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My ex and I have a 10 year old daughter from a teenage relationship. My daughter lives with my ex and I pick her up for the afternoon on one weekend day and often take her out for dinner during the week. She still has a stuffed dog I bought for her when she was a baby and carries the damn thing everywhere. It is always dirty and I think she's too old to carry a toy everywhere. I made a rule that she either leaves the toy at home or puts it inside a plastic bag when she's in my car or home. She cried and said I was mean, then later my ex called me to yell at me. She said I was being insensitive to my daughter's disability and needs. (Apparently she's autistic but I don't believe that.) ######

YTA for making a 10 year old cry. ######

So I (f26) have a boyfriend (m24) and recently he got into a dispute with the neighbour's kids. They accidentally kicked their football into our yard and they came into the garden to get it back. Tbh, I didnt care but my boyfriend started screaming at these like 11 year ds about how they are poorly raised and their parents should be ashamed. I. Was. Fucking. Mortified. I sent the kids some chocolates and sweets and apologised profusely for his behaviour. I was seeing red flags and told him this behaviour was NOT normal. He kind of brushed me off and I told him if he pulled anything like that again he was gone. The next week the ball came into our garden and I was about to throw it back to the kids when my boyfriend stormed outside and took the ball inside. I told the kids that I would bring it back in a minute. He went into the bathroom and emerged like 10 minutes later wearing gloves and a football covered in shit. HIS OWN SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. I asked him if he was out of his fucking mind but he stormed past me and threw it over the fence screaming "TAKE THAT YOU BITCHES". I screamed and girl I mean screamed at him about how he was a fucking douche and I wanted him out of my house and he is a disgusting fucking monster and that they were just kids. I screamed and screamed and eventually he left. I deleted all his games off of his ps4 and gave it to the kids as an apology. I was so embarrassed. My ex-bf's mom messaged me asking what happened and I responded with "What happened? WHAT HAPPENED? You are a pathetic excuse of a woman who raised a fucking sociopath who covered a football in his own shit and threw it at some kids and he needs to be a in a facility because something is wrong with him and god knows how I hadn't seen any red flags about the fucking monster you raised during the 7 months we dated". I know I am in the right for what I did to my bf but am I in the wrong for snapping at the mother for something she had no direct involvement in? ######

YTA for lashing out at the mom. Yes, a child’s actions can reflect on the parent, but something like mental health can happen with or without amazing parenting. I get that it was in the heat of the moment, but I really hope you apologize to her and talk about your ex’s situation to her a bit more thoroughly after. ######

My cousin (18f) and I (21f) were never really close because she was the beautiful darling girl of the family while I was just the "smart" one. It also doesn't help that we were just two different people. My cousin is known to use so much photoshop and makeup on all of her pictures to make herself look older than she is. She's not aware of the real world and how some of the older men tend to be towards young women around her age. Today, my mom told me that my cousin got knocked up by her 22 year old boyfriend. I feel as if the boyfriend is only using her for her looks/ sex. My family has a long history of 16-20 year old women becoming mothers too quick. I'm the only one (so far) who isn't a mother at 21. I told my mom that my cousin had just fucked her life up and that she needs to get a job and not try to rely on her parents money. My mother got mad because I wasn't like everyone else in the family who was excited and kissing my cousin's ass. I blame her parents for not putting her on birth control when I told them that I know guys around her boyfriend's age and how a lot of them are known to leave once they get the girl pregnant. I blame the boyfriend for not being mature enough to buy condoms. I defended myself by saying "if I've gotten pregnant at her age, you would be pissed off. Why are we kissing her ass for spreading her legs without protection." I understand that a pregnancy is a huge thing in my family because of the history of young women getting pregnant. It could also be the fact that I have a hormonal condition that would make it hard for me to have children if I wanted them and that i could be jealous that I might never have that experience myself. Am I the asshole for not being happy for my young cousin's pregnancy? ######

YTA for how you’ve communicated your dismay and disappointment in your younger cousin’s behaviour. I actually agree with you and feel that she’s probably going to lose some opportunities- whether temporarily or permanently- due to a pregnancy this early in her life. But it’s her life and her consequences. You don’t have to agree with her choices but you don’t have to be overly blunt when voicing your opinions. Edit: typo ######

Since quarantine started, a couple of us have been meeting up online and having "hangouts". We essentially just talk about random stuff, gossip, and drink together. It's nothing much but keeps us sane. My friend Tiffany was talking about the new post-doc in her research lab. She was gushing about how hot he is and how if there's anyone she'd marry it's him. Naturally, we all wanted to see how he looked and when she showed us, he was good looking but I wasn't impressed, but encouraged her. I told her that he wasn't my type, but she should go for it. Another one of my friends agreed with me. Tiffany laughed and asked us who our 'dream' husbands were. Now, I'm already married, but I thought it was just a fun question and without thinking, blurted out "Brad Pitt". My other friend, who's also married, said "Adam Driver". Everyone just laughed and joked about how if they ever meet them, they'll tell them to give us a call. However, my husband became quiet and stayed that way until the end. When we exited the call, my husband said that he's disappointed that he wasn't my dream husband and said that "I thought loving you was enough for you" and sulked to the guest room. I told him that I didn't really mean it and it was just a joke, but he said that he was hurt about how fast I said it, like it's always in the back of my mind. I told him that he's being ridiculous and that I'll always love him and I don't even love or like Brad Pitt. He's just a pretty man with too much drama and baggage. Husband wasn't having it and didn't even talk to me in the morning. AITA? ######

YTA for how you handled this with your husband. He is allowed his feelings. He is allowed to feel insecure about what you said, and you are allowed to not mean it how he took it. None of that actually resolved the core issue- which is he felt x, and you didn’t take how he felt seriously, and just dismissed his feelings, saying his thoughts, feelings and reality is wrong, and he should just believe you loved him. You may want to sit down with him & act like you take what he feels seriously, and ask him how you can reassure him that he is the only guy you love. ######

My sister is almost 30, still lives at home and doesn't have a real job. She wants to become a successful Etsy "couture home decor artist." Basically she wants buy Made in China junk, decorate it and sell it at 900% markup. I told her Pier One already beat her to it and they're going out of business. Faced with the reality she was going to have to get a real job, she "reinvented" her "business" as a "social justice home decor art." The junk (picture frames, vases, candles, wine bottles, baskets, Chia pets, pet "fashion," and gnomes) she wants to sell is going to be designed with rainbow flags, images of diversity, etc. She thinks her "art" will fly off the shelves but has no money to invest. My parents lied and said they're broke so she hit me up. She told me she needed roughly $20,000 to start and needed it quickly. That made me laugh. I told her I'd burn $20,000 than invest in her shitty "art." ######

YTA for how you handled that. Yeah, I also think it won’t go as she thinks it will, but you were a total asshole in your response. You could have evenly, and cooly, and helpfully explained your view to her, but instead you dumped your derision on her. ######

My husband's friend and his wife are pregnant and expecting a boy. They recently told my husband that they want to name the baby after him. When my husband and his friend where teenagers, his friend was involved in a really bad accident while they were riding dirt bikes. If my husband had not been there that day his friend would have died, so I get why they want to do this. It is sweet, but I hate the idea. My husband and I are trying to conceive, and if we have a boy, I had thought about naming him after my husband. I'm not saying that we would, but I would like for that option to at least be available to us. As much time as we spend with his friend and his friend's wife, it would be awkward to have two boys with the same name. I asked my husband to politely request that they pick another name, and he refused. He told me that it was strange to be so upset over this when we may never have a boy and it's unlikely we would name our son after him. When my husband refused I reached out to the friend and his wife about it. I told them that it was ultimately their choice but it bothered me and I'd ask that they use another name if they didn't mind. They were really nice about it and said they understood my point. They may use his middle name, but they aren't going to use his first name. I don't think what I did was inappropriate, but my husband said I was acting entitled and like an asshole. He thinks I should have minded my own business instead of telling his friend and his friend's wife not to name their baby after him. I am not sure if his criticism is valid or if he's just upset that he won't get his namesake now. ######

Yta for going around your husband. Beyond that,I have a brother who is named after my dad. It is nothing but hassles and headaches when dealing with nearly everything, especially government bureaucracy. Don't do it. ######

I have a seventeen year old daughter who has been kind of difficult lately. She is getting really into social issues and just doesn’t stop when I ask her to. We were having a conversation last night about relationships and I admitted that I didn’t love her father when I married him and I married him entirely for his money and she got very upset. I always assumed she kind of knew. We have a 25 year age difference, got married after less than a year of knowing each other and she’s heard stories from family about the crazy fights we used to have. She got really mad at me which I can’t figure out because she knows how much I love him right now. She just kept saying that was terrible and I set women back. She called me a prostitute which my husband overheard and began screaming and tried to ground her for two weeks, but I talked him out of that. Right now she is still mad at me but not mad at him for blowing up on her. My husband says I shouldn’t have told her when I knew she was going through this phase. ######

YTA for giving your 17-year-old daughter some very complicated information that she couldn’t possibly begin to understand. Just because she knows there’s a 25 year age difference between you and your husband, doesn’t mean she knows that you married him purely for money. Honestly, I think you’re an asshole for doing that too, but it’s not why you came here. Even if it’s true and even if subconsciously your daughter knew that, no kid would enjoy being told one of their parents didn’t love the other parent when they got married. Not everything is for your kids to hear, no matter how old they are. You are an asshole. Your husband is right. And your daughter has every reason to be upset with you. ######

My husband wanted to go visit his mom the other day and I really didn’t want to drag the kids over there because I feel like she makes it obvious she doesn’t want to be a grandmother but my husband keeps pushing it. She doesn’t like to be touched, like to an extreme and doesn’t want her own grandchildren touching her. So I have to explain to my 5 and 7 year old why they can’t touch their grandmother. She is remarried to a man with a nine year old daughter and she has been around since the kid was three. She claims she is just frigid and can’t stand being touched unless it’s a man but when we were over her husband was going to take her stepdaughter home and they hugged. I’ve seem her be physically affectionate with her stepdaughter in the past and it really bothers me. I said I thought no one was allowed to touch you. We ended up fighting and I said I just wanted to know why hugged her stepdaughter. My MIL started sobbing and that’s a big deal because this woman never shows emotion. She screamed something about do I think she likes being this way and then locked herself in her bedroom. Her husband told us to go back to our welfare lives and leave his family alone, so pretty much implying that we’re not his family. ######

YTA for fighting with her about her boundaries. You don't have to like or understand other people's boundaries, but you do have to accept them. She doesn't want anyone but her immediate family touching her. Regardless of how much it bothers you, everyone has the inarguable, absolute, end-all be-all right to decide who touches them, and under what circumstances. If the "who" is "no one" and the circumstances are "none," **that is her right.** Accept that. ######

I’ve (21M) been with the same girl (21F) for about 2 years now. A little while into our relationship I started having suspicions about my sexuality but I was honest with her that I thought I might be bi. Over the last year or so I’ve been pretty much sure I’m gay now. With the way my attractions have changed, sexual desires, etc. I told her this back on Tuesday, because I had no other choice but to be honest with her for the sake of both of us. She basically called me a fucking asshole, and told me I was stringing her along. I told her that wasn’t how it was and that I had no idea for the longest time, that I thought I was straight or at least bi. She told me to go to hell and left. I did expect this reaction. I’ve also gotten hounded from her family the last few days though. They told me I knew and was stringing her along. I don’t get how this is the case. I had no idea I was gay for the longest time, and quite frankly wouldn’t want to be if I had the choice. I felt like I had to tell her, to be honest and end our relationship. Did I fuck up? AITA? ######

YTA for continuing to date this woman for “the last year or so” when you’ve “been pretty much sure I’m gay.” You didn’t need to come out to her but you should have broken up with her and yes, you were stringing her along. ######

So my girlfriend and I are from different countries. I come from a muslim majority country and she comes from a christian country. Her name is something like Alison and all her friends and family are calling her Ali, except me, I call her by her full name because Ali is my dad's name and I feel weird calling my girlfriend with my dad's name. This is normally fine, and my gf is okay with it, even though it was a bit unusual for her at first. It's not like you call out someone with their name all the time anyway. But last month we went to visit her parents for the first time and I called her by her name and her parents got started questioning me. I told them the same thing, but they said nobody calls her by her full name and they didn't want to use the full name ever, that I'm being disrespectful towards them etc etc. Here is where I might be the AH, I couldn't stand hearing all these stuff and with a grin on my face told them I'd rather not call my dad's name while sleeping with their daughter. After that crickets followed, they dropped the subject and didn't bring it up ever again. But when we got back my GF was a little bit angry, telling me that her parents really grilled her about how disrespectful I was and all that. I actually don't care about if I am the AH since the subject was dropped (which was my aim), but I am curious as to see if I am actually the AH on this. ######

YTA for bringing up your girlfriend's sex life with her parents. Like not even cool. You're not the only one involved to give consent to that. On another note I think it's real weird they named their daughter something they won't even call her by. ######

It’s a cheap house I want to invest in. Owned by the state currently. I’m doing inspections now, if report ok (I expect some work but ok as in I can afford fixes) I’ll buy cash and fly out and start the renovations. Probably just rent it out but I want it to be nice enough to rent so it’s not probably cheap in total but cheap enough for me to start the process. Hell, I might wipe out my savings but I see it to be a big risk big reward and I have the hair up my ass to do it. While my own family of origin is really excited for me and even wants to help me because they’re bored, my spouses family thinks we should help them because they’re not working. Wtf. I’m just going to be honest and blatant and vulgar. So be aware of profanity Fuck those lazy ass people. I have never known them to do anything but be mooches and I could give a shit less. “Because they’re not working” they never work or they work quit work quit. TF does that have to do with me? The kicker? My wife warned me about bringing this shit up to them. I didn’t even think about it when I said it. Now when she talks to them she puts the phone on speaker and it’s all “woe is me, I need I need” and she just looks at me like, I blame you. Anyway maybe I’m an asshole. You can determine but either way. Fuck them. Like they could really become homeless for real and I’m not giving them shit because I’ve seen them not help themselves so long it wouldn’t surprise me. ######

YTA for bringing it up when your wife TOLD YOU NOT TO. You knew who they were, she knows who they are. At this point you would be even more TA, if both you and your wife firmly didn't tell them no, and to not ask for anything again. ######

My 14yo son goes to a private high school. Very pricey and the vast majority of the families are loaded with money. Money is no object to them. My son happens to get a partial scholarship so I can afford his education. A lot of the kids at his high school do a semester of studying aboard. Usually in Australia and Switzerland. My son's friends are going to do that in spring (yes, you can do this with the pandemic). My son begged me to let him go and I was open to it. Until I saw the cost. Over $10,000 to go to a Swiss high school for four months. I clearly do not have that kind of money. I don't want my son to feel ashamed about my not having the kind of money his friends' families do and I feel incredibly guilty about it. I don't want him to feel ashamed. I told him to forget about it because he would get bored, it's too cold, his mother would have to sign off for legal reasons and I can't find her, etc. Anything but money. I don't discuss my finances with my son. It's none of his business and that's why I don't tell him the truth. ######

YTA for being so proud that you can’t even tell your own son that you’re struggling financially. Saying “it’s a lot of money, and I’m worried about Covid right now” would have been perfectly fine. At least then, he knows the truth, but he can also tell his friends at school that he isn’t going because of Covid. Tell him the truth; he’s 14 years old. He deserves to know. Hiding things from him is never going to end well. ######

Yesterday I really wanted to eat steak, so I bought a beautiful piece of Argentinian chorizo (New York Strip) at a very fancy place. I bought gourmet butter and some rosemary, and I say this to emphasize how much I was craving and how much effort I put in the making. I told my gf IN THE MORNING that I wanted steak and that I was going to buy it for dinner, she didn't say she wanted some of it. She knew about it and said nothing, I had no idea she assumed I was cooking for both of us. She is usually very cool but she's extremely upset about this for some reason, she cried for half an hour and is STILL barely talking to me. I'm like?? Wtf?? What did I do? How was I supposed to know?? This whole thing ruined my dinner and I don't think is fair that women can get away with not communicating jack shit and expecting us to read their minds. Please put me in peace, Reddit: was I the asshole? PS. My region has very few active cases of coronavirus, we are allowed to go out normally as long as we wear a face mask. I did not break quarantine for a steak, I'm not stupid. If you can and if your region has cases, stay at home. PS'. English is not my first language, excuse any mistake PS''. Throw away account because I'm embarrassed at how stupid this is ######

YTA for all the reasons mentioned above but also for coming out of the gate with “I’m tired of women expecting us to read their mind with no communication!” You were clearly the one communicating improperly, and made it like your gf was unreasonable and impossible to understand. ######

Y'all... I can't even explain how terrible these things are. He's making them right now. I hear him in the kitchen, and I'm scared. When I hear the metal spatula hit my cast-iron skillet, I know what's coming, and it fills me with dread. He makes breakfast burritos. When I make them, I do it the right way: Eggs, bell pepper, fried potatoes, sausage or bacon, and I wrap it up in a tortilla with cheese and salsa. Not him.... He first uses the metal spatula on cast iron, so he just scraps all the burning eggs sticking to the pan in with the rest of the eggs. He also uses WAY too much milk and butter with the eggs. Then he adds the salsa straight in with the eggs, which creates so much liquid that the egg can't absorb it, so it's just soup in a burrito. And then, THEN, the sick freak adds MUSHROOMS. 🤢 The thing is, he is so proud of these burritos. He's always like, "Turned out pretty good this time, didn't they?" But they never do! They... Never... Do. He's making them right now, and I'm hiding in the bathroom faking morning sickness. So... AITA for not just sucking it up and eating them? ######

YTA for acting like a child and not just telling him that while you're glad he enjoys his creations they're just not your thing and you'd rather make your own. Use your words. ######

This evening, I was walking my dog. During the walk, I recognized this girl I went to high school with sitting outside while I was passing her house. Her dogs were barking at me, so I just asked friendly as all hell, "Are your dogs mean?" But she didn't say anything. She was kind of close so I knew she heard me, but I asked again slightly louder. Still nothing. After that, I just accepted that she was obviously shunning me, said good night, and kept walking. On the way back, I was passing her house again and there was this dude standing on the porch. I think it was a younger brother. I said nothing, but all he said was, "Yeah, keep walking, bastard." At this point, I was thinking, "What the hell did I do?" I asked him, "Is there something wrong?" He didn't say anything though. To clarify, I'm not infamous in my hometown for anything. The sun was going down, but it was like during the golden hour. This was the first time I'd ever talked to her. I have to confess, though, I only spoke to her because she's seems lovely and I was looking to start something. But there was nothing creepy about the way I spoke to her. By the way, I'm a year out of high school and I think she just graduated. Maybe I'll try again in the future. I'm still wondering what the hell I did wrong. ######

YTA for acting entitled to a response, leave her alone. ######

I'm Canadian-Italian; while I speak English, my parents do not; growing up I spoke Italian at home and English at school. I used to live in a neighborhood in Toronto with a predominant Italian population. Our childhood grocery store was Italian run and while you could make due in English shopping there, you can forget about the patisserie counter, deli counter, etc unless you spoke at least some proficiency in Italian. Pointing at food only got you so far since many of the employees spoke Italian first. It's been 25 years since I've been to this grocer and for some nostalgia sake as well as I had some errands in Toronto, I drove up and thought I'd surprise my husband back home with some nice cold cuts and pastries from my old stomping grounds. I'm doing my shopping and I can tell things have changed. I know the grocer is still family run but a lot of the employees are no longer Italian. This is whatever. I do my shopping and get to the deli counter and start asking for some specific things and half of the things I wanted, the employee doesn't know what it is or cannot find it. This employee isn't Italian, so I ask her if there's an Italian employee who can help me. This would go a lot faster and smoother if I can ask for what I want in Italian. Plus, an Italian employee is going to know every single thing I ask for and where to find it. A lot of products have Italian names or I don't know the name but can describe it well enough in Italian. I guess my request was taken abrasive but she ended up calling over someone who could speak Italian and off we go. The first employee told me it was rude to speak in a different language in their presence and she assumed I was talking about her without her knowing. She said it was racist to assume she couldn't do her job because of her ethnicity/language. I just wanted some cold cuts. Was I the asshole? ######

YTA for a couple of reasons: >I ask her if there's an Italian employee who can help me. This would go a lot faster and smoother if I can ask for what I want in Italian. If language is the issue, what you should have asked is if there are any employees who **speak** Italian. Not everyone born in Italy is going to be able to speak the language, and there are plenty of people *not* born in Italy who *do* speak the language. >Plus, an Italian employee is going to know every single thing I ask for and where to find it. Now you're making assumptions about whether or not someone will know where a product is based on their nationality? That's pretty offensive. Everyone who works there should know where all the products are. If they don't, it's because they're not a great employee, not because they're not Italian. A crappy Italian employee would likewise not know where everything is. ######

I'm 18 (turning 19 in November). Someone posted some art in a fandom community I am in late last year and it was great so I made a twitter account to follow the artist. Big-ish account. He's 24 (almost 25) and I quickly developed a crush on him. He's so nice and handsome and humble, replies to every tweet and dm, that kind of person. He had a convo with him but heres the problem: he doesnt talk to minors at all (in dms anyway). He also made this tweet that dating under 21s is weird for him because he's old and his not even being legally able to drink would freak him out (personal preference?). It made me sad but it is what it is. I dmed him about something (fandom related) in March or so and we started talking. He asked my age and pronouns as he does with everyone and I don't know what possessed me but I told him I'm 22. Well, we did become friends, I kind of flirted, he flirted back, we binged tv shows together and got very close. He asked me out in early June and now we're happily dating. Problem is, I feel like an asshole because I feel like I'm lying to him. I talked to a friend about it and she basically called me an asshole as well and told me to "leave this poor man alone" but he's so good and nice and talented. I know he'll be mad if I tell him the truth but I only did it for my own happiness. Am I an asshole? ######

Yta evetually hes going to find out he will notice when you do not buy drinks at a resturant or other tiny things will show that you are underage ######

I am 36 and have a 16 year old daughter. I have full custody of her because her mom, 40, had a mental breakdown and has been in and out of rehab. This January, I started dating my girlfriend (21F). Then quarantine happened and that time apart made me realize that I wanted to spend my life with her. So I proposed in May and she’s moved in. Our wedding is in October. Since then, my daughter has been a nightmare. She and my youngest sister, 25, keep calling my fiancée “ the kid.” My fiancée decides to invite my daughter out to go shopping. She kept trying to set a date but my daughter kept saying she had an extracurricular activity. So yesterday day when my daughter once again said she was going to practice her serve, I decided to follow her car. She ended up pulling up to a diner and I realized she was grabbing lunch with my youngest sister. I am furious. First at my sister for enabling toxic behavior and second at my daughter for lying to her stepmom. I ended up taking her car keys away from her. Her aunt then calls and says I had no right to do so. I explained that she would not be getting her car back until she makes an attempt to bond with her stepmom. AITA for not condoning lying? I just want my fiancée to be accepted into the family. ######

YTA every step of the way. Let's break this down: > I am 36 and have a 16 year old daughter.....This January, I started dating my girlfriend (21F) Okaaaay, so your dating a girl that's only a couple years older than your daughter. Kinda weird. >Then quarantine happened and that time apart made me realize that I wanted to spend my life with her. So I proposed in May and she’s moved in. So proposed after 5 months of dating, much of which you've been "apart" and moved her into your home with your daughter? Has your daughter met this person? I take it she didn't have a say in her moving in? >Since then, my daughter has been a nightmare. She and my youngest sister, 25, keep calling my fiancée “ the kid.” Understandable that your daughter has considerable resentment about this situation. I'd probably refer to her as "the kid" too. >So yesterday day when my daughter once again said she was going to practice her serve, I decided to follow her car. She ended up pulling up to a diner and I realized she was grabbing lunch with my youngest sister. So seems like your daughter has no interest in bonding with your fiancée but doesn't want to create drama so she blew her off? Have you never used a white lie to avoid having to spend time with someone? Would you have preferred that she was honest and told your fiancée that she wasn't interested in spending time with her? Would that have been better? You followed her car, wtf? >I am furious....my daughter for lying to her stepmom. She's not her "stepmom." First, she's not your wife, she's your fiancée. Second, "stepmom" assumes that your fiancée is some type of parental figure to your daughter, which with only a 5 year age gap is NEVER going to be the case. >I explained that she would not be getting her car back until she makes an attempt to bond with her stepmom. AITA for not condoning lying? I just want my fiancée to be accepted into the family. This isn't about "condoning lying." If it was, then an apology for lying and her being honest about not wanting to bond with your fiancée friend would be sufficient. This is about you wanting to force your daughter to accept your fiancée, and punishing her if she doesn't. You can't force that and your approach isn't helping. You forced this whole weird situation on your daughter and it's not going how you hoped. Talk to your daughter about her concerns. You probably need to take a step back with your fiancée. ######

She made it very clear she does not want to have children. She is our 2nd adopted child. Unfortunately we have not been able to parent our own children, we tried our best. She has not been very receptive to our collective response, and has been very reclusive, out from the usual. Has been acting out, and physical at times. I love her so much. This is hurtful, to me and her, as we do not know how to respond properly. She is my beautiful daughter. ######

YTA even though you didn’t really ask. This reads more like boasting about your shitty choices. You don’t provide any details about adopting her. Was she a baby? Does she remember her real parents? Did she have a crappy life? Maybe she doesn’t want to have kids because she remembers what her life was like before she was adopted and it was traumatic. If she was a baby when adopted, maybe she’s just scared of being a crappy parent like you. ######

(23m) Just started dating this girl (21) for maybe two months now and she came over to hang yesterday. Her cycles are irregular due to her birth control and her periods can range from a month to several months. Accidents happen and she bled right through her underwear through her jeans. I gave her a spare of my boxers and some sweatpants that she could wear home. She asked if I would just throw her underwear in the wash with all my other clothes and she would come get them tomorrow when I see her again, I refused. We got into a big argument on why I should wash them for her. I wasn’t going to have a blood soaked underwear mixed in with my clothes. It was gross and disgusting and she could take it for herself. Eventually she just got mad and threw it in the trash. ######

YTA either sex ed has seriously failed you, or you have a phobia of blood. Also, do your gf a favor and break up, she doesn’t deserve that ######

Throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main.  I've been dating this girl for 8 months now. She's honestly amazing and I can almost see our future together. She has a 3 year old daughter from a past relationship, whom I've never met. I've seen pictures, videos, and heard her gush about her daughter but I've never formally met her.  Couple of days ago, I was out doing some small grocery shopping, I saw my girlfriend with her daughter in the store, I thought that it would be nice to approach her to say a quick hello. I tried to place a small kiss on her lips, but she dodged my kiss, which I found very rude and odd. Her daughter was very hyper, and quite sweet. She would enthusiastically wave and say hi to most people, including me. I offered to help her load her groceries in her car, but she politely declined. When she was instructing her daughter to say a proper goodbye, my girlfriend referred to me as her "friend" rather than her "boyfriend" which I thought was rather insulting.  When we were on a call, I asked her why she didn't introduce me formally to her daughter, didn't allow me to help her and why she dodged my kiss. I explained to her that I thought that her behavior towards me was rather cold, and unlike how she usually was. She apologized, but told me that I was slightly overreacting.  AITA? ######

YTA dude, she’s 3. She wouldn’t even understand what a ‘boyfriend’ is. And she doesn’t need to see people she doesn’t know be intimate with her mum, the kiss is inappropriate too until she knows you. You want to be with this woman, you have a lot to learn about what it takes to be a parent, trust and respect what she wants and how she wishes to raise her daughter. ######

I (m35) have a 16 year old daughter. I’ve been a single father since she was about 3 years old as I got sole legal custody due to some addiction issues her mother has. We have a really good relationship, but I always worry about her not having a woman to talk to. Over the past few months she hasn’t really seemed to be herself, I know she went through a bad break up but I’ve been worried it’s more than that. I’ve tried talking to her, and my sister only lives down the street so she’s tried talking to her also, but my daughter is really keeping to herself and it concerns me. She went out to see her friends for the first time since quarantine started yesterday and asked me if I could give her room a quick tidy whilst she was gone. I agreed because she does a lot of chores but she’s not good at cleaning her room. Whilst I was putting clothes back in her closet, I stumbled upon what I now know to be her diary. I shouldn’t have read past the first page but I just wanted to know if there was anything going on she wasn’t telling me about. There were some pretty heartbreaking stuff for a father to read about how down she felt about herself, so when she got home I brought it up to her. She asked me why this was suddenly coming up and when I told her I’d read her diary she absolutely flipped and told me it was an absolute violation of privacy and she’s completely humiliated. I told her I was just trying to protect her and she said it was none of my business and locked herself in her bedroom and hasn’t spoken to me since. AITA? ######

YTA dude you just violated her privacy big time. ######

Hey guys, I know the title sounds horrible but bear with me please. I (23M) have recently started using Tinder. In the beginning it was just for fun because I was bored. I had no expectations from it and no intentions of really meeting someone. I matched with a couple of girls and started texting with some of them, but it was usually just a small talk and it never became anything serious. About two weeks ago this girl texted me on Tinder. She looked a bit chubby and I don’t know why I swiped right, because that’s not really my type. Nevertheless I texted her back (probably because I was bored) and we started chatting. In went on for days and we really clicked. We had a lot in common and were texting almost every day, I was genuinely exited about her. We were talking about our friends, hobbies, family and pretty much everything. This went on for about two weeks and I asked her to meet in person. She was a bit shy and hesitant, but in the end we agreed to go on a dinner together. I made a reservation in a nice Italian restaurant in the city centre and we were supposed to meet there. I came about 5 minutes earlier and she came right on time. When I saw her I was a bit shocked, because she looked a lot different in reality. In her pictures she was a bit chubby but in reality she was straight up fat (I don’t know if she used old pictures, or photoshopped her body or if she just took the pictures in in right angles). She looked exited and started a conversation, but I just couldn’t. I told her that I expected something else, apologized, paid for my drink and left. When I came home my roommates asked how my date was and I told them. We had a pretty heated debate about this, because two of them thought I was a dick for leaving her like that just for having a couple more pounds and the other one though I didn’t do anything wrong. So what’s your opinion guys AITA? ######

YTA don’t swipe right on someone you wouldn’t want to actually go on a date with. She couldn’t have messaged you without you first swiping right. You said you clicked with her and YOU asked HER out on a date. Even if you weren’t attracted to her you could’ve at least finished the date and let her know nicely that you didn’t think it was going to work out instead of being a dick and leaving during drinks. You most likely destroyed this girls confidence because you think she’s fat. Only swipe on people you would actually sit through an entire date with asshole ######

So... title doesn’t sound great, but hear me out. My wife and I are both practical jokers and like to play around with our group of friends (and vice versa). Back in those heady days when we could still have people to dinner, we had a bunch of friends over to dinner and decided to have a bit of fun. We both like Hell’s Kitchen, and so thought it would be funny to recreate that while we were cooking for our friends. Basically, as we were preparing dinner I was acting as Ramsay and my wife as one of the sous chefs, and I was just ripping her. We tried to use the same lines as in Hell’s Kitchen so they would kind of get it and know we were joking. So really trying to recreate a high pressure kitchen environment and me coming out with all the classics (“THE FISH IS FXXKING RAW, WHAT THE FXXK IS GOING ON”, “YOU FXXKING DONKEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING”). We would periodically go out to refill drinks and check on our friends and be completely normal, and then go back to the kitchen and just let rip. We sat down to dinner and it was super uncomfortable, and so we told everyone how we were just joking and were acting as Ramsay. One of our friends started crying and said she used to be in an abusive relationship and it wasn’t funny to joke about that stuff. Dinner ended, everyone pissed and not talking to us. We had no idea and felt terrible. Edit: I didn’t want to make this too long, but just to be clear - we were super apologetic at the time and afterwards. Individually called/e-mailed her afterwards, plus e-mailed the group to say sorry. We weren’t trying to be dicks about it and felt terrible ######

YTA do that shit when you two are alone not when you’re hosting people. How are they supposed to take it when you’re screaming at her in the kitchen and they aren’t sure if you’re serious or not. ######

It was my birthday yesterday and about a week ago my wife asked me what I wanted to do / what to have the our kids ( 11 m, 13 f, and 15 f) get me (she gives them the money then they gift it to me) . I told her that I didn't want do anything for it and that the perfect birthday for me would be me being able to spend the entire day in my office not having anyone ask me do anything for them. You see, this quarantine has been very hard on me because I'm not used to spending this much time with my family as I usually work long hour days at my office with a pretty long commute, so my does most of the homemaking (she's a sahm). Because of working at home now and my kids are out of school, I have been overwhelmed. They are constantly asking me to do stuff and are overall annoying right. So I thought I could just get one day to relax without them badgering me. My wife was taken aback from my request and said that maybe we could do something small for my b day. I insisted that we do nothing for my birthday and that the best gift she could give me would be her handling all of the childcare that day. She told me "fine whatever" in a snarky tone and I didn't respond. She was weird with me up to my birthday, but I just ignored since I didn't want to fight with her. Yesterday (my birthday), I told my kids thanks for saying happy birthday and told them to not try to speak with me for the day since I would be relaxing. They seemed fine with it and that was that. I went along with my day and it was absolutely amazing. No cake, no kids, no wife, just relaxing. I honestly needed it. The problem is that now today my wife has been upset/bitchy with me and my kids have been basically ignoring me. It is honestly very immature imo. I just wanted one day to relax ffs, AITA? ######

YTA definitely. imagine how happy your children were that they were finally able to spend time with their father who normally is out working, only for you to turn around and tell them that the best gift they could give you is to not talk to you? You have totally made them feel unwanted and isolated. Not to mention your poor wife, the woman you MARRIED being told that all her husband wants is a day without her, after spending all her time cooking and cleaning and raising YOUR children? Totally awful thing for you to do, you are DEFINITELY the asshole here. ######

So I’m from an asian country. Socially to some extent it’s kinda less conservative than some, so people date and have sex and all that without much of a problem, but we’re still generally obsessed with getting into good colleges and going into profitable careers. The top colleges in that regard are American ones like Ivies, Stanford, MIT, etc. I ended up getting into 8 ‘top’ US colleges, which led to lots of parents just hounding me with questions about how I got in and what their kids need to do to get in. I told them I’d talk to their kids directly if they actually wanted advice, because I felt like I can be more real with kids around my age than adults. Some kids showed interest, so I set up a zoom call. In it, I talked about a lot of standard stuff— extracurriculars, grades, testing, essays. Someone asked me about social life and dating, and I told them honestly that I basically gave up my social life to grind 24/7— I had a pretty good social life to begin with since I’d say I was a friendly and chill guy, but I gave up a lot of social opportunities to work to secure my future. Someone brought up that I had dated a girl (smallish town, people know things), so I told him that I broke up with her because she and I had different goals— she wanted to have fun and make memories, I wanted to work hard, so we broke up and I worked hard and she made memories with other guys. I have no malice towards her for that. I did like her and I’m sad we weren’t compatible, but it is what it is. Anyhow, apparently people thought this was juicy gossip and it spread. It got back to her and she is pissed at me for ‘slut shaming’ her by saying she ‘made memories with other guys’. I don’t think that’s slut shaming, that’s just me stating facts— she dated some other guys after we broke up. It’s not meant to be derogatory, just facts. AITA? ######

YTA but lightly. You strike me as someone with relatively low emotional intelligence. Both by your choice of words to describe your ex as well as your responses to others. Did you state facts? Sure. Did you need to? No. You could have used any other type of general example to get your point across to those students that there’s a trade off to the success you had. It’s called ‘tact’ and you have very little of it. ######

My wife finally succumbed to cancer after a three year long battle. As her spouse, I had to take responsibility of her body. However, though we were legally spouses, for the last two and a half years my wife and I had been living apart. I had my own separate loft while the kids (13F,12F,10F) and her stayed in the house. My wife was not lucid for about a month before her death. As such, she had no ability to write or even dictate her will. In addition, during the past year I have found love again with my girlfriend (29), and she expressed that she was uncomfortable with me practically building a shrine for a woman from another relationship. I was also uncomfortable reliving memories with a woman who, for many years, was the cause of a lot of emotional trauma for me. All her insults and put downs made it impossible for me to stay in the house. In addition, a funeral will probably be fraught with tension from her side of the family. Therefore, I made the decision to donate her entire body to science and signed off on all the papers. Immediately my daughter notified the people on her side and they said that I was violating the Greek Orthodox beliefs she had held throughout her life. She demanded I try to reverse my decision but I said I couldn’t do that. AITA? I feel funerals are for the living and it wasn’t like I was not contributing her body to a good cause. I also do not know what exactly my late wife would have wanted for her funeral since she suddenly became unable to communicate. ######

YTA but let me explain. Donating a body to science is fine...if that is what they wanted. You claim you didn’t know what your late wife wanted- your daughter has just told you. You say funerals are for the living- that doesn’t just mean you it means her children and other relatives too. I don’t know if it’s too late for you to change the decision but if it is please do. While you had the legal control over your wife’s body, you should leave that decision to the people that would have know what she wanted. ######

I (32M) have been friends with Levi (34M) for 13 years, I wouldn’t say we’re exactly best friends but we see each other every Fri and Sat at the gym and every Sunday as our sons (8) go to the same club. When I was 15 my father remarried to my stepmother who’s daughter was 4 at the time, she’s 21 now and about to turn 22 in November, we’re actually really close so part of me is conflicted about this. When my sister was 17 she got pregnant with her daughter, her daughter is 4. I’ve known for about two years now that my friend has a thing for my sister but he’s married with two children so it’s harmless really. We got drunk a week ago to celebrate my promotion at work and got to the topic of my sister, he admitted he asked her out two years ago (despite being married) and she turned him down but then went on to say he’s shocked because he expected her to be easy. In the morning he apologised and I didn’t feel the need to mention it at all, we were both drunk and it didn’t mean anything. My wife doesn’t have the same view as me, so now whenever I meet up with Levi or text him she’ll start an argument with me about how it “shows a lot about the man I am” and that she’s disgusted and wants to tell my sister, she won’t tell my sister. Levi apologised and it’s not as though A) my sister knows and B) as though he meant it because he didn’t. I don’t want to throw away my friendship over something he didn’t even mean. AITA? ThrowRa as my sister doesn’t know. ######

YTA but if it's any consolation your friend is a bigger asshole. Maybe that's why you get along. Your married 32 year old friend hits on your 19 year old sister and then gets butthurt when she, a literal teenager, turns him down so he holds onto that resentment for two years before drunkenly confessing to you, her brother, that he was surprised she didn't jump at the opportunity to sleep with a gross married man because he thought she was easy. Your wife is right, why would you want to be friends with this creep? ######

We have a girl here in our swimming team who has very low self esteem, to the point that she is constantly calling herself slow, stupid, ugly, short, fat, dark, single, unloved... basically anything negative. Every time she does that, we would assure her with something like "No you are not (insert word), you are wonderful." And things like that so that she can feel better about herself. I may sound like 1 mean bitch but really, it is quite tiring sometimes to have someone saying something good about another person and this girl would make it all about her self esteem issue. We were having a zoom chat with the team to catch up with each other when I mentioned that my brother is engaged. We may not see a wedding any time soon but this is good news to share nevertheless. The other girls were like either asking me to say congratulations to my brother on their behalf or commenting(jokingly) about how jealous they are(my brother is very good looking). One even wanted to throw a surprise party on the couple. And then this girl, she came in to dampen the mood by saying how lucky my brother is, unlike her who is not liked by any boys because she is ugly and fat. The atmosphere turned a little awkward as she kept saying negative things about herself. I kind of said "Yups, couldn't agree more." And the it became even more awkward. She then started to throw a temper at me for being a bitch when all I did was to agree with what she said. The chat ended shortly and my friends were split between saying I shouldn't have said that and those who agree with me that we are tired of her shit already. What is your take reddit? ######

YTA but good lord it was a necessary evil. I fucking despise people who fish for compliments are reassurance like that. ######

Edit:- Sorry for the mistake I’m 39 and not 35 Basically title says it all. My (39M) step daughter (16F) did one of those adoption proposals, honestly it hurts to say, but I refused and did it as gently and respectfully as possible. She cried, like a lot, but she was very respectful of my decision. Her mother says I broke her heart and no matter what I can’t fix it. I have been in her life since she was 7, she met her bio-father twice when she was 14 and decided she didn’t want to anymore, although he keeps calling us to try to convince her, she seems determined she doesn’t want to see him, not for a specific reason according to her but because she doesn’t feel like it’s her dad. AITA reddit? Because I feel like one honestly ######

YTA but also there seems to be some missing information. Why did you turn down her proposal? Do you consider yourself to be a father figure to her? Ultimately it’s your decision but if you’re already playing a fatherly role to her then I don’t see why you turned down her adoption proposal. Just because she has a bio father and has met him a couple times doesn’t mean she views him as her father. ######

My girlfriend (20f) and I (36m) have been living together for about six months now. She has quite a lot of mental and physical health conditions. She has chronic migraines, hypermobile joints that are causing severe pain her wrists, chronic kidney disease and pernicious anaemia, as well as depression. She’s been struggling a lot over the past few weeks, a lot of headaches and pain in her wrists, but to me she’s doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She eats absolute junk and when she is feeling okay, she does absolutely no exercise or anything that could help her depression or her headaches. She’s so depressed she hasn’t even showered for maybe 2 weeks? The other night I tried initiating a conversation on getting her back to feeling okay and she got really pissed at me telling her I just don’t understand how she feels. I appreciate that I don’t but I replied telling her she does absolutely nothing to help herself so it’s her own fault she feels like shit all the time. We ended in a massive argument and she’s been cooped up in the spare room ever since. AITA? ######

YTA big time 1) Why are you 36 dating a 20 year old that ALREADY sets off so many separate flags 2) Depression is almost ALWAYS a side effect of chronic illnesses. 3) You think that at 20 years old she hasn't TRIED everything that would help with her chronic illnesses?????? You think you know her illnesses better than the person who's lived with them for I'm guessing at LEAST a good chunk of her life???? ######

My husband (28) and I (43) had a small birthday celebration for my daughter (15) in our backyard. She was able to eat and hang out with her two best friends. Everything goes fine until her stepdad walks out with a buddy of his to grab some chips and drink a bottle of beer. We have a very large deck and they were sitting in lawn chairs on the other side of it, yet my daughter kicks up a fuss and asks why they were there. She asks her stepfather to leave, and he says that this happens to be his deck, not hers. I tell her that’s no way to treat her stepfather. In response, she says that she’s going over to her friend’s house to finish the rest of her birthday cake. I was furious that she left despite my protests that she apologize to her stepdad first. For her birthday, I had agreed to buy her a laptop because she had previously complained about having to share the large home computer with her stepfather, who likes it for his graphic design work and asks her not to keep clearing the history on it. But I only agreed to buy her this on the condition that she keeps the peace around the house, and the blowup at the birthday party was the opposite of that. My husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn’t know if this will work out. I love him unconditionally. In addition, he was also being generous in allocating the deck when he could have said no. I ended up returning the laptop back to where I bought it. When my daughter got home, she called me a sellout and refuses to eat with either me or her stepfather. AITA? ######

YTA big time >My husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn’t know if this will work out. Your husband is also manipulating you. ⬆️ ######

I was babysitting 2 kids, 11 and 13 years old and I took them to the petting zoo. The goats were having sex and the kids were confused and asked me what they were doing and I tried to change the subject but they kept pestering me so I said they were having sex. They asked me what sex was so I told them. I didnt go into detail but I just said Male and female animaks, including humans, do that to create babies, the male does it and it makes the female pregnant. They kept asking more and more questions, I was shocked at this age they didnt know what sex was, so I told them a bit more and left. Parents found out and fired me and told me it was not my job to teach them that and were fucking pissed. Everyone else says in in the wrong here ######

YTA big time. You crossed a major boundary. The proper thing for you to have done would have been to say to the children something that could have eased into a transition onto another topic. Then, when you got home with the children you talk to the parents about what happened so they can be the ones to debrief with their kids on the birds and the bees. It is **never** your place to do so without the parents’ permission. YTA big time ######

My friend has desperately wanted a pair of Vans Classics but can't afford £60 for them. Today we met up and she had a pair on which I was surprised at but she was so excited to finally have a pair. I asked her where she got them from and she said eBay. I commented on the fact she's said she can't afford a pair but she said with a massive smile 'I got them for £15, someone was selling their old ones that they have barely worn'. The shoes did look pretty new but I told her wearing second hand shoes is disgusting as you don't know who's worn them before you and what germs they might be carrying on their feet. She told me to mind my own business as not everyone can afford brand new stuff and she grew up being dressed in charity shops due to her parents being poor. I told her clothes are different as you wash them before wearing them which she sharply replied 'well I'll wash these shoes if you're going to make such a big deal about it' and changed the subject. I'm starting to feel a bit bad now for what I said as she genuinely seemed hurt ######

YTA big time. People wearing second hand shoes is quite normal, and there was likely long enough that any 'germs' wouldnt be an issue anyway (or else you'd certainly smell it). Really a mean and entitled thing to say, I feel bad for her. I can't see anyone giving you anything but a YTA here and you'll probably break the rules by deleting it shortly. Also - ever tried on clothes or shoes in a store? yeah, you werent the first to try that on - and as I said, its likely the original owner hasnt worn them in ages but its possible 5 other people tried on that shoe that day. ######

Yesterday, I (26 m) and my partner (22 f) were driving to my parents’ house for lunch. As I was driving down the main road of the village we live in, a little girl (maybe 4ish?) suddenly shot off across the road in front of the car. I absolutely slammed down on the brakes, the car lurched and squealed, my partner who was speaking choked as the seatbelt tightened around her and it was all very sudden and frightening. I pounded my fist on the horn at the girl and rolled down the window at the visibly terrified mother who ran out to pull her back. I was really furious and started properly shouting at her, don’t remember exactly what was said but something like “Watch your child you fucking stupid bitch!” We rolled the window back up and carried on, but my partner was annoyed at me. She said I really shouldn’t have shouted and sworn at the mother and that she was very young (she looked like very early 20s) and must be really stressed rn. I said that she would have been a hell of a lot more stressed if her daughter had been killed because she couldn’t look after her properly. It blew up into quite an argument with her defending the mum, saying that the horn would have scared her enough and that it was really unnecessary for me to scream at her like that. I admit that I was slightly out of control with anger, but considering I very nearly killed a child because of her mother’s negligence and that shouting at her was not only justified because of the situation, but useful to startle her into keeping better hold of her daughter in future. AITA? ######

YTA because you're the type of person who thinks it's ever, ever ok to call a woman a "stupid bitch", much less in front of her child. It's even worse that you think being "out of control with anger" justifies your behaviour. That's a major red flag. Do better. ######

Myself (60M), my wife of 5 years, my son and his wife went out for lunch for my son’s birthday. I invited him because I wanted to see him on his birthday but knew they had plans to go away for the night later. We didn’t drink, so the bill came out to about $80. When the check came, my son pulled out cash, as did I. I looked at the bill for a bit without speaking, then he said “should we split it?” I said that worked for me. My wife got upset and told him that we would never let him pay for his birthday lunch. He said he was happy we were able to come and still have me half the money. I took it, because he had the opportunity to say he wanted me to pay, but my wife is now really upset and saying I acted cheap. Also, my son and his wife are both $25. They’re not super well off but both have jobs out of college, if that makes a difference. AITA for letting him pay half? ######

YTA because you should know by this point in your life that when you invite someone for something, especially out to a celebratory dinner or something along that vein, that you pay. ######

My wife is admittedly a gold digger and a damn good one. She always dated men who could take care of her and when I met her she was definitely looking for a husband to keep that up. I don’t care and I don’t think it means we never fell in love but she knew what she wanted. Most of the women in my circle don’t like her for obvious reasons but it’s been thirteen years and two children. I rarely use social media but she was showing me something on her Instagram the other day and I noticed that her bio said “mom, part time artist, full time gold digger” I told her that’s kind of embarrassing when I’m a respected professional and I already get enough shit for marrying her. She said I’m being prudish and stifling her. ######

YTA because you know what you signed up for. Both of you sound awful though. You married a shallow person and are shocked that's what you got? LOL. ######

Hey there umm this is my first post but I read a lot of storys and this one came up in my family and decided to post it here Backstory : so my cousin's family had a dog that they got two years ago at first they loved him then wanted him to become a security dog so he was locked in a cage most of the he pooped in the peed in it and when he was let out they'd tie him to light post for 20 minutes max and I'd always make passive aggressive remarks about this cause it's animal abuse Now here so about a week ago something happened to his leg and needed surgery, his surgery was scheduled this Tuesday, but the conditions he was living caused him illness then death So Reddit WIBTA if I tell my cousin's family their dog's death was their fault cause I don't think they notice it's their fault ######

YTA because you knew they were abusing their dog and you did nothing about it ######

I (29M) am engaged with my fiance (26F). My coworker (30F) and I are also decently close, as in we're somewhat friends (more than coworkers, less than friends). We were talking about my engagement and I told her about the ring I bought. It is a "cheap" ring with a zirkonia stone. It cost me around €220, which I still thought was relatively expensive. To me spending half your monthly salary on a ring is just a waste of money. Luckily my fiance always agreed with me so we never had any issues about that. My coworker mentioned how she expected a ring of at least a €1000 and if her boyfriend does not proposes with a ring like that she is going to say no. So I asked her, that if she was together with someone she really loved, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and he asked her to marry her with a cheaper ring, if she seriously would say no. She laughed and said of course. That is when I said that to me she would be unmarriageable because if you care more about the ring than about the person you are going to marry, that would be a hard pass for me. She made a face and called me an asshole and that it was just her opinion. Maybe I was a bit biased because to me the whole concept of asking someone to marry you with an expensive ring and expecting only the man to make "a grand gesture" is super sexist and outdated. So I felt a bit strongly about this subject. Disclaimer: My girlfriend got me something similarly priced for our engagement because of how I feel about this. So, AITA? ######

YTA because you jumped to "no one would ever marry you" instead of conceding different people value different things. to some people, the ring is a promise that's meant to be a grand gesture to prove the lengths and effort someone is willing to go for for their partner. sure, not everyone values that- even i don't, for the record- but it's got different significance and opinions, just like anything else. the only thing that matters is you and your partner and her and her partner agree on the value of what that object should be; no need for dramatic insult. ######

My ex [33m] and I [28f] dated on and off for three years. He met my sister maybe five times and I tried really hard to keep him distanced from my family because he had a borderline personality disorder and was a pathological liar who cheated on me the entire time. About a week ago I gave him her number and he immediately invited her to the beach and started texting her. My friends all said he was trying to get a rise out of me since I didn’t talk to him for two weeks because I moved on. I flipped out when my other sister texted me asking if they really were moving in with each other. He said I am being a crazy jealous person when I had no right to be over this because he moved on but so have I and he cheated a lot. She blocked his number after I flipped out for about two days but I’m still not sure if she’s going to unblock it. She let me read their conversation and he was blatantly lying to her about stuff that wasn’t true and when I started to get upset she took her phone away. Im still not sure if they are moving into together because she got scared when I tried to read the rest of the conversation. Am I the asshole for flipping out and making her block his number? ######

Yta because you created this entire mess. You gave him her number because you wanted her to move out and he needed a roommate, then you freaked out that they might move in together. yta for getting mad about it and yta for ever giving someone you paint so horribly your sister's phone number. ######

I’m a 26 year old woman my daughter is 4 and one of her friends is having a small birthday party. Well recently she was at a playground and another one of the girls there was bullying her. I noticed that the bully was also friends with the girl having the party. However I’m good friends with the mom of the birthday child so I asked her to uninvite her because I was pretty upset about what happened with my daughter. She told me that she will do that. AITA for doing this? ######

YTA because ultimately, you didn’t solve anything. You didn’t talk to the kids parents to discuss her behaviour, you just had her removed from a party by a third party. You acted pretty immaturely and took a backhanded approach rather than dealing with the issue head on. You basically just bullied a four year old. ######

My (32f) husband (35m) and I agreed to raise our daughter bilingually, however, he has been complaining about the fact that our daughter is identifying with my heritage and language more than his. He gets annoyed when my daughter and I speak in our language in front of him. I have told him multiple times to make an effort to learn. Heck, I even offered to pay! But he refuses to learn. When he told me that my language is a dead language and we should all just speak English was when I lost it. I have been sleeping on the couch ever since and am even considering a divorce because of how he is trying to stifle one half of our daughter's heritage. ######

YTA because this is clearly fiction. ######

To start this is my throwaway. I'm a mistress to a man who has to work from away from home about 1 week a month. His wife knows and said It was OK but I needed to sign a legal contract, and I agreed. Hes a business man and shes a horse breeder and owns like 10 stsbles. The legal contract says, I can live in their condo, they will give me a stipend of 2,500 a month, and they pay for utilities, and I get a 300 credit for food a month. Get a upfront payment to decorate the condo how I want, minus the lower level. Don't get pregnant or this all stops we will pay you 1 million nothing else and hes not the father and will terminate right as they want no kids. So occasionally there are weeks where I have to sleep somewhere else because she joins him or they are in town for vacation. About 5 weeks ago he told me I need to stay at a friends for 2 weeks as his wife and him are going to be using the condo for a vacation. I said ok and left. Well I come back and he got boudoir photos from her for their anniversary. He loves them and wants them the master bedroom. I stated I live here too and this is my bedroom 3 weeks out of the month and I would like them better in his office. He said no but I ended up moving them to the hallway toward the 2nd bedroom. Now I'm sleeping in the second bedroom. He got mad and said he paid for the condo and he can decorate it how he wants. I said its not fair because thats technically my bedroom all month. AITA for wanting my bedroom to stay decorated as my bedroom? ######

YTA because that isn’t your room. You noted you’re supposed to live in the upstairs master, which is your room and you get to decorate. The downstairs master is the husband and wife’s room, and they get to decorate it. You don’t get to set new rules for it because you like it’s bath and shower better. ######

I have made the decision to go vegan earlier this year. It has been something that I have felt calling me for some time, and this past spring, everything finally clicked and I could no longer bring myself to support the animal agriculture industry. As such, all the groceries I have decided to purchase and all the meals that I cook are now vegan. The problem is that I have been the main cook and grocery shopper in my household for 15 years. My son, and my husband are not interested in going vegan. They have been complaining almost daily since I "made the switch" I have no problem if they want to purchase and cook their own meat. Or doctor up the vegan meals that I made with cheese and diced ham or something. I just personally cannot bring myself to do it. They choose not to do this. My husband claims he doesn't have enough time to do so with his job, and my son is just being a typical teenage boy and is not interested in learning how to cook. I think I might be an asshole because by changing my lifestyle, it had a ripple effect and is changing theirs. However, I also don't think I am an asshole because this is important to me - I don't want to go against my morals. Plus they are big boys and are capable of feeding themselves. ######

YTA because of your comments further down about your son. In the time of covid, no more than 1 person should be doing the shopping, and since due to division of labor that falls on you, then you should buy all food for your family. Refusing to buy meat for them and expecting your 14 year old to bike 10 min to the store, shop for himself, and bike back, allowing excess covid exposure that isn't necessary is selfish on your part. You don't need to cook it for him, but you should provide it for him until he chooses to go vegan on his own. ######

We've been dating each other for a little over a year now and our relationship has been great with no problems and no complaints. Unfortunately I couldn't see her in person from March to like mid June cos of corona but we've been seeing each other again and going out quite regularly now for the past few weeks. Before this I never cared or had any problems about how she dressed but ever since we got back again she's been dressing in a very "lewd" manner. For example: She was wearing a dress where u could see around [this](https://www.thefashiontamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/sexy-club-dresses.jpg) much of her tits. She's also been wearing short af crop tops and short shorts (not together) quite regularly ever since. Now I don't normally have a problem with crop tops or short shorts but those r short af, like u can literally see half her ass. When we were at the park yesterday, I asked her how come she's been dressing really weird lately and she just said she wanted to try out new things. Then I said it was better when u dressed properly before, and she went really quiet and was just silent for a few secs before walking away. I asked her what's wrong and she told me to piss off so I didn't bother chasing her. I went home and saw that I had a couple of messages from her friends on insta and snap telling me I'm a misogynist for telling her how to dress and shit like "This isn't the 1950s anymore". I tried texting her asking her if we could talk about this in person properly but she left me on read. This morning I eventually apologized to her for what I said yesterday and asked if she would like to come over to talk about this properly or just message me but she left me on read again. Her friends been messaging me shit non stop since yesterday while she hasn't even replied. Idc about what her friends do or think of me tbh and now that I've thought this through I do think she's overreacting about this whole thing. What do u guys think though, AITA or nah?? ######

YTA because of how you handled it, not because it makes you uncomfortable. People have different beliefs and I don’t think it’s bad to be uncomfortable if you can just have an adult conversation about it and not come out judging. It’s her choice and her right to dress as she pleases, so if you have an adult conversation about it and cant reach an agreement, then maybe it’s time to separate, because you can’t control her choices about her body. ######

I (29M) and my gf (30F) moved in due to the pandemic. As a result of Covid, we have inevitably had to start working from home. We both work pretty difficult (sujectively) jobs that require a pretty significant amount of our time during the week + weekend. I would however say that my work is significantly more flexible in terms of when I work, I can work any time of day 24 hours a day. I just try my best to manage my time and squeeze in 40-50 hours a week. This is not to say that I take it easy, rather my job is very mentally draining and I cant focus on it for more than a few hours at a time without feeling exhausted. Her work however is more rigid in its hours and is a pretty constant 8-6 (think calls and meetings) with "breaks". Issue: The challenge has been that Covid has really ramped up her quantity of work. By her own admission, this has been one of the toughest years (I dont doubt) -- therefore she has to sometimes work 60+ hours a week. We have mostly managed by me taking greater responsibilities around the house and to cook and clean--all of which I have absolutely no problem in and generally enjoy. However, the months on end of doing this have started to ware away at my enthusiam. Ultimately, the other day, after doing the majority of house duties for the day, the straw that broke the camels back was her working past midnight noting that she started work at 7:30/8 am. Its important to state that I have nothing against workaholics but rather, is it fair for me to be annoyed and frustrated. Following this, we got into a fight about the division of work around the house and "fairness". I'm not suggesting that all housework should be 50/50, it shoud be allocated more to the "free" person but considering we both have full-time jobs, I don't know how I can possibly sustain this without feeling like a placemat. Help me reddit, AITA for requesting that whatever she do, she should finish work by 10:30 pm and help me more around the house. ######

YTA because of how little empathy you seem to have for her and how selfish you’re being. You’re acting like she’s deliberating working more, when she’s clearly stated to you that work has gotten very demanding for her. Who the hell WANTS to work from 7:30 to midnight days on end?? Please think about this for a second. Yes doing all the chores sucks, but she’s not just skipping out on chores playing games or something— she clearly feels her job (and her income!) depends on working this hard. Given the circumstances, 50/50 is unreasonable to expect (as you’ve said). If you really want some kind of improvement, you need to set your expectations really low. Maybe there’s a chore she can do easily right before bed (taking out the trash, wiping the counters, etc) that you can ask her to do. Don’t go into a conversation about chores with the “I have to do so much housework because you’re CHOOSING to be a workaholic” attitude you’re showing here. While it’s true that you guys are both working full time jobs, it’s also true that she has fewer free hours because of work than you. ######

I (21M) have been with her (21F) for a year now. Recently, she did something which many people would consider to be not the smartest decision in our current environment (social distancing). Anyway, she, as a very social college student did something monumentally stupid and hosted a party with about 20 people. My girlfriend, this one guy, and I were all randomly assigned to the same breakout room during a zoom class. We both knew they guy, and he asked my girlfriend about it then proceeded to call her a "sluty bitch" for hosting a party when it was this dangerous. Now personally, I was very disappointed in my girlfriend for doing this, so when that guy said what he did, I didn't really say anything besides saying that that was kinda harsh but that my gf shouldn't have done that. That's what I said on zoom. My girlfriend is really mad about me not totally defending her despite her being in the wrong action-wise. So AITA for not defending her? ######

YTA because her throwing a party doesn’t make her the name that she was called. Honestly the insult made no sense and at the very least you should have corrected him even if you didn’t agree with her throwing the party ######

For those of you who don't know a quinceanera is a coming of age party in the hispanic culture for a girl turning fifteen. To a lot of people in our community it is more important than a wedding and they save since the girl is born. My wife and I are a very traditional hispanic couple, trying to raise our children in a predominantly white neighborhood. I've worked extremely hard so my children do not have to grow up like we did. We only have one daughter and I'm proud of the money we've been able to put aside for her quinceanera. My daughter is thirteen and a half, but my wife is eager to start planning. She has been waiting for this since she found our we were having a girl. I know my wife hates that our kids are growing up in such a white neighborhood. We both feel torn between giving them a better life and our culture being lost. Well my daughter shocked us both tonight when she said she didn't want one, because she is too shy and uncomfortable with the attention. My wife and daughter had a fight and then my wife stormed off in tears. I told my daughter I'm not going to force her, because I'm not going to waste that sort of money but I think she is being very selfish. My wife stays at home, takes care of the kids every day, drives them around, cooks, and this is the only thing she asked for. I feel sick that she only had one daughter and she is never going to get to experience this. I told my daughter that after everything her mother does for her she should suck it up for one day and that is she is this selfish she will regret it in the future. My daughter says I don't understand anything. I'm not sure if I should feel like an asshole. ######

YTA because by telling her she's selfish for not wanting a party that should be focused on her, you're actually telling her it's not about her at all. You'd rather your daughter be uncomfortable for the sake of appearances. Sounds like you want a chance to show off at the expense of doing something your daughter doesn't want. ######

I ordered some lunch through Door Dash today. However I forgot to request some dipping sauce for my chicken, so once my delivery driver got the order I gave her a call to let her know. Her phone rang once then went straight to voicemail. Obvious ignore. A moment later I received a text message saying (copy-pasted): Thanks for calling! Right now I’m driving either to a restaurant or to a delivery location. Feel free to text me and I’ll respond once I’m no longer driving. I thought this was pretty rude and silly, because no respectable employee would ignore a customer like that and no respectable business would allow their employees to do so. I immediately called her back, same thing happened. I called a third time, hoping she would get the hint. Still, same thing happened. I was frustrated and upset, so I cancelled my order. I wasn’t able to report the driver through the app since she never even picked up my order, so I ended up calling door dash support directly to let them know that a driver was ignoring me. All they said was they’d take care of it. A bit later my girlfriend was wondering where our food was, so I explained the whole situation. She looked confused and asked why I didn’t just text her like the message said, and I told her that it was a matter of principle—I am the customer and the driver doesn’t get to pick and choose how to do her job. She argued that it’s perfectly reasonable for people to not want to take phone calls while driving, especially with the stormy weather we’re having today. I argued back that if the driver is willing to cut corners over bad weather then maybe she should stay home. My girlfriend called me an asshole and then left to get us our lunch. So Reddit, am I *actually* the asshole or is it not reasonable for me to expect my delivery driver to communicate with me? ######

YTA as you sound like an entitled ass. You probably experienced an auto reply from a responsible driver who didn't want to talk about dipping sauce and drive an automobile and not someone ignoring your precious self. Such an asshole. ######

Me and my wife (both 45) have a son(18M) .Recently he came out to us .I was shocked but accepted it .My wife did not and started being distant with him and searching for potential girlfriends for him . I told him to go to his grandparent's house for the time being until i make his mother understand.He left, but not before cursing me for taking my wife's side over him. I don't want to lose both of them that is why i made this compromise .AITA for asking my son to leave the house ? ######

YTA and your wife is a shitty person. You're punishing your son because your wife is a shitty person. You are both failures as parents. You WILL lose your son over this so you have chosen the shitty person over your child who has done nothing wrong and just needs your support. I hope you're happy with yourself. Bring your son back and send your wife away until she learns how to not be a shitty person. ######

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years, I’m 21 and she’s 19. She’s currently living with me and my parents after an argument with her parents, I won’t go into the reason but I don’t think she’ll go back to speaking with them. My friends have a friend, “Brad”, Brad is a doctor around 40 and married. My girlfriend has always put an effort into her appearance but whenever we get told Brad is visiting it’s like she goes to the max; she’ll shower for 20minutes, literally scrub herself raw, shower for 30mins-40mins and absolutely smothers herself in perfume - as my grandmother would say she smells like a whores handbag. I’m not worried about Brad being a problem, I trust my girlfriend and realise she just has a problem with male role models in her life and Brad has his shit together so she looks up to him. Brad had visited two nights ago and was sat in the living room speaking to my parents when he asked me and her when we were planning on having children since she’s great with my younger brother (5) My girlfriend gets super awkward around the topic of children because despite wanting to teach we got told that the chances of us having a biological child was slim because of lack of regular ovulation, plus at our age we’re not really thinking about it. My mother has caught up on my girlfriends liking of Brad and knows why and kind of just said “Oh, I think she’d rather have them with you! Can’t blame her, who wouldn’t?!” As a joke, everyone laughed and continued. My girlfriend is really upset with me for not speaking up because she apparently can’t because she’s staying with us rent free (even though she babysits,cooks and cleans for free) My mother did apologise in the end but she kind of laughed too so I don’t think it counts. AITA? ######

YTA and your mother is also TA. Poor gf and poor Brad, what an awful uncomfortable joke ######

My girls are 6 and 4 and they live with their mother, stepfather and 2 brothers that are 2 and a newborn. I have them every other weekend. I’m married and also have a son. Well my kids came over and they had been gushing over how their stepdad bought them a trampoline and how he would hold their hands and bounce them up high. So I asked what all her and stepdad did together and she said “well at nighttime we all get in mommy and his bed and we watch a movie. Then he makes us a bedtime snack and gives us a glass a milk. When he comes home he plays games with us and plays on the trampoline with us. Then we all go and take care of the chickens together. Then she said sometimes him and her lay in bed and watch cartoons or she plays games on his phone with him but she lays on his back or lays her head in his legs. I find that inappropriate. I don’t think my ex wife should have had another man around my girls since men can sometimes do unspeakable acts to children. I told my daughters that he loves his children and that he couldn’t love them like a real parent does . This upset my daughter and my wife overheard and she is furious with me as well asking if I meant that she didn’t love them as much as our son and I said well yeah since you didn’t give birth to them. Now she isn’t speaking to me and my daughters were crying before they left. I just don’t want them to lay in bed with a grown man and think that he loves them like he’s a parent when he could have ulterior motives. AITA? ######

YTA and your jealousy is affecting your relationship with your children ######

Throwaway bc family could see. I (31F) have one son, 3M. He’s very sweet, calm, low-maintenance, and a great kid. I lucked out with him. We asked one of his daycare providers, B, to watch him for 5 hours, from 1-6 since I had to work. B knows he’s an easy kid and she knows him well, so she went with a lower charge, and we agreed on $50 for the whole time. It wasn’t discussed in terms of hours, rather we agreed that $50 for the time she was there was sufficient. Well, there ended up being a situation at work that prevented me from getting home at 6, so I wasn’t able to relieve her until around 6:45. My husband works from 11 AM to 8 PM, so him relieving her was out of the question. When I got there, she seem to be in a hurry to get out of the house. I understand that I was late, but as a person who works with kids and their parents, she is well aware that things come up. I handed her a $50 bill and she thanked me, but asked for $7 more. I told her that she got the 50 she agreed on, but she said that since I was 45 mins late and I was paying her $10 an hour, she had earned $7 more for an extra 45 mins. I told her that’s not what we agreed on. We agreed on $50, and it shouldn’t matter that I was late because we didn’t discuss it in terms of hours. She argued that I agreed I would be home at six and didn’t adhere to that either, but it’s an entirely different story. I ended up only giving her $50 and showing her out of the house. I’ll admit that she did a great job with my son. But in my opinion she had no right to ask for more. My husband and mother both think that I was being an asshole. I don’t agree. AITA? ######

YTA and your husband is so awesome for giving her an extra $50! He sounds like a really nice guy. He must be so embarrassed by your behavior. ######

Throwaway account. My best friend had asked me if I was available one night and if I was could I pick her up from a party as she didn’t have a lift and felt really uncomfortable being in a uber or taxi late at night. I said of course I would pick her up. Later that night my boyfriend texted me asking to hang out. So we did. I totally forgot about my friend and it wasn’t until I looked at my phone and saw her various texts and missed calls. She got home safe in the end because her BF brother woke up to pick her up. I apologised a lot and she seemed to have accepted the apology but her texts were really dry..? My bf said that she shouldn’t have been drinking if she knew she didn’t have a lift home and that I shouldn’t really worry about her lack of responses... AITA in this situation? ######

YTA and your bf sucks too. You should completely feel worried because she likely won’t trust you again. You forgot about her and her physical safety because you were with your bf. That’s super shitty and shows how little regard you have for her. She was responsible and arranged a ride because she would be drinking, your bf has no right to call her irresponsible because she did in fact have a ride home, that ride just decided not to give af about their friend. YTA YTA YTA ######

I’m a 26 year old woman my daughter is 4 and one of her friends is having a small birthday party. Well recently she was at a playground and another one of the girls there was bullying her. I noticed that the bully was also friends with the girl having the party. However I’m good friends with the mom of the birthday child so I asked her to uninvite her because I was pretty upset about what happened with my daughter. She told me that she will do that. AITA for doing this? ######

YTA and you're also a bully. They are four years old. It is ridiculous that you would have the child uninvited from someone else's party because of how you perceived her interaction with your child. What kind of Queen Bee Mean Girl BS is that?!?!? ######

The tile sounds bad, but let me offer some backstory. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up right before the pandemic started and recently got back together over the summer. I am attending a University in the city and I needed to get an apartment for my research opportunities. All of the dorms in the area are closed or vacating rooms due to classes online and in effort for my girlfriend to get away from her small town and overbearing parents, she asked if she could stay with me. This was fine because I had money to completely cover the lease and I was aware of how her parents treated her and her need to get away. Upon coming to the apartment, weeks have gone by and we argue very frequently and at times it becomes a toxic environment. She is the type to storm off and leave while disappearing for hours when she is mad, often going to friends houses or taking a drive. She wants me to drive her back to her home state so she can live here with her car and I made it very clear that I was against this. HERE is the issue, because of the current pandemic and how absent minded she gets when she is upset, with a car I know she will be around a lot of people I dont know, going to certain event, ect. I AM NOT comfortable with this considering that I value my well being and have been taking steps to ensure our safety. I said if she brings her car up here then she will have to find some other place to live, and even offered to help pay the down payment. I told her that I have no issue with her taking my car to go to work, or go to necessary places, but I know having her car up here will give her the freedom to be willingly ignorant to safety just because she can. I asked my friends and they said I am being too controlling and scared of the pandemic, what do you think? tl;dr My girlfriend lives in my apartment and want to bring her car from her hometown so she has freedom to go where she wants when she wants. I am uncomfortable with this. ######

YTA and y'all both sound toxic ass hell. Break up and be done with it. Also learn to be less controlling ######

My cousin \[18F\] finished high school some time ago and made a post on Facebook that she now decided to give her books for free and if we need the books to contact her. Luckily, I was one of the first to see the post and immediately messaged her because I need the books for this year and next and they are ridiculously expensive ($50-60 per book). So we talked and stuff and in the end we established that she’s going to give me most of the books. I was happy and all until she told me that I will have to pay for transportation. Here is where I lost it because transporting books from her country to mine is expensive and I in no way am going to pay that much money. I might as well just buy the books myself instead of getting the second hand books. We had a huge argument which ended up with her blocking me which made me even more pissed and I commented on the fb post that in reality she isn’t giving the stuff for free (so that the others won’t waste time like I did). AITA here? Or is my cousin the asshole for not announcing on the post that transportation WON’T be free? Also if u guys have any advice on how she could make the transportation costs cheaper plzzzzzz dm me and I’ll give you the details. DON’T comment your advice here though because Rule 9. If this still breaks the rule I’ll remove this paragraph. ######

YTA and this belongs on r/choosingbeggars ######

Yesterday it was my daughter's 15th birthday and I took her out shopping. I asked her what she wanted to get as a gift and she mentioned she would like to get some piercings. My daughter for the past year has wanted to get several piercings but I thought she was too young. When she asked me for her birthday I told her we will go to the piercing parlour and check with the pierced on whether she was now old enough. I texted my husband that I was taking our daughter to get pierced and he just replied with a surprised face emoji. We then went off to the piercing shop. When we got to the piercing shop we asked a lot of questions and they told us they can do up to 4 piercings in one session. My daughter decided she wanted to do 4 as she was waiting so long and decided she would get 2 in her lower lip, nose and belly. When we got home my daughter was very excited to show her father her new piercings. He kind of freaked and told her she has ruined her face and will no longer be able to get a job. I told him why he was so upset given he knew our daughter had wanted piercings and he just replied that he thought she was just going to get ear piercings. He now keeps going on about how our daughter is not going to get into a good college now and how I have ruined her future. AITA here? ######

YTA and the piercer you went to was irresponsible for agreeing to give *four* piercings to a minor who has never had a single piercing before. Especially a piercing that requires more stringent care like a navel piercing. Whatever people in the comments might tell you, yes people still have hang ups around facial piercings in 2020, and yes they may impact on your daughter’s ability to find work. I doubt she’ll find herself unemployable, but it only takes running into one stuck-up boomer recruiter to get turned down for a job you were otherwise qualified for. I don’t think that’s necessarily a reason not to get piercings, but your daughter is 15 and cannot make informed choices regarding her future professional life because she simply doesn’t have the lived experience yet. Most piercing shops in my area won’t do any piercings besides basic lobe piercings on anyone under 18. I’ve had a ton of piercings in my time and know they’re a pain to care for when they’re healing, and can take a long time to stop feeling tender. Caring for four piercings at once sounds like a pain in the ass. The best you can do now is help make sure your daughter is looking after them properly and make sure she doesn’t rush the process. No changing the jewellery until your piercer says it’s okay to do so (even if, again, I’m loath to trust the judgement of any piercer who would perform four piercings on a minor in a single session). ######

My wife was pregnant at the time so I was carrying her luggage. The airline had a policy of 2 bags per person. I had 3 bags and she had none. We go to board our plane and the airline employee tells us we can't enter and we need to check one of our luggage in as its 2 per person. I said we're together and its only 3 bags per 2 people. We spent 5 minutes trying to explain it and this person was too fuckign stupid to understand it. I put one of hte bags in my wife's hands and I said, "look you fucking dumbass, I have 2, she has one, now its 2 or less per person, is this good enough" he says ok and I said "fuckign hell, great lets get out of here, Fucking dumbass sack of shit" The person behind us in line happened to be in front of us in line and tells us we were so rude to the airline attendant and I told him to leave us alone. Fucking hell ######

YTA and May want go to anger therapy if you cuss people out on a regular basis since this is your second post about cussing people out... ######

My husband (28) and I (43) had a small birthday celebration for my daughter (15) in our backyard. She was able to eat and hang out with her two best friends. Everything goes fine until her stepdad walks out with a buddy of his to grab some chips and drink a bottle of beer. We have a very large deck and they were sitting in lawn chairs on the other side of it, yet my daughter kicks up a fuss and asks why they were there. She asks her stepfather to leave, and he says that this happens to be his deck, not hers. I tell her that’s no way to treat her stepfather. In response, she says that she’s going over to her friend’s house to finish the rest of her birthday cake. I was furious that she left despite my protests that she apologize to her stepdad first. For her birthday, I had agreed to buy her a laptop because she had previously complained about having to share the large home computer with her stepfather, who likes it for his graphic design work and asks her not to keep clearing the history on it. But I only agreed to buy her this on the condition that she keeps the peace around the house, and the blowup at the birthday party was the opposite of that. My husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn’t know if this will work out. I love him unconditionally. In addition, he was also being generous in allocating the deck when he could have said no. I ended up returning the laptop back to where I bought it. When my daughter got home, she called me a sellout and refuses to eat with either me or her stepfather. AITA? ######

YTA and let's review the red flags and assholery together. >My husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn’t know if this will work out. You husband tells you that he doesn't know if this is going to work out. This being your marriage! He literally questions your relationship but here you are, putting him over your daughter. Guess who will ALWAYS be your family? Her. >I love him unconditionally. In addition, he was also being generous in allocating the deck when he could have said no. You love him so much that you put him over your daughter and ignore all the red flags. And him "being generous" by letting her use PART of the deck on her own birthday... what the hell is this? Is it not YOUR house too? Your daughter wanted to hang with friends and he intruded with his friends on HER birthday. She then left to be with her friends and your response is to get angry at her and return a gift. A gift she honestly needs for school, not just for fun. Congrats on alienating your daughter. Keep it up and when your husband finally leaves you since he's not sure if "this will work out" you'll be completely alone since she won't want anything to do with you either. ######

Recently I started dating a girl who lost about 10-15 pounds before we got together. She struggles with her weight a lot, and I try to be encouraging to her. She even asks me questions from time to time such as “do I even look different than I did when I weighed more?” And I tell her yes, I think you look different and you look more attractive this way. I told her that she looks more attractive than before she lost the weight (from 150 to 140 lbs). I said this with the goal being positive feedback and to encourage her healthier decisions now that she’s at a lower weight. However, her friends and sister all told me that I was a dick for telling her this. They are claiming that “her worth is not associated with her weight”. This I completely agree with but somehow I have to be attracted to her the same even if she gains a ton of weight. Am I the asshole? ######

YTA and Ill tell you why. She asked if she “looked different”, a proper response from you would help her feel validated in her >progress<. It would make her feel like her work is paying off and would make her feel good about herself if you had said something like “yeah you can totally tell” etc. When you said “you look more attractive this way than the other way” that’s a backhanded compliment. You’re basically validating the insecurity that if she’s thinner she’s more valued (more attractive) than if she’s bigger. You would’ve been encouraging by saying “yes you look great now”! You didn’t have to do a comparison. ######

My daughter is eleven and at her school they were having an event where they could dress up as a character from their favorite movie. She told me she wanted to dress up as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I told her wouldn’t it be kind of immature for a sixth grader to dress up as Belle. On Thursday (the day before the event) I suggested loads of things she could have been but she turned them all down so she ended up not going as anything and when she came back from school on Friday she was furious that I didn’t let her dress up. She said she had everything prepared and she told a girl at school about this and she was on my daughter’s side. I then asked her if she’d really say that Beauty and the Beast is her *favorite* movie. Even though it’s Saturday now, I can tell she’s still upset at me because of this. I really don’t think it’s a big deal but I do think I legitimately hurt my daughter’s feelings. ######

YTA and I seriously hope this is a troll. Who gives a damn what your 11yo child dresses up as for school ######

So a throwaway When I (M19) first started dating my girlfriend (F18) she has body confidence issues and was a bit on the chubby side and didn’t like to show her body. I told her that confidence was very attractive and that being unconfident like she was was really unattractive. A couple of my female friends are very confident in themselves and posts photos of themselves on Instagram and snapchat. I told her that she is beautiful and that her body really isn’t an issue and that maybe she could as my friends for some tips. She then started a diet and exercising and lost a lot of weight and is pretty toned now. Obviously my girlfriend was always attractive regardless. Now she’s started to posts photos of her in crop tops and her workout gear and is getting a lot of attention. She’s always snapchatting her at the gym and her in minimal clothing ( pants and a work out bra) sometimes just in clothes that show cleavage as well. My male friends keep liking all her posts and making comments about how happy and great she looks. I didn’t appreciate them making comments on my girlfriend nor her posting continuously. I talked to her about how I felt and she seemed taken aback. She said that I was the one who kept telling her to gain confidence and kept shoving pictures of my friends in her face all the time and it made her feel worthless and not good enough. I told her that I didn’t mean to show her body to everybody - she argued she was never revealing her body in a provocative way. We fought about it and she said that I’m being an ass because I was the one who compared her to my female friends and now I don’t appreciate when she built confidence for herself. We got into a massive argument over it and I honestly feel like she isn’t listening and is liking this new attention. AITA here? ######

YTA and I hope she dumps you for someone who won't tell her to ask their female friends for tips on how to get more attractive. Yikes. ######

Okay so I remember when I was at the gym one day and I was looking for a song on Spotify to jam out to while my workout routine. This lady started circling around me and pretending to look at her watch (she doesn’t have one LMAO) and she finally went up to me and was like “Can I use this machine because you’re not using it and ur on your phone young lady? People like me are waiting” and I said “okay Karen, if you insist” and got up ######

YTA and I have the feeling that you know it but don’t want to admit it. ######

I'm getting married next month. 6 months ago, I decided on a bridesmaids dress from amazon. I told each person individually what they were to get. It was cheap. Everyone ordered it and recieved their packages a while ago. Except one girl, however. She decided to order it 4 months ago rather than 6. I know she was losing weight or focusing on losing weight, so she wanted to wait or something? Anyways, I didn't know that at the time. She messaged me two weeks ago saying she didnt know what to do because the seller from amazon refused to ship her packages. They apparently told her that it was shipped and on its way to arrive in late august four months ago, but when it didn't arrive she messaged them. They apologized and told her they couldn't ship and forgot to tell her. She sent the proof that this had happened. But I didn't care. The rest of my bridesmaids ordered when I had told them what the dress was and recieved their packages. I'm already stressed out and to me, no excuses can even be made for her. She said she found another place that would ship, but I told her I didn't want someone so careless in my wedding. She should have ordered when she was supposed to, and I'm so angry at the fact she would add onto my stress. AITA for kicking her out of my wedding? ######

YTA and hello bridezilla. She waited two months which normally wouldn’t have made a difference. It only did due to something completely out of her control, poor communication from the seller YOU chose, and by the time she contacted you she had already identified another alternative. ######

My wife and I live in a three bedroom home. We probably will move sooner or later but not for a few years, so in the long run these problems will get resolved before too long. One of the two spare bedrooms (my hobby room) is about 33-50% larger than the other spare bedroom. My wife wants me to move my hobby stuff out of the larger room and into the smaller room so the nursery can be the larger room. The problem with this is that the hobby room is set up exactly the way I need it. I even built work benches in the room for my projects. The other problem is that there is no way I can fit all of the stuff in my hobby room into the smaller room, so that means it will need to be stored in the garage or in a storage unit. That is not only inconvenient but it is impracticable. There is no reason why the smaller room won't work for the nursery. It is easy enough to order furniture and base our design on the size of the room so that we have everything we need. We have had many conversations about this but I haven't changed my mind and don't see it changing unless I am out of line. She is trying to turn it into a referendum on how I feel about her or the baby, so she thinks I am being selfish/assholish. But she still hasn't explained to me why the nursery needs to be that large. AITA? ######

YTA and could probably use a read up on childhood development if you think your kid isn’t going to be getting into this stuff soon. My son walked by 11 months and shortly after a year he was climbing counters and trying to get into everything. ######

So my first time writing here I will try to do my best! &amp;#x200B; Last weekend we went to this nice lake where you could swim and have picnics and parking was absolutely packed. Our region has done really well with covid-19 and this was up north so not many people. regardless the parking was packed and we found a parking spot far away and we had our grandma with us as well. she is old and so walking isn't exactly easy for her especially in 30-degree centigrade weather. While we were finding a picnic spot a parking spot opened up right next too where we wanted too set up our picnic. I quickly stood in the parking spot to prevent another person to park in it. while my dad brought my grandma in the car. people came by and I told them we had a senior with us and they moved on. but this one couple got really mad and started arguing about how too we should park in the handicap zone (the lake didn't have one) and just swearing overall, he was holding up all the cars behind him and people were getting cheesed af. I still kept my ground until he eventually moved on. &amp;#x200B; I know it isn't the most climactic situation, but I am curious am I the Ass Hole? ######

YTA and come across as entitled. You could have dropped your grandmother off and then found a parking somewhere else. ######

My roommate and I (both 20f) don’t know each other that well. We have mutual friends who both knew we needed roommates at the beginning of the year, so set us up. We’re not in the apartment at the same time very often, so I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we don’t dislike each other. At the beginning of last week, my roommate told me she was going to go back to her hometown (about 2 hours away) because her dad was sick and she wanted to be with her family. I said okay, see you when you’re back, the usual. That night, I invited my boyfriend over and we ended up getting a bit drunk, which resulted in him puking red wine all over my bed. It was like 3am at this point, and I was tipsy, so I dragged him over to my roommates bed and we both fell asleep. The next morning my boyfriend went home, but I was hungover and didn’t want to wash my sheets yet, so I just stayed in my roommates bed. I ended up sleeping and staying in my roommates bed for the rest of the week. She came back to the apartment on Monday whilst I was out shopping, and I came back to her questioning as to why there was a phone charger on her bed. I told her that I’d been sleeping in her bed because of the red wine puke, expecting her to just find it amusing, but she was absolutely disgusted and called me a slob because I didn’t wash my sheets. She then demanded I change her sheets because my boyfriend and I had both slept in them and I refused saying they were hers so she should clean them. She’s now saying that I crossed a line and that she’s going to start looking for a new roommate. AITA? ######

YTA and clean up after yourself! It shouldn’t take a week to wash a sheet. ######

Here is a light aita for you guys. It's to settle a years long argument between my sibling and I.( Don't worry we love each other and the story is more amusing than anything) Years ago, my older sister(25) and I(18) were on a family holiday at an amusement park. She bought a cinnamon roll for us to split. We shared it by taking turns unrolling a bit, tearing it off, and eating it.( It was one of those large swirly ones). Finally it was down to the core of the cinnamon roll and it was my turn. I didn't want to eat all of it so I decided to bite it in half, from the top. To this day my sister maintains that I'm a monster for biting the "objectively best part" and I maintain that I was being kind by leaving her half even though it was my turn. So, reddit, AITA? ######

YTA and a monster :) ######

Hear me out pls!! My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago. She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time. Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page's following. She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone, replying to me with one or two words like "haha nice" or "okay". We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so. Last weekend she brought cookies for me &amp; my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend. During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity. I went to her FB and deleted the page &amp; her profile so she can't recover the page. She was PISSED when she noticed what i had done. I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn't understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn't talked to me since then, which is making me think i might have fcked up. So, reddit....AITA?? ######

YTA and a jealous one at that. How are you even in a relationship when you're this immature? ######

A while ago, I finally got some time off work and was excited to spend some alone time with my wife, even suggesting we go on a vacation since it's been so long. My wife, however, refused to stop working to even talk to me. She's in politics and we're in the middle of a war right now, so I partly understand, but I still think that our relationship should come first, no matter what. We're in a situation where we're not allowed to be open with our marriage, so any time we can get together is important. When I told her this, though, she got upset and kept saying that her work needs to come first and that it's really important. I wasn't going to submit this originally, but recently we were looking forward to a night off alone together, when I got called into work. I had to go in because I would have gotten in serious trouble if I hadn't, and she got upset and sad that I had to go. It got me thinking about whether or not I was the asshole back then. AITA? ######

YTA Anakin! Let Padme do her thing! ######

I ordered some lunch through Door Dash today. However I forgot to request some dipping sauce for my chicken, so once my delivery driver got the order I gave her a call to let her know. Her phone rang once then went straight to voicemail. Obvious ignore. A moment later I received a text message saying (copy-pasted): Thanks for calling! Right now I’m driving either to a restaurant or to a delivery location. Feel free to text me and I’ll respond once I’m no longer driving. I thought this was pretty rude and silly, because no respectable employee would ignore a customer like that and no respectable business would allow their employees to do so. I immediately called her back, same thing happened. I called a third time, hoping she would get the hint. Still, same thing happened. I was frustrated and upset, so I cancelled my order. I wasn’t able to report the driver through the app since she never even picked up my order, so I ended up calling door dash support directly to let them know that a driver was ignoring me. All they said was they’d take care of it. A bit later my girlfriend was wondering where our food was, so I explained the whole situation. She looked confused and asked why I didn’t just text her like the message said, and I told her that it was a matter of principle—I am the customer and the driver doesn’t get to pick and choose how to do her job. She argued that it’s perfectly reasonable for people to not want to take phone calls while driving, especially with the stormy weather we’re having today. I argued back that if the driver is willing to cut corners over bad weather then maybe she should stay home. My girlfriend called me an asshole and then left to get us our lunch. So Reddit, am I *actually* the asshole or is it not reasonable for me to expect my delivery driver to communicate with me? ######

YTA absolutely. They likely have that response set up through door dash precisely so they CANNOT talk while driving since door dash would likely get the shit sued out of them if a driver driving for them had an accident while on the phone with a customer. And how rude of you to immediately assume someone was ignoring you in the first place. And then to report it to door dash? Over some dipping sauces that YOU forgot? Unreal. Edit: typo ######

My gf was walking from work to her home today and wanted to talk on the phone. We are currently long distance because of the pandemic, so I'm kind of used to us talking through phone - the usual how your day went, venting about customers, me talking about my buddies, my games etc. Idk why but after some time I just wanted to stop talking. Not sure if I just didnt want to talk or because I wanted to go back to my pc to play, but I decided to say goodbye to my gf. She went silent for a few seconds then told me she tought I will at least wait until she gets home. I asked her if she has a long way to go still, because I'm right in front of my house and want to go inside already (I went to take a walk to talk to her) and then she went silent again, told me nevermind &amp; added that she doesnt want to force me to talk for a three more minutes until she gets home if I really don't want to. Am I the asshole for not waiting until she's at her home? I feel like she's mad at me or something. Usually she writes to me once she's safe at her place but this time I had to blow up her phone after some time and ask her myself if she's alright ######

YTA a lot of women make calls as a way to avoid unwanted street harassment and to make sure someone knows they made it home safely. Was your PC really more important than your partner’s safety? ######

My (26) mom’s (46) best friend (f52) was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 6 years ago. She made it to the 15-20% survival rate. She was a beautiful person. She’s been in my life since I was 2 years old. Even though she was on heavy doses of pain meds over the years she always randomly texted me telling me she loves me. She honestly texted me more than she texted my mom. She was admitted to hospice roughly 2 weeks ago. I’ve been able to see her about 2 times since she was diagnosed because she was always back and forth between the hospital and her home. The trip to and from was about 5 hours. She was always exhausted and out of it. Understandably so, we kept our distance. Especially because we didn’t want to compromise her health any further with unknown illnesses we might of had. We went to say our goodbyes on Monday. She looked like a whole different person. I won’t go too in to detail but, let’s just say I couldn’t stop crying. She looked so unhappy and as if she was mentally stuck inside a body (like being awake during a coma) that no longer served her. Just 15 minutes ago we got the news that she had passed. I didn’t cry. I felt peace and happiness for her. When I saw her on Monday, she found the strength to wake up and even though she barely had a voice or any energy left, she told me the most beautiful things that helped me be okay with her leaving this earth. Of course my mom is devastated. But, I told her that it was not a way to live and even though her friend was dealt the shittiest of all cards, we should be happy for her that she no longer has to live in pain, anger and sadness. My mom did not like this, she won’t even look at me. Guys AITA? I really wasn’t trying to upset her. ######

YTA a little here. Even though you meant well, you can't control how other people grieve. She needs to process it in her own way, and she probably needs some support. She doesn't need someone else trying to tell her how to feel about the situation. ######

My mom died when I was 13 whilst in childbirth with my youngest sister, my dad therefore suddenly became a single dad of four young girls. He never dated anybody whilst I was going through my teenage years, but met his wife, my stepmom, when I was 19 and in college. As I was the only one of my sisters not living at home anymore, they all had good relationships with her, whilst I didn’t really have any. For the past three years, his wife was battling ovarian cancer and passed away this past January. It’s been really hard on my dad as she had gone into remission and then relapsed only 2 months later. I’ve been living at home to help him as my sisters all have kids and I don’t. He’s a shell of the man I grew up having as a dad, and watching him wither away has been awful, so I suggested he should try and meet someone new. He didn’t really respond. I also told him I could message a woman I work with as I think they’d be really good together. Later that night we were on FaceTime to one of my sisters and I mentioned it to her and said we should make him some kind of dating profile if she didn’t like the idea of me setting him up with my colleague. She was absolutely mortified and immediately refused the idea. She’s the youngest so she grew up with my stepmom basically being her mom. She then told my other sisters and they’ve called me incredibly insensitive to my dads feelings. My dad has agreed with them and told me he’s not ready to move on, and has asked me to leave so he can grieve the way he wants and take things at his own pace. AITA? ######

YTA a little bit. 6 months is not a long time, and it sounds like you were a little too pushy. If he didn't respond positively when you first brought it up, that was your cue to back off. Give him some time. He's lost two of the women he loves, and finding another one may not be a priority for him. ######

My fiancée and I are getting married in October and I couldn’t be more excited. Currently she’s unemployed because her job permanently shut down due to the lockdown so the income comes from me and her unemployment. I make good money so I don’t care if she gets another job, I can support us. Money is a little tight lately because we very suddenly had to buy a new car. We haven’t really spent any personal money, only money on groceries and necessities. Last night my fiancée came into our bathroom while I was shaving and looked a little nervous. She asked if she could buy a $350 wedding dress that she’s been looking at for months. I kind of looked at her and asked where the $350 would come from. She said we had a lot of money in our savings we hadn’t touched, and it would barely make a dent in our savings. I thought about it for a second and told her if she gets to splurge $350 on a dress I get to spend $350 on whatever I want. She said she didn’t think it was a splurge, it was for our wedding and I could buy what I wanted but i could tell I had hurt her feelings. I told her spending $350 on a dress was a little ridiculous, and she started crying and walked out of the bathroom quietly. When I walked into our bedroom she was under the covers and facing away from me. We haven’t talked since. I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable but AITA? ######

YTA 350 for a wedding dress is nothing. ######

I (17f) and my friend/on &amp; off boyfriend (18m) are both huge pranksters and we usually pull stupid pranks on one another. I am white and he’s Native American. He’s got long hair down his back. The other day I was spending the night at his house and thought it would be funny if I tied his hair around those metal bars on his bed frame. I kept shaking him roughly to wake him up and it took me like 20 seconds. He started trying to get up and began dreaming out. I told him what I did with his hair &amp; at first he laughed then asked me to untie it. So I tried but I couldn’t get his hair loose. I didn’t know what to do so I woke his mom up and asked her if she could help. She couldn’t get it either. My friend started crying when his mom came back in the room with scissors. She had to cut his hair &amp; its now neck length. They were both severely devastated and I didn’t see the big deal because it was just hair. He forced me to drive home at like 2 am. It’s been a couple of days and he still hasn’t spoken to me. He told me his hair was a huge part of his culture &amp; I told him I don’t understand what I did wrong because it was just a prank that went bad on accident. I was just being a kid. That’s what kids we do, we do stupid shit. I didn’t mean for it to go wrong nor was it my fault that his hair go super tangled due to his continuous tugging and pulling. ######

YTA 100% so and at 17 you're not too young to understand that his body and his hair aren't toys. It's just hair to you, it's not that to him. And I would say that you're about to lose a friend for good if you keep trying to downplay what you did here ######

My fiancée and I are getting married in October and I couldn’t be more excited. Currently she’s unemployed because her job permanently shut down due to the lockdown so the income comes from me and her unemployment. I make good money so I don’t care if she gets another job, I can support us. Money is a little tight lately because we very suddenly had to buy a new car. We haven’t really spent any personal money, only money on groceries and necessities. Last night my fiancée came into our bathroom while I was shaving and looked a little nervous. She asked if she could buy a $350 wedding dress that she’s been looking at for months. I kind of looked at her and asked where the $350 would come from. She said we had a lot of money in our savings we hadn’t touched, and it would barely make a dent in our savings. I thought about it for a second and told her if she gets to splurge $350 on a dress I get to spend $350 on whatever I want. She said she didn’t think it was a splurge, it was for our wedding and I could buy what I wanted but i could tell I had hurt her feelings. I told her spending $350 on a dress was a little ridiculous, and she started crying and walked out of the bathroom quietly. When I walked into our bedroom she was under the covers and facing away from me. We haven’t talked since. I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable but AITA? ######

YTA 100% man. Come on now. Not for the reason you might think either. A wedding dress being $350 is actually cheap, yes you can find cheaper ones out there but those are almost always lower quality and not a good idea, this is a once in a lifetime thing (hopefully) and you’re paying to insure there aren’t wardrobe malfunctions, last minute issues, the scene in the moment. Idk how far out your wedding is but when you start really getting down to planning I hope you help her and see that weddings are hard and expensive and challenging. Please don’t make her do all the work and then complain about how much everything costs later. But anyways that’s not even the reason YTA. YTA because it sounds like you don’t even know what you want to spend $350 on, you just said “if you get to spend it so do I” which firstly is simply a WTF thing to say. Like honestly I clicked on this and was like is he buying a tux for the wedding? Secondly why would you start this post with explaining that money is right and then throw in for random that she want a $350 dress so now you’re going to buy ‘whatever I want’ in exchange. So $350 is too much but $700 isn’t? And if you really don’t know what you want and simply want to spend the same as her then you’ll be eager and looking for things to buy and blow through it all the more easily. Thirdly the biggest reason YTA: she said she had been looking at this dress for months. She obviously looked around, probably saw prices, saw quality, saw herself on her wedding day when you look at her and tell her she’s beautiful. And then you put that image and dream again nothing. You told her she can only spend the money on her dream dress if you go to spend it on whatever you want. You put her feelings down in that moment, you told her months of yearning for that dress was the same as whatever random thing you’ll find to blow money on and her effort to make your wedding day TOGETHER weren’t worth it in your mind. Honestly it’s petty. If you actually had something in particular you wanted you could have brought that up separately and had that moment been about her. You could have asked if she loved the dress, maybe something to complement her style and saying you couldn’t wait to see her in it. Honestly girls can really get their hopes up for stuff like this and a little bit of support from you in this moment very well could have made planning the entire wedding easier. Having that moment be about her and what she wanted wouldn’t have been hard for you. Waiting even ten minutes and then asking as a separate mater if you could also use your savings to do X, Y, or Z would have been fine. But making her desire a ‘if you get this then I get that’ things is an asshole move. It stakes you against her. Any relationship, especially that of marriage, should be you and that person against others. Never you against her. I forgot where that quote is from but seriously take that to heart. Actions that make the two of you look like enemies aren’t one you ever want to make and once you two start seeing each other as adversaries instead of partners your marriage is over, maybe before it gets the chance to start. You don’t have to give in to everything she wants ever (though happy wife makes a happy life) but not making it a fight between the two of you would be best for the future. ######

My wife and I recently moved to a new city. I took a job with a higher salary, enabling my wife to stay home with our children. We didn't want to do virtual ed, so she is also homeschooling. Before moving my wife was working from home full time and was sick of her job. Being without a job was a relief for her. A few months after moving my wife's former employer contacted her and asked if she would work 10 hours per week from home. They really needed her. She said yes, and I supported this decision, but was a little wary that it would turn into more than 10 hours. Well now, she is working about 25 hrs a week from home, trying to homeschool children and take care of 1 year old. She frequently works in the afternoon and puts the kids in front of the tv( which I don't really love). Or works from 8-10:30pm. AITA for not supporting her in this? She is upset with me because I have animosity towards her work. I don't blow up at her or anything but there is a definite tension. She says it doesn't affect me because she does it when im at work or at night. But she is constantly tired and seems overworked to me. Aita??? ######

YTA ~~I took a job with a higher salary, enabling my wife to stay home with our children~~ My wife agreed to run the household and childcare enabling me to take a job with a higher salary and commitment. There I fixed it for you. ######

I work at a call center in a cubicle and I hate it, which is why I've recently decided to go to college and get a degree. I was telling one of my co-workers about this and when he asked why I wanted to go to college, I said to him "I just want to improve my chances of getting a real job." That's when my friend got all defensive and started telling me that a call center was a real job. I corrected him and told him that call centers are just for young kids going through school and single parents who need to support their bastard kids and have no other motivation in life and that's when he stormed off. On top of that, he apparently went around telling all of my other co-workers. One of them called me an "elitist prick" and another hoped that I ended up being a college drop-out. Everyone is against me just because I'm daring to get out of this hellhole of a call center and pursue an actual career. AITA? ######

YTA — not for wanting to get a different job, but for putting down your current job to people who work that same job. Telling a coworker that their job is just for kids and people with no ambition was really shitty. If you want a better job, that’s great! But it’s elitist and cruel to openly criticize anyone who is content with that job. ######

I(24M) am getting married to my gf(25f) next year in tuscon on our anniversary . I sent out invites to the wedding to people in my friend circle . The next day another friend of mine announced to the group that she was getting married at the same place a month before i am getting married. I felt that people would attend her wedding since it came first and most of them wouldn't be able to afford a trip for mine within the one month gap. I got mad at her and told her that if she wouldn't change the date , the friendship between us would be over . To which she complied and changed the date to the anniversary of meeting her fiance which is in January . She called me a loser and has been ignoring me for these few days . AITA for making her change the dates? ######

YTA — It’s a difference of a MONTH for Christ’s sake. You don’t get a wedding month, you get a wedding day. If people don’t make it, they don’t make it. I would have told you to screw yourself and ended the friendship on my own. You’re selfish and absolutely the asshole here. ######

While my fiancée and I were having sex, she just asked me if I could see any bumps on her vagina. I just mentioned that the outside part of her private was the vulva, and that the vagina was the tube. She disagreed, and we googled it. I was right Then everything became extremely awkward. She said that she really disliked that I was “mansplaining” to her about her body. The thing is, I’m right. It’s not a matter of semantics because different words have different meanings. A vulva is not a vagina. I don’t know how I’m the asshole, but she’s still really mad that I corrected her. So, AITA? ######

YTA You knew what are she was referring to, and had to be right. If the ‘bump’ was the main concern, you should have addressed that directly. If she said she had 10/10 stomach pain, would you correct her and say it’s really epigastric pain? If she sliced the area between her wrist and elbow , and said she cut her arm, would you correct her to say forearm? If she thought she had a cancerous lymph node in her underarm, would you say that’s really the axilla? ######

My brother started dating this new girl and I realized I recognized her from AA. I’m not an addict, but my lawyer recommended I attend some AA meetings to help strengthen my DUI case (and before you get on my ass for it, I made a mistake months back and got through it). I know it’s her because I remember her very unique name from the AA meeting and she also talked for a very long time. I thought it was important to mention it to my brother is because I’m worried about her as a partner to him. In AA, she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs, but also that she feels like she can’t control herself. She also admitted to drugs making her verbally aggressive and unstable emotionally, and at the time sue was not sober. I know my brother, and I know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship. I told him what she said and he broke up with her, and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy bitch who ruined her experience with AA. Honestly I think I was just trying to help my brother out, but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him. But I think it’s better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time. AITA? ######

YTA What you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here. You broke a cardinal rule buddy ######

My wife filed for divorce after the birth of our third child. She started gunning for full custody after getting jealous that I have started dating a new woman (21F). Previously, she wanted to negotiate a 60-40 split despite my protests it be 50-50. I’m pretty sure she’s talking trash about me to our kids. My soon to be ex did some porn in the late 90s to get through college. She wasn’t very well known and it was mostly amateur work. Afterwards, she graduated, dyed her hair, and tried to bury it. However, she told me about it when we were dating and I had the tapes that were quite frankly pretty hard to find. My ex teaches computer science at a middle school. I ended up notifying the principal with the evidence, and a week later she was fired. My lawyer also is in the process of submitting the tapes in our child custody battle. AITA? All I want to do is not be robbed of my kids, and she was actively doing that. Our other two kids are 13 and 11, and we miss each other and I wasn’t the one that uprooted our kids. However, my sister in law is calling me out on Facebook for being sexist and being cruel for outing her sister when we’re living in a very conservative jurisdiction of Georgia. ######

YTA What I gathered: You are dating someone just 8 years older than your child. You chose to get your wife fired because of a custody issue. Hopefully a judge will see this is as the malicious attack that it was, and will give her custody whole charging you alimony and child support as you made her unable to support herself, and your children. ######

So I (17m) live with my mom, dad, and sister (15). My mom often leaves for long trips by herself (I believe to get away from my dad and us) and hasn’t been here all week. My dad is a pretty extreme alcoholic and is almost never sober. He’s typically worst in the evenings, when he’s clearly intoxicated (unlike other times when it can be hard to tell). One of the things he does when he’s intoxicated is he becomes really accommodating and “providing”. He will do things like offer to buy stuff and buy us desserts and whatnot. I’ve noticed my sister asks my dad to buy her things she doesn’t need when he’s intoxicated, and he usually agrees and gives her his credit card. I don’t believe these purchases are things he would be okay with if he were sober. They never exceed a few hundred dollars, but I still have a problem. I feel like my sister is taking advantage of my dad when he’s not sober, my mom is not home, and he isn’t able to say no to her. I’m thinking about saying something, but I don’t know if that would make me an AH. I’d be implying that my dad is incapable of making decisions (he denies he has a drinking problem) and that my sister is manipulative. My sister always feigns ignorance when I ask her about my dad’s drinking, so I’m tired of trying to ask her politely. TL;DR I feel my sister is taking advantage of my alcoholic father when he isn’t sober by asking him to buy her things. I have tried bringing up the subject, but my sister pretends she has no idea what I’m taking about. WIBTA if I told her I’m disgusted by her behavior? ######

YTA The person you should be angry at in this situation is your dad. It is his responsibility to set clear boundaries, and to be taking care of her rather than drinking so much he’ll let her convince him to do whatever she wants. ######

I don’t care that “I bought it for her” or anything like that.. but she is 5’1 120 and goes on runs at night. Her area isn’t bad but it gets shadier 10-15 miles out in a couple directions. I got her this armband that holds pepper spray that she wore for a while and admitted was uncomfortable. She said I can’t control what she wears (there’s no issue around “what she wears” in any other circumstance, she can wear a crop top and low cut jeans to a bar for all I care) which I get but I just want her to be safe. I got noticeably annoyed the third time “she forgot” and now we are in a tiff. Am I overstepping boundaries? ######

YTA Listen buddy, these girls have been dealing with this stuff for way longer than you have. You dont think that each time she goes out for a run that she knows the risk she is taking? She has had to deal with those risks her whole life and I'm sure it's always in the back of her head even if you dont tell her to wear that bracelet It is her choice on how she wants to handle her life and it wont help you in the long run to act like you know what's best for her, even if you have the best intentions. ######

Been dating for 4 months now and honestly one of the things I find attractive about her, is her voice. However that's most likely fake and a tone that she keeps up. My girlfriend's native language isn't English . She speaks another language too. I only speak English and can understand a bit of Spanish. I barely hear her talk in her own language but for the past week or so. She's been talking in her language more often as her brother came to town and they've been planning to meet and call often. I notice that she sounds different when she speaks her language and her voice isn't as high pitched or cute. I thought maybe I was being weird so I tried to listen to her whenever she spoke and it's true. She's faking it so I called her out and told her that it's okay she can speak in her actual tone and doesn't need to fake it anymore for me. Instead she got pissed and called me an asshole telling me that's how she sounds when she speaks English. she's not responding to my texts and is ignoring me. I've always respected her tbh..never hurt or did anything bad and she just doesn't wanna talk now. AITA? ######

YTA It isn't uncommon to have a different tone of voice when switching languages. You're not calling her out, you're assuming. ######

Happened last Friday. Me: 21M Her 20F First of all, I have absolutely nothing against under-aged drinking. I drank a fuck ton all the time underage that I would buy from friends. With that being out of the way, we go to college in Wisconsin where the law states that somebody can be served underage if they are with a 21+ parent or spouse. She and I just so happened to have the same last name as it’s a very common one. So we were at this restaurant and my girlfriend forgot her fake ID, so she just showed her real one and said we were married. We’ve been together almost a year now, and I really love her, but this was just something that really shocked me you know? So I said “no we’re just dating.” The waiter gave her a *look* and didn’t serve her. She was really annoyed about that the whole dinner, and even now she’s kind of still annoyed. AITA for what I said? ######

YTA If you’re ok with her using a fake ID, you shouldn’t have embarrassed her like that. ######

I wanted a quick 15-second animation done from a friend. The animation would form a segment of a short PSA video for my college video, so the animation quality itself doesn't need to be high. I asked my friend who does animation for a commission, and she said 200 dollars. Now I don't know anything about art so I trusted her that this is a standard price, but I couldn't afford this at all. However if it were 100 dollars instead it would fit in my budget, which is what I told her. I told her I'd be very grateful for her help, that I'd be happy to do her favors in the future, etc. After this she agreed to 100 dollars. So I paid her and now she's working on it. Then, one of her friends found out and told me that I'm an asshole for haggling the price. The thing is that SHE AGREED to 100 dollars. I would have either found someone else or asked for something cheaper had she said no, but she said yes instead. So I don't understand what this second friend is pissed off about. ######

YTA Friends of all people should know that independent work is always underpaid no matter what you are selling ... you should have made a point of paying her asking price - instead of abusing your friendship. Same way you should pay your coffee in your mates coffee shop. It’s those guys lifelyhood and as a friend of all things this you should pay the going rate ######

I (34F) teach a freshman biology class. Today, I wanted to see if my students would keep their integrity while doing distance learning, so I created a test. I made a quiz on a unit we haven't covered yet, and released it to the class. Lots of students got inexplicably correct answers, despite not studying the subject. I revealed that it was all just a test and those who had gotten correct answers would be given a zero for academic dishonesty. Several of the students protested and said it wasn't fair, but I stand by what I did. AITA? ######

YTA First off, some students may actually already know the material so punishing them is deeply unfair. Second, creating a culture of mistrust through entrapment does nothing to help people learn. Use it as an object lesson, but don’t mess with people’s grades. ######

My friend (27, F) says she has a connective tissue disorder and says this affects her entire body and for nearly a decade she has a condition where the pressure of the fluid in her brain is low and this causes her brain to be inflamed which causes headaches, seizures and causes her to 'constantly hear things'. I've seen her 'seizures' and what happens is her eyelids will twitch rapidly or her bicep will start twitching or the corners of her mouth will twitch, it's weird but she's fully conscious when these happen. She says they can happen constantly some days and they're annoying. She also says she doesn't sleep because of her symptoms and she's really depressed all the time. I tell her to help me with stuff (physical stuff) and she says she doesn't feel like doing anything because she feels bad physically and also because she feels too depressed to do anything. She says she misses the time when she felt well and thinks about it constantly and she says each month she's getting worse. Well tonight I told her to get something from a room and the room had a broken light so it was dark since it was dark out. She said she was 'feeling' for the thing she was asked to get and I kept having to explain to her where the thing was, she ended up getting the wrong one so I told her to go back. I said in a kind of angry tone ''this is life skills [her name]'' and she got angry at me and she said when it's dark she goes blind because she sees ''static'' in her vision or something like that. I also told her she was really lazy and she should do more stuff rather than be at the computer or in bed all day, because my dad is 60 and he goes to work every day (she doesn't work and hasn't had a job). She hasn't been speaking to me since and I feel like I may of done something wrong. AITA here? I am 29, M. ######

YTA Also, shower more. ######

I enjoy going to massage parlors every so often, especially if I worked many hours. I see it as a way to wind down. As such, I am generally familiar with the rates/what to expect. I decided to try a new massage parlor that isn't too far from where I live. I went down there and the girl who gave me the massage was very nice and talkative. She was actually very skilled and gave a great massage, and my back/legs felt loose. I was so satisfied with it that as she ended the massage, I asked if she provided any extras. Fortunately she did and she wanted me to pay an additional $175. I wasn't sure what she would do and I won't bore anyone with the details, but she only provided 5 minutes of service and it wasn't even that good. Other massage places would only charge like $100 for even better services and I felt she was ripping me off. After it was all said and done, I complained to her that I felt she charged too much. She essentially just shrugged her shoulders and I told her I won't ever go back again and the business lost a potential long termed client because she is greedy. Now if she had TOLD ME what to expect, I wouldn't have been annoyed and would politely decline, was I the asshole for complaining to her about it? ######

YTA You’re mad that your HJ cost too much? Please, try reporting this to the BBB. I’d love to see how that works out. ######

I was babysitting 2 kids, 11 and 13 years old and I took them to the petting zoo. The goats were having sex and the kids were confused and asked me what they were doing and I tried to change the subject but they kept pestering me so I said they were having sex. They asked me what sex was so I told them. I didnt go into detail but I just said Male and female animaks, including humans, do that to create babies, the male does it and it makes the female pregnant. They kept asking more and more questions, I was shocked at this age they didnt know what sex was, so I told them a bit more and left. Parents found out and fired me and told me it was not my job to teach them that and were fucking pissed. Everyone else says in in the wrong here ######

yta you should have said mating and left it at that. 'ask your parents' is a great phrase to use if theres ever a next time ######

My friend has desperately wanted a pair of Vans Classics but can't afford £60 for them. Today we met up and she had a pair on which I was surprised at but she was so excited to finally have a pair. I asked her where she got them from and she said eBay. I commented on the fact she's said she can't afford a pair but she said with a massive smile 'I got them for £15, someone was selling their old ones that they have barely worn'. The shoes did look pretty new but I told her wearing second hand shoes is disgusting as you don't know who's worn them before you and what germs they might be carrying on their feet. She told me to mind my own business as not everyone can afford brand new stuff and she grew up being dressed in charity shops due to her parents being poor. I told her clothes are different as you wash them before wearing them which she sharply replied 'well I'll wash these shoes if you're going to make such a big deal about it' and changed the subject. I'm starting to feel a bit bad now for what I said as she genuinely seemed hurt ######

YTA Well done for raining on her parade. I keep thinking about the massive smile on her face disappearing after listening to your judgemental crap and it makes me feel so sad. ######

I work for this factory, i'm pretty much a foreman and supervisor for my team. It's a factory job, i liked it. My guys respected me even though i was a woman. I got my son (22) a job here as well, mostly as an assistant to the other supervisors, just a little desk job. He likes it enough. He hasn't been able to find a job because of the virus, so i got him a job here. I'd been here for a couple years. But a few days ago, they informed me that i was being let go, just from my current position. They offered me a lower paying position though. That's not what made me quit, i was gonna try to be a company woman. The person they wanted to bring in to replace me, they literally wanted me to be the one to train them. They want me to train my REPLACEMENT. They wouldn't even tell me why i was being bumped. That was a huge insult. I was furious and just quit then and there. I told them they could find another stooge. When my son got home, i asked him politely to quit. But he told me no, not because of the money, but there's this girl he likes there. It led into a bit of an argument, i asked him to do it for me. I basically begged him to do so, to call the boss and tell him he's quitting. I told him i didn't want to work for a company that would do this to his mom. But he just asked "What am i supposed to do now? Nobody's hiring" and how he's upset he won't get to see her again. Was it wrong of me to use my son to help make a statement? ######

YTA This is your sons income and you should be happy that they’re treating him well. Period. As for him liking a girl at work, that’s neither here nor there, but if she’s interested in him then good for them. It’s very selfish of you to expect your son give up his income and job experience because you chose to quit. You were justified in quitting, and that’s fine. But you need to understand that that move was about you, and you only. Don’t involve your kid. ######

My best friend and I are the type to always pull pranks on each other, it's just how our friendship formed and we always get a kick out of it. For example, he once invited me to a party and told me to wear a costume and when I got there, it was normal attire. I laughed after the initial embarrassment, and like I said we are comfortable enough to do that to each other. He held a wedding this past weekend, (socially distant, everyone was spread out and it was entirely outdoors). In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I told my girlfriend to wear white as it was expected all the women would wear it. She was reluctant but I told her that it was just a quirky thing the bridge and groom were doing, so she said "ok" and bought a white dress. When we got to the wedding, it was standard wedding attire and my girlfriend was mortified. When my best friend saw what I had done, he was cracking up and joked "I guess you two are getting married instead of us!" The bride was pissed off and made a huge deal out of it. Normally she is really chill so I was surprised by her anger. My friend even tried to calm her down and told her it was just clothing and it doesn't change anything. Now I feel incredibly bad by what happened. I really didn't think it was a big deal. I personally think this is being blown out of proportion but I don't know. ######

YTA The jokes are between you and your friend. Pulling in others that aren’t aware that you’re making them a pawn in your game makes you absolutely AH. And wearing white on a wedding day is not an appropriate prank. They spent money on that occasion and invited you to join in their happiness. Instead, you made it about you. You should apologize. Immediately. Edit: Thank you for the award! 😊 ######

“Fuck you” she said, after I told her I would be back from the gym at 7:30, just like last night. She refuted I wasn’t there at 7:30, that I didn’t get home until 8. I told her I was indeed there at 7:30, I just sat on the driveway because I was speaking with a client. As soon as I clarify that, she said: “why do you have to snap at me, fuck you”. WTH, why does clarifying to her the time I got back in my defense, made her snap like that? In front of our 8 year old son too smh! I have not talked to her ever since, I left after the fuck you to the gym and feel so disrespected, I don’t know if I should say something or not, because I don’t want to be cursed at again. AITA? ######

YTA The fact that you need to be right about this to me indicates that it’s more important for you to be superior than to understand why it was important to your wife for you to be home. She had plans, you knew about them. 5 min late because you wanted to reschedule a work call for business hours is a far cry away from 30 min yack yack yack when you knew you were expected. Your wife is at her wits end with your self-absorption. She shouldn’t have snapped at you in front of your kid. But, as a divorced woman myself, it would have taken me to be at the total fucking end of my rope to have done that. If you want to stay married, I would encourage you to be more concerned about partnership and good communication, than being right. ######

I'm (27M), My wife (23F) has 4 days off this coming week and took them off to have some down time for her birthday....Fri, Sat, Sun &amp; Mon are her off days. I have some family coming in my town on Saturday afternoon from far away that I haven't seen in over a year, I would like to see my family for just a few hours on Sat. But wife completely refuses to attend because it's her birthday weekend and she says "I don't wanna go to a stupid family reunion for my birthday weekend." Wife has no plans on Saturday afternoon and has already texted my parents, saying she's "busy &amp; has other plans" &amp; "sorry can't make it" even though my wife has zero plans. My family really loves my wife &amp; enjoy my wife's company so there is zero family conflict or tension. AITA for wanting us to attend a family reunion for just a few hours on Saturday when she has 4 days off &amp; no plans?? Please help! ######

YTA She’s busy. Doing nothing. ######

I [19F] have been living with my boyfriend [18M] and his parents and his sister [18F] for a couple of months. His parents were out. His sister was sick. It got worse. She threw up on herself and hadn't showered in a couple of days. She was sweaty, dizzy, and weak. After she threw up on herself he helped her to the bathroom and put her in the bath tub. He stood there with a trash can when she threw up a couple more times while she washed up. He helped her out, held her up so she would not lose balance while she dried herself off (she was still naked and he was holding her!) and took her back to bed. I was already uncomfortable with him being with her while she was naked but I watched and noticed that when he helped her out of the bath, the entier side of her boob was pressed against his bare arm for like 10 seconds. It was obviously not intentional but it made me feel so uncomfortable. After my bf dismissed my concerns, I told his parents what I saw. They are very conservative so I knew they wouldn't approve of him helping her in that way and I agreed with them in this situation. They were not happy. My boyfriend is now mad at me. Honestly I would not have even told them or cared that much if his arm hadn't made contact with her breast like that, that was just too much for me. It really crossed a line. ######

YTA She was sick and needed help. You sound like a creep. What would you have preferred she laid there helpless? Or fell in the tub? What do you think is going to happen when you get older? Someone may have to help you who is not your SO. Are you going to automatically sexualize them moment? You broke his trust and are being gross. ######

We work at a large grocery store, and she recently got hired for customer service alongside me. She looks a bit younger than me at around 18-19 years old. She is the type of worker that is always cheery and upbeat, which I have no problem with. But she is so cringy and seems like she is begging for attention. She has a thing where she pretends to be a motivational speaker and starts telling the customers stuff like "don't say I'm having a bad day, say I'm having a character-building day", "It's better to aim high and miss, than aim low and hit", "If you do what is easy, your life will be hard.. but if you do what is hard, your life will be easy", "don't stop until you're living your dreams", etc. It is so cringy, and I told her that it's so unnecessary and seems like she is begging for attention, and an elderly woman said that what she is doing is unique and I should worry about myself. AITA?? ######

YTA Old lady is right ######