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So, my (22f) bf's (23m) family lives in the apartment next to us. And his brother (17m) visits a lot. That's fine, but recently he spent a whole 6-7 days here. I was never asked if I was okay with this. He left on Friday afternoon and is already wanting to come back over for an indefinite amount of time. I both have extreme social anxiety and am an introvert. Having visitors is emotionally and psychologically exhausting for me no matter who it is, so I'm still recovering from the week he was just here. Plus he was talking to my boyfriend via x-box live asking to come over at 3AM. My boyfriend asked me, and I said that I really am not comfortable with visitors right now in the first place, let alone at 3am. He got SUPER PISSED. He kept saying stuff like "well, I guess it's more your home than mine, since I guess I don't have a say." AITA for not wanting my bf's brother over at 3am for another indefinite amount of time even though I'm not mentally prepared for company? ######

NTA Your boyfriend should respect the fact that you both share the same space and that you have social anxiety issues. If he wants his brother to hang out at YOUR apartment as a "visitor" for days on end then maybe it's time you found a new place ... or a new boyfriend. ######

So I (f18) have gone bra less for almost 2 years now. I wear bralettes or sports bras on the occasion, but you won’t catch me in a padded bra. For what it’s worth, I’m super flat anyways, and most of the time people really can’t tell the difference. On to the story. I was invited yesterday to a small bbq with close family at my grandmothers house. It was 98° and the whole event was outside. I have 4 cousins, one of which is (m25) and it’s a well known fact now in our family he’s recovering from a porn addiction. He lost his fiancé of two years due to it but recently he’s been doing better. It’s obviously not something anyone ever brings up or talks about due to the nature of the subject. Well, I was wearing a strapless top with no bra on, and halfway through my aunt had asked me if I could go put something different on or a coat because she was worried I was going to “put thoughts in my cousins head that could sway his progress”. I was offended, and told her I wouldn’t be changing because it’s too hot. I’m his cousin, he shouldn’t be looking at me like that anyways, and if he can’t see a set of shoulders, or a tube top, that must mean he can’t go outside at all. They left early and since then I’ve been getting slammed by all my family for ruining the 4th of July get together and ruining my cousins progress, and life. I feel like shit and I’m regretting that I didn’t just change. So, AITA? Thanks in advance. ######

NTA Your body is your body, noone else. A. He should not be looking at his cousin this way. B. Your aunt should not be trying to sexualise you and your cousin. C. If he had the issue he should have stepped out and away, rather than letting his Mom make a scene. And if he didnt say something and she kicked off does she really have that little faith about her son, that he would sexualise his cousin that way. ######

This is my first time posting and English is my second language so bare with me. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. We have 3 dogs and during quarantine we came to the agreement that he would take out the dogs and I would cook, do dishes and laundry because I am high risk and our state is in bad shape -also, people in our neighborhood don’t respect social distancing so I get bad anxiety attacks when I walk around. Well, he’s been 5-6 days without showering? I don’t know, but he has a dry scalp and I could see all the dead skin on his hair and face this morning. It grossed me out and I told him he had to shower today. He’s been playing video games all day and ignored the shower. When I had already showered I asked him if he wanted to shower while I cooked lunch and he said no. We have already had dinner and I reminded him to go to the shower because tomorrow early we are going grocery shopping so we can find parking after shopping. I just reminded him and said something like “you still have to shower, it’s pretty late and tomorrow morning we are going shopping so you won’t have time”. Well he got pissed at me and told me to go take the dogs out and he’ll shower. I refused and said that he’s been playing video games all day and we had an agreement about taking the dogs out. He still yelled at me and said he was going to the shower and that I had to take the dogs out, that I should help because I didn’t do anything today. Well, I made breakfast, lunch and dinner, apart from laundry and dishes. So I basically spent more time doing things than him. So AITA for reminding my boyfriend to take a shower and to honor our agreement during quarantine? ######

NTA Your bf is really getting used to not having to do much all day. A lot of us will have rude awakenings when everything opens up again and we have to go back to doing things all the time. I don't like to dance around issues so I would probably tell him that his dirty lazy ass needs to shower and that if he can't do simple tasks without making a scene then that's pretty disappointing. I would also stop cooking 3x day until "morale improves" as they say. I mean, who wants to suck a dick that hasn't been washed in a week, that's nasty. And who wants to suck a dick that doesn't even notice he is gross, rude, lazy, and childish. That's also nasty. But hey, I'm single, so take that all with a grain of salt. I would probably end up being too aggressive about it. I get triggered easily by this kind of taking advantage of people with respect to household chores. Good luck. ######

Six months ago my now boyfriend broke up with his ex and immediately started dating me. We moved in together and really started going hard in our relationship. Throughout these past six months he has been in contact with his ex. He says it’s to make sure she’s okay and not in a horrible mindset after their breakup. He talks to her about once a week and I have tried to tell him it’s not letting her heal or get over their breakup. She has asked him multiple times if he’s currently dating anyone and he tells her no. (Trying to not hurt her feelings or self esteem.) She recently found out about me (via social media) and that we were dating and lost it. I’ve now been asked not to post anything as to keep her from being even more upset. I feel as if her emotions are being prioritized over mine? AITA for still wanting to post pictures of MY life on my social media platforms? AITA for not feeling comfortable in this situation? ######

NTA Your bf is actively lying to and emotionally manipulating his ex. He is doing the same thing to you, by telling you all of this is to protect her feelings. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about her feelings. He’s hiding your relationship and talking to his ex and lying to her face. Red flags are abundant here... run. ######

Unfortunately, my bird died peacefully from old age in the last month. I had been expecting this for a couple of weeks but I was still devastated. Now, this was my own bird. I paid for her myself, fed her with my other birds every day, and paid attention to her every day as well. My sister has never been interested in our birds other than looking at the cage every so often when she goes outside. She also blamed me for her bird's death which happened last year even though she never paid attention to it and I did all the care for it, she just looked at it even though it was her responsibility. Anyway, throughout the day she kept randomly mentioning my bird's name at random times and making jokes about her death. Like we were just having a normal conversation and she said my bird's nickname in a mocking voice, this was a little bit ago so I don't remember the exact conversation, but it went something like that son I told her to shut up. AITA? ######

NTA Your anger is justified. Your sister sounds nasty. ######

Throwaway account for privacy reasons. My (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######

NTA Your accomplishments have nothing to do with her failures and vice versa. She can be upset for herself and still manage to be supportive and happy for you. ######

Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes. Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program. Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it. Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA. AITA? ######

NTA You’ve done more work than needed. It seems like she wants both of you to launch the business...If you don’t have the bandwidth, that’s okay. ######

So my (19f) boyfriend (20m) was on the Ps4 last night playing GTA with his friends. I was sitting on the couch watching him when he started talking about me. They were asking him gross questions and he was *answering* them after I kept throwing stuff at him trying to get him to stop. He started talking about the sex positions I like, kinks and stuff I have, the noises I make, things we do in the bedroom, started talking about my body and told them he wishes he could show them my ass and tits and etc talking about how big they are and shit. After that he started making “jokes” about how he’d let them take turns with me for “the right price”. He thought it was hilarious but it stopped being funny after like 1 minute. I kept telling him to turn it off and shut up because ew. But they kept going on about certain features of my body and how he’ll show them for some money. He claimed he was joking but I was upset at this point in time. So I got up and unplugged his Ps4 so that he couldn’t say anything more to his friends. He Told me he was doing a “quest” or whatever and that I was being so uptight and a prude and that I need to “chill” because it was all jokes. Apparently I am overreacting for being upset. AITA for getting upset and sleeping on the couch tonight and being a “prude” while he overshared things about our sex life and made horrible jokes? ######

NTA You’re being exploited. If you’ve ever sent him anything risqué, he’s probably shown others. He had the balls to tell *YOU* to chill after all this? Please leave him before you experience some real shame. ######

I'm 19, living with my parents. I have a small part time job that gets me around $800 a month, I give my parents $400 a month for bills, food and miscellaneous things around the house. I pay for my car registration, fuel and any other bills that directly involve me. I try and save as much as I can, and they know that I have a savings account. My parents are now asking that I contribute more money every month. I told them that I already give them half of the money I get, but they say that I shouldn't be saving up when the money could be used. I don't mind giving them the amount I already give them, but I don't feel like I am willing to give up more than 50% of my wage. Edit: * I am currently attending university. ######

NTA You’re already giving them half of everything you get, plus paying for your own things. You can’t be saving much. Your parents should WANT you to save. You’ll need money for emergencies or just things you want. Plus funds to move out of their home one day. ######

So, where I live, the one exam which determines if you can go to university will be taken in a few days. I collected every worksheet, every texts, judt everything over the last 3 years bc the teachers said this could all be important for this particular exam. I gave my friends permission to use everything I collected to prepare, but now everyone wants a piece from the cake. Normally I don‘t have a problem with this, but 3 people, who bullied me over my sexuality and my appearance in the past, now also want access to it. AITA For refusing to give them access? ######

NTA You've taken the last three years seriously and worked hard for this test so you can plan your future. Whom you let in to share your work with and whom is privy to your dedication to your education is completely up to you. You had the same opportunity as your friends and foes to prep for this final so there's no excuse for their lack of material. You're giving your friends a valuable gift by allowing them access to your work, you should decide whom your gifts are bestowed to. And there's no need to feel guilty about not sharing it with just anyone; after all, if the table was turned would they have been so willing to hand over their hard work to you? Opportunity comes to those willing to wait for it, you did and now you'll have the opportunity to get a higher education. Shame they didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel as you have. Best of luck with your college choices! ######

So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her. Me: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable. Mum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too Me: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone Mum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that! so whaddya think? AITA? ######

NTA You've explained to your mother that her coming in during your showers makes you uncomfortable and she should respect that. I've seen from responses to other comments that your showers aren't excessively long and there's another bathroom if she's desperate so there's really no reason for her to be coming in. ######

Hello Reddit, cutting straight to the point I had twin babies last September, a boy and a girl. Me and my boyfriend had a babygirl 3 years prior. Neither of us are religious but his family sees baptism as a part of culture and family tradition, so we agreed to please them this way. After all, we currently live in France and after I finish university we will probably go to Turkey, my homeland, and I want them to have a connection with both their cultures and this is a part of it. When my oldest was born, her grandmother said that they would like her aunt to be her godmother and I didn’t give much taught to it. She also named the baby but I shrugged cause I really liked the name and it fit her perfectly. (She named her Aurore, which means dawn in french and she has red hair!) But after the twins were born I really wanted my two best friends to be their godmothers. As I said I’m not religious, but if I can still honor my best friends who have always been in my life (one since the age of 6 and the other 15) and who will probably be in theirs as well, I would like them to have the title, not some in-law that I don’t know. We also named the kids with my bf (Selene and Helios, which mean sun and moon, so I think the three pair together perfectly) My bf’s mother was very frustrated and said that she would like her other twin daughters to be my twins’ godmothers, and she had already started sewing their dresses. AITA? I know baptism means a lot more to her than me, but they are my kids and I want to choose who to honor and be a second mom to them. ######

NTA You're right - they are your kids and you do what you wish in this regard. MIL has no say in it. At all. ​ EDIT: Looks like you're not married. If that's so, she's not even your mother in law so she has even less say in what you do with your kids (not that the inlaws should have any say anyway...) ######

Basically, I accidentally knocked my friend’s appliance off the kitchen counter, shattering it. I told him I would order a new one, no problem. But now he’s saying he’d rather have the cash. Only problem is he’s insisting on $40 more than the price I’d pay on amazon for the exact same make and model. WIBTA if I said it’s either I order it or I give the amazon price in cash, not anything more? ######

NTA You're responsible for the value of the item that you broke. Any"upgrades" are on him. ######

My husband is working from home, I’m a stay at home mom, although I do freelance graphic design. At work, my husband had a secretary/assistant(he flip flops on what he calls her) that he apparently relies on very heavily. Because when he started working from home he started asking me to write things down for him, remind him to call people, he even asked me to cancel a meeting for him(I don’t actually even have the ability to do that). He asks me to send emails for him(also can’t do that). Our son is home and I’m homeschooling him, and also having to keep him entertained during the day, and while that’s not a full time job, it would prevent me from doing all the things my husband asks for even if I wanted to. I figured he was just having trouble adjusting and just continued his natural work flow, which happened to end up with him asking me to do things. But he never stopped so last week I asked him to stop asking me to do things. Today I sat him down and had a longer conversation that half the things he asks are not possible for me to do, and I don’t like feeling like his assistant, so I want him to stop. He got annoyed and asked if I could just do the simple ones, and it’s only fair. I don’t understand what would be fair about it, but then he said he had a meeting and walked away. AITA? ######

NTA You're not his secretary. If he needs one in order to be able to work then I'm sure his secretary is so working from home. It's his job / his employers job to make sure he and they have the capacity to work....so they should provide the software to enable them to communicate easily... You still have all your usual motherly duties - it's not your responsibility or role to carry out work he / his staff are PAID to do ######

To cut a long story short, I made a bit of a fuck up and thought I had approval to do overtime so I ended up doing an extra 70+ hours of work last month on top of my regulars. Unfortunately, I have not been paid these hours and didn't have approval for paid overtime and my manager has said there isn't anything they can do. I'm a little miffed at this. So, I have decided to steal back the 7+ days of extra work I've undertaken by taking longer breaks, internet browsing and finishing early and starting late. It's not like they keep track of it anyway. Am I an asshole for that? (also in my country they only have to honour the hours if total worked puts you under minimum wage, sadly it only sadly falls short of that criteria) ######

NTA You're not from the US it seems so my initial thoughts are not valid here. If you are paid a fixed rate and the company expects you to work more for no extra pay, then I see no reason to not work less to make up for it. Just don't get caught. ######

so my younger sister (11) has a habit of stealing from people. if anything goes missing, the chance of you finding it in my sister's room is 80%. i have this red jumper that i love and i didn't get it back from the wash. i knew it had been washed because it saw it on the line outside. i had a hunch it was my sister who had taken it. she went with my mum to walk the dog and while they were gone, i raided her room and found not only my jumper, but an entire box of stuff she had stolen from me including my inhalers which i need for my asthma. i was furious and took a few pictures and took the box back to my room. i'll admit, i was a little sloppy and had left some signs that i had been in there so when my sister came back, she was upset. i told her not to take my stuff again and she began to cry because i had 'invaded her privacy'. my mum is on both sides, saying i should have asked her about my jumper (which i do. when things go missing, i ask my sister if she's seen them and she says no) but my stepdad is on my sister's side. AITA?? ######

NTA You're not an official government agency lol. You don't need a warrant. It's not like you were reading her diary or anything. You were retrieving your property. Also, it sounds like your sister might need some counseling. If this continues, it'll be big trouble later in life. ######

My brother and I are very close. When we need advice or just to talk we turn to each other for support. Same with my sister. My brother married his wife in April of 2019 and have begun trying to have a baby. My brother called me yesterday and told me that they went to see her doctor and he told them that they should not try to have a biological child. My SIL takes medications that would most likely cause severe birth defects and unfortunately it is too dangerous to take her off the meds because it may kill her. Obviously we were, and are heartbroken for them. My brother would be an awesome father and he loves my kids like crazy. I told him that it was not the end of the world and that they could always adopt or foster a child. He then told me that they were going to try anyway, despite the doctor telling them both that this was not a good idea because of all the risks. I got very angry with him and told him they were both being extremely selfish. That even if they were able to conceive the risk of having a child with severe birth defects that may cause them to require constant care or possibly pass away at birth was ludicrous. He said that I wasn’t a doctor and didn’t know what I am talking about; and he’s right. I’m not a doctor, but I do know that I would be so heartbroken for them and for their child if something were to happen. He says that I wouldn’t understand since I have children, but I do. My second child has permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at birth. My delivery was complicated and we both almost died. My son will always have developmental delays and I will never forgive myself for it, even though I did nothing wrong nor did the doctors. My sister and mother completely agree with me that what they are doing is terrible. However, my SILs family has been calling and messaging me and calling me terrible names. I only told my brother the truth because he asked. So AITA for telling him the truth? ######

NTA You're not a doctor, however a doctor advised them of exactly the same thing. It's such a big risk they're taking, that it becomes such a selfish one. ######

So for contexts I(26f) watch this elder lady(81f) while her son and daughter in law are at work So they have a pool that is fenced off so unless you go threw the house or the back gate you can’t get it it. Well while I was watching her these kids came up and asked to go swim and I told them no as I didn’t want to watch them swim and try to keep an eye on the person I’m being paid to watch. Well the mom came over and told me that they had permission to swim whenever they wanted as long as someone was home( the kids were maybe 10 and 14) but the home owners never told me of this so I told the mother that I couldn’t watch the kids. Well the next day as I was telling the homeowners what happened the day before she told me I was ruining her relationship with her neighbors and I should of just let the kids going swimming. I’m paid to watch the older lady not the kids and if anything were to happen I know I would be held responsible. ######

NTA You're not "ruining" anything. It was a misunderstanding and that should have solved the problem, full stop. That said, "someone" being home should not be broadly defined to also include "lady we pay to watch Mom." The idea that "someone" needs to be home suggests that the "someone" will have some kind of responsibility. Otherwise, the kids would also be allowed to swim when no one is home. If you are not comfortable with the kids coming over to swim without their own parent on your "watch", tell your employer. They can accept it or replace you. But God forbid something happens while you're inside and you get blamed b/c "well, you should have blah blah blah..." ######

I've recently been having some dental problems like pain and black spots on my gums and teeth pain, it's been going on for a few months and I've brought it up with my parents and asked if I could go to a dentist. They've repeatedly pushed it back saying I'll be alright in some time, but when I do bring it back it up they say the same thing as if I haven't told them before. I understand that dentists are expensive (where I live), and I'm not covered under health insurance either (since we're not citizens). I get that seeing a dentist can become very expensive but these pains have really been starting to get worse and I'm asking for dentists more and more. Would I be the asshole if I just told my parents to just take me to a dentist already? For context, we are by no means poor, but my parents did grow up in a country without many dentists so they were raised with the belief that dental problems aren't that big of a deal and that it'll resolve itself. ######

NTA You're in pain, and they should care about that. More than that though, the longer you leave it the worse it could get. Which, if cost is their main concern, could quite easily drive up the price they eventually have to pay. While also doing more damage to your health. ######

My kid’s birthday was in the middle of February and his father, who lives states away didn’t send anything. Every time they were on the phone before my son’s birthday, his father said he had the present and was going to mail it, when it was closer to the birthday, he claimed he mailed it. Then after my son’s birthday, he made several excuses then said he’ll mail it or would say “it’ll be there in a few days.” It honestly made me sad and irritated seeing how sad my son was after each phone conversation. One of the excuses he told our son was that he has 4 dogs to take care of and doesn’t have time to mail the gift... who says that to their own child?! Anyway I bought my son a gift had it mailed directly to my home and said it was from his dad. He was so excited and wants to call his dad. I sent his dad a text to go with the flow but instead he’s mad and giving me more excuses as to why he didn’t send a gift. I explained to him that our kid is extremely intelligent emotionally and every time he lied about sending a present it hurt our son and is causing him to no longer want to talk on the phone. So AITA in this scenario? ######

NTA You're going above and beyond to make sure your kid has a good relationship with his father. The father should be grateful and not getting mad at you. He's the asshole in this situation. Who doesn't have time to mail a gift? ######

My boyfriend \[29M\] and I \[23F\] have been together for 4 months but known each other a few years. He earns roughly double what I do and lives in a nice apartment by himself, I have a nice enough apartment with 2 housemates. His apartment is a lot closer to our respective workplaces than mine and as a result of this we've always tended to spend more time at his place. Last night he was in a fairly irritable mood anyway, then later on in the evening he suddenly told me rent is due next week and I need to transfer him half. This really took me aback as although we have briefly discussed moving in together in the past we've never spoken about me moving into his place or paying him rent. I thought it was an unspoken understanding that I absolutely **cannot** afford half his rent and so if we were to move in together we'd both have to move. I thought about it and I admit I have been back to my own place only twice in the past two weeks but I've never received any impression from him that I've overstayed my welcome, and we've hung out together in that time when we're not working. In the past when he's mentioned he's having friends over I've stayed away unless he's invited me into those plans. Also, I do the majority of the cooking for us and tend to buy the groceries for that, and we take it in turns paying for dates but he probably does pay more in total. I just kept quiet when he mentioned it last night (it was already pretty late so I didn't go home) as he was already in a bad mood and I felt like he was pushing for an argument, then I went back to my own place after work today. I realise that he obviously feels that I have overstepped a boundary in the amount of time I've spent at his but I honestly did not realise before now. AITA for not feeling like I should have to pay half his rent this month? This is the first I've heard of the issue, and also I would *really* struggle to do so. ######

NTA You're already paying rent for a place. You cannot stop paying rent there. Isn't it totally normal to spend a bunch of time in the early days at one or the other person's place? Four months is those early days. Even if it weren't a question of your inability to afford two rents, it's a weird thing to ask for rent in that situation. Especially as you seem to have taken on much of the daily chores/purchases for the time you're there. You are going to have to sit down and talk about both of your perceptions and expectations and the reality of your finances and how that's going to affect both of you going forward in where you live and what kind of lifestyle you have. You do NOT owe him rent for any past visits. No freaking way. But sort this out now. ######

I’m an Indian woman (21) who was born and currently living in Australia. I have a younger brother (18) who is severely disabled and requires 24/7 care. My father is in my opinion incredibly controlling. Everything I do needs to be run past him, he approves who I’m friends with, he controls when and why I leave the house. He has also chosen my career for me, Medicine. My father has also expressed to me that when I’m allowed to date in two years that I will have to consult with him first about the boy I want to go on a date with, and he obviously has the typical restrictions that any Indian parents would. Also regarding my future he told me that I’ll be allowed to move out once I’m married, and that he along with my mum and brother will live in a granny flat behind I house I live in with my future husband. To all of this I think its incredibly unfair that he’s dictating every aspect of my life, I obviously do want to take care of my brother and my parents but I can’t deal with my father constantly using him to guilt me into doing everything he wants. I’ve considered moving out now, I have good savings and would be able to take care of myself, but I know my father would stop me from being able to contact my mum and brother. And i’m worried that I’d be affecting my brothers future if I leave them. I want to take care of my brother, I love him more than anyone else in this world. And I want him to live with me for the rest of our lives so I can take of him and give him a good life. But I selfishly want some life choices to be my own. WIBTA if I move out of home potentially causing my father to stop contact between my and my brother, jeopardising his future? TLDR: I have a controlling father, who will cut contact with my and prevent me from seeing my disabled brother if I move out. WIBTA If I do? ######

NTA You wouldn’t be ruining your brother’s future. Your father would be. Just like he’s ruining your future by controlling everything you do. Holy shit girl, your home life sounds horrible. Run away right now. You are entitled to happiness and freedom. ######

( On a throw-away account because she has my main account) So my girlfriend has been talking about moving into her apartment for about a year now. I've thought about it and I don't think it's a good idea because she doesn't have a bathtub I have a health issue that causes me a lot of pain. Pain that I've discovered can be soothed by hot baths and a medical bubble bath. I of course can also take medicine that helps but the one prescribed for me to take when I'm in pain makes me feel all woozy for the rest of the day, which is not ideal when I have things to do. I specifically moved into an apartment with a bath that I currently share with a roommate. My roommate recently decided to move when our lease ends, which is making my girlfriend even more insistent about me moving in with her I've told her my concerns and why, and suggested she move onto my lease if she wants to live together or that we could find a new place with a bath. She refuses and is calling me selfish for not moving in with her just because her apartment 'isnt't nice enough for me' It's gotten so bad that every time we text or call, she starts arguing about it and I'm afraid this is going to kill the relationship. I don't want the reason that I lose someone to be that she doesn't have a bath tub in her home. Am I being selfish for refusing to move into her apartment? Am I the A-hole for not just giving in so that I can be with her? ######

NTA You wouldn't be breaking up over a bath, you'd be breaking up over her not supporting you in accessing something that helps your medical condition, when she easily could. Even if your apartment is terrible and she for whatever reason can't live there, then you try to find a new place that had a bath, like you suggested. ######

When I (40M) was with my ex (45F) she had a 5month old, I met her daughter 7 months into the relationship, we were living together within 8months of dating. My exs daughters father wasnt around. I was with my ex for 10 years before our firstborn and then 4months after our firstborn she was pregnant again, we have two daughters. We dated for another 3 years and about four years ago we broke up because she had been cheating and had gotten pregnant, a nice way to find out! My exs daughter texted me a week ago and asked to move in with me, her mother is pregnant and obviously as the eldest she is expected to help out more and is having the brunt of her mothers frustration taken out on her. I said of course, she's capable of making her own decisions now, but not to rush such a heavy decision because I live several hours away so she wouldn't just be able to pop down the road to see her mother and siblings. I've since been getting spammed by her mother and her mothers partner telling me I was an AH for getting involved when she's not my daughter and for allowing her to rush off instead of solving her problems. My partner agrees maybe I overstepped AITA? ######

NTA You were in this girl's life for years. You opened your door to someone in need. This is a very nice thing to do. ######

Throwaway on my friend’s account. So I (26F) have a sister (22F) who I’ll refer to as Lily. When I was 17 and my sister was 13, our father passed away and we were left with a pretty big sum of money each that would cover university, rent, groceries and the down payment of our future house (we were given the same amount each). My mother split our money into separate bank accounts (one for tuition, one for rent etc) so that we could stay organized. We only had access to the tuition money and grocery money as our mother helped us pay for rent (she would give us the money for a house when we get there in the future). The second Lily reached 20 years old, she blew two semesters worth of payment on lots of cosmetic procedures like braces, double eyelid surgery, lip fillers and lash extensions. Last two semesters when she couldn’t pay she asked me to. I asked her where her money went and she said she got cosmetic procedures (I haven’t seen her in two years so I didn’t know). I straight up told her no because cosmetic procedures were a want and not a need so she is responsible for wasting it. She went crazy telling me how I hit the genetic lottery and how I had a perfect face that never needed fixing (I had straight teeth without braces, long lashes and double eye lids) She went on a whole rant on how I never felt her pain. I felt bad so I offered to lend her money but she would have to pay me back later(no interest fee). She got even more mad and started yelling at me and calling me selfish and that I had a job and could easily help her but choose not to. I repeated that I could lend her money but she wouldn’t listen and wanted me to pay for her. AITA? ######

NTA You were both given the exact same opportunities with the money given. You used yours as intended and she wasted hers. That’s her choice. Not she needs financial aid / student loans to finish school. That’s entirely her fault. She made her bed, now she has to lay in it. ######

I am not English so sorry for any mistakes or missunderstandings ahead of time. I am 27M if that is relevant and the woman was in her early 20's. 2 days ago on Saturday I woke up at like 2 AM(So technically sunday morning I guess) by what I can only describe as weird moans outside my window. When I looked outside there was a young woman rolling around in my front yard so I figured she must have been hit by a car or something and ran outside to help. Nope, she was drunk, like really fucking drunk, weird noises, puking, halfnaked it was pretty damn disgusting to be honest. So I tried to communicate with her and after like 5 minutes she literally tossed her phone in my general direction afterwhich I used her finger to unlock it and called someone marked as "Sister". After several tries she answered with as extremely pissed of voice(2 AM so makes sense lol) Well I explained the situation and she told me she'd be like 20 minutes and to take her sister inside and put her on the couch or something. I said no because I am not putting someone who is literally laying in her own puke on my couch. Well after like 15 minutes of me trying to give this girl coffee without her spilling it allover herself her sister arrived and immefiatly begun yelling at me for "Not helping her sister" and "Being an asshole for not putting her inside and cleaning her up asnow her car will be ruined." I was pretty damn stunned but I got a bit of a temper myself(Mom is Serbian lol) and told her to take her sister and get the F out of here before I call the police on her sorry ass for trespassing, flipped her off and walked back inside. Now I was pretty sure I was not TA but when I told my girlfriend on the phone the next day she said I was because the girl might have been freezing outside and that it was dangerous to not take her inside. So now I am confused, was I TA? ######

NTA You went WAY above and beyond as it is. I wouldn't want a drunk stranger in my house, and if I was super drunk and a stranger came outside and brought me into their home I would be TERRIFIED!!! ######

A few weeks ago I (M16) took the online AP Physics 1 test, at home due to quarantine. My parents were both out at the time. While I was in the middle of the test, around the start of it, my brother (M19) decided to go into a room across the hallway and play a video of rock guitar music at full blast even though I made sure to remind everyone that I would be taking a test today. With a raised voice, I asked, “Can you turn it down?” And he doesn’t respond. I then ask yelling, “Please, turn it down!” And he says, “Shut up, I’m already in another room!” And then I say, “(brother’s name) FUCKING TURN IT DOWN! PLEASE!” And he doesn’t. I’m sitting in front of my computer with the timer still ticking and on top of being stressed and nervous from the test, I am agitated from my brother not listening to me, distracted by the loud guitar music, and increasingly agitated by the situation and the music a constant reminder of my brother not giving a fuck. After the test is done I’m more relieved than angry that the test is done, I’m in shock but glad that it’s over with. I chose not to confront him about it. Later that day he happily showed me the video he was watching, Tender Surrender by Steve Vai. I remarked on how that video was more important to him than my test (also silently judging him) but I was too tired to get angry. He shrugs it off, and I’m annoyed that he doesn’t apologize or show remorse. Fast forward to two days ago I got the test results and I failed the physics test. I told my brother, “remember when I was taking an AP test and you were playing that loudass guitar music and asked you to turn it down? I failed that test and I hope you’re happy.” Later that day I tell my dad about it (imagine Candice tattletaling style ig) while my brother is in the room. My brother says that I’m whining and bitching and that it’s not his fault that I’m stupid and retarded. AITA? ######

NTA You told your family you had your AP exam that day, and I'm assuming beforehand as well. Your brother was TA for being selfish and still blasting music when he knew you had an exam. You had every right to be angry that you failed because you couldn't focus from his loud music and you telling your dad was the right thing to do. ######

Using a throwaway. Short one for you guys. My sister has kids and they are lovely. I love being an aunt. I see them twice a month and try to keep up with what they do. However, my partner and I don’t personally want kids of our own. We are childfree and instead to stay so. My sister is really disappointed by this and keeps hinting I’ll change my mind. She points out how good I am with her kids, and she says that once we have kids we’ll realize how incomplete our life is without them. I keep telling her it’s not going to happen, yet she keeps trying to convince me. Finally, last weekend, we had a Skype call with her family and after her kids got off the call, she said they asked when they would have a cousin. I tried to reiterate that we don’t want kids, but then she decided to ask her patented question of “but what if you got pregnant by accident?” She always asks this like it’s some trump card because I usually say we’ll cross that bridge if that happens. But today I was just super done with the conversation and I snapped “I’d abort the baby and you’d never know if you had a niece or nephew.” Let’s just say, the call ended with her telling me I’d hurt her deeply and that we wouldn’t be talking for a while. I don’t really know if I was an asshole. I know she is prolife so that answer obviously hurt her a lot. But I just wanted her to stop bringing up that point like it was a gotcha because I would have an abortion if I got accidentally pregnant. It’s just that, I never would have told her about it. AITA? ######

NTA You told her multiple times you decision. She didn’t respect that decision so you told her again in a blunt way. Your choice not her’s. ######

Kind of a long one. Just moved into an apartment it's barely been two months. Way it's set up is the downstairs part is rented to an old lady, the upstairs part is a three bedroom space that's perfect for my family. Recently just moved in after moving to a whole different state. The old lady has had a problem with us since before we hadn't even moved in. When we just came to the house to see it with a friend, she approached the friend and was extremely haughty and wanted to know exactly who we were and weird things like that, like we were "suspicious". Now that we have moved in she is constantly complaining to management and has made the prime complaint my kids, 5 and 3. The older child is autistic, and while he understands most things, he's non verbal and a little hard to control and I'm trying my best. The old lady keeps calling management on us because he's "running" and "jumping" upstairs and she can't ever "rest" and it's so loud and hard for her. She wants me to control my kids and I am trying my best, but I can't put them on a leash or shut them inside a room. She keeps treating us like we're hostile and suspicious, while zoning on my kids doing completely normal kid things and I've tried to take them out, or have them play at their aunts house sometimes but nothing is enough for her. Management was also kind of iffed out at her constant complaints but to appease her, they offered to give us a downstairs area in a different house. That would not work out for us, since we need 3 bedrooms and downstairs units only have 2. They then offered a townhouse all to us but the rent is way, WAY higher and we can't afford that at the moment. I feel like an asshole for constantly refusing to move out because she IS an old lady, no matter how she treats us, and if she is really that disturbed I want to do something to help but I can't move out and she's complaining about how we won't leave. AITA? ######

NTA You signed a lease for that space, it's yours. But, there's a message in their continued desire to help relocate you. You'd be taking a risk by not working with them, bc they probably will not renew if you do not, so all you're doing now is delaying the inevitable until the lease ends. ######

Ok, backstory here I am 14 F. My mom is 40F and my aunt and uncle are both in their late 40’s. They have been in our house for the past two months because they felt “confined” in their apartment. Ever since they moved in, it’s been hell. And since my mom works really late (8pm) it’s easy for them to hide it. They control my daily routines, meaning I have to do everything at the same times as them. Breakfast at 6 am, lunch at 12 pm, dinner at 7 pm, bed by 8. I do not follow the bedtime, btw lmao. They constantly kick me off my Xbox so their TV ‘works better’, despite the fact that the tv works the same either way, I’ve tested it. They get mad whenever I make noise. They make me sleep in the guest bedroom because my bed is better and then guests deserve the best’ They have taken my phone away before, and then slipped it under my door right before my mom walked in the door. I told my mom about all these shitty behaviors and she told them off but they continued doing it. I told her that if she doesn’t get them to stop or kick them out, I will move in with one of my friends who is willing to let me. I don’t know if that’s too far, but I’m not living with that any longer. AITA, Reddit? ######

NTA You shouldn’t be getting treated like that in your own home. You especially shouldnt have to give up your bedroom just because they like it better. The TVs being on at the same time wouldn’t affect each other, especially if they are not both using the satellite/cable connection at the same time. ######

Back story: My 13 year old sister suffers with anxiety and wants my mother to drive her around for hours. We were sharing a car that I bought, the mileage was rapidly increasing, I had to rely on my mother to pick me up as she always had the car. I cut my losses, gave my mother the car and purchased a new car. Present issue: break light on mother’s car is out and have been like this since March. She’s now using my car to drive my sister around for hours a day. It’s an old car and I’ve asked her not to drive it around this way. They’re messy and leave food and rubbish in there, which I feel is disrespectful. I’ll need it for travelling to college everyday in September and I’m worried all the unnecessary driving will cause damage that I can’t repair. When I do need the car, the petrol is below empty, so I need to fill it up for them to just blow through it again. Mother and sister have been out all day again because my sister is crying and anxious. I empathise with her because I also suffer with anxiety. However, I don’t feel that driving around for hours is going to help her. My mother constantly moans how she cannot cope with driving around all day, yet is doing just that. I’ve had stern words with my mother today due to her driving my car around again after I’ve filled the petrol tank and after I emphasise yesterday and this morning to please not drive it around. She’s offered to put £10 of petrol in, which is not even half of what they’re using. My mother is furious and I’ve had shitty text messages off my sister. I feel guilty because I know my sister is struggling and once again I’m the bad person for standing my ground. On the other hand I’m so frustrated because I’m not being respected or even listened to. Am I being the asshole in this situation? ######

NTA You should not let your mom have keys to your car. If all that's wrong with her car is a break light those are extremely easy to replace yourself. Your mother is only enabling your sisters Horrible coping mechanism and not helping her. ######

My husband has been pissed at me for 2 days over this and I’m starting to wonder if I’m really in the wrong. My family is close friends with our neighbors, especially the wife and I. We talk pretty much every day and she’s been a huge support to me since we moved far away from our family last year. We talk about everything and have both given each other some good advice in the past. Recently she’s been having some issues with her husband. Two days ago she came over while my husband and I were just sitting in the living room talking (I was folding laundry if it matters) and asked if she could talk to me. He was on his way out to grab dinner so it seemed to be a good time. The kids were outside playing and it was like the stars aligned to give us a good 20 minutes of quiet to talk. She was upset. We talked for a bit and she calmed down. He came back, we had dinner with our kids and the evening went on as normal. Late that night we were in bed watching TV and he asked...so what was that all about? To me, what we talked about was private, especially because our husbands are friends and are very much alike. I gave him the readers digest condensed version and said “she’s just feeling really overwhelmed right now and needed to vent”, which was completely true. Apparently that was wrong. He wanted to know the entire conversation and I don’t think I had to give it to him. He accused me of “keeping secrets”, me dropping everything (laundry?) to run to her and that “we (as in him and I) always talk about the latest gossip”, which we do when it’s silly little things that we mostly laugh about. To me, this wasn’t gossip. It was my friend hurting and needing to talk privately. He’s been giving me the cold shoulder since then. AITA for not disclosing the details of this conversation to him? ######

NTA You should keep the confidence of your friend. She probably needs to have someone to talk to without it getting shared. Especially since your husband knows her husband. ######

Alright so. Within the span of a few months of moving into our new house, with a generous three toilets for each family member, my mother has clogged her own toilet. And refused to unclog it. Or even make an attempt. She insists it's too far gone for her to deal with, but refuses to accept any help in fixing it, mine or a professional's. Instead, she's been using my toilet. And clogging it. And then leaving it for me to find. Today, at a wonderous 1:30 A.M, I attempted to use my toilet. Only to be abruptly snapped out of my sleepy daze when I felt toilet water rise and brush my asschecks. This is the fifth time she has done this and left it unattended for me to find, usually at some ungodly hour of the morning, not to mention stomping in and out of my room unannounced at all hours to use my toilet. So, out of anger, I stomped into her room unannounced and had a pretty heated argument with her. She said she felt humiliated about clogging the toilet. I said she should grow up (which might have been a bit uncalled for, especially considering the hour.) She tried to insist I should just go downstairs and use my dad's toilet. Which he never cleans. And he cannot aim. There are sticky piss puddles down there. The cat's litterbox is in there too. It reeks. I told her she picked a man who can't aim his own piss and if she needs to shit so bad she should be the one braving his pig-sty. She's been telling all her friends about how I humiliated her in the middle of the night/berated her/etcetra as well as going on her guilt-trippy rants about how she's ""Apparently such a pig, wah wah wah, my son doesn't love me."" Despite me never having said anything of that sort. I just want to be able to pee without worrying about my mother's feces gently caressing my butthole I'm aware this is really, really petty but quarantine has driven me insane, especially since my mother and father and I have such different views on what's considered clean. ######

NTA You should have stomped in her room and screamed “who RAISED you to live like this?!” Your mother isn’t embarrassed, she is in denial about her shit problem. OP, buy your mom a poop knife and call it a day. ######

I (F 15)come from a very conservative family who 100% believes you should be married before sex. I am a sucker for approval and I respect my parents so am still a virgin. My boyfriend (M 17)is not, and he has been pressuring me to sleep with him. I have repeatedly told him no, and one day he explodes saying that I should be fine with it because I was born out of wedlock and that if I’m going to lead him on he doesn’t want me. I started to try and defend my actions but I got choked up and couldn’t really manage to say anything. He then left in a rage while muttering about me being an ungrateful prude. I really love him but I don’t want to go against my beliefs to please him but I’m afraid he’s going to leave me. I know if I sleep with him my parents will never forgive me, but if I don’t he will leave. AITA for refusing to have sex with him? Edit- age/gender clarity Edit2-WOW this entire thread is really supportive and full of advice. I feel like I was almost hoping I would be told that I was TA because I wouldn’t have felt like he deserved to be broken up with. I really don’t want to leave him and we have been together so long but the thread is kind of opening my eyes to other manipulative behavior of his. (constantly asking where I am, being jealous of my guy friends/ not letting me hang out with them, threatening to leave or and tell everyone I know including my family that I am a slut, etc.) I’m scared to break up with him because I do love him but I guess I’ll just wait until he leaves me to be safe? Thanks for the support! ######

NTA You should have sex because *you're* excited to have sex, and if somebody doesn't want to date you because they want sex and you don't, then you should wish them well and let them go. The fact that he called you an "ungrateful prude," suggests, strongly, that you're better off without him. Don't be so afraid of him leaving you. Honestly, the fact that he would behave in that way should be disqualifying - it should make clear that you're not going to have sex. Honestly, you absolutely MUST NOT have sex with him out of a sense of obligation or our of fear of his rage or rejection. How old are you both? That being said, there's only one caveat here, which is that I'm not completely sure what's *your* belief system and what is your parents? ######

This story starts around February 2020, So class finished and i told him how i felt about him. I didn’t realize that his friends were watching me from the back of the class. I think i embarrassed him and he yelled at me saying something along the lines of, “eww no.” Later that day i got barrage of texts from him, “How could you think i would go out with you?” “You have medium length hair and are short, Also you should hit the gym.” I was near devastated. See the problem wasn't that he wasn’t wrong as I know I could be more athletic and I am quite short. I was feeling really sad so i screenshotted the convo and sent it to my friend, asking her how to cope with it. She and I talked a lot about relationships and stuff. Later that week she told a bunch of other people how my crush “ridiculed” me because i asked him out. The news spread around my friend circles and his friend circles so fast. Almost everyone in our grade knew about what had happened. I got some more texts from him about how i ruined most of his friendships and how i’m a terrible person. I started to think that i might have actually ruined his personal life. A bunch of his friends started taking my side, and i just feel bad about it. His friends keep telling me it’s not my fault and i didn’t do anything wrong but I feel like i did. So reddit AITA? ######

NTA You shared the screenshot and had a private conversation with a friend. That friend is in the wrong here. She had no business sharing the information you shared with him/her. Also he did it to himself. He was the one who was a jerk. Your friend shouldn’t have shared what you told her in confidence but it’s not like you were spreading lies about your crush. ######

For reference I’m black and he’s white. A couple weeks ago I confronted an acquaintance (we’ll call him M) of mine over his constant use of the n word. In the past I would just ignore because he’s a friend of a good friend of mine and we never hung out much, except occasionally with our mutual friend. He would say things like “Look what these n****s are doing over there.” and “This n**** is getting on my nerves.” or “My n****!”. No one else really had a problem with it and I didn’t want to be that one person who bitches over everything so I would usually just let it slide, even though it really bothered me. Well, that is, until a couple weeks ago. My friend was throwing a get together and M was there. He was playing a video game against someone and he lost. He yelled out “Fucking n****r!”. I got really mad and screamed : “You don’t just get to say that. You’ve constantly said that in the past and I’ve never said anything before, but now you’re really pushing it. I don’t know who told you it was okay to say it. Don’t ever fucking say that word again.” The room got really quiet and everyone was staring at me weirdly. I got my bag and left to go home. So, AITA? ######

NTA You say a racial slur, especially around someone who's black, and you deserve whatever happens next. ######

AITA For Yelling at a Trans Coworker? I (22F) have been working at a clinic with Samantha (25F) for the past few months. Recently, Samantha came out to me as a Trans woman (male to female for anyone unaware), and has been super close to me ever since. I don’t have any problems being friends with her, and can understand some of her struggles, but her being Trans isn’t what bothers me. What bothers me is that, ever since she came out to me, she’s gotten very touchy. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. Because of that, I have an aversion to touch. Unless I trust and know you, I don’t want your physical affection. To me, being touched by people is the equivalent to having bugs crawl up your arms. Sometimes, it makes me want to vomit. **I. Don’t. Like. Being. Touched.** That being said, what Samantha does isn’t exactly bad. She’ll play with my hair, rest her head on top of mine, and just touches me around the head/face area. I guess these are normal behaviors between girls, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told her several times to stop and that I don’t like it. She just keeps touching me. Today, she was playing with my ponytail without my permission (again), and I initially told her to stop, to which she replied jokingly, “What are you going to do about it?” I got so mad, I ended up shouting, “Stop touching me, or I’m going to have a fucking panic attack!” She looked really hurt and dejected after I yelled at her, and just left without saying anything. I know the only reason she feels so comfortable with me is because she knows I’m also LGBT, the only other coworker that is, on top of being the only other female that works there, and that may make her feel safe or give her a sense of belonging. Or maybe other girls were fine with this in the past or it seems like normal social behavior. I don’t know. I just hate being touched. TL:dr: I snapped at a Trans Coworker for touching my hair, and her feelings got hurt. AITA? ######

NTA You said "please don't touch me" Co-worker continued to touch ~~me~~ you I'd be upset too, if I were you! ######

So I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years and have gotten pretty good. I figured I would save up some money and treat myself to a nice one after using a $150 craigslist buy for awhile. So i bought myself a $1300 epiphone jumbo size acoustic/electric. It has an electric tuner and stuff and had 2 amp ports but is still acoustic. My friend has been wanting to learn for awhile and hes just been using the one I had to teach him and practice and stuff. When he found out I spent a large amount of money on a really nice guitar he was really angry, saying I should have spent the money on two mid range guitars for the both of us and was selfish for thinking of me and not him. AITA Here? ######

NTA You offered the guy a free guitar and he thinks you should have spent $500-600 of your own money on a new guitar for him. He's got issues. My husband has a couple higher end nice guitars and a couple cheap (but still decent) guitars. The cheap ones make him just as happy to play. If your friend doesn't want your old guitar, keep it and he can buy his own. ######

So two weeks ago, my husband asked my opinion on cosigning a loan for his sister. I told him that honestly, I didn't like the idea at all and to please not do it, for consideration of our financial future. His sister had her last car impounded twice for whatever reasons. The prior one to that, she wrecked and was then sued by the finance company for the remainder of the note. She's constantly asking him for money, all the while she has yet to ever pay him back. She called last week and told me that he had, in fact, cosigned for her. Not only that, but it was a new enough car, she would be getting some sort of rebate check that one of us needed to take to her. I told her if she wanted it, that she was apparently free to drive herself to our house to get it. I then confronted my husband and asked why he did ask my opinion if it didn't matter. His response was to tell me that he thought I would be okay with it, and when I wasn't, he thought I would get over it. AITA for being upset that he completely disregarded how I felt about this whole thing? ######

NTA You need to separate your finances from your husband. He is showing very poor judgement and endangering your financial future. And you need to look into why she needed you guys to help with the rebate check because she has a car now. Either she is not the one driving the car, or that rebate is somehow associated with you or your husband and you need to know that now. ######

Two other friends and I decided to go on a trip this upcoming September to Universal Studios for Halloween Horror Nights. I've never been and have been invited the past two years but couldn't make it due to money reasons. This trip isn't cheap, we'd be staying for a week at a hotel on site, food, plane, and park tickets. All in all we were looking at about 1200.00 usd each. Well i paid for my park tickets and plane ticket back in May when it was looking like the country was lowering the curve of covid-19 and I had faith by September it would be fine by then. Well two months later Florida is the worst state at the moment with no signs of doing anything to make it better. My friends told me that Universal is doing everything right (according to who?) and it would be fine. Well two weeks ago I got a refund on everything I paid for and told the other two on the trip I wasn't going. I could tell they were upset and it just feels like there might be some animosity among them towards me. I feel like an asshole for doing this but I feel like giving them two months to plan for being 1 person down should be enough time if they still decide to go which they probably will. I also think I won't have as much fun as i've heard it was the past few years when they went due to guidelines and restrictions. So AITA? ######

NTA You made the right decision for very valid reasons. We'd be in a better situation if more people were willing to forgo planned vacations like you did. ######

Hello! Longtime listener, first time caller. I (29m) work a property management job that I hate. I have to evict people and we’re in the midst of a pandemic. It’s really soul destroying. I got a message from an old friend that offered me a job once he purchased a new business to oversee two similar stores and run them how I see fit. This would still be considered a small business and, as previously referenced, we are in the middle of hard times. I wanted to make sure that I had some concrete evidence that this was a secure move before I brought it to my fiancé’s (29f) attention, so I asked do profit and loss reports to ascertain if this was a good idea. Turns out the second store net $100k last year in a pretty small town and their sales etc. are doing well this year, in spite of the chaos. At this point I felt comfortable enough to at least put it on my fiancé’s radar. My best friend, my fiancé and I went to a nice dinner last night and I brought it up. She was PISSED. She said that if something like that happened to her, she’d have “called me same day on her lunch break, this just makes her feel like I keep stuff from her” and all this stuff. We have a pretty rigid schedule with our budget as we are trying to buy our first home by the end of next year. This job change would further advance those goals, but knowing how she is about details and thorough questions, I elected to wait until I had enough info to give her and she was not pleased. AITA? ######

NTA You looked into it to see if it was viable before proceeding, there’s literally nothing wrong with that. ######

My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out. Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

NTA You logic is reasonable. If your bio-dad doesn't like it, then tough titties. Your job is not to make everyone happy. Your job is use sound judgement in making decisions. ######

Posting on sisters behalf My sister, let's call her Aly, lives in an apartment building with 2 others, Ava, her sister, and Mia, an acquaintance. The lease expires in June but since Mia has finished school she has opted to move back with her parents while still paying rent. When Mia left (early-April) she left food in the fridge and freezer and has yet to come back and get them, one of the items left in the freezer were frozen burritos, like the kind you pop in the microwave and shame eat at 2-am. Well, Aly and Ava had a few friends over Thursday night, one of which is a really close friend, the really close friend mindlessly went into the freezer and cooked the last two of Mia's burritos without thinking and ate them. Ava and Aly were unaware that their friend ate Mia's Burritos. Then Friday morning Mia came back to the apartment to collect the rest of her things and noticed the Burritos were gone, she then proceeded to throw out ALL of Ava's and Aly's food from the fridge/freezer in retaliation. Aly and Ava were obviously disgruntled and confronted Mia who somehow attempted to justify throwing all their food away. Whos the Asshole ######

NTA You know when someone would eat my food, I'd calmly, sometimes a bit annoyed, request they replace it....Not throw away their food, they might not be able to replace, in a tantrum Mia sounds like a spoiled brat ######

So my ex and I have split our custody with our son. I told him all week that I’d be really sick this weekend and wouldn’t be physically able to take care of our son. Either him or my mother would watch him. I knew I was having a medical abortion towards the weekend (now) and didn’t know how bad it’d be, but also didn’t go into detail that’s what I was doing because I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it and the current pregnancy was from my current partner. Today I’m laying in bed and he comes in saying he finally got a job and starts tomorrow, that I would have to watch the baby. I told him I couldn’t (tomorrow is the day I take the second set of pills to the abortion and I expect a lot of pain) and that I already talked to my mother about her watching him, she said she would. I told him to call her and he was not having it (he hates calling her). After we exchanged a few more words and me finally saying I wanted to be alone because I was feeling sick he yells at me “well it’s not MY fault you went and had an abortion” and I didn’t know how to reply. Fast forward an hour later where I text him and tell him we need space. He asked why and I gave him an explanation- that it really hurt my feelings and I was going through a lot emotionally as is. He then sends me a lengthy text saying that “You are a parent before anything and I need you to please start acting like it. Us being apart will require you to be more active in [sons name] day to day life. So think before doing something that’s gonna make you incapable of helping him. When we have a schedule, it’ll be simpler. Get your shit together and stop blaming everything for what you do to yourself.” Copied and pasted text. I then called him and he told me to stop acting like a teenager and said I was a bad parent. Now I’m laying in bed feeling guilty about letting my mother watch him over the weekend. I feel like I’m wronging my son. AITA???? ######

NTA You knew it was going to happen, you told him and made plans so that your kid would be looked after. "He finally got a job" then he should have made appropriate arrangements with the new job if he knew he was going to be in charge of looking after his kid. Sounds like he should also consider "being a parent before anything" if he's gonna play that card with you. What would he expect if he suddenly got really ill when he was looking after the kid? I'm presuming he would want you to look after him instead. You are not acting like a teenager at all and you are a good parent for trying to make sure your son had appropriate care, and making sure he still does by arranging for him to go to your mothers when your ex dropped the ball and refused to call her to sort it out when he could no longer look after him. ######

So I am a 16 year old male who is half white half Japanese. My dad was scouted to be a English teacher in Japan where he met my mom which they had 2 girls and then moved back to Canada and had me. I have dual citizenship for japan and Canada I can go to either freely. Not counting this year but every march we would spend in japan with my moms family. Today I was in a discord call with people I have never met before and one of them was a straight up otaku (nice way to day weeb) I then said oh you speak Japanese and he said yes so I just rambled off a sentence in Japanese because I was excited it's not every day I get to speak Japanese to people who arent my family. And this guy giggles and says my Japanese "needs some work" which I then told him in Japanese my history with the language which he responded in Japanese with and me being upset about the first comment completely dissected what he said and pointed out all of the flaws in his grammar or structuring. Which he said in English knit pick much? I said I'm only doing what you are doing. Then he went silent and the topic changed. AITA? ######

NTA You just taught that weeb a lesson in Japanese. At least he knows better now. ######

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. When we were getting to know each other I told him that I had no plans of getting married in future. He laughed it off as me being young and he was sure I would change my mind about it. I was 22 back then. He met my family and friends when we started a relationship and whenever anyone would bring up the topic of marriage I'd remind them that I didn't want to get married. We even had a discussion about it on our anniversary and talked about his plans for when we get married. I told him to stop bringing it up and we got into a huge fight about where we were headed. After we calmed down I talked to him about him and told him I was fine with him walking away if our relationship wasn't going to end up in a marriage and he said he wanted to stay and understood me. One of my cousins was celebrating her engagement and threw a small party today which we attended. I was caught off guard when he got on one knee at the party and 'popped the question'. I stood there for what felt like a very long time because I didn't want to say yes and also didn't want to embarass him by saying no. Someone made a joke about me having cold feet already, everyone laughed and my boyfriend got up. I gave him a small smile even though it was so awkward. Now he's mad at me for not saying yes. My cousin and I are very close and I was very happy for her when she told me she'd gotten engaged. We'd been talking over the phone since she's already gone into wedding planning mode and I was excited to be planning the wedding with her. My boyfriend says he saw how happy I was and was convinced I wasn't sure I didn't want to get married and planned this because "I'd realise I actually wanted to get married if someone proposed". I feel really bad for embarassing him and he's said he needs some space from me. I just need some opinions because I feel like such a bad person. Aita? ######

NTA You have told him multiple times that you don't want to get married. If he didn't want to be embarrassed, he shouldn't have proposed in public. ######

I'm 21f and I been with my boyfriend since freshman year of high school. I love my boyfriend and I do see having children and a house. I don't like the idea of marriage. I told my boyfriend this many times. Two weeks ago he proposed in our apartment. I said no and we fought and I went in the guest room. We haven't spoken in two weeks. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA You have the right to not want to marry. But it's best that you two figure out how important getting married or not getting married is to you, and whether it's worth throwing away a relationship over. ######

First up, context: I (29, X) have 2 younger half siblings (21 and 18). I was born when my mother was quite young, and my bio-father was never in the picture. My mom met my adoptive father, who I consider to be my actual father, when I was about 4. They married and my siblings came along. My dad legally adopted me when I was 9. When one of my brothers was really young, he was kind of a dick. I don't say that to be mean, we get along great now, but because we conflicted so much my mom argued that it wasn't a good idea to tell him I was adopted on my dads side, because he'd probably weaponise it in arguments. I was young and thought that made sense, so we didn't tell him. As we got older, my mom has made me lie to my siblings and extended family pretty regularly, about my sexuality (am now out, but it took a while), my work, all kinds of shit. I hate it. We live really far apart and I feel like whenever I see my family I have to spend the whole time balancing lies instead of genuinely building a relationship with my siblings. I've tried to bring this up with my parents, but they blow me off every time. They've been slipping up, too - they've made facebook posts that hint at not having met when I was born, and I'm not on one of my siblings birth certificates either. I want to clear the air and have an open relationship with my brothers, but I know my mom will take it as me going behind her back and it will be a huge, HUGE drama. That said, I think being expected to lie for her all the time is unfair, and that at least one of my siblings is going to be really hurt when he finds out - and there's a lot of things that could lead to him finding out. If he finds out from me, he'll be angry at my parents; from them, he'd be angry at me; if he figures it out himself he'll be furious at all of us. If I went ahead and told them, and explained that my parents wanted me to lie to them, WIBTA? ######

NTA You have the right to live your truth, whether that’s your sexuality, parentage, or whatever else. It’s sounds an awful lot like your mom is ashamed of the situation and is passing that hot potato o to you. Yes, it’ll cause drama, but it’ll blow over. Sit down and tel your parents that you’re coming clean with everything, and make clear that you are not asking for their blessing, but are informing them because you love and respect them. Also, half siblings, whole siblings, it doesn’t matter. Those are your siblings and you all love each other. I’m sure they’ll support you. ######

So my sister was due to get married before the coronavirus struck and closed everything down so her Hen do was planned before hand but I couldn’t go/afford to go due to uni commitments and lack of funds, which she was fine with and understood. Obviously it was cancelled and they’ve ended up rescheduling the wedding in a few months time (current time being 22/07/2020). This means that they’ve had to reschedule the hen do too. This is where an issue comes in. I was removed from the group chat when I said I couldn’t go and haven’t been told anything until a few days ago. They’ve planned the new hen do for the weekend before my birthday and are wanting to know if I can go. However, in this time my partner has been planning a surprise for my birthday for about a month now which so happens to be that weekend, it’s not like it is just another day it’s an important birthday (21st). I don’t tend to celebrate my birthdays because the effort has never been put in for them by anyone but my partner this year is determined to make it special for me. I’ve told my sister this and she’s started being rude and ignoring me being really snappy and just it’s super awkward to be around her now. I asked my friends if I’m being shitty here and they’ve all replied that I am and I can rearrange my plans for another time but that’s the only time I can as the week after I have to move back to uni. If I could rearrange I would, but whatever my surprise is it’s not refundable (I asked just in case). I just don’t understand why she was understanding then but not now? So really Am I the Asshole for not going to my sisters hen do because I have birthday plans? ######

NTA You have plans that existed well before you knew about the hen do. ######

I was talking to my mom when the topic of kids came up. I am 27 years old Male and she started asking me when I was going to get married. I told her I broke up with my gf and I dont want a relationship for the time being. As a matter of fact I never want kids ever. When I told her this, she accused me of being insensitive. Her argument is "because you were born you also have to bring life in the world and play a part." I told her I will not have kids ever because I love my life the way it is and kids are a big responsibility. AITA ######

NTA You have no responsibility to have children, or a relationship. You don't owe that to anyone. It's your life, you do you. <3 ######

AITA: Last night my boyfriend took it upon himself to let our friend group hanging out in discord know that I really don't send him nudes. (I've been through a lot and have ptsd, and I don't trust technology. He knows I'm uncomfortable with sending nude pictures of myself and we see each other on a decently regular basis.) Our friends then proceeded to make fun of me for it which I expected since that's just our friend group. It still really hurt though. I went to talk to my boyfriend about it, and he said that most of my problem should be with our friends and not him. The problem is I struggle to trust people and I'm uncomfortable with my body and in that instant it felt like he just didn't respect me. Am I the asshole for being upset more with him and not our friends? ######

NTA You have everything to lose, and nothing to gain, by sending him nudes. It is not, and has never been, a duty to do this in a relationship. ######

So since September 2019 I have payed for feeding, bedding, the stable box and done all the daily work an care that comes with having a horse. The owner is a sweet girl in her 20s and her parents was paying for the horse up until then. In September she fell, the hores were injured and she got scared, her parents then approached me about the horse and asked if I were interested to treat it as my own, if I were paying everything except medical bills. Around 600 usd a month. I did and I have, I had to nurse this animal because he had a huge gash in his leg. Then I had to slowly get him back into shape before I could ride due to it's a older horse. So by January I could start to actually ride. I have been taking progress photos and videos and sendt the owner since I have experience in doing this from before. So now after not seeing the horse or answering my progress updates since mid September 2019, she sends me a message saying she wants to take the horse for a summer vacation 2 hours away, I work fulltime and don't have the time or energy to go there every other day to care for the horse. (she was suggesting we had every other day) I told her that if I were expected to half care for it and paying, I would prefer the horse to stay where he is or I would consider to stop having responsibility for it. She got a bit offended that i argued with her since she is the owner and all that. Her parents agree with me but they also sympathise with their daughters wishes, but they don't want to pay. So I'm sitting here kind of bummed out because I have grown to care for this animal, but I also feel I should have some say in this....am I the asshole here? Tl;dr: I care and pay for injured horse after owner falls, doesn't hear from her in 7 months and now she wants to move the horse 2 hours away for all of summer, while I still an expected to pay for feeding and come care for it every other day. ######

NTA You have essentially been "renting" the horse. If they want to move the horse, then you need to stop paying. Also, you could probably pay a much more modest fee to ride someone else's horse on an hourly basis. These people are taking advantage. Tell them you would no longer be paying their horse's costs. ######

Over the coming few weeks I've (25f) been tasks with a painting project in the house. That's fine however I have pretty bad ADHD, and not getting side tracked is really hard. On top of that I have sound sensitivity and a macaw who will screech randomly. I find that I can allow myself to stay focused and in the zone if I start quietly listening to podcasts or music with my headphones. That way it drowns out unpredictable noises but it's not so loud that I can't tell if someone is trying to talk to me. You could say i should just put one headphone in but that splits my focus in too many directions. it also doesn't help drown out the screeching of our macaw. Mom on the other hand likes to talk. Usually it's about a recipe she wants to make or something she found on facebook. it's rare for it to be about me or the project at hand. I let her know that I have my headphones in and that I likely won't hear her fully but that doesn't stop her from speaking up randomly. She doesn't try to get my attention first by saying my name, so by the time I put my brush and paint down, and take out my headphones, I miss most of what she's saying and have to ask her to repeat it. This gets her really annoyed and she tells me to take out my headphones, and to not wear them because she wants to be able to talk to me without worrying if she'll be fully heard. AITA? ######

NTA You have a challenge on your hands, though. Your mom is a "void-filler" meaning silence is psychologically disconcerting. People who have that problem cannot take being in a space without noise & chatter. Can you play the podcast or music over a speaker? ######

This actually happened at Christmas, but my sister brought it up today. We have most family dinners at my dad and step mom's house. Just for clarification, my stepmom and I have a decent relationship. However, she has this one rule that drives me crazy. Any time we have a holiday dinner, she expects the girls to do the cleanup. The men do not have to help at all. My sister and sister-in-law have all talked about how much we hate this rule and find it unfair. Last Christmas, my stepmom made a big dinner. At the end of it, she announced that the girls needed to clean up and that she wouldn't be helping, as she cooked. Then she went outside for something. My husband started clearing the table, as he also disagrees with this rule. I also made my teenage son help, as I didn't think it was fair to my teenage daughter. When my stepmom came back in, she threw a fit about it and tried to make them stop helping. My husband told her that it was okay and he didn't mind. She wouldn't accept it and shooed them out of the kitchen. I grabbed my teenage daughters hand and pulled her out with me. When my stepmom demanded we come back in and help, I calmly told her that I wasn't raising my kids that way and we all help or none of us. Her and my dad tried arguing so we left. Later on, my dad tried to guilt me into apologizing but I wouldn't. After a few weeks, we all patched things up. Today, I was talking to my sister about the pandemic and how sad it is that we aren't having a family BBQ. She said it's probably a good thing so I won't have to argue about cleanup. She implied that I was an asshole for how I handled Christmas so that has me wondering if I am in the wrong? ######

NTA You handled it well and you set a good example for your daughter. It's wonderful that your husband is on your side and is also setting a good example to your kids. ######

I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody. Fast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday. Job would be simple and anybody could do it from home. That weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down. The next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday. Monday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days. I called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me. Am I the asshole for making this choice? ######

NTA You had to have someone who'd be open all 4 days. If your gf wasn't available for all 4 days then she wouldn't be a good candidate. If your gf is upset over it then she needs to understand that this was just a short job that needed to be done on those scheduled 4 days. ######

Just to preface this, my wife is wonderful and almost never gets me upset, and I’m just making this thread to see if I did something wrong and need to apologize to her. So I was talking with my two friends, one who just moved across the country, and we were planning a gaming night to catch up and spend time together. My wife mentioned later that day that my family was having a birthday party for my niece, but told me she was just gonna go. Normally she’ll ask my to come, and since she said only she was going, I assumed it wasn’t a big thing and she was just going to visit her family. So she goes to the party and has fun, and I’m getting ready for the game night. Then, about one hour before my friends and I said we were gonna play, my wife starts calling and texting me, telling me she wished I was at the party too (which is understandable because we always have fun together at parties), but then she started making me feel bad about not going, even though I already told her I was going to be with friends that day. She called me in front of her family and they would always take her phone so they could yell at me and tell me “it’s your nieces birthday today” and “don’t play games with your friends, you’re always in your room playing games” (even though I’m not, I’m usually working in my room). And I got frustrated and started ignoring my wife’s calls because at this point it felt like she was just getting mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends because she wanted me to be at a party with her. Also for the record, I ALWAYS go to family parties with her and this is the first one I’ve skipped, which made me really upset that the one time I didn’t go was the biggest deal to her and my family. TL;DR: Made plans to play games with friends, wife tells me later that there’s a family birthday party but it’s okay if I don’t go. Once she’s at the party she changes her mind and gets mad at me for not cancelling plans with my friends to go to the party with her ######

NTA You had plans. She had plans. She didn’t say anything until after both your plans were in place. If she wanted you to cancel she should have said something earlier. ######

Me and my husband are trying for a baby right now and his parents know about it. They told my sister in law I guess, we don’t have a bad relationship even tho we live far away, we still talk. She called me and brought up the baby topic, asked me if we were really trying and I told her yes. She asked “why now? There’s a huge pandemic going on and it’s kinda selfish bringing baby into all of this mess”, I told her that we have been trying for months already. She sarcastically asked why couldn’t we wait for a year or two and why was having a baby right now so fucking important. I just told her to kind her own business and hung up. Of course 2 days later there’s a post on her Facebook about “selfish people not caring about anything other than their stupid wants and needs.” She told her parents about it too and they’re telling me that I was a bit too harsh and I need to apologize. ######

NTA You had every right to tell her to mind her own because spoiler alert! It's none of her fucking business. ######

I (F50) have two adopted siblings, Ray and Emma (20). I love them to death and since I have a significant amount of money and am child free I decided to pay for their college education. I set it up like a scholarship essentially, I would pay as long as they both kept their GPA’s at 3.0 or higher. They agreed to this along with our mother and everything’s going fine. Ray has significantly better grades than Emma but Emma is working hard as well. This last semester Emma received a 2.5 GPA while Ray got a 3.8. I told Emma that I wouldn’t pay for her school next semester or her summer classes and she freaked out. She said the only reason she did so poorly is because of the pandemic and working from home. While I’m sympathetic her midterms were poor as well. My mom is frustrated but understands a deal is a deal. I feel bad but at the same time she didn’t hold up her end of the deal. AITA for not paying for my sister to go to college this semester? ######

Nta You had a mutual agreement and she didn't meet the conditions. Are you going to start paying again if her grades go up? Because that could be a good incentive. ######

I(20f) live with my bf(24) and I’m allergic to cats Last week I came home to find him on the couch petting a very chonky cat. He knows I am allergic but told me that his friend needed to get rid of it so he took it. The cat sheds its fur a lot and my eyes burn, I’m constantly sneezing and I break out in hives. My bf also lets the cat sleep in our bed so I can’t sleep there. I told him that he needs to get rid of the cat as i feel like absolute shit because of my allergy. I’ve tried taking allergy medicine but it doesn’t work very well for me. WIBTA if I made him get rid of it ######

NTA You guys did not discuss this decision. He did it without you knowing but fully knowing you are allergic. Putting the cat on the bed is the cherry on top. Unbelievably insensitive. ######

I am stripping the floors in my condo got association approval, during normal hours and my downstairs neighbor is banging on walls and on pipes and screaming. I am upgrading my wooden floors and changing cabinets. I tried to talk to him to tell him that this is temporary noise for the project but he yelled that "I drove him out and he called his landlord and said he is moving out in 30 days". I sorta feel guilty but I really didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep going and just ignore his rampant screams and banging? ######

NTA You got it approved and one can assume you’re doing it at reasonable hours. Hope he enjoys the 30 days of noise, by then you’ll probably be done lmao ######

I’m upset because my boyfriend and I just finally moved into our first house. I believe it’s just as much mine as it is his, but he’s treating it as if it’s only his. *He never asked me in either situation, just offered it up and then told me afterwards.* He has offered up a place to stay to his sister and her boyfriend, and now his 2 friends. None of which would be able to pay rent/pay for their own food, etc. That’s not even the biggest issue though, it’s that it’s our brand new house. It’s only been months! I just want my own place for once. I’ve been through the roommate situation so many times and it never worked out in my favour! He’s let people couch hop so many times, and “weeks” turned into years with them! AITA for not wanting this again? *Forgot to add, 2 of these people are addicts and I’ve been sober for years. I respect them but I don’t want that around us. ######

NTA You get to have a say in who is living in your space with you and you get to decide how things will work financially. But realistically if he has done this before I don't know what you expected to happen now that you moved into a house. ######

My family lives in an apartment building. Everyone works from home at the moment so I have a lot of time to cook which is one of my passions. Our neighbours both work in a hospital, she's a doctor and he's a nurse. So I asked them if they would like some food and they said yes. So the last few weeks I always froze heaps of food and gave it to them so that every day they could just quickly heat something up. They seemed to appreciate it. Skip to last Wednesday. It was my daughter's 16th birthday and I wanted to make her favourite cake. At 1pm I started mixing all ingredients together. Only 5 minutes later I hear someone ringing our doorbell. I was our neighbour and she seemed quite upset. She said they only just got home and wanted some rest. I apologised and explained it was my daughter's birthday. She said it's selfish of me and that right now there are other things that are more important and her sleep is one of those things. I felt really bad and later brought them 2 slices of the cake as an apology. But later when I talked to my husband about it he said that yes some things are different now but that doesn't mean that our daughter's birthday is not important too. I thought about it and agreed. I haven't brought them any more food since. I do feel guilty for this and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. AITA for how I handle this situation ? ######

NTA You gave them a helping hand and they bit it. Yes, their sleep is important but so is your daughters birthday and I believe this is the case of 'sounds like a you problem'. I would understand if she complained as like 10-12 pm but she has no right to complain at 1 pm, it's your time as much as hers and she needs to suck it up. ######

First time posting and on mobile! I (35f) have been with my SO (42m) for ten years. I don’t plan on getting married, but we’re committed to each other. He’s not the best with money management or adult responsibilities (making appointments, calling to repair things, paying bills on time or at all, etc). With the recent situation he has been laid off. I nagged him for a while about filing for unemployment and was told I’m better at that type of thing so I should do it. My response was if I do this I’m putting it into my account to pay the bills. I work in healthcare and typically pay rent and all utilities anyway, but my hours at work have even been cut back. He agreed. Well, I filled out the forms and got notification that his unemployment claim went through. Now he’s calling me a thief and saying I stole his money. AITA? ######

NTA You flat out told him what would happen if you had to file for him. He agreed and now he’s shocked you’re doing what you said? That money is for bills and to feed his childish ass. He had every chance in the world to act like an adult and do things he needed to do. You’re acting more like a mother to him than a girlfriend. ######

My (15M) family wants to make a "family" youtube channel. My 5-year-old sister is a huge fan of these Disney parody channels. I think its called like TotalistTv. Basically they do real-life parodies of disney highschool and superhero things. I at least think it is really cringe, but I get its aimed at kids so whatever. They get crazy amount of veiws and money, and my family wants to do it. They think with the being shut inside, we have the perfect chance to get a good start. The problem is they want the whole family to. My first thought was hell no, for multiple reasons. 1, I dont want my face all over the internet. 2, I think its kinda dumb. 3, I dont want to give away my freetime for this. I explained this to my parents, they got mad. Haven't been grounded but I can tell they clearly arent happy, AITA? ######

NTA you don’t have to participate in this especially because it’s very public and doesn’t suit your interests. ######

This happened a while back, but it’s been bothering me lately and I really want to know if I was wrong. I (16f) work at a coffee shop. It’s a part time job and I like that I can make my own money and buy myself things without having to ask my parents. For the most part I get along with all my coworkers. But there’s one coworker (we’ll call him J) who just makes me really uncomfortable. Whenever he walks past me he always touches my lower back. I quite honestly don’t like being touched, especially by people I’m not close with. It also makes things worse that he touches my lower back and not like my arm or my shoulder or something. Anyways, I’ve put up with it for a couple months. I wouldn’t say anything because I was too chicken shit but I would kinda shy away from J’s touch or move away whenever he touched me. So, in December, we had a Christmas party where all the workers were there and we were just talking about next year’s goals and having coffee. I was talking to a coworker when J showed up and put his arm around my waist. I told him, really loudly, “don’t touch me”. A couple people were looking at us so he kind of winced and removed his hand. Later on, the coworker I was talking to told me that I was being an asshole and that I didn’t need to call J out in front of everybody like that, and that maybe he was doing it unconsciously. I brought up the fact that he had done it on multiple occasions before and she said that I didn’t have to be so loud about it, and that it was kinda dickish. So, AITA for telling a coworker not to touch me? ######

NTA You don't want to get touched, then you shouldn't get touched. My only advice for the future: Don't wait a couple of months until you speak up. ######

Throwaway for very obvious reasons. I'm a guy. One of my close female friends is the type to go through "phases" of hobbies. Our friend group (a mix of guys and gals in their late twenties) has been very supportive of her interests. We bought paintings when she took up art, we ate all sorts of cupcakes when she sold baked goods, we promoted her blog when she decided she wanted to be a fashion influencer. Lately she's been talking about trying modeling and we thought she meant the Instagram kind, but it turns out she made an OnlyFans account and charges upwards of $50 for nudes. We have zero problem with her posting nude selfies online, she's very proud of her body and I respect her choice to do whatever she wants with it. But lately a lot of us have been talking because she wants us to subscribe to her and it's uncomfortable for a lot of reasons: $50 a month is a LOT of money, personally my girlfriend is very uncomfortable with me paying for nude photos of my friend, and honestly I don't want to see naked photos of someone I think of as a little sister. I had a talk with her and shared the group's concerns about her latest hobby and she lashed out, saying that we're not being supportive and accused me of objectifying her. I'm honestly stunned and a bit confused that I may have come off as an asshole with what I said. So let me have it: reddit, AITA? ######

NTA You don't owe your friends $50 to see nudes and start a fight with your girlfriend... If you don't want to see em (seems like the case), don't look and don't pay ######

I (20F) live with my parents and older brother. I’ll be honest - I do not like him. We do not get along. He’s annoying and intruding and loud and I could go on. I try to just ignore him. For April fools day yesterday, as a “joke,” he decided to hide the pain medication I take to deal with my periods. I have horrible periods, especially the first couple days (which yesterday was) and the pain can be debilitating and make me cry if I don’t have the pain meds to help (even then, I still have pain, I’m just able to function). I basically couldn’t find them all day yesterday then this morning he gave them to me and said “April Fools!!” His prank was hiding this on me since I “relied on them so heavily and need to see I don’t need pain meds to get through the day.” He said that’s what I get for keeping the meds in the kitchen (which I do because they need to be taken with food and/or water) I was fucking pissed. He saw me crying and wincing in pain and hid them from me? I told him to fuck off and that this would be the last conversation we’d have for a while. I’m ignoring him but he keeps texting me like “come on really?” And giving ME dirty looks in the hallway like I’m the one who did something wrong. My parents are staying out of it as we’re both adults. They say f how I want to deal with is by ignoring him then it is what it is. AITA? I don’t think this was a joke. I think this is over the line. ######

NTA You don't fuck with another person's medication. Ever. ######

Pretty much I’m a senior in college [22F] and have no prospects of a love interest. I have always wanted to have kids and have a family ever since I was little. My mom [50F] keeps pressuring me to find someone and have kids so I can give the family grandkids. I keep telling her that quite frankly I don’t really want to bring kids into this world because I don’t want to bring them up on a dying planet. She says that I need to stop pretending to be environmentally friendly. She thinks I am who I was in high school. She doesn’t understand that I have been away at college for 4 years growing and changing my mindset. I keep reminding her that I am more than willing to adopt kids when that time comes around because I would still love to have a family but not bring more people onto this planet. I would love to give children that don’t have a chance, a chance. She constantly gets furious and insults me and says i’m pretending to love the Earth and need to stop saying these things. At the end of the day I know it’s my own body and my own choices but I just don’t understand what her issue is. Is she really that against not having grandchildren that are blood related? Or does she really thing I’m pretending? ######

NTA You do you. Mother has no say in it. ######

I (M) have 3 kids with my ex wife. My daughter (17F), who is the second oldest, is turning 18 in November. 18 is a significant milestone, so I think that when your kid turns 18 you should get them a major gift. When my son (21M) turned 18, I got him a motorcycle. So with all this happening, I thought it would be nice to ask my daughter what she wants now so I have plenty of time for it. She and my younger son are staying with my ex-wife for the time being, so I called her to talk about it. She said that she wants full body laser hair removal. She told me the estimated price and it was less than what I paid for my son's motorcycle a few years ago so I agreed and said I would cover it. Later that night I get an angry call from my ex-wife. She overheard everything and didn't like it. She was saying that I shouldn't be encouraging my daughter to be "vain" or "narcissistic" and that she thought cosmetic surgery was a scam that "preys on women's insecurities". I responded that our daughter will be an adult at this point and that even then, she was being unreasonable. I explained that even if she didn't personally like it, it would make our daughter happy and that's what matters here. She wasn't swayed and said that I was being inconsiderate to her by going ahead with it. To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. My daughter has always been very girly and put a lot of effort into her appearance. My ex-wife has always bot liked this and would try and encourage her to focus less on how she looks. Personally I've never had an issue with her and I just want her to do what makes her feel good, just like my sons with their different interests. I've already put the money aside for it and I've called my daughter again promising I'll cover it despite her mom's objections, so I'm not changing my mind. But I'm interested in getting some outside perspective. ######

NTA You didn't suggest it to her, it's what she wants. Good on you for being thoughtful. Your ex needs to accept that her daughter won't be a carbon copy of her and her values. ######

This was years ago. I was a server and one of my fellow servers left his book with 100-ish dollars cash in it and forgot about it, pregnant server found it (in front of me) and decided to keep the cash and cut me in. Being friends with the server who left his book, i yanked his chain about "forgetting something" and eventually just told him what happened, and returned the money I had. I also told him about the entire situation. The pregnant server had apparently meant to keep her share for herself, and was promptly fired based on my testimony. I thought it was all in good fun, honestly. Had no intention to steal, was just messing with my friend. I definitely had no intention of having a coworker fired, but I think in some ways this is my fault. AITA? ######

NTA You didn't get her fired. She got **herself** fired by stealing from a coworker. ######

For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich. I thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed. She came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me. This is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######

NTA You did this as a kind gesture to your wife. Just stop making her breakfast and tell her to cook herself if she wants perfection. ######

I (22 F) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21. When I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age. So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead. This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking. During the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem "off". At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID. He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn't plan on going on a second date. I told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy. So AITA? ######

NTA You did the right thing, he could have been a minor. ######

So my dog is 4 years old and I just found out she has cancer. The vet said that it was caught early and that with surgery and chemotherapy it’s very likely that she’ll have a full recovery and live a full life like she never had it. The only thing is that she estimates it would cost between 9-10k for the treatment. I don’t have pet insurance, but instead I’ve been putting $100/week into a separate bank account just in case something like this happened. Now when I told my gf of 2 years about my dog, she asked what I was going to do, since it’s not like she expected me to have that kind of money lying around. And if I hadn’t been saving money specifically for my dog, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford her treatment. When I told her about the money and that I was going to pay for the surgery, she was upset because 1. She didn’t know about the account and 2. I’d be spending so much money when she’s out of a job and struggling. She moved in with me a few months ago and doesn’t have to pay rent. We haven’t really discussed finances that much, but I know being laid off has hurt her. She thinks that I shouldn’t spend it on my dog and wants me to save the money for if/when we get married or have kids. I told her that I’m going to do it and I’m going to schedule my dogs treatment soon. With all that’s happening, neither of us have been able to spend time away from each other, so we haven’t said much the past 24 hours and she’s still upset that I’m picking my dog over our future. So, AITA for spending so much money on my dog? ######

NTA You did exactly what you should do when you get a pet and you started a savings account so that you could afford to take care of it. This is *your* money that you saved specifically for this purpose, and she's your pet. Girlfriend should just be happy she's with someone who is capable of helping her financially while *also* taking responsibility for his pets. Seems like that would bode well for those kids she sees herself having with you. And really, what's the alternative here? Does she just want you to let your dog die of cancer? Fuck that. The dog's been around longer than she has. Edit: extra letter ######

My (f22) boyfriend (m24) wants me to pretend to be religious and occasionally go to church with his family in the future, for fear that his mother would disapprove. He mentioned it when he found out about my atheism a few weeks after dating, and I was fine with it but now it just feels wrong. On one hand, I understand his concern, as my own family disapprove greatly of my atheism, but on the other hand, I feel like he's ashamed of it, and I don't like that I'm once again having to hide a part of myself, for fear of what others think. He at first claimed he wasn't that religious, but it became obvious that he is, and I've never had any problem with it. In fact, I love how strongly he feels about his religion, dispite the fact that I don't share it. I don't want to cause him any altercations with his family, especially since he's currently having to live with them "(financial trouble), but I also don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, as it makes me feel like he doesn't fully accept me as I am. And there's also the fact that I already agreed to pretend, before I'd really thought about it. I wouldn't mind going to church with them every now and then, but I want to be able to be open about my atheism. So WIBTA if I refuse to lie about my religion? Either way, I know it's something I need to discuss with him, but I still want the opinion of others. ######

NTA You can't be an asshole for your own beliefs, but a good amount of relationships do not last when the family doesn't like who they are dating. Just be very careful with this situation. ######

There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it. Unfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard. No pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too "foreign", and nothing "unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most "adventurous" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties). If left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast. I'm getting fed up of this. I want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen. I said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore. She thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then. AITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ######

NTA You can still make enough for them but then it's up to them to eat it. You're not excluding him, he's excluding himself. ######

I was having lunch with a friend of mine when the topic of dating came up, I told her I wasn’t dating anyone right now and was keen to get back out there. She mentioned that she had a friend that she thinks I would be a good match with and was also looking to start dating too. She took out her phone and showed me a picture, I was pleasantly surprised and said set it up. She said she would message her and send a picture of me to her too. Then she said that it might not be soon as she has trouble finding a babysitter, I said oh, she has a kid? My friend said 2. I was a little disappointed and I think my friend picked up on that and she said if that was a problem? I said yes honestly, I’d prefer to date someone without kids. My friend said but you liked her picture and I said yes, she is really pretty but dating moms aren’t my thing and are more trouble than they are worth. She looked a little offended and said you’ve told me you wanted kids one day, I said yes my own not someone else’s. She sat and look perplexed and said I was a dick for turning her down for that reason. I told her I’m sure she’s nice, just not for me. Lunch ended quickly after this. I later got a text saying I disappointed her and she would never try and set me up again. I just replied with I’m sorry you feel that way but we all have our standards. AITA here? ######

NTA You can set whatever ground rules you want. Anyone can have preferences -- e.g., maybe you don't want to date someone more than 2 hours away, or someone who works night shift, or is in the military, or eats meat, or is vegan, etc. Your preference is to find someone who doesn't have kids. That's fine. Better to establish that now than several dates in. ######

Throwaway because I don't want to be recognised. Im still on vacation so this is written in mobile. Also english is my 2.nd language se excuse me for any mistakes. Where I am from traveling is legal. So now onto the story. I booked myself an apartment for 3 weeks. I have allredy staid here for 8 days. Neighbours came yesterday. I wanted to have extra space so I took the bigger appartment. There is a shared house but there is a wall between our appartments. If everything id devided on 3 i have 2/3 and neighbour has 1/3 of a house. This also applies for the terrace. I am alone and my neighbour is with his wife and daughter. So they are preety tight on space. Today he asked me if he could put some stuff on my terrace scince I had a lot of extra space. I politely refused and said that i booked bigger one because I preffer having bigger terace and more space. He then tried convincing our landlord(if that's what you call them) and she said that he has to deal this with me. He asked me again and I told him that if he wants extra space he should get a bigger appartnent. But was I in the wrong? Should I let him some of my space? Thank you. ######

NTA You booked the larger (and I'm guessing more expensive?) apartment. Simple as. If he'd asked once and accepted your no then it would be fine. But he tried to go over your head, and then came back to you. That is out of order. If I book a hotel room, I don't get to march up the penthouse suite and use their facilities, because I didn't book that room. ######

So my bf 29 and I 25 have been together for about 5 years now. During these 5 years we had a brief breakup due to some immaturity on both ends towards the start of the relationship and infidelity on his end, however this was all worked on and we’re in a healthy relationship now. Recently his sister had moved into the area from interstate and had been spending a lot of time in our house and specifically with my partner’s best friend who was at the time engaged. It came to our attention that she was sleeping with this friend of my BF’s despite him being engaged. My bf said it’s none of our business and I should ignore it but they were being so intimate so publicly, even inviting us out on ‘dates’ with the two of them where they were ridiculous with the PDA. I’m all for people being happy but what about the girl who’s being cheated on behind her back? I eventually privately messaged the girl and told her about the whole thing, which has angered everyone, especially my bf for interfering to the point where he almost asked me to take my thing and leave. Idk why I did it, maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on before and it’s a touchy subject for me? Maybe I just couldn’t take the burden of knowing about this scandal? Am I an asshole for spilling the beans? This is a pretty messy story and it’s hard to condense but I hope I can get an honest opinion from a neutral 3rd party. ######

NTA You bf clearly does not believe that cheating is a problem in a relationship. That should be a red flag to you. ######

A little background, my som is almost 2 and I post very little about him on social media, not too many photos, because I don’t want his face plastered all over the internet. Anything I do post about him is all private due to my privacy settings so only the people I want to see it can. My SO and I have told all of our family members this multiple times, but for some of them it has fallen on deaf ears. My SO grandmother announced my son’s birth on Facebook with a photo before my son was even an hour old and before we even had the chance to tell everyone. And now my SO’s grandmother has my son as her profile picture and cover photo on Facebook, and after asking her to remove it several thousand times it is still up as well as several other photos of my son all with the privacy settings on public so anyone that searched her page could see them. Would I be the asshole if I reported the photos to Facebook to have them taken down? My SO thinks it would be rude of me, but I am just desperate. ######

NTA You asked her multiple times. She doesn’t listen. This is the only way to get her to stop. ######

Okay, first a little background ... I (21F) live with my boyfriend (25M) in a one bedroom apartment. We technically have a room that could be a second bedroom, but it's very small and currently being used as an office space. We both attend university in DC (undergrad and law school respectively) and have continued to live together while attending classes remotely. My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (23F) also happens to be attending school in DC, but because she was living in on-campus accomodations, she was forced to return home to. She and my boyfriend are still friends, and she's evidently told him how difficult she's found attending classes online with her family's shaky internet and the time difference. She's planning on driving back to DC in the next week to collect her belongings (which is understandably a really long drive). He told me that he was planning on inviting her to stay with us through the summer term. I pretty much told him I wasn't cool with that, and he got mad, telling me I was selfish. So ..... AITA? EDIT: We split both rent and utilities 50/50! ######

NTA You aren't telling him he can't remain friends with her. You are telling him you aren't cool with her as a roommate. Which is valid no matter the reason, but that she is his ex is certainly a very good reason to not want her living with you. ######

For some context I’m a college student currently studying from home I was on a call to some of my friends on my laptop when a family member of mine shouted up to borrow my laptop the next day. I initially thought he meant right at that moment so ended up snapping at him but then afterwards I said about my classes which I had at the time he needed it but due to us both being annoyed it ended up in a shouting match. He left saying he wouldn’t borrow it but my family turned around and were making it seem almost as if I was acting spoilt and not sharing as I didn’t come up with a solution or compromise and instead just said no. This isn’t the first time this has happened in relation to my laptop but it’s usually bad timing when I have some work to do. ######

NTA You aren't responsible for his needs. You could simply refuse to let someone else use your laptop at all, at any time. ######

My partner (30m) and I (33f) are buying a house, and he’s never been that great at saving money. I’m sorting everything out and paying for a lot of things. All of the money is coming from a previous house sale of mine, but he’s chipping in here and there when he can. And he has said that he will try to save as much as he can before we move (he’s a carpenter and is currently getting about £650 a week after tax). His finances have always been a worry to me as he spends frivolously at times and I know that’s a red flag. However solicitors and advisors need to see our statements and so naturally I’ve seen his too. This has made him uncomfortable and annoyed. We have argued about this with me saying it’s just part of the process. Anyway, he had 120 quid on Monday and suddenly today he’s asking me for money again. This has happened before. When he got home I asked how he’d spent 120 in two days and an argument has happened. I mean literally him blowing up like after my one question and basically screaming. I’ve tried to explain like this situation is serious, he needs to get a handle on his finances because buying a home together isn’t a joke. I’m tied to him financially and I should be allowed to ask questions (in my opinion). He can be pretty spiteful and childish in arguments so it’s pretty useless trying to get anything out of him. I’m a very calm person and don’t fight at all, but I’m pretty upset about this because he’s making me really worried about buying a home with him. He earns more than I do and I’m able to save money quite well, I don’t understand how money goes through his fingers like liquid. He’s clearly very defensive of me asking anything about what he spends it on and he’s just blown up and said I’ve ruined his evening - even though I’ve had to lend him money tonight to buy food. Anyway I want to ask AITA because maybe I am being out of line and I don’t realise? Please help! ######

NTA You aren't on the same page regarding finances. DO NOT PURCHASE A HOME WITH HIM. Hash out a budget (inclusive of fun things) and see if he can keep to it. ######

I'm writing this late at night so excuse me for any errors. For context: I'm 14M and lately, my mom has been making my sister sleep in my bed. I value my privacy, and I've literally been babysitting her for MONTHS now. I think that's more than enough time spent together. My room is the only private space I get in the house (even the bathrooms aren't safe) and I really don't want my sister to invade it. Every time I ask why it's either she's tired, or she's sick. I call bs on both because she shows no signs of being sick, and she's quite lively, and she randomly gets up at all hours of the night to get food/drink. She sent my sister to my room tonight and I simply sent her out. I feel like my mom is gonna berate me tomorrow morning, so I need to know before anything happens. AITA? ######

NTA You are the child, not the parent. Where is this kid supposed to sleep? ######

So my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in the next few months but we currently are in a weird financial problem. Basically his parents are both not working and we're not sure if they need to borrow money. I have money saved up in my own savings to pay for a couch from IKEA thats on sale currently but he wants to wait until we know whats going on financially. I would still be able to help his parents out if I bought it. I just don't want to miss the sale and then have to pay an extra $500 for the same couch in a couple months. Would I be the asshole if I just bought it anyway and stored it at my parents till we moved? ######

NTA You are not obligated to give money to his parents. The fact that you intend to help them out with any amount of money should be enough for your boyfriend. You can do what you want with your money... ######

So yesterday while i was at work my GF tipped a glass full of juice right into my PC, by accident of course. Its a build where the motherboard is "facing" upwards so it got all over there and basicly none of the parts are good anymore. Its about a 1500 dollar machine that i use everyday for school and for gaming. She called me when i was at work and she was very nervous, scared and sorry for what had happened. After that I have been pretty cold towards her not speaking much, not because im mad at her but i dont really know what to do and im kind of stuck im my own head just thinking. So just a couple of hours ago she asked me not to be so mean to her and stop being so distant and that "she doesnt deserve this kind of treatment", and that she has said she was sorry a lot, which she has. But im not this way as punishment, i know she is sorry but honestly right now that doesnt really help. When i said i cant really focus on her right now she started crying and left the room. AITA for acting this way? ######

NTA You are frustrated at the situation. You need to deal with it in your own way. I know it was an accident but has she offered to help with the replacement at all? ######

Okay, I'll try to keep this short. I'm a digital artist and graphic designer. I've mostly done it for fun until recently, when a peer wanted to commission a piece. This led to a small wave of commissions, which has been great. No issues with what I charge and it's gone smoothly. It was suggested that I try to get more visibility in our local drag scene, because there's a demand for art and graphic design and they also like to commission locally. To do this, I offered a peer who is active in the drag scene a buy-one-get-one deal. They pay for one piece (for one of their drag personas) and I would do a second logo design for free. Well, I finished the first one. They loved it but when it came time for payment, they were dodgy and hard to contact. It ultimately took them two months to finally pay me. During those two months, though, they used the image in multiple places (mostly with no credit to me at all). I even found out through a friend that they made prints of it as an auction item without talking to me or crediting me. Again, this was all before I was even paid. I understand that I am definitely a naive idiot for not protecting myself. There is no contract regarding terms of use and I was stupid enough to send them the art with no watermark before getting any kind of payment. That's on me, I guess. Lesson fully learned. But regardless, they were someone I thought of as a friend and I feel very used. They're now pestering me for the free second design. WIBTA if I say no? My friends and SO are emphatically telling me not to give them free art, but I feel bad, since I did technically offer it. ######

NTA You are being used. Do not give away your artwork to this person. There actions in using your work without attribution and delaying their payment to you negates any agreement you had in place. ######

I haven't left the house in almost 3 weeks, I HATE shaving. It is probably my biggest pet peeve cause whenever I shave I have stuble literally the next day and it pisses me off. Since my mom and dad have forced me to stay and I'm forbidden from leaving I don't see a need to shave. Its been 3 weeks since I've even touched my razor. I don't grow hair fully on my cheeks but I have a full on beard at this point, it looks ugly as shit and its unkept. I do wash it in the shower with shampoo and stuff so it doesn't smell just looks ugly. My sister recently asked me to shave cause it looks hideous. I told her I'm not shaving till I have to go out, and that I hate shaving. She said that she hates looking at it and I basically told her tough luck. AITA? ######

NTA You are an autonomous being and as unsightly as it may be, the beard is clean. ######

My girlfriend and I live together. We are both pretty laid back people. Now, my girlfriend is normal weight, a little on the chubbier side but still super attractive to me. Today, she tried out a smaller dress and asked if it made her look fat. I said she looked amazing, she said I didn't answer the question. So, I said she looked great and she said I should answer tell her the "truth". I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and started crying. At this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. She claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it. Aita? ######

NTA You answered. She didn't believe your answer, and asked another two times until you told her the "truth". If she didn't want an honest answer she shouldn't keep asking. I hate when people do that crap. ######

AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ######

NTA You agreed to pay for the increase in cost from **your usage** not his. It's as simple as that, and if he's abusing your paycheck because he's a cheap jerk than feel free to turn the heat off. ######

She’s only 20 and is pregnant. She was incredibly upset when she found out as she’s not ready for a baby and isn’t financially stable whatsoever. I felt really bad for her when she was telling me........until I asked her if she was using any protection and this is how the conversation went. Me: Are you on birth control? Her: No. Me: Did you use a condom? Her: No. Me: Did he at the very least pull out? Her: No. Me: Did you take PlanB? Her: No. After that I told her (not in a angry tone or anything) “what did you expect? You didn’t prevent it at all it’s not really a surprise you got pregnant.” And she’s now upset with me and told me I was being incredibly rude and insensitive about the situation. I was being as comforting to her as I could but after being informed she did absolutely nothing to prevent it I got super confused as to why she was so surprised about becoming pregnant? Unprotected sex = possibly getting pregnant. I don’t think it was rude to say that as it’s a no brainer... especially since she didn’t want to get pregnant and is in no way ready? ######

NTA You absolutely should have called her out for being irresponsible. Pointing out that her choices lead to her current situation is the only way she might learn and correct future behavior. ######

33F, married, financially stable and happy with a couple cats and a senior dog My mother (67 F) is a cancer survivor and was recently diagnosed with another, more aggressive form of tumor. Considering her history with treatment, the prognosis isn't good. She and I aren't close. She has untreated mental health issues (I suspect BPD) that made my life hell growing up, and even in my adult years she's often tried to control my life to make it more like hers. One thing we've always disagreed on is the topic of babies. My mother *loves* babies (but not children, who have opinions) and has desperately wanted to be a grandmother from the moment she found out she was having a daughter. Unfortunately for her, I'm childfree. I like kids. I even work with babies, and I'm good with them. But I've never wanted one, and I'm an only child. I called her after the diagnosis came in to check on her, and - in tears - she declared that now is the time that I *have* to give her a grandbaby. The doctor is giving her about a year to live, perfect timing if I get pregnant now apparently. She says this is the only thing that would make her feel better about dying. As usual, I said no. I don't want a kid. My spouse doesn't want a kid. That's it. Now, several of my mother's friends, who in the past had supported my decision, are calling me up to say I'm TA for refusing her dying wish. They're pointing out that my spouse and I could afford a child (true) and that we already have more space in our home than we need (sort of true), and therefore the only thing that's stopping me from popping out an infant in 9 months is, in their opinion, that I'm a horrible selfish child. To be clear, I'm not going to change my mind. A lot of factors have gone into my decision not to have babies, and a few old people calling me a self-absorbed bitch won't change that, but I'll admit that perhaps I am, in fact, a self-absorbed bitch. What say you, reddit? ######

NTA You Absolutely CANNOT bring a HUMAN into the world to placate a dying woman. Sorry, but that's just absurd. Edit: anyone pressuring you into having a kid should raise the kid!! Oh, they don't want to do that?? Big surprise. ######

My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes. When I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude. Now I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol. I just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ######

NTA Yes, mood swings while pregnant are absolutely a thing, and they can be super intense. But, that doesn’t excuse someone being an asshole. Her comments have crossed that line, and it sounds like she’s using the pregnancy as an excuse to say whatever she wants. Even if the mood swings are entirely to blame on this, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. You are totally within your rights to just keep your distance for a bit, or through the rest of the pregnancy, etc. Even if someone is “justifiably” rude, doesn’t mean you have to take it. If this was actually due to the hormones, she’d feel bad afterward for saying something in the moment. ######

So first and foremost I must say my parents are amazing but their siblings and parents aren't as great as my parents are. When I was younger I had always wanted to be with my Aunt's and grandparents to spend time with them yet they would always ignore me in favor of my cousin who was a year older than me. At that point in my life it was only my cousin and I being the children in the family. Fast forward a few years and it was no longer just my cousin and I. It was My cousin, her brother, my sister, and I. I was sorta hoping that with two new additions they would no longer be able to focus on purely one person. I was right. They focused on my sister, and both my cousins always forgetting I was a part of the picture. This always lead to awkward holidays where everyone was having fun and I felt stuck like I was talking to strangers. Now a days, my grandpa passed away and the family was devastated. all of them posting stuff on Facebook like "I've lost all ties to this family" or "My family is falling apart". It also just so happened that I had finally finished school and landed myself a nice job that lets me travel yet it's only now after I've left that they are trying to build a relationship with me. My parents asked me to please just try to talk to them and be nice but I always respond with "Why should I be there for them if they were never there for me?" I feel like I'm justified in thinking this but I still feel a little like an asshole. Everyone tells me that I need to get over it because they are blood. But blood doesn't always mean family right? So AITA? TL/DR: AITA for refusing to talk to my family because they were never there for me? ######

NTA Yeah, never knew how many family members I had til I moved to popular destinations.. On that note, I’d give them one shot. Let them say what they have to say and to each person I’d reply why are they reaching out now when they’ve had X years to try and talk? Just cause they need/should learn their actions had consequences. ######

So I actually made a reddit account because this has been on my mind a lot lately with the pandemic. I'm currently quarantined in the house with my parents and younger sister. I have a couple of food allergies which, while not severe (i.e. I won't go into anaphylactic shock if I accidentally eat a piece of a pecan), I'd rather avoid triggering if I can. To that end, I usually end up buying snacks and food for myself that don't contain my allergens which I pay for myself. I've been working from home, and had my snack mix next to me which I'd just closed up because I didn't want it to get stale when my mom comes up beside me. I turn my head because she might have to ask me something and see her open up my jar, reach her hand in, and take a big handful of snack mix without saying a word to me. I've always considered helping yourself to someone else's food without asking to be rude, so later, I mentioned to my mom that I wouldn't mind sharing if she at least asked me first since those are snacks that I paid for myself because they don't have my allergens in them. She got annoyed at me, saying that she guesses she'll keep that in mind next time she does the family grocery run. This isn't just my mom either, I'd just gotten myself some takeout and turned to grab a plate in time to see my dad open up the container and start eating the contents. When I got upset, he slunk off pouting. My sister thinks I'm being selfish and a jerk because I won't share, but AITA for wanting my family to ask before they take my food? P.S. On mobile, and this is my first reddit post, so formatting may be wonky. ######

NTA Wtf, your mother and father are displaying enormous amounts of ignorance and rudness. I mean, your Dad literally helped himself to food you bought for yourself without asking while your back was turned. That's not normal at all. I would snap if my parents did that crap. Unfortunately, my advice would be to hide your food from your parents. Utterly pathetic behaviour especially from your dad. Like serously, What the actual fuck? ######

**This happened before COVID-19** I babysit kids age 2 to 10 since I was 14 (I'm now 16M). I sometimes babysit multiple of them at ones (max 4). Around August last year, there was a woman who asked me to babysit her 5-year-old son on a Saturday, which was alright for me. I ask details like allergies and such when she mentioned he wasn't vaccinated, I immediately refused and said that I won't babysit her son for the health of the other kids I had scheduled that day. She began to argue with me saying that I'm her only option left and that if I refused she couldn't make her cousin's funeral (this is not a sob story, it was true, learned it from her sister). I still refused for the same reason as I said previously. She then left muttering something I couldn't understand. I felt a bit guilty, but it was gone when I learned that she complained to the city council about my 'illegal' babysitting service. (It's not illegal since in my country you need a licence or something if you babysit 9 or more children per week and I only do it on the weekend, vacation or not.) They inspected me and they did say I should change a few things for the safety of the kids, but I was safe. But was I the asshole back then? ######

NTA Wow, you so much dodged a bullet. She complained to city council?? Mate, if anything had happened to her kid, and I mean anything, as small as a stain on their shirt, she would have been at your throat and made you pay for it. Also completely fair for you. No jab no play. her decision, her consequences to bear ######

Yesterday my boyfriend Now to give you some clarification, its not like I particularly dress for "unwanted" attention. I do dress nice I guess, as in, I like to wear cute flats with a blazer and pretty blouse. But I'm not the type to show my cleavage and bum, and even if a gal did, thats her prerogative. Anyways I dress for myself. And no one else. Anyways, I was out with my BF the other day as restrictions were getting lifted. I will say, I might have looked extra polished as I spent extra time on my hair and makeup for the day. My boyfriend got upset with me about how (according to him) guys were always checking me out and today it was "bad" and I was facilitating it. I was "enabling their pig thoughts" it got pretty heated. He said it was comparable to me being "slutty". Here's the thing. My boyfriend checks out other women. A lot. I gneenrally don't care. So for him to be upset with other dudes checking me out? Fuck that. I told him that if he's going to check out other women, then dont be a hypocrite and controlling douchebag and be all uppity when guys do the same to me. Its not like I'm asking for their numbers. Either its okay to you or it isnt. You can't have it both ways. Anyways he called me a bitch after I called him a hypocrite and now that I've cooled down, im.not sure if I went too far. AITA. ######

NTA Wow, just wow. It’s not even you checking out guys it’s you being checked out by them. You have almost no control over that, and it’s unreasonable to expect you to wear like a frumpy sweater 24/7 if that’s not you. Maybe find someone else ######

Background &amp; Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes. Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program. Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it. Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA. AITA? ######

NTA Why is she so helpless? I didn’t know how to make a resume until I made one. If she can’t fill out a job application, she probably shouldn’t have a job. ######

My boyfriend has a tendency to spend his entire day in discord with his friends when he is home. I normally do not care that he is spending time in their with his friends unless I am spending time with him doing something. He will oftentimes join a voice chat and sit in discord while we spend time together playing video games. I have told him repeatedly that it makes me feel like the time we spend together is cheapened because he often responds to his friends and chats with them, t when this happens it makes me feel like his attention isn't all there. &amp;#x200B; I have asked him to stop joining voice chats when we spend time together, or to leave them if he is in one if we are going to start playing a game without his friends. He absolutely loses his mind and goes off about how I hate his friends, that I wan't to control him and who he talks to etc. I'm not asking him to never join back, just spend the hour or two we are doing something together without joining the chat. He also uses arguments like "I said maybe two or three things to them while we played our game." when those two or three things weren't just a quick word but rather a discussion with his friends. &amp;#x200B; I've told him I wouldn't expect him to be ok with me sitting on my phone and having a conversation with someone while we went on a date, or out to dinner, he say's 'it's different' the gyst of it is I can't stand when he does it so I will ask him if he is in discord and if he is to please leave. If he joins a discord channel I will ask him to leave. this is only when we are spending time together. ######

NTA Why is he in a relationship with you if he can't or won't spend an hour or two alone with you? It's considered rude to be on a phone call or texting other people while spending time with someone. Everyone knows that. ######

One of my son’s best friends has been coming to stay with us a lot since they became friends. My son loves sleepovers and I don’t have an issue with hosting (a lot of his friends can’t as they live in trailers). This one boy, Jackson, is great. He’s a lovely kid, but his mom sends him over without pajamas and he sleeps in his birthday suit!!!! in our beds :/ I was fine with this on a one off basis, but he’s starting to come over more now and I don’t want him to set an example of my son. WIbTa if I mentioned this to his mother. ######

NTA Why does he sleep in his birthday suit? Why not in underwear and a T-shirt? ######

Pretty sure that I'm not the asshole but want to make sure. So my girlfriend (24f) moved in with me (26m) like 6 months ago. I have two cats I got before I met her. Since they are my cats, I do everything to take care of them. Including scooping the litter box every day. No problems, and then suddenly, my gf decides that I need to clean them twice daily. Because it is gross to only do it once a day. I'm not sure why she thinks so or even really cares. She never cleans the boxes and she can't even smell them. I kinda suspected this was some sort of test and that she just wanted to see if I would do what she said. So I decided to address her stated concerns (that it is gross to only scoop once daily) by getting some self cleaning boxes. If she was genuinely concerned about the litter boxes being too gross, self cleaning ones will (presumably) be an even better solution than she wanted. I was considering buying them anyway, and this just pushed me to do it. She was mad when I told her. She became even more mad when I pretended not to know why she was mad and demanded an explanation. She eventually admitted that she was pissed I came up with a "loophole" around obeying her demand. ######

NTA Why do you want to be with someone so awful? ######