Datasets:

Eka-Korn

/

review_sentiment_classification

like 0

i am working at a video store so i got to see this one for free thank god had i paid for it my review would be less forgiving well the major idea of the film geeky girl takes bloody revenge isnt all that original there are several parallels to carrie playing a mean practical joke on a loser except for one nice girl that is actually sorry for her tamaras and carries bad family background i still think its a fun idea for trashy teen horror flick unfortunately they didnt take much advantage of the potentials that are here and rather put an emphasis on all the wrong things what worked i liked the actress that played tamara she looked great when she was hot and her catty lines were fun sean cant come to the phone hes f**king patrick what didnt work the whole wicca thing was silly i generally prefer rational explanations she could have ploted the whole thing with her teacher or one of the boys to get her revenge there were a lot of logical wholes and the gore looked really bad when the boy is cutting of his ear and his tongue please the whole idea wasnt bound for oscar buzz but i just think they wasted the comedic and the suspenseful potential they had it was bearable but far from good

there are plenty of comments already posted saying exactly how i felt about this film so ill keep it short the grinch i thought was marvellous jim carrey is a truly talented physical comedian as well as being a versatile clever actor in my opinion mike myers on the other hand gets his laughs by being annoying i used to like him very much in his waynes world and so i married an axe murderer days but ive never been fond of austin powers and the cat in the hat has just finished me off this film was horrible the gags were horrible inappropriate for children not only in adult content but in the fact that some of them were so dated they havent amused anyone for years the plot was messy messy messy its a shame really because the children were very likeable as was mom they probably could have picked a better villain than alec baldwin but he could have pulled it off if it werent for myers ugly revolting over acted portrayal of the cat i mean did myers even glance at a script was one written the other actors seemed to have one but the cat just seemed to be winging it on the other hand i would like to mention that the sets and props were marvellous but unfortunately they cant save this film poor dr seuss the man was a genius dont ruin his reputation by adapting his work in a such a lazy messy way

this is a road movie at least the movie is in yellow anf i think that suggests a road movie i cant say much positive about the delivery its bad acting certainly their english camera looks like it is done by a kid theres a bomb with counter and suddenly a beetle is falling from the sky since it was so cliche we actually laught the whole time and that was the most fun of the movie this movie should be released in america but im not sure you should go because that might suggest that is the quality we produce the explosions look boring basically everything is over the top everything is just too much the yellow quality the sound the babe etc find all the cliche part in other movies put them together and you have the delivery

it amazes me that anyone would find pauly shore entertaining he is basically one joke that gets stale *real* fast he has his little california jerk vocabulary and a basic stock of lame jokes mainly he is just obnoxious that said i watched this movie because i was up sick and there was literally nothing else on but infomercials otherwise i would have turned it off after minutes anyway the film could have been ok if pauly could have just turned off his spiel and just played it as a comic actor instead of well pauly anyway im sure pauly fans will like it anyway but if you are not a pauly fan stay away from this crock of manure i had to leave this comment after seeing that another user actually gave this film a maybe it was pauly personally i gave it a because they didnt have any mike in frame shots didnt drop the camera and the supporting cast was pretty good

this movie suffers from the fact that for years hollywood had no clue as to how to package jackie chan for the masses his low budget hong kong movies were all fast paced kinetic thrillers that highlight his amazing gymnastic skills and talent for light comedy his early hollywood films stuck him in the same movies that were being packaged for stallone or chuck norris there is nothing about chans character in this movie that requires the character to be asian except for his being the star in his hong kong films chan is never dull with the movies being one rapid fire martial arts sequence after another but the protector is lifeless throughout danny aiello isnt given much to work with either and the lacking chemistry between the two probably is more a result of the script and direction than how the two actors got on together both have been better in worse movies the best thing about the movie is the hong kong settings the worst part is the appalling way that jackie chan comes off so colorless and drab it wouldnt be until the made in canada rumble in the bronx that the west would finally figure out how to make a good jackie chan movie

every time i watch this movie blood comes gushing out of my eyes yes you read that correctly ive watched this wretched foul thing more than once caddyshack went wrong for so many reasons harold ramis dialing in a script and abandoning the direction duties rodney dangerfield wisely walking away from the project because they wouldnt allow him to tinker with the script bill murray showing excellent judgement and not being part of it and a puppet being pushed forward as the feature player of a cast who deserved much better i cant help but think of dyan cannon in this and wonder why shes perpetually laughing and smiling the only conclusion i can draw is that she is indeed the face of pure evil stay with me a moment she must have been watching as the film came together and revelled in the untold agony that it would inflict on countless soon to be extremely sorry movie goers who would have this film inflicted on them she may also have been extremely drunk thats what i need to be right now to wash the foul taste of this complete and utter failure out of my mind if im lucky itll be washed out forever i have seen this film several times i blame several of them on childhood and being a very dull and dim witted boy who apparently had no aesthetic sensibility perhaps puppets are just funnier when youre a kid no the muppet show is funnier now guess i was just dull caddyshack is that rare kind of film that is so extraordinarily disappointing on so many levels that you convince yourself after the end credits that it couldnt have been as bad as all that it was it is it will only get worse with time my reasons for going back to this film mercifully are becoming fewer randy quaid is limited in his role as jackie masons lawyer his opening scene isnt bad and brought out my only chuckle we see him a few more times but it becomes as tired as the rest of the movie and descends with unfortunate rapidity from incidentally amusing to vapid wasteland randy quaid acquits himself well and this film owes him big time because if there was reason to watch this film as anything other than a torture tactic he was it maybe thats the trick of the movie it has enough potentially endearing qualities that people watch it are horrified at what theyve done to themselves but later because the pickings were so slim can remember only what did actually amuse them years later they unwittingly watch it again and the cycle repeats jackie mason takes a lot of the blame for this film but in fairness im not sure he deserves it hes really trying out there but it is impossible to not to notice that he spends the entire movie doing a rodney dangerfield impersonation thats who the movie was written for but im not sure even he could have saved it ultimately this fails miserably through terrible direction bad editing shall we count continuity errors and a rehashing of the same story with none of the wry humour or heart that made the first film endearing dragged kicking and screaming up to a three out of ten instead of two by randy quaids bulldog determination it isnt even bad enough to laugh at ive definitely seen worse but trust your memory this one is a dog if youve never seen it youve made excellent life choices and i salute your excellent judgement

this movie was bad on so many levels the writing was horrible so even the best actors could not have made this movie watchable its a shame because they did have some good actors in this movie i mean if anyone has seen any of the police academy movies you would know that steve guttenberg was good his character in this movie was very serious which was a big difference from characters i have seen him play before so that was a plus and i did think that steve guttenberg was extremely hot in this movie with or without the shirt you can not deny that he has a great body sexy face too loved the oclock shadow look it made him look dangerous at one part in the movie he is lying in bed without his shirt and i have to say i would have gladly jumped in there and tried to take his mind off of his problems so honestly i would watch this movie again just to fantasize

my parents used to rent a lot of horror movies when i was a child we loved watching them even when they were bad they made for some enjoyment this was one such movie kind of hard to review as i have only seen it the one time as a child but it is not anything i want to track down again so i can do a more in depth review the story has some old horror actor legend dying i seem to remember he acted a bit like an over the top vincent price without being likable and classy he commits murders and dies but what is this is the movie over already no as some kids for some reason snag the body and are prepared for a fun night of being killed by the ham from beyond the grave i remember the murders were nothing all that special after the first couple and i remember this movie was rather disappointing seemed to have a good premise but it just failed to deliver the goods as more cool kills were needed and that super horror actor needed to add a bit to his repertoire

the director of this waste of celluloid specialises in dreadful exploitation films where pretension is all the previous year he did dangerously close whose good idea about gangs getting too much power in school and the school paper editor against them was submerged in a sea of sloppiness and he would go on to do cyborg jean claude van dammes worst film ever no mean feat this would be comedy about a girl kathy ireland in her film debut whos a total schlump whose inner babe is only awakened after she falls to the centre of the earth and has a set of badly filmed impossible to follow adventures chiefly involving a set of dwarves who want her because she has big bones go figure before returning home changed for the better isnt funny gripping or entertaining in the slightest and anybody watching this to salivate over miss ireland will be put off too not because of her voice but because she spends most of the film buried under tons of baggy clothes with huge glasses to boot no wonder cannon the producers are out of business amazingly kathy ireland has made better films since thenor maybe that isnt so amazing next to this barb wire is aliens

when my own child is begging me to leave the opening show of this film i know it is bad i wanted to claw my eyes out i wanted to reach through the screen and slap mike myers for sacrificing the last shred of dignity he had this is one of the few films in my life i have watched and immediately wished to unwatch if only it were possible the other films being troll and fast and furious both which are better than this crap in the hat i may drink myself to sleep tonight in a vain attempt to forget i ever witnessed this blasphemy on the good seuss name to mike myers i say stick with austin or even resurrect waynes world just because it worked for jim carrey doesnt mean seuss is a success for all canadians

this movie was incredibly stupid with meaning what so ever i fell bad for all the actors and actresses that ruined there career to be in this stupid movie the entire movie was based on how unrealistic they could make it to make little like it which made it even stupider even some of the names were unrealistic the film is fun to watch which is why it had out of stars this is probably the rd stupidest movie ever made i got really made after i realized that it had mostly adult actors in it yet in was a kid movie the most upsetting one was danny trejo a horror movie actor who is always dirty the other actors were pretty much clean as far as im concerned

circus could have been so much better if they had reduced the number of twists and developed each better the film features a very gifted cast that mostly perform well however it totally loses the audience basically everyone is back stabbing everyone else and not back stabbing them at the same time because they are backstabbing someone else and working with did i lose you well the film is even more confusing clearly written by a first timer writer it has some redeeming qualities though in the acting especially famke janssen shines as lily but sadly gets a lot of useless screen time just standing there doing nothingthe dialogue is a bit cheesy and the accents sometimes irritating but its still worth watching if youre a fan of any of the actors especially john and famke who get the most screen time just remember to watch it with a notebook so you can write down who is double crossing who every second

i am assuming that the rave reviews on this page were from people who have never read the book unfortunately for those of us who love the text hollywood outdid itself on destroying this one i am not sure where on earth the woman love interest came from except that she replaced the cat nor why our rogue male acquired a helpful family back in blighty in fact the vast majority of the book has been cut out and replaced with your standard cruddy love story the ambiguity about which world leader was in his sights was removed completely and our rogue was given a name neither of these appeared until the second book i gave it a rather than a simply because of the wonderfully bad cockney accents joan bennett outdoes dick van dyke in mary poppins by miles and this goes a tiny way towards saving it ah well brits should probably avoid this trust me

the title pretty much lets you know what youre getting its a grade c howler but not as blatantly funny as i was hoping directed by exploitation film specialist eddie romero from a story that originally came from jonathan demme long before directing silence of the lambs and philadelphia this low budget action movie was obviously filmed in the philippines but set in some anonymous third world country playing hooker and small time drug dealer lee daniels blaxploitation superstar pam grier plays the first half of the title role while long forgotten margaret markov is the other half karen brent an unlikely patty hearst like political revolutionary looking to partner with her comrades to overthrow the oppressive local government naturally antagonistic toward each other they are in a womens prison camp where they wear inexplicably bright yellow mini skirts as uniforms run by a closeted warden and lecherous matron the prison is just an excuse for a lengthy shower scene and some half hearted cat fighting as lee and karen are pitted against each other of course they escape but shackled together a la the defiant ones and continue the cat fighting until they attack a couple of nuns to steal their habits meanwhile various groups of unsavory men are in pursuit the loutish drug lord looking for lee who stole $k from him the rather passive revolutionaries looking for karen and the incompetent police who suffer the humiliation of exposing their privates to the drug lord needless to say everything eventually comes to a head but not before gratuitous nudity by a number of filipino women a dog wears karens panties and some of the worst of s mens fashion one beer bellied revolutionary wears a leather halter top with a straight face there is a rather sad ending but whats truly sad is how much of the potential black comedy is missed entirely in this hilariously preposterous exercise sadly grier is disappointing in this outing because her character is not allowed much to do beyond dealing with all the jive while markov is an amazonian blonde whom i am convinced is trying desperately to be credible since no one displays any talent for acting the rest of the cast is not worth noting except balding bug eyed sid haig who uses his standard psycho persona as the drug lord the dvd contains only the original trailer as an extra

national lampoons dorm daze is easily the worst movie i have ever seen and ive seen the movie kazaam anyone reading this who thinks this movie was good in any way shape or form has no idea what a good movie is and should never watch another movie again because they are indeed so stupid its hard to name everything wrong with this movie first off the plot is all over the place and cant follow all the multiple misunderstandings very well at all the acting is awful to say the least and the whole thing was poorly made any and all who worked on this movie should not be in another movie of any kid ever again it is too hard to sum up this movie in just a paragraph or two because it is so bad but for anyone out there reading this please do not watch this movie if you want a good movie to watch go turn on anything else on television even usa has better movies than this _friend

this movie is in all likelihood the worst film ever made it is certainly the worst that ive ever seen and i have seen a lot of bad movies in this nothing at all interesting happens throughout the movie one could literally start the movie take a short nap and then wake up secure in the knowledge that nothing interesting has happened while you are sleeping and i have seen this movie three times staying awake throughout i feel i should be congratulated the movie goes as one might expect according to a formula with no variation hunters capture baby bigfoot get killed by parent and the nearby town goes into a bigfoot killing frenzy this is surprisingly boring for a troma release so please do yourself a favor and skip this movie if you have to see it you will understand why

after viewing still life a short film directed by jon knautz i was genuinely excited for his feature film debut jack brooks monster slayer still life had perfectly captured the essence and feel of an episode of the twilight zone and i was eager to see what knautz could do when taking on the horror comedy genre the campy nature of the name and promotional materials suggested something along the lines of evil dead or army of darkness a fun gory s style horror flick with lots of monsters while that was what knautz was going for he utterly fails at capturing any of the fun or entertainment value these movies had the problem with jack brooks monster slayer is that it completely lacks an understanding of what made these horror comedies that it tries to evoke so great in the first place two thirds of the running time is primarily devoted to the films hero jack brooks a plumber and college student as he goes to class and attempts to deal with his uncontrollable bursts of anger theres nary a monster in sight for the greater part of the film barely even a drop of blood or the slightest attempt at anything horror related even if evil dead or dead alive had subsequent amounts of the gore cut out theyd still be entertaining jack brooks isnt its plain boring which is the worst thing a film of this nature can be jack brooks himself is not all that interesting at least not enough to warrant the amount of screen time hes given all one needs to know about him is revealed in the films first ten minutes and from that point on whenever hes not beating the pulp out of a monster and he rarely does hes not worth watching the movie goes nowhere following him around on psychiatric sessions and scuffles with classmates eventually things do pick up jack brooks battles a few monsters some heads are crushed a few humans are slaughtered and then its over just like that all within the span of about fifteen minutes it is a good fifteen minutes the monsters are all fairly inventive and done entirely in camera and theres some great gore gags the best being a zombies head crushed in but after sitting through seventy five minutes of pure tedium fifteen minutes just isnt going to cut it thats really all there is to it i could ramble on about the acting which is fairly well done especially horror icon robert englund in a non traditional role and how the creature prosthetics are a nice throwback to the days when films didnt use cgi but it really doesnt matter jack brooks monster slayer is utterly boring and while jon knautz obviously does have the talent to create a good film once again the last fifteen minutes are killer and still life was amazing – check it out jack brooks completely misses the mark it has its successes acting make up but those dont change the fact that its not very entertaining at all the screening i caught this at had the director and cast in attendance one piece of information i picked up was that a sequel was in development and that this time it would focus more on fighting monsters as opposed to the creation of a hero my advice skip this one and wait for the sequel

i saw this movie on vhs some time ago jan just because of the name of paul rudd on the cover i liked his performance in `the object of my affection very much and i really expected a good work however i found this film a complete mess the story has a very confused screenplay and the characters are not well developed further the low budget special effects do not help much i do not know the previous generation of gen y cops but this next generation is not good i do not recall exactly why i gave this grade and i do not intent to see this movie again but my vote is four title brazil `gen y cops a nova geração `gen y cops the next generation

if youd like a great april fools joke then please by all means show this film to someone however it is important that you in no way criticize the film but instead talk about what an artistic triumph it is and how they just dont make great films like this any more as your victim watches many disconnected and nonsensical scenes such as a cute dog getting punted for no apparent reason a cow standing on the bed a woman licking a statues feet or jesus apparently raping a woman make lots of comments using words like brilliance juxtaposed or transcendent all the while acting as if the film actually makes perfect sense and isnt a complete waste of an hour of your life also be sure to keep a straight face and feign shock when and if they say that they either didnt understand it or thought it had all the artistry of a cow patty then to further mess with them show them all the comments on imdb as nearly all except for a few trouble makers like almagz and rooprect talk glowingly about what genius and artistry this film is by the time you are done with this little charade theyll most likely think they are idiots and will make an appointment with a psychologist this to me is the only possible reason to watch this horrid mess of a film that or you could show it to the prisoners at guantanamo in order to get them to talk if you ask me the famous painting of dogs playing poker or a velvet elvis painting are superior artistically

dark harvest scarecrow out of in einsteins theory of relativity time is of the perspective of the one that views time or so ive heard in other words this movie feels a lot longer that an hour and change even on fast forward and you will be reaching for that fast forward button it clocks in somewhere around eternity if you are familiar with lionsgates own version of project greenlight this is where they buy a home movie but a fancy cover on it and sneak it into the horror section of your local wal mart you will not be surprised by the complete and utter lack of entertainment value contained within the line reading i refuse to call it acting is uniformly awful this is a collection of deadbeat dads and strippers pretending to be in a movie between cans of schlitz the camera work is drunken father shooting vacation film quality and while the special effects are okay the scariest effect is the breast augmentation scars in the nude scene the story is awful the sets are from a haunted halloween put on by adhd middle school students and once again the line reading remember this is not acting anymore than sinking to the bottom of a pool is swimming is distracting beyond mere words avoid

i just watched congo on dvdin most cases i love these kind of movies but this one is different it made me write my first comment for a movie on imdb i was amazed how such a team of experienced filmmakers could come up with this movie as a result you can see there was a lot of money for this production but you cant make a good movie if you dont have a good script and as a producer frank marshall gave us plenty of great movies to watch he never should have tried to become another spielberg this one shows how hard it is to make a good movie maybe youve got all the ingredients but if you cant cook stay out of the kitchen if can make a suggestion dont spend your money on this one if you want to see it watch it on television first and make up your own mind

lets cut through everything in the first paragraph the messengers the newest film by the pang brothers danny and oxide as a horror movie is profoundly bad and just as a movie in general is a big disappointment its nothing but a rewarmed sixth sense and as long as that picture is still available there is no reason on earth to pay money to see this turkey lately horror slasher films such as the final destination series wrong turn boogie man the ring and the grudge are becoming increasingly more reliant on big shocks with no payoff for instance something jumps out at the person on screen elicits a gasp from the audience but turns out to be a cat or a crow or something little goes into making it a genuine frightening experience like the sixth sense or signs or some of the classic horror movies of the s s and s the messengers relies upon the same old tired clichés as these newer far inferior films and is therefor old tired and to my surprise ended up as one of the most boring movies i have seen in awhile the plot has another stupid family led by dad roy dylan mcdermott the practice mom denise penelope ann miller awakenings kindergarten cop tv series desperate housewives big sis jess kristen stewart zathura a space adventure and toddler ben evan turner who move to north dakota from chicago the reason for the move is never really outlined here but it has something to do with the dads inability to find work and jess drunken driving escapades we know there will be trouble immediately because they move into a big gothic house in the middle of nowhere a domicile that looks like the munsters summer home oh and the first five minutes of the movie show something really horrible happened there jess hates the place hey who could blame her but optimistic pop hopes to make a go out of raising sunflowers despite the unusually large amount of crows fluttering about but when he meets burwell john corbet raising helen and looking like kevin costner in the film version of my name is earl an itinerant drifter and expert on raising sunflowers things start to pick up but then weird things begin to happen jess is terrorized by a violent unseen force in the house of course no one else but the two year old ben can see it so shes labeled a flake and the crows keep hanging around ben also is able to detect the unearthly creatures but since hes two he cannot articulate it scene after scene of people telling the little boy to tell them what he sees finally had me wanting to yell to the screen he cant tell you hes two freaking years old yes have the only protagonist who can solve all of these things be a mute toddler is real smart anyway were left to ponder the sanity of jess when and if ben will ever properly describe the paranormal visions he sees if dad will make the sunflower thing work if the high plains drifter is a good guy or bad what the point of the george plimpton looking realtor is how a pitchfork plunged in the back can only be a flesh wound what moms role in the family is and where are all the crows coming from all of this while waiting and wondering for something anything to happen the conclusion is really lame as well and once again begs the question of how a spirit which has no physical body can cause harm to a living person very dull pointless and most terrible of all not frightening in the least oh and there are a lot of crows in this movie

there is a famous short story about a man who becomes the prey of a safari hunter who has lost interest in hunting anything except humans its quite good and its been done and redone in film and tv many many times some are notable but this urbanized version that injects the tired old racism themes just flat out stinks leguizamos slapstick is almost as weak as the unfunny script chaplin this guy isnt there must be people who find a dwarf who cant stop dancing funny i mean i suppose it is funny in a pathetic freakish way but its just not enough to carry a movie you have the usual nazi holdover or neo nazi whatever the heck we are supposed to think type villain whos son of course is gay german accentsget the picture

in this horrible attempt at a blair witch mockumentary a bunch of people go to africa to investigate a creature called the half caste its pretty obvious that there was no script to speak of and that everything was improvised that can work if you have good actors which this film didnt this movie tries to gain points for originality by exploring a more obscure myth and an exotic culture as a result there are a lot of scenes out in the bush where characters do quirky african stuff like eating elephant dung there is also some pretty good footage of lions eating from a national geographic perspective but theres not a single scare in the whole movie if youve seen cannibal holocaust or the blair witch project this movie will hold no surprises for you and you can probably watch better lion footage on the discovery channel definitely a half aste effort a note to the filmmakers guys do us all a favor and next time save the how i spent my african vacation home movie for your family and close friends nobody else wants to see it

i dont understand how some people can stand playing half life counter strike when there are so many better first person shooting games available counter strike is a game that doesnt use any imaginative ideas in its weaponry all the weapons in the game are real life weapons but there could have been at least a cheat that allowed players to have access to a supernatural weapon like the all powerful bfg in the quake & doom games another problem is that the player actually has to reload the weapon manually this can become extremely annoying especially while in the middle of a firefight when you are so close to killing the enemy the reloading delay also gives the feeling that the gun is slow at performing its task there are not many choices of characters to choose from if i remember correctly there are types of characters each for the terrorist and counter terrorist forces this means that many of the characters look the same as each other which really brings down the games realism the game is pretty sexist when it comes to character selections in the early version of counter strike there was a woman available to choose in the terrorist force selection which was good for the female gamers in the latest versions however the female character was deleted and replaced with another male character i wonder if the women who played the game were disappointed at the newer versions finally the maps in the game are very small the biggest map seems to be the desert map but it has standard detail in fact all the maps in the game have standard graphics in other words nothing new to sum up i think half life counter strike is the most un imaginative first person shooting game of all time there are plenty of better & more imaginative shooting games to play so why waste your time on this boring game youre better off playing the unreal tournament quake and doom games avoid this over rated & over hyped game i give the game a

visitors is a hard hard movie to enjoy its so slow and leaden in its pacing that at times i was drifting off during the film this was about am on a hot sunny day i might add not midnight on a cold winter evening so you get an idea of just how slow this movie is strange thing is its not long at minutes its only ten minutes longer than the average straight to video and its only fifteen minutes longer than the superior darkwolf that id quite happily watched the day before it just drags an awful lot enough for you to lose interest when its not mistaking s l o o w development for atmosphere visitors is good enough at action to almost make it excusable how slowly things happen while the flashbacks are both cheap and annoying as a way to round out radha mitchells boats woman the hauntings aliens whatever are actually quite creepy and effective especially when her suicidal mother turns up and starts groaning in the night full marks for not splurging make up all over the shop too the single person boat is a creepy place and at times the movie uses the full power of the location and the deserted sea to scare the hell out of you still though i find it hard to recommend visitors i came out of it not only feeling like id just watched a hour film not a minute one but also feeling like id been cheated somehow as while offering many explanations as to the hauntings mind games real ghosts space aliens visitors doesnt pick one for definite all that watching radha mitchell talk to her cat and dominic purcell smoulder for no obvious reason about some unexplained horrific event in the past for nothing say what you like about shyamalan but at least he tells you what happened however crazy stupid you might think it if you dont watch a lot of these movies your fresh perspective will probably improve matters somewhat but i found this slow boring and highly derivative if you want to scare yourself silly there are much better places to do it if you want a clever thriller there are many that are smarter

for those that might send me nasty e mails shove it there is a trend in hollywood where those that create overly quirky movies are instantly impervious to criticism garden state tends to be one of those movies sure zach braff star of a rather overrated sitcom surprises people with some talent behind the camera but that doesnt warrant the kind of praise that a film like this has been receiving the story is often times too thin and shallow to provide any real insight people have compared this film to the graduate but those type of people are the types that try to oversell independent cinema indie films are subject to the same hit and miss mentality that typically hits the studio films but people seemed to have forgotten that there are far more bad indie films than good ones garden state isnt atrocious but its isnt great first off the film is too quick resulting in a rather fast reemergence of large into his former life after ten years people tend to act like he never left wheres the awkwardness of course the situation is always solved by a quick drug tasting scene which i will say was portrayed rather accurately the film seem to present a lot of emotional inequities giving us the idea that the emotion will come up later in a more deeper and more well thought out way however it fails to deliver on those fronts leaving us wondering why the journey to some of his decisions and moments were quickly resolved like peter saarsgards grave robbing tendencies it wasnt completely abysmal but maybe we should stop praising the film as something it isnt

the plot a trucker kristofferson battles a corrupt sheriff borgnine by getting his fellow truckers to band together and form an unstoppable convoy that stretches for miles and soon creates a national media frenzy the negative the films setup is weak and the ending even weaker it has all the good ole boy trucker clichés without adding anything new in the process it ends up making smokey and the bandit look brilliant and inspired kristofferson is much too laid back for a leading man role and cannot carry the picture borgnines character is portrayed awkwardly at the start he is made to look like a real jerk of a sheriff who overacts to a minor contrivance that starts the whole thing rolling then at the end he is made out to be a little more sympathetic and even secretly siding with kristofferson which doesnt work at all in either case jackie gleason is a much better actor for this type of role the worst part about the movie though is director peckinpahs attempts to throw in a serious message into this silly action flick that does nothing but slow it down and bomb in the process the positive the only good scene in the whole film is the fight sequence inside the truck stop restaurant director peckinpah puts a funny spin to his trademark slow motion violence and the result is amusing unfortunately he starts putting all the action into slow motion during the rest of the picture until it eventually becomes tiring mcgraw is always a pleasure to look at but unfortunately she is given very little to say or do the lowdown if youve read the synopsis than you have essentially seen the movie the song that this movie is based on is pretty good but the movie adds nothing to it and should never have been made this is all very uninspired stuff for such a maverick director the rating out of

having already seen the original jack frost i never thought that jack frost would be as absurd as it is boy was i wrong then again a pix movies have a way of showing unbelievably bad material even worse than you might expect i believe this is the first a pix sequel and it may be an indication of what to expect in the future more a pix sequels its hard to watch this without laughing especially during the later parts of the movie in which jack frosts offspring which are essentially snowballs with eyes arms a mouth and sharp teeth start killing people with the typical comedic dialogue and silly voices to go with it they are shown both as puppets with a stick underneath to move them and as computer animation which i have to say looks very cheesy the computer animation surprised me as the first jack frost had no such effects id strongly recommend that you see the original jack frost before seeing this one both of which it would be preferable to watch with a group of friends to get the full amusement out of it and because it would make more sense sense being a relative term now only if there was uncle sam

im sorry to say this but i didnt enjoy this movie at all it was just too boring so boring that i couldnt watch the rest of it its not as interesting as the lion king or aladdin thats why i hate this stupid days because these days are just not what they used to be the movies that disney have released lately really sucks i miss the old days when they used to produce good movies like the lion king aladdin pocahontas cinderella the aristocats and robin hood this movie is really awful i really tried my best to be interested in this movie but i just couldnt i dont think i could recommend this film to anyone i would recommend the ones that i just mention above

i dont get it i just dont get it barney and friends has been lambasted by millions through the years and i will admit i was one of those lambasters any child who watches this show doesnt realize that what theyre watching is just a piece of trash barney is very annoying and very selfish add baby bop and it gets even worse add bj then you have a very creepy television nightmare then you get the children theyre old enough to know what barney is trying to teach them what are they doing there in the first place it would be funny if barney and his friends appeared on the jerry springer show that would certainly be one of the wildest moments in television history even more significant is that this show marked the beginning of the end of public television as we knew it as we have seen less and less of the more informational and interesting public television programs that aired in the s and the s what a big difference a selfish son of a gun makes when this show leaves pbs a big sigh of relief will be felt among millions of people but a huge dent will have been made in the annals of television history a message to barney himself you may not realize it but your days are numbered in a nutshell there are other choices better choices

the most impressive thing about anemic cinema is its title an anagram which is very nearly also a palindrome unfortunately it only works in american english since in britain anaemic is spelt differently ive always found the dilettante man ray and his artistic efforts to be deeply pretentious and ive never understood why his work attracts so much attention apart from his rayographs which he invented by accident and which are merely direct contact photo prints his one real contribution to culture seems to be that he was the first photographer to depict female nudity in a manner that was accepted as art rather than as porn but surely this had to happen eventually and theres no real reason why ray deserves the credit the critical reaction to man ray reminds me of the story about the emperors new clothes back in the early s the second season of the twilight zone opened each episode with a shot of revolving concentric circles in black and white theres an image in anemic cinema which is so similar i wonder if twilight zone borrowed it from this film the main difference is that the revolving image here is a black and white spiral indeed if ever there was any movie that deserves to be described as a spiral this one is it throughout anemic cinema were treated to shots of a revolving disc containing words in french moving in a spiral the effect is vertiginous and the texts about incest and eskimos are nearly dada in their meaninglessness i did laugh at one clever sexual pun the emperor is naked folks and this movie just barely rates points out of au suivant

there are good bad movies and bad bad movies and enjoyably bad moviesthis isnt one of them this is a movie that doesnt realize just how bad it is i saw this at a screening on november at the new beverly theater in los angeles as part of the grindhouse cinema this theater puts on every month hopefully presenters eric caiden & co will think twice before letting writer director lawrenece foldes anywhere near them again what a con man the guy got up to speak before the film you would think he was orson welles talking about touch of evil or some other lost classic hardly nice of him to take up minutes of the audiences time with his incoherent rambling young warriors has been described as a cross between animal house and death wish but if you are expecting something along the lines of imitations like revenge of the nerds or the exterminator you will be in for one sad disappointment the script makes zero sense the direction is so poor the actors looked embarrassed and what can you say when the best thing about the movie is watching a car blow up poor richard shaft roundtree in this movie he plays another character with the first name of john but thats about the only similarity his character here has to the aforementioned classic i hope this film allowed him to pay the rent for another month other actors who look like they wished they could be anywhere else included ernest borgnine and linda day george this is a complete waste of time even the audience did not seem that into it except for the one spazz boy sitting in the back who yelled whoa every five minutes and his girlfriend who giggled with the fervor of a lobotomized talking barbie every time he opened his mouth for real films about vigilantes i would suggest the following death wish i ii iii exterminator i vigilante force ms rolling thunder the no mercy man the latter two being a pair of films presented at this theater a couple of years ago probably the same budget as young warriors but both were a million times better

this takes place on fire island back in the s a couple peter craig dudley and buddy j will deane are throwing a th of july party at their house unfortunately their relationship is falling apart and they have to get ready for a house full of very strange guests the rest of the movie chronicles the party and what happens between peter and buddy ok im a gay man but i was back when this was made if this is a true view of what gay life was in the s im glad i wasnt around from the puzzling opening credits which shows kids playing in the sand this movie slides slowly into disaster theres a guru robert case who talks nonstop about nothing of any importance i wanted to gag the guy halfway into his first long speech theres the young kid danny who is there for his first time theres the lesbian couple who do nothing except one strips for no reason theres the leather queen worst of all is the effeminate man named jimmy jimmy foster were introduced to him and his friend whose name i never got when they get a flat tire they basically scream and screech for minutes and have no idea how to fix a flat i know some people find this funny but i found it offensive and pretty sad the party itself is full of people you would never want to know its like being dumped in a party full of bad actors playing obnoxious people with the sole exception of dudley no one can act this may be valuable as a portrait of what fire island was like in the sbut its pretty dull viewing this gets a only for the frequent male nudity of some very nice bodies

family guy when the show first aired it was fresh original and actually quite funny now i have stopped watching it it has become one of the worst shows on television combining unfunny jokes repetitive drawn out jokes and the hope that each joke can become funny with the inclusion of the word bitch seth macfarlane clearly has issues with himself and he is obviously pandering to the year old boys audience i just dont understand how something that started out so funny so different from everything else can devolve into this horrible mess of a comedy show i seriously have heard better one liners from a pud comic it truly is sad to see great shows fail and watch drivel like this continue on either seth macfarlane has stopped trying or he believes that this show is hilarious the way it is either way god help us i hate this show and will dance an irish jig when its finally cancelled

some may go for a film like this but i most assuredly did not a college professor david norwell suddenly gets a yen for adoption he pretty much takes the first child offered a bad choice named adam as it turns out adam doesnt have both oars in the water which almost immediately causes untold stress and turmoil for dr norwell this sob story drolly played out with one problem after another all centered around adams inabilities and seizures why norwell wanted to complicate his life with an unknown factor like an adoptive child was never explained along the way the good doctor managed to attract a wifey to share in all the hell the little one was dishing out personally i think both of them were one beer short of a sixpack bypass this yawner

if you have seen this movie then you will know that it is one of the worst bollywood movies ever made bollywood is known to copy hollywood movies who would of known that they will copy terminator the difference between both film industries are hollywood spends millions and bollywood spends thousands average thats the problem with this film if you want to make a t style movie then do it properly the director added a bogus fantasy storyline about a reincarnated snake who finds his long lost girl in the previous birth dead by guys but the blame goes to people she suddenly reincarnates into a ghost and together they want to kill the people they blame for her death not to mention the reincarnated snake guy or villain has some kind of super powers he can transform into anything he can fly disappear fire power wind power you name it he has it he even gets bazookered and survives the t style you are probably wondering how he survives its best not to ask and its best not to waste time and money on this movie its best just to forget this film even came out i think its a shame to use a big starcast for this outrageous movie with a nonsense storyline

you get this stupid excuse of a childs play rip off man what were they thinking first they mess with a rumpelstiltskin horror movie then they make crap like this fariy tale haters well to be honest ive seen this as a kid and it scared me a bit a lot simply because i was under aged with the assumption that pinocchio wouldnt do that wah wah wah but ive grown and come to think of this as childs play rip a fairy tale bashing nonsense and a lame tales from the crypt episode or trying to be one at least with a lame ending that was stupid and it had many plot holes and i still cant understand how it came to life was it the work of an evil geppetto then what after a few evil deeds he becomes a real boy who becomes americas most wanted personally i think the concept of an evil geppetto sounds better he builds an army of wooden killers and starts a crime wave funny but this is awful awful awful awful awful awful stinky like a shoe and awful it sucked it sucked if you want killer puppets settle for the killer doll specifically childs play instead no strings attached or if you want a fairy tale figure turned upside down watch leprechaun or if you want pinocchio watch the animated disnet version or live version with jonathan taylor thomas and martin landau instead >>>>> negative

i havent watched this show in months but for a while i was forced to watch it every day because i had a roommate that liked it so maybe its undergone some vast improvement in all that time although the commercials and the rating on imdb arent a good sign it was clearly just a quick replacement for chappelles show even mencia says so and while i wasnt even that big a fan of chappelles show his jokes were at least original and clever and far edgier than mencia has ever been mencias jokes are completely unoriginal and stale if you cant see that i guess theres just no hope for you but to be fair here are some examples mencia blatantly rips off chapelles lil jon skit just takes it south park makes an episode about scientology one week later mencia has a joke on his show about how offensive he is to scientologists bear in mind the joke isnt about scientologists but about how much hes offended them on his show when up to this point he has never made a single scientology joke ever after hurricane katrina two ap photos go around the internet showing a black man looting groceries and a white woman finding them weeks later after millions of people have already seen this mencia presents it on his show as if he discovered it and its being shown for the first time the daily show would have been on something like that in a day pathetic even more annoying than the joke stealing is the way carlos has promoted himself and his show claiming hes breaking down some sort of pc barrier whatever and that if you arent laughing you must be a weak prude who cant handle any jokes about race yes carlos its not because youre not funny its because were all too offended to laugh if that was really true then why was chappelles show so popular he constantly berates his audience for not getting it if he doesnt get enough laughs and often repeats and explains his jokes a technique most comedians stop using by age the worst part is that mencia does not seem to be very intelligent its sort of tragic that there are dozens of funnier more insightful comedians out there trying to make it while this guy is rolling in money his show is supposedly the third highest rated on comedy central which is baffling again it has a rating on this site where the hell are they getting these numbers comedy central tries to bill itself as an edgy station but as long as it tries to appeal to the dumbest audience possible that will never be the case

usually when bbc releases a tv series one is used to a certain satisfaction guarantee usually the tv series is splendid even if the story is boring you can trust the acting will make the it worth while when i came across persuasion here at the local library i was looking forward to an enjoyable evening cause i read the story im glad i read the story first otherwise i would not think highly of it further was i relieved to learn that the production date of this tv series was from since i thought until that moment that bbc had lost it it is really bad and should be used in acting schools as a horror movie the only positive thought i have about this series that the people in this film are not likely to appear or be involved in any bbc or other product this century other than the young musgroves sisters who apparently were taking their fist steps in acting and doing remarkably well under the direction otherwise given

if it werent for the editing out of curse words and a superimposed blur when one character give another the finger it would be easy to mistake this low budget snoozer for a sci fi channel pilot the plot about the governments attempts to destroy a group of telekinetics it originally trained as military weapons ends ambiguously enough with the hero himself gifted in pursuit of a telekinetic survivor bent on revenge alas the movie is talky boring predictable and even devoid of interesting special effects top billed louis gossett jr has a minor role as the evil government bureaucrat who originated the program and now wants to eliminate all traces he walks through the part and it is hard to understand why he bothered other members of the cast do a decent job with a script that demands little

i admit it now this is one of the lamest films ever made but in mr sjogrens defense the not really scene wasnt all bad and you gotta love the effort of going all the way to sweden just to find a sweet swedish year old blonde have her speak swedish posing as the jewish mother of henry dennis hopper what makes this scene so perfect is that henrys father answers the blonde swedish speakingjewish girl in german the best actor actress of all in the film must be the nun who takes care of henrys mother this is a woman who has had no experience whatsoever of acting but still puts in the most convincing performance of all all and all this flick is nostalgia for me personally it is after all what gave me a posting on imdbs database d feelin like a movie star*

its hard to make a negative statement here after all this raving about how great deed poll is how wonderful the actors did and so on and so on i did not like the film its crappy there are orgies they have taboo sex gay sex bi sex oral sex rape anal sex masturbation brother sister sex brother brother sex sex on drugs sex without drugs sex sex sex seems to rule their world i guess the director is desperately in need of a getting laid the story is just dirty and shameful i wonder what made those people get up with this story and above all who cares the technical stuff didnt satisfy me as well the sound is poor so is the editing and the direction is absent the actors are admittedly fine but guess what its their job their job is to act no need to jump off your seats if an actor did a decent job do you applause when a bus driver brings you home safely see i gave it because after all this thing had something that i cant put in words b movie charm camp fun nudity i dont know

wow what exciting visual effects i also loved the costumes and artwork the circus and ethereal feel to the film was sublime it just required the need for the viewer to worry about the fate of our protagonist as she is trapped in her imagination there is never a sense of peril unlike say david lynchs films which haunt every time this also draws attention to which age group this film is aimed at who would this engage mirrormask is obviously going to draw comparisons with labyrinth with the teen angst fantasy theme but unfortunately it doesnt really come close to delivering the same henson essence the ill mother theme is never fully explained and certainly not something that you care about while lapping up the eye candy not agonisingly awful a la the cell nor as engagingly dreamlike as labyrinth a forgettable but good looking fantasy

shut the front door thats what i said when i was told that blockbuster got a new movie in called snakes on a train okay maybe thats not exactly what i said but you get the point i didnt need to know who was in the movie or anything else all i knew was that i am renting this movie i probably should have asked what it was about though in retrospect i dont know if i would have really wanted to watch a movie about a mayan curse that causes a woman to give internal birth to snakes and have them spit out of her mouth nor would i want to see a movie that features a guy who looks strangely enough like a pedophilic version of leif garrett anyways while the curse might be interesting on some levels well maybe not there was still promise of these annoying characters getting eaten or at the very least killed by snakes so i was willing to sit through the first hour of very little happening other than a texas ranger forcing a girl into a nice little titty grope so she can keep her cocaine or the hispanic shaman that likes to occasionally stab people but then all hell broke loose and the girl started to spit out more and more snakes *spoiler alert* so everythings going well at the end and im willing to overlook the fact that some of these snakes all of the sudden turned out to be feet long after all people are getting eaten so its all good but then all of the sudden and im not going to tell you how because that would ruin the best part one of the snakes is about feet long then it proceeds to squeeze and devour the train with all the graphic artistry of serpentaur from the old gi joe cartoons unfortunately i could not make a nemesis enforcer connection with this movie anyways so you would think that a snake that big who ate a train would be pretty unstoppable well not if you know your mayan voodoo rocks and have the ability to summon tornadoes from heaven yeah thats all ill say about that in short this movie is bad really bad to the point where you might be numb after watching this or your brain might hurt i didnt give this a one because no matter how stupid it was it still wasnt as bad as date movie so if you like camp or badly constructed b horror movies this is the one for you if you think this will actually be cool like its bigger more infamous brethren just walk away from the box if you see it and ill leave you with a quote from the movie that should basically sum it all up snakes cant get on a train because thats just silly not like they make stops or anything

welli like patricia kaas she is a beautiful lady and an extremely gifted and versatile singer her acting in this film is more than competent and from my point of view about the only redeeming feauture of this film she very gently captures the essence of the lonely singer with a very serious helath problem however what i tremendously dislike about the film is the shameless product placement for a well known french chain of hotels the other thing is that the story seems to meander for way to long without really deciding what the film is about and what it wants to be on a positive note you may argue that the film is not predictable but you could also say its plainly boring because of the lack of cohesion there are some nice shots in the film bujt you cant help thinking that all the parts just dont add up to anything at all it really is a pity bevcause kaas really shines in this film

i just saw princess raccoon at the asian film festival in new york the gentleman who introduced the film congratulated the audience on their fine taste you could be at herbie fully loaded he said with a smug smile but instead youre here to watch seijun suzukis princess raccoon the audience applauded and cheered well let me tell you i would have rather watched herbie fully loaded twice in a row princess raccoon an allegedly whimsical musical based on japanese folklore easily qualifies for one of the ten worst films that i have ever seen it is so wretched that its wretchedness actually makes me dislike other seijun suzuki films which is quite a feat there is such a vast expanse of things wrong with princess raccoon that i hardly know where to start perhaps its worst faults are being both aggressively unintelligible and mind bogglingly monotonous if the reels got mixed up or if half of them got lost in shipping the audience would not know the difference if you dont believe me i dare you to steal a print and have someone run the reels in random order if you can tell me which one goes where i will give you every penny i have the first third of the film features a mishmash of scenes songs including a cringe inducing rap number and images that dont seem to be related in any way at all horribly integrated computer animation is thrown into the bargain adding yet another brick to the immense and rapidly growing wall of incomprehensibility it wouldnt surprise me to learn that the writer wrote down any japanese folklore that came to mind of on a bunch of note cards stacked them up shuffled them dealt the cards out on a table and then wrote the script according to their order about thirty five minutes into the film some semblance of a plot arrives on the scene something about a shape shifting raccoon princess in human form and a regular human falling in love i hoped that this was be a portent of the film being something other than a series of perplexing scenes but no such luck the film continues in the same absolutely baffling manner i wish i had gotten out then but i was trapped in the middle of a narrow row in retrospect it would have been worth the awkward scene im exhausted just thinking about the last couple of reels i spent every moment hoping and praying that it would be over every big dolly move swell in music or scene that looked remotely like it was concluding things renewed my hopes that the credits were about to roll for agonizing minute after agonizing minute it went on and on and on and on finally after dozens of false alarms it cut to what i was sure must be an abstract pattern over which credits were about to appear then in defiance of all reason it cut to another scene how could i forget the completely unrelated subplot concerning a ninja being captured urinated on and boiled in a soup hadnt been wrapped up yet im never going to get those minutes back but you can spare yourself the pain unless you want to taint your memory or future enjoyment of great seijun suzuki films like youth of the beast and tokyo drifter do not see princess raccoon i would have rather spent my time vomiting

this film is about a grieving wife who lost her husband through suicide she is tormented by her son who refused to speak after that child grief is rarely explored on film so it is refreshing to see a film like addisons wall however due to the very nature of the film there is no tension or drama apart from a few key emotional moments everything in the film is very plain the abrupt ending that does not solve any mysteries certainly do not help the film to be more watchable addisons wall could have been much better such as exploration of the contents of the wall a more intensive care program to help addison to go through his trauma instead the film feels very unfinished and non engaging

this movie although well shot and superbly acted was awful i felt as if i was watching a car accident sure i kept watching but i really wanted to turn my head the plot leaves little to be desired was extremely disjointed and the ending was abysmal although it did fit the tone of the movie i was hoping for something to improve this movie i still dont understand what the references to rabies and the child get bit by the fox at the beginning of the movie fifteen minutes of plot that really didnt do much its really sad to see a movie with fine actors and a beautiful set wasted on such an awful awful story theres not much more to say about this movie save yourself the time and watch c span itll be more uplifting

my tolerance for shlocky direction was overwhelmed by some of the choices in this could be really good time waster when the romantic intervals were of a nature to take me out of the story and into how and why did the movie maker do that mode you got to figure something is missing in there restraint and tastefulness i think brian brown is a capable empathetic actor usually i think he didnt like the project or the people and it shows i dont remember anything the other guy did cant even picture his face on the other hand it doesnt have to be any good to be entertaining some of the vignettes and twists are fun and even ingenious i watched this movie $ purchase at the vid rental place against the advice of the screenwriter i understand he was tempted to remove his name from the credits matter of pride i bet

ok if you are a fan of mystery science theater and love to mock movies then you will have a lot of fun with this otherwise it may really be too painful to see plot obsessed cryptozoologist sneaks a huge crate containing a chupacabra onto a cruise ship apparently not having to declare it at customs or even mention that hes bringing aboard a live animal no really its research equipment the air holes are just an accident some dipsticks he hired to lade it open the crate figuring he paid bunches of money maybe theres something to steal once the wood crate is open the chupacabra breaks through the steel bars inside and goes on a killing rampage yeah whatever by a stroke of sheer coincidence a marshall i assume a us marshall since he was in the gulf war not just some guy named marshall is on board investigating some money that went missing from the ships safe hes posing as an insurance salesman lady im the best insurance youve got other scintillating characters include the captain john rhys davies and sadly his dignity is the first victim of the film his tae bo instructor daughter snicker tae bo an annoying old stuck up lady with a tiny dog which should be fed to a cat guess what eats it and an incredibly unpleasant gigolo who might have been believable in a movie made in not in anything more recent much of the acting was really bad and the characters were just there so that you can laugh hysterically when they died overall screamingly bad bad on many levels bad bad bad what bullets dont even make chupacabra flinch but the tae bo bimbo can punch him and scare him away hey sci fi channel you desperate for scripts or what

yes it was an awful movie but there was a song near the beginning of the movie i think called i got a woody or something to that effect i would love to find a sound track of that if there is one available i saw this song on mst k and as awful as it was it had its moments and that song was one of them if you like babes in bikinis this is the movie for you but if you dont then dont bother it was great material for mst k i have to admit though i would really love to know where to get a copy of the soundtrack though not just that song but a couple more were really funny and are classics as far as im concerned

i normally finish every movie or book i start even if theyre poor just cause i hate giving up on them this was so poorly made i was in disbelief im not just looking for spielberg magic i rent foreign films and i rent really old sci fis most recently soylent green worth the rent i like both hollywood action and slower moving character development different films need to be approached differently to be appreciated i could find no redeeming element to this one the action was so wooden i wasnt the least bit on edge the character development was virtually absent youre not left feeling sorry for anyone or even identifying with them finally there were so many pieces that just didnt add up dont waste your time better to watch paint dry

i have watched this movie twice in the past six months what i go through so you dont have tothe first viewing left me half crazed and babblingthe second viewing at am on a rainy morn was a little betteri only screamed in agony once seems pocona the aztec mummyhad the hots for a certain aztec princess who wassupposed to keep her maidenobviously they gave each other the business and were put to death for itnow that is severebut before they are the film tries to put us to death with a screeching aztec ceremonythe singing will make your ears bleed anyhow there is the usual reincarnation nonsense not to mention a treasure map on a breastplate & bracelet guarded by that swathed slobpoconaby this time pocona looks like hes been on a year bender and is after the defilers of his tombhis groans & moans sounds like he has a bad case of montezumas revengeor he read the script for this moviethat will make your breath stink an evil dr von krupp appears wanting the aztec treasurepossibly to finance acting lessons & screenwriting classes for cast & crewhe is called the bat because in the curse of the aztec mummy he wore a bat like cape hat and something like a ski mask over his faceguess its better than the laughing fat man the bat in typical mad scientist fashion wants to rule the world he stresses this by rolling his eyeslaughing maniacally and chewing the sceneryhe has cobbled together an invincible robotlooks like the bot was made from a garbage can a chandelier and the grill of a buickthis will make your eyes bleeda company even takes credit for making this tin can well the mighty showdown between pocona and the robot takes place in the mummys new crypt having been made homeless earlier about half of this movie is culled from la aztec momianever released in the us in its original form but in a chopped atrocity from jerry warrensee my review on attack of the mayan mummy and curse of the aztec mummythe robot is frankly stupid as are most of the charactersif that and the plot doesnt make you howl with laughter nothing will my first impression was so bad it would have gotten a one but after seeing mayan mummywhich is a movie deserving of being burned and watching robot again it garners a you have to watch this with no expectations at all then it can be naively pleasant

for the first fifteen minutes the story of naked fame is interesting two late thirties male porn stars in a seemingly healthy relationship decide to leave the porn industry and try for the world of singing and acting the two very buff and preening men are colton ford and blake harper with the aid of kevin aviance and marc berkely colton makes a dance track that is then marketed in new york with the hopes that colton ford will become an instant star a unique disco singer touting his background as a porn star for pr the remainder of the film is grumbling and in fighting and commentary by porn producer chichi larue and the film slowly sinks into repetition and doldrums not a bad idea for a film if there were a bit more depth revealed in each characters drive to move away form a successful career though one greatly influenced by the youth both characters have lost into an alternative one it is just that a one note song wears thin quickly grady harp november

there are a number of movies that my high school friends and i used to joke about they are mostly the campy works of the s that showed up on television on the late show this was one of our favorites the soul of a fallen native being brought to life in a tree stump with a scowl on its face now my friends claimed that if you looked carefully you could see the thing had shoes i never saw this what is most striking to me is that the natives seemed to be white men with black grease paint on their faces some looked sort of italian they also spoke with the strangest timbre that didnt seem to fit their situation like the mummy movies the mobility of the thing didnt seem to offer much of a threat in a confrontation one should only have to walk fast i guess its the old element of surprise if you see this dont take it too seriously be happy that we have a battery of old horror movies that gave us such joy

given the subject matter of drug addiction down to the bone almost cant help but be a rather depressing film but depressing doesnt necessarily have to mean bad unfortunately in this case it is in fact pretty bad the film has some good things going for it most notably the quality performance of vera farmiga in the central role of irene a working mom struggling with a cocaine addiction but there isnt enough good here to outweigh the bad the films failings lie mainly with the story which fails to captivate and never really seems to get going irene goes to rehab and comes home to a clueless husband who has no idea how to support her attempt to kick her habit irene grows close to another recovering addict a male nurse from her rehab center complications ensue but the story never really sparks to life it doesnt seem as if the movie is really going anywhere you can say its a stark realistic look at the day to day struggles of an addict maybe so but in this case it doesnt make for an interesting movie the whole thing has a very blah feel to it the minimalist cinematography doesnt help matters adding another layer of drab to the incredibly drab proceedings and none of the other performances measure up to farmigas hugh dillon is ok as irenes male nurse friend but nobody else in the cast adds anything of value to the proceedings all in all this movie is a bleak depressing and rather dull ride

if anyone at national lampoon is reading this please stop the crap your pulling out of your bum really now why the hell are you doing movies like these theyre not funny and watching it for the sexual content is a complete waste of time really it is such a horrible movie you may want to shoot yourself while your watching it i am serious here guys it makes harol and kumar go to blah blah blah look like an actual good movie and we all know that h&k is one of the worst movies ever made it really sucks it really does how bad it is well even losers that actually like national lampoon shall hate this movietheyll want to murder the director i swear to god i hate you national lampoon die already die

the other lowest rating reviewers have summed up this sewage so perfectly there seems little to add i must stress that ive only had the cockney filth imposed on me during visits from my children who insist on watching the sunday omnibus my god its depressing like all soaps it consists entirely of totally unlikeable characters being unpleasant to each other but its ten times as bad as the next worst one could be the reviewer who mocked the true to life bilge spouted by its defenders was spot on if anyone lived in a social environment like this theyd slash their wrists within days and i can assure anyone not familiar with the real east end that its rather more ethnically enriched than youll ever see here take my advice avoid this nadir of the british tv industry it is evil

jeez this was immensely boring the leading man christian schoyen has got to be the worst actor i have ever seen and another thing if the character in the movie moved to america when he was ten or something and had been living here for over years he would speak a lot better english than what he pulls of here or to say it in my own language skikkelig gebrokkent but it is cool to see norwegian dudes in a movie made in hollywood it was just a damn shame they were talentless hacks the storyline itself is below mediocre i have a suspicion that christian schoyen did this movie just to live the dream as he clearly does in the film by humping one beautiful babe after another

thanks to silly horror movies like troll and the indescribably atrocious cult favorite troll it has become practically impossible to take movies with kobolds gnomes and various other types of little green hobgoblins seriously these days only just recently i watched the s made for tv movie dont be afraid of the dark which is basically a quite terrifying and serious toned film about domestic little goblin monsters and yet i still couldnt help thinking back about the laugh inducing potato headed critters dressed in garbage bags that were running amok in troll same thing happened to me now as much as i tried going into inhabited with a clear mindset unconsciously i kept comparing the supposedly creepy and menacing garden fairies with the badly sculptured goblins of nilbog still even without all the prejudices inhabited is a remotely entertaining albeit unmemorable straight to video horror flick its a cheesy soft and politically correct pastiche of family drama and northern europe mythology the annoying and murderous little creatures in this movie arent your plain average goblins they are the huldre wicked little norwegian demons that live underground and attempt to chase happy families out of their houses through influencing the youngest children this overcomes the russell family as they move into their ramshackle dream house in a remote little town the cherubic blond daughter of milf actress megan gallagher starts to behave strangely whenever she hangs out in the cute play house in the back of the garden she claims her friends are fairies and even though the sinister handyman also warns for strange occurrences in the past ginas parents simply think the girl has troubles adjusting to her new neighborhood when she keeps rattling about fairies they arrange an appointment with the acclaimed psychologist dr werner whilst the huldre are slowly coming out of their botanical shelter not much special to mention here the pace is acceptable and the attempts to build up suspense are pretty cute you understand this is a family friendly horror movie so no bloody murder sequences are graphically being shown here heck even the cadaver of the familys pet cat is kept off screen this is the umpteenth nonsensical horror movie in which malcolm mcdowell pops up and he practically always depicts an unreliable greedy and self centered authority figure

charlie chaplin responds to open auditions at lodestone studios rival ben turpin arrives at the same studio obviously another unemployed comedian turpin tries to horn in on chaplins action after the studio head hollers next chaplin manages to walk in over turpin however charlie amusingly manages to botch jobs as an actor and carpenter in the end he manages to get a big break but will a star be born there are a lot of jokes involving the buttocks the initial scene involving slapstick from chaplin and turpin is a relative highlight note that gloria swanson is the typist in the far background left on your screen in the films opening agnes ayres also appears *** his new job charles chaplin ~ charlie chaplin ben turpin charlotte mineau

okay i guess im pretty much a fan of spindled mutilated and destroyed stephen king stories when they reach the screen as any of us sad masochists out here i know full well that most of them are done poorly i expect it i plan on it i humbly allow for it but this time geeeeeeeeeeeeez okay so i think i saw this thing a number of years ago fine i thought i remembered that it was pretty good wrong like im saying granted in a wordy annoying roundabout way i really wasnt trying to be snobby or expect much but what was this thing a mini series i have only one thing to say drawn out how can you possibly justify dragging the thing out minute by minute scene by scene of friggin endless completely meaningless and mind numbingly slow dialog i mean every bl**dy scene is two people discussing how they feel and back and forth and drag it bl**dy well out after about an hour and a half which i think is about of the running time i didnt check sorry i finally got totally fed up after an hour and a half what had happened other than the original accident they were running away while the shop guy was killing eye doctors news photographers and lots & lots & lots of meandering dialog im sorry i promise that it is not that i have to have non stop mindless action i love lots of films where not much happens but in them at least when they do talk and such meaningful things are being said and characters are being deepened thoughts are being conveyed something okay i admit that the actors in and of themselves were not too bad except stephen king of course i liked the shop guy i thought both of the older people were fine i liked the general and the main woman its just if they could have cut out all of the hours of filler thats all im saying i mean its supposed to be a sci fi thriller sort of right you know what really took the prize when the shop guy was needlessly making one of his many time filling telephone calls this time he is talking to god knows who getting all emotional for him anyway and acting like he cant handle it wtf the guy has clearly been shown to be a cold blooded efficient killer what the hell was that about so just multiply that by about and that is basically why i finally turned if off about half way through it was either that or hang myself i swear i mean there are other king adaptations out there that are lame but at least they move along oh well i guess perhaps if you maybe are into the story itself and dont mind crawling along and have the supreme & divine patience to wait until the end it might be worthwhile but i sincerely and humbly doubt it i dont write these things very often but this time i just had to or i wouldnt be able to sleep at night like i did during the show

i havent seen many movies worse than this one the story line the dialogues the acting its horror the story just jumps from a to b to c without any logical steps in between every time you think youve missed something but no that was the way it was intended to be and why on earth is the character that jenny garth portrays so in love with that no no loser guy who actually now plays in the movie cinderella man with russel crow o well its no spielberg of course i have to write ten lines to get posted this movie really isnt inspiring enough to write lines its a romantic feel good movie with a lousy story so if youre up for that youll have a ball

well first and for most id just like to say that im back out of retirement from writing well deserved comments about horrible movies only the movie in titled scarecrow gone wild could bring me back so here i am with that being said i like to start off with this comment ouch this movie was really horrible i mean i know it was going to be bad but i had no idea that i would be spending minutes out of a possible minute film laughing at what i thought was a horror movie lets start with the biggest flaw of the film to me that is ken shamrock now if memory serves me correctly shamrock is one of the worlds most dangerous men now if memory serves me again he was also in this stupid movie being a stupid comic relief or thats how it looked to me i mean how else do you explain all of his lines my all time favorite line of his in this so called movie was its been a long time coming ok the funnest thing about that line was that no more then five minutes prior to him say that he was sitting on the beach talking to the soon to be dead kids about how the dam scarecrow could not be killed so if he has knowledge of this why on earth would he start trying to combat it as soon as he sees it the scarecrow that it like i said before he must have been the comic relief except i dont think his ufc buddies where laughing now that ive finished that well deserved paragraph on to the movie ill admit that i cant remember a lot of scenes and thats not good considering that i just watch the movie no more then fifteen minutes ago so what im going to do is list the top five things wrong with this film usually when horror movie monster have their own theme music its not heard by the victims or even by the monster itself so why were just about every person involved in this movie able to here this pathetic whistling i mean i saw the scarecrows face and nothing about it said that he was the whistling type why on earth were there murders on a beach im sorry but threw out history beaches are associated with party time and vacation type feelings but i guess this horror movie thought it was going to be such a success that it would change all of that plus was it me or did the beach seem to be the size of someone living room i mean every time an actor or actress was running around on the beach it looked as if they were running in the same spot the girl running in the gray sweat pants that really bother during the duration of this film i mean she looks so ridiculous plus it didnt help any that she looked as though she was the youngest out of the whole group i mean what was she like twelve or something there no excuse for someone to be that thin on camera i mean doesnt the camera add like ten pounds or something so what was her excuse people trying to get record deals on camera just when i thought that this movie could not get any cheesier out comes the wanna be gorth brooks and oh man was he lame i dont remember the whole scene but from what i do remember it was not pretty this one guy starts singing this song about something that has nothing and i mean nothing to do with whats going on in the film the funniest part of the whole happening is how everyone seems to being enjoying this i mean the only person who doesnt really know how to response to this is the token black guy and thats sad because if im not mistaken he was the one that encourage this latest addition of american idoal but heres where it gets funny while this guy is all into his new song or whatever in the far distance we see or villain aka the scarecrow and boy does he look pi**ed off at this i mean theres actually a moment where he looks like hes really jealous of this guy so what does he do about this jealousy well im glad you ask he waits for the guy to finish his song and then he finises the guy i dont want to give the death scene away but i can tell you this if that scene doesnt make you laugh then nothing on this earth will this movie was way longer then i expected and it didnt help that they tried to pulled some pathetic twist bulls**t at the end to squeeze another minutes out of this film i mean ill admit i didnt see the twist coming but that had a lot to do with the fact that i was hoping that the film was over and done with but no they had to do they twist s**t needless to say that when i say that coming i just turned off the tv and said f**k it theres no way that movie could have gotten any worser thanks to my rather fast judgment i can say that ill never know what was to happen next but i promise that i do not care all and all the movie is good for a laugh but please dont buy it just hype it up to one of your friends and watch it on there expanse

i dont understand the humor in this film i also found it offensive on how koreans were depicted in that film despite how it is actually just a caricature of koreans in those areas first the actors are japanese and they make the most rude expressions of koreans in that film it disgusts me on how these people are expressed i felt anger just watching that one scene and how they were so badly made out in the film the humor lasts just for one laugh and then you dont understand why its even funny its crude humor with the most disgusting representation of society there i found it to be an offensive film overall maybe it was just because i never lived in the hood or saw any hood movies but i dont intend to either

i am insulted and angry over the idea that a sequel to gone with the wind should ever have been undertaken having expressed that i have no problem with the quality of the acting or the actors in this film the performers are talented people whose talents were wasted on this piece of garbage the hype surrounding this book and film just happens to be an exercise in futility i think it will go down as one of the misguided films of hollywood i dont believe that the beloved characters created by margaret mitchell should have been soiled by the ideas and interpretations of another writer the film and the book should be on the list of worst ideas conceived in the world of publishing and film making the sad thing is that people actually made money off of this tripe

after the general a film that romanticized the life of dublin gangster the general to such heroic proportions that it made the average dublin person sick along come kevin and his attempted portrayal of mr lynch or martin cahill aka the general the acting is so bad that this crime drama becomes a comedy for the native dub and a tragedy for the kevin spacey fan in short is the movie worth a look no unless u like bad acting with hilarious proper irish accents ah sure to be sure to be sure the story is ripped off from the commercially successful the general which despite is glorification of a well known dublin animal in martin cahill is still worth a look on a domestic scale because it shows real working class dublin and on an international scale because of he true irish acting and killer cast including john voight all in all ordinary decent criminal is anything but a decent film avoid

one of low budget horror schlockmeister actor john carradines more animated roles as a implied nazi scientist who is turning humans into zombies to serve the reich mindless scuffling brain dead only able to obey the most simple of ordersbit like staff in mcdonalds hitler isnt mentioned by name since america wasnt at war at the time they was filmed but its pretty obvious who the bad guys are working for there seems to be two types of zombies in film the traditional voodoo type popular in the old black & white films of the s and s blank eyed and just following the commands of someone else as they stumble along and then there is the type we know from later films like the night of the living dead and the evil dead still roaming about but with only the intention to kill and eat the flesh and brains of their victims both have their moments in various movies over the years revenge features the former zombie type although these are particularly goofy looking and would look more at home in an old time freak shows as geeks as they bite the heads off chickens one black zombie named lazarus with his wild hair looks like a young don king as to the plot the evil doctor decides to make his wife a zombie along with the others and thats where he makes his mistake even though he lets her keep her strappy heels as a nice womanly touch as he turns her into one of the living dead shes not happy about it it all goes horribly wrong and ends in tears and the moral of the tale must be never ever turn your wife into a zombie its just asking for trouble the film is interesting enough and it quickly rolls along to a finish but never rises above its poverty row origins not a patch on any true zombie classics but fun just the same

**may contain spoilers** the main character a nobleman named fallon is stranded on an island with characters so looney and lethal he might have been better off drowning count lorente de sade pronounced dee sayd talks to his own hallucinations and sees all intruders on the island as invading pirates he routinely beats mute servant anne and tortures his unwilling guests in the dungeon inadvertant laughs are provided by giant nubian slave mantis who talks with a deep south accent and helps de sade hunt down trespassers in the style of the most dangerous game de sades crazed wife ravaged by leprosy provides some truly scary moments as she prowls the dungeon and embraces a helplessly chained prisoner this scene was viewed on late night tv by many kids who carried the memory into adulthood the one nearly normal person in sight is cassandra who has self deprecation down to a science i used to be a nurse now im not much of anything she and fallon plan their escape and ultimately encounter an enemy more fearsome than de sade and mantis combined this movie was shot in san antonio and directed by a man more competent at drawing horror comics than making horror movies ill say this much for mr boyette he does showcase his fixatation with contagion here as he did in his comics its rather like an andy milligan melodrama minus the meat cleavers the period wardrobe library music abuse of the handicapped and all around misanthropy makes one wonder if andy wasnt called in as a consultant however milligan made better costumes and wrote better dialogue technical gaffes are too numerous to list here but you know this flick is in trouble when you see the opening shipwreck which looks like it was shot in a fish tank also a film made in texas should have had real spiders and snakes rather than rubber ones glorious eastmancolor gives this melodrama the garish look it so richly deserves fallons initial encounter with the leprous countess is truly horrifying as is the movies parting shot if the rest had been half as harrowing the dungeon of harrow would have been a terror classic instead its a funny piece of schlock that trash fiends will love for all the wrong reasons

the most die hard worshippers of john wayne will cringe when they watch the lawless frontier even for a poverty row studio this one is one stinkeroo unusual for a western we have a criminal who is a sex crime perpetrator earl dwire plays a halfbreed white and indian who for reasons that are not explained pretends hes a mexican hokey accent and all dwire sounds like the frito bandito of advertising fame back in the day he and his gang happen upon gabby hayes and his daughter sheila terry they really dont have anything worth robbing but dwire just wants an excuse to kidnap terry and have his way with her she hears the dastardly fate she has in store and she and hayes flee the ranch where they happen to meet john wayne whos on the trail of the bandits they also run into one very stupid sheriff who believes wayne is one of the bandits again for reasons i cant quite fathom it was a tough way to earn a living grinding out horse operas like these for the duke fortunately better things were on the way

this must be the most boring film i ever saw the only positive i can say about it is that thankfully i didnt pay to see it we were given a free showing in school and everyone in the audience just sat there embarrassed wondering when the fun would start this piece of junk is a badly filmed way too long film the actual idea on why making the movie took about seconds to present the only ones who can be interested in this film are those who lost their jobs and want to know why they might find some of the interviews interesting a different edit might have made an interesting documentary of this but i doubt it the interviews shown were not engaging in any way as it is it is just a tragedy both to behold and to be a part of avoid this film at any cost

i havent laughed so much in a theater in years the only problem is that it was not the intent of the movie to make my throat raw from laughter this movie is absolutely overflowing with bad cgi absolutely terrible duologue absolutely terrible *acting* and enough geek references to make the whole thing come off as nothing but complete cheese as a gamer and a geek type girl myself i did recognize all of the obvious game references in this movie as well as the geek stuff that was just thrown into the background as eye candy the steamboy poster the t shirts from thinkgeekcom and j listcom and that didnt redeem the movie at all the only thing that might have been good at all were the ghost children type characters that were purposefully badly done in cgi to make it look like they were from a game and who were obviously stolen from japanese horror movies to be honest it was hilariously bad and something id expect from a midnight showing of a made for tv b grade sci fi channel movie dont expect more than that and youll have a great time just dont get a soda or youll spit it everywhere when you get great lines like why did you bring that game into our lives why

the final installment in the karate kid series is predictable poorly acted and so bad it borders on the enjoyable but not quite its just bad in this installment ralph macchios karate kid is absent already having been in one too many of the episodes the new kid played by hillary swank is the teenage granddaughter of one of mr miyogis wwii buddies her parents are recently deceased and her grandmother is unsuccessfully trying to raise this young hellion in steps mr miyogi to set things right true to formula there is a group of neo fascist bullies called the alpha troopers that must be put in their place and a new karate move called the praying mantis as i said before this movie is a mess and should be avoided

three words what a pile two words dont bother one word sucked there are zero reasons to see this movie even those seagal groupies should shy away from this movie the martial arts the typical aikido are horrible the martial arts moves themselves are fine but the cinematography is pathetic the movie actually goes into slow motion whenever seagal give his kill move to his victims worse yet is shows the same move three times in rapid succession from three slightly different angles how stupid seagals acting was plain stupid but i still give this movie a for acting because of the supporting cast whose villain roles were actually quite entertaining the plot is just dumb seagal plays a federal express agent with a license to kill his character also has that dedicated work ethic which means all of his packages get delivered to the correct people on time at no extra charge and nothing stands in his way not assassins political leaders explosions or even death i expect a certain level of violence in a martial arts film but there are several scenes in this movie of random and horrible acts of violence that lend itself in no way to the advancement of the movie or its story there is a reason this movie went directly to video and there are tons of reasons to avoid it no one should bother with this tripe

this movie is the worst thing ever created by humans you think manos is the worst movie ever it doesnt even come close to this garbage i dont even know where to begin the russian commander and the rebel chic are the worst actors ever to appear in a movie they make the sister in troll look like meryl streep the goofy faces the chic makes while shes in kung fu training have to be seen to be believed then there is the oompa music during the prison break the totally out of place love scene the stupid song that plays during the out of place love scene the fake castro the fact that everybody has either a headband and or a bandanna on some part of their body the goofiest rape scene ever filmed and the worst acting ever put on film this movie deserves to be more well known among bad movie fans definitely the worst movie ever made

it borrowed scenes from lotr matrix star wars etc the humor is so dry contrived and corny that you cant help but laugh occasionally at its inanity and the fact that you are watching it exactly what youd expect from an hk comedy the average person would enter with an iq of and leave with less than stephen chow is an obvious omission from this movie the humor would have worked better with stephen the mandarin version of this movie is not as good as the cantonese original the graphics are poor compared to its hollywood counterparts there is overdependence on low quality cg my biggest complaint is its ending the origin of the white horse is so clearly described in the journey to the west jw that this alternate explanation does not work well with story line despite its many flaws this movie has far more entertainment value than the other movie nicholas tse starred in the promise

a group of tourists are stranded on snake island after an unfortunate accident with their boat they are forced to spend the night and as you probably suspected it isnt called snake island because its just soooooo much fun to say it has a history of people disappearing one by one because of the large snake population which is just what happens with these poor dumb souls this is a very boring and typical movie with tons of off screen snake attacks and lousy performances from nobody actors the only somewhat entertaining scene was an absolutely unnecessary and forced strip scene which aint anything couldnt see in a pg rated movie folks if you are into snake movies than check out sssssss but dont torture yourself with this crap

you would think that a film that starred three of the biggest male film stars of the post world war ii era would have become a classic these three who also happen to be three favorites of mine walk around in a daze looking like theyd rather be any place but there the sad thing is that the way west definitely had some potential to be a classic in these days of political correctness a film about american pioneers and the travails of their westward migration is something not done now it should have been better done back then kirk douglas is a former united states senator whos heading a wagon train west to build a settlement in oregons willamette valley being hes an ex politician he rates above the hoi ploi hes leading the script calls for him to have not only a covered wagon but a carriage to lead the train you think thats ludicrous you ought to see the whipping scene where douglas orders his black servant played by roy glenn to whip him i wont spoil it by saying what causes douglas to demand this of glenn but trust me its bad robert mitchum is the trail guide and of the three stars he looks the most bored there was supposed to be considerable friction on the set between widmark and douglas but mitchum just saunters through the film above it all maybe the friction helped somewhat because the movie calls for douglas a widower to have an eye on mrs widmark played by lola albright now shes the best looking thing in the movie the film billing says introducing sally field this was made in between her gidget and her flying nun days she plays a piece of white southern trash with the musical comedy name of mercy mcbee we first see her in the movie sitting on the back of her parents wagon legs akimbo and inviting of course she gets taken up on her invitation her character is something like whats found in every trailer park in america and then again what was a wagon train but one large trailer park on the move despite this film sally field went on to a two oscar career what that woman had to overcome victor mclaglens son andrew directed this item and together with a lousy script turned this into a turgid mess shame on andrew mclaglen hes certainly done better in his career and so will you unless youre a stargazer

i am a fan of bad horror films of the s and s films so ridiculous and silly that they are good for a laugh so because of this its natural that id choose this film especially because with john agar in it it was practically guaranteed to be bad sadly while it was a bad film it was the worst type of bad film dull beyond belief and unfunny at least with stupid and over the top bad films you can laugh at the atrocious monsters and terrible direction and acting here you never really see that much of the monster mostly due to the darkness of the print and the acting while bad is more low energy badlistless and dull the film begins with some young adults going to satans hollow to neck well considering the name of the place its not surprising when they are later found chewed to pieces duhdont go necking at satans hollow well there are reports of some sort of crashing object from the sky so what do the teens go yep throw a dance party a very very very slow dance party where the kids almost dance in slow motion so its up to the sheriff agar and his men to ensure that the teens can dance in peace without fear of mastication as for the monster its some guy in a gorilla suit with a silly mask a bit like the monster in robot monster not exactly original and not exactly high tech to make it worse it makes snorting noises and moves very very slowly so slow that even the most corpulent teen could easily outrun it how it manages to kill repeatedly is beyond me overall too dull to like even if you are a fan of lousy cinema

go fish garnered rose troche rightly or wrongly the reputation of a film maker with much promise its then hard to understand how she could turn out a movie made up of stereotypes that one associates with inferior sitcoms the entire film rings hollow i cringed the whole way through its supposed to be a look into nineties human sexuality well not much more here to be learned than from in and out by now most of us actually do know that there are men who are sexually attracted to women and there men who are sexually attracted to men and there are even men sexually attracted to both sexes seldom has this revelation been portrayed on the screen with so little wit and style pathetic

strangeland is a terrible horror technological thriller dee snider plays carleton hendricks a disgusting computer freak who prays on young girls through the chat rooms his ridiculous philosophies on pain and suffering are both misguided and totally unfounded there is no tie to reality with the ideas that are presented in this film it is more like dee snider sat down and tried to think up the weirdest stuff possible to impress horror fans and maybe some of his old fans but the end result is just awful unfortunately for me as a horror fan the cover of this movie looks very good and it immediately caught my interest which is the main reason that i was tricked into watching it i assure you that this is not a quality horror movie it is a disturbing yet boring attempt to suggest what might go on in the minds of people who treat themselves the way the carleton hendricks did in this film the sad part is that no one does this stuff to themselves marilyn freakin manson doesnt even go that far and the fact that he had a song on the soundtrack makes it clear that the film wasnt meant to poke fun at his type of music that would be a stab at snider himself it is more like dee snider was trying to raise himself from the career dead and present himself as a sick minded individual once more dee it seems that the time has come to let it all die

the affair is a very bad tv movie from the s starring the then husband wife team of robert wagner and natalie wood as hesitant lovers she has polio and leads a reclusive existence as a pop song writer hes an ambitious lawyer who is very outgoing and absolutely smitten with her their affair such as it is is doomed from the start and she knows it but goes along with it anyway two things to watch for if you are trapped into watching this woods jane fonda hairdo that is never mussed no matter what and a tune she sings early in this dreadful flick she sings it for four or five or six minutes so you know its classic padding between commercials it also is one of the worst songs ever written and the woman doing woods singing voice should have been shot and put out of her misery also keep an eye out for all the peasant tops and dresses by comparison wagner looks relatively timeless with close cropped hair and sporting a series of classic suits

i knew five minutes after the monster made his appearance where his was going but when i saw the beginning credits i said oh my god bruce boxlightner walter koenig from star trek gil gerard from buck rogers and hes almost unrecognizable then i saw john callahan who used to star on my favorite soap all my childen put on a few pounds but he can still act then there was veronica hamill too bad i didnt sick around to see her in the film i bailed out minutes into he film it was that bad never did see william katt from perry mason and the greates american hero all these stars and one lousy film i hope hey got their paycheck bad bad bad

when at the very start of the film paleontologist donald sutherland arrives at the argyle familys house and it comes out he is the undeniable alibi for one of the members executed for murdering his mother two years ago your sensation is that you are about to watch a top thriller an innocent man has been convicted and a killer is still around but as the film runs along your disappointment increases inevitably ordeal by innocence is a dull and at times even boring film that doesnt raise at any moment nothing interesting happens all along and even the final revealing of the facts lacks surprise and intensity wether you guessed or not donald sutherland cristopher plummer faye dunaway and sarah miles far from her good performance in ryans daughter just pass through their roles and not very enthusiastically either you wont miss much if you skip this one

obviously with this film going straight to dvd i wasnt expecting a lot but this film is so unfunny it is unbelievable the only part of the film that you actually may find remotely funny is before they even get to the island where eddies son is blasted out of the bathroom by a jet of water and then thats it why do they bother at all the first christmas vacation with chevy chase was brilliant and hilarious this is not they rely on jokes concerning a dog with flatulence and a character called uncle nick who is about and keeps trying to get his way with beautiful women when they approach the island on the boat the island in the background just looks so fake and randy quaid although funny in the previous film just overacts and seems like hes trying too hard to be funny you have been warned

thank god i was not operating any heavy machinery it could have been an even worst disaster shots were slow & very repetitive different scenes same shots medium shot medium shot medium shot snooze story line was rather empty william hurt was the worst where did he get that stupid accent from random shots of scenery just to include them really didnt add much there were more shots of arbour traveling in her car than anything else the direction really didnt take us into any of the scenes & it also didnt make me feel for any of the characters i would have rated it a zero if imdb had the option great sedative if you cant sleep there went hours of my life i will never get back

is one of those movies where if you dont like it you are told that you dont get it and need to look at the deeper meaning and symbolism youre told that you clearly have a slow attention span and just want to see sex explosions and have the plot handed to you on a platter lets break down the movie shall we three minutes of blackness with something that sounds like a dying hippo in the background then we get the opening credits a minute of fascinating shots of the savannah then a bunch of monkeys find a black rock and start killing things with bones cut to the first of many minute shots of ships doing things while the blue danube plays in the background a bunch of pointless dialogue and a group of moon scientists find another monolith cut to a spaceship thats too long for the crew complement three sleeping people two people named dave and frank who have only slightly more personality than the stiffs in hibernation and then theres hal the perfect supercomputer who runs the ship predictably he snaps and starts breaking the first law of robotics now this is something that has potential an evil coldly ruthless super mind who controls the surrounding environment and can predict your every move and what does he do he lets one guy float into space and turns off the hibernation machines so the three sleeping guys die leaving dave floating in a pod he simply uses the airlock puts on a spacesuit and turns hal off agonizingly slowly then apparently theres some psychedelic evolution at jupiter heres the movie with the pauses taken out apes see monolith kill things scientists find moon monolith hal kills people hal dies dave gets a prerecorded message and evolves at jupiter this is not me not getting it this is me being bored to tears by long stretches of absolutely nothing sure its realistic but i find i have no reason to care no matter the message no movie can be good without being entertaining frankly every character could be replaced with keanu reeves and nothing would change

the movie is apparently based on a popular french horror novel by arthur bernède from not that i had ever heard about it before but belphégor has been a popular subject before for movies and mini series the first movie got released way back in simultaneously with the novel arthur bernède was a part of a group of writers who wrote and produced films and novels simultaneously the character belphégor is one of his best known creations once upon a time sophie marceau was a promising new european actress who would conquer hollywood she has now however dropped back again to movies like this one nothing wrong with playing in french quality movies since its the country she originates from but this movie is just ridicules problem is mostly that the movie relies on its special effects to make the movie good and scary well horror and special effects never really have been a good combination though with some exceptions here and there its not like the special effects are bad in this one especially for an european movie it is simply good but its just misplaced since the movie gave the feeling it could had easily done without its effect it would had actually made the movie a better and scarier one to watch no doubt about that really the movie is just not ever tense or engaging to watch also since the movie seems to have difficulties picking the right approach at times the movie picks a light and just less serious approach while at others it clearly attempts to be a good scary horror movie this is mostly the reason why the movie just doesnt work out on any level you can say that the movie is even a bit boring it all also definitely gets worse toward the ending after a while you just stop caring about this movie and its story and you start wishing you had decided to watch something else instead the editing seems totally off it uses too fast cuts without much style while the fast editing was obviously intended to give the movie a good modern style also the time line is just plain messed up at times as if some sequences got edited in the wrong order the musical score is also really annoying and at times doesnt even sounds to fit the movie as if it all long got scored before the movie finished shooting i cant believe composer bruno coulais is an oscar nominated composer the musical score is almost just as annoying as the movie its sound effects the movie is filled with many characters which you however just couldnt care less about it also just seems very unlikely that a woman like sophie marceau would ever fall for a man such as frédéric diefenthal the movie also features julie christie which is nice but just doesnt add much to the movie a horrible watch

i doubt whoever wrote this screenplay has ever actually read mansfield parkor if they have it was not very well none of the characters are what they should be fanny is lively and conscious of her mistreatment while sir thomas who treated her very well seems to have accidentally fallen into aunt norris personality additionally a first person narrative by fanny is highly inappropriate to both the story and her character fanny is not an entertaining heroine and i would contend that she is not meant to be additionally in the movie version fanny flirts shamelessly with edmund from the very beginning when they have been raised as brother and sister austens fanny would have shrank from flirtation of any sort and the novel paints the fanny edmund pairing as highly uncomfortableas it should be unlike some other jane austen novels p&p emma mansfield park does not rest on the strength of its female protagonist it is a very different sort of novel than the others it is not meant to be a love story i watched this movie because i have just now finished reading mansfield park and i am absolutely horrified by what i see miss austen is rolling in her grave

i really liked this movie number the star robot of the movie gets hit by lightning and some thing happened to his circuits he act and thinks more like a humanthe robot repeats commercials he learns after watching tv he then applies these sayings to his circumstances number is quick witted and funny the character imitates voices of stars tries to dance like john travolta in staying alive and a lot of other things he has a saying for most of his circumstances that he memorized the actions of the robots is really good number wants to drive cook and please stefany with all the characteristics of a human the way the robots move and line up is really hystericali am disappointed that the writers could not keep this clean for all viewers this movie has a surpris ending something you would not expect i hate movies that have swearing in them even though i like them i give them a lower rating this movie had swearing words jesus christ was used as swearing word which offends me it is used a least times g d d m bull sh_t etc it could have been a wonderful movie with out all this offensive language there is no sex in this film some violence like robots blowing up cars and machines

i preface by stating i am a big fan of jjl and not one of patrick therefore i watched this to see her performance and of course it was excellent i do not feel the director was adequate for the film as several very bad choices were made re shot angles blocking etc if the director was trying to give it a realistic feel they failed and lost some good performances because of it nearly always felt that the camera was way too static too far from intense facial reactions and so many times when the action depended on the intimacy of lead characters the dialog was slow and plodding this easily could have been resolved by cutaways or changes of camera angle but the impression i got was that the budget was too small and only one camera was used i also got the impression that perhaps scenes were shot multiple times and the energy coming from the actors was used up

saw this movie at a saturday matinée with a friend theater was about % full although there are quite a few funny lines it is more of a drama suspense with humor sprinkled on top robin williams gives a decent performance as does laura linney being a daily show fan lewis black is pretty good in this christopher walken gives a good performance also the movie starts out slow and remains that way for about the first thirty minutes then the suspense part kicks in and starts keeping you a little on edge throughout the rest of the movie suspense in a supposed comedy movie i know that i as well as everybody else in the place was struggling a bit with this a character would crack a joke during suspense sequence and you would hear just one or two laughs in the theater in all fairness after the movie was over there was smattering of applause so definitely some people enjoyed this movie i gave this movie a four out of ten because i believe the comedy aspect doesnt work very well in a suspense drama movie and the actors performances while not bad were just decent again this movie isnt what was advertised

snakes on a train starts as mexican couple brujo aj castro & alma julia ruiz cross the boarder into the us they then illegally board a seventeen hour train to los angeles however almas family didnt approve of her & brujos relationship & placed an ancient black magic curse on her that turns all her insides into snakes aint life a b*tch as the snakes pour out of almas mouth & slither away to other parts of the train they begin to infect the other passengers with the same unusual ailment edited & directed by the mallachi brothers although the imdb claims its just one guy using a pseudonym peter mervis one has to say that i thought snakes on a train was crap its as simple as that really it seems the entire film was set up & made to cash in on the samuel l jackson cult flick snakes on a plane by every horror fans least favourite production company the asylum who specialise in ripping off big budget hollywood flicks & that style of money & film making is no more evident than here with snakes on a train making a film just because the title rhymes with a more successful film is not a good starting point the script by eric forsberg is rubbish for a start snakes on a plane was great fun whereas snakes on a train is a lot more serious & when you actually break it down & look at it this should have been much more light hearted in fact it probably would have worked better as an scary movie type spoof you know something i am struggling to find one positive thing to say about snakes on a train its that bad for a start the characters are rubbish & its impossible to emote with anyone the story is downright awful & makes no sense if people spew all those small snakes up where did the huge ones come from why did alma turn into the giant snake at the end why did bujo kill the train driver how was he going to stop the train once it reached los angeles where did that typhoon come from at the end it takes itself far too seriously the first seventy odd minutes is so boring & uneventful i am surprised i stayed awake & its just a very very poor film on just about every level director mervis only has a few train carriage car sets which all look pretty much alike so the film becomes very repetitive & dull to watch theres barely any blood or gore there are some snakes borrowing under a few peoples skin someone gets shot & thats about it the special effects are rubbish too the giant cgi snake at the end is truly awful & the least said about it the better its not scary theres zero atmosphere & its a bit of a bore from start to finish the real live snakes are a problem too they are just so docile & nonthreatening if you look at any scene featuring a real snake & an actor the snakes never make any move towards them or act aggressively & in fact always appear to want to slither away in the opposite direction shot in california technically the film is obviously low budget & it shows basically it looks cheap because it is the acting isnt great not that the actors are given any sort of material to work with snakes on a train is rubbish i am sorry but thats how i feel & i dont quite know how else to describe it i really cant see what anyone would get out of watching snakes on a train it really is that bad

ok i gave this a three a three it deserves only one star no questions asked if your going to look at the movie seriously and take it as a legit b horror movie than yes it will get one star but i believe it is apparent within the first minutes of the movie what we are dealing with is a piece of crap with this movie me and the buddy i was watching it with could of turned it off and put on something more hollywood but instead we just decided to rip this whole movie apart from start to finish we laughed so many times it was almost if i was watching a comedy the acting is terrible the effects and death sequences are so bad the story complete crap but the fact they are trying to make a serious horror moviepriceless the most memorable part for me is when two of the characters are walking in a supposed dark basement which is clearly lit and they pretend to not be able to see bumping into bones hanging from the ceiling bahahahaha just terrible so if you want to laugh at how crappy this movie is along with the fact it was made in than see this movie wait why am i writing so much no one knows about this moviei doubt anyone will even read this hahahaha

because it came from hbo and based on the imdb rating i watched the first season of this series what a waste the characters are occasionally interesting but mostly cartoon like the acting ranges from good to mediocre talent with a s t r o n g emphasis on the latter not only prisoners also viewers should leave all hope at the cell door that this story is believable its such a load of dung that you will need unusually strong testicular fortitude to keep watching the violence as with most of the developments in the story is titillating and whatever morality is supposedly served up its of the lite variety if your idea of excellent television includes the the writing acting and overall production quality seen in the sopranos deadwood or six feet under avoid oz if you want to see a disneyland for illiterate jerks watch oz stuff like this gives edgy a bad name

were in a not so distant future globalization seems to have reached a high point languages mixes with each other although english prevails over the rest races have merged human clonation is a fact and all the territory seems to have been divided in two zones the one for the valid and the one for the non valid a brave new world in aldous huxleys style in which people are genetically filed and blood relationships are strictly forbidden for health reasons –thats the code of the title in such environment two souls that are destined not to meet fall in love with each other winterbottom had an important story with quite a big potential a nice recipe that he ruins giving it a so slow rhythm narrating it in a so weary way removing any emotions coldness thats all code transmits coldness and boredom not even the presence of samantha morton and tim robbins both ofem play their roles wonderfully nor the visual and sound power of some sequences can do anything to save the movie what a pity code what could have been and never was *my rate

honestly this may be the worst movie ive ever seen and ive seen spider baby and not of this earth heck ive even seen motels having just discovered the freaks and geeks series and being surprised at the acting ability of linda cardellini i checked out the reviews here and decided this was worth a try that is the last time i will ever rely on a review at imdb i didnt realize that morons were writing imdb reviews while they were waiting for their calls to be answered on am radio this movie is so far beyond bad that mere words cannot express the wretchedness of its vomitous state seriously watch this movie if you think will farrel is really really really funny if you think adam sandler is a comedic genius watch this movie but please dont breed

i do not see what is the whole deal about this movie patricia kaas sings yes and that makes the film charming but singing is not enough i mean if you want to get all benefits of this one go buy patricias cd and enjoy the plot is simple if to omit the dreams the main characters seem to love each other instantly and as well instantly forget their other acquaintances relationships appear almost mandatory and the little detective story thrown in just makes things worse what at first appeared to be a perfect movie ending is first screwed up and then comes out as just a dream i measure movies by how well i would remember them and for this one i already started to forget the details

i speak badly of gijtm mostly because i think it lacked something that gi joe had yes it had something that gi joe didnt have like celebrity cameos by don johnson and burgess meredith but i think gi joe the movie lacked the passion for the characters that the gi joe tv series had most of the voice over artists really sounded like they were dead pan and they were going to die at anytime now its a good movie but i wouldnt say that it was the greatest movie in the world imho although violence is what gi joe was built on id say that serpentor striking duke in his chest wasnt the very best way for charlie adlers character to go out neither was seeing golobulus remind cobra commander why he was chosen to lead the cobra forces and then being horribly mutated after he failed to deliver what cobra la felt was rightfully theirs it wasnt the best way for the gi joe series to go out but its better than nothing