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122 | null | Болгария объявила войну Китаю.
Приходит народ(Н) Китая к своему правителю(П) и говорит:
(Н)- Болгары нам войну объявили!
(П)- А сколько составляет население Болгарии?
(Н)- Ну около восьми миллионов.
(П)- А в какой они гостинице?
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/309?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 296 | 0 | 1,673,367,664 | 1,732,740,595 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Болгария","lemma":"болгария","label":"LOC","start_pos":0,"end_pos":8},{"ner":"Китаю","lemma":"китай","label":"LOC","start_pos":24,"end_pos":29},{"ner":"Китая","lemma":"китай","label":"LOC","start_pos":49,"end_pos":54},{"ner":"Болгары","lemma":"болгары","label":"LOC","start_pos":93,"end_pos":100},{"ner":"Болгарии","lemma":"болгария","label":"LOC","start_pos":157,"end_pos":165},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":246,"end_pos":250}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 39 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 2 | 7 | 0 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Учительница спрашивает детей, у кого кем работают родители.
Вовочка:
— А моя мама проститутка!
— Ах, как ты смеешь, иди к директору и расскажи о своем поступке!
Директор был мужчина. Через некоторое время Вовочка входит в класс и что-то прячет за спиной.
— Ну, что сказал директор?
— Директор сказал, что все профессии важны, дал кулек конфет и записал домашний адрес.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/310?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 286 | 0 | 1,673,374,865 | 1,732,740,595 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":60,"end_pos":67},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":386,"end_pos":390}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 66 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 22 | 1 | 18 | true |
122 | null | — Вовочка! Ты почему не выучил стихотворение Сергея Пронина "Жизнь Прекрастна"?
— Марь"я Иван"а! Вчера после уроков я сразу хотел взяться за стихотворение, так как знал что в холодильнике пусто и жрать всё-равно нечего было, когда отец вернулся домой в нашу маленькую коммуналочку расстроенным по поводу его увольнения с работы, пришлось его поддержать — раздавили пузырь на двоих... Потом пришла домой мама, у которой у нас во дворе отобрали всю получку и премиальные. Она всё плакала, пришлось её тоже успокаивать — сообразили второй пузырь на троих... Когда в дом зашёл мой старший брат с фингалом под глазом и который недавно только вышел из СИЗО, мне пришлось его утешать и мы долго беседовали за косяком... А когда моя маленькая сестричка рыдая принесла домой нашу раздавленную кошку, я был уже настолько емоционально неустойчив, что даже не стал её утешать. После чего стихотворение мне показалось немного чёрствым.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/311?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 288 | 0 | 1,673,378,466 | 1,732,740,595 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Сергея Пронина","lemma":"сергей пронин","label":"PER","start_pos":45,"end_pos":59},{"ner":"СИЗО","lemma":"сизо","label":"ORG","start_pos":646,"end_pos":650},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":940,"end_pos":944}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 149 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 26 | 15 | 2 | 26 | 18 | 23 | true |
122 | null | — Здравствуйте! Я у Вас компьютер покупал, так он сдох!
— Так, понятно, мы гарантию какую давали?
— Пожизненную.
— Если сдох-гарантия кончилась.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/312?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 295 | 0 | 1,673,418,066 | 1,732,740,595 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":162,"end_pos":166}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | — У меня кошечка загрустила. Не подскажите, к какому специалисту обратиться?
— Сгодится любой некастрированный кот.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/313?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 296 | 0 | 1,673,425,267 | 1,732,740,595 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":133,"end_pos":137}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 6 | true |
122 | null | — Как вы собираетесь распорядиться пенсией?
— Накопительную часть передам на строительство олимпийский объектов в Сочи, а социальную — на улучшение благосостояние чиновников.
— Странный выбор.
— Да меня никто не спрашивал...
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/301?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 301 | 0 | 1,673,292,059 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Сочи","lemma":"сочи","label":"LOC","start_pos":114,"end_pos":118},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":242,"end_pos":246}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 37 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 11 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Цирк выступал перед сотрудниками компании по случаю ее юбилея. Клоун смешил, фокусник удивлял, а канатоходец выделывал немыслимые трюки, после чего в шутку предложил кому-нибудь из зрителей повторить номер.
Один старичок снял пиджак, залез на канат и несколько раз спокойно прогулялся туда и обратно.
— Кто это? – спросил директор цирка у директора компании.
— Это наш главбух, — гордо ответил тот. — Еще не было случая, чтобы он нарушил баланс.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/302?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 295 | 0 | 1,673,331,660 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Цирк","lemma":"цирк","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":4},{"ner":"Клоун","lemma":"клоун","label":"PER","start_pos":63,"end_pos":68},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":463,"end_pos":467}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 75 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 7 | 2 | 25 | 5 | 18 | true |
122 | null | Папа играет с маленькой дочкой. Неожиданно дочка его отталкивает и говорит:
— Ну все, хватит, у меня голова болит!
Папа недоуменно смотрит на маму:
— Этому вас с детства учат, что-ли?
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/303?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 292 | 0 | 1,673,338,861 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":201,"end_pos":205}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 9 | 2 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Папа ест конфету, рядом крутится маленький сын.
Жена:
— Что, папа не дает конфетку?
Муж (меланхолично):
— Не дает мама, папа не делится...
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/304?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 277 | 0 | 1,673,342,461 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":156,"end_pos":160}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 11 | 2 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Две дамы играют в гольф. Одна бьет по мячу и с ужасом видит как он попадает в одного из мужчин из компании, играющей неподалеку.
Мужчина хватается руками за промежность, падает и начинает со стоном кататься по земле.
Дама подбежала к нему:
(Д) — Простите пожалуйста, я нечаянно!
(М) — Ничего, о-о-о, сейчас пройдет!
(Д) — Разрешите, я вам помогу!
(М) — Ничего, все в порядке, о-о-о-о!
(Д) — Я врач, я смогу вам помочь!
Дама кладет мужчину на спину, расстегивает ему ширинку, запускает вовнутрь руку и начинает массировать.
(Д) — Ну как, лучше?
(М) — О-о-о, это правда очень приятно, но мой большой палец все равно жутко болит!!!
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/305?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 290 | 0 | 1,673,349,662 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Дама","lemma":"дама","label":"PER","start_pos":217,"end_pos":221},{"ner":"Ничего","lemma":"ничто","label":"PER","start_pos":285,"end_pos":291},{"ner":"Разрешите","lemma":"разрешите","label":"LOC","start_pos":322,"end_pos":331},{"ner":"Ничего","lemma":"ничто","label":"PER","start_pos":353,"end_pos":359},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":646,"end_pos":650}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 113 | 0 | 9 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 21 | 13 | 2 | 29 | 14 | 49 | true |
122 | null | Идет женщина по улице. Смотрит в луже лежит мужик, повернула его туда, сюда, грязь обтерла. Смотрит -нормальный вроде бы мужик. Думает — сейчас зайду в магазин за хлебом и на обратном пути заберу его себе. Выходит из магазина, смотрит — а мужика нет...??
— Твою мать, можно подумать три года хлеба не ела...
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/306?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 289 | 0 | 1,673,353,262 | 1,732,740,596 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":325,"end_pos":329}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 58 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 2 | 1 | 18 | 5 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Придёшь к столяру — кругом опилки валяются, к парикмахеру — волосы... А придёшь в банк — денег не видно. Ещё и ручка привязана!
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/294?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 325 | 0 | 1,673,256,055 | 1,732,740,597 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":145,"end_pos":149}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 2 | 7 | true |
122 | null | Позабавила реклама на щите: "Окна из лучших домов Европы". Это даже суровее, чем "Мы отобрали для Вас лучшие зерна кофе".
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
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| [{"ner":"Европы","lemma":"европа","label":"LOC","start_pos":50,"end_pos":56},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":139,"end_pos":143}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Чем вы увлекаетесь?
— Слежу за ядовитыми змеями. Это такой кайф.
— Работаете в женском колективе?
— Да.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/297?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 299 | 0 | 1,673,274,056 | 1,732,740,597 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Слежу","lemma":"следить","label":"LOC","start_pos":24,"end_pos":29},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":123,"end_pos":127}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Китаец, проживающий в Нью–Йорке, обратился в местный банк с просьбой предоставить ему кредит в размере 5 000 долларов, причем только на две недели. В качестве залога под кредит мужчина предложил свой автомобиль – спортивный Ferrari стоимостью 250 000 долларов. Спустя две недели, как китаец и обещал, он вернул банку взятые 5 000 долларов плюс процент за 14 дней – 15 долларов 41 цент. После денежных операций он спокойно забрал свой спорткар. Когда же банковский служащий спросил мужчину, в чем был смысл его действий – взять такой небольшой заем на такой короткий срок под столь дорогостоящий залог, довольный обладатель Ferrari объяснил, что за 15 долларов найти место для двухнедельной охраняемой парковки такого эксклюзивного авто в Нью–Йорке просто нереально, и более удобного способа оставить свою машину и не волноваться за ее судьбу он придумать просто не смог.
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/298?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 309 | 0 | 1,673,277,657 | 1,732,740,597 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Нью–Йорке","lemma":"нью–йорк","label":"LOC","start_pos":22,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"Ferrari","lemma":"ferrari","label":"ORG","start_pos":224,"end_pos":231},{"ner":"Нью–Йорке","lemma":"нью–йорк","label":"LOC","start_pos":738,"end_pos":747},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":888,"end_pos":892},{"ner":"50 00","lemma":"50 00","label":"DATE","start_pos":244,"end_pos":249},{"ner":"5","lemma":"5","label":"NUM","start_pos":103,"end_pos":104},{"ner":"000","lemma":"000","label":"NUM","start_pos":105,"end_pos":108},{"ner":"250","lemma":"250","label":"NUM","start_pos":243,"end_pos":246},{"ner":"000","lemma":"000","label":"NUM","start_pos":247,"end_pos":250},{"ner":"5","lemma":"5","label":"NUM","start_pos":324,"end_pos":325},{"ner":"000","lemma":"000","label":"NUM","start_pos":326,"end_pos":329},{"ner":"14","lemma":"14","label":"NUM","start_pos":355,"end_pos":357},{"ner":"15","lemma":"15","label":"NUM","start_pos":365,"end_pos":367},{"ner":"41","lemma":"41","label":"NUM","start_pos":377,"end_pos":379},{"ner":"15","lemma":"15","label":"NUM","start_pos":648,"end_pos":650}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 140 | 0 | 1 | 0.9875 | 0.0125 | 0 | 12 | 17 | 5 | 12 | 41 | 3 | 17 | true |
122 | null | — Скажите, а фильм "Омерзительная восьмерка" это про "Жигули" или про "Балтику"?
— Про Windows!
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/299?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 300 | 0 | 1,673,281,258 | 1,732,740,597 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":113,"end_pos":117}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 20 | 0 | 0 | 0.96875 | 0.03125 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | — Сеня!?.. , таки шо я вас за Москву хотел спросить... , Скока там стоит снять квартиру?..
— Яша!?.. , Я вас умоляю! , снять квартиру там можно тока на фотоаппарат!
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/300?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 301 | 0 | 1,673,288,459 | 1,732,740,597 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Сеня","lemma":"сеня","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":6},{"ner":"Москву","lemma":"москва","label":"LOC","start_pos":30,"end_pos":36},{"ner":"Скока","lemma":"скока","label":"PER","start_pos":57,"end_pos":62},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":182,"end_pos":186}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 3 | 17 | true |
122 | null | – Холодно как-то, прям замерзла вся.
– Включи обогреватель.
– Вообще-то это был тонкий намек…
– Понял, не дурак. Ты хочешь, чтобы его включил я. | https://t.me/smeh_76/289?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 332 | 0 | 1,673,194,033 | 1,732,740,598 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Включи","lemma":"включи","label":"PER","start_pos":39,"end_pos":45}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 0 | 3 | 7 | 12 | true |
122 | null | В магазине на кассе.
— Молодой человек, 18 есть?
— Но я ж "Пепси" покупаю!
— А я просто интересуюсь. Я женщина свободная. | https://t.me/smeh_76/290?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 331 | 0 | 1,673,201,234 | 1,732,740,598 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Пепси","lemma":"пепси","label":"ORG","start_pos":59,"end_pos":64},{"ner":"18","lemma":"18","label":"NUM","start_pos":40,"end_pos":42}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Преступники в тюрьмах кушают за счёт государства, а дети в школах — за счёт родителей.
Прелесть. | https://t.me/smeh_76/291?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 331 | 0 | 1,673,204,834 | 1,732,740,598 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — А тебе какие женщины нравятся?
— Шахматистки!
— А почему?
— Они молчат часами, следят за фигурами, знают интересные позиции! | https://t.me/smeh_76/292?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 324 | 0 | 1,673,245,253 | 1,732,740,598 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Одесса. Ювелирный магазин. Юноша покупает обручальное кольцо:
— Уважаемый сделайте мне, пожалуйста, гравировку на колечке "Фае от Мони".
— Молодой человек, я бы посоветовал вам написать проще и короче: "От Мони". Мало ли...
Анекдоты от дяди Миши
😂 | https://t.me/smeh_76/293?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 318 | 0 | 1,673,252,454 | 1,732,740,598 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Мони","lemma":"мони","label":"PER","start_pos":130,"end_pos":134},{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":241,"end_pos":245}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 38 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 8 | 3 | 16 | true |
122 | null | Учительница:
— Вова, назови примеры местоимения.
— Ну... спальня, заднее сиденье в машине...
— Вова! Мы же в школе! Местоимения это...
— Учительская! | https://t.me/smeh_76/282?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 342 | 0 | 1,673,165,229 | 1,732,740,599 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Вова","lemma":"вова","label":"PER","start_pos":15,"end_pos":19},{"ner":"Вова","lemma":"вова","label":"PER","start_pos":95,"end_pos":99}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Все охранники в ТЦ всегда грустные.
Мне кажется, они — это мужья, которые ждали жeн возле магазина и их не забрали. | https://t.me/smeh_76/283?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 330 | 0 | 1,673,168,830 | 1,732,740,599 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"ТЦ","lemma":"тц","label":"ORG","start_pos":16,"end_pos":18}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Мария Шарапова пожертвовала $25 тысяч на борьбу с лесными пожарами в Австралии.
Это ровно на $25 тысяч больше, чем Мария пожертвовала на борьбу с лесными пожарами в Сибири. | https://t.me/smeh_76/285?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 326 | 0 | 1,673,176,031 | 1,732,740,599 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Мария Шарапова","lemma":"мария шарапов","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":14},{"ner":"Австралии","lemma":"австралия","label":"LOC","start_pos":69,"end_pos":78},{"ner":"Мария","lemma":"мария","label":"PER","start_pos":115,"end_pos":120},{"ner":"Сибири","lemma":"сибирь","label":"LOC","start_pos":165,"end_pos":171},{"ner":"25","lemma":"25","label":"NUM","start_pos":29,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"25","lemma":"25","label":"NUM","start_pos":94,"end_pos":96},{"ner":"$25 ","lemma":"$25 ","label":"DATE","start_pos":28,"end_pos":32}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 28 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 6 | 1 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Сделал, как советовали в интернете, чтобы выучить английский: поехал в Англию, набедокурил, сел в тюрьму. Целый год на государственном содержании среди носителей. Теперь в совершенстве знаю хинди и арабский, неплохо китайский и какой-то африканский диалект. Английский — по-прежнему со словарем… | https://t.me/smeh_76/286?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 334 | 0 | 1,673,179,631 | 1,732,740,599 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Англию","lemma":"англия","label":"LOC","start_pos":71,"end_pos":77},{"ner":"Английский","lemma":"английский","label":"PER","start_pos":258,"end_pos":268}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 40 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 5 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Обсуждение в интернете часто напоминает анализ кала — кто-то нагадил и ушёл, а другие сидят, копаются, спорят... | https://t.me/smeh_76/287?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 331 | 0 | 1,673,186,832 | 1,732,740,599 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Квартира нового русского — это когда в комнате стоит аквариум, в нем плавает бегемот — и все это не бросается в глаза... | https://t.me/smeh_76/275?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 362 | 0 | 1,673,093,114 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | В буфете очередь, стоят две девушки с куриным филе в тарелках, за ними парень. Парень:
— Дайте, пожалуйста, свинину под сыром.
— Свинины нет, хотите куриные грудки, как у девушек? | https://t.me/smeh_76/276?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 363 | 0 | 1,673,100,314 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 30 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 11 | 1 | 12 | true |
122 | null | — Милая, а как ты относишься к aн@льному ceксу?
— Ну, если тебе этого действительно хочется и нравится, то почему нет?
— Здорово! А я-то боялся, что ты будешь против.
— Да ты знаешь, меня вообще мало интересует, как вы там с друзьями общаетесь. | https://t.me/smeh_76/278?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 370 | 0 | 1,673,107,516 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Милая","lemma":"милый","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"Здорово","lemma":"здоровый","label":"LOC","start_pos":121,"end_pos":128}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 44 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 15 | true |
122 | null | — Папа, а бабушка точно этим поездом поедет?
— Точно сынок, точно, ты не отвлекайся, откручивай гайки... | https://t.me/smeh_76/279?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 368 | 0 | 1,673,114,716 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 8 | true |
122 | null | Если ребёнок слушает родителей, то, видимо, он думает о чём-то о своём.
Если жена слушает мужа, то, видимо, он говорит о повышении зарплаты.
Если муж слушает жену, то, видимо, футбол уже кончился, а новости ещё не начались.
Если тёща слушает зятя, то, видимо, это чужой зять.
Если зять слушает тёщу, то, видимо, он работает в ФСБ. | https://t.me/smeh_76/280?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 358 | 0 | 1,673,118,317 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"ФСБ","lemma":"фсб","label":"ORG","start_pos":326,"end_pos":329}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 56 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 10 | 6 | 0 | 16 | 7 | 21 | true |
122 | null | Почему нажираться до сизых соплей в клубе — это красиво тусоваться, а интеллигентно пить одному дома — это алкоголизм? | https://t.me/smeh_76/281?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 368 | 0 | 1,673,158,028 | 1,732,740,600 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 3 | 4 | true |
122 | null | На следующей неделе моя жена с детьми уезжает погостить у мамы. И я на две недели, вместе с диваном, телеканалом
"Спорт", пивом, удочками, лодкой, многочисленными друзьями и соседкой Ленкой медленно погружусь в пучину "одиночества". | https://t.me/smeh_76/268?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 352 | 0 | 1,673,021,109 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Спорт","lemma":"спорт","label":"ORG","start_pos":114,"end_pos":119},{"ner":"Ленкой","lemma":"ленка","label":"PER","start_pos":183,"end_pos":189}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 15 | 2 | 12 | true |
122 | null | Все-таки мужики и женщины разные. Даже фраза, — "меня никто не тр%хает" — у мужчин, признак состоявшейся карьеры, а у женщин признак несостоявшейся личной жизни. | https://t.me/smeh_76/269?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 351 | 0 | 1,673,028,310 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 25 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Очевидцы утверждают, что при краш-тесте нового БЕЛАЗа бетонное препятствие пыталось отползти в сторону | https://t.me/smeh_76/270?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 346 | 0 | 1,673,031,911 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"БЕЛАЗа","lemma":"белаза","label":"ORG","start_pos":47,"end_pos":53}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 13 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 1 | true |
122 | null | Девчонки! Помните, что ПИНГВИНЫ — это ласточки, которые ели после
18-00! | https://t.me/smeh_76/271?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 343 | 0 | 1,673,071,511 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"ПИНГВИНЫ","lemma":"пингвины","label":"ORG","start_pos":23,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"18-00","lemma":"18-00","label":"DATE","start_pos":66,"end_pos":71},{"ner":"00","lemma":"00","label":"NUM","start_pos":69,"end_pos":71}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 11 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Достали две мыши бутылку водки, а закуски не нашли. Прибежали к вороне, а та на дереве с куском сыра сидит.
— Эй, ворона, выпить хочешь?
— Да!
Сыр упал, мыши с сыром были таковы. На следующий день мыши снова:
— Ворона, выпить хочешь?
Ворона молчит. Одна мышь наливает водку в стакан и спрашивает:
— Тебе полный?
— Да!
Сыр упал и мыши с сыром были таковы.
На следующий день мыши снова прибегают и спрашивают:
— Ворона, пить будешь?
Ворона молчит. Мышь наливает в стакан водки и спрашивает:
— Тебе полный?
Ворона молчит.
— Ворона, ты что, думаешь мы тебя опять на[дол]бать хотим?
— Да-ааааа... | https://t.me/smeh_76/272?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 359 | 0 | 1,673,078,712 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Сыр","lemma":"сыр","label":"PER","start_pos":143,"end_pos":146},{"ner":"Ворона","lemma":"ворон","label":"PER","start_pos":211,"end_pos":217},{"ner":"Сыр","lemma":"сыр","label":"PER","start_pos":318,"end_pos":321},{"ner":"Ворона","lemma":"ворон","label":"PER","start_pos":410,"end_pos":416},{"ner":"Ворона","lemma":"ворона","label":"PER","start_pos":431,"end_pos":437}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 104 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 24 | 6 | 2 | 24 | 4 | 38 | true |
122 | null | Крокодил Гена приходит в зоомагазин.
— Дайте мне "Педигри", "Чаппи", мотыля, корм для черепах, для мышей, ещ заверните улиток, ещ...
Продавец:
— Сколько же у Вас животных???
Гена:
— Всего одно, но я пытаюсь понять, что ЭТО... | https://t.me/smeh_76/274?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 358 | 0 | 1,673,089,513 | 1,732,740,601 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Крокодил Гена","lemma":"крокодил ген","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":13},{"ner":"Гена","lemma":"гена","label":"PER","start_pos":174,"end_pos":178}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 37 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 3 | 2 | 11 | 1 | 23 | true |
122 | null | Перед вратами рая стоят водитель автобуса и священник.
К ним выходит Святой Петр:
— Ты, водитель, проходи, а ты, батюшка, подожди немного.
Священник возмущается:
— Как так? Я всю жизнь церкви посвятил!
— Ну и что? У тебя в церкви все спали, а у него в автобусе — все молились! | https://t.me/smeh_76/261?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 368 | 0 | 1,672,985,105 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Святой Петр","lemma":"святой пётр","label":"LOC","start_pos":69,"end_pos":80}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 50 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 13 | 3 | 18 | true |
122 | null | Вчера помог поскользнувшейся бабушке встать, а теперь ещё сегодня. Когда я загадывал поднять бабок в новом году, я имел в виду немного другое. | https://t.me/smeh_76/262?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 374 | 0 | 1,672,992,306 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 6 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Два депутата ищут могилу своего недавно скончавшегося коллеги на Ваганьковском кладбище. Ищут, ищут, но не могут найти. Вдруг один говорит другому:
— Слушай, а может, он могилу на жену записал? | https://t.me/smeh_76/263?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 369 | 0 | 1,672,995,906 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Ваганьковском кладбище","lemma":"ваганьковский кладбище","label":"LOC","start_pos":65,"end_pos":87}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 30 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Путин раскритиковал низкие доходы россиян.
Минфин тоже раскритиковал низкие доходы россиян.
Олигархи, депутаты, генералы и попы тоже раскритковали низкие доходы россиян!
Думаю, что теперь точно штрафы введут, за наличие низких доходов. | https://t.me/smeh_76/264?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 364 | 0 | 1,673,003,107 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Путин","lemma":"путин","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":5},{"ner":"Минфин","lemma":"минфин","label":"ORG","start_pos":43,"end_pos":49}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 13 | 4 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Лена, хочешь, я научу тебя летать?
— А я не залечу? | https://t.me/smeh_76/265?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 359 | 0 | 1,673,006,708 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Лена","lemma":"лена","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":6}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 12 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Сижу расстроенная, подходит дочка, даёт конфетку. Я ей говорю:
— У меня, доченька, взрослые проблемы, и этим их не решить.
Она уходит, через пять минут возвращается с бутылкой вискаря и спрашивает:
— А так? | https://t.me/smeh_76/266?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 361 | 0 | 1,673,013,908 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 34 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 6 | 1 | 8 | 1 | 13 | true |
122 | null | Жена, самостоятельно починившая розетку, унитаз, ванную и замок в двери, полдня доказывала мужу, что у неё нет любовника. | https://t.me/smeh_76/267?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 364 | 0 | 1,673,017,509 | 1,732,740,602 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Жена говорит мужу:
— "Мы с тобой нигде не бываем! "
— Ладно, завтра пойду мусор выбрасывать, возьму с собой. | https://t.me/smeh_76/256?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 376 | 0 | 1,672,927,359 | 1,732,740,603 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 20 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Разговор двух подруг.
— Никогда больше не пойду с мужем ловить рыбу! Сначала я, оказывается, громко говорила, затем нацепила неправильную наживку, потом слишком рано подсекла. А кончилось все совсем скверно: я наловила рыбы больше, чем он... | https://t.me/smeh_76/257?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 375 | 0 | 1,672,930,960 | 1,732,740,603 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 36 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 10 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Сын спрашивает у отца: — А как змея разговаривает?
Отец, глядя на тёщу: — Ну, что же вы молчите? Внук интересуется! | https://t.me/smeh_76/259?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 365 | 0 | 1,672,941,761 | 1,732,740,603 | 4,565 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Жена ластится к мужу:
— Милый, я пришла к тебе из сказки!
— Из какой?
— Из доброй.
— Что, выгнали? | https://t.me/smeh_76/260?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 395 | 0 | 1,672,945,363 | 1,732,740,603 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Милый","lemma":"милый","label":"LOC","start_pos":24,"end_pos":29}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | По наивности своей Пятачок полагал что Вини питается исключительно мёдом, поэтому не обращал внимания на то что Вини кормил его шесть раз в день. | https://t.me/smeh_76/248?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 390 | 0 | 1,672,848,153 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Вини","lemma":"вини","label":"PER","start_pos":39,"end_pos":43},{"ner":"Вини","lemma":"вини","label":"PER","start_pos":112,"end_pos":116}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Тараканы могут выжить при ядерной войне, а от удара газетой выжить не могут.
Это ещё раз доказывает, насколько опасны современные бумажные СМИ. | https://t.me/smeh_76/249?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 386 | 0 | 1,672,855,354 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"СМИ","lemma":"сми","label":"ORG","start_pos":139,"end_pos":142}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Еврейский новогодний тост:
В Новый год всё сбывается. Даже то, что в течение года сбыть не удалось! | https://t.me/smeh_76/250?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 383 | 0 | 1,672,858,955 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,577 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Прораб:
— Абрам, почему ты несешь четыре кирпича, когда все другие несут по восемь?
Абрам:
_Они слишком ленивы, им лень сходить два раза! | https://t.me/smeh_76/251?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 376 | 0 | 1,672,898,555 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Абрам","lemma":"абрам","label":"PER","start_pos":10,"end_pos":15}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 23 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Подходит мужик к воротам своего соседа и стучится. Стучит, стучит никто не отвечает. Стучит сильнее. К воротам тихо подходит собака и говорит:
Мужик, не стучи, никого дома нет.
Мужик падает в обморок. Потом приходит в себя, смотрит на собаку и говорит:
Ты чего, собака, гавкать не умеешь?
Собака отвечает:
Умею, но не хотела тебя пугать. | https://t.me/smeh_76/253?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 375 | 0 | 1,672,909,357 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Мужик","lemma":"мужик","label":"PER","start_pos":143,"end_pos":148}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 55 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 20 | 6 | 0 | 11 | 4 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Что от великого до смешного — один шаг, доказал Наполеон, а что от смешного до великого — Юрий Никулин! | https://t.me/smeh_76/254?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 371 | 0 | 1,672,916,557 | 1,732,740,604 | 4,565 | 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| [{"ner":"Наполеон","lemma":"наполеон","label":"PER","start_pos":48,"end_pos":56},{"ner":"Юрий Никулин","lemma":"юрий никулин","label":"PER","start_pos":90,"end_pos":102}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Сотрудники одной фирмы потихоньку от шефа выпивали на работе. Спиртной напиток не оставлял после себя запаха. Через некоторое время шеф вызывает к себе пьянчужек.
— Если уж пьете, — говорит им, - то пейте алкоголь с запахом. Пусть посетители лучше думают, что имеют дело с пьяными профессионалами, чем с трезвыми идиотами!!!... | https://t.me/smeh_76/242?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 376 | 0 | 1,672,819,349 | 1,732,740,605 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 51 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 8 | 5 | 1 | 15 | 2 | 14 | true |
122 | null | — Ты что делаешь в субботу?
— Иду с сыном на природу, будем запускать в воздух змея! А ты?
— У меня такая же программа — тещу в аэропорт поеду провожать... | https://t.me/smeh_76/243?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 382 | 0 | 1,672,822,950 | 1,732,740,605 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 9 | true |
122 | null | В школе учительница дает задание детям:
— Дети, давайте пофантазируем, что получится, если скрестить двух животных разных видов.
Тянет Машенька руку, учительница ее вызывает и она отвечает:
— Если скрестить корову и свинью, то получится сытное молоко и вкусное мясо.
Учительница хвалит ее и вызывает Катеньку. Та отвечает:
— Если скрестить кролика с курицей, то получится мех и яйца.
Тут руку тянет Вовочка. Учительница его не хотела спрашивать, но больше никто руку не тянет, пришлось спросить. А Вовочка отвечает:
— Если скрестить лобковых вшей со светлячками...
— ЧТО? — Поперхнулась учительница. — Что ты такое говоришь?
— Ну, представьте. Вы приходите домой, вам скучно, одиноко. Одна ложитесь в постель. Вас никто не согревает, поговорить не с кем, вам грустно. И тут, вы поднимаете одеяло, а там ЛАСВЕГАС! | https://t.me/smeh_76/245?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 382 | 0 | 1,672,833,751 | 1,732,740,605 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Тянет Машенька","lemma":"тянуть машенька","label":"PER","start_pos":129,"end_pos":143},{"ner":"Катеньку","lemma":"катеньку","label":"PER","start_pos":300,"end_pos":308},{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":399,"end_pos":406},{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":498,"end_pos":505}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 127 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 31 | 14 | 1 | 26 | 5 | 42 | true |
122 | null | Едет мужик на своей "девятке". Впереди "Мерс", из тех, что спортивные, но "дамского покроя", свежий, дорогой, понятно. Не суть почему, но мужик своей "девятиной" достает корму "Мерса". Остановился он, "Мерс" тоже.
Из "Мерса" выходит "упакованная" "Телка". Мужик на раскаяние не торопится.
— Ну, что делать будем?
Мужик жмет плечами.
Телка:
— Я мужу сейчас позвоню (доставая мобилу).
Мужик — ноль эмоций.
Телка набирает номер, стоя совсем рядом с мужиком, и когда на звонок отвечают, мужик слышит обе стороны разговора — так сильно установлена громкость на телкиной мобиле, и так близко она стоит. Диалог по телефону:
— Я в аварию попала!
Пауза, затем ответ:
— А какая у него машина?
Телка, стоя в метре от девятки, и, видимо не отличая ее от КамАЗа, поворачивается к мужику и спрашивает:
— Какая у тебя машина?
Мужика "пробивает":
— "ЯГУАР"!!!
Телка в трубу:
— У него "Ягуар"!
Пауза, дольше первой, затем ответ:
— Спроси, у него к тебе претензии есть?
Телка ретранслирует вопрос мужику.
Тот, выдержав паузу, едва ли не с ярко выраженным благородством, отвечает отрицательно.
Телка, в трубу:
— У него претензий нет!
Оттуда:
— Тогда ВАЛИ ОТТУДА НА х%№ СКОРЕЕ!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/246?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 386 | 0 | 1,672,840,952 | 1,732,740,605 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Мерс","lemma":"мерс","label":"ORG","start_pos":40,"end_pos":44},{"ner":"Мерс","lemma":"мерс","label":"ORG","start_pos":177,"end_pos":181},{"ner":"Мерса","lemma":"мерса","label":"ORG","start_pos":218,"end_pos":223},{"ner":"КамАЗа","lemma":"камаз","label":"ORG","start_pos":742,"end_pos":748},{"ner":"ЯГУАР","lemma":"ягуар","label":"ORG","start_pos":834,"end_pos":839},{"ner":"Ягуар","lemma":"ягуар","label":"ORG","start_pos":869,"end_pos":874},{"ner":"ВАЛИ","lemma":"вали","label":"ORG","start_pos":1131,"end_pos":1135}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 188 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 26 | 12 | 1 | 59 | 19 | 97 | true |
122 | null | Мне сегодня цыганка за 50 баксов нагадала, что я лох. | https://t.me/smeh_76/247?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 384 | 0 | 1,672,844,553 | 1,732,740,605 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"50","lemma":"50","label":"NUM","start_pos":23,"end_pos":25}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 10 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Стивен Сигал:
— Вчера на мой счет в Сбербанке кто-то ошибочно перевел 73 доллара.
— Это не ошибка, это пенсия. | https://t.me/smeh_76/235?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 393 | 0 | 1,672,747,345 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Стивен Сигал","lemma":"стивен сигал","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":12},{"ner":"Сбербанке","lemma":"сбербанк","label":"ORG","start_pos":36,"end_pos":45},{"ner":"73","lemma":"73","label":"NUM","start_pos":70,"end_pos":72}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 20 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Косметика — это такая вещь, которая помогает женщине не пугать окружающих своей естественной красотой. | https://t.me/smeh_76/236?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 393 | 0 | 1,672,754,545 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Парикмахерская: Девушка стрижёт парня и спрашивает:
— У Вас теща есть?
— Нет... нету у меня тёщи... пауза...
Снова спрашивает:
— У Вас тёща есть?
— Я же сказал, тьфу тьфу, нету, пауза...
Снова спрашивает:
— У Вас тёща есть?
— Ну нету, что Вы пристали?
— А мне так стричь легче... Я, как спрошу про тёщу у Вас волос дыбом встаёт! | https://t.me/smeh_76/237?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 404 | 0 | 1,672,758,146 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 62 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 15 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 26 | true |
122 | null | Сегодня на работе часа полтора не было ИНТЕРНЕТА...
Выпили весь чай... разговорились... познакомились... | https://t.me/smeh_76/238?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 778 | 0 | 1,672,761,746 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 13 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Интересно, как быстро Жерар просечёт что в России, при таких друзьях, налоги вообще можно не платить? | https://t.me/smeh_76/239?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 388 | 0 | 1,672,768,947 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Жерар","lemma":"жерар","label":"PER","start_pos":22,"end_pos":27},{"ner":"России","lemma":"россия","label":"LOC","start_pos":43,"end_pos":49}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Дорогие девушки, если парень смотрит вам в рот, это еще не значит, что он внимательно вас слушает, может он просто примеряет... | https://t.me/smeh_76/240?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 386 | 0 | 1,672,772,548 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 5 | true |
122 | null | RE: Если не выходить на улицу и каждый день смотреть новости по первому каналу, можно нечаянно подумать, что всё просто за[ши]бись.
А если вернуться с улицы домой и посмотреть новости по НТВ, то можно подумать — просто за[ши]бись, что я умудрился живым до дому дойти! | https://t.me/smeh_76/241?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 380 | 0 | 1,672,812,148 | 1,732,740,606 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"улицу","lemma":"улицу","label":"LOC","start_pos":24,"end_pos":29},{"ner":"каждый день смотреть","lemma":"каждый день смотреть","label":"PER","start_pos":32,"end_pos":52},{"ner":"новости по первому каналу","lemma":"новости по первому каналу","label":"PER","start_pos":53,"end_pos":78},{"ner":"можно нечаянно подумать","lemma":"можно нечаянно подумать","label":"PER","start_pos":80,"end_pos":103},{"ner":"что всё","lemma":"что всё","label":"PER","start_pos":105,"end_pos":112},{"ner":"за[ши]бись.","lemma":"за[ши]бись.","label":"ORG","start_pos":120,"end_pos":131}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 45 | 0 | 3 | 0.981132 | 0.018868 | 0 | 3 | 8 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 8 | true |
122 | null | — Ладно, поцелуй меня в знак перемирия.
— А где он там у тебя? | https://t.me/smeh_76/229?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 430 | 0 | 1,672,682,540 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Ладно","lemma":"ладно","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":7}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 14 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 5 | true |
122 | null | Решил разбогатеть, начал придумывать бизнес-план, но оказалось, что все мои планы уже прописаны в Уголовном кодексе... | https://t.me/smeh_76/230?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 424 | 0 | 1,672,686,141 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 16 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 1 | 4 | true |
122 | null | — У меня две новости, хорошая и не очень
— Ну давай с хорошей
— К нам едут две телочки!
— О, а какая не очень?
— А обе не очень! | https://t.me/smeh_76/231?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 426 | 0 | 1,672,725,741 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Хотите, чтобы муж во время готовки шутил, смеялся и крутился где-то рядом? Пригласите симпатичную подругу в мини юбке помочь вам по кухне. | https://t.me/smeh_76/232?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 404 | 0 | 1,672,732,942 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 22 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 4 | true |
122 | null | Есть такие женщины, которые гордо говорят: "Я одна такая! ". Смотришь на такую, и думаешь: "И слава богу! ". | https://t.me/smeh_76/233?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 401 | 0 | 1,672,736,543 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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122 | null | Британские учёные выяснили, что лежать в понедельник утром в тёплой кровати и никуда не идти — ох[рен]енно. | https://t.me/smeh_76/234?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 396 | 0 | 1,672,743,744 | 1,732,740,607 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Решили казнить американца, француза и русского изощренным способом — спустить на остров амазонок и кто дольше продержится - того помилуют.
Ну, спускают их по очереди с вертолета... Америкоса сразу порвали из-за ceкс-голода. Француз успел что-то ляпнуть и его постигла та же участь.
На русского накинулись, но тут же расступились и встали плотным кольцом.
Ну, тот постоял, покурил — не трогают. Поднимают его, дают указ о помиловании и просят рассказать секрет.
— А я как спустился, сразу сказал: кто меня первой тронет, последней еб#ть буду! | https://t.me/smeh_76/222?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 406 | 0 | 1,672,646,535 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 84 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 23 | 11 | 0 | 19 | 4 | 20 | true |
122 | null | Одесса. Молодой человек заходит в магазин головных уборов. Долго выбирает, и, наконец говорит:
— Дайте мне посмотреть вон ту кепочку.
Старый еврей за прилавком поворачивается и дает прошенный товар, после чего отворачивается от покупателя и продолжает заниматься каким-то своим делом. Покупатель примеряет кепку, смотрится в зеркало. В это время еврей поворачивается опять к прилавку и так испуганно говорит
:
— А де етот жлоб, шо просил у меня кепочЪку???
Покупатель, охренев:
— Так это я...
Продавец:
— Граф, вилитый граф, шоб я так жил!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/223?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 405 | 0 | 1,672,650,136 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Граф","lemma":"граф","label":"PER","start_pos":505,"end_pos":509}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 84 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 16 | 6 | 0 | 21 | 8 | 28 | true |
122 | null | Уважаемая компания Логитеч! Переместите на ваших клавиатурах букву Ю подальше от буквы Б, а букву 3 подальше от Х!
Заранее спасибо.
Подпись: Юля Зуева. | https://t.me/smeh_76/224?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 400 | 0 | 1,672,657,336 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Логитеч","lemma":"логитеч","label":"LOC","start_pos":19,"end_pos":26},{"ner":"Юля Зуева","lemma":"юля зуев","label":"PER","start_pos":141,"end_pos":150},{"ner":"3","lemma":"3","label":"NUM","start_pos":98,"end_pos":99}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 3 | 6 | true |
122 | null | Подходит маленький мальчик к отцу и кричит:
— Папа, папа, ты когда-нибудь видел нашу маму голой?
— Ммм... эээ...
— Иди скорей посмотри на этот ужас!!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/225?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 414 | 0 | 1,672,660,937 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Ммм","lemma":"ммм","label":"PER","start_pos":99,"end_pos":102}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 26 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 12 | true |
122 | null | — Вовочка, тебе уже шесть лет — и я должен рассказать, откуда берутся дети...
— Ну вот... В три года я узнал, что у нас не живёт домовой, в четыре
— что не бывает Бабы-Яги, в пять — что Деда Мороза не существует...
Если сейчас окажется, что взрослые не е@утся - то во что остаётся верить?!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/226?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 415 | 0 | 1,672,668,138 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":2,"end_pos":9},{"ner":"Бабы-Яги","lemma":"бабы-яги","label":"PER","start_pos":163,"end_pos":171},{"ner":"Деда Мороза","lemma":"деда мороз","label":"PER","start_pos":186,"end_pos":197}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 56 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 7 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 17 | true |
122 | null | Сидят два кума под вишней, бутылочку распивают. Один говорит:
— Кум, пошли ко мне домой. Что мы как дети под деревом. А у меня жена и варенички налепила, и сальцо есть, и кровяночка, буженинка, опять же. И бутылек немаленький припрятан. Идем?
— Не, я к тебе не пойду.
— Чего?
— Да я, это...
— Что?
— Да я твою жену, это...
— Что?
— Ну, трахаю я её!
— Тю, ну ты дурак. Я её тоже трахаю. Так что, мне домой не ходить? | https://t.me/smeh_76/227?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 423 | 0 | 1,672,671,739 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Кум","lemma":"кум","label":"PER","start_pos":64,"end_pos":67}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 84 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 18 | 2 | 13 | 5 | 38 | true |
122 | null | Настоящий ceкс — это такой ceкс, после которого даже соседи выходят покурить. | https://t.me/smeh_76/228?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 418 | 0 | 1,672,675,339 | 1,732,740,608 | 4,577 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 12 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 3 | true |
122 | null | — Я тебя люблю!
— И скольким девушкам ты это уже сказал?
— Всем.
— Всем?!!
— Да, я всем говорю, что люблю тебя. | https://t.me/smeh_76/216?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 425 | 0 | 1,672,581,730 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| null | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 24 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 9 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 14 | true |
122 | null | Повесил навигатор в машину. С мужским голосом.
Теперь жене и теще есть с кем препираться. | https://t.me/smeh_76/217?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 414 | 0 | 1,672,585,331 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Магазин ковров:
— Мне в детскую, что нибудь не очень маркое...
— Сколько детей?
— Семеро.
— Лучше заасфальтируйте!! | https://t.me/smeh_76/218?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 441 | 0 | 1,672,588,932 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Семеро","lemma":"семеро","label":"PER","start_pos":82,"end_pos":88}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 11 | true |
122 | null | — Говорят, ты сказал про меня, что я [ч]удак... Это правда?!
— Конечно, правда! Но я этого не говорил... | https://t.me/smeh_76/219?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 416 | 0 | 1,672,596,133 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 19 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 11 | true |
122 | null | Журналисты спрашивают у фермера:
— Скажите, как у вас прошел год.
— Не поверите, замечательно. Урожай зерна хороший — без хлеба не останусь, картошка удалась — опять таки буду не голодный, а еще свинья опоросилась...
— Вы не хотели бы поблагодарить за это президента?
— Да с чего ж? Пахал сам, сеял сам, растил и собирал опять таки сам — в чем тут его заслуга.
— Как так? (жестко) А вы подумайте!
— А, ну ежли подумать, то насчет свиньи не отрицаю, тут всяко могло быть... | https://t.me/smeh_76/220?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 435 | 0 | 1,672,599,734 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 86 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 17 | 6 | 0 | 14 | 9 | 30 | true |
122 | null | Мама спрашивает у маленького сына:
— Валерочка, а кто съел все конфеты?
Сын:
— Домовой.
Голос из-за печки:
— Не [ман]ди! | https://t.me/smeh_76/221?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 403 | 0 | 1,672,639,334 | 1,732,740,609 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Домовой","lemma":"домовой","label":"PER","start_pos":79,"end_pos":86}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 21 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 11 | true |
122 | null | С Новым годом, дорогие подписчики!
Желаю вам счастья, добра, успехов во всех начинаниях, побольше смеха и юмора!
Читайте анекдоты и набирайтесь позитива на весь ближайший год.
С уважением, ваш дядя Миша! | https://t.me/smeh_76/210?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 442 | 0 | 1,672,520,700 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Миша","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":198,"end_pos":202}] | POSITIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 31 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 13 | 1 | 9 | true |
122 | null | Как выглядит среднестатистический комментарий под рецептом на кулинарном форуме: готовила все по рецепту, только вместо курицы взяла рыбу, вместо грибов положила бананы, а вместо пармезана — брынзу. Решила не тушить а отварить (ведь это полезнее), соль не добавляла, но добавила по своему вкусу корицу, ванильный сахар и зеленый лук. Получилась полная хрень — вообще не съедобно, даже кошка есть не стала. Говно ваш рецепт, автору минус. | https://t.me/smeh_76/211?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 437 | 0 | 1,672,552,927 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 66 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 11 | 2 | 0 | 20 | 1 | 17 | true |
122 | null | В Финляндии первый снег!
8:00 Я слeпил снeговика.
8:10 Мoя сосeдка-фeминистка спроcила, почeму я нe слeпил снeжную бaбу.
8:15 Тaк что я слeпил eще и снeжную бaбу.
8:17 Мoя сосeдка-фeминистка поcмотрела на зaманчивую грудь снeжной бaбы и стaла жaловаться, что снeжных бaб повсeместно
8:20 Супруги геи, живущие неподалеку, недовольно проворчали: лучше бы слепил двух снеговиков!
8:22 Сосед-трансгендер спросил, почему я не сделал просто "снежного человека" со съемными частями.
8:25 Вегетарианцы по соседству упрекнули за морковный нос, мол, овощи — это еда, а не украшение.
8:28 Чернокожий сосед назвал меня расистом, потому что снеговик и снежная баба — белые.
8:31 Мусульманин, который живет через дорогу, потребовал, чтобы снежная баба носила хиджаб.
8:40 Приехала полиция по вызову по поводу оскорбления чувств.
8:42 Соседка-феминистка попросила убрать от снежной бабы метлу, которая намекает на роль женщины-домохозяйки.
8:43 Президент объединения домовладельцев грозит мне выселением.
8:45 Приехали местные телевизионщики и спросили, знаю ли я разницу между снеговиками и снежными бабами. Ответив: "Снежные шары? ", немедленно получил клеймо: ceксист!
9:00 Меня показали в утренних новостях, назвав расистом, гомофобом, подозреваемым в оскорблении чувств террористом, склонным к разжиганию розни во время плохой погоды.
9:10 Меня допрашивают, требуют выдать соучастников. Детей забрала социальная служба. | https://t.me/smeh_76/212?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 496 | 0 | 1,672,560,128 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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| NEUTRAL | rus | SPAM | 194 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 22 | 34 | 12 | 15 | 70 | 8 | 47 | true |
122 | null | Включаешь канадское ТВ: главная страна в мире — Канада.
Включаешь американское ТВ: главная страна в мире — США.
Включаешь немецкое ТВ: главная страна в мире — Германия.
Включаешь российское ТВ: главная страна в мире — Украина. | https://t.me/smeh_76/213?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 456 | 0 | 1,672,563,729 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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122 | null | Зачем депутатам зарплата в 800 тысяч, если они утверждают, что можно запросто прожить на 7 тысяч рублей? | https://t.me/smeh_76/214?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 426 | 0 | 1,672,570,929 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"800","lemma":"800","label":"NUM","start_pos":27,"end_pos":30},{"ner":"7","lemma":"7","label":"NUM","start_pos":89,"end_pos":90}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 17 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 3 | true |
122 | null | Приходит жена домой, заходит в комнату, включает свет, а там, на диване, её муж с какой-то бабой кувыркается. Она: — Игорь!
— Ленка, ты?! А я кого тут трахаю?! | https://t.me/smeh_76/215?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 436 | 0 | 1,672,574,530 | 1,732,740,610 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Игорь","lemma":"игорь","label":"PER","start_pos":117,"end_pos":122}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 15 | true |
122 | null | По ТV, как всегда, показывают Пугачёву и Галкина... Мама говорит маленькому мальчику: "Вот смотри, если не перестанешь кривляться и всех передразнивать, тоже будешь жить с этой бабушкой, когда вырастешь". | https://t.me/smeh_76/203?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 464 | 0 | 1,672,484,522 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"ТV","lemma":"тv","label":"ORG","start_pos":3,"end_pos":5},{"ner":"Пугачёву","lemma":"пугачёву","label":"PER","start_pos":30,"end_pos":38},{"ner":"Галкина","lemma":"галкин","label":"PER","start_pos":41,"end_pos":48}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 29 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 10 | true |
122 | null | Лукашенко вызывает министра нефтегазовой промышленности и устраивает "разнос":
— Шо ж вы такое себе позволяете? Ввели пошлину на нефть, со мной не согласовали!
—??? Да нет, Александр Григорьевич, все было согласовано. Вот запрос, который мы вам посылали: "Русские увеличивают цену на газ, что делать?" Вот вы сами написали: "Пошлина"...
— Ну-ка, дай посмотреть... Идиот! Это не "пошлина", это "пошли на...!" | https://t.me/smeh_76/204?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 455 | 0 | 1,672,488,123 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"Лукашенко","lemma":"лукашенко","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":9},{"ner":"Александр Григорьевич","lemma":"александр григориевич","label":"PER","start_pos":173,"end_pos":194}] | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 60 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 13 | 11 | 0 | 12 | 0 | 35 | true |
122 | null | Трое новых русских обсуждают, какие замечательные у них дети.
(1) — Вот у меня сын — молодец, по моим стопам пошел — недвижимостью занимается, дела хорошо идут, и по жизни не мелочится — недавно другу квартиру в Париже подарил.
(2) — У меня тоже молодец — автосалон открыл, дорогими машинами торгует, дело процветает, сам живет на широкую ногу — другу Ferrari подарил недавно.
(3) — И у меня молодец — банк организовал, развернулся, понимаешь, недавно другу огромный кредит беспроцентный дал на 30 лет.
Тут залетает четвертый новый русский:
(4) — О чем говорите?
(1-2-3) — Да о детях.
(4) — А мой — гомик, блин! Hо у него квартира в Париже, Ferrari, а недавно кредит беспроцентный взял на 30 лет — и как это ему удается? | https://t.me/smeh_76/205?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 487 | 0 | 1,672,495,323 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 126 | 1 | 4 | 0.988304 | 0.011696 | 0 | 10 | 20 | 9 | 13 | 26 | 8 | 48 | true |
122 | null | В доисторической школе идёт урок.
Учительница: — Леночка, иди и напиши слово "охота". Выходит Леночка, берёт кусок угля и рисует на скале антилопу, пронзённую стрелой — Молодец, Леночка! Садись, пять.
Машенька, иди напиши слово "лес". Выходит Машенька и рисует на скале сосенки, дубочки. — Отлично, Машенька! Садись.
Вовочка, горе моё, иди и напиши слово "любовь".
Выходит Вовочка, берёт зубило, молоток и фигачит на пол-скалы огромный член. — Садись, Вовочка, четыре.
— Марь Ванна, почему четыре?
— Вовочка, ну, сколько раз тебе можно твердить, что "любовь" пишется с двумя яйцами? | https://t.me/smeh_76/206?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 477 | 0 | 1,672,498,924 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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122 | null | Садясь за руль в трезвом виде, ты залезаешь в карман ГИБДД! | https://t.me/smeh_76/207?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 666 | 0 | 1,672,502,525 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"ГИБДД","lemma":"гибдд","label":"ORG","start_pos":53,"end_pos":58}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 11 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 2 | true |
122 | null | Сегодня чуть не сбила машина. Перед глазами пронеслись все дела, которые не нужно будет доделывать. | https://t.me/smeh_76/208?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 441 | 0 | 1,672,509,725 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| null | NEGATIVE | rus | NOT SPAM | 15 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 3 | true |
122 | null | 31 декабря сделали выходным, потому что всё равно никто не работал.
Теперь всё равно никто не работает 30-го. | https://t.me/smeh_76/209?embed=1&mode=tme | https://t.me/ | https://t.me/s/smeh_76 | 446 | 0 | 1,672,513,326 | 1,732,740,611 | 4,577 | 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| [{"ner":"31 декабря","lemma":"31 декабря","label":"DATE","start_pos":0,"end_pos":10},{"ner":"30","lemma":"30","label":"NUM","start_pos":103,"end_pos":105}] | NEUTRAL | rus | NOT SPAM | 18 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 3 | true |