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post | ftbp1i | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,785,543 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbp1i/i_am_soooo_glad_im_not_circumcised/ | self.jokes | null | My corona is covered with foreskin so it is not exposed to viruses. | I am soooo glad I'm not circumcised! | 2 |
post | ftboup | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,785,522 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftboup/did_you_know_google_now_has_a_platform_for/ | self.jokes | null | It's called Google Sheets. | Did you know Google now has a platform for recording your bowel movements? | 9 |
post | ftbopj | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,785,508 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbopj/what_is_the_difference_between_my_wife_and_my/ | self.jokes | null | The vacuum doesn't snore after sex.
​
April fools, I don't have a wife. | What is the difference between my wife and my vacuum? | 15 |
post | ftbnxh | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,785,428 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbnxh/my_last_joke_for_now/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | My last joke for now. | 9 |
post | ftbjpg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,785,009 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbjpg/the_nintendo_64_turns_18_this_week/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... | 134 |
post | ftbjjw | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,995 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbjjw/sex_with_teacher/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Sex with teacher. | 1 |
post | ftbg6a | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,651 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbg6a/another_long_one/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Another long one. | 8 |
post | ftbeb4 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,461 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbeb4/what_did_the_french_man_say_to_the_attractive/ | self.jokes | null | Oo..lala... | What did the French man say to the attractive teletubby? | 2 |
post | ftbdej | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,367 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbdej/a_priest_takes_a_walk_down_to_the_docks_one_day/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day | 88 |
post | ftbc7z | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,246 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbc7z/a_long_joke/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A long joke. | 4 |
post | ftbahg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,784,081 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftbahg/yo_mama/ | self.jokes | null | Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous. | Yo Mama | 0 |
post | ftb9dn | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,965 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb9dn/why_did_the_pilot_turn_his_plane_into_pens/ | self.jokes | null | Because to refuel it needed to be stationery. | Why did the pilot turn his plane into pens, pencils and a ruler? | 2 |
post | ftb7sx | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,813 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb7sx/on_my_18th_birthday_my_friend_introduced_me_to/ | self.jokes | null | I was happy to meat her. | On my 18th birthday my friend introduced me to his fit sister. | 11 |
post | ftb6sw | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,714 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb6sw/which_animal_has_the_softest_bite/ | self.jokes | null | “Gummy” bears | Which animal has the softest bite? | 18 |
post | ftb6qn | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,708 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb6qn/a_fifteen_year_old_amish_boy_and_his_father_were/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall | 39 |
post | ftb6i1 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,685 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb6i1/whats_israelis_favourite_math_subject/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | What's Israelis' favourite math subject? | 0 |
post | ftb096 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,068 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb096/april_fool/ | self.jokes | null | Because nothing is funny any more, April Fools day has been cancelled. Henceforth, March will have 32 days and April will start on April 2nd. | April Fool..... | 0 |
post | ftb05x | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,060 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftb05x/a_little_old_lady/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A little old lady... | 0 |
post | ftazuy | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,783,032 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftazuy/want_to_know_which_user_is_gullible_click_here_to/ | self.jokes | null | You are. | Want to know which user is gullible? Click here to find out! | 0 |
post | ftaz9x | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,979 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaz9x/how_do_you_slow_down_a_greyhound/ | self.jokes | null | You feed it. | How do you slow down a Greyhound? | 1 |
post | ftaxdy | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,798 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaxdy/did_you_hear_about_chinas_new_policy/ | self.jokes | null | They changed it from one child, to one grandparent. | Did you hear about China's new policy? | 2 |
post | ftawab | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,698 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftawab/husband_i_cheated_on_you_once/ | self.jokes | null | Wife: well if we are coming clean I cheated on you too
Husband: haha April First!
Wife: it was May 17
E: grammar | Husband: I cheated on you once | 26 |
post | ftavv4 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,658 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftavv4/this_month_starts_with_ap/ | self.jokes | null | Not sure if it will end with ril or opcalypse | This month starts with Ap | 4 |
post | ftauvq | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,556 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftauvq/an_engineer_dies_and_goes_to_heaven/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | An engineer dies and goes to heaven... | 18 |
post | ftauqh | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,541 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftauqh/what_do_you_call_a_boat_full_of_dentists/ | self.jokes | null | A tooth ferry | What do you call a boat full of dentists? | 126 |
post | ftaup0 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,537 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaup0/japanese_scientist_have_created_a_camera/ | self.jokes | null | It has such an immense shutter speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut. | Japanese scientist have created a camera. | 3 |
post | ftasf7 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,300 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftasf7/a_redneck_needs_to_move_away_in_his_rv_but_he_has/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | a redneck needs to move away in his rv, but he has nowhere to put all the junk piled up around it. | 2 |
post | ftarpz | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,234 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftarpz/tee_pee_a_house_on_april_fools_2020/ | self.jokes | null | Wouldn’t today, April Fool’s Day, 2020, be the best time to TeePee someone’s house?
The neighborhood will clean it up in four minutes. | Tee Pee a House on, April Fool's, 2020 | 3 |
post | ftargx | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,208 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftargx/how_does_an_appalachian_mother_know_when_her/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | How does an Appalachian mother know when her daughter is having her period? | 0 |
post | ftar1y | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,169 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftar1y/my_dads_taking_this_social_distancing_very_serious/ | self.jokes | null | I haven't seen him in 23 years | My dad's taking this social distancing very serious | 1 |
post | ftaq6k | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,782,084 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaq6k/two_guys_are_caught_by_cannibals/ | self.jokes | null | They are sitting in the big pot as the cannibals are stoking the fire, adding water, potatoes, and other veggies. One of the men starts laughing.
“His friend says what is the matter with you we are about to be turned into stew and your laughing. “
“I just shit in the gravy!”
Then the cannibals grant them three wishes and it turns into a different joke. | Two guys are caught by cannibals | 4 |
post | ftap95 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,991 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftap95/in_the_streets_of_new_york/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | In the Streets of New York! | 1 |
post | ftaojn | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,924 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaojn/how_do_you_call_security_guards_at_a_samsung_store/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | How do you call security guards at a samsung store? | 1 |
post | ftane0 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,801 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftane0/a_penguin_takes_his_car_to_the_mechanic_the/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A penguin takes his car to the mechanic. The mechanic tells him, it looks like you blew a seal. | 4 |
post | ftaksc | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,549 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaksc/i_walk_into_a_bar_last_night/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | I walk into a bar last night... | 0 |
post | ftakrn | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,547 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftakrn/dont_fart_in_an_apple_store_because/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Don't fart in an Apple store because | 0 |
post | ftakis | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,523 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftakis/according_to_the_cdc_all_jokes_must_now_be_inside/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | According to the CDC, all jokes must now be inside jokes. | 1 |
post | ftaifr | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,327 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaifr/i_have_a_huge_dick/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | I have a huge dick | 0 |
post | ftagnp | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,160 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftagnp/how_do_you_wake_up_lady_gaga/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | How do you wake up Lady Gaga? | 4 |
post | ftafk8 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,781,055 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftafk8/now_would_be_a_really_great_time/ | self.jokes | null | ...for the WHO and the governments of the world to just say, “April Fools!” | Now would be a really great time... | 1 |
post | ftaeo5 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,970 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftaeo5/a_very_rich_man_was_infatuated_with_general_custer/ | self.jokes | null | So he hired the world’s most famous painter to paint him a piece for the rich man’s 50th birthday. The piece was to represent General Custer’s last thoughts. The painter said of course I will do this, but no one can see the painting until the reveal at your party. The rich man agreed knowing the prestige of the painter.
The day of the party comes, and the rich man gathered every one of his friends for the reveal. The painter asks if every one was ready, and the rich man happily screams, “Of course! I’ve been waiting for months!”
The curtain over the painting drops, and the entire painting is covered in Native Americans having sex. There is even multiple orgies happening!
The rich man runs to painter furious screaming, “I told you to paint General Custer’s last thoughts!” The painter, deadpan, responds, “I did exactly as you requested!” The rich man says, “What was your thinking in Custer’s last thoughts then?” The painter simply reply’s,
“Look at all those fucking Indians!” | A very rich man was infatuated with General Custer... | 2 |
post | ftadk2 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,869 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftadk2/whats_the_best_way_to_raise_a_child/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | What's the best way to raise a child? | 0 |
post | ftacju | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,773 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftacju/how_do_you_know_someone_is_feeling_horny/ | self.jokes | null | They click on this post | How do you know someone is feeling horny? | 2 |
post | ftacdg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,757 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftacdg/how_does_a_blind_man_know_when_hes_done_wiping/ | self.jokes | null | Taste test. | How does a blind man know when he's done wiping? | 5 |
post | ftabat | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,644 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ftabat/a_french_canadian_a_mexican_and_a_new_yorker_are/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A French Canadian, A Mexican and a New Yorker are exploring the uncharted areas of Africa when they get capture by a cannibal tribe. | 2 |
post | fta9mu | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,482 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta9mu/pretty_woman_sneezes/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Pretty woman sneezes | 7 |
post | fta8xw | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,414 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta8xw/i_asked_my_girlfriend_of_2_years_why_she_cried/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | I asked my girlfriend of 2 years why she cried while we had sex? | 0 |
post | fta8g7 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,367 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta8g7/chuck_norris_tested_positive_for_covid19/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Chuck Norris tested positive for Covid-19. | 4 |
post | fta81z | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,332 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta81z/cruise_ships_are_being_denied_ports_of_entry_due/ | self.jokes | null | Because there is not enough Docktors to help them | Cruise Ships are being denied ports of entry due to the virus | 0 |
post | fta77o | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,259 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta77o/two_nuns_are_driving_down_a_country_lane_late_one/ | self.jokes | null | Suddenly, a vampire lands on the bonnet of the car, hissing and scratching at the windscreen! “Ooh, Sister Mary - quickly, show him your cross”! says a panicking Sister Bernadette!
Sister Mary quickly winds the window and leans out, “Get off the fucking bonnet, you prick”! she shouts! | Two nuns are driving down a country lane late one night | 1 |
post | fta6op | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,209 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta6op/what_does_a_house_wear_for_prom_night/ | self.jokes | null | Address. | What does a house wear for prom night? | 6 |
post | fta4wi | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,044 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta4wi/how_do_you_make_a_waterbed_more_bouncy/ | self.jokes | null | Springwater | How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? | 6 |
post | fta4md | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,780,019 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta4md/think_about_it/ | self.jokes | null | The coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We're told no if we get too close to people. We get really excited for a car ride. | Think about it | 6 |
post | fta3uy | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,947 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta3uy/what_did_lochte_say_after_his_teammates_told_the/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened? | 1 |
post | fta3iu | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,916 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta3iu/im_gonna_start_calling_my_exs_cooch_the_corona/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | I'm gonna start calling my ex's cooch the Corona virus | 2 |
post | fta38q | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,888 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta38q/im_gay/ | self.jokes | null | My parents knew, but I had April fooled. | I'm gay. | 2 |
post | fta196 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,702 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fta196/my_friends_offered_me_to_go_out_to_dinner_with/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | My friends offered me to go out to dinner with them... | 0 |
post | ft9yt4 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,469 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9yt4/just_got_a_job_as_a_cuckoo_in_a_cuckoo_clock/ | self.jokes | null | It's not great, but it gets me out of the house. | Just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock... | 7 |
post | ft9ys4 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,466 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9ys4/why_did_sister_mary_leave_the_convent/ | self.jokes | null | She found out that Nun really meant none! | Why did Sister Mary leave the Convent? | 3 |
post | ft9yqy | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,462 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9yqy/fuck_cheesy_chatup_lines_we_need_better_breakup/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Fuck cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines: | 9 |
post | ft9x6c | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,310 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9x6c/whats_the_difference_between_an_indian_man_and_a/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | What's the difference between an Indian man and a black man.. | 2 |
post | ft9wmf | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,259 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9wmf/i_started_a_dating_site_for_people_in_my_state/ | self.jokes | null | OK Covid | I started a dating site for people in my state who are infected with coronavirus | 3 |
post | ft9wdi | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,236 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9wdi/i_hate_you_all/ | self.jokes | null | April fools :) | I hate you all | 1 |
post | ft9vid | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,159 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9vid/im_handing_out_a_hundred_dollar_bill_to_anyone/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | I'm handing out a hundred dollar bill to anyone who rebels against the new social distiancing rules.. | 0 |
post | ft9uxc | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,106 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9uxc/whats_xi_jinpings_favorite_sexual_position/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | What's Xi Jinping's favorite sexual position? | 0 |
post | ft9ufe | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,779,063 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9ufe/why_did_the_kids_guitar_teacher_go_to_jail/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | Why did the kid's guitar teacher go to jail? | 3 |
post | ft9t42 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,945 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9t42/what_do_sprinters_eat_before_a_race/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | What do sprinters eat before a race? | 0 |
post | ft9set | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,872 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9set/i_enjoy_a_breakfast_mimosa_from_time_to_time/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | I enjoy a breakfast mimosa from time to time. | 0 |
post | ft9rcg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,779 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9rcg/why_dont_we_just_resolve_this_shortage_of_ppe_for/ | self.jokes | null | I mean, only a stable genius would think of that | Why don’t we just resolve this shortage of PPE for healthcare professionals by ordering more from Walmart? | 0 |
post | ft9qgr | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,696 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9qgr/the_weirdest_thing_about_the_coronavirus_is/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | The weirdest thing about the Coronavirus is.... | 10 |
post | ft9ps3 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,632 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9ps3/how_does_popeye_stop_his_penis_going_rusty/ | self.jokes | null | How does Popeye stop his penis going rusty?
He sticks it in Olive Oyl. | How does Popeye stop his penis going rusty? | 15 |
post | ft9m78 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,304 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9m78/i_like_my_women_like_i_like_my_microwave/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | I like my women like I like my microwave | 13 |
post | ft9m4y | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,299 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9m4y/who_hangs_around_outside_in_groups/ | self.jokes | null | Nobody. Not you. Not them over there. Nobody. Stay the fuck at Home! | Who hangs around outside in groups? | 0 |
post | ft9jud | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,778,090 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9jud/what_do_you_call_a_young_mexican/ | self.jokes | null | A paragraph, because they're not a full ese | What do you call a young Mexican? | 4 |
post | ft9g9y | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,778 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9g9y/dad_i_dont_want_to_go_visit_grandma/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | "Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma" | 75 |
post | ft9fzm | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,751 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9fzm/once_i_spilt_the_beans/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | Once I spilt the beans | 3 |
post | ft9e93 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,585 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9e93/you_think_im_cringe/ | self.jokes | null | Italian moms wait 9 months just to name their kid Giuseppe | You think I’m cringe | 0 |
post | ft9dya | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,558 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9dya/three_men_desired_to_know_their_future_thus_they/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | Three men desired to know their future. Thus, they journeyed far and wide to find an Oracle. | 1 |
post | ft9ceg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,413 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft9ceg/i_bought_a_roll_of_arab_toilet_paper_the_other/ | self.jokes | null | ...but there was nothing in the bag?! | I bought a roll of arab toilet paper the other day because everything else was out... | 0 |
post | ft99l9 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,777,153 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft99l9/a_young_artist_exhibits_his_work_for_the_first/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | A young artist exhibits his work for the first time... | 20 |
post | ft95aw | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,757 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft95aw/the_bartender_asks_why_the_nonlinear_structure/ | self.jokes | null | Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar. | The bartender asks “Why the non-linear structure?” | 3 |
post | ft94yo | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,729 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft94yo/girls_are_like_blackjack/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Girls are like blackjack | 1 |
post | ft944d | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,645 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft944d/three_men_are_standing_at_the_pearly_gates/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Three men are standing at the pearly gates... | 1 |
post | ft92s9 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,517 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft92s9/lpt_the_only_jokes_you_should_be_telling_today/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | LPT: The only jokes you should be telling today are inside jokes | 1 |
post | ft8xlz | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,060 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8xlz/i_have_a_great_knock_knock_joke_you_start/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | I have a great knock knock joke. You start. | 1 |
post | ft8x1q | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,776,012 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8x1q/life_is_like_a_box_of_chocolates/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Life is like a box of chocolates | 3 |
post | ft8v27 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,826 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8v27/whats_the_difference_between_meat_and_fish/ | self.jokes | null | If you beat your fish, it dies! | What's the difference between meat and fish? | 22 |
post | ft8v1m | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,825 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8v1m/doctor_vist/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Doctor Vist | 0 |
post | ft8rji | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,514 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8rji/tifu_by_mixing_up_by_wifes_sandwich_order_at/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway | 1 |
post | ft8p77 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,295 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8p77/why_cant_chris_browns_wife_tell_any_abuse_jokes/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | Why can’t Chris Brown’s wife tell any abuse jokes? | 2 |
post | ft8opg | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,247 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8opg/a_preschool_teacher_went_swimming_with_her_class/ | self.jokes | null | [deleted] | A preschool teacher went swimming with her class. | 2 |
post | ft8onr | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,243 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8onr/we_all_heard_the_joke_about_why_cant_orphans_play/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | We all heard the joke about why can't orphans play baseball, but why can't chinese people play baseball? | 2 |
post | ft8o7e | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,205 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8o7e/what_do_you_call_a_furry_that_got_laid_off_and/ | self.jokes | null | A furloughed fur load. | What do you call a furry that got laid off and laid at the same time. | 4 |
post | ft8nws | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,180 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8nws/three_guys_are_captured_by_a_tribe_of_cannibals/ | self.jokes | null | The cannibals agree to allow each of their prisoners one final request before they eat them.
The first guy requests to sleep with the most beautiful woman of the tribe. After much convening and deliberation, the cannibals allow the man to sleep with their most beautiful woman. As soon as he wakes up the next morning, he is carted off, skinned, eaten, and his hide made into a drum.
The second guy, seeing how beautiful the woman his friend got to sleep with was, requests the same thing. Again, when he wakes up the next morning, the cannibals cart him off, skin him, eat him, and turn his skin into a drum.
The third guy, after seeing the irresistible beauty of the tribe's most attractive woman, requests to see the knife used to skin his friends.
"That's your request?" asks one of the tribal elders, "I guess if that's all you want from us before we eat you, that's fine"
The elder goes to the cooking tent and retrieves the skinning knife. He hesitates for a moment before handing it to the prisoner. As soon as the knife is in his hand, the third guy starts stabbing himself in the stomach and yells, "you assholes aren't gonna turn me into a drum!" | Three guys are captured by a tribe of cannibals | 5 |
post | ft8m17 | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,017 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8m17/who_led_the_jews_across_a_semipermeable_membrane/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Who led the Jews across a semi-permeable membrane? | 9 |
post | ft8lvd | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,775,003 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8lvd/why_do_you_call_your_dog_iknowwhatyoudid/ | self.jokes | null | I love how many people jump 3 feet high when I start calling him. | Why do you call your dog ”I-know-what-you-did”? | 14 |
post | ft8lrk | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,774,992 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8lrk/must_be_read_with_a_us_southern_accent/ | self.jokes | null | A southern belle was back from her trip to New York City and was telling all of her friends about it.
"Well I do declare, dey do things differently in the North! When I was there I saw boys kissin boys on da LIPS!" She says
"Oh my oh my!" Her friends fan themselves, "what do dey call those?" One asks
"Dey call em Homo-sex-uuuaaasls"
"Oh my oh my!"
"And I saw girls kissing girls on da LIPS!" she says
"Oh my oh my!" Her friends fan themselves, "what do dey call those?" One asks
"Dey call em Lez-b-aaaans"
"Oh my oh my!"
"And I even saw boys dat kissed girls in b'tween da LEGS!"
"Oh my oh my!" Her friends fan themselves even more, "what do dey call those?" One asks
"Oh I don't know, but I called em precious!" | Must be read with a u.s. southern accent | 0 |
post | ft8lcb | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,774,956 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8lcb/politicians_and_leaders_at_the_cdc_asked_to_wear/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | Politicians and leaders at the CDC asked to wear masks over their buttholes. | 0 |
post | ft8jyz | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,774,840 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8jyz/a_blonde_ordered_a_pizza_and_the_clerk_asked_if/ | self.jokes | null | "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." | A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. | 24 |
post | ft8jwf | 2qh72 | jokes | false | 1,585,774,835 | https://old.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ft8jwf/whats_green_and_smells_like_pork/ | self.jokes | null | [removed] | What`s green and smells like pork? | 0 |