skeskinen/books3_lowgrade_paragraphs · Datasets at Hugging Face

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"Listen, I know it's gonna be an adjustment to take orders from me, but I promise nothing will really change. We'll still be Sarah and Anya. You'll see. This is going to be great."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.211205	6.6
I nodded, fishing out a pair of spare heels from desk drawer. Every respectable fashion girl had extra pairs at her desk. I had six. Something for every kind of emergency. Flats, boots, block heels, stilettos, evening shoes, and even sneakers.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.211512	6.6
Sarah cleared her throat. She wanted more of a response. I smiled, or tried to. It was more a baring of teeth. I wanted to ask her if she liked me still. No, if she loved me. If she believed Lisa. But I didn't.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.211819	6.6
"Where do we begin?" I asked.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.212126	6.6
"I knew you'd get on board. Okay, let's go over our Fashion Week plan." She chatted on about designers and models.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.21274	6.6
I was only half listening. I could fix this, right? I could somehow find a way to make this work. _Think, Anya, think._	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.213047	6.6
"Anya? Hello? Are you even listening? That is so something we need to work on. Like, you're off in your own little world all the time. And stop muttering to yourself. It's full-on creepy. That's why you didn't get promoted, you know. All your weird little habits and tics."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.213354	6.6
Sarah was right. I was not a _La Vie_ woman. But I would be, even if I had to murder everyone to make it happen.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.213661	6.6
"The bloggers will be dressed to kill." I switched to a safer topic. _Talk about anything else but me and my history._	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.213968	6.6
"I know. I hate them. They, like, come out of nowhere."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.214275	6.6
"O-M-G, yes!" She snickered.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.214889	6.6
Roaches. That would be _our_ joke. We'd say it again and again and then double over from laughing. Jokes were essential. I liked having them with BFFs. Meredith and I had one. We would always point out a boy and say, "That's who you're gonna marry." And then laugh until we cried. She always picked the ugliest ones for me. She was such a bitch.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.215196	6.6
"You know," Sarah added, "if you work to make _me_ happy, we'll _all_ be happy."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.215503	6.6
Sarah went to lunch with Cassie. She did it to spite me. It was my nightmare coming true. But it just made her look bad. What was she even thinking, hanging out with an intern? I had to help her. For her own reputation's sake.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.216117	6.6
"Sarah, have you noticed Cassie's wardrobe? It's, like, the _best_ ," I said when she got back. "I think she might be the best-dressed person at the mag. Now that Mulberry's gone. Don't you agree?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.216424	6.6
"The best? Anya, you need your eyes checked. I bet you she's wearing something from a _sample sale_." She spit the last two words out. Only poor people went to those. Unless it was the Manolo one, of course. Sarah crossed her arms as she eyed Cassie at her desk. "I mean, what _is_ that outfit?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.216731	6.6
"Looks like Stella McCartney, current season. I just saw that dress in Barneys. So not sample."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.217038	6.6
"Where did she get the money to buy that?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.217345	6.6
"Maybe she has a trust fund? You're not the only one with a rich daddy, you know."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.217652	6.6
"You're one to talk. Where'd you get that Rick Owens jacket you've been wearing?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.217959	6.6
She had noticed my clothes. I had only worn it twice so far. You can't rewear something that major too often.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.218266	6.6
"Sample sale," I lied.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.218573	6.6
"Liar. It's not on sale yet."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.21888	6.6
I stuck my tongue out at her.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.219186	6.6
"Like she works here? Because she should. What's the issue, Sarah?" I raised my eyebrow at her.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.2198	6.6
"I just don't like her. She's bugging me. Always hanging around. Can we exchange her for another intern?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.220107	6.6
"Just make her deal with Celia for a week. That'll scare her off." We both laughed. Best friends forever and ever. We were both standing up to talk. We were together.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.220721	6.6
"Have you lost any weight?" Sarah scrunched her face. It was her sympathetic look. Or as close as Sarah would get to sympathy.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.221028	6.6
"Ugh, like a pound? But I'm not eating anything. It's not healthy. Celia won't be happy until I have an eating disorder. Why is she so obsessed?" We were talking like friends. Like buddies. This was heaven.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.221335	6.6
"It's the Botox thing. You know . . ."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.221642	6.6
"Her Botox doc retired, and she swears he was magic, and she won't go see anyone else. So now she's working out like a maniac so her husband won't leave her. Also, I think she kind of hates Mulberry two-point-oh," Sarah explained.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.222256	6.6
"Bronwen, you mean?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.222563	6.6
"Yeah, what's up with those crowns she wears? So weird." Celia's new assistant (who she still called Mulberry) always had flowers or plants in her hair.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.22287	6.6
"I don't know. It's kind of cute."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.223177	6.6
"Ugh, you have the worst taste, I swear." But she laughed.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.223484	6.6
I had to keep the conversation going. She was into this, into me.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.223791	6.6
"So Celia's just going to get as skinny as possible?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.224098	6.6
"It's the _La Vie_ way!" She grinned.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.224405	6.6
Sarah was right. The joke was that if you were above a certain size, you might get hired here, but you'd be forced to lose the weight (see: me). On the surface, the magazine was very prohealth. _Lose weight the smart way, be healthy_ —all that jazz. But in reality, there were scales in the bathroom. At lunch meetings, some editors didn't allow their assistants to eat the catered food that was provided. Celia liked to come off as someone who ate and drank whatever she wanted, but if you put a burger in front of her, she'd probably punch you for thinking she ate.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.224712	6.6
But now I had an idea of what to do with Celia. I didn't ask about Lisa. I didn't want to ruin the moment. Our moment.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.225019	6.6
That night after work, I made a Celia mood board. Then I logged into Diana's account and went on a commenting spree. She loved all my pieces, hated Sarah's. It was petty, but it would (hopefully) get Greg off my back since he didn't think I was promotion material. Whatever, I'd show him.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.225326	6.6
Dr. M checked in to see if I'd calmed down (I hadn't).	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.225633	6.6
"Worry only about the things you can change. Everything else is out of your control."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.22594	6.6
He was right. I had to take control. "Thanks. You're so right."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.226247	6.6
"Where are we with the up-and-coming designers, Anya?" Celia asked loudly the next morning. She affected a faux Continental accent for good measure—it was the fashion voice. Women of a certain age in the industry all had it. Somehow, going to Paris four times a year meant they'd "studied" abroad. "Fashion Week is looming."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.226861	6.6
"The story's done. I sent it to you last week for approval."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.227168	6.6
"Well, why didn't you remind me?" She sniffed. I shrugged. There was no sense in arguing. "And, Sarah, update me on the models-to-watch piece."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.227475	6.6
"Well, we did the shoot, but—"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.227782	6.6
"But it turns out that four of the models aren't being cast this Fashion Week, so we can't really say they're models to watch."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.228396	6.6
"Then why did we use them?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.228703	6.6
"Because you liked them?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.22901	6.6
I closed my eyes as she said it, savoring the brief moment of joy as Sarah fucked up. It was the wrong answer. Celia's eyes sent death rays. We all waited for Sarah's head to explode. If she died, I'd be next in line for her job. But reality check: she was alive and my boss.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.229317	6.6
I cleared my throat. "Can we just call up a couple smaller designers—perhaps the ones in my story—and ask if they can use the girls we shot so we don't have to redo the entire spread?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.229624	6.6
Celia looked at me appraisingly. _You made the wrong choice, Celia_.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.229931	6.6
"Good idea. Get on that. And how's the diet coming?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.230238	6.6
Dammit, even a good idea couldn't spare me this indignity.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.230545	6.6
"It's coming. I'm down eight pounds."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.230852	6.6
"If you think I'm going to help you call the designers, think again," Sarah hissed at me as we walked to our desks. I wanted to slap her on the forehead. Hard. But she was my boss now. I had to get in line. Besides, I was the one who had to rewrite the story.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.231466	6.6
"We can have Cassie call them, and I'll rework the story for you." See? I was helping her.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.231773	6.6
"Whatever." That was as much of an acknowledgment as I was going to get. I'd take it. "Anya, are those the new Pradas?" She pointed at my shoes. I nodded. They went perfectly with my leather pencil skirt and Marni top. "O-M-G, did you copy me? They're totally the same as mine!"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.23208	6.6
No, hers were blue.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.232387	6.6
"Sarah, your style is just so amazing, I couldn't help myself!" I heard the words pour out of my mouth. I was worse than Cassie. I was kissing Sarah's taut and toned ass.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.232694	6.6
"It is, I know. But you can't just copy people. Ugh, Lisa was so right about you."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.233001	6.6
Red. I was seeing red. Literally. Was this some kind of brain disease?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.233308	6.6
"I'm sorry. I should have asked you first."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.233615	6.6
"At least you got them in a different color. Just check with me next time, okay?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.233922	6.6
I nodded. If I made Sarah happy, we'd all be happy.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.234229	6.6
Our next meeting with Celia didn't go much better. It was a run-through, where she approved clothes and accessories for an upcoming shoot. She liked all of us to show up, to provide input she would then ignore.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.234536	6.6
"What the hell kind of shoe is this?" Celia held up a jeweled sling-back and waved it in Dalia's face. "Seriously, what the fuck is this shit? Are we doing a tacky trend? This isn't fucking India or wherever you're from."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.234843	6.6
No one breathed. No one made a sound. Had she really said that out loud? I glanced at Dalia. She looked like she was going to strangle Celia. But she couldn't say anything, not without getting fired. HR didn't care about Celia's antics. As far as management was concerned, she was a genius, and that meant she could say and do whatever she wanted. Even with brown and black models and actresses gracing our covers, our bosses were firmly stuck in decades past.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.23515	6.6
The silence was killing me. You could hear someone's jaw grinding, though not sure whose. I had to speak. I had to do something. My palms were sweating.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.235457	6.6
"Um, I like that shoe." I tried to smile. I heard Bronwen gasp from across the room.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.235764	6.6
"No! No! No!" Celia screeched, before throwing the shoe. Later, Celia would claim she was merely _tossing_ the offending footwear into the declined pile, but we all saw her aim for Dalia's head, like a hunter lining up a kill shot. Dalia ducked, and the shoe hit Evie in the face. She had to walk around with a mark on her forehead for the rest of the day. (She'd get a "sorry-I-hit-you" present from Celia later.)	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.236071	6.6
I'd like to say that run-throughs aren't usually such violent affairs. But they were at _La Vie_. It all depended on Celia's mood. Tornadoes of shoes flew around us, earrings went airborne, belts were snapped so fiercely, we flinched. And yet Sarah placed Cassie front and center. It was cruel; she would get hit by flying accessories.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.236378	6.6
"Cassie, you really need to sit here and take notes. We need to make sure we know what's in and out of the story so we know what to write about." If she'd added a cackle to the end, it wouldn't have been out of place. She still hadn't forgiven the intern for being so well-dressed. I smiled.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.236685	6.6
"All I ask is that when we do a story on disco in St. Petersburg, you have the right accessories, Dalia. How hard is that?" Celia demanded, glaring at each of us in turn. "It's disco, it's Lenin, it's glamorous Russia. It just works. But apparently, not for you. This intern"—she gestured at Cassie—"could do a better job. Perhaps we should give her the story assignment?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.236992	6.6
It really could have been worse. The story wasn't yet killed; Dalia had a day to redo the entire concept. It wasn't her fault. The idea was pretty idiotic. Celia had been weirdly in love with Russia for the last few weeks. She'd recently watched _Dr. Zhivago_ and was obsessed. Maybe she had a new Russian lover?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.237299	6.6
The next couple days were a blur of Fashion Week preparation. Which really meant calling in clothes to "borrow" (and never return) for Celia, Sarah, Evie, Dalia, and myself.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.237913	6.6
Cassie, meanwhile, was in charge of RSVPing for all our events. We couldn't exactly be expected to do it ourselves. We each had about forty-five runway shows and presentations, along with dinners and parties every night. But it was a learning experience for her; Cassie got to learn what it was like to be invited to things. (Bronwen was handling Celia's invites. They were always called invites, not invitations. Verbs as nouns and nouns as verbs were the fashion way.)	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.238219	6.6
"I thought you were getting your hair done?" Sarah stared at my head as I walked past her desk to get to mine.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.238526	6.6
"I did?" Didn't she see the waves and layers? How bouncy my blown-out hair was?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.238833	6.6
"But it's still the same color. Like, ew, Anya." She wrinkled her nose. That meant she hated it.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.23914	6.6
"We agreed I was just getting a cut." I was not proud of this moment. She had decreed that I needed a new do, and off I went to John Barrett at Bergdorf. It was even layered the way she'd suggested. And she had been right, really—my hair was in need of some TLC. I wanted it to be Instagram worthy. I wanted her to love it.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.239447	6.6
"Ugh, brown is _so_ boring."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.239754	6.6
"Sarah, you didn't mention dyeing my hair," I said through my teeth. My heart was racing again. I needed a Xanax. I had done what Sarah asked me to do. Why wasn't she praising me?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.240061	6.6
"Whatever. You need to do something edgy with it. You're just so . . . dull."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.240368	6.6
"Okay, sure. I'll keep that in mind next time." My voice was too bright, too loud. She was helping me. Like a friend does.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.240675	6.6
"I mean, I bet Celia would love it if you went for the silver-gray look. Or lavender."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.240982	6.6
"That's not really me."	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.241289	6.6
"That's the point! You're boring!"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.241596	6.6
I watched her wrap her long blonde hair into a topknot. I imagined using her locks to strangle the life out of her. Nothing was good enough for her. I knew that already, but now, as her underling, the point was made even clearer. Sarah had expectations no one could meet, mainly because they shifted hour to hour. She loved me, but she hated how I looked. She wanted me to take style pointers from her, but she never wanted me to copy her again. I rarely knew where I stood, and that made me anxious. Where the hell was my Xanax?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.241903	6.6
I was desperate for a Sarah win. But the more I craved it, the more annoyed I got. At Sarah, not myself. She would never be satisfied. I glanced at my Instagrammed selfie from the salon. My hair looked good, dammit. What would it take for Sarah Taft to tell me I was perfect?	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.24221	6.6
Dr. M was not going to approve. He would give me an F for the week. He was the only shrink I'd ever met who graded his patients. The categories were physical health, social, dating, personal care, and overall well-being. You had to get at least a B in everything to make him happy and not up your meds. (I had to lie to pass.) He would so fail me on social. The mere thought of that made me panic. I needed to scream.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.242517	6.6
Then my ears pricked up as I heard Cassie's phone convo.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.242824	6.6
"Don't you know who I am? Yes, well, I work with Sarah Taft and Anya St. Clair, so I expect a good seat. It doesn't matter if they're already going, I need one too!"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.243131	6.6
I glanced at Sarah, who frowned in reply.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.243438	6.6
"Great, and can you send a car too—"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.243745	6.6
I grabbed the phone out of her hand and hung it up. "In what universe do you think it's appropriate to demand access like that?"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.244052	6.6
"Well, I mean, I work here, so—"	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.244359	6.6
"No, you _intern_ here. You fetch our coffee and our packages and transcribe our interviews, and if you're lucky—and pull your head out of your fucking ass—you just may learn a few things while you're here. But you most certainly do not work here!" I shouted the last part. The cubicles near us went eerily quiet. I knew I was taking my issues with Sarah out on Cassie. But it was helping, sort of.	#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar	0.244666	6.6

"Listen, I know it's gonna be an adjustment to take orders from me, but I promise nothing will really change. We'll still be Sarah and Anya. You'll see. This is going to be great."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.211205

6.6

I nodded, fishing out a pair of spare heels from desk drawer. Every respectable fashion girl had extra pairs at her desk. I had six. Something for every kind of emergency. Flats, boots, block heels, stilettos, evening shoes, and even sneakers.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.211512

6.6

Sarah cleared her throat. She wanted more of a response. I smiled, or tried to. It was more a baring of teeth. I wanted to ask her if she liked me still. No, if she loved me. If she believed Lisa. But I didn't.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.211819

6.6

"Where do we begin?" I asked.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.212126

6.6

"I knew you'd get on board. Okay, let's go over our Fashion Week plan." She chatted on about designers and models.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.21274

6.6

I was only half listening. I could fix this, right? I could somehow find a way to make this work. _Think, Anya, think._

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.213047

6.6

"Anya? Hello? Are you even listening? That is so something we need to work on. Like, you're off in your own little world all the time. And stop muttering to yourself. It's full-on creepy. That's why you didn't get promoted, you know. All your weird little habits and tics."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.213354

6.6

Sarah was right. I was not a _La Vie_ woman. But I would be, even if I had to murder everyone to make it happen.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.213661

6.6

"The bloggers will be dressed to kill." I switched to a safer topic. _Talk about anything else but me and my history._

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.213968

6.6

"I know. I hate them. They, like, come out of nowhere."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.214275

6.6

"O-M-G, yes!" She snickered.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.214889

6.6

Roaches. That would be _our_ joke. We'd say it again and again and then double over from laughing. Jokes were essential. I liked having them with BFFs. Meredith and I had one. We would always point out a boy and say, "That's who you're gonna marry." And then laugh until we cried. She always picked the ugliest ones for me. She was such a bitch.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.215196

6.6

"You know," Sarah added, "if you work to make _me_ happy, we'll _all_ be happy."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.215503

6.6

Sarah went to lunch with Cassie. She did it to spite me. It was my nightmare coming true. But it just made her look bad. What was she even thinking, hanging out with an intern? I had to help her. For her own reputation's sake.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.216117

6.6

"Sarah, have you noticed Cassie's wardrobe? It's, like, the _best_ ," I said when she got back. "I think she might be the best-dressed person at the mag. Now that Mulberry's gone. Don't you agree?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.216424

6.6

"The best? Anya, you need your eyes checked. I bet you she's wearing something from a _sample sale_." She spit the last two words out. Only poor people went to those. Unless it was the Manolo one, of course. Sarah crossed her arms as she eyed Cassie at her desk. "I mean, what _is_ that outfit?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.216731

6.6

"Looks like Stella McCartney, current season. I just saw that dress in Barneys. So not sample."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.217038

6.6

"Where did she get the money to buy that?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.217345

6.6

"Maybe she has a trust fund? You're not the only one with a rich daddy, you know."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.217652

6.6

"You're one to talk. Where'd you get that Rick Owens jacket you've been wearing?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.217959

6.6

She had noticed my clothes. I had only worn it twice so far. You can't rewear something that major too often.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.218266

6.6

"Sample sale," I lied.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.218573

6.6

"Liar. It's not on sale yet."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.21888

6.6

I stuck my tongue out at her.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.219186

6.6

"Like she works here? Because she should. What's the issue, Sarah?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.2198

6.6

"I just don't like her. She's bugging me. Always hanging around. Can we exchange her for another intern?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.220107

6.6

"Just make her deal with Celia for a week. That'll scare her off." We both laughed. Best friends forever and ever. We were both standing up to talk. We were together.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.220721

6.6

"Have you lost any weight?" Sarah scrunched her face. It was her sympathetic look. Or as close as Sarah would get to sympathy.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.221028

6.6

"Ugh, like a pound? But I'm not eating anything. It's not healthy. Celia won't be happy until I have an eating disorder. Why is she so obsessed?" We were talking like friends. Like buddies. This was heaven.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.221335

6.6

"It's the Botox thing. You know . . ."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.221642

6.6

"Her Botox doc retired, and she swears he was magic, and she won't go see anyone else. So now she's working out like a maniac so her husband won't leave her. Also, I think she kind of hates Mulberry two-point-oh," Sarah explained.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.222256

6.6

"Bronwen, you mean?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.222563

6.6

"Yeah, what's up with those crowns she wears? So weird." Celia's new assistant (who she still called Mulberry) always had flowers or plants in her hair.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.22287

6.6

"I don't know. It's kind of cute."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.223177

6.6

"Ugh, you have the worst taste, I swear." But she laughed.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.223484

6.6

I had to keep the conversation going. She was into this, into me.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.223791

6.6

"So Celia's just going to get as skinny as possible?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.224098

6.6

"It's the _La Vie_ way!" She grinned.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.224405

6.6

Sarah was right. The joke was that if you were above a certain size, you might get hired here, but you'd be forced to lose the weight (see: me). On the surface, the magazine was very prohealth. _Lose weight the smart way, be healthy_ —all that jazz. But in reality, there were scales in the bathroom. At lunch meetings, some editors didn't allow their assistants to eat the catered food that was provided. Celia liked to come off as someone who ate and drank whatever she wanted, but if you put a burger in front of her, she'd probably punch you for thinking she ate.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.224712

6.6

But now I had an idea of what to do with Celia. I didn't ask about Lisa. I didn't want to ruin the moment. Our moment.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.225019

6.6

That night after work, I made a Celia mood board. Then I logged into Diana's account and went on a commenting spree. She loved all my pieces, hated Sarah's. It was petty, but it would (hopefully) get Greg off my back since he didn't think I was promotion material. Whatever, I'd show him.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.225326

6.6

Dr. M checked in to see if I'd calmed down (I hadn't).

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.225633

6.6

"Worry only about the things you can change. Everything else is out of your control."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.22594

6.6

He was right. I had to take control. "Thanks. You're so right."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.226247

6.6

"Where are we with the up-and-coming designers, Anya?" Celia asked loudly the next morning. She affected a faux Continental accent for good measure—it was the fashion voice. Women of a certain age in the industry all had it. Somehow, going to Paris four times a year meant they'd "studied" abroad. "Fashion Week is looming."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.226861

6.6

"The story's done. I sent it to you last week for approval."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.227168

6.6

"Well, why didn't you remind me?" She sniffed. I shrugged. There was no sense in arguing. "And, Sarah, update me on the models-to-watch piece."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.227475

6.6

"Well, we did the shoot, but—"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.227782

6.6

"But it turns out that four of the models aren't being cast this Fashion Week, so we can't really say they're models to watch."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.228396

6.6

"Then why did we use them?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.228703

6.6

"Because you liked them?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.22901

6.6

I closed my eyes as she said it, savoring the brief moment of joy as Sarah fucked up. It was the wrong answer. Celia's eyes sent death rays. We all waited for Sarah's head to explode. If she died, I'd be next in line for her job. But reality check: she was alive and my boss.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.229317

6.6

I cleared my throat. "Can we just call up a couple smaller designers—perhaps the ones in my story—and ask if they can use the girls we shot so we don't have to redo the entire spread?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.229624

6.6

Celia looked at me appraisingly. _You made the wrong choice, Celia_.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.229931

6.6

"Good idea. Get on that. And how's the diet coming?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.230238

6.6

Dammit, even a good idea couldn't spare me this indignity.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.230545

6.6

"It's coming. I'm down eight pounds."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.230852

6.6

"If you think I'm going to help you call the designers, think again," Sarah hissed at me as we walked to our desks. I wanted to slap her on the forehead. Hard. But she was my boss now. I had to get in line. Besides, I was the one who had to rewrite the story.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.231466

6.6

"We can have Cassie call them, and I'll rework the story for you." See? I was helping her.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.231773

6.6

"Whatever." That was as much of an acknowledgment as I was going to get. I'd take it. "Anya, are those the new Pradas?" She pointed at my shoes. I nodded. They went perfectly with my leather pencil skirt and Marni top. "O-M-G, did you copy me? They're totally the same as mine!"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.23208

6.6

No, hers were blue.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.232387

6.6

"Sarah, your style is just so amazing, I couldn't help myself!" I heard the words pour out of my mouth. I was worse than Cassie. I was kissing Sarah's taut and toned ass.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.232694

6.6

"It is, I know. But you can't just copy people. Ugh, Lisa was so right about you."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.233001

6.6

Red. I was seeing red. Literally. Was this some kind of brain disease?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.233308

6.6

"I'm sorry. I should have asked you first."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.233615

6.6

"At least you got them in a different color. Just check with me next time, okay?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.233922

6.6

I nodded. If I made Sarah happy, we'd all be happy.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.234229

6.6

Our next meeting with Celia didn't go much better. It was a run-through, where she approved clothes and accessories for an upcoming shoot. She liked all of us to show up, to provide input she would then ignore.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.234536

6.6

"What the hell kind of shoe is this?" Celia held up a jeweled sling-back and waved it in Dalia's face. "Seriously, what the fuck is this shit? Are we doing a tacky trend? This isn't fucking India or wherever you're from."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.234843

6.6

No one breathed. No one made a sound. Had she really said that out loud? I glanced at Dalia. She looked like she was going to strangle Celia. But she couldn't say anything, not without getting fired. HR didn't care about Celia's antics. As far as management was concerned, she was a genius, and that meant she could say and do whatever she wanted. Even with brown and black models and actresses gracing our covers, our bosses were firmly stuck in decades past.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.23515

6.6

The silence was killing me. You could hear someone's jaw grinding, though not sure whose. I had to speak. I had to do something. My palms were sweating.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.235457

6.6

"Um, I like that shoe." I tried to smile. I heard Bronwen gasp from across the room.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.235764

6.6

"No! No! No!" Celia screeched, before throwing the shoe. Later, Celia would claim she was merely _tossing_ the offending footwear into the declined pile, but we all saw her aim for Dalia's head, like a hunter lining up a kill shot. Dalia ducked, and the shoe hit Evie in the face. She had to walk around with a mark on her forehead for the rest of the day. (She'd get a "sorry-I-hit-you" present from Celia later.)

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.236071

6.6

I'd like to say that run-throughs aren't usually such violent affairs. But they were at _La Vie_. It all depended on Celia's mood. Tornadoes of shoes flew around us, earrings went airborne, belts were snapped so fiercely, we flinched. And yet Sarah placed Cassie front and center. It was cruel; she would get hit by flying accessories.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.236378

6.6

"Cassie, you really need to sit here and take notes. We need to make sure we know what's in and out of the story so we know what to write about." If she'd added a cackle to the end, it wouldn't have been out of place. She still hadn't forgiven the intern for being so well-dressed. I smiled.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.236685

6.6

"All I ask is that when we do a story on disco in St. Petersburg, you have the right accessories, Dalia. How hard is that?" Celia demanded, glaring at each of us in turn. "It's disco, it's Lenin, it's glamorous Russia. It just works. But apparently, not for you. This intern"—she gestured at Cassie—"could do a better job. Perhaps we should give her the story assignment?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.236992

6.6

It really could have been worse. The story wasn't yet killed; Dalia had a day to redo the entire concept. It wasn't her fault. The idea was pretty idiotic. Celia had been weirdly in love with Russia for the last few weeks. She'd recently watched _Dr. Zhivago_ and was obsessed. Maybe she had a new Russian lover?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.237299

6.6

The next couple days were a blur of Fashion Week preparation. Which really meant calling in clothes to "borrow" (and never return) for Celia, Sarah, Evie, Dalia, and myself.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.237913

6.6

Cassie, meanwhile, was in charge of RSVPing for all our events. We couldn't exactly be expected to do it ourselves. We each had about forty-five runway shows and presentations, along with dinners and parties every night. But it was a learning experience for her; Cassie got to learn what it was like to be invited to things. (Bronwen was handling Celia's invites. They were always called invites, not invitations. Verbs as nouns and nouns as verbs were the fashion way.)

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.238219

6.6

"I thought you were getting your hair done?" Sarah stared at my head as I walked past her desk to get to mine.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.238526

6.6

"I did?" Didn't she see the waves and layers? How bouncy my blown-out hair was?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.238833

6.6

"But it's still the same color. Like, ew, Anya." She wrinkled her nose. That meant she hated it.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.23914

6.6

"We agreed I was just getting a cut." I was not proud of this moment. She had decreed that I needed a new do, and off I went to John Barrett at Bergdorf. It was even layered the way she'd suggested. And she had been right, really—my hair was in need of some TLC. I wanted it to be Instagram worthy. I wanted her to love it.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.239447

6.6

"Ugh, brown is _so_ boring."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.239754

6.6

"Sarah, you didn't mention dyeing my hair," I said through my teeth. My heart was racing again. I needed a Xanax. I had done what Sarah asked me to do. Why wasn't she praising me?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.240061

6.6

"Whatever. You need to do something edgy with it. You're just so . . . dull."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.240368

6.6

"Okay, sure. I'll keep that in mind next time." My voice was too bright, too loud. She was helping me. Like a friend does.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.240675

6.6

"I mean, I bet Celia would love it if you went for the silver-gray look. Or lavender."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.240982

6.6

"That's not really me."

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.241289

6.6

"That's the point! You're boring!"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.241596

6.6

I watched her wrap her long blonde hair into a topknot. I imagined using her locks to strangle the life out of her. Nothing was good enough for her. I knew that already, but now, as her underling, the point was made even clearer. Sarah had expectations no one could meet, mainly because they shifted hour to hour. She loved me, but she hated how I looked. She wanted me to take style pointers from her, but she never wanted me to copy her again. I rarely knew where I stood, and that made me anxious. Where the hell was my Xanax?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.241903

6.6

I was desperate for a Sarah win. But the more I craved it, the more annoyed I got. At Sarah, not myself. She would never be satisfied. I glanced at my Instagrammed selfie from the salon. My hair looked good, dammit. What would it take for Sarah Taft to tell me I was perfect?

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.24221

6.6

Dr. M was not going to approve. He would give me an F for the week. He was the only shrink I'd ever met who graded his patients. The categories were physical health, social, dating, personal care, and overall well-being. You had to get at least a B in everything to make him happy and not up your meds. (I had to lie to pass.) He would so fail me on social. The mere thought of that made me panic. I needed to scream.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.242517

6.6

Then my ears pricked up as I heard Cassie's phone convo.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.242824

6.6

"Don't you know who I am? Yes, well, I work with Sarah Taft and Anya St. Clair, so I expect a good seat. It doesn't matter if they're already going, I need one too!"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.243131

6.6

I glanced at Sarah, who frowned in reply.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.243438

6.6

"Great, and can you send a car too—"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.243745

6.6

I grabbed the phone out of her hand and hung it up. "In what universe do you think it's appropriate to demand access like that?"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.244052

6.6

"Well, I mean, I work here, so—"

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.244359

6.6

"No, you _intern_ here. You fetch our coffee and our packages and transcribe our interviews, and if you're lucky—and pull your head out of your fucking ass—you just may learn a few things while you're here. But you most certainly do not work here!" I shouted the last part. The cubicles near us went eerily quiet. I knew I was taking my issues with Sarah out on Cassie. But it was helping, sort of.

#FashionVictim - Amina Akhtar

0.244666

6.6