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"Pass me the barf bag," Rage groans, but we ignore him. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.44435 | 7.1 |
We spend a pleasant hour talking with Jakob, the world growing lighter around us, then get ready to depart. Before we set off, we have an unexpected visitor. Shy Declan comes creeping forward. He's holding something behind his back. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.445203 | 7.1 |
"Hi, little guy," I mutter, smiling awkwardly when he stops in front of me. I look for his mother and spot her lurking in the shadows of a house across the square. I wave to her, but she draws farther back into the shade. I figure she's too ashamed to face us in person, even though I don't think that she should be. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.446055 | 7.1 |
Declan produces his surprise. It's my Australian hat. I cast it aside before we went into battle yesterday. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.446908 | 7.1 |
"How did you find that?" I yelp with delight. I start to reach for it, then remember that I have to be careful. "Can you place it on the ground, please?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.447761 | 7.1 |
Declan does as I ask, then takes a step back, giving me room to safely pick up the hat. I settle it on my head and grin at the others. "How do I look?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.448614 | 7.1 |
"Like the world's dumbest explorer," Rage huffs. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.449467 | 7.1 |
"Bite me," I laugh. "I love this hat. I've had it since before I came to County Hall. Thank you, Declan. This means a lot to me." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.45032 | 7.1 |
Declan nods, beaming, and turns to rejoin his mother. Then he looks back at us. His eyes are solemn as he gulps and says in a soft, creaky voice, "Thanks." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.451173 | 7.1 |
As I stare at him with a lump in my throat, he smiles quickly, then races over to where Emma is waiting. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.452026 | 7.1 |
"A cute kid," Pearse says. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.452878 | 7.1 |
"Yeah," I whisper. Then, scowling at myself for being a sap, I slip back into my normal mode and shout at the sleeping creep behind us. "Hey! Child Catcher! Wakey-wakey!" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.453731 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan rolls towards us and opens an eye. "Morning already? Time slips by so fast." He stands, stretches, then undoes his fly and pees in open view of us all. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.454584 | 7.1 |
"Gross!" Carl gags. "That's not something I need to see this early in the day," he mutters. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.455437 | 7.1 |
"You are disgusting," Ashtat snarls, turning her back on him. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.45629 | 7.1 |
"Ah," Rage says nostalgically. "That brings back happy memories. I miss my first whizz of the day." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.457143 | 7.1 |
"What?" Dan-Dan smirks as he tucks himself away. "It's not like anyone who matters is present. I don't care what I do in front of a pack of walking corpses." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.457996 | 7.1 |
"Come on," Pearse says. "We've a long way to go, a lot of ground to cover. Let's not waste any more time. Unless you plan to follow that up with a poo?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.458849 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan blinks. "Hardly. Some acts are never to be shared, even with the undead." Then he catches sight of someone passing and shouts out, "Mayor Barry! A moment of your time, please." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.459701 | 7.1 |
Biddy Barry stops and waits for Dan-Dan to waddle over to her. "What do you want, worm?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.460554 | 7.1 |
"We found ourselves in a heated situation yesterday," Dan-Dan simpers. "Harsh words were exchanged. I wanted to have a quick discussion now that everyone has calmed down." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.461407 | 7.1 |
"I'm not in a discussing mood," Biddy rumbles. "If you've something to say, spit it out quick." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.46226 | 7.1 |
"Very well," Dan-Dan says cheerfully. "You know who I am." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.463113 | 7.1 |
"An incredibly powerful, influential child-killing creep," Dan-Dan corrects her with a smug chuckle. "I've no heartfelt interest in the Ku Klux Klan. I was using them because they could deliver the children I required. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that you've hanged so many of them. In fact, I admire the no-nonsense way you people went about your work." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.464819 | 7.1 |
"Thanks," Biddy says with mock sweetness. "That means so much to me." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.465672 | 7.1 |
"What I'm trying to say," Dan-Dan murmurs, "is we don't have to be enemies. We could do business together." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.466525 | 7.1 |
"What sort of business?" Biddy frowns. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.467377 | 7.1 |
"For a start, I could return your people, the ones who were taken." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.46823 | 7.1 |
"They'll be sent back to us anyway when the Angels deliver you to your allies," Biddy notes. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.469083 | 7.1 |
"Maybe, maybe not," Dan-Dan replies. "Owl Man said he would try to arrange for their release, but he was in no position to make such a guarantee. I, on the other hand, _am_ in that position. If you agree to a deal with me, I'll have them sent back in perfect health, along with any supplies that you might be in the market for." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.469936 | 7.1 |
Biddy's eyes narrow. "That's a generous offer, Lord Wood. What would we have to do for you in return?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.470789 | 7.1 |
"Grant me safe passage home," Dan-Dan says, then nods at us. "And serve me up their heads on several nicely sharpened sticks. That's all I ask. Everything else will be forgotten and forgiven." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.471642 | 7.1 |
Biddy chews her lower lip, thinking it over. Then she looks past Dan-Dan. "Deputy Pegg? What's your take on this?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.472495 | 7.1 |
"I think we should ram his offer up his arse," Jakob roars. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.473348 | 7.1 |
"Your position has been duly noted." Biddy faces Dan-Dan again. "Get stuffed, scumbag," she says, and walks away briskly. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.4742 | 7.1 |
"Now there's a woman with style," Dan-Dan chortles, not in the least offended. "I knew it was a long shot, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Shall we head off then, my little undead retinue, or is there time for brekkie before we set sail?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.475053 | 7.1 |
"Eat this, fat boy," I growl, giving him the finger. Then we bid Jakob a final farewell, wish him luck, crawl down into a tunnel that has been sanctioned for our use, and set off on the long trek home. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.475906 | 7.1 |
We pick up the pace heading back to London, mindful of the deadline. We should have plenty of time to return to County Hall, then head over to wherever Owl Man is and swap the child-killer for the prisoners, but there's always a risk we might get delayed along the way. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.477612 | 7.1 |
I expect the chubby lord to struggle to keep up with us, but to my surprise he's very sprightly, marching along, whistling softly and trying to make small talk. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.478465 | 7.1 |
"Keep it quiet, fatso," I growl at him at one point. "You'll draw zombies down on us." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.479318 | 7.1 |
"I trust you to defend me if that happens," Dan-Dan smiles, then carries on whistling the same as before. He clearly thinks he has a charmed life. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.480171 | 7.1 |
The sickening thing is that the creep _does_ seem to have been blessed with good luck. We're targeted by a trickle of zombies over the course of the day, but we never come under serious threat. They're always in small groups and easy to deal with. Dan-Dan even whips out his smartphone a few times to take pictures. He might not be able to get a signal these days, but the camera still functions. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.481023 | 7.1 |
"Smile for me, B," he sings as I wrestle with a zombie twice my size. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.481876 | 7.1 |
I almost set the zombie loose and sic it on the would-be sailor. Then I think of Vinyl and the other humans and hold tight. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.482729 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan spends a lot of the time slyly trying to bribe us. He offers us riches and privileges, luxury villas on zombie-free islands, all the fresh brains we could ask for. We ignore him, except for Rage, who pretends to be interested. At least I hope he's just pretending! | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.483582 | 7.1 |
We hit the suburbs of London late in the evening. If we were by ourselves, we'd push on, but the zombies will be emerging in their multitudes soon. Suburbia is dangerous for one of the living at the best of times–the attacks have picked up sharply over the last hour–and it would be suicide to parade around with Dan-Dan once the sun has set. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.484435 | 7.1 |
Pearse and Conall scout out a few houses until they find one that's free of zombies and relatively easy to defend. It also offers an escape option via the roof, though if we have to flee with Dan-Dan in the dark, when the streets are awash with zombies, escape will probably only offer him a temporary respite. Even lucky buggers like him have their limits. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.485288 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan knows this is serious. He quits whistling, settles down in a room with no windows and munches quietly on an energy bar—he has a stash of them stored in various pockets. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.486141 | 7.1 |
"Not so lively now, are you?" I murmur wickedly as he eats. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.486994 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan shrugs. "I'm not a fool," he whispers. "I know when to turn the volume down." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.487846 | 7.1 |
Once the house has been secured, Rage sniffs and says, "I'm off." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.488699 | 7.1 |
"Where are you going?" Shane asks. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.489552 | 7.1 |
"To see a man about a horse," Rage deadpans. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.490405 | 7.1 |
"This doesn't have anything to do with Dan-Dan's offers, does it?" I growl, worried that Rage might be heading out to bring back help for the child-killer. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.491258 | 7.1 |
"Give me _some_ credit," Rage snaps. "I'm a cynical sod, and proud of it, but I'm not _that_ cynical. Cut a deal with the murderous likes of Daniel Wood? Hardly." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.492111 | 7.1 |
"So where are you going?" I press. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.492964 | 7.1 |
"There's something I'm curious about. A little mystery I want to solve. I would have dealt with it before this if we hadn't been sent off on a mission. Now that I've got some free time on my hands, this seems as good an opportunity as any." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.493817 | 7.1 |
"But we are still _on_ the mission," Ashtat notes. "We will need you if zombies attack." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.49467 | 7.1 |
"Nah," Rage laughs. "I won't make much of a difference if that happens. Besides, I'm kind of hoping they _do_ attack. You should all sneak off if they do, leave Dan-Dan on his own, see how smug he is then." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.495522 | 7.1 |
"I really think you should stay," Carl says stiffly. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.496375 | 7.1 |
"Tough," Rage sniffs. "Don't worry, I'll be back before you leave in the morning, ready to pitch in and help when needed. If you want to rat me out to Dr. Oystein when we get home, feel free." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.497228 | 7.1 |
And with that he's off. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.498081 | 7.1 |
The rest of us stare at one another, troubled, but since there's nothing we can do about it, we close the door after him and return to the room where Dan-Dan has holed up, to serve as his reluctant guards for the night. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.498934 | 7.1 |
Dan-Dan spends the next few hours dangling more bribes in front of us. I don't think he expects us to accept, and we could tell him to shut up, but we're amused by what he comes up with and the way he tries to sell himself. Dan-Dan is smooth as silk. I have to keep reminding myself that he's a vile piece of filth in order to stop myself from starting to like the guy. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.499787 | 7.1 |
Finally, shortly after ten, Dan-Dan yawns and calls it a night. "Think about what we've been discussing," he purrs. "If you change your minds, let me know in the morning and we can thrash out a deal." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.50064 | 7.1 |
"Don't you want us to wake you with the news?" I smile. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.501493 | 7.1 |
"Heavens, no," Dan-Dan says. "A good night's sleep is sacrosanct. I've had people shot for disturbing my slumber." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.502345 | 7.1 |
He settles down and is snoring lightly moments later. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.503198 | 7.1 |
"I hate him," Ashtat says softly, "but I can see why he got away with his crimes for so long. As well as being rich, he could charm even the gruffest of people." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.504051 | 7.1 |
"Yeah," I nod. "I bet he's sweet-talked his way out of all sorts of jams in his time." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.504904 | 7.1 |
"The islands sound nice," Shane reflects. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.505757 | 7.1 |
"You're not seriously considering his offers?" I hiss. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.50661 | 7.1 |
"Of course not," he growls. "I'm just saying I like the sound of the islands. Maybe we could check them out ourselves when this is over." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.507463 | 7.1 |
"Yeah," Carl says. "There'll be all the time in the world for sightseeing once we're done with Mr. Dowling. I'd love to visit the Seychelles again. It's been too long." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.508316 | 7.1 |
"Good luck getting a suntan now!" Shane says, and we all laugh, but quietly, so as not to alert any passing monsters outside. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.509168 | 7.1 |
Rage returns about an hour before dawn. He's got a face like a slapped arse and his hands are trembling. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.510021 | 7.1 |
"What's up?" I ask as he lets himself into the room and slumps in a corner, looking like a gambler who lost everything at the races. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.510874 | 7.1 |
"Shut it," he says. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.511727 | 7.1 |
"Did you try to woo a zombie?" I simper. "Did she turn you down?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.51258 | 7.1 |
Rage stares at me as if he's thinking of killing me. I don't wilt. I know from experience that you can never show fear in front of a bully. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.513433 | 7.1 |
"What's wrong?" Shane asks quietly, concerned about his friend. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.514286 | 7.1 |
"Nothing," Rage snaps. Then he forces a weak smile. "I just found out tonight that I was right never to believe in the goodness of man. We're all a bunch of skunks when you strip away the trimmings, every stinking last one of us. I've always known the world was peppered with bastards like Dan-Dan, but I thought they were balanced out by decent, well-meaning people. I was a fool. We're all as worthless as that snoring killer, every single one of us." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.515139 | 7.1 |
"You're in a cheerful mood," Carl snorts. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.515991 | 7.1 |
"Yeah, well," Rage drawls, leaning back against the wall to stare at the ceiling. And he doesn't say anything else after that. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.516844 | 7.1 |
We rise an hour later, as the sun is starting to come up. Dan-Dan slips off to the bathroom to do his business–"Time for a number two," he cheerfully informs us–and comes out with his nose pinched shut. "Quick," he croaks. "Let's get the hell out of here. If that stench doesn't attract the undead hordes, I don't know what will." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.517697 | 7.1 |
We head off in high spirits, except for the glowering Rage, as if the slaughter we'd witnessed in New Kirkham was months ago instead of just hours behind us. It's nice to be closing in on home. We haven't been away very long, but it feels like weeks. I'm looking forward to catching up with the others, resting in my own bed, tucking into Ciara's cranial stew. Of course there's still Vinyl and his fellow captives to worry about, but I put thoughts of them to one side for the time being and focus on all the joys of County Hall. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.51855 | 7.1 |
Attacks come more regularly than yesterday and we're kept busy saving Dan-Dan's rotten neck. He's not as chirpy today. Marching through the middle of London is a different proposition from tramping through the countryside. Zombies can attack at any moment, from the shadows of any building. We're on constant alert, no room for error. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.519403 | 7.1 |
Despite the frequency of the assaults, our luck holds and we advance without casualty through the suburbs then the parks of central London. After a swift dash through Westminster Square, we catch sight of the stunning County Hall building. Excited, we jog across Westminster Bridge and are soon being welcomed back by our fellow Angels. They're delighted to see us, curious about Dan-Dan, anxious when they note Jakob's absence. We assure them that everything's fine, promise to fill them in on all the details later, then ask if Dr. Oystein is around. They tell us he's in his laboratory and we make a beeline for it. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.520256 | 7.1 |
The doc spots us through the glass of the lab door and hurries out into the courtyard to greet us. He's smiling warmly, arms spread wide. Then he spots Dan-Dan and draws to a halt. Nobody says anything for a moment while we wait for Dr. Oystein to compose himself. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.521109 | 7.1 |
"It is good to see you again, my Angels," he murmurs. "But I must admit I am surprised by the company you are keeping." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.521962 | 7.1 |
"This is–" I begin to tell him. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.522814 | 7.1 |
"–Lord Daniel Wood," Dr. Oystein cuts in. "I recognize him from pictures I've seen in the past, but even without them I would have known him from your accurate description after your stay on the _Belfast_. I see that his penchant for naval outfits remains." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.523667 | 7.1 |
"You can't go wrong with a good sailor's costume," Dan-Dan smirks, then adds, "I know you too. I've heard many tales about the fabulous Dr. Oystein. Our owl-eyed friend is full of them." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.52452 | 7.1 |
"You consort with him now?" Dr. Oystein asks coldly. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.525373 | 7.1 |
"Oh yes. We're the best of friends." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.526226 | 7.1 |
The doc mulls that over, then looks around and frowns. "Jakob is not with you. Is he...?" | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.527079 | 7.1 |
"Don't worry, he's fine," I tell him. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.527932 | 7.1 |
"He's become the deputy mayor of New Kirkham," Shane says, and the doc stares at us uncertainly. "Honestly. I'm not kidding." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.528785 | 7.1 |
"It sounds as if you have had a most unusual adventure," the doc mutters. | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.529638 | 7.1 |
"And it's not over yet," I growl. "The KKK took Vinyl and a load of other people prisoner. Owl Man wants us to swap Dan-Dan for them. That's why we haven't ripped his throat out." | Zom-B Clans - Darren Shan | 0.53049 | 7.1 |