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Get real |
Telles the viewer the key to being creative is remembering that you can do ab-.
An Eiffel Tower with changing colours spins clockwise on the screen.
Continues the sentence: -solutely anything you want at any mo-.
Shows a meme.
Continues the sentence: -ment. |
Find out how it always was |
This is the way we open up lots of possibilities |
How about going to the mall?
Shows the interiors of a mall, with the text paid advertisement for ShitMall™.
How about going to the mall?
Shows the interiors of a mall, with the text paid advertisement for ShitMall™. |
Shows the text monday pop quiz, which has the following items:
1. what the fuck
2. what the hell
3. heck, what the darn
4. i dont
5. how is
6. fuck
answers next week! is displayed on a multi-colored background. |
Go tie a shoe |
Shows the video title the peanut butter song.
Knocks a jar of peanut butter on the synthesizer repeatedly. |
Lets get high |
Shows the video title monday accordion bowling.
An accordion rolls from left to right on a bowling alley, then hit all pins were hit and notes are played to create a dissonant noise. |
Shows the video title monday annoying thing.
A messy redlined signature flashes on the screen.
A blue and yellow messy signature fills up the screen. |
Shows the video title how to touch the sky with a background of blue skies and a few clouds.
Flashing text THE SKY IS ALWAYS TOUCHING YOU is shown.
Shows text have a good day with a purple-coloured sky in the background. |
An cover of Dave Kozs You Make Me Smile is played over an NBC logo. |
Shows the video title monday elevator testing.
Blue and red lines appear, representing two floors while a yellow box situated on the blue floor represents the elevator.
A stick figure goes into the elevator on the blue floor, then traverses between the two floors repeatedly, finally exiting on the red floor. |
Shows the text monday lamborghini trivia, with a cartoon Lamborghini at the centre of the screen.
Asks the viewer how many lamborghinis does it take to cover the ocean floor?
Draws in an ocean, while placing three lamborghinis on the bottom of the ocean, therefore determines the answer is 2.659. |
Im gonna do the things that I gotta do
Cause Im cool, and thats what I gotta do
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
Saturday, Sunday, Im cool
Do what you want to do
Do what you came to do
Do whatever you wanna do
And I know that you can do it |
Gonna mail you my floor |
A red and blue balloon flows in the background of balloon fight.
A audible ding with fight!!! indicating the fight has started.
The red balloon fly to the left and touches the blue balloon, making it moving to the left and off the screen.
Declares red wins!. |
Shows the video title comma art.
5 commas of different colours are presented. |
Text showing monday update on the world.
The contents of the update:
the world is pretty good
you are in it
UPDATE: its bad sometimes
have you ever seen a flying bug |
Shows the video title funny dolphin. A cartoon dolphin is displayed at the bottom left of the screen.
Asks whats 2+2, the dolphin answers undies.
Asks whos the president?, the dolphin answers undies.
Asks what is the average distance between jupiter and pluto?, the dolphin answers 3.187 billion miles.
Asks what is your favourite article of clothing?, the dolphin answers i dunno, probably hats.
Asks if you are telling a joke, whats a good punchline?, the dolphin answers it was the mexicans.
Asks what do they sell at victorias secret?, the dolphin answers secrets.
Asks whats the best way to build a paper airplane?, the dolphin answers fold the top two corners first, at a 90 degree angle, then fold the entire thing in half, then fold each half back, leaving about 1 cm of space, then repeat the same fold in the same direction. this may not be the best way, but thats just the way i do it.
Asks ok great. thanks for all that info, the dolphin answers your welcome. |
Shows the title of the video monday mountain of shame & regret.
Shows a snowy peak, then gives the viewer the option of undo mountain?. |
Shows the video title monday pants shirt.
A stick figure shows in the middle of the screen. A red pant is put on the torso of the stick figure. |
Shows the video title monday encyclopedia review.
Reviews the following encyclopedias, including:
britannia - sucks
grolier - sucks
wagnal somethings - suck
your grandpas memories - ok
wikipedia - too good, dont use
Shows the text thats about it! i hope this helped you pick a good encyclopedia. |
Tells the viewer sadness and try to dont do it. |
Shows the video title monday church replacement.<!--.i-->
Shows a cartoon depiction of an old church, while listing out the characteristics of the old church, including:
-sad
-bad
-god doesnt like it
-did not pass health inspection
-is not earthquake proof
Shows a cartoon depiction of a new church, while listing out the characteristics of the new church, including:
-good
-more holy
-state of the art design
-free wifi
-less rats
CHURCH REPLACE text in red is displayed diagonally with a trumpet victory sound effect. |
NARRATOR: Its like, why are we all in boxes? |
Shows the times it can be, which is 2:47.
Flashing background with the text AND MANY MORE!! are shown. |
Shows the video title monday movie prices review.
Reviews movie prices in the following:
movie title / review of price
the judge / too expensive
dracula untold / price a little too high
addicted / overpriced
whiplash / price would be better lower
st. vincent / incorrect price
one chance / rip off
the overnighters / all things considered, a too high price
dead snow 2 / not cheap enough |
{Verse 1]
Dont look thru the looking glass
I said dont look thru the looking glass
I said dont look thru the looking glass
You might find yourself
Its a fine morning in Brooklyn
Got my mind set on the time
Holding a fine binder
Im an elf |
Shows the video title monday cactus analysis.
Analyze the cartoon cactus located on the right side of the screen, which results are:
- theyre sharp
- you can give them as gifts.
Glowing red effects on the word ANALYZED scan from left to right. |
I just wrote a song
And it made no sense
Im here outside the Brooklyn Museum
I got a little time
Feel alright
And Id like to do it again
Oh man
And I hope that youll understand |
Shows the text today is Monday. i make videos on Mondays. |
Oh hi, thanks for checking in
Im still a piece of garbage
Waka-waka flow
It hit like Pac-Man
Shawty wanna make a baby
Hit that bitch like badminton
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
Waka-waka flow
It hit like Pac-Man
Shawty wanna make a baby
Hit that bitch like badminton
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
Nigga dont talk less you wanna get hit
Richter go in got a chain do the whip
Surfin that board like that nigga Wii Fit
240% nigga, wanna do this?
Corrin up smash like I hit on my sword
Nigga get jumped, yeah, I open the door
Talkin that shit and you cleanin the floor
Link when I hit then go, I explore
Dirty ass nigga, dont test on my patience
Slowin it down like that bitch was The Matrix
Slowin it down like my niggas go Witch Time.
Lucina, Lucina, get tilted to Venus
Nigga wanna talk
Bitch you built like a fеtus
Jumpin on up, yeah, yo bitch wanna eat this
PK Fire, yеah, a nigga want heat bitch
Lucina, Lucina, get tilted to Venus
NIgga wanna talk
Bitch you built like a fetus
Jumpin on up, yeah, yo bitch wanna eat this
PK Fire, yeah, a nigga want heat bitch
Waka-waka flow
It hit like Pac-Man
Shawty wanna make a baby
Hit that bitch like badminton
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
Waka-waka flow
It hit like Pac-Man
Shawty wanna make a baby
Hit that bitch like badminton
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh
I can see yall niggas talkin down
Ya fuckin @ Meh |
Shows the text hi. its monday, june 2, 2014.
Tells the viewer im a penguin., then strikesthrough it.
Tells the viewer im a marigold., then strikesthrough it.
Tells the viewer im a parakeet., then strikesthrough it.
Tells the viewer im a human being, with humanlike qualities. it is enjoyable.
Tells the viewer tomorrow i think i am going to hangglide through the himalayas, and its going to be great. |
Shows the video title how to undo a bad decision.
Instruct viewers that in order to undo a bad decision, purchase a bad decision eraser available now at Walmart at $37.99.
NO REFUNDS flashes on the screen. |
I like to sleep around
I like to sleep around
So come follow me all around town
Please follow me all around the town, throughout the crowd
And you will find out, that I like to please the crowd
And I said, please follow me all around the town, low down
Cause I like to sleep down south
And around |
Shows the video title monday icicle interview.
Starts a conversation with an icicle:
NARRATOR: whats your name?
ICICLE: icicle.
NARRATOR: how long you been hangin there?
ICICLE: a while.
NARRATOR: when do you plan on melting?
ICICLE: soon.
NARRATOR: what time is it?
ICICLE: 4:30
NARRATOR: if you can drive any car in the world, what kind of car would you drive?
ICICLE: . . . . . . . .
ICICLE: infinity q50
ICICLE: no, a honda accord
NARRATOR: ok. |
Shows the video title monday poem, with a flowing stream in the wilderness as the background.
The poem is O.
Carries out a word and letter count, both with the result of 1. The score, however, is 0. |
Shows the text monday good life tips.
Asks the viewer how to be happy, replies with you will not be happy.
Shows the text thanks for watching and i hope this helps. |
Shows the video title monday non-zebra.
Tells the viewer the following item is not a zebra, then shows a picture of world leaders at the 2009 G20 Summit, with the remarks .
Asks the viewer can you think of some other things that are not things? let me know what they are not. |
Shaking text hold on im making mo- is shown. |
Shows the underlined video title how to listen to music.
Lists out the steps, including:
play music
listen
be self
Asks the viewer to join us for next weeks topic: how to use geopolitical strategy to assert a subtle but lasting influence on other nations in times of economic uncertainty. |
Shows the text monday trivia, then asks the question what is the origin of Monday?
Answers Monday was invented in the Netherlands in 1851 by Arthur Monman.
The first actual functioning Monday was not introduced until 1900. Today, Monday occur almost every week, with some weeks having two Tuesdays. |
Shows the video title crime facts.
Lists out crime facts, including:
̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶
it is bad
dont do it
nobody likes it, it is neither accepted nor appreciated
crime can be a very lucrative and financially rewarding career path, with benefits reaching far beyond the realm of what can be attained via a normal non-crime career path |
Shows the text you can.
A snail moves across the screen from left to right rapidly with the word move on top of the shell, then points at the snail telling the viewer you are here now. Then, an arrow pointing at the start stating you were here is shown. |
Asks the question whats the opposite of a bean? while showing a cartoon coffee bean.
Answer a CUBE with a cube of flashing colours in the background.
Thanks. pops up with an audible ding. |
Shows the video title rain fact, with rain showering in the background.
Tells the viewer it will rain in a copule of days. |
Shows the text Friends try to have them. |
Shows the video title monday the code for my bank account.
Shows the code, which is 5775777757757 2
Plays a note on the synthesizer with thanks, |
Shows the text desk chat and the date april 28, 2011 at the bottom right.
BILL WURTZ: Welcome to the- sigh Hmm. |
Shows the text live from the past and november 19, 2010.
BILL WURTZ: Im standing on a chair Im so bored. |
Bill Wurtz play some notes on the synthesizer, that was shown as staffs on the screen. |
The video title how to make mistak was tried to be displayed multiple times but failed continuously, then shows Media Offline and Screen shot 2015-06-14 at 11.01.55 AM for a brief second.
Ominous piano notes and chords are played, with multiple technical sound effects indicating that there were technical difficulties. |
Shows the video title how to scare a penguin.
Display a photo of a penguin in the background, stating with flashing text that penguins cannot be scared.
Displays the text we wish you luck the next time you try to scare a penguin. but they cannot be scared. |
Shows the video title monday riddles and pop quizzes.
Asks the viewer whats a shirt, answers itself.
Asks the viewer what time was it, answers 10:15.
Asks the viewer hows your summer going, answers resonably good.
Asks the viewer explain math, answers things equal stuff usually.
Asks the viewer whats the future, answers ill tell you later.
Asks the viewer why is the sky blue, answers its not.
Asks the viewer how am i driving, call 1-800-i-suck-at-driving, answers pretty good.
Asks the viewer should i go to work tomorrow, answers that depends if you have a job.
Asks the viewer do you like flowers, answers no but i like them better than bugs.
Asks the viewer what is the meaning of the universe, answers i think you said that backwards.
Colourful text shown as congratulations, i hope you got a good score. |
Shows the video title monday idea having contest.
Shows three cartoon bees with the description bees.
Shows three trees with the description trees.
Shows a cartoon girls knees with a red circle focused on the spot with the description knees.
Shows a blue fleece jacket with the description fleece.
Shows a red map representation of Greece with the description Greece.
Shows a photo with three geese with the description geese.
Shows two badly drawn girls with the description niece.
Shows three dots representing .
Shows three cartoon fleas with the description fleas.
Shows two cartoon gears of different sizes with the description gears.
Shows a Nintendo Entertainment System with a Nintendo logo.
Shows a two dimensional representation of an atom with the description isotope.
Shows a photo of the Hindenberg with the description the Hindenberg.
Shows 65 tiny flamingos on the screen with the description thousands of tiny flamingos.
The background changes with the description thousands of tiny flamingos.
Tells the viewer thank you and see you next Monday. |
Shows the title of the video monday good trade.
Proposes to trade a few nice cars, a lot of knowledge and happiness with duck hunt, nintendo, therefore concluding that it was a good trade. |
Neiugh
Good morning
Neiugh-neiugh
Im gonna plan my day |
Shows the video title monday sad house.
Shows a cartoon house. Sad music plays in the background. |
A instrumental cover of Donald Byrds I Remember Clifford plays while the Jolly Green Giant traverse on the four sides of the screen. |
Shows the video title trivia trivia.
Asks what are the origins of trivia?.
Answers trivia was invented by Hans Trivioli of Tuscany, in 1628. |
Shows a cartoon fish on the top right with the text fish opinions on the top left.
Lists out the fishs opinions, including i like water, i hate water, i like other fish , i am a rabbit and i think sock should be 2 words. |
so one day i was traveling in the desert thinking about events
then the moon landing hit me
i was like the moon landing better be good
so then i would teleport to the moon to see
i saw nothing but a flag
that had 50 stars and 13 stripes
that flag just looked familiar
and i would see if it was mine
so i got the flag out of the ground
and took it away
teleported back to my home and i planted it
so then i felt like i was gone
and so i would not fade away no more
so the moon landing hit me
and i again did so like the first time
on second thought though maybe i wont go to the moon landing
i just found it very bad for the people who discovered the moon
anyways i hope the moon dies |
Shaking words fuck the schedule is shown. |
Tells the viewer hi, welcome to monday.
Flashes the text Monday trivia, then asks the viewer is today a holiday?
Shows the text , flashes the text MAYBE.
Tells the viewer thank you for participating in monday trivia, we will see you again next #monday. |
Tells the viewer and now its time for monday fun pill, then shows a red and white pill.
The pill disappeared.
Tells the viewer you took the pill with a flashing background, then says now you are having fun.
Tells the viewer ok see you next week bye. |
Shows the video title monday explanation of life.
Explains that life its good. |
Shows the text being normal is cool. |
Shows a sailboat on the left of the screen, while asking the viewer what do you call 1000 dogs on a boat?
Places 21 dogs on the deck of the sailboat, they turn red, then answers red. they are red.
The boat sails away. Shows the text i hope this is a good video. |
Shows the video title monday stack of &s.
A stack of & appears on the left of the screen. |
Shows the video title monday small idea.
Shows the small text feed the world. |
Lists out procedures for how to open a door, including
1. grasp hold of the door, by the handle or lever.
2. rotate the handle gently to the right. if it doesnt turn to the right, try turning to the left.
3. pull gently on the door.
take psychedelic drugs appears on the screen for a brief moment.
Continues the list:
4. open the door
The blue door next to the list opens.
Give further instructions:
the door should now open.
if not, please repeat step 1 thru 4. |
Lists out types of dragon, including:
good
bad
medium
short
small
tall
, and disco, which a teal dragon is displayed on top of a red disco ball. |
Tells the viewer theres gonna be a boat, dont miss the boat.
A double-deck cruise boat goes from right to left, then tells the viewer there it goes.
Tells the viewer i hope you didnt miss it. |
Shows the video title Monday Video in jail, while 7 jail bars are placed in front of the text.
A string of text scrolls through behind the bars: how many things are in a blah blah blah trivia question, lalalala happy monday get stupid.
THANKS spins clockwise behind the bars. |
Shows the video title monday lizard eating contest results. The results are:
name / number of lizards eaten
jake / 5
gerald / 8
amy / 15
harold / 3
jerald / 97
Shows the text thank you all who participated. to claim your prize money, please speak to Frank. |
Shows the text live from the past and date November, 18, 2010.
BILL WURTZ: This is the real thing. |
Shows the video title MONDAY SOCCER TIPS, with a soccer ball in the background.
The tip is if you kick the ball with both feet the ball will go farther. |
Shows the video title mule thoughts, with a mule on the top right of the screen.
The mule says i wish i was a better mule. |
Shows the video title monday alligator kitchen.
5 cartoon alligators dance around in the cartoon kitchen, while the kitchen shelves changes colour. |
Asks the viewer how do you spell window? with the options:
1. window
2. windo
3. windeaugh
4. it doesnt matter
Option 4 is emphasized by enlargement and colourization.
Lists out other spellings of window, including
whindow
windoo
windooooooo
win
w
www.indo.w
western union
wnidow
wandow
wakefield
worm
w1nd0w
rhino
e
timex
dish soap
grandma
dracula
--01--&b
wînd°w
⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅
Gary
„‰—Ô
„,‰—Ô
, where the last item has its commas spread across the bottom of the screen. |
Shows the text next video button, then a rectangular button with the word next on it pops up while advising the viewer click here to go to the next video.
A mouse cursor moves to the button and clicks on it. Siren sounds are released, while the button glows red and shakes vigorously.
Reassures the viewer by ok, the videos tomorrow. |
Lists out why the president is such a cool guy, including
- has friends
- has self confidence
- is president
Tells the viewer to join us for next weeks topic: why the vice president is also pretty cool, but not as cool as the president. |
Shows a cartoon of a bed and calling it bed full of bugs.
Makes the statement this bed is full of bugs.
Makes the statement you cant tell. |
Shows the text Love its good, ok. |
Shows flashing unformatted text .
Shows slanted text monday 11.24.14.
Give thanks to the viewer with the text a big thanks to everyone for watching all the videos. youre doing a great job, keep it up.
some of you requested that i do more videos about American Fiscal Policy, and I will try. but first i have to remember to make a lot of videos about random stupid shit, and when i am done doing that i will be able to address other topics/concept. |
Shows the video title how to make changes, then the word changes is strikethrough and replaced with pancakes |
Shows the video title monday candle trivia, with a burning candle on the right of the screen.
Asks whats a candle?, answers its a flaming stick.
Asks what are they used for?, answers romance. |
Shows the video title monday rules of no-rule golf, while showing a red flag pole on the left.
The flag pole disappears, then the rule are listed out, including:
place the ball anywhere
hit it, or maybe dont hit it
have a good time
re-discover the whole point of your life
get points or whatever |
Shows the video title monday question questions.
Asks the question how many questions are there?, answers 5.
Asks the question is this a question?, answers yes.
Asks the question are there going to be more questions?, answers yes.
Asks the question is this the last question?, answers no.
Asks the question what is the origin of mankind?, answers we came from slime. |
Shows the video title monday trivia, then asks the question do camels breathe fire?
Answers YES, while a camel spits fire on the answer. |
Scrolling text that says: attention folks: i am taking a vacation in order to take some time to think and become a better person.
during this vacation, i will continue to post videos as usual.
nothing will change and you will not notice anything different.
-bill wurtz |