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jquiros

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suicide

like 6

The emotion that comes with everyday life is too muchI've lost so much. I have so much more to lose. Its supposed to be normal. I don't think I can.

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I can’t do this anymore.I’m so tired of being the person in trouble. I’m tired of being such a fucking burden to everyone. I really just don’t have the will to go on anymore because no matter what i do, it’s wrong. The only thing stopping me is lack of resources, but I finally got a blade. So, if y’all never hear from me again, I’m sorry.

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Anyone want to chat?if you need a friend im here and we can talk as much as you want. My names angel btw and im a guy. I can maybe try and help or maybe we can just chat. Im also depressed but i just want to help the best i can.

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Concerned for a friend, our conversation has left me shaken up.I want to start from the beginning, I apologize early on if the information is not needed. I will try to get to our conversation that just happened a few minutes ago quickly. Sorry if the formatting and paragraphing is weird. I play online video games quite a lot. This has led me to meet plenty of people who come in and out of my life a lot. Except for one of my friends who we will call James. We have talked and played together for a little over a year now. This has caused a pretty good relationship to grow between us. We text/call each other and even video chat on the occasion. James is 19 and lives in another state than I. Because we have grown so close we talk a lot about things that happen in real life and about our pasts. He mentioned to me that he has attempted suicide before, but was saved, and generally during our relationship he was never depressed or has ever shown any signs that he is still feeling like killing himself. It all started a about 6 months ago, when he got together with this woman, they dated for a few weeks and he made her pretty happy. He often makes the mistake of falling to quickly and deeply in love. When they broke up he was very depressed, the only time we would ever talk was when he was completely intoxicated. We went through a period where he would never answer calls or texts from me even. Finally, some good things happened in his life that brought him up and we were talking again. Just 2 weeks ago, he decided to try dating again. He met a girl via a dating app. They talked non stop, which made him smile and laugh and REALLY made a difference in him that even I could see from a few states away. They met each other in person as she only lived an hour away from him and everything was going great. He was talking about how much he loved her (I don't know if he told her that) and how she could be the one he marries. I didn't want to ruin his fun, as it was nice to see him happy, so I did not say anything to him about how soon it was to make statements like that. They broke up yesterday. He had text me very early in the morning when I was sleeping and I didn't get the text for another hours. All it said was "I need someone right now". I felt terrible because somehow I knew what happened. I gave him a call, no answer. I text him, no answer, so I called him again and he answered, saying he was at a friends getting drunk. I asked if he was okay, and he explained to me what happened. They broke up because "her mom told her she didn't want them to be together". He pretty much hung up on me, so I decided to give him space, as he clearly didn't want to talk about it. Today, when I asked him if he wanted to play any games (I didn't want to bug him about what happened). He said he would, so we got on and played for about 20 minutes before he left to go play a different game. After a few hours he called and sounded extremely intoxicated. He asked to play, so I hopped on the game and joined him. I asked him if he was drunk, he said he was. I could tell. This is where it gets to our conversation I asked why he was drinking so much, he explained that he has felt like he was having a heart attack all day and yesterday. He was slurring his speech, making incoherent sentences, etc. Then he (very casually) says he wants to "blow his brains out". It took me by surprise and I asked him why. He says he was in pain, saying that he wants to end it so he no longer feels how he is anymore. I got more and more concerned as he spoke. I had no idea what to say. I know for a fact that he has the means and intent to do something like that, so I asked him if he was serious, why he was going to do it. He said he was serious and said he wanted to end his pain and that he didn't deserve to live anymore. I tried to tell him that I care about him and that I would miss him, his family and friends would, etc. Anything I could think of to say to him. He just shot everything down, saying he hates everyone and that his family and friends (including me) could "fuck off and go to hell" because he will be dead and won't have to deal with the consequences of his death. I pretty much was left crying my eyes out, left not knowing what to say. All I could say was "your life matters to me, and I would be upset if you died". After repeatedly saying he didn't care, he finally says "do you think if I was actually going to kill myself I would be sitting here talking to you? No i wouldn't be". He basically started to lash out against me, and I had nothing left to say. He had shrugged off anything I could think of to say. Right now, I am heading off to work and said he could call me and I would talk to him if he needed or wanted to talk. He didn't respond and just logged off of the game. Hasn't answered my texts or calls. It's not my fault I have to go to work and can't listen to him calling me a whore for the rest of the night. But I did offer to listen while I was at work. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I'm not sure how serious his threats were, and I have no idea where he lives, no contact other than his cell phone number. I don't know if I should reach out to his family members on Facebook or if that would cause more damage.

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it is my time i’m so sorry beni’m sorry ben but i’m only sorry to you. you were lovely and nice. i will die wearing your shirt and favorite color. please do not hate me as i know i am selfish i’m sorry tho ben. so so sorry. i love you kiddo ♥️

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17m need friends Hey. I'm pretty lonely rn and would love some friends. I mainly play Apex legends, Minecraft java, valorant, and amo f us. I'm in the pst timezone. If anybody is interested please PM me. Thanks :)

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First time posting...I'm not even mad, or sad, or happy anymore. Just feel......bored? Filled with dread thinking of living a full life. I have nothing to contribute anymore. Burned so many bridges because of my mental health struggles. Now I'm a SAHM and I love my kids but can't help but think my issues will only hurt them. Seeing a therapist and psychiatrist and started new meds. I dunno, just thought I'd reach out?

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WHY JUST WHY AM I THIS DUMB I have been using mobile data for like 4 hours now tf is wrong with me I am Home what am i doing

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Bye To Anyone That Even Cares To Take Their Time And Read ThisI know this seems cliché, but I honestly feel better off dead. I realize I'm not the only one who has had a shitty life, but it's about time I think about what I want. I can't even describe, or begin to tell you ladies and gentlemen the trauma and violence I've had to put up in the past and my current status is no better. Maybe not as violent? But the memories are still there and my life was ruined way before making this thread. I had a dream before making this thread. I would like to share with each individual's undivided attention. As I said before I've been through a lot of trauma. I have been through heart aches, violence, plenty lives have fell victim in my life and resulted into me watching death do it's part. I even was one of those victims or could've been after attempting my very 1st suicide and it resulted in me being pronounced dead for 5 minutes and that's being aided by medical personnel. I'm no war veteran or anything. I simply had possibly the worse luck in this game we play called life and it's like playing chess except I was the pawn, but that's just it? I was stuck being the pawn no matter how hard I tried to do the absolute necessary to change my life for the better and it failed miserably over and over and keep in mind? I was doing this all myself. I never had a shoulder to lean on or someone to be my side and say "I love you and everything will be alright". I don't have anyone to talk to and no one thinks I'm worthy enough of their time and never take me serious. Anyways sorry for going off topic, but this dream I had was a beautiful thing. At least in my eyes. That I was laying terminally ill in my bed in a dark room with a light shining down on me. Keep in mind I am not terminally ill, nor am I mocking those that are. In fact if you want my opinion? I rather take every disease someone has and pass it down to me because there are good people in this world that don't deserve to lose their lives. I know what to expect now. Someone will say " well neither do you" or "what makes you so different from the rest of us"? Well forgive me for the only thing I can feel is my own suffering and hurting and not someone else's so of course I'm going to feel like I'm the only one at this moment with nothing to lose in which I don't and with the most pain. Life will be better without me and some will not understand me? And some might and even if you do show care? It's not genuine. Anyways I am sitting here playing with a loaded firearm I recently ripped off and stole. I know some will say " we can't stop you " nor do I expect anyone to, but you can say your worse to me and it has got to the point where if I were to recover from this? I'll just use all the hurtful things said to me as left over motivation to lead me back in the position I am right now. Take care to all of you and thank you for letting me say my final peace.

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EVERYONE STOP WHAT HAVE I DONE

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i have no reason to be alivei'm going to rant here, as to not bother or burden my friends and family, i'm not worth wasting their time lol. thankful for places like this. but anyway, the more i think about it, the more i realize i actually have no reason to be alive. i wanna die, i hurt myself, i feel depressed and anxious all the time, i get in the way, i have no clear talents...i could go on and on about it. but it truly feels like as time i goes on, i find less reasons to live. i wish it were the opposite, but it isn't. and i feel fucking selfish, because my family provides me with everything i need, and i feel so ungrateful. and that's another reason dying would be good, they wouldn't have to spend money on me, or waste their valuable time on me, or worry about me anymore. but anyway, how are you all? if anybody wants to talk, i'm all ears. feeling like this sucks. so, if anybody wants somebody they don't know to talk to, i'm all ears

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I hate how people's life's suck so wanna hear an embarrassing story to maybe cheer you up? Right so I was listening to my little pony songs and having a yt reccomendations nostalgia trip and I remembered a really embarrassing thing about me. So when I was like 8 my school was doing a talent show and nobody in my class volunteered so my teacher made my friend do it and she got me and another friend to do it. We chose to sing under our spell from the mlp rainbow rocks movie (btw them girls watching them back have a weird tension about them), I was originally a backup singer but main girl couldn't handle the role so I took it and I sung my little heart out and we got to the finals but we lost to someone singing a Bruno mars song or something idk. I was sad we lost because I was 8 and I really just sung in front of hella people only to loose. ( didn't matter to me because the prize was a tennis racket and a ball from Poundland) oh well, now I've remembered this I have a massive flex on people because I went and did that. What a power move. 8 year old me was a mythic person 10/10 would do again. Tl;dr, Sung mlp song at school talent show, gigachad move, didn't win.

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I'm so tired of livingI just want some to fucking listen, first off sorry if my grammer sucks because I'm not really concerned about that right now.....anyways. I'm so fucking tired of everyone, I want someone to really listen and understand how hurting I really am everyday, sure maybe it's not the worst every single day but it doesn't take a scientist to understand that somethings wrong with me. I'm always struggling and it feels like it'll never end, how will I ever become the person I wanna be when I don't even know what that looks like. I am hopeless, a disappointment and a failure. I try to open up to people I know, only person I'm really open with is my girlfriend but she doesn't understand how hurt I am, I love her so much. She's my only friend and only person who doesn't dismiss me, but we've fought so much lately, I thought we were past all this but it's come back. I simply just wanna die, it's like I've been in this situation far to much this year. Too be honest I'm to much of a coward, hell even my girlfriend said that I'm a coward for not being open with my parents about how I struggle. There's a lot a struggle with but it'd take forever to do it all. I just want someone to understand, I'm sorry this is vague but I'm not sure how to write all of this. Fuck me, I wish I was never born.

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I did everything I was told to do. For years. It doesn't workAnyone who looks at my post history can probably tell this is a venting account, and as people can see,I have been like this for a very long time. Ever since I stopped being a Christian back in the mid 2010s I have done everything. I have a 40 hour a week job. I exercise no less than 3 times a week. I had sex. I did meditation, even trying to join a new religion. I have gone to 3 different therapists. I have played tabletop games. I've did everything people told me that I just needed to try out. Guess what: I still want to die. It has gotten worse. I can't stop thinking about dying. I constantly am daydreaming about people being beaten to death. There is no morality. I don't even know what's right or wrong anymore. Any moral system that I try gets "UHM ACKTUALLY" 'd by some psudo philosophical idiot nihilist redditor that rules the modern world now. Worst part is that I have no good argument against them. It really is meaningless. I am just here for no reason and I hate it. It isn't fun. It's scary and I just want to stop getting out of bed anymore. I just get up because I don't know what else to do. I want to jump off a building already. I don't have much more to say. I'm sorry. This is so dumb. Everyone says to find a purpose. But that doesn't matter when rape, viruses, and murder surround us. Everyone alive now is gonna die in 100 years anyways

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Russia conspiracy I was wondering if Hillary was talking to Putin on the day of Capitol riots.

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SMIRKcolumbine 2, now only on fox

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I hope all of you have a very nice day tomorrow and that someone else does something nice for you to make your day brighter That extends to everyone, not just the people who read this post. But if you did read this post, try to be that person that makes someone's day a little better tomorrow. Talk to someone about their interests, invite a friend to hang out somewhere, talk to someone who seems lonely, compliment someone. Even the smallest acts of kindness can make someone's day, so make it a goal to make someone's day tomorrow. It doesn't matter how you are feeling because when you make someone else's day better, it'll also make yours better since you'll know you at least tried to make a difference.

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I want the pain to stopMy fiancee keeps hurting me. The nightmares from Afghanistan won't stop. I am hurting all the time. I feel so alone. I want to end it.

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(18F) bored and lonely, so anyone want to play the number game or just chat? Also you can DM me and no question is off limits https://m.imgur.com/gallery/uAhpmnf

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I have some sick sense of humor [I set this as my background](https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=H3B6GEHb&id=C057C231631AC2E2BC4CA0F602B9564749C86559&thid=OIP.H3B6GEHb_Vgqved5tTb0mQHaFv&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fimages-cdn.9gag.com%2fphoto%2faW6bwZ2_700b_v1.jpg&exph=509&expw=656&q=kiwi+bird+fruit&simid=608004783358542297&ck=1B12A529EEFC848633ECF5E9DE71C2D0&selectedIndex=0&FORM=IRPRST)

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Better without meDoes anyone ever feel like if they just disappeared, everything would be better off without them ?

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My friend keeps thinking about suicide and just told me "We're all gonna die what's the difference" just now, what should I do?She told me to stop spamming her. JUST NOW she came back to tell me she's fine and is spamming me that I shouldn't call anyone for help... What should i do?

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My friends explained my dream to me lolI showed my friends the painting I did of this lake in black and white and I said that I had a dream where I was stood at the side of this lake watching as everyone was drowning and looking on as they all drown because there was too many people and I didn’t know who to save first and i couldn’t choose and they were all drowning and there was nothing I could do and my friends said it’s because I have been taking their problems into myself and maybe they are right but like, what do i do? Friends are there to support and help each other and it’s not their fault they are all going through rough times and so I want to help but it’s giving me nightmares or more “bus-mares” i fell asleep on the bus home from college . What do i do guys? I’m just a kid, they are just kids, I’ve got my own shit but they are always there for me and I wan to be there for them but there is just so many and I have so much empathy and it makes me cry. I’m crying right now just thinking about the shit they have been through. I don’t know how to fix all their problems and I need to because no one else will. What do I do?

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This month will decide my fateI moved to another city. Far away from my crazy christian family. Brave Right? The thing is, I'm so as numb as if I was stung by a giant bee. I miss my cat, but I can't even cry. I must have a lot of motivation, to be able to rent cat friendly place by the end of the year, but I just feel nothing. I really hate life. I just want to follow the path of many missing people and just kill myself in some quiet forest.

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ughh im so done rn i got high asf and now im dying and im sick and im just dead inside

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my pronouns she/bitch fillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfiller

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Isn’t porn just weird We are watching other people having fun? Is it just me or does that make no sence...

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Anyone else hate it when you know the right answer but you've answered all the questions so you have to wait 5 minutes for the class to finally answer the question. This happens to me so much, especially in Spanish vlass because I already know like everything weve learned. But then I answer a bunch of questions before waiting for 5 minutes cause no one can or no one wants to anseer.

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my life has become a nightmareTnis will be a long read but I'm very grateful for those who will read it. I'm going to start this off by saying I've never been a happy person. I've always seeked solace in philosophy & drugs. I've done numerous drugs to try and help me. LSD, shrooms, tons of benzos & opiates, MDMA, but they always only help temporarily. I've been depressed. Always. I can't remember the last time I was happy. I can't remember the way I was before it ever came into my life. But life somehow started looking up for me, I had a well paying job, drugs, close friends, a girlfriend, a car, and just my freedom. I had everything I've ever wanted in life. I wasn't happy but I was content and had a hope for my future. Until two weeks ago where I made the worst decison of my life ; that was driving when I was fucked up. I was coming home from a day filled with popping pills and smoking with friends, & I made the most selfish, stupid decision of driving under various substances. I swerved and my wheel came off the road, lost traction and pummeled me into a pickup truck. I was on the highway going 60. My car got totalled. Ambulance had to bust the windows in the back because my car flipped to get me out.I was fine besides hurting my neck and some major bruises. But I admitted in the emergency room that I was messed up & under various drugs. I got arrested and charged for wreckless driving, DUI, & plenty of drug charges they found in my car after. I'm failing all my classes. I've always had a great GPA, a really good ACT score to get me into a decent college with a nice scholarship but ive ruined that future. Besides losing my future, friends, job, car, money, freedom, & my reputation. I put two other people in the hospital. One of them is a father. Has kids. & He's been in the hospital since. He has a broken neck & in a lot of pain. I couldn't imagine what I would do to some fucker who almost killed my mom because of their dumbass decisions. Ive been living with the guilt since. That I almost killed another person, almost made some kids live without their father. I'm the lowest person and I honestly feel like I don't deserve to live. I wish I never wore my searbelt, that I was killed in the crash. I truly deserve it. Insurance isn't going to cover any medical bills. I put myself and my mom in thousands of dollars in debt. We cant afford that. She works as a single mother, supporting three kids as a fast food manager. Besides contemplating suicide daily because of living with this guilt amd regret that eats me up 24/7. Ive lost everything. I've become a disgrace to my family, to society. My brother tells me daily how I should've died & how much of a piece of shit I am. My dad was a drug addict who left our family at the age of 6, and my mom & brother tell me how I'm far worse than him. It hurts so fucking much. All of this does. I can't bear this emotional pain. I never meant to hurt anyone in my entire life. Ive always been so nice and caring to others because I know life is hard & I only wish to bring good to others. But I've fucked my life up beyond repair. I don't see a way out of this. I don't want one. I just wish I had the fucking balls to end this guilt and misery I feel ALL the fucking time. I can't keep living. I don't deserve to. The only person who has a little faith in me is my girlfriend. I love this girl to death. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. Shes the only one who has faith in me & support me. But I can't even see her with no car. I don't have a phone to talk to her. I'm probably going to lose her too. I hate that I'm making people suffer because of my decisons. These poor people I almost killed, my family, my girlfriend, my friends. I've truly lost everything. I hope so much that I just can end it all. To stop feeling this misery. To never have to see another day. Hopefully one day I will. Thank you for reading.

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our religion teacher looks like a Pedo and wanted us to write something about our greatest fear he would then eventually read like wtf the whole room was just terrified

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DetachedI feel so completely detached, i don't know what to write here.. I just need help.

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Thoughts about suicide became everyday routineThis is happening during last 3 years. It started pretty weak, I thought about suicide once in a month, but then it became worse and worse. I already had 4 real suicide attempts which ended up in reanimation. Actual planning of suicide and not such successful attempts were way more than 4. Today thoughts about suicide became my everyday routine before I go to sleep. Sometimes this is the only thing that can make me fall asleep - knowing that one day I will finally die and this all will end. It make me feel calm. I know this is sick. I never wanted my life to be this way. But this is how it is. One thing that I wish more than anything is that one lucky day I will have real opportunity to do it. When I'll be all alone and I'll be in right mood. I'll drink some alcohol and hang myself. P.S. Yes, I recovered by depression with meds and therapist. You can see that this didn't help. Mental health care is very poor in my country. So no one will help me. I don't even know why I write it here, just some kind of venting.

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I thought I was ready to kill myselfI had a hot bath, I cut my left wrist and was planning to just bleed out, i thought it was pretty aesthetic how the water started to look, and how the blood was flowing from my wrists. I started to feel scared, very scared. I'm an atheist, and I accept that there is nothing after we die, but coming so close to it made me scared. Or maybe I'm just a pussy, or going out hannah baker style isn't how I want to go. I think i'll make a bucket list before I die. There's a few things I want to do before I die. I've never eaten a steak before, I think I'll try that. I did check off one thing from my bucket list today now that I think about it. I think I'll revisit some old memories from when I was a kid, the area isn't far from me. I'm good looking, funny, confident, great hair, great voice, i have women, i have money, but I'm not happy. My entire personality feels empty, I just emulate whatever character I've seen before, for whatever suits the situation. I don't really feel like a person. When i'm not trying to emulate anyone, all I really am is just angry, edgy, unfunny, blunt, and above all just stubborn. My refusal to change as I grew up is ultimately why I am suffering, my suffering has always been my own fault. I realised that my attitudes towards women and my outlook on life stems from my deep hatred of my mother, growing up and even now I wanted nothing more for her to die and suffer. I wish I had talked about this to someone earlier. Maybe I would have been able to become someone more functional. I suppose the feeling of betrayal from the person I loved most will never leave me, it will always hurt, and I just can't seem to forget. My wrists really hurt, i'm in no danger of dying anymore, I'm just dizzy and want water. Maybe I don't even want to die, if i truly dead I wouldn't be alive right now. Or perhaps its the natural instinct to survive that's restricting me?

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People are abusing their power to make me upsetthey are removing my posts and calling me names like lazy when i am very hard working. I want to just disappear.

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Just Released "Hoshua Revolution" On iOS and Android Last summer I took a course in Unity and have spent the last couple of months creating a game using my friend's drawings. It'd be super cool if you could check it out and let me know what you think, thanks.

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Guys, I finally came out, The house to go to school. What did you expect?

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I fell in love with a married woman.I fell in love with my best friend, who happens to be a married woman. Not ling after she says she fell in love with me too. For 10 months we were "together" trying to figure out how for her to leave her bad marriage. She told me all the time how horrible her husband is and how she wanted to live life with me. She came clean about a month ago to her husband, telling him about me. He guilted her into staying. Saying she disobeyed God and him and now she owes it to him to stay. Well she continued to tell me she believes God will let her leave someday. I found out tonight her husband told her to leave. Literally got a suitcase and put it in front of her, only for her to decide to stay. She has also gone back to sleeping with him. But in the emails she was telling me these things she was also saying how she continues to pray everyday for God to bring us together. I don't know what to do. Her husband threatened to put a restraining order on me. I feel so guilty and also at the same time so hurt by the constant back and forth "I believe we will be together, I need to stay." It's driving me insane and I don't know what to believe anymore. The constant pain is unbearable.

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15th Of February will be my last day "alive"Planning on killing myself on 15th of February (My birthday) which happens to be a day after Valentine's day , I'm not really holding on to the world , everything is fucked up , my life is fucked up , my parents are fucked up , everyone is just telling me "they can't handle it , so , you must handle it" and I can't handle everything , I'm fed up of this , who's supposed to be dealing with who , this isn't how it's supposed to be , plus , this isn't how it's supposed to end but hell i have no choice , I'd love to thank the internet , GOT , Mr. Robot , Rick and Morty , Sherlock , Batman , Deadoool , Breaking Bad , Tokyo Ghoul and mainly thank Reddit for postponing my death this long , Ain't nobody gonna miss me , Nobody prayed for me , Peace out. P.s: this is not for attention , I don't really care about this , this is a new account anyway

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People should be born at -1 years old so 13 yearolds can't be considered teenagers ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

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I can’t imagine a future in which I don’t kill myselfI’m so scared of everything School gives me so much anxiety I can’t Why did my parents birth me on this planet

suicide

remember children: making fun of your own trauma is dark humour but making fun of someone else’s trauma is cruel. don’t get it twisted

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Fucks sakeRight I’m 14 and I’m a fat cunt I’m about 14 stone and I just sit on my ass, I want to lose weight and get ripped but i just have this feeling that it will never happen, it’s too hard to lose weight and takes too long, plus all the things I plan to do, I do it for a bit then holy shit! Somehow it all just stops and I can’t be fucking arsed anymore! Sick of my fucking like. Jesus Christ.

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okay so maybe I'm back 😳😳😳😳 ayo I was in my hibernation period for like 2 weeks or smth now I've finally come out of my cave 😳 and bro i'm fucking starving rn 😩 what's new? what did I miss?

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If there are Trump supporters in American schools that bully the poor and Muslims they need to be branded as unAmerican! And be exposed as the Putin loving scum that they are! In the end the liberal homosexuality approving American Muslims will get the justice that they deserve!

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Did you know? Watermelons are slightly alcoholic. The rind of the fruit creates a substance that mixes with the juice of the melons, equaling the alcoholic content of 2 beers, per 1 watermelon!

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It just hurts.Im a married guy in his late thirtys. I just want to be normal and have kids but i never will. I got dignosed in my early 20s as having borderline personality disorder. Bpd effects people in different ways. For me it makes me feel like knowone wants or cares about me. All the time. For me this is a huge deal. I need to be loved and wanted or there is no point being alive. I feel like a massive burden to my wife and family. Im deeply ashamed that i havent succeded in life like my brother and sister. I work hard but i never seem to get anywere because as soon as i get an opportunity i self sabotage because i refuse to let myself be happy. I think my wife who i love with all my heart has had it with me. No one seems to care. I get told to shut up. I get told im making people uncomfortable. I plan on killing myself before christmas. I just hate myself so much i cant contain it. I just want to die a really painfull harsh death so that i can be punished for the disharmony i have created on this earth. I only seem to be able to remember the negitive things that happen to me. People always seem to use then discard me. My mother died when i was 17 and i never remotely got over it. Its still as raw as when it happened. All i can do is try not to think about her. I dont want to go on living in misery. Im only here still here because even though i feel ive ruined my wifes life she is the reason im still here. I stood on a highway overpass on my lunch break and tryed really hard to get the courage to jump but i was just to scared and i guess i knew the drop wasnt enough. Noone cares. They tell me to "man up" or to think "positive". I cant feel or understand how they care when all they do is reject me and push me away. Meds dont work. Therapy dont work. I just dont know how the fuck to go on. Why should i be expected not to kill myself when i view the world like this?

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dont mind me, just gotta vent for a minute even though im a happily quarantined introvert attending online school, 2020 has still been rough, as it has for everyone. i seriously think this year is cursed. ive been insecure, lonely, depressed, and constantly anxious for years now, although its all been going quickly downhill recently. despite how happy i was to be free from attending irl school, i found myself missing the little social connection/affection that i was getting. that emptiness and longing has been growing faster and faster; i cant stop thinking about having a loving relationship, and every time it pops in my head, it eventually leads to thoughts of inadequacy because i feel like i'll never have one. i cant stop judging myself for how fucking ugly i am - i wish i could just accept it and move on, but its always in the back of my mind gnawing at me. i dont have any real-life friends, ive been fighting with my parents more than ever, and the only person i really trust anymore is my half sister (my only sibling) - but shes 25 and always busy with her own life, so i hardly ever get to speak to her. on top of all this, my mom is a therapist, so i'd feel really guilty asking to see a different one - if i asked, it would probably just lead to a painstaking argument that would leave me in tears again. my mind is in a near-constant state of turmoil, and the only way to cope is to jump from obsession to obsession in order to run away from my thoughts. i have no skills/talents and nothing seems to make me as happy as it used to. i cant stop noticing flaws with myself, i always blame myself for everything, and i cant get rid of this \*\*stupid fucking desire for cuddles.\*\* ive always had trouble expressing myself/articulating my thoughts (which i believe to be a symptom of high-functioning autism, but my mom refuses to get me tested), so i have trouble opening up to people even when i want to. as a result of all of this, i feel like im caving in on myself, and i just dont know how much longer i can last. if youve made it this far, thanks for reading. sorry if this all seems incoherent or random; i just needed to get this off my shoulders. stay healthy, stay safe. love you all <3

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Everything is my fault.Guys I'm so tired. I'm so tired and I'm so desperate. I'm never enough and a huge screw up. I just want to tell someone I love them and hold them. I'm so scared and alone. I love you.

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Bro what the frick is happening with gamestop Can someone explain it to me please

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i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die anymore and i think that's pretty cool ^(lyrics btw)

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..I have never considered posting this.. but i need help..Hi reddit. Im an normal person, normal life, normal school, normal everything ( except for my english maybe. it sucks so please ignore that) Anyway.. im being abused by my dad since im 5.. im right now 14.. my dad is harrasing me **every** day.. im too afraid to come home from school since he always harrases me and sometimes even hits me when my mom isnt home, im fine at school, but when i get home im really scared.. he always does this when my mom isnt home i told her that he does this she told him to stop 10000times but he doesnt he just continues, so i gave up telling my mom because i dont wanna bother her, i cry every night in bed, they dont hear me luckily. but i just feel so powerless, i sometimes consider suicide but i never end up doing it because im too afraid.. my sister left at 18 because she was getting abused too. please i need help.. i have never ever posted my never ending story on reddit, hotline or wherever, i tried posting this 5 times but i always was too afraid to post it.. things he says for example is : fat pig, worthless kid, why are you born? , animal. please help.

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i need helpam i human?

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one wrong turning too manyi will always be lonely. i will never be happy. i try to immerse myself in poetry and books and music, but i realize these weren't aimed for me, but rather for people and from people who lived life more completely, at levels ill never even attain. no more people, no more books, for me. what's left is isolation, as before and as always. one wrong turning too many. question now is of the value of living on. there is a hardware store on the way to the trail.

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I want to hold it off for a bitI was seriously considering sticking the knife in my neck today and then all of a sudden I just broke down crying because I was afraid of dying. Foolish isn't it? There's nothing holding me back and yet I thought to myself I don't want to kill myself right now. I want to hold it off for a while. I want to wait until I'm actually ready for this, until I'm 100% sure about my decision. Fuck this was embarrassing. Breaking into tears while watching the TV. Goddammit I'm a coward.

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I need creative people advice My school have this traditions that in last year, students paint 1 wall, and this year, we want to somehow make it about online clases, and all the crazy shit that happened. Best idea autor gets candy box... any ideas? There is usually some artwork with some text

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When Will It End?I am so tired of waking up and feeling so empty and lonely. Some days I just wonder what I did to deserve this life. I pray for God to come and take me everyday. I can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, just more loneliness and pain. Just more days spent crying in bed, holding sheets to my mouth to muffle the sounds of pure agony and sadness. I’m sick of being in pain. I hope for happiness, but wonder if I even deserve a happy ending anymore. I find myself often searching for the purpose that God put me on this earth for. I love to make others feel happy and cared for because I would hate for anyone else to feel the way I do every single day. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

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Thinking...About leaving work early today. Driving and just taking pills and ending it all. I’m so tired. Tired of waiting for my php to get back to me, tired of waiting for medication to work, tired of the exhaustion to stop, tired of everyone panicking when I mention an inkling of wanting to end it. I’m just. So. Tired.

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Is anyone tryna run warzone i’m bored asf and still high and i kinda run warzone so if you have xbox and ur down leave ur gt in the comments nd i’ll add u

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I have multiple mental illnesses and after an unlucky layoff, have been unemployed for 1.5 years so I will be choosing between suicide and ??? very soon. Open to unusual suggestions.**Just read the bold text as a TL/DR if you want.** ​ **Background**: I graduated with a useless liberal arts degree - German - that I deeply regret in December 2014. The winter graduation date was a result of taking a semester off due to incapacitating mental health issues. I have a little OCD, some Borderline Personality Disorder traits, and am formally diagnosed as Bipolar Type II. I take a high dose of Lamictal but due to the nature of my diagnosis I am somewhat medication resistant and therapy has never helped much either. I fight intrusive thoughts and extreme depression on a daily basis. **I have spent 3 out of the 4 years since I graduated unemployed.** It took me a year to find a job. I was laid off from that job after only a year there because the company was doing poorly. That happened just eight months after I had left my parents' house. I didn't even make it a year on my own. That was a year and a half ago. I cannot find a fucking job. I have tried everything. ​ *The reality is that someone with almost no experience and no connections and can only rely on the internet to find work is dealing with so much competition that it is almost impossible to find a job without a STEM degree. Over the past month, for example, I have applied to 185 jobs and only made it to a 2nd round in-person interview 4 times. So here we are...* ​ **I'm ready to die. I have a note and a plan.** ​ \- I have just one friend IRL who I rarely see or hear from. On my steam friends list there is one person who I game with sometimes, he is a great friend who I have known for a couple years but we have never met. My relationship with my parents is nonexistent even though I live with them. We have never been close and they have done some fucked up things in the past. **There is very little guilt associated with the thought of leaving the 4 people who are part of my life behind.** I have read enough of r/SuicideBereavement to know what it'd do to them and I don't care most of the time. ​ \- **My suicide method of choice is irreversible. Guaranteed to kill me.** This will not be one of those impulsive acts where someone didn't take enough pills or jumped off of a building that wasn't high enough. I will be gone. Thus, I must be very certain about having no other options left. ​ \- Your life might be very different from mine and therefore you'll say "why not just find a retail or food service job and accept living with your parents?" *That is not something I can accept*. I didn't push through my terrible mental health issues to graduate with honors to live a life like this.** This house is full of traumatic memories and as depressed as I am now, there is no way I could work at Macy's or Applebees and be stuck in this house indefinitely without getting even worse and killing myself**. ​ \- **I refuse to be hospitalized and will not do outpatient either.** I was too honest with my psychiatrist a couple weeks ago and almost got myself involuntarily committed. I have a very bad attitude about therapy and meds. Trapping me in a fucking looney bin with nothing but a smock would inevitably lead to me assaulting someone and having even more problems. I refuse to be doped up on meds to the point where I think this situation is fucking fine. ​ **At this point, I don't know what the fuck I can do. Here are the things that occur to me at this point, in order from most reasonable to least:** ​ \- Sign up for a temp agency and hope to find a "temp to permanent" role that actually pans out. The problem with those jobs is that they do not pay enough to get me out of this fucking house, even if it is full time. ​ \- Accept that my life has fallen apart and that I need to start over and go back to school for a degree that is actually useful. That plan would prevent waiting tables or something awful like that from bringing me to suicide. ​ \- Get a Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) certification and leave this country for somewhere with a low cost of living. It is going down in flames and I have almost nothing keeping me here anyway. I have a car that is worth around $10,000 that I could sell to get out of here and pay for the certification. ​ \- Accept my suicide as inevitable - living with all of these conditions is fucking terrible - and do something radical like selling the aforementioned car and blowing my money on some kind of cross country trip or even a one way ticket to somewhere else. $10k gets you a long way in a third world country. You may laugh at this but I'm actually kind serious about this one. ​ \- Kill myself. Send my note to everyone as a text before doing it. That's it. This miserable existence I never asked for would be over. I have had sex, fallen in love, been to Europe, enjoyed meaningful friendships, done psychedelics. Its been nice. But I can't take this shit anymore at the same time. Every day is the same. Sitting at this fucking desk. Miserable. Insane. Lonely. Hopeless. I think about suicide constantly. ​ **Do you have any ideas for me? What would you do?** ​

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How do u become a mod here? I have no idea, just interested in what the whole process is

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Bye guys.I'm just here to say, that suicide is definitely the right option for some people. Don't let people who don't understand your own personal situation otherwise. I'm not saying that it's a good thing to do, but for some, like me, it's definitely the best choice. Bye bye.

suicide

I fucking hate my familyI hate the fact that my parents were super strict in raising me and breathe down my neck constantly. As if it isn't embarrassing enough being 24 years old, living with my family, still haven't finished college, and don't have a license. My mother worries about EVERY.LITTLE.THING. and it has caused me to have severe anxiety and I cannot complete simple tasks without having a panic attack. I struggle to have any kind of relationship to the point where I just gave up doing that so I just focus on school and working while I spend all my free time on my phone wasting away.I fucking hate that they brought me into this world full of suffering where I cannot be taken seriously by anyone and will always be inferior compared to someone else. I don't want therapy, I don't want drugs, I am sick and fucking terrified of the half-assed condescending bullshit phrases that people say like: "It gets better". No it fucking doesn't and it never will so what is the point? If you are not fully equipped mentally to have children, do society a favor and don't fucking breed.

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You shall be silenced No more spamming the bee movie script. It shall cease. Immediately.

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8 reasons i don't want to livewhen i consider the option of death, i usually think of the following problems: 1. i have depression. 2. i have an eating disorder. i was somewhat fat, then lost some weight but now can't eat normally, usually overeat. 3. because of 2. my boobs are not that firm anymore, not sure if they're even beautiful. 4. this summer i will have to pass exams in order to enter the university, but all this uni stuff, grades, papers is stressing me out. 5. i have bad vision (-3.5 both eyes). and i am afraid it might get worse. 6. i am a girl, as you noticed, therefore i have my periods. every damn month. so stupid, pointless and painful. 7. i live in country i don't really want to live in, but don't have other optins right now since i'm 17. 8. family issues, mostly daddy ones.

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I’m going to kill myself. Anyone wanna chat before I do it?Yeah I know this looks like a cry for attention but I’m a bit past that. I know exactly what this sized line will do cross referenced with my body weight and zero tolerance for said substance. Even if I don’t die at least I’ll find out I’m immortal. Lol. Feel like having a nice, real conversation before I go. That’s all.

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Never thought I'd be having suicidal thoughts.I don't really care that this is my main account. I'm currently camping with my four best friends in the world. We planned this trip for ages and now it's actually happening, but once again my mental illness ruins things for everyone. Last night I freaked out because they wanted to go for a walk in the woods at midnight without phone signal and I was terrified they might die. One of my friends gave me a much deserved talking to and said that the world shouldn't revolve around me, which is of course right. I shouldn't be controlling them, it's just the anxiety talking. I stayed up with my absolute best friend and another friend until three, when we decided to go to bed. However, despite knowing I was in a fragile mental state my best friend decides to go off and leave me upset. I messaged them asking just to chat because I was lonely, to be told that I was making a big deal out of nothing and I should forget about it. You can't just forget anxiety issues, they're always there. I cried myself to sleep, then woke early this morning shaking. Some mean part of me wanted to make them worry about me as much as I worry about them, so I took my blanket and went for a long walk in the woods to see if I could spot some wild boar. I got back after about an hour but noone had contacted me asking where I was even though I knew they were awake, so I went and sat by the cafe and browsed reddit until one friend found me. She said she'd been looking everywhere for me and that my best friend was worried sick. I was finally happy - he actually cared. When we got back to the tent, he was asleep. I don't know about you but when I'm worried sick about someone I don't fall asleep until they're found. I left again. I'm now sat by the cafe again crying my eyes out. I'm always there for them, but I never feel like they care for me at all. I'm entertaining suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life - maybe if I killed or seriously injured myself they'd finally care about me? I'm tempted to make myself throw up right now so they might actually take me seriously. I'm a disgrace, and everyone's fed up with me. At least if I killed myself they'd actually care.

suicide

Please help my friendI don’t know what to do. He kept talking about how it is so difficult for him and that no one cares about him. I tried to listen, and state that there are a lot of people who care about him but I don’t know if it’s working. He said to not be surprised if he doesn’t respond. Please.

suicide

sometimes my friend is chaotic good, sometimes just chaotic His neighbours and antimaskers and wont let others around the neighbourhood wear masks. My friend knows his mom would die if she got covid. His solution? While they were away he poured molten thermite on their car and threw the sprinker in trough their window. Another time he just overdosed on antohistamines because he tought it was fun. He also burned down an abandoned house

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Is this actually DBT, or is this just bad therapy for depression?My therapist's response to "I wish I could die without affecting anyone else," was "Well that's impossible. Of course people who love you would miss you. I would miss you. It would be devastating!" That seems little short of guilt tripping. I won't say it's totally ineffective, but I kind of expected more from a DBT intensive therapist. Or does DBT assume that the greatest motivation is positive attention? Because it totally leverages the therapuetic relationship like it means more to me than anything else in the world. Like, Sorry, you're ok and all, but you're just my therapist. I don't even know you. Self harm has been officially unamed "unacceptable," and is punnishable by 24 hours of no contact/no phone coaching. Phone coaching, the thing they're supposed to try to get you to use instead of trying (again) to kill yourself... If somebody's so desperate they're self-harming, possibly with intent to kill. You can totally fix it by leveraging the need for continued attention against the need to feel better at any cost. For the love of god, why is there the assumption someone really just wants attention more than anything, and if they get it for being "good" (presenting as asymptomatic) and not for being "bad" (symptomatic), they'll stop self harming or attempting suicide (being symptomatic)? You cannot just *manipulate* me out of being suicidal. That's not how this works. I came to DBT for a robust empirically proven form of therapy that is supposedly... heavy-duty, or industrial strength or whatever. Supposedly perfect for severely depressed chronically suicidal people. That's what I came for, but I'm not sure what it is that I'm getting. It assumes people are illogical attention-motivated children above all else. While I'm not some mastermind genius, I find that pretty insulting. What, do I get a gold star for each day without self-harm, too? I know! Let's go full out in behaviorism and do a token economy. /s I'm studying psychology and neuroscience, and this shit does not jive with what I've been taught to expect of DBT. I'm disappointed, really. Flat out salty. That and it's full of jargon that I can hardly begin to parse out. My therapist says I need to work on my Committment to Living like it's a proper noun or something. Oh and Mindfulness as a cure to everything including all misery of existence. I don't like mindfulness, I actually kind of hate it, and the deep breathing bullshit too. It doesn't work. I don't like this toolkit, I don't like this therapy, and I hate this life. --Treatment resistant depressive. Nothing works. Not even a little.

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I fail at lifeYeah. That's it. I mean, I've got some legit issues. PTSD, anxiety disorder. I'm on meds. I'm in therapy. But I have my kids' stepmom telling them that she's their real mom and that they should tell me not to come to school activities because she's coming instead...I make a fool of myself in front of people on a regular basis because apparently I have no capacity for interacting with others...my fiance thinks I'm an incompetent idiot...I can't leave because of my kids, right? that's what they say. But they're already being brainwashed into thinking I'm not as important as their stepmom. I'm trying to assemble the suicide bag thingy and I can't figure out the valve...I fail at this, too.

suicide

New iPhone is T H I C C lol new iphone is T H I C C i don't even like iphone lol

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A new interrogation method is force feeding the victim straight Vegemite and Weetbix with no milk For the Vegemite, one spoonful at a time; for the Weetbix one biscuit

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hey you, yes you, You really need to do something and that thing is To mention your best friend in the Comment owo "do it"

non-suicide

Let me explain to you why suicide is the best thing ever for ANYBODYSuicide is awesome. Because suicide by definition is the intentional taking of own's life. You take your own life. Your actions do it. Nature doesn't kill you, you don't die just randomly, no you fucking do it. Isn't that awesome? I think it is...because death is fucking great, and your own actions cause it. I love death. And today death is going to become reality for me. I'm really depressed and i have anxiety, but i haven't told anyone. Because i just don't see the point in it really. What good would that do me? I get help...and i kill myself some other time. Because that's just the way my brain is. So fuck it Reddit. Let's go out with a bang shall we. I had this eternal struggle for a very long time and i made up my mind. And i'm happy because it's going to be over soon Reddit. But Reddit i need to ask you something first. Do you want to watch it? My suicide. Because if you do, then yeah i can livestream it. I don't care. I know some people find it fucked up and not cool, but a lot of people want to see it right? So i'm down Reddit...i'm down ​ I'm going to kill myself in a isolated place so i don't know when people will find my body, if ever even. That's the way i prefer. I don't want to hurt people that are close to me. Okay that sounded wrong, i know i'm going to hurt them if i disappear but it's not going to much of a mind fuck like a suicide would be. At least that's what i think. Anyway Reddit if you want to see it, tell me and i'll make a post before i go live okay?

suicide

I want to die honorableI don't know if this is suicidal but I want to die in a way that I myself find glorious. While I know I would never harm myself willingly, I yet desire to cease existing. But as the good nature in me calls for doing something good and helping others I want to die in a battle. I would like to join some militia or organization that fights terror groups or generally saves other people so I could at least do something good for other people one last time before I leave. And in case I don't die from that then great. But I doubt it because I am not good. I have never been to the military because my health problems are too much of a burden. And where I live almost every male goes to the military at adult age. So I also feel like I am missing out on something important even though I don't regret having to go there. But yet perhaps that would make it up for this. I mean someone without experience like me will die fast anyway, right? So doing something good and something I feel proud of while leaving with honorable actions is just the perfect setup. Because else I am just a burden and non-loved by anyone. I cannot love myself because I can only do that if others love me as well. I am the kind of person that depends on others. I have to push myself and if I can't go on I just feel horrible. For years I have tried following my dreams, actually doing my best to achieve things in life but all failed. Sure I tried and did my best, there is nothing more I can do. But this is exactly what bothers me. If my best isn't enough to continue, what else can I do? You don't wanna see me try my worst if my best is already that horrible... And I had enough always having to fight for things I never get in the end while others get it laid out on their hands. Be it job and career or love life. Sure I have friends and family, I have a roof over my head and food on the plate. But life is more than just surviving, especially in these times where society expects much more of someone. I often say I just wanna die but when I say I wanna die I really just mean I wanna finally start living and not just surviving like right now. But the more days pass, the more I think perhaps it actually is for the better if I do die. Today it pushed me on the edge, I had to hold a blade to my throat and chest for the first time in many many years. To think I really be pushed that hard... But I don't know why for some reason I still do have hope. I kinda always have hope for something. I cannot explain this phenomenon. Even if I think I plan to die in battle, I yet have hope to leave it alive and gaining new experience and mindset that could change me positively. Even in such negativity, I find positivity. But this all is a double-edged sword. the one side that has hope that something good could happen but the other side that is right now a bit sharper than the other, the side that just wants me to die. Does anyone else feel like this? Can you understand this? And yes I am already trying to get help but I will not know the outcome in the end of all this

suicide

Please i need a username Idk just say any name in the comments please Filler filler filler filler filler

non-suicide

Should I kill myself since no one wants to talkI mean I try to help people on here but the conversation never go anywhere after we talk for a bit, I’m not saying that I want a relationship, I just want a fuckin friend. Someone that just asks questions and doesn’t get bored after 20 minutes

suicide

Suicide bridgeI'm jumping off the Pasadena suicide bridge. Xmas eve. It feels good to say it. It's happening. I'm leaving 3 kids behind and an ex wife. I'm tired off feeling worthless and alone. I'm done. I wish I could fast forward till xmas eve. I hate that I have to wait. But it's one of the last times I'll be completely alone

suicide

When ever I look up my username in the reddit search bar r/socialistamerica shows up. I have no idea why but it is certainly interesting.

non-suicide

Would you guys join a discord server based on pirating? Pretty much a place where there are guides on how to pirate things and you can request things like games or movie and movie rooms where people can watch movies(not with screen sharing but another method)

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I'm fucking screwed in the headI want to sell harm and show someone how wonderful it is to watch myself bleed. I know that sounds so bad.

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How do I explain the term cringe to my mom? She has no idea about internet culture. So how do I go about explaining it?

non-suicide

I just need to get things off of my chest before I do it.I can't take life anymore, it fucking hurts me to go through everyday. My life is fucking shit, I'm poor. I hate it. Most of the time I can't afford food, I'm living in a two bedroom fucking house with five other people. The only reason I can get on the internet it because we all pitch in on it. The only people left in this word that I have are my brothers, no friends. I know life will never be any fucking different for me, I can't afford college, hell I can barely make it through High-school. I'm a fucking poor idiot, i don't want to live like this forever and I think the only way to stop living like this is to just stop living all together.

suicide

Find out the most about me for gold Got banned from r/goforgold cuz i said ‘i want a fucking platinum’ and got it Anyways find out the most about me i don’t care where u get the info from i wanna see if i should delete this account cuz it’s not anonymous enough. winner gets gold

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Omfg idk imqhat to dosI'm drunk af idk what to do I'm drunk ad Sand I want to kms but my f3ins's here My friend's here And he k owns that I swear harms u Clint so antthing

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Looks down ​ https://preview.redd.it/g4chl7p2qem61.jpg?width=1245&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89af0ed1fa6e097e1e0f6c04462da3daeb3011a8

non-suicide

ive cleaned my room after 2 years! wish i had took a picture

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What's the point in life when you've never had anyone to share it with?I'm lonely. I have no friends, no family and no girlfriend. I've never had friends, family or a girlfriend. I've always been alone. All I've ever had is coworkers, fellow students and care givers. I fear that since I missed out on all of that that I will never have anyone in my life. I don't know what the issue is but I seem to lack the social skills to find someone. I keep getting close but it never works out. There is always something that happens and usually it's beyond my comprehension that just causes everything to end abruptly. I hate volunteering, I hate working, I hate waking up everyday. I just want to die now. I don't see things ever being any different. The only people that do show up in my life want something. I don't care about me. All they do is tell me all about themselves and when I reciprocate with about me they tune me out. This is a horrible world. It's never been fun. I've never been happy. Everywhere I've ever went I've been alone doing it. It's always sucked. I don't even want anything other than just someone to share my life with. I can't wake up tomorrow alone again. I don't want to be in this world anymore. Please make life stop.

suicide

Rapists and paedophiles should be punished via castration. For this of you that don't know, castration is removal of genitals. Paedophiles and rapist simply don't deserve them.

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Fking got roasted First year uni student here doing compsci. Fking got roasted by my mom cuz im changing my major to art. I dont even know if im able to change my major becuz im basically reapplying for uni. Holyfk never listen to other people. I picked comp sci becuz of my family and my sister graduated from uwaterloo software engineering. I cant catch up i regret everything.

non-suicide

Thinking about it againYou have to be really desperate to want to go through a second suicide attempt. I tried once about 15 years ago. I spent 16 days in the ICU. I came out of it mostly unscathed. But after years of trying to take my life back and move on I've found that I can't stand my family and I don't think I like myself anymore. I just want to go to sleep. I'm alone all day. I was thinking car and carbon monoxide.

suicide

I seriously need someone.Someone, anyone. I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm sick of the crying and the stress and feeling like a fucking burden to everyone. I can't. I'm done.

suicide

Maybe tmi but I need help I'm stuck on the toilet with nonstop Diarea (dk how to spell it), with no toilet paper, Noone home.The earliest someone will come is in 3 hours. Anyone got advice oh god

non-suicide

the republican party’s response to the pandemic can be summarized in one sentence if we help people now, the democrats will want to help people later. just to be clear i ain’t sayin nothin bout individual republicans, the vast majority of republicans are good people, but republican elected officials tend to be shitty people, obviously not all of them tho, the mayor of my city is a republican, and so far (were only 2 months in) he’s doing a wonderful job, we had no reason to think he would be a good mayor, and we shouldn’t have elected him but i’m glad we did (so far). seriously idk how he got elected, this is a very liberal city, and he was our fucking police chief, and a bad one at that

non-suicide

anyone wanna talk? i’m boreddd pm mee ————————————————————————————————————————————

non-suicide

How do I tell my mom all I can think about is killing myself?How do I tell my mom all I can think about is killing myself? What is the next step after I tell her? What’s the best and worst case scenario? I’m already in therapy and taking meds but nothing is getting better. Is there even anything besides therapy and meds that would help? I don’t know what to do. I feel like suicide is inevitable for me.

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I don't know why I deserve this3rd(?) time posting. I'm still lost. I just friends, maybe to feel wanted or loved I guess. I don't know. I just wish I could keep friends.

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SHE SAID YESSSSS Finally i asked her for a date and she said yes and where i proposed her and guess what SHE SAID YESSSSS

non-suicide

don't know what to do.everyday feels more melancholic than the last, so much free time to just sit here and contemplate - i don't know how much more i'll be able to handle. i can't just get up and end my life, i know it'll destroy the one person who cares about me, my mother. i just don't know what to do anymore, i'm stuck.

suicide

Update:Not going to the hospital at the moment. Please don't question this decision. It IS what is best right now. I MAY go next week...but I don't know. I am no longer feeling on the edge and I actually slept better than I have in forever last night. My youngest son's 5th birthday is Monday. He is the one who has kidney disease so I am looking forward to that. *Breathes* I go see my psychiatrist today at 9:40 am and I will ask her to up my meds I think. I thank all of you for the support you've given me. My neighbor and my daughter sat with me last night and we had a deep talk about things. As I said I feel much better. <3

suicide