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alpindale

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light-novels

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“But, Master…”

“And one belated correction. Even if I couldn’t ever become friends with Aikawa, some small part of me wishes I could. I realized that just now. So your name for me is horribly on point… It’s definitely, definitively appropriate for a vague, half-assed person like myself, in all its ironic glory. And that being the case─” I glanced down at Hime-chan for a brief moment, but couldn’t see her expression. “Don’t you think it’s a little funny for a disciple to be ignoring her master’s wishes?”

Hime-chan─Ichihime Yukariki─nodded, and the moment she’d come to this decision, she took off running.

“Wait!”

During the instant when this surprise was registering on Shiogi’s face, I charged. Strike first and you need only strike once─it was nothing so strategically minded. I was just trying to buy enough time for Hime-chan to get away. However much of a “tactician” Shiogi Hagihara might be─she would still have no choice but to react to impending danger. It’s an uncontrollable innate reflex of the human animal. To get around it, you’d have to possess motor functions quicker than your reflexes, like Mr. No Longer Human─but unfortunately, Shiogi was, physically, a normal human girl.

“─hk!”

She avoided my attack by a hair’s breadth, and in so doing retreated three steps, putting some extra distance between us. We now stood at what they call “the nine-step gap” in kendo. Plenty close enough for hostility, but a little far to actually fight each other.

Shiogi watched reluctantly as Hime-chan faded into the surrounding darkness, then let out a sigh. “I really don’t understand it… How do you keep throwing off my calculations? I can’t anticipate your actions at all. You’re like a living quantum uncertainty principle. It’s almost as if you have no objective of your own, and you’re just tormenting me for fun.”

Objective? Oh yeah…hadn’t Tamamo asked me about that as well? Though now I could give a very definite answer to that question.

“My objective is to help Hime-chan get the hell out of this place. Or let me gussy that up a little: think of it as an early graduation ceremony.”

“That attitude suits you much better. Than tossing around your usual frivolous nonsense.”

Shiogi seemed positively smug, despite the fact that she’d let Hime-chan (her “objective”) slip through her fingers. Despite the fact that her strategy had been twisted into scrap. This was a somewhat different Shiogi than the one I’d encountered five hours earlier.

“I suppose I should expect no less from Overkill Red’s partner.”

“Partner? Whoa there. I’m just a decoy who got roped into this by circumstances beyond my control. I wonder if she could ever even have a partner… That would require someone to be her equal, and who could ever be the equal of the world’s strongest?”

“The equal of the world’s strongest is the world’s weakest. And decoy? Come on, did they just finalize the Nonsense Reversion Treaty or something? No one’s going to believe that someone with the rare talent to infiltrate Hang ’Em High so easily and make contact with Ichihime Yukariki─that someone like you, who was able to create an opening in the impregnable defenses of Hang ’Em High for the Red Dread to slip in, is a mere decoy.”

“…”

Is that why─Aikawa used me for this job? Was her plan always to get herself inside, to send me in as the advance guard? That would add up. But that’s all it would do.

“You’re giving me too much credit. I toldja, didn’t I? It was all just dumb luck.”

“That would certainly give me peace of mind, but…since you don’t seem to have realized it on your own, let me explain it to you as a parting gift on your journey to hell.”

“A parting gift on my journey to hell? Nice turn of phrase, I like that. Personally, I love hell.”

“…That talent of yours is extremely dangerous. The world around you just goes crazy without you ever having to lift a finger… Or maybe I should I call it ‘whatever will be, will be bad’─nature taking its worst possible course? Ringing any bells? Abnormal situations always breaking out around you, bizarre characters always gravitating to you?”

“Rings a bell, yeah.”

In fact, it rings the whole carillon. I’d take that to heart, if I thought I had one of those.

“You’re an accident-prone superior deviant magnet, to stick to everyday language. Or to put it more simply, a troublemaker… In this case, the fact that you have no objective and no intentionality is a huge nuisance.”

For a tactician like myself, she continued.

“Which is why for the sake of brevity, we refer to annoyingly irreducible equations like you as ‘non-actors.’”

A non-factoring system, a formula for non-entity─an absolute equation whose very existence is more of an infraction than any null set or a conscious one like Hitoshiki.

“Totally. You and I may be similar, but insofar as you’ve been given an objective, and I refuse to accept even the objective I’ve been given, turns out we’re completely different after all. If you’re a tactician─I guess I’d have to be a charlatan.”

“Is that so?” Shiogi closed her eyes and nodded. “Well then, we cancel each other out. Violently.”

The prefatory remarks were concluded, and Shiogi slid forward one step, then another. I waited for her without taking any stance. She seemed a little wary of this, but that didn’t stop her from continuing her advance until she’d closed the distance to what they call “the one-step-one-sword gap” in kendo, and then─

“Time out.”

I called time out.

At which Shiogi’s shoulders slumped.

“Y-You─”

“Don’t misunderstand me. I never said I wanted to be your enemy.”

“What, do you mean?” asked Shiogi, cautiously retreating from me once more. “What other option is there under the circumstances?”

“Betrayal,” I responded shamelessly, not displaying an ounce of fear or trepidation, acting just as she’d done when she announced to Aikawa that she was going to run away.

“Be…trayal?”

“Yup. Upon consideration, it wouldn’t make for much of a match between us, you being a second dan in kendo and all. Doesn’t seem like I’d be able to get away if I ran, either…which just leaves ‘betrayal,’ right?”

Silver tongue─golden voice.

“When you say ‘betrayal’…what exactly are you proposing?”

“I’ll tell you where Hime-chan just ran off to, the same place where Jun Aikawa is hiding.”

“Immorality, huh? Even if I don’t enter into that bargain,” Shiogi looked me over with that appraising look of hers, “I can just break a bone or two and force you to tell me anyway.”

“That’s not gonna work, Shiogi. Not even the itty-bittiest chance. Because I swear to you right now that if you do that to me I’m just going to lie. And I’ll tell you upfront, I’m one hell of a liar.”

“I’m pretty confident I can make you tell the truth.”

“But there’s still that flicker of doubt, isn’t there. To put it your way, I’m Jun Aikawa’s equal, right? Not to mention, my ‘betrayal’ here means a lot more than just acquiring some info. As a tactician, I’m sure you understand. Funnily enough, it’s something you said yourself… ‘Overkill Red is soft on her friends.’ It’s true, Aikawa didn’t go after you earlier, did she? And being soft on your friends means being weak against your friends─or am I wrong?”

“Suppose I injured you,” Shiogi said as if she were just confirming something, “Jun Aikawa would vent her rage on me. If you’d ‘betrayed’ her, however─”

Trust is sad. Which is precisely why betrayal is painful.

“It would create an opening a tactician like yourself could exploit.”

“And…what do you get out of this bargain other than ‘avoiding immediate injury’?”

“Honestly I don’t give a shit. I mean, up until a minute ago I really did intend to take you on so that Hime-chan could get away─as a special treat to myself. But upon reflection, it’s not like I really have anything against you. I mean, an inhuman person who doesn’t think of people as people─now that’s my type.”

“…!”

Shiogi seemed startled at my words, and took a step back. This was a little unexpected, since I’d been sure she’d have a logical counterargument, but not being one to miss an opening just because I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, I pressed on.

“I may be a non-important non-actor, but you’re not so different yourself, you’re not acting for your own sake either. Neither of us chooses our own objectives. There are differences, sure, but there are also similarities. We’re birds of a feather. Listen, Shiogi. I love virtuous, unselfish, noble types─and I have no desire to be enemies with someone who’s caught my fancy… In fact, I’d like to be on the best terms possible.”

“Are you saying,” Shiogi paused for the span of one breath in uncharacteristic bewilderment, before continuing, “that you’ve conceived a personal love for me, Shiogi Hagihara?”

“…”

Not quite, which is to say not at all…but whatever. It was probably just her strategic style as a tactician anyway. In which case I might as well take my own style and run with it. No, not just run with it. Run her through with it.

“You’re free to interpret that however you want. And naturally, this ‘betrayal’…or what did you call it, ‘bargain’? Doesn’t matter. Either way, this is a battle between tactician and charlatan, a continuation of a showdown where we’re not putting anything in writing. For all you know this is all just part of my charlatanry. If you’re not confident you can beat that with your ‘tactics’─then you don’t have to go along with it. Go ahead and break an arm, a leg, whatever you like. I won’t put up a fight.”

“…”

For a while, Shiogi pretended to agonize over it─this time her performance was totally transparent, which was uncharacteristic indeed. Then for another while, she stared at me long and hard. Finally she said, “Okay─if you think you can deceive me, Mr. Charlatan, go ahead and deceive me to your heart’s content,” and proffered her left hand.

“You don’t have to tell me twice. Deceiving and being deceived are both specialties of mine. Especially with girls who’re my type.” I put out my right hand.

“…” “Heehee.”

Shiogi Hagihara laughed, almost the way a high school girl her age might laugh.

(2) chapter number given is likely out of range: 0

Chapter: 25

Suspension 1

(2) chapter number given is likely out of range: 0

Chapter: 26

Suspension 1

0

The liar is the end of humanity.

1

And so it transpired that I betrayed Aikawa and Hime-chan─but what was actually going on? I mean, obviously, for my part, it was a stratagem to get myself out of that situation without the need for violence, but “now”─by which I mean now that I was traipsing through a totally unfamiliar school building with Shiogi, nominally guiding her to Aikawa’s hiding place─things had reached a truly half-cocked state.

By which I mean that at the present moment, I could go either way. I could continue leading Shiogi on a wild goose chase, or I could lead her to the Director’s office, where Hime-chan was heading, and where abideth Aikawa. If I wanted to betray them, I could betray them, and if I wanted to stand by them, I could stand by them. I was faced with the ultimate binary choice.

Though that said─

“Will it turn out the same, no matter which I choose?”

“Did you say something?”

“No, I didn’t say anything.”

“More importantly, are you sure they’re in this building? It seemed like Yukariki ran off in a completely different direction.”

“That was a ruse. Hime-chan knew I was about to screw her over.”

“Hmm…I see.”

The fact that I was waffling so much even though it was all too clear what lay ahead─had to do with Shiogi. I’d succeeded at rounding off her sharper edges and inveigling her to join me, but since then her attitude had been oddly formal. We were strangers, so maybe that was only natural, but nevertheless, something about it felt unnatural.

Then there was the question of Tamamo. Tamamo, killed so ruthlessly then used as a tool. And at present I was walking along beside the person who had so used her. It wasn’t like I’d been about to fall for Tamamo or anything, but still.

And the murder of the Director─could I assume Shiogi was indeed the culprit? At the moment, at least, I had my doubts. Noa Origami who, like Tamamo─no, far more horribly than Tamamo, had been dismembered, her head suspended from the ceiling. If that had been the tactician’s mutiny, then was Shiogi Hagihara, walking here beside me, playing me for a fool? Did she, as a tactician, in fact know everything only to keep silent about it?

I just couldn’t be sure.

Phew. I was tired of thinking. It was too much of a pain in the ass, maybe I should actually go ahead and become a traitor? Shiogi and I seemed on track to becoming friends, and battling Aikawa seemed like it could be interesting. Ally or enemy, with Aikawa it seemed more or less the same either way. And Shiogi’s hair was really pretty. I wonder if she’d be mad if I touched it.

“What are you staring at? It’s impolite.”

Shiogi had stopped walking and was looking back at me dubiously. She seemed to have picked up on my bloodlust (if that’s what it was). I didn’t want to ruin her impression of me at this point. Beginnings are the crux of any relationship.

“Nothing, sorry. Nothing at all.”

“Really?”

“Really. That is, Shiogi…”

I almost said, Your hair is really pretty, but stopped myself just in time. This was Shiogi we were talking about, she probably got that kind of compliment so often that she was sick to death of hearing it by now. In which case there was a good chance she would ignore me, plus there was the danger that she’d decide I was a total waste of space. In which case I needed to come at it from a different angle.

“Yes?”

“Your breasts are really big.”

All of a sudden Shiogi was flat on her back with her legs up in the air, like in a cartoon.

It was the first time I’d ever seen someone do that in real life.