Brazil), a woman fighting for gay rights on the street coerced me into registering myself and to make a donation. As a bisexual, I am all for gay rights, but I've never been a big fan of people on the streets just insisting on you to register and give them money, but since I am a push-over, it was exactly what I did.
Since I live in Brazil, I just gave my grandparent's address. Which was probably not the best idea since they are kinda homophobic.
Fast forward a year or so, and I am visiting my grandparents again. I am in a hurry to go out to do something, and the phone rings for me, which is odd since I don't live there.
I picked it up and hear a very electronic voice on the other side: "Hi! We are calling you on behalf of the Gay Rights Blablabla Association to...". I really really thought it was one of those recordings, and panicked because I didn't want my grandfather to find out, so I yelled out "OH MY GOD!" and immediately hung up.
My dad, who was the one who originally picked up the phone looked at me a bit surprised and just said: "Why did you do that?" and I explained him that I didn't want them calling me there because of my grandfather and stuff and I wasn't in the mood to deal with those electronic messages. He then told me it was actually a guy named Steve. I immediately felt like a complete asshole for doing so and could never call the number back and had no idea what the association's name was.
So I am sorry for being an asshole Steve! If you are out there reading this, I am sorry! If anyone knows a Steve working for some kind of gay association, please tell him I am sorry!
Thank you for listening!
TL;DR: | yelled "OH MY GOD!" and hung up on a gay's rights activist because I thought it was a recorded phone call, feel like a complete asshole for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 3 months, don't understand why she wants to go out
POST: I realise I might not be understanding something vital here.. but, as far as I know, people go out to mainly meet new people, and girls get all dressed up and stuff to find a potential mate.
Now, what if i'm dating this girl and we have cuddled and kissed and it's going all good, but she still goes out with her girls - all dressed up, has drinks.. and doesn't even text me once in the entire evening. I might be missing something here. Or I might be a drama queen or smth. It's just that I don't want to waist time on this girl, if she's not serious about me.
As a guy, I see it being quite pointless to go out and do all of this, if there is already a person I'm in a relationship with. That makes me start thinking if I am not just the backup plan, while she is looking for someone better. I get mad just imagining this being the case! But at the same time, there might be other reasons why she does that.. like meeting new people or whatever.. but then again - you don't need to wear tiny skirts to meet new friends (which is what she did).
All I need is an objective view on this, because my judgement might be clouded by the emotions I'm feeling towards her.
TL;DR: | A girl I've been seeing for a while is dressing up and going out without me and I'm struggling to understand why |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is this too clingy?
POST: My boyfriend is a geek and he has always been a bit of a flirt.. But no girls are usually into him. He's wanted me for about 2 1/2 years now and we've been together for technically 2 months, but been official for one month. He is right now going on about some model girl he saw today and how she is "the most beautiful/attractive girl I have seen in person in a VERY long time" and it kinda stung. Is this too clingy? He also talks about this other girl who he has conversations with on Facebook all the time and how she's trying to get in his pants and stuff and how she flirts with him and I stay cool about it all and make it seem like it doesn't bother me, but it does. And he's told me he flirts back and stuff. At the beginning of our relationship, we were talking about when we liked each other before and stuff and when I asked about those "other girls" he talks about he said he was just trying to make me jealous at that time (it was maybe a year ago? And also a bit recently this year). He said he wasn't going to do that any more/he didn't have to do that any more.. So I'm kind of at a loss here... I feel like I'm being WAY too clingy by letting this bug/hurt me. He has no clue that I feel this way at all because I don't want to come off as some crazy psycho bitch. He will randomly bring up girls he sees at bus stops and such here and there... Is he trying to get rid of me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Is he just telling me these stories about these amazing girls? I don't know, but it's making me feel really shitty about myself, like I'm not good enough for him to be honest. Is this all way too clingy? Please let me know. Thanks!
TL;DR: | My boyfriend talks about other girls and how amazingly beautiful they are and it's starting to make me feel bad about myself, like I'm not good enough or something. Is this too clingy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [F34] ex husband [M33] is dying. I'm not really sure what my place is.
POST: We were together for 12 years and we divorced 3 years ago. Anyway, I moved on, remarried about 6 months ago to a wonderful man. Yesterday I received a call from my ex's mother and she said that he has been fighting cancer for a while now and she thinks I should go and see him.
I went almost immediately. When I got there, we hugged for 5 minutes or so, not saying anything. He looked so skinny. I asked him why he didn't call me and he said that "he didn't want to bring me down.... like [he] always [does]". I remember in one of the last conversations that we had, that I told him that I was too good for him, that he just brings me down. We were in the middle of a divorce, emotions were running high, but I guess he must have taken it to heart. He was really upset and crying. He was also on something, I assume morphine. After that he just kept asking me to go "please go, please go." Eventually he called the nurse, who came and asked me to leave.
I feel horrible and I don't know what to do. I didn't speak to his doctor because I was only there for 10 minutes, if that. Later that night I called his room and after I said that it was me, he hung up. His mother said that "this might be it." I don't feel right, just leaving things the way they are, but that seems to be what he wants. He doesn't have any siblings, never really had friends and as far as I know, he's not dating anyone. So it's just his mom that's there. What should I do? Keep trying to see him or leave him alone?
TL;DR: | My [F34] ex husband [M33] is dying. I'm not really sure what my place is. I went to see him but he asked me to leave. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Earlier today I [29 M] broke up with my gf [27 F] of two years. I did it in a particularly hurtful way (unintentionally!) to a particularly vulnerable person. My sense of freedom has quickly worn off. How do I cope with the guilt--how much is appropriate?
POST: It should be noted that she has naturally low self-esteem (history of sexual assault, anorexia). I wanted to do this kindly, but I couldn't have done this worse if I'd tried.
The breakup was a shock to her. During the breakup conversation, she pointed out that: I had been telling her I loved her all week, and I recently said I was serious about marriage, and that we spent five wonderful days together for new years (we're long-distance relationship), and I told her I loved her and made love to her. She kicked me out after 15 min telling me she thought I wasn't even behaving like the real me.
Why the shock? Because we're long-distance, I was really INTENTIONALLY trying to avoid indicating that anything had changed until I saw her.
TL;DR: | I crushed the self esteem of a girl with chronically low self esteem. How do I cope with the guilt -- how much is appropriate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [25M] 2.5 years, he told me he cheated on me when he was on vacation
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. Tonight, I bought him balloons and a card stating that I loved him and I was happy he got into a school he had applied for. He started crying, hugged me and said he didn't deserve me. He proceeded to talk about his issues with porn and that I was perfect. After that was spoken, he told me he cheated on me with a random in LA.
I am at a loss.. It makes sense now, since we had sex twice since he came back. He wasn't able to keep hard the first time, and the second time he had no issue.
I don't know where to go... This all happened mere hours ago. I walked out without saying anything. He called an hour after I left.
Do I give him another chance? Do we try to work on our problems? I don't understand. My feelings are crestfallen. Should I call him tonight? I'm so lost. Can you ever trust anyone after that?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 2.5 years cheated on me with a random on vacation, confessed it to me in a state of guilt. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She[23f] is having her 2nd ACL surgery in 2 weeks. I[22m] can't be there for her. Advice please!
POST: So my friend tore her ACL and is having surgery in 2 weeks, but I can't be there for her because she is 315 miles away. Her dad and dog will be there.
We are not official BF/GF, but I want to send her flowers for her to look at in her apartment after the surgery. I am going to see her in 1 week for the weekend.
Should I give her something when I see her, or have flowers delivered to her apartment? If when I see her-what do I give, since the flowers probably wouldn't survive another week? If delivered-how do I do it so they arrive when she's there?
I wish I could be there for her! :(
TL;DR: | I don't know if I should give her something in person, or have flowers delivered to her to see after surgery. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Tailgate me? Teamwork pays off.
POST: I'm on a four-lane highway in the left hand lane, going about 70mph, which was 15 over the speed limit. The highway is pretty empty, save me, a car about 200 yards ahead in the left lane, and a car fast approaching me from behind.
Despite NOBODY being in the right lane, this woman rides so close to my bumper I can see what color lipstick she is wearing. The right lane is completely open. If 15mph over isn't fast enough, she can get over and pass me. The car in front of me gets over to the right lane, and suddenly, I had an AMAZING idea.
With the woman still attached to my rear bumper and refusing to get over, I catch the car in the right lane and slow to meet his speed at about 60mph. It's a younger male, in his 20s, driving a newer Mustang. I honk to try to get his attention, and finally he looks. I motioned my thumb back, he saw the woman, nodded, I pointed at me and him, and then made an "ease off" motion with my hands. He laughed for a few seconds and gave me the thumbs up.
We slowed it down to 45mph on the 55mph highway, hit cruise, and stayed beside each other for the next HOUR while the lady is angrily switching lanes back and forth, tailgating each of us, making obscene gestures, and pointing at her cell phone. Finally, the guy beside me honked, pointed to an exit and waved. I thumbs up'd the guy, mouth'd "Thank you", and he turned off.
The woman behind me SHOT by with middle finger out the window, and I can literally hear her screaming through my closed window. Mission accomplished.
TL;DR: | Lady tailgates me, I work with some awesome guy to go slow and block her from passing us for the next hour. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My ex-boyfriend stole my spare key and pawned my laptop.
POST: My ex and I broke up back in July, since then he occasionally sleeps on the couch because he does not have a place to live or a job. A couple of weeks ago I went out of town for the weekend, he had stayed over the night prior. I got back Sunday and saw my $1,200 gaming laptop and a $120 messenger bag were gone. I then looked in the desk where I keep my spare key, it was gone too. He did not leave with a backpack or anything, he had taken my spare and came back over the weekend and took the laptop and bag. I spent a week trying to hunt him down, him avoiding me etc. He doesn't have a phone. I found out where he staying so my cop friend went over there once a day but he would never answer. I finally caught him leaving one morning. He said he would go get the laptop and contact me in a hour. He would not tell me where he was going or let me give him a ride. I got a call from an investigator this morning saying she had records that it was pawned, so he apparently went to buy it back since he knew the heat was on. I did get my items back. I also retrieved his backpack from a mutual friend which had a smartphone in it that was not his. I took it, called the owner and the guy said it was stolen from a local bar my ex frequents. My bike was also stolen 1 month ago, now I'm wondering if that was him too. I recovered it last week, it was supposedly in an unpaid storage unit. We have had no contact since I got my stuff back, should I just drop it or press charges?
TL;DR: | My ex is a thief and liar. Should I go ahead and press charges even though I got my stuff back to help stop his petty thefts? Or let it go? |