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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333049922 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rjpia | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rjpia | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rjpia/tifu_forgot_to_hand_in_math_assignment_which_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | It was even in my bag the entire time. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Forgot to hand in math assignment which I had spent all night writing. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rjpia/tifu_forgot_to_hand_in_math_assignment_which_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sadi89 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333037632 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rjedh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rjedh | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rjedh/tifu_i_have_a_presentation_in_less_then_an_hour/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 22 | null | null | And now instead of doing last minute cramming. I'm on reddit. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I have a presentation in less then an hour on a book I didn't really read. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rjedh/tifu_i_have_a_presentation_in_less_then_an_hour/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TheManCarpCometh | null | None | null | null | null | 1333033660 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rjb1h | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rjb1h | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rjb1h/tifu_drank_a_cup_of_coffee_with_my_crotch_on_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 91 | null | null | Today I woke up late. Instantly anger clouded my judgement as I fumbled around my room to get all my shit together. When I went upstairs a pot of coffee was made (thank god) and I proceeded to search for my travel mug. Unfortunately, it was nowhere to be found. Already considerably late I decided a regular coffee mug would have to suffice. I filled it up and headed out the door. Carefully, I got into my truck, and drove off (keep in mind my truck has a manual transmission) pleased with myself.
The road I live on is very bumpy so I carefully avoided potholes the whole way (Still having not spilled a drop). I was doing very good avoiding them, until... the widow maker appeared.. the pothole to end all potholes, and I **smoked** it. The coffee cup went airborne but thank *god* my crotch was there to break its fall. Burning hot coffee soaked my downstairs and I nearly went off the road.
I hate this day.
**TL;DR :: Coffee Cup uses Splash. It's super effective! Crotch fainted.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU : Drank a cup of coffee with my crotch on my way to school. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rjb1h/tifu_drank_a_cup_of_coffee_with_my_crotch_on_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | KiwiBait | null | None | null | null | null | 1333010720 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rizwo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rizwo | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rizwo/tifui_put_new_dark_blue_jeans_in_with_a_load_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | one brain fart later and 2 hours of soaking in bleach later, still ruined. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU-I put new dark blue jeans in with a load of white clothes... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rizwo/tifui_put_new_dark_blue_jeans_in_with_a_load_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1332993774 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | riqvv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_riqvv | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/riqvv/tifu_started_biting_my_finger_nails_after_reading/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Started biting my finger nails after reading magazines in the doctors office. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/riqvv/tifu_started_biting_my_finger_nails_after_reading/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | rastapus | null | None | null | null | null | 1332986101 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rikcg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rikcg | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rikcg/tifu_games_on_the_can_mess/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | So long story really short, i was having a really good run through a temple on my phone while dropping a deuce today. I do this all the time, coordinate all bodily functions whilst jumping ducking and turning. Then i got to a particularly tricky bit. This is where the mess happened, my mind decided to prioritize temple run over civilized bowel evacuation. had a chub on, pissed everywhere needed to change my pants. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: games on the can = mess | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rikcg/tifu_games_on_the_can_mess/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | im_tw1g | null | None | null | null | null | 1333140736 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rlgqu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rlgqu | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rlgqu/tifu_left_the_door_open_and_a_bird_came_in_we/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | (well, the fuckup was yeterday but it still counts)
When I went out to go to soccer practice yesterday, I left the side door open. When we came back, the hallway was covered in feathers. And the cat was there looking pleased with herself.
Spent a few minutes looking for a bird, but we couldn't find it, and we assumed it had escaped or was eaten by the cat.
Next morning. Just laying in bed, thinking about life, when a wild bird just hops into my bedroom! Looked like a small grey sparrow or something. So we caught it and let it fly away.
There might have been another bird too though, because there were a lot of feathers, and the bird I found just flew away. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Left the door open and a bird came in. We have a cat. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rlgqu/tifu_left_the_door_open_and_a_bird_came_in_we/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333107150 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rks1v | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rks1v | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rks1v/anyone_else_throw_something_to_a_band_at_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So i went to a Five Finger Death Punch concert and he was talking about people throwing stuff on stage at copncerts so i threw my hat up there and he commented on it so it was funny, but this guy ran out and threw it into the crowd and i was like wow today i fucked up. luckly i found soime guy weren it lol so i went up to him told him it was mine and got it back! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | anyone else throw something to a band at a concert and regret throwing it :( | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rks1v/anyone_else_throw_something_to_a_band_at_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Naznarreb | null | None | null | null | null | 1333072632 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rk99c | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rk99c | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rk99c/tifu_by_learning_the_hard_way_that_carnation/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 17 | null | null | It was bad. I was at work and made a **huge** mess in the men's room. I panicked and almost packed it in right then and there, thought I'd just zip up and make a break for the parking lot; hopefully no would notice before I got out.
But I took a breath, calmed down, cleaned up as best I could and slipped down to the weight room and took a shower.
Fortunately I happened to have an extra set of clothes in my locker.
Cleaned myself up, then called the maint guys to report that *someone* had left a mess in the gents....
Pretty sure I made a clean getaway. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by learning the hard way that Carnation Instant Breakfast gives me explosive diarrhea. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rk99c/tifu_by_learning_the_hard_way_that_carnation/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | dmuns | null | None | null | null | null | 1333071829 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rk8k7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rk8k7 | null | 91 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rk8k7/tifu_got_caught_masturbating_in_the_middle_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 347 | null | null | I perform chemical tests on creek water several times per week, and today I was out in the middle of the woods, ALONE for a change. It takes me about twenty minutes to get to the first test site along this creek on my mountain bike, so it's pretty secluded. I hadn't flogged the dolphin in about a week because I've been so busy, not to mention that I live in a cramp dorm room. So, I got a little aroused and looked up some porn on my phone. Started going at it on the side of this trail. All of my focus is on my phone's screen and wouldn't you know it, a female cross country team from the college across town sneaks right up on me. I didn't notice them until they were about twenty meters away, so they caught a side view of what I was doing. One of them called me a pervert while two others cat whistled at me. Being as embarrassed as I was, I stepped down off the trail into the woods just to make sure they didn't see my face.
I waited for fifteen minutes or so in shame to let some distance grow in between myself and them, then hopped back on my bike and went towards the second test site (which is in the same direction they went). I turned onto another trail before I caught them and was nearing the second test site when I saw my very first red squirrel. Finished my testing at site two, and headed towards my truck. On the way back, I run over a snake and nearly fall off of my bike because I didn't realize it was a snake until it was too late (I hate snakes).
Got back to the truck, drove over to the third testing site and went down next to the creek to gather some water samples. I got close to the water on an already steep and slippery bank. I realized I had not checked the area for snakes before I knealt down, and I freaked out and proceeded to slip right into the creek. I climbed out as fast as I could to try and save my phone in my pocket, then, as I was pulling my phone out of my water-logged pocket, I slipped back in again.
I pulled a Bill O'Reilly, and said "FUCK IT, I'LL JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. FUCK THE CREEK." I got back to my truck, and there were four turkeys pecking at their reflections on the passenger side. Needless to say, I fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | tifu: Got caught masturbating in the middle of nowhere, ran over a snake, AND fell into a creek... twice | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rk8k7/tifu_got_caught_masturbating_in_the_middle_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333069492 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rk6n4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rk6n4 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rk6n4/tifu_hit_hard_by_fried_chicken_at_lunch/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Today my friend didn't want his fried chicken he got for lunch so he gave it to me. I thought it would be funny to hit my friend at another table with it. So i tossed it at him and it bounced off. He picked it up in a rage and threw it at me. Now my white shirt still has bits of exploded fried chicken on it and it smells bad. A teacher being right next to us did not help either. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Hit hard by fried chicken at lunch | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rk6n4/tifu_hit_hard_by_fried_chicken_at_lunch/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333229745 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rmvhs | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rmvhs | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rmvhs/tifu_jizz_stain_on_my_shoe/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | This wasnt particularly today but it was definately a fuck up. I was giving my boyfriend head at skool and things got kinda oyt of hand wen he pulled out and proceeded to cum all over my shoe. See, i wouldnt hav freaked out so bad if, A: he would have warned me. And B: i wasnt wearing black fake velvety shoes. And worst of all we had to hang around the school for two more hours because we had band practice. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: jizz stain on my shoe. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rmvhs/tifu_jizz_stain_on_my_shoe/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sepha | null | None | null | null | null | 1333223302 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rmqws | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rmqws | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rmqws/tifu_fell_off_a_building/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 43 | null | null | Yesterday I was showing how a bird's wings work to a 5th grade class. I was demoing a flying machine ornithopter which flew really high - the wind caught it and took it to the school roof. I climbed up the single story building to get it back. When getting down I took a nasty fall onto the grass and hurt my ankle real bad. Hopefully not broke but I can't make it to the doctor until next week. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Fell off a building. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rmqws/tifu_fell_off_a_building/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Armonster | null | None | null | null | null | 1333217935 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rmmwy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rmmwy | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rmmwy/tifu_lost_a_chance_to_use_a_50_off_coupon_for/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Was buying some shirts online, and I couldn't decided whether to get one or not. So I went to bed and decided against it the next day. Decided to look up coupon codes for the site. There was a FIFTY percent off one, that worked for everyone that did it, and it expired yesterday.
God. Damn. It. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Lost a chance to use a 50% off coupon for over a hundred dollars worth of clothes. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rmmwy/tifu_lost_a_chance_to_use_a_50_off_coupon_for/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TheNormalSun | null | None | null | null | null | 1333200025 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rmcct | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rmcct | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rmcct/by_throwing_away_my_spoon_instead_of_the_lid_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | ... by throwing away my spoon instead of the lid of my pudding | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rmcct/by_throwing_away_my_spoon_instead_of_the_lid_of/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333196718 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rmb4z | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rmb4z | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rmb4z/tifu_at_fapping/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I gave up myself on NoFap for one day just to have an awesone fap because I knew that I will be alone at home today. I almost jerked off, but my sister came early from training today, so i didn't finished. Have an horrible urge to fap now :( . Weren't caught, though. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU at fapping. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rmb4z/tifu_at_fapping/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | daniel64 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333177855 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rm58k | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rm58k | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rm58k/tyfu_i_leave_accidentally_a_aluminium_ball_to_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TYFU: i leave accidentally a aluminium ball to my dog | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rm58k/tyfu_i_leave_accidentally_a_aluminium_ball_to_my/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333156650 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rlst3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rlst3 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rlst3/live_stream_fail/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Live stream fail | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rlst3/live_stream_fail/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | TheManCarpCometh | null | None | null | null | null | 1333156160 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rlsic | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rlsic | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rlsic/tifu_chased_down_a_jerk_for_nearly_running_me_off/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 87 | null | null | *This actually happened about a year ago but I thought you guys might appreciate it*
I was driving down the highway when I noticed a car coming up on me fast. He flew past me and cut me off nearly running me right off the road. In a fit of rage I accelerate and follow the guy.
At the first cut-off he slows down for a red light and proceeds to blow through it nearly T-boning another car. Now i'm starting to believe this guy is out of his mind. So, making sure the coast is clear, I blow the light as well and continue to follow this lunatic. He's driving at break neck speeds and i'm having trouble safely keeping up with him (at the time my car was a '93 Dodge Spirit). I follow him until he finally stops. I jump out of my car ready to tear him a new one when i realize he stopped in front of the hospital. He proceeded to help his pregnant wife (who was currently in labor) out of the car. I felt like a huge idiot for following him for 10 minutes and just got back in my car and drove away.
I am an idiot. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU : Chased down a jerk for nearly running me off the road, found out he was driving his pregnant wife to the hospital. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rlsic/tifu_chased_down_a_jerk_for_nearly_running_me_off/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | foxy1167 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333154287 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rlr7e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rlr7e | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rlr7e/tifu_my_dog_almost_ran_onto_a_local_highway/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | Went to a local dog park today, okay place, large sandbox area enclosed with a fence. My dog is a Boxer / Shepherd mix, so she's a big dog. Had some fun, ran around, yadda yadda yadda. Around 7 PM EST I decide to leave, and had the dumbass idea to let her off the leash outside the fence. Stupid me thought she would follow me as if she thought she was wearing a leash. As soon as I open the gate, she takes off, sprinting in all directions. My mind is racing, because on one side of the park is the highway, with a little 2 foot high barrier that had a few gaps in it, and on the other side, is a lake, which has no barrier. Worst of all, I'm ~300lbs, and can't run for my life. Twenty minutes of her running around having the time of her life, scaring the shit out of me, and me trying (and failing) to run after her, she finally gets close enough to me that I can grab her.
Seriously learned my lesson after this. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, my dog almost ran onto a local highway / drowned. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rlr7e/tifu_my_dog_almost_ran_onto_a_local_highway/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333153207 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rlqhj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rlqhj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rlqhj/tifu_i_blew_the_perfect_opportunity_to_talk_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | She was on the quad playing Frisbee and I just stood in the distance.
She knows who I am and saw I was there. It even looked like she wanted me to come over and talk to her. But I couldn't do it. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I blew the perfect opportunity to talk to the girl I like and get her number. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rlqhj/tifu_i_blew_the_perfect_opportunity_to_talk_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ern19 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333291857 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rnyth | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rnyth | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rnyth/tifu_when_i_chopped_off_a_chunk_of_my_finger_at/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 46 | null | null | I'm a lowly sandwich slave at Subway. About half an hour before I was scheduled to leave, I was opening a bag of roast beef. Everything at Subway is sealed in apocalypse-proof, NASA-grade plastic, and of course all of our knives are duller than Paris Hilton with a hangover. So, I try to slit the whole bag open in one swipe; however, my index finger was in the line of fire. Then... blood. So much fucking blood. And I have to work tomorrow. Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when I chopped off a chunk of my finger at work. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rnyth/tifu_when_i_chopped_off_a_chunk_of_my_finger_at/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | feelinweird | null | None | null | null | null | 1333270969 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rnpz0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rnpz0 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rnpz0/tifu_fucked_up_my_kneecap_in_front_of_60_people/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | Participating in a musical performance. Dancing too much. Kneecap falls out of place in high visibility. Stack (fall) hard. Sit the remainder of the song in noticeable agony. Carried off, everyone's fucking looking. get makeshift splint from bar manager. Helluva guy. Walk around and attempt to act chill walkin' like a pirate. Wasn't too bad, but def embarassing. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Fucked up my kneecap in front of 60+ people. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rnpz0/tifu_fucked_up_my_kneecap_in_front_of_60_people/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333257488 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rngas | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rngas | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rngas/tifu_i_let_her_get_away/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | So, I was at Barnes and Noble today looking for a few books to keep myself busy. I hate to say this, because I'm kind of ashamed, but due to family issues, drug abuse, low self esteem, and my only close friends living in Oregon, Michigan, and Germany, I have pretty bad social anxiety. Today was the first day in about two months that I left the house for another reason besides school. I'm only fifteen, so I haven't had too much expierence dating. I used to get all the girls, and I was always happy. The problems started up, though. I lost it all. I hadn't been attracted to more than one or two girls in about a year, and each time I hated myself so much I let them slip away without putting forth much effort. Anyways, today at Barnes and Noble, I saw a girl that I liked. A girl that for once, I genuinely thought was beautiful. I didn't speak to her, though. I was scared shitless to even be in public. I didn't have the balls to talk to her in front of her friends. Her friend even came up to me and told me that the girl I fancied was interested. I paniced and couldn't speak. I walked out of the store and realized, I couldn't do this. I was a little ways down the street, but I told my dad to stop the car and I walked back. I looked down the side walk, in the store, I even asked a cashier where her, or her friends, went. I was too late. She was gone. I'm asking you all a favor here, and I know it's a long shot, but if ANYONE lives in, or knows someone from Solano County, California, I would appreciate it so much if you, or your friend, could ask around. I need any lead. Anyone who might have been at the Barnes and Noble in Fairfield, CA, on March 31st, 2012, would be helpful to me. I want to find this girl. Creepy, I guess, but who cares? She was into me, and I was into her. I've been so much of a wreck, that I couldn't love anyone else. I need to see where things might lead with her. The store was on 1600 Gateway Blvd, Fairfield, CA. I was there anytime around 3pm, wearing a purple flannel shirt. If this can spread around, and I can find this girl. I would be so happy. This might be what helps me fix my life. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I let her get away... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rngas/tifu_i_let_her_get_away/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | daniel64 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333247119 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rn7x1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rn7x1 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rn7x1/tifu_i_leave_accidentally_a_aluminium_ball_to_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | i was making a aluminium ball (only aluminium) with rest of it in the floor. i did make a considerable size (like 15cm). i was playing with it when suddenly the ball go under the bed, didn't gave a fuck about that. in night i was about to say goodbye to my dog when suddenly i found rest of aluminium in her bed, had to clean everything
TL;DR: made a aluminium ball, ball get lost, dog get it, destroy it in her bed and had to clean it up (had to re-sumit for misspelling TIFU) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: i leave accidentally a aluminium ball to my dog (self.tifu) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rn7x1/tifu_i_leave_accidentally_a_aluminium_ball_to_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | iamregretting | null | None | null | null | null | 1333243689 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rn5hk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rn5hk | null | 45 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rn5hk/tifu_i_saw_someone_being_molested_and_i_didnt_do/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 52 | null | null | I was at a local market shopping around for groceries for the week with my mother when something that really bothered me happened. Usually there is this homeless nearly blind guy that wanders through the market and accepts any spare change that is given to him but he never harasses anyone for anything. So as he was taking his time finding his way, this old disgusting gap toothed piece of shit of a man comes up to the blind man grabbing the poor guys crotch and slapping his butt. It is known that the homeless guy can curse like a sailor and this stupid fuck was trying to get a rise out of him. After he did this he stepped back to giggle like a fucking school girl and that's when I noticed that he wasn't the only one giggling but so was almost everyone else there. I was shocked before but now I was in total disbelief. That's when the man goes back and grabs the blind guys crotch again causing the man to drop his bag. People continue to laugh. All I can muster up to do at that moment is tell my mother what just happened since she was busy buying something or the other. I begin saying things like "I don't see how that's funny." and "If someone grabbed my crotch, I would slit their throat right there.". What shocked me was how old these folks were and how they could find humor in this situation. I know I should have done something. I regret not doing anything. I might see the molester at the market again, any suggestions if I do? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I saw someone being molested and I didn't do anything. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rn5hk/tifu_i_saw_someone_being_molested_and_i_didnt_do/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Aporksalesman | null | None | null | null | null | 1333242361 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rn4kh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rn4kh | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rn4kh/tifu_i_accidentaly_slammed_my_90lb_friend_into/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | This wasnt today, but near the end of wrestling season at practice... my small friend was picked on alot, and people loved messing with him. Then somehow i became his wrestling partner (screwed up since i weight 150 pounds). I did a firemans carry and held him over my head, but i trip over my own feet and slam him into the mat onto his back. Iwas thinking, oh shit oh shit as he was falling... Only knocked the wind out of him thank god. I felt so bad | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I accidentaly slammed my 90lb friend into the ground onto his back | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rn4kh/tifu_i_accidentaly_slammed_my_90lb_friend_into/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | purplemonkey218 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333241291 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rn3tw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rn3tw | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rn3tw/tifu_i_went_into_the_wronggendered_restroom/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | So I was at this mall and I realize "Oh shit, I gotta shit." So of course the bathrooms are on the other side of the mall. I buns-of-steel-waddle to the other side of the mall, dash into the bathroom, into a stall, and release my colon bomb. It was just bad. I was finishing up when I see a pair of high heels walk by the door of my stall.
I have a sudden moment of realization that I hadn't looked for the gender sign out side the door or looked for urinals. So I weigh my options, of which there are only one: walk out when you are pretty sure nobody else is in the restroom. Since I have long hair I pulled it up around my face to cover my manly-man beard, and pull up my pants so they get tighter around my ass, trying to look as feminine as possible. I step out and this old lady walks in just as I exit my stall. I would have otherwise cherished the expression on her face, but I was more concerned about getting arrested. I speedily washed my hands and left.
TL;DR I walked into the girls room on accident and frightened an old lady. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I went into the wrong-gendered restroom | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rn3tw/tifu_i_went_into_the_wronggendered_restroom/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | where_the_fuck_am_i | null | None | null | null | null | 1333240259 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rn34b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rn34b | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rn34b/tifu_by_wandering_into_the_woods_and_getting_lost/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | Well, I decided it would be a good idea to today and go into the woods, and get lost perhaps it would give me some new experience, I thought i'd take my laptop just in case I get lost to the point I panic I could Google earth my coordinates, but because my brain is a scumbag I forgot to charge it before I left. Anyway, so I made a fire and set up camp and said "Before I go for my adventure i'll take a nap" I woke up and turned my laptop on to get started and saw that I barely have any battery, now I'm currently sitting in the woods some where in Upstate NY at 8:30 pm with a dying laptop and a shitty flip cell phone with dropping service and obsolete operating system and before my computer dies I decided to post my story on how I fucked up today using this appropriate account.
Tomorrow, I am survivor man. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by wandering into the woods and getting lost. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rn34b/tifu_by_wandering_into_the_woods_and_getting_lost/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333410598 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rqblv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rqblv | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rqblv/tifu_i_hit_my_sos_car_in_his_driveway_freaked_out/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | It's exactly like it sounds. I was parked behind his car, went to pull out like it was parallel parking, and scraped the side. Flipped my shit and drove off. His roommate saw me and was the one to tell him, not me.
Told me we're probably breaking up over this, and I can't really blame him. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I hit my SO's car in his driveway, freaked out, and drove away. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rqblv/tifu_i_hit_my_sos_car_in_his_driveway_freaked_out/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Holmx | null | None | null | null | null | 1333408632 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rq9x4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rq9x4 | null | 28 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rq9x4/tifu_texted_to_a_girl_that_i_liked_her_but_she/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 22 | null | null | I have met the girl on a holiday and she contacted me after on facebook. We did write for a fairly long time and yesterday i wrote as the title says. Now is the girl gone.. Think I'm going to use the rest of my life on Reddit.
**EDIT:** I did know that she had got a boyfriend. Sorry for misunderstandings. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Texted to a girl that I liked her, but she already has a boyfriend.. Now's the friendship gone too.. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rq9x4/tifu_texted_to_a_girl_that_i_liked_her_but_she/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SaltyChristian | null | None | null | null | null | 1333399883 | null | moderator | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rq27w | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rq27w | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rq27w/announcement_new_rule_regarding_unoriginalcommon/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | Recently there has been a lot of posts along the lines of "TIFU when I spent my whole day redditing instead of working/studying." These posts are very unoriginal, and procrastinating and/or spending too much time on reddit is a common occurence to most redditors. It is also very very predictable that procrastination leads to trouble later, so it isn't an unlikely, surprising, or unique fuck up. Lastly, these are way too common in the subreddit, so it's nothing new to read.
We are creating a new rule: **Do not submit Fuck-Ups about wasting time on reddit.**
This is temporary, we are going to see how it works after about a week, and then we will keep it or remove it. Please express your concerns/opinions in the comments. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [Announcement] New rule regarding unoriginal/common submissions. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rq27w/announcement_new_rule_regarding_unoriginalcommon/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | sukit_tribeck | null | None | null | null | null | 1333397272 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rpzvk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rpzvk | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rpzvk/tifu_and_tried_to_eat_a_snake/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Qaq7s6Sw9oA/T3ihrLlBryI/AAAAAAABsbU/CAyuTbc3qNs/s800/img_cm_Y.jpg | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and tried to eat a snake | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rpzvk/tifu_and_tried_to_eat_a_snake/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | CodyCarlile | null | None | null | null | null | 1333394063 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rpwz4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rpwz4 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rpwz4/tifu_by_giving_this_guy_pickles/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 24 | null | null | First of all i work at Krystals and theres always rude customers but usually not as clever as this guy. Anyway heres what happened... A guy walks in with a couple of his buddies and they start figuring out what they want. The first guy walks up to the counter and i say "welcome to krystals how may i help you?" his gives me his order and i do the same with the next guy. when the third guy tells me his order he asks for 6 krystals with no pickles and a large coke. i forgot to hit the -pickles botton so when he got his food i figured he'd complain. to my suprise he didn't, so later i checked on them and said hows everything going? i notice that there was a bunch of pickles stuck on the window. so i ask him "excuse me sir why did you do that?" he replied "how could that have been me? i ordered mine without pickles." i wasnt shure what to say back so i walked away and cleaned it later. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by giving this guy pickles | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rpwz4/tifu_by_giving_this_guy_pickles/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | The_Bug_L | null | None | null | null | null | 1333348927 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rp787 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rp787 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rp787/tifu_i_spent_today_playing_my_ps3_and_browsing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I was at the library at by 10am this morning to study but ended up spending 5 hrs on reddit. It was depressing, so I came home for a change of scenery and a little COD:MW3 break on the PS3 but spent like 5 hrs on that. Now I just spent the last 5 hrs on reddit and youtube again. ugh, I would have been fine if I just studied today :( I'm so fucked! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I spent today playing my PS3 and browsing Reddit instead of studying for my exam tomorrow morning | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rp787/tifu_i_spent_today_playing_my_ps3_and_browsing/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Poly_Kuroichigo | null | None | null | null | null | 1333341667 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rp33l | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rp33l | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rp33l/tifu_chipped_a_tooth_while_trying_to_be/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | This morning I was feeling awful so when I got home from class, I decided to have a nap. I woke up to my boyfriend pulling the blanket up over me. My response to this in my mostly asleep state was to grab his hand and pull him down for a snog. Only problem was that I'd forgotten that he's fractured his leg and has no ability to balance. So he fell and hit me mouth first. He now has a tooth ache and I've chipped my front tooth. Now I'm going to have to pay for a filling.
TIFU | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Chipped a tooth while trying to be affectionate. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rp33l/tifu_chipped_a_tooth_while_trying_to_be/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333337464 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rp00b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rp00b | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rp00b/tifu_by_pulling_out_my_weed_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 33 | null | null | I was sitting at my desk after lunch all happy with the little surprise I had in my pocket. I have my phone and other things stuff in my pocket, went to grab my phone and without realizing it put my bag'o weed and lighter on my desk while I went to the bathroom. With the time it took to get to the bathroom (slow ass elevators), went and got back; i saw my weed and light right on my desk. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it in my pocket. When I got home I weighed it for shits and giggles, two grams were missing. Have fun fellow co-worker! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by pulling out my weed at work. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rp00b/tifu_by_pulling_out_my_weed_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Stephoscope | null | None | null | null | null | 1333330835 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rouo2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rouo2 | null | 27 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rouo2/tifu_drunk_baking_ending_with_a_trip_to_the_er/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 106 | null | null | http://imgur.com/a/r1h5g#tR874
After drinking from a large glass that was primarily tequila, I decided to make Oatmeal Raisin cookies from scratch for my boyfriend. I measured correctly, had everything out, but I forgot one essential ingredient. I forgot the damn butter. I stupidly put it in the microwave to soften it and left it there. In the meantime, I sprayed the dry ingredients all over the kitchen and broke both spokes off of my Black and Decker mixer. When I realized my mistake I put all of the dry ingredients on that blue plate, poured the softened butter over it, and stuck it in the microwave for two minutes.
I ate a handful of it and gave myself slight food poisoning. I threw up so many times that I could not swallow water without gagging and the primary constituent was bile. I went to the ER for dehydration, where I found that my B/P was 80/58. I was happy to pass out in the waiting room instead of in my car (which I had been driving in alone).
EDIT: To clarify, the time span was about 8 hours over night. I did not drive drunk.
**TL;DR**: I gave myself food poisoning with a drunk creation of mine and ended up in the ER with extreme dehydration
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drunk baking ending with a trip to the ER | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rouo2/tifu_drunk_baking_ending_with_a_trip_to_the_er/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | GDFD1 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333481213 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rrm1m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rrm1m | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rrm1m/tifu_got_drunk_fell_down/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 33 | null | null | Got Drunk, Fell Down – #1
My neighbor asked this morning, “How did you do that to your nose?”
I said, “Got drunk, fell down.”
She said, “Really?”
I contemplated momentarily regarding how many times in the next few weeks I’m going to be asked about my two black eyes as the result of a broken nose. I concluded that most people won’t accept “got drunk, fell down”, as a reasonable answer. If they were going to occupy my time with stupid questions like “REALLY?”, than I was going to have some fun.
Knowing she loved feeding the local ducks, I told her, “Well, if you have a minute, I’ll tell you the whole story?”
“Yeah!”
“You see, I got drunk last night while watching the wildlife from my back porch. I had a great time. You didn’t hear me from your adjoining Townhouse?”
“No, I didn’t hear anything!”
“Well, I started to get kind of hungry. It was too late to order pizza and I didn’t have anything to eat in the refrigerator. I was hurting. Then, I saw a beautiful, fat, mallard duck on the retention pond. I started salivating. It was flapping its wings, preening about, almost like teasing me. I could taste the roast duck covered in the sweet and sour sauce calling my name from the refrigerator door. I just couldn’t resist. I got my shotgun and put a shell in each of the two barrels.”
“You DIDN’T!?”
“I sure did. I shouldered that heavy, long beast of a duck killing weapon, wobbled around near the ponds edge, and then fired off one round of bird shot… (She looked horrified). You didn’t hear it?”
“You killed one of my ducks?”
“Oh, no. I totally missed. But it didn’t fly off either. What a stupid duck. I must have missed by a lot. Since I still had another shell in the other barrel, and I was still hungry, I tried to focus for another shot. But, I was seeing double and triple ducky’s on the pond. I could barely keep my footing on the sandy shoreline or balance and aim the shotgun. In order to focus on the one real duck and aim to kill, I held the gun in a straight horizontal line from the butt stock to the barrel right in front of my face. This way, I could aim right down both barrels for the dinner kill!”
“NO?”
“YES!”
I paused for effect and could not believe that she was enthralled with this ridiculous fabrication. I threw my arms in the air and yelled, “BOOM, I fired, was knocked off my feet by the recoiling shotgun hitting me in the face.”
She took a step back, looking dumbfounded and amazed at the same time. She believed every word.
“Like I said, ‘Got drunk, fell down.’”
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Got Drunk, Fell Down | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rrm1m/tifu_got_drunk_fell_down/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | urbanlegendary | null | None | null | null | null | 1333470312 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rrcpv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rrcpv | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rrcpv/tifu_by_leaving_my_moms_sunroof_open_last_night/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 39 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by leaving my mom's sunroof open last night, then it rained | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rrcpv/tifu_by_leaving_my_moms_sunroof_open_last_night/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | omegawoot | null | None | null | null | null | 1333467847 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rraqg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rraqg | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rraqg/tifu_woke_up_when_my_exam_started_and_fell_on_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 61 | null | null | I was supposed to study and go to two classes before my exam, one with an attendance policy, but I woke up at noon instead of 9am. I woke up and instantly threw clothes on and started biking over. Without my glasses and half asleep, I hit a rock on my bike and faceplanted on grass. I got back up and got over there just to fail the exam by forgetting about half of the damn material. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [TIFU] Woke up when my exam started, and fell on my face rushing over to it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rraqg/tifu_woke_up_when_my_exam_started_and_fell_on_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | iLEZ | null | None | null | null | null | 1333451126 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rr0o1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rr0o1 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rr0o1/tifu_by_losing_a_used_condom_wrapper_at_work/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | I had sexual congress with a purdy lady last weekend and disposed my two opened condom wrappers in my pocket (never litter the lady's bedroom gentlemen, the rubbers themselves should be handled too of course). This monday I was sitting as usual at work and slipped my hand into my pocket and thought "AH! My weekend was a success, here are my two condom wrappers, I'll throw these away as soon as I get home." Upon leaving work though, there was only one wrapper in my pocket. By now (tuesday), rumors are probably spreading among the cleaning ladies.
[(Bonus ragecomic)](http://i.imgur.com/oc4V7.jpg) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by losing a used condom wrapper at work. Somewhere. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rr0o1/tifu_by_losing_a_used_condom_wrapper_at_work/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | pkhong | null | None | null | null | null | 1333435929 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rqvjc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rqvjc | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rqvjc/tifu_before_sleeping_thirsty_i_drank_mountain_dew/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 7 | null | null | I was about getting ready for bed and I had nothing to drink but I decide to pop a can of Mountain Dew not realizing it was the citrus charge addition. I'm now stuck in bed trying to sleep with class tomorrow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU : Before sleeping, thirsty I drank Mountain Dew Citrus Charge (caffeine) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rqvjc/tifu_before_sleeping_thirsty_i_drank_mountain_dew/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | strongbadiophage | null | None | null | null | null | 1333426723 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rqpwf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rqpwf | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rqpwf/tifuspilled_the_contents_of_my_taco_on_the_ground/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 11 | null | null | I wasted half an hour of my lunch break deciding whether to go to Del Taco, and when I finally did go I had to walk/rush. I was in a rush so I decided to start eating while I was walking. I got stopped at a light and while I opened the wrapping of the first taco I accidentally spill most of the contents on the ground and feel like an idiot in front of all the cars. And I was wearing sunglasses. I got to awkwardly stand there like a fool amongst my lost taco contents until I got the walk signal. A person walked by me from across the street and as soon as he got to the other side I'm sure he figured out who the culprit of the taco spilling was. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU:Spilled the contents of my taco on the ground and felt like an idiot. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rqpwf/tifuspilled_the_contents_of_my_taco_on_the_ground/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333414406 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rqezw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rqezw | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rqezw/tifu_i_took_a_shot_from_the_tiny_cup_my_family/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 43 | null | null | I'm (kinda sorta, but not really) muslim. Got drunk friday night, thought it would be hilarious to take a shot of Vodka from a teeny tiny glass (which oddly resembles a shot glass) that my conservative muslim parents drink Holy Water from. I'm not too religious, but I feel a crossed a major line. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I took a shot from the tiny cup my family drinks Holy Water from. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rqezw/tifu_i_took_a_shot_from_the_tiny_cup_my_family/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333413443 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rqe38 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rqe38 | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rqe38/tifu_i_spent_an_hour_trying_to_build_an_infra_red/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 101 | null | null | But I found out at the end of the YouTube tutorial that the the light isn't supposed to be visible. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I spent an hour trying to build an infra red light pen, but threw it all away in frustration because the light wouldn't turn on | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rqe38/tifu_i_spent_an_hour_trying_to_build_an_infra_red/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ilk425 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333550621 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rsxdj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rsxdj | null | 22 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rsxdj/tifu_i_crashed_my_car_after_sneezing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 144 | null | null | I was driving home from my friend's place and was in the lane closest to the sidewalk as I intended to turn off soon. I felt a huge sneeze coming on and thinking nothing of it, proceeded to let fly. I ended up sneezing hard enough that I jerked my wheel and proceeded to plow into a tree. It was bad enough explaining the accident to the cop but my family thought it was the funniest thing to ever happen. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. I crashed my car after sneezing. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rsxdj/tifu_i_crashed_my_car_after_sneezing/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333549900 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rswsm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rswsm | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rswsm/tifuactually_it_happened_8_years_ago_but_who/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Yep, troll brain is such a troll brain. Thanks goodness I was only 5, so It was not that embraddesing and no one remembers this(I remembered this only now thanks again to troll brain). And I didn't kissed him in lips, so It wasn't so gay :S | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU(actually It happened 8 years ago, but who cares) by accidently kissing my uncle. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rswsm/tifuactually_it_happened_8_years_ago_but_who/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | olithraz | null | None | null | null | null | 1333504875 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rs6vt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rs6vt | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rs6vt/tifu_the_backup_server_for_my_home_network_lost/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | Epic fail.
All the servers and computers rsync their files to the backup server, which has the NAS mounted locally. It lost connection to the NAS, so everything stayed on it instead of going to the nas. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: the backup server for my home network lost connection to the NAS and filled it's drive up... now it wont boot because there is no space | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rs6vt/tifu_the_backup_server_for_my_home_network_lost/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | IFeastOnYerDownvotes | null | None | null | null | null | 1333662040 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rva0a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rva0a | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rva0a/tifu_i_caught_the_oatmeal_i_was_trying_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | I was making oatmeal and I didn't use water. Popped it in the microwave for a minute. I turned around, went to the TV, and started watching an episode of Doctor Who. Next thing I knew, I smelled something burning, so I looked at the microwave and it was a total "*Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!*" moment. Surprise! Oatmeal was on fire! The microwave finally stopped and the ashes of my last packet of oatmeal were sitting in a fire-proof bowl. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I Caught the Oatmeal I Was Trying to Microwave on Fire | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rva0a/tifu_i_caught_the_oatmeal_i_was_trying_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Garglemesh113 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333661086 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rv97a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rv97a | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rv97a/tifu_was_going_to_hook_up_with_this_random_girl_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | So I ask this girl online if she's dtf, and she responded quickly, "Sure, wanna meet at my place tomorrow?"
So I go over, and it turns out she's in a bind. Her housemate is in the hospital for alcohol detox, and she doesn't have a California license yet, so she asks if I can pick her up. "No problem" I says, hopes high that being a gentleman scholar will get me points.
So we get back, and the housemate turns out to be a mother of 2. The rest of the day consists of us awkwardly conversing with each other while we watch over a 2 year old and 3 year old. "I love hanging around toddlers!" said no one ever, but I acted that way. Did I end up reading Goodnight Moon to the 3 year old? I sure did.
The evening rolls around, and we're watching Tangled for the 2nd time, because the kids love it. The mom is now around so I sense my opportunity. "Can I see your room?"... "Sure!" she says.
And I tell you my friends... what happened next was beyond my comprehension. We get up to her room... and it's completely empty. No furniture. No lights. No bed. "Where do you sleep?" I said. "On the couch downstairs" she says.
Yep, that's strike 3. I was out of there.
Last I checked, being "dtf" means that not only are you desiring of sex, but that you have the actual means and opportunity to do so. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Was going to hook up with this random girl I met online... ended up doing errands/babysitting and didn't get any | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rv97a/tifu_was_going_to_hook_up_with_this_random_girl_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Xemeriba | null | None | null | null | null | 1333659141 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rv7iu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rv7iu | null | 105 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rv7iu/tifu_girlfriends_mom_opened_up_my_glove_box_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 416 | null | null | I decided to take my girlfriend and her mom out to brunch this morning. Her mom was applying makeup in the car and got a little lip gloss on her hand so she asked me if I had any napkins in the car. She was sitting shotgun because I felt it was polite to offer her that seat and my girlfriend didn't object.
Time to divert... A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were having a great night. I took her to dinner and a movie and, well she had plans for after that involved my car and a very out-of-the-way area of town. Needless to say, we used a lot of condoms that night. We didn't have a place to throw them out at the time so she tied off all the rubbers, and then stuffed all the wrappers and condoms into my glove compartment so we could throw them away later. We didn't...
Back to today. Without even thinking I said "I think I have some in the glove box" and then everything went in slow motion as I watch her open the compartment and at least a dozen tied off condoms and their wrappers fly into her lap. There are no words to describe any of our reactions. We pulled over near a public trash bin and threw them all away. I'm still waiting for any sort of contact from either of them about the situation.
**Update as of Friday, April 6th: So right now I'm sitting on the couch with both of them. They are laughing and acting like nothing happened but there is still this uncomfortable air about the room. I want to crack a joke about the event or about anything but I'm worried it will make the tension worse.** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Girlfriend's mom opened up my glove box to get a napkin and instead got a lap full of used condoms + wrappers. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rv7iu/tifu_girlfriends_mom_opened_up_my_glove_box_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333650728 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | ruzv0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ruzv0 | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ruzv0/tifu_i_put_in_my_two_weeks_signed_resignation/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | Basically, my workplace is inappropriate as fuck. I made complaints about how inappropriate some of the actions were by management. Examples- Regional Manager tickles lower backs of women in a weird sexual way, GM lives with 3 of his employees and let's them do whatever they want. GM changes clock in times so the Assistant Manager doesn't write up certain people that he favors. They hire illegals. And, much much more
--Anyway, I had times and dates written down of all of these things, now I only have some because my significant other accidentally threw my notes away.
----
But, going back to the story, after I made complaints they made me feel unwelcome and uncomfortable so I made the irrational decision to put in my two weeks. The next day I felt remorse and threw away my pride and asked if I could keep my job. My GM told me that the regional manager had to decide. Now, I am waiting for them to get back to me, but I really don't want to stay there. But, of course I am scared I won't be able to find another job :(
---I really needed somewhere to vent, so I'm really sorry that this isn't that entertaining of a TIFU story since i didn't do that today :(
Blah, I just feel so bad about myself.
---
Edit: I didn't expect so many supportive comments. Thank you so much, Reddit. All of your comments have helped me feel better in this weird time of my life. You are truly a great community and I'm so happy to be a part of it. You guys are awesome! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I put in my two weeks, signed resignation papers, and I don't have a job lined up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ruzv0/tifu_i_put_in_my_two_weeks_signed_resignation/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | HealthyandHappy | null | None | null | null | null | 1333649425 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ruyo4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ruyo4 | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ruyo4/tifu_made_an_amputee_joke_to_a_girl_whose_aunt_is/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 69 | null | null | Been single for a couple weeks so I figured I should try to move on and tried my luck with one lady. I initiate conversation and everything is going well, when she asks how my knee is (We were FB friends, and she must have seen my post about how I need knee surgery).
Jokingly I said that I was going to opt for knee surgery, but the doctor said amputation would be cheaper. Then I said I'd rename myself to Legolas and bill myself as the sexiest thing on one and a half legs at some carnival.
[Without hesitation, the girl stares me down just like this and says "My aunt is a double amputee..."](http://i54.tinypic.com/2wg7ups.jpg)
I can tell that I only have one shot at saying the right thing to fix this shit.
[Instead of speaking, I respond with one of these](http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/images/90/esq-larry-david-store-070811-lg.jpg)
[Followed by one of these...] (http://janeheller.com/mainlyjane/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/larry-and-jeff.jpg)
I didn't even find it funny. In fact, I thought it was terrible, but what the are the chances that I'd make an amputee joke and the girl's relative would actually be an amputee?
[Needless to say, this is the only way I'll ever see that girl again.](http://www.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article383326.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/dexter-pic-mar19-459791501.jpg)
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made an amputee joke to a girl whose aunt is a double amputee. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ruyo4/tifu_made_an_amputee_joke_to_a_girl_whose_aunt_is/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | nastybacon | null | None | null | null | null | 1333640258 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ruqkx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ruqkx | null | 35 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ruqkx/tifu_i_lost_an_sd_card_containing_all_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 151 | null | null | It's also full of facebook pictures of people I know. If anyone finds this card, they'd be like WTF as its rather personalised fetish stuff. If my girlfriend finds it, then I'm going to have to leave the country. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I lost an SD card containing all my personalised porn every girl I have ever known has ever sent me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ruqkx/tifu_i_lost_an_sd_card_containing_all_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333612077 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rucrg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rucrg | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rucrg/tifu_drained_my_car_battery_while_on_the_phone/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 62 | null | null | It was not a good night. Had to miss my tutoring session and call pop-a-lock. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drained my car battery while on the phone. Got a jump from a friend, only to lock my keys in the car while it was on | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rucrg/tifu_drained_my_car_battery_while_on_the_phone/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | 2_da_resQ | null | None | null | null | null | 1333605170 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ru9mu | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ru9mu | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ru9mu/tifu_went_bowling_tried_trick_slid_down_the_lane/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 53 | null | null | At my local bowling lane, I usually pay by the hour. After your time is up, the computer shuts off but you can still bowl about twice before the machine itself shuts off. This time, I rolled 5 strikes in a row and was feeling pretty good about myself scoring 212 total. When my time was done, I tried rolling the ball in between my legs. First time, I pick up my little cousin's 8 lbs ball and roll it weakly into the gutter. So I grabbed my 15 lbs ball. I went for it but I ended up clipping the side of my right leg. I deliberately ran forward faster and so the combination of my momentum and the ball hitting me sent me down at least 1/4th of the lane. I was so embarrassed I pretended to be unconscious for a minute. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Went bowling, tried trick, slid down the lane. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ru9mu/tifu_went_bowling_tried_trick_slid_down_the_lane/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | plinking_zombies | null | None | null | null | null | 1333591174 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rtyy4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rtyy4 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rtyy4/tifu_at_work_searched_for_reddits_with_good/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 23 | null | null | Short version: I typed "porn" in the wrong search box.
Yeah, I figured out how to delete the shortcut.
I'm just lucky I didn't have to start a webex sharing session before I figured that out. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: At work, searched for reddits with good landscape, architecture, and sky photography and wound up with a pornography block warning on my screen and a PORN shortcut in the middle of my browser I couldn't delete. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rtyy4/tifu_at_work_searched_for_reddits_with_good/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | yamancool63 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333586824 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rtv0f | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rtv0f | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rtv0f/tifu_almost_killed_a_customer_after_repairing/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 41 | null | null | Long story short, there was an issue with the brake lever that didn't present itself while I worked on it or while I took it for a test ride (It was getting stuck under certain conditions).
Customer came to pick up the bike, and proceeded to ride it home. Half hour later, he comes back in and explains that he flew over the handlebars because of said brake problem.
So, he's getting a helmet and brake lever on the company, and he's pretty pissed. He was a first time customer as well, what a wonderful first impression! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Almost killed a customer after repairing their bicycle. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rtv0f/tifu_almost_killed_a_customer_after_repairing/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Armonster | null | None | null | null | null | 1333584611 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rtt0p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rtt0p | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rtt0p/drove_2_hours_with_my_friends_to_a_show_on_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 19 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Drove 2 hours with my friends to a show... on the WRONG DATE. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rtt0p/drove_2_hours_with_my_friends_to_a_show_on_the/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | RageousT | null | None | null | null | null | 1333742221 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rws2q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rws2q | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rws2q/tifu_managed_to_spill_chilli_on_my_cake/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | Was at a school trip thing to a particle accelerator. There was a buffet lunch. We had polystyrene tray thing. We were served some chilli, and then got to chose our own dessert. I chose cake. However, in the process of putting a slice of cake on my polystyrene tray thinggummy I managed to tip my tray over and spill chilli all over the cake. Yes, I am malcoordinated as fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: managed to spill chilli on my cake. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rws2q/tifu_managed_to_spill_chilli_on_my_cake/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Admiral_Fancypants | null | None | null | null | null | 1333722822 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rwaqt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rwaqt | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rwaqt/tifu_drove_car_into_bricks_surrounding_sonic/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 32 | null | null | Didn't realize that I had my wheel turned, and when I tried to pull out of the spot swerved into the bricks and heard scraping. I feel like an idiot. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - drove car into bricks surrounding Sonic order sign | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rwaqt/tifu_drove_car_into_bricks_surrounding_sonic/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SHITTY_SKETCH_ARTIST | null | None | null | null | null | 1333697974 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rw0cz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rw0cz | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rw0cz/tifu_i_tried_to_delete_java_over_something_minor/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | I deleted it from program files and now I can't reinstall or remove it via add/remove programs. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I tried to delete Java over something minor, now nothing works. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rw0cz/tifu_i_tried_to_delete_java_over_something_minor/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | TossTime | null | None | null | null | null | 1333688000 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rvuym | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rvuym | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rvuym/tifu_a_chestnut_exploded_in_my_face/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 17 | null | null | Mum roasted some chestnuts dry without slitting them, some exploded in the oven so she took them out to cool. I thought that would be the end of the exploding so I went for a closer inspection. One exploded right in my face and got into my eyes and hair.
I'm fine now but I can still see the shards of chestnut coming at my face in my mind. Never again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: A chestnut exploded in my face. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rvuym/tifu_a_chestnut_exploded_in_my_face/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | dabeezkneez | null | None | null | null | null | 1333685132 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rvsvg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rvsvg | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rvsvg/tifu_made_eggs_explode/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 45 | null | null | Started making some hard-boiled eggs so I'd have them ready for tomorrow. Sat down on the couch but I passed the-F-out. Woke up to smell something burning. I immediately remember I had been boiling the eggs. Run into the kitchen and find that one of the eggs is on fire in the pot. Grab the pot and start running water over them to put out the mini-fire. EGGS EXPLODE EVERYWHERE. My kitchen is currently covered in hard-boiled-nastyness. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made eggs explode. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rvsvg/tifu_made_eggs_explode/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333681317 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rvpte | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rvpte | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rvpte/tifu_my_best_friend_that_i_have_had_feelings_for/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I know a lot of people don't like questions like this but I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, please. I'm 21 and female to clarify. In your experience do best friends turning into something more lead to great relationships? I think what I'm scared of is losing my friend. Thanks to anyone who has advise, it's greatly appreciated. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: My best friend, that I have had feelings for for over 5 years, asked me today if I had feelings for him. I freaked out and answered no. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rvpte/tifu_my_best_friend_that_i_have_had_feelings_for/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333823902 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ry53t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ry53t | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ry53t/tifu_text_a_girl_i_like_way_too_much/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I drank toooo much coffee..yesterday night like a dummy. And couldn't sleep had the shakes. I sent her a email at night then text her constantly even when she said we'd talk later on. I kept texting and texting. Now she's mad. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Text a girl I like way too much. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ry53t/tifu_text_a_girl_i_like_way_too_much/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | rainbowdash64 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333810036 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rxvrb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxvrb | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxvrb/tifu_lost_all_my_money_betting_on_a_horse_with_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 45 | null | null | Went to my very first race today and bet on horse 2 for show, and 4 for the win, both odds were not with me so someone made a side bet with me for the winnings, my jorse came in second so I lost everything. As I left a guy in a wheelchair went by me with his wife, I was walking so close to him I tripped over the wheel and lost my shoe, he swore in some language I didn't know then flipped me off. I finnaly got home and remembered I left my keys in my Mom's car and she was gone, so we were locked out for an hour. I still have not heard the end of It since the door opened. FML | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Lost all my money betting on a horse with a gambler, tripped over guy in a wheelchair, locked myself out of the house. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxvrb/tifu_lost_all_my_money_betting_on_a_horse_with_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | valueraise | null | None | null | null | null | 1333795916 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rxqnw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxqnw | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxqnw/tifu_i_bought_minecraft_my_computer_cant_run_it/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | Well, yup. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I bought Minecraft. My computer can't run it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxqnw/tifu_i_bought_minecraft_my_computer_cant_run_it/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Freedem35 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333784546 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rxnhc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxnhc | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxnhc/plugged_ac_power_supply_into_dc_hard_drive_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | plugged ac power supply into dc hard drive and fried it. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxnhc/plugged_ac_power_supply_into_dc_hard_drive_and/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333780248 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rxl2n | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxl2n | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxl2n/tifu_by_kissing_the_girl_my_friend_liked_in_front/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 6 | null | null | I got the bright idea of kissing the girl my friend liked while (we thought) he was asleep. Much to our dismay, he was still awake and moments later was up and about. After she left, needless to say, he was pissed at us both.
Not 5 hours later after he wasn't so mad, I was up on a ladder helping fix a basketball hoop and the ladder collapsed under me. Couldn't breath, couldn't move, and still hurts to much to be able to just get a glass of water and pain killer. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by Kissing the girl my friend liked... In front of him ([near]Instant Karma occurred) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxl2n/tifu_by_kissing_the_girl_my_friend_liked_in_front/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333775157 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rxhjg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxhjg | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxhjg/kissed_the_girl_my_friend_liked_in_front_of_him/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I got the bright idea of kissing the girl my friend liked while (we thought) he was asleep. Much to our dismay, he was still awake and moments later was up and about. After she left, needless to say, he was pissed at us both.
Not 5 hours later after he wasn't so mad, I was up on a ladder helping fix a basketball hoop and the ladder collapsed under me. Couldn't breath, couldn't move, and still hurts to much to be able to just get a glass of water and pain killer. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Kissed the girl my friend liked... In front of him ([near]Instant Karma occurred) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxhjg/kissed_the_girl_my_friend_liked_in_front_of_him/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | wabbajack984 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333767177 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rxbzc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rxbzc | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rxbzc/tifu_missed_job_orientation_got_lost_peed_pants/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 72 | null | null | Update at the bottom.
TIFU
Well lets see this is the first time I ever had a job, I was to go to a job orientation at 5:30 today at a store I have never been to. I left at 4 because I wanted to show up on time and since I didn't know the area thinking I would have plenty of time to find the store. Well I hit the main road and it is a complete stand still, I moved roughly 10 feet in 10 minutes and this was only a mile from my house! Well I decided to take another route since this one was clogged up this is the first time I got lost because instead of using my brain to get me to a new street (that was very close and not hard to get to) I used the GPS, I drove around for 20 minutes trying to find the road. When I got on the right road I made some decent time until I was stuck in a line of cars for 30 minutes waiting for one light 5 miles ahead. To make this short I show up 30 minutes late and have to reschedule for tomorrow at the same time.
Driving home I got lost for an hour because I used an off ramp a mile ahead of the one I needed.
When I get home I'm upset and tired so I order a pizza, only then did I notice I lost my keys after searching I found them in the lock of the front door. When I got back home and tried to let myself in the house the lock wouldn't move, so I'm standing there with a pizza trying to force the lock open. At this point I was just so tired of this day I wanted it to end. After 10 minutes of trying the keys and checking for open windows I go back and try the keys and they finally worked, a small victory for me.
Well driving around all day I never got a chance to go to the bathroom so I went, when I was finished I was putting it away zipping up my pants when my bladder decided it wasn't done.
So yea that was my day Sorry for the wall of text. Oh it also took me 10 tries to prove I was human in posting this. And forgot to put TIFU in the title thought it could go in the text lol.
**UPDATE**: Well I just got back from the orientation I left 1 hour earlier than yesterday incase there was traffic because I was NOT going to be late again, I was was over 2 hours early. So I sat in my car that had only enough gas to get me home so I couldn't go drive anywhere and have fun, oh and I forgot to mention it was really hot and I could only walk around the store so many times. I did luck out by brining my brothers Nintendo DS that had a pokemon game in it that was awesome. Orientation was fine nothing to exciting, driving back I only got lost once. All right this was a pretty good day I'm thinking when I get home heating up some food about to get on reddit and relax when I heard something by my door, I open it to find I left my keys there AGAIN! and someone was trying to take them, luckily my door hates my key and doesn't always work so she ran away and I got my keys!
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Missed job orientation, got lost, peed pants, got locked out. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rxbzc/tifu_missed_job_orientation_got_lost_peed_pants/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333761958 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rx885 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rx885 | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rx885/missed_job_orientation_got_lost_for_2_hours_peed/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Missed job orientation, got lost for 2 hours, peed my pants, and locked myself out of my house. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rx885/missed_job_orientation_got_lost_for_2_hours_peed/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | shmiz | null | None | null | null | null | 1333914853 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rzmby | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rzmby | null | 49 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rzmby/tifu_i_accidentally_solicited_a_prostitute_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 247 | null | null | Last night I started to get those fourth meal hunger pangs and decided to (somewhat drunkenly) drive to the nearby T-Bell. I live in a pretty shady part of NE Portland. As I pulled up to the intersection of my residential street and 82nd (a busy street), I noticed I pulled too far forward for this woman to cross the street. So, being the gentleman that I am, I backed up a bit to give her space and waved her on. Big mistake. Next thing I know she is opening the passenger door saying "Wassup baby?". I panic, shout "NO MONEY!", and hit the gas. As I'm driving away with my passenger door flapping too and fro, I see a guy trying to catch up to me (presumably her pimp). This happened ON MY STREET. Now I don't drive at night on my street. Wonderful. But, I did get my tacos. They were delicioso.
Edit: I don't understand all these down votes for driving buzzed. Isn't doing stupid shit the point of "TIFU"? I never said it was a good idea, my admission to fucking up is right there in the title!
tl;dr - I almost got the wrong kind of taco during my fourth meal outing. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I accidentally solicited a prostitute and enraged a pimp. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rzmby/tifu_i_accidentally_solicited_a_prostitute_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | notaneggspert | null | None | null | null | null | 1333909876 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rziao | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rziao | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rziao/tifu_by_locking_my_keys_in_my_car_at_a_car_show/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | Got locked out of my car for over an hour at a car show, happened to have a cloths hanger and pliers on me but decided not to try braking into my own car in front of hundreds of other car enthusiast and waited for AAA.
Once the guy was there he wedged the door and unlocked the car in less then a minute and was gone with out anyone really noticing.
All in all it wasn't that bad but damn embarrassing to do it there in front of my friends. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by locking my keys in my car at a car show | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rziao/tifu_by_locking_my_keys_in_my_car_at_a_car_show/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mastiction | null | None | null | null | null | 1333907297 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | rzg9p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rzg9p | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rzg9p/accidentally_sent_dirty_message_to_the_girl_i_like/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | accidentally sent dirty message to the girl i like | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rzg9p/accidentally_sent_dirty_message_to_the_girl_i_like/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333876373 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rz29y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rz29y | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rz29y/tifu_got_drunk_told_the_guy_who_flew_me_across/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 5 | null | null | Basically what the title says. I went out drinking with someone who flew me across the country to see him after he's talked for months about how he'd love to have a relationship with me. Drinking makes me super truthful but it's usually not something that's a problem because I usually don't have much to hide. But I hadn't drank for months, and it was on an empty stomach. I sat there and told him all about how great I think my ex is and how this guy I was visiting was only second place and about how my ex won't ever take me back. And when he tried to get me to tell him how I felt about him other than that I refused to tell him because "it's a secret" Supppperrr awkward and yeah....I feel terrible and dumb and I don't know how to fix that.
Tl;Dr: The title sums it up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU got drunk, told the guy who flew me across the country to visit that he is 2nd to my ex. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rz29y/tifu_got_drunk_told_the_guy_who_flew_me_across/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | WitherSlick | null | None | null | null | null | 1333864941 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ryxyy | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ryxyy | null | 34 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ryxyy/tifui_accidentally_told_a_5_year_old_girl_to_take/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 173 | null | null | I was cleaning the yard shirtless, and I'm around 16. Their were various small children playing, and most were boys. I hear "Why does he have his shirt off" and I said "Why don't you have your shirt off?" thinking it was a boy. It wasn't. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU:I accidentally told a 5 year old girl to take her shirt off. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ryxyy/tifui_accidentally_told_a_5_year_old_girl_to_take/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ConfidentCoward | null | None | null | null | null | 1333862813 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rywu8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rywu8 | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rywu8/tifu_wimped_out_of_making_a_move_on_the_girl_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | We were seeing a movie together with a mutual friend, and we sat next to each other and were sorta flirting the entire time, and I wanted to do something, but I never brought up the courage to do it. And I rarely get a chance to see this girl, so I have no idea when I'll get another oppurtunity. Fuck. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Wimped out of making a move on the girl of my dreams | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rywu8/tifu_wimped_out_of_making_a_move_on_the_girl_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | JeanCreamer | null | None | null | null | null | 1333861855 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | ryw9a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ryw9a | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ryw9a/tifu_late_for_work_shit_pants_puked_on_crotch/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 51 | null | null | Yesterday I decided why not have a party. People started showing up around 9 and we proceeded to get good and hammered. My friend brought a bottle of Belvedere, I had gotten a bottle of Ron Diaz, many potables were imbibed. So, fast forward to that terrible feeling in the morning when you know you're late. 9:45. Im supposed to be there to open at 8. Cant find keys. Still drunk. So i zip over to the store, have another manager meet me there with some extra keys and proceed to walk in the store. I make it, barely, to the girls bathroom before i puke violently, over and over. Now as im puking, I start to get this urge to shit. It gets worse and worse until, yep, im shitting my pants. Every time i heave, i shit a little. The pressure of voiding my stomach contents is making me. I think, I cant shit my pants. I just cant. So i do a quick switch. I hop on the pot and try to shit as fast as possible. Not fast enough. I have to puke. I try to hold it. Nope. So I go ahead and continue shitting and puking into my lap, all over my junk. Done shitting, still puking, right on my shit now as I didnt have time to flush. Finally my body is finished purging foul things and i collapse on the dirty girls bathroom floor, covered in shit and reeking of puke. Then I had to open the store and work for 9 hours in shitty boxers. Fun day. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Late for work, shit pants, puked on crotch. So...perdy good day. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ryw9a/tifu_late_for_work_shit_pants_puked_on_crotch/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Monya619 | null | None | null | null | null | 1333859637 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | ryuvd | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ryuvd | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ryuvd/tifu_i_have_i_have_burnt_mrnoodles/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | Now if you you don't know what MR.noodles are there essentially ramen/noodles with broth all what you have to do is boil water put the mr.noodles and flavoring in the water for about 10 minutes... and this is how it happend. im on the couch watching game of thrones of course when i become hungry so i grab some mr.noodles and put on the stove to boil seing that the episode of game of thrones has finished i go take a nap about an hour later i wake up to my fire alarm going off boiling water everywhere and burnt mr.noodles... when i mean burnt i mean BURNT reddit i have failed the easiest of tasks
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: i have i have burnt MR.noodles. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ryuvd/tifu_i_have_i_have_burnt_mrnoodles/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mimicthefrench | null | None | null | null | null | 1333857967 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rytpb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rytpb | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rytpb/tifu_by_falling_off_my_bed_and_obtaining_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 17 | null | null | This actually happened last weekend, but I just found this subreddit and figured this story fits in perfectly :P
So, this past Sunday (April Fools' Day) I woke up as usual at 10 or so, sat around in bed, and then at around noon, I decided I should go take a shower and face the day, since I had a lot of work to do. Started to climb down from my high-loft bed (I live in a college dorm), but then, instead of my usual caution, I stepped down blindly to the next rung. My sock-covered feet slipped off the rung, and I fell, slamming my chin into the top of the bedframe. I landed in my dirty clothes bin and stood there in a daze for a moment. The whole world was spinning around me, and I took a couple of steps, said "That's going to hurt in the morning" and passed out in font of my terrified roommate. I woke up wedged into the corner of the room where I had fallen, with several people leaning over me. I heard someone ask, "How much did he drink last night?" (I've had 4 beers in my entire life and none anytime near then). I was too weak to really talk, and people just sort of stood there staring at me. It was at this point that I realized that a full night's bladder had been emptied into my jeans (I had pulled them on before getting out of bed). Still woozy, I excused myself and took a shower.
The headache went away in a few days, and the dizziness even quicker, but I have huge bruises all over my body where I hit various things when I fell. However, at least one part of this incident was good: it gave me something to talk about on my date the next day, which went well :)
tl;dr: fell off a high-loft bed, got concussion, passed out, pissed myself in front of a lot of my friends. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by falling off my bed and obtaining a concussion | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rytpb/tifu_by_falling_off_my_bed_and_obtaining_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | pyroarson | null | None | null | null | null | 1333851083 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | ryp1v | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_ryp1v | null | 37 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/ryp1v/tifu_caused_a_forest_fire/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | To be perfectly honest, it was an accident. My friend and I found a propane torch and started fooling around with it. Unfortunately, we were in a field full of dry grass and dead trees. When we lit a fallen branch, the wind blew flaming pieces of it into the grass, and all hell broke loose. My friend quickly rushed to find a container for us to be able to carry water from a nearby pond, but our efforts were futile. We had no choice but to dial 911. The fire kept spreading outwards and took out a fairly large amount of the field.
I take full responsibility for the fire, and have no one to blame but myself. We did not tell the fire crew who started the fire, and they did not ask. In the end, everything turned out alright, except I have burn holes in my sweater now and the grassy field is covered with soot.
edit: Just to clarify, the firefighters treated it like a joke, so obviously it was not too serious. I mean, they came with modified water guns and were even laughing and shooting water at each other. One guy even brought just a plain, old bucket. All was shits and giggles. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Caused a "forest" fire. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ryp1v/tifu_caused_a_forest_fire/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Knitler | null | None | null | null | null | 1333846825 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | rylzn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_rylzn | null | 49 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/rylzn/tifu_i_guy_told_my_best_friend_lesbian_that_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 165 | null | null | We have been best friends, she's basically my only friend, for years and today I just couldn't stand hiding it anymore so I told her how I felt. I know that she didn't and won't ever feel the same but I just couldn't keep holding it in.
All that she told me was that she thinks we should probably not hang out anymore since it wasn't good for me emotionally. So here I am, with reddit being the only ones to talk to since I'm not close friends to anyone else IRL to talk to. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Tifu: I (guy) told my best friend (lesbian) that I love her | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rylzn/tifu_i_guy_told_my_best_friend_lesbian_that_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kwokjoel | null | None | null | null | null | 1334011049 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s1jbr | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1jbr | null | 38 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1jbr/tifu_i_texted_my_girl_best_friend_that_i_loved/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 74 | null | null | I accidentally pressed on the wrong name (as both if their names start with "Au") and now she's just keep spamming my inboxes with "I Love You <3". FML | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I texted my girl best friend that I loved her instead of my gf. Now she's spamming my inbox on nearly every social network I have. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1jbr/tifu_i_texted_my_girl_best_friend_that_i_loved/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334010527 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s1iy8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1iy8 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1iy8/tifu_by_covering_the_inside_of_my_new_shirt_with/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | I had come home from travelling internationally with new clothes. I stupidly had my deodorant and toothpaste in the same bag and toothpaste got on the bottom of the deodorant. When I put deodorant on while wearing my new shirt, I covered the new shirt's inside with toothpaste. Luckily, it came out quite easily. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by covering the inside of my new shirt with toothpaste | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1iy8/tifu_by_covering_the_inside_of_my_new_shirt_with/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | bathedinsanely | null | None | null | null | null | 1334008067 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s1gvi | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1gvi | null | 92 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1gvi/tifu_dutchovened_myself_puked/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1188 | null | null | Last night, I decided to go out for ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant, but my stomach hasn't been acting up lately, so I thought I'd have a treat. I had a cone and I felt fine, other than a little rumbling in my stomach before bed. That night, I had a strange dream, where I was being chased by a monster through a jungle. I kept running, and pulling down leaves, in hopes that I'd trip up the beast. I could feel it getting closer, and I found myself being overcome by waves of nausea as its rancid breath washed over me. I shrieked, as my leg caught on a vine and I went sprawling across the jungle floor, the beast's breath filling my lungs and making me cough and choke...
And then I woke up, still coughing, and realized that I'd pulled all of my blankets over my head, trapping in a night's worth of half-digested milkfarts. The smell was so powerful that I barfed in my mouth, splattering specks of puke willy-nilly as I wrestled my way out of the stanky blankies. Then I took a shower and did one of those things where you slide down the wall and cry, as the realization that I farted so bad that it gave me a nightmare fully sank in.
TL;DR - Dutch ovened myself, barfed. I'm also probably never going to go to the jungle or eat ice cream again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Dutch-ovened myself, puked. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1gvi/tifu_dutchovened_myself_puked/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334007480 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s1gbf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1gbf | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1gbf/tifu_ex_gf_prescription_meds_lost_keys_and_wallet/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 16 | null | null | I was interstate for easter, fast forward to yesterday where I stupidly delayed my flight by 12 hours to spend more time with my ex girlfriend (of 6 years ago).
Ended up taking lots of prescription medication, spending the entire day in bed with her, narrowly missing my flight home, discovering halfway through my $50 taxi journey that I don't have my wallet, only to return home and discover I don't have my house keys.
The only set.
With my RSA token which lets me access my bank account.
fuck | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: ex GF, prescription meds, lost keys and wallet | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1gbf/tifu_ex_gf_prescription_meds_lost_keys_and_wallet/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333982182 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s0tgh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s0tgh | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s0tgh/tifu_i_drunkenly_texted_my_fuck_buddy_who_im/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 49 | null | null | In my defense, he kind of does. Full beard, frequent flannel wearer. But I know he was't happy about it. I mean who would be? Now he either doesn't reply to texts or his replies are super short. Go me! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I drunkenly texted my fuck buddy who I'm crazy about that he resembles Richard Karn | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s0tgh/tifu_i_drunkenly_texted_my_fuck_buddy_who_im/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Alice_Lane | null | None | null | null | null | 1333952159 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s0fxo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s0fxo | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s0fxo/tifu_lost_my_keys_and_cell_phone_in_a_grocery/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | So, I took my friend and her mom to the store because they needed food but they don't have a car. She lives out of town, about an hour and half where I live. Anyways, we were at the store and I noticed: I didn't have my cell phone or keys. I had gotten off the phone with my mom 30 minutes previously so I know I had that in the store, and I was pretty sure my keys were with me also. We looked for a few hours, retracing our steps exactly, asking at the service desk, and searching both my car and the parking lot with no luck. The keys go to my car, which is our ride home. They also are to my house. The phone is a smart phone, with all my contact information in it, and the phone I put down on my job applications. We never found either. I ended up having to call my mom to drive an hour and a half to give me a spare set of keys. She has to work in the morning, and still drive back. She should be home by now, but, she'll be crabby tomorrow I'm sure. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Lost my keys and cell phone in a grocery store | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s0fxo/tifu_lost_my_keys_and_cell_phone_in_a_grocery/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | delofan | null | None | null | null | null | 1333951736 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | s0fpf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s0fpf | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s0fpf/tifu_in_front_of_friends_grandparents_played_porn/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 35 | null | null | I went over to my friend's grandparent's house for an hour or so. We were just in the sun room, her poppop was reading the paper in the same room, and her mommom was in the adjacent room, on the computer. No TV on, just very quiet. We were trying to entertain ourselves with our iPods... And I knew I should close all of my browser windows before letting her have my iPod.
What I SHOULD have done before that: Mute the volume. I did not.
Safari started to continue playing the porn video I was watching last night. I realized this, and snatched the iPod as close to my body, trying to cover the speaker and at the same time turn down the volume. My face went BEET red I'm SURE. All of this did not prevent at least 2 lustful grunts/moans of passion to be heard. Horrified. I was horrified.
After what seemed like a year, my friend said "I swear sometimes your iPod is demented!" ... I couldnt muster more than a "yeah"
Later, in a room without her grandparents, she said "Was that...?" I quickly said "No."
Her: "What was it then? Dogs?"
Me: "Yes. Dogs panting. It was a cute video I was looking at last night."
TL;DR: Forgot to close porn from last night, and to mute volume, so safari moaned and grunted in friend's grandparent's dead-silent house.
EDIT: Spacing looks better. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: In Front of Friend's Grandparents: Played Porn
| null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s0fpf/tifu_in_front_of_friends_grandparents_played_porn/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1333942008 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s08n0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s08n0 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s08n0/in_front_of_friends_grandparents_played_porn/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | In Front of Friend's Grandparents: Played Porn | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s08n0/in_front_of_friends_grandparents_played_porn/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | FireTeam-Violet | null | None | null | null | null | 1333941776 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s08g4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s08g4 | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s08g4/blood_blood_every_where/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Blood... Blood every where... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s08g4/blood_blood_every_where/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334094247 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s38a7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s38a7 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s38a7/t_my_wife_fu_and_gave_me_wrong_directions_on_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Wife told me to go left off an exit and then just follow the road and it (the store) would be on the left. Turns out she meant turn RIGHT and it will be on the left. I ended up driving around the biggest lake in the state (Winnepesake) before realizing that she sent me the wrong direction. Once I realized what happened it took me almost 45 min to get back to the store. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | T My Wife FU and gave me wrong directions on the way to a store I hadn't been to before, ended up turning a 5 min trip into 18 miles around a lake in the wrong direction. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s38a7/t_my_wife_fu_and_gave_me_wrong_directions_on_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Tylerdeedot | null | None | null | null | null | 1334081940 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2wb0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2wb0 | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2wb0/tifu_i_cooked_my_ramen_in_the_microwave_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | OH GOD THE SMELL. i wish i could blame this on being high, or fucked up, but i was sober as.. an ox(?) when i did this.
i put two ramen squares in a bowl, popped it in the microwave and timed it for 5 minutes.
i sat down on the couch to watch an Office re-run, and my smoke alarm began to shriek. i leaped into the kitchen and all i could say was, "jesus not again, no no no no etc."
luckily since i've actually had experience fucking up in EXACTLY this way before, i knew to hold my breath before i opened the microwave. i grabbed the bowl of flaming ramen noodles and chucked it out in the frontyard.
but it was too late. my entire home smells like some sort of toxic/chemical bomb of cheap noodle nastiness. i am ashamed, and worried that i may in fact be losing my mind. also, i'm in desperate need of a new microwave.. and i'm extremely hungry. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU I cooked my ramen in the microwave, and forgot to put in water. (this is the 2nd time this has happened) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2wb0/tifu_i_cooked_my_ramen_in_the_microwave_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | JesusofTorn | null | None | null | null | null | 1334081391 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2vrn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2vrn | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2vrn/tifu_tried_to_show_off_to_some_local_kids_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 17 | null | null | At each crossroad where I live, there's large stone spheres to stop cars coming off the road and into the corners of houses. I decided to drive my Land Rover up one of them to show some kids that my vehicle can actually handle adverse terrain. I crawled up fine but crawling back down the tyre slipped off and to the side, cracking my brake disk, ripping the caliper off it's lower mounting and then going on to put a massive chip in the steering ball joint.
Silver lining: the ball joint was fucked anyway, and the brakes on the other side weren't so good so it gave me an excuse to replace the ball joint and both side brakes. Total cost £150 | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Tried to show off to some local kids
and broke my Land Rover | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2vrn/tifu_tried_to_show_off_to_some_local_kids_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334079661 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2u68 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2u68 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2u68/tifu_i_accidentally_ran_a_red_light_in_our_cbd/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | expecting a fine and possible license revoking (not sure how many points it constituted). This will be devastating if i got caught. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | tifu: I accidentally ran a red light in our CBD late at night | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2u68/tifu_i_accidentally_ran_a_red_light_in_our_cbd/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334073164 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2oa8 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2oa8 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2oa8/today_i_received_a_horny_lesbian_text_from_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | *"I want to kiss your neck and shoulders, you really are the most fantastic woman in the world, I really love you so much <3"*. ^^((1)^)
I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but then it all fell into place. My name starts with an A, so I show up first in almost everyone's phone list. It was *most probably* an accident. That doesn't mean I can't tease her, though. I forwarded the text to her girlfriend saying that the mailman delivered this to the wrong mailbox, and replied to my friend with "*I'd give it a 7/10 for delivery, would fap again*".
While I was laughing at her for her little fail of awkwardness, I got ready for a sleepover/film marathon with a couple of friends, at my friend's house. I start driving, needed to make a halt to pick up my boyfriend, and got caught up in a bit of traffic. I text my friend that I'd be late because of that, and he texts me back: "you mean tomorrow?". I never facepalmed so hard. I felt obliged to share the story with the two lesbians from the first story, I owed them that laugh.
***TL;DR a lesbian friend accidentally sent her horny text message, aimed at her girlfriend, to me. I laughed and teased her, then proceed to show up to a sleepover one day early.***
### Reddit, share me your fail day stories.
^^((1)^) ^^further ^^details ^^left ^^out. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Today, I received a horny lesbian text from a friend, and I showed up to a sleepover one day early. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2oa8/today_i_received_a_horny_lesbian_text_from_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MSciCSI | null | None | null | null | null | 1334071537 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2mw6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2mw6 | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2mw6/tifu_drove_a_motorcycle_for_the_first_time_today/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 194 | null | null | The trust between my friend and I has grown over the time we have known each other. He rides a motorcycle, I drive a car. I had never driven a motorcycle. I made a bet that I could set off on his motorcycle without any kind of stalling on my first attempt since my knowledge of clutch control was so good from my experience driving, he trusted me and agreed.
I was right, I set off on the bike in first gear without a hitch and drove along 20 feet, I was rather proud of myself. What I didn't do was think about what I would do after. I locked the front wheel braking and lowsided.
Total repair bill $400. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drove a motorcycle for the first time today. Crashed a motorcycle for the first time today. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2mw6/tifu_drove_a_motorcycle_for_the_first_time_today/ | null | null | null | null |