| Congressman Interrupts General’s Testimony To Just Reiterate He Loves War | |
| Israel Military Reports It Was You, The Reader, Who Blew Up Hospital | |
| ‘The Onion’ Calls On Israel To Bomb Our Offices In Case Any Hamas Agents Hiding Out There | |
| Encouraging Study Finds There Still A Bunch Of Kids Who Haven’t Been Shot Yet | |
| White House Tour Group Shrinks Down To Molecular Size For Journey Into President | |
| Biden Chokes Up While Describing Hardworking Americans Who Can Only Afford Shitty Ditch Weed | |
| Man Impressed By How Bad He Smells | |
| Humane Meat Company Hires Assassins To Quietly Slaughter Cows In Their Sleep | |
| MIT Researchers Create ‘Psychopath’ AI By Feeding It Reddit Data |