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f6lcx2

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/98d0xh/puppy_playdate_human_disappeared_and_left_pup_at/) So, I am completely unsure of what to do here. I have a 6 month old large breed puppy, and my dog trainer put me in contact with another one of her clients, Candice, who has a mastiff mix just a little older than my guy, so they could play together. It’s been a great match, and we had our 5th playdate at 10am today. The pups were playing happily in my backyard, and Candice went inside to use my bathroom. After 30 minutes passed, I began to worry. I called her cellphone to check on her and it went directly to voicemail. I leashed both puppies up and went inside to see if something was wrong. She wasn’t in the bathroom, and her car was gone. I called her several more times, and left quite a few voicemails. I called our trainer, who also is unable to get in touch with her. I tried to find her on Facebook but couldn’t. I called the police non emergency line and they basically responded with “that’s weird....well...good luck with that!” and gave me the number for the humane society. I called them to see if they could scan his chip and and they told me that service is only available during business hours, they’re not open because it’s a holiday, and that I should know they’re completely full so if I drop him off there, that another dog’s life that will probably end. The pup seems content for the most part, he and my guy are pretty much just hanging out together. He’s a really sweet boy. Her pup has had a few little bouts of crying and searching for his mom though and I feel bad for the poor guy. Luckily we have 2 crates already so I just crated both of them separately for nap time. I really have no idea what to do here. I’m worried about Candice and confused as to what I should do next. **Edit 1:** After being advised to look around my house for any missing items, I’ve found that Candice has stolen a bottle of champagne and a few wine glasses (very strange choices, given that I have much more valuable items that she chose not to take). After realizing that she lightly robbed me, I’m pretty sure that she didn’t have to run off to deal with an emergency. I also called the cops again and reported the theft and that Candice left her dog with me. They offered to take him to the humane society for me, but I’ve decided to keep him with me until this is all sorted or I can find him a better home. Best case scenario, Benson never was Candice’s dog, and I’ll be able to return him to his rightful owners. Worst case scenario he doesn’t have a chip. **Edit 2:** Drove to the emergency vet and back, Benson doesn’t have a chip so no luck there. The vet is going to put out some feelers to other local vet offices to see if anyone knows this pup or Candice. Cops came to get info and look at footage from my security cameras. The cameras didn’t capture any plates, unfortunately. They told me they are still looking for her though, and are going to send a car to drive past my house a couple times, since this is such a strange circumstance Benson is happy and has been happily chilling with my other dogs, he’s now snuggled up on the couch with my fiancé. I almost posted a pic of him and my baby boy, but my fiancé doesn’t want me to because he’s a bit paranoid, so I’m going to respect his wishes. **Edit 3:** We have possibly tracked down the vet that Candice was taking Benson to. My veterinarian emailed several other local vets a picture of Benson and a picture of Candice, and I just got a call from one of them who’s pretty sure that Benson was one of his patients. --- [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/9cfcp6/update_puppy_play_date_human_who_left_her_puppy/) We brought Benson to that vet, he clearly recognized staff there and the vet confirmed that he’d been her patient. The issue was that they didn’t want to give me any information about Candice, or even any info regarding Benson’s medical history (other than to tell me he has gotten his rabies vaccine). In fact, she didn’t even want to let me take Benson back home with me. I think she may have believed I’d stolen him. She made several failed attempts to contact Candice. We spent SIX hours at the vets office because the vet refused to let us take Benson back home with us until she contacted his owners, and we refused to abandon Benson at the vet. Eventually she was able to contact Candice’s soon-to-be-ex husband, Eric. He explained that Candice hadn’t come home for a few days (based on his timeline, he hadn’t seen her since well before she came over for the play date) and that he hadn’t heard from her and couldn’t reach her cell. The reason I’ve taken so long to update is because for a little bit, Candice was considered a missing person, and I wasn’t sure if me posting on reddit about it was appropriate. The vet urged Eric to come pick Benson up immediately. When he showed up, Eric had a bunch of questions for me about the last time I saw Candice, and when I told him she’d stolen the champagne he got very upset and told me that Candice is a recovering alcoholic. Eric expressed that he was very nervous to take Benson home, because Candice was the one who cared for Benson and he didn’t know how to care for a dog at all. I offered to keep watching Benson at my house until Candice returned home, if Eric would be willing to compensate us for his food and other expenses. Eric seemed relieved, accepted this offer and wrote us a check. So, we watched Benson for several days. And I talked to the cops one more time about the last time I saw Candice. Then yesterday, Eric called me and told me that Candice had been tracked down. She’s relapsed into her alcoholism, committed a felony whilst under the influence, will most likely be spending several years behind bars, and Eric has decided to divorce her. I called the police to confirm Eric’s story, which they more or less did (wouldn’t confirm the alcoholism or drunkenness, but Candice did commit a serious crime). As for Benson, Eric didn’t want to take him and offered to “sell” him to us (for a dollar, just to make things legal and easy to document). My fiancé had grown very fond of Benson, and Eric was going to take him to shelter otherwise, so we accepted. We made certain that it’s a legal sale and as of today he is officially our dog. It’s really nice actually, all of our other dogs have bonded primarily with me but Benson, for whatever reason, is the first pup we’ve had who is ALL about my fiancé. Sorry for taking so long to update! I really appreciate everyone who gave me great support/advice and helped navigate this strange situation!

Puppy play date, human disappears

r/puppy101

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f6lcx2/puppy_play_date_human_disappears/

f6w2gt

[Original on TIFU 'today i fucked up'](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/a99fw9/tifu_by_buying_everyone_an_ancestrydna_kit_and/) Earlier this year, AncestryDNA had a sale on their kit. I thought it would be a great gift idea so I bought 6 of them for Christmas presents. Today my family got together to exchange presents for our Christmas Eve tradition, and I gave my mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters each a kit. As soon as everyone opened their gift at the same time, my mom started freaking out. She told us how she didn’t want us taking them because they had unsafe chemicals. We explained to her how there were actually no chemicals, but we could tell she was still flustered. Later she started trying to convince us that only one of us kids need to take it since we will all have the same results and to resell extra kits to save money.   **Fast forward:** Our parents have been fighting upstairs for the past hour, and we are downstairs trying to figure out who has a different dad. TL;DR I bought everyone in my family AncestryDNA kit for Christmas. My mom started freaking. Now our parents are fighting and my dad might not be my dad.   **Update:** Thank you so much for all the love and support. My sisters, brother and I have not yet decided yet if we are going to take the test. No matter what the results are, we will still love each other, and our parents no matter what.   **Update 2:** CHRISTMAS ISN’T RUINED! My FU actually turned into a Christmas miracle. Turns out my sisters father passed away shortly after she was born. A good friend of my moms was able to help her through the darkest time in her life, and they went on to fall in love and create the rest of our family. They never told us because of how hard it was for my mom. Last night she was strong enough to share stories and photos with us for the first time, and it truly brought us even closer together as a family. This is a Christmas we will never forget. And yes, we are all excited to get our test results. Merry Christmas everyone!

I bought everyone in my family AncestryDNA kit for Christmas. My mom started freaking.

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f6w2gt/i_bought_everyone_in_my_family_ancestrydna_kit/

f6xo8t

[Original in r/Scotland](https://www.reddit.com/r/Scotland/comments/f4x1o6/theres_a_squatter_in_our_basement_stay_tuned_for/) There’s a squatter in our basement, I’m going to ask him a few questions later when bringing him some supplies. https://i.imgur.com/nGIXQhP.jpg   **Update 1:** I first heard about him from a neighbour in the flat going around warning people about someone in the basement, and that she was calling the police (I’m not sure if she did). My first inclination was also to call the police. My morbid curiosity got the best of me though so my flustered hello found its way down the stair well. The man who replied seemed immediately innocuous and then I started talking to him. He was self aware about his situation but didn’t ask for sympathy. When I asked if I could bring him supplies or even money, he said he’s okay. Unfortunately it’s not particularly warm down there, the back door doesn’t close properly (hence how he got in) It was a mix of sad and sweet when he proudly showed me his sleeping bags. Like how I might show a friend a new camera.   **Update 2:** Joe and I are mates now I met his friend while going to check up on him last night at 3am. He was also very sweet and friendly. I made them both my signature scrambled eggs with some dessert. [pic below] I’ve bought him a good supply of snacks and hygiene products for him and his friends. I hope he stays as long as he pleases, I’ll try and find the funds to get him some other stuff but I’m pretty skint myself at the moment.   **Update 3:** I have now developed more of a plan for how i will help out the homeless morale and already have a real estate company wanting to invest in the project. Tentatively the [@joeinitiative](https://www.instagram.com/joeinitiative/) on Instagram. https://i.imgur.com/XgGtxeN.jpg

There’s a squatter in our basement

r/Scotland

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f6xo8t/theres_a_squatter_in_our_basement/

f7e30u

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/40aps3/should_i_pay_for_sex/) So some background. I'm a 37 yo virgin. I was shy growing up then got very sick (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) when I was in my early 20's, very slowly got better and I'm sort of okay now, I can do a part time job anyway. I would love an relationship but I think it's the fear of the unknown that's my biggest problem along with a good dose of social anxiety. I live in a small town and there are not many single women here. I have trouble with the idea that someone would want to be with me. I've been told I would be a good partner but I lack self-confidence when it comes to women. I actually find it easier to talk to women then men but I have a lot of trouble taking it to the next level, I have women friends and they have said it would probably help with my confidence. I just always thought it would be something I would share with someone I love that's all. I have been kissed, I've got close to having a relationship a few times but haven't quite got there yet. From all the reading I've done (lots) and people I have talked to I think most of my problem with relationships can be summed up as. Fear of the unknown = lack of self-confidence and lack of self-confidence = fear of the unknown. Any advice would be great. Do you think paying for sex would take out one element of the unknown? Sex work is legal here in Aus (very expensive but that's okay). I'm 6'4" and 110 pounds, my health isn't good enough to do the gym thing. I also think my social anxiety is a symptom of my lack of self-confidence with people. I do have more friends now then ever before, both men and women. I also have this (most likely irrational) fear of getting to my best before date as far as first relationships go. I have been to two therapists, but they didn't help much. One talked to me like I was five and I had a lot of trouble opening up to the other. Fear is horrible stuff even when you know all about it. :| Being socially isolated due to bad health has taken it's toll. I didn't mean for this to be so long. EDIT: I'm 5'4" woops --- [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/70tvxi/update_should_i_pay_for_sex_to_get_over_the_fear/) After being on the waiting list since January I started seeing a good therapist last month. So after talking about it will all my friends and they all said I should, I talked about it with the therapist and she also said I should go ahead with it, somethings are too big to just not think about. I had already found an independent escort I liked her profile and photo's, they weren't over sexualised. I sent her a text. In the two weeks I had to wait the changes I noticed were much bigger then I ever imagined they would be. I became more relaxed, lots of mussel tension that was always there went away. My libido started up again, the first time really since I was like 15. Now I know what it means when I read "Chanel the sexual energy into hobbies and other parts of life" I didn't have any sexual energy, it was all repressed and smothered by shame. We meet on the weekend. She was everything I had hoped for, kind, caring, compassionate, gentle. We had four hours together and everything went slowly, it wasn't rushed, no judgement or pressure, it was a great introduction to being intimate. The day after (yesterday) I started out fine then went to send a text to a friend about how it went so well and an emotional cork let go. I ended up crying on and off for four hours in the end. I'm not sure why even, my best guess is grieving for all the years I have had without anybody truly touching me. I'm booked in to talk to my therapist tomorrow so that will be good to unpack the emotional side of the week and weekend. I will go and see the same escort again in a few months. I still have a long way to get as far as my feelings of self-worth goes. My self-confidence has been improving and the weekend saw a big step up. 39 years of damage takes time to get over. I now feel like I'm on the road to the rest of my life, hopefully a life with a lot more touching and intimacy then the first 40 years. Naked hugs are the best. :) Thank you everyone for your input, I read and thought a lot about every comment left.

'Should I pay for sex?'

AskMenOver30

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f7e30u/should_i_pay_for_sex/

f7erk0

[Link to Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/dml5sd/i_31f_am_struggling_to_rebuild_my_selfworth_after/) *minor edits Hi guys. I know it’s probably hard to believe given how nauseatingly pathetic I sound right now but before this happened, I really felt like a confident and content human being. Almost all of my current friends are mutual friends with my ex-fiancé so I don’t want to embroil them in this drama or compel anyone to “choose sides” or feel uncomfortable. So I guess I’m trying to turn to this community for solace and guidance because I’ve read a great deal of mature and grounded advice here. I hope this sounds somewhat coherent as I’ve currently locked myself in a conference room and shut the blinds so no one can see me cry as I type this. I was with my ex-fiancé for 7 years. He is the only romantic partner I’ve ever truly loved. I was completely, head-over-heels in love with him. Even now, after all this, I still feel that way about him. He is charming, goofy, kind, quick-witted, interesting, ambitious, and gorgeous. We got engaged 2 years ago but were not in a rush to get married. About a year ago, we began to seriously contemplate trying for a baby. We had lived together happily for 6 years, we had done all the travelling and partying we wanted to in our twenties, and we were excited to start our family. Over the next 6 months, he was much busier than normal but I didn’t think anything was wrong. I did my best to alleviate any extra stress he had (though I was experiencing some extra pressure at work too) by taking over all the housework and errands, helping him organize and pack for trips, and just being understanding when he would work very late or need to leave for a week or two. We didn’t spend as much time together during that period and I missed him a lot but I thought we were still happy. When the 6 months were over, our schedules reverted back to normal. I felt relieved until I started to notice him becoming more distant despite that fact that we finally had more time together. He started going on his phone more frequently when we were together and seemed to be more protective of his phone. I’m not generally a jealous person and I trusted him completely so I didn’t think much of it. Then one day, after another month had passed, I brought up the topic of trying for a baby as we’d discussed. I could immediately tell something was wrong. He was quiet for a while and then he unleashed a flood. He said he was unhappy with our relationship and had been for some time. He said that he cared about me deeply but that the “spark” in our relationship had died and that he tried to convince himself he could live without that spark but had ultimately decided that he couldn’t. He said I had done nothing wrong and in fact was “the perfect partner” but that didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t shake this nagging feeling that I wasn’t “the one” for him. He said that he didn’t want to hurt me but that he couldn’t condemn himself to a lifetime of “settling” for someone that wasn’t his “dream girl” even though he didn’t know if his dream girl existed. He said he was sorry but he couldn’t live a lie anymore. I don’t think I said a single word as he was telling me all this because I just felt so utterly shocked and blindsided. I just stood there, staring and listening, and crying silently. When he finished, all I could utter was something like, “Ok…I’m sorry…I didn’t know…do you still love me?” He paused for a while and then said that he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. We proceeded to spend the whole night discussing his feelings and our relationship, until we were both so exhausted we couldn’t cry anymore and the sun was coming up. He said he was sorry again, and it was probably best if he stayed at a friend’s place, so he packed up some stuff and left. That was about 5 months ago. We never really talked in person again. His brother and his best friend came over that weekend to get the rest of his stuff and I just left while they were packing because I couldn’t stand to be there. I felt so shocked and numb and traumatized and tired that I didn’t even cry much. I couldn’t really process what was happening as I went through the motions of moving out and explaining the situation to my family. When I finally moved into my new place and sat alone with my boxes, I completely broke down. I could not stop crying and dry heaving. I ended up using 5 vacation days to take off a week of work, which really irked my manager. I could not get out of bed. I barely ate, living off this old tub of peanut butter. I looked through all our old pictures and tried to figure out where it all went wrong. Then for 4 months, I tried my best to move on. . I deleted all my social media apps so I wouldn’t have to see him. I dove into work. I ramped up my hobbies. I exercised to keep my mind occupied. I met with friends and family and pretended everything was ok. I started going to my therapist again, which helped a bit. I finally thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then a month ago, I ran into a mutual friend from college. She said it was really sad to see we weren’t together anymore, and surprising to see he’d moved on so fast. I told her I wasn’t keeping up with him anymore but that I was doing ok. When I got home, even though I knew it was a terrible idea, I re-downloaded Instagram and went to his profile. His latest picture was him at his cousin's wedding with his arm around a gorgeous girl. All the old pictures of him and I were gone from his profile. Again, I knew it was a terrible, self-destructive idea. But I went to the girl’s profile and googled her. She is literally a younger, smarter, prettier, and better version of myself. We both studied at the same university but she completed a prestigious program which I was rejected from. We both have green eyes and brown hair but she is far prettier and legitimately looks like a model. We are both thin and fit but she has an amazing hourglass figure and looks far more stylish than me and has tens of thousands of followers even though she’s not an “influencer” or whatnot. In fact, we both work at the same company (I’m pretty sure my ex met her through work) but she landed a job in a prestigious division right out of undergrad and likely makes more money than me. She is an improved version of me, 7 years younger. And the love of my life is dating her. For the past month, I’ve been spiraling. I can’t stop stalking my ex-fiancé and this girl. I look at her Instagram every day and torture myself with her gorgeous pictures. She’s posted a dozen pictures with my ex over the past few months and he looks so happy, healthy, and fit. They’ve gone on trips together, he’s brought her to his hometown, and he’s even posted a picture of them with a mushy caption which he never did when we were together. I have no evidence and I don't think my ex would do this but I now suspect he was at least interested in her while we were still together (she started at the company about a year ago). I'm so paranoid of running into them. I can recognize that my behavior is obsessive and masochistic and I’ve deleted Instagram and told myself I’m not going to do this anymore only to wake up the next day and re-download the app and do it again. My therapist has been trying to help but I just cannot move past this. I'm stuck in this mental loop of self-loathing and self-pity, this crazy mix of extreme sadness and latent anger. I feel so incredibly low. Worthless, used up, discarded, and suddenly, so incredibly old. I know that comparison is the thief of joy. I know that I am objectively still young enough to move on. I know that social media is a highlight reel and their relationship may not be perfect. I know that this girl has done nothing wrong to me. I know that my ex deserves to find his dream girl. But none of this knowledge helps soften the fact that I thought that by this time this year, I would be pregnant with the love of my life and instead, I’m alone and he’s found someone better. Please, if you’ve ever experienced something similar, share your words of wisdom. Or commiserate with me. I don’t know. I just feel so worthless and alone. --- [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/esujck/update_i_31f_am_struggling_to_rebuild_my/) Hi again, guys. It’s been about 3 months since I posted about my struggle to move past my 7-year relationship with my ex-fiancé. While I cringe when I think about the pathetic state I was in when I wrote that post, sobbing alone in that conference room, I was stunned by the empathetic, mature, and helpful advice I received from members of this subreddit. These past few months have been an absolute rollercoaster and I thought I owed this subreddit an update given how much solace and guidance you guys gave me during some of my darkest days. I don’t think things would have worked out nearly as well if I had continued to bottle up those festering emotions and isolate myself so I’m grateful for every single person who commented and messaged me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So, here’s what happened: The night I made that post, I finally blocked my ex-fiancé and his girlfriend on Instagram as many of you suggested. I think actually verbalizing how obsessive and masochistic my behavior was (instead of keeping it all inside) and finally feeling validated in my emotional reactions after reading your sympathetic comments (instead of feeling alone and crazy) clicked something in my brain. I resolved to break out of that self-destructive loop—to stop torturing myself with their “perfect” pictures and reclaim a modicum of self-respect. It was an incredible relief to not be constantly following the impulse to view their new pictures and give myself some time to heal instead of picking at that scab every single day. That weekend, I decided to reconnect with my family and friends and stop pretending that I was handling the breakup flawlessly. They were incredibly compassionate—though also shocked that I had been hiding my dark feelings so well—and it was like I’d instantly rebuilt my support network. I didn’t realize how emotionally isolated I had become until I was able to be honest and open with people in my life. I did continue to avoid talking to friends who were mutual friends with my ex because I didn’t want to put anyone in an awkward position, but I was able to reconnect with a few of my other friends and I took the initiative to finally make some fun plans. Getting out of the house to enjoy brunches, hikes, and shows with my friends over the past few months has been incredibly beneficial for my mental health—just being in new environments and focusing on people other than my ex was therapeutic, even for someone who tends towards introversion like myself. Per your suggestions, I also decided to try out another therapist. I did find my original therapist somewhat helpful, but I also felt like he was not able to relate to some of the nuances in my issues given that he was in his late 50s so we had a bit of a generational gap. My new therapist is incredibly compatible with me, and instantly understood the intricacies of my problems. She has helped considerably with addressing the roots of my insecurities and was able to validate and analyze my feelings in a much more intimate way. If you are struggling to find therapy useful, I highly recommend shopping around a bit for a more compatible therapist; therapy is certainly not one-size-fits-all. ​ Another popular suggestion from you guys was finding a job at another company, away from my ex-fiancé and his girlfriend. I didn’t think that would be possible since the job market in my field is not great at the moment, but I began actively searching for other positions. I brushed up my resume, filled out a couple applications, and even surprisingly secured an interview. Then out of the blue, someone above me in my division quit to join a competitor. The senior managers were quite eager to fill his role quickly so they decided to go with an internal hire. And after 5 or 6 rounds of interviews (god, I absolutely dread interviews), I got the job! I’m so grateful for this promotion—not only is the salary substantially better, but the hours are actually more consistent as well. It’s crazy, I feel like the momentum of my life has shifted so quickly. And I finally have an office! It's tiny but I really enjoy it. The only downside was this promotion also meant I would have to continue working in the same building (albeit a very large building) as my ex. And as I left work before Christmas, the moment I’d been dreading came—I ran into my ex as I was leaving the office. We exchanged a few pleasantries and he complimented my new haircut. I thanked him, wished him well, and said I had to hurry to catch the next train. I wish I could say I felt cool and collected but I was so nervous to see him again for the first time in like 6 months that I was almost shaking. On the commute home, I calmed down and actually thought, hey, that wasn’t so bad! He looked good but I didn’t feel a rush of sadness or desire or anything. I mostly just felt awkward, like we’d become strangers again. I didn’t feel that familiar impulse to stalk his Instagram and actually felt happy to see he was doing ok since I’d cared for him for so many years. I felt like at last, I was really moving forward. The next day, I woke up to a dozen messages from my ex-fiancé. They started at around 2am and were slightly incoherent in parts so I’m guessing he was a bit drunk when he sent them. They were all long walls of text, which surprised me because he’s not typically big on verbalizing his emotions. He wrote that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about me since we ran into each other outside the office, that he was sad that we weren’t friends anymore because I still felt like his best friend, and that he regretted how everything went down. He said he questioned if he’d “made a huge mistake in a moment of weakness” and “fucked his whole life up” and that he “couldn’t help but regret it all” when he saw me. He apparently noticed that I’d blocked him on Instagram (which I found funny given how intensely I had been stalking his Instagram) and said that made him really sad. I gathered from his messages that he’d likely broken up with the woman I’d seen on his Instagram because he said that he felt like he had been “searching for some ideal woman who doesn’t exist” and that he wanted to “reignite our spark” after failing to find that same “spark” with other people. I’m not going to lie; it was shocking to read his texts and I was trembling and struggling to process a lot of it at first. Part of me wanted impulsively to give him another chance, but after taking a day to mull over his words, I ended up feeling like he was less sorry that he’d lost our relationship and more sorry that the “greener pastures” he sought weren’t quite as green as he’d imagined. I tried to respond kindly but firmly, saying that I really treasured and appreciated our relationship but that I felt like I could no longer trust him to the same degree I once did, and that I felt like it would be confusing and painful for us to become friends in the near future. I told him how hurt I felt when he blindsided me after promising that nothing was wrong, and how I struggled for a long time to figure out what was missing in our relationship but ultimately felt that as long as he thought the “missing” part was so crucial that he wanted to leave after all those years together, then we probably aren’t meant to be together. I wished him the best. He didn’t respond to my messages. ​ I was a bit shaken by the whole thing, but I proceeded to enjoy my holiday break with my family and even elected to go to my friend’s New Year’s Eve party which I was considering skipping. Well, I’m super glad I didn’t skip the party because I ended up meeting a wonderful man there! He’s funny, intelligent, cute, interesting, compassionate, and is eager to settle down and have kids after also somewhat-recently exiting a long-term relationship. We’ve gone on 3 dates so far, and at the risk of sounding too enthusiastic, they’ve been the best dates of my life. We want to take it slow since we were both in long-term relationships a year ago, but we’ve been stunned by how compatible our personalities and interests and goals are and frankly, we’re also both quite keen to start a family as soon as possible. So while I’m trying not to be overly confident in this relationship, I’m also super excited to see where it goes! In conclusion, thanks in large part to the advice I received 3 months ago in this subreddit, I’ve emerged from a very dark place and am now cautiously optimistic about my future for the first time in a long time.

I am struggling to rebuild my self-worth after my ex-fiancé left me for a woman who seems to be a younger, smarter, prettier, and better version of myself.

AskWomenOver30

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f7erk0/i_am_struggling_to_rebuild_my_selfworth_after_my/

f7eubb

I am struggling to rebuild my self-worth after my ex-fiancé left me for a woman who seems to be a younger, smarter, prettier, and better version of myself.

Kinglens311

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f7eubb/i_am_struggling_to_rebuild_my_selfworth_after_my/

f7vfc8

[Link to original - My (24M) fiancée (22F) wants me to get circumcised before our wedding. I refuse and it’s causing huge arguments. Am I being manipulated?](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/f29606/my_24m_fianc%C3%A9e_22f_wants_me_to_get_circumcised/) We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hotheaded. For example she gets upset when things don’t go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It’s definitely a “princess” syndrome that can be difficult to deal with but it never caused serious issues. A couple of months ago she told me that I will get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said no and she straight up told me that “it’s not a choice”. We argued for a bit and she said that I wouldn’t be attracted to her if she had an “outie” vagina with “extra skin” hanging (her words, not mine). I told her that it’s not really the same thing at all and that I’d be attracted to her regardless. However she got very irritated ignored me for the rest of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Everyday she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision, that it’s totally healthy/safe and why I should do it. She says that “civilized” men get circumcised and that “we’re not like those Europeans”. The thing is, she’s mixed race (half French) and grew up in France so I don’t understand her thought process here. Her ex was French but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be “better” than that. According to her, that includes getting a circumcision. Yesterday she brought it up again and I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time/effort into her appearance and isn’t asking for much in return. While it’s true she spends a lot of money on beauty/hair/facial treatments (around $800 a month) I don’t think you can compare that to a circumcision. She got very upset, calling me “selfish” and “heartless” and basically told me to fuck off. Normally when we argue she doesn’t get that heated but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening we had sex (yes...I’m stupid) and in the middle of it, she brought up the topic again. It felt very manipulative and when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying. Since she rarely cries this didn’t seem genuine. She got up and told me that “we” will get this done either way and that I shouldn’t let such a small issue ruin what we have. To be honest, that sounded ominous and I don’t even know what to think of it. Is this something we can work out at all? Throughout our entire relationship she never complained about my uncircumcised penis and now it’s such a big deal to her. It’s giving me anxiety about our future and I don’t even know what to do. We’ve had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way. TL; DR My fiancée wants me to get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said I won’t but she keeps bringing it up and trying to make me feel guilty. Is there any way we can solve this problem? --- [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/f5yjwo/update_my_24m_fianc%C3%A9e_22f_wants_me_to_get/) I don’t know where to start but I’d like to thank everyone on here first. I have received countless PMs, all pretty much saying the same thing. Yet I still wanted to work out things and marry her. Then a few days after my post we had a huge fight. She threatened me. I won’t give too many details but it was more than enough to give me a wake up call. And that’s when I finally realized that this relationship isn’t healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before but her action that day confirmed it. Right now I’m in the process of completely removing her from my life. That incident had a significant impact on my mental health and at this point I just need a long break. I have spoken to her parents in private and they’re almost begging me to rethink the whole situation. I won’t. I still love her but couldn’t do this anymore. It’s a shock to the system - I went from planning my future with her to now actively cutting off everything that connects us.

My fiancée wants me to get circumcised before our wedding.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f7vfc8/my_fiancée_wants_me_to_get_circumcised_before_our/

f8c0wv

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/e256h2/fl_hospital_security_guard_tried_to_deny_me/) Background: I am a 20-something female. My older sister is a physician at a hospital. She is hosting thanksgiving at her home this year, so my other siblings and I have flown in to stay with her. I had just gotten my older brother from the airport and we went to the hospital to pick up our sister after her shift. When we got to the hospital, there is a small security guard podium where the security guard hands out visitor’s stickers. My brother and I went up to get our stickers and when the guard handed mine to me, he said “Why aren’t you smiling?” I was exhausted because it had been a long day and I told him that I was tired and just wanted to get my sister so that we could all go home and relax. He kind of smirked/scoffed and then my brother and I walked away. We were all the way across the lobby when the security guard called after my brother with “Sir! Sir! You need to come back here.” We both turned around and started walking back towards the guard, but he stopped me and told me to stay where I was. So I did. My brother went up to him and the guard told him that if I didn’t smile the next time he saw me and if I wasn’t in a better mood, then he had the right to deny me access into the hospital. To note, I was in no way rude to anyone, just tired and not very talkative (my brother’s flight was delayed 3 hrs and I’d just spent most of the afternoon sitting in baggage claim.) My brother asked why the guard was talking to him and not to me and the guard’s response was “Because you need to control her. You need to make certain that she behaves herself.” At that point, my brother walked away and didn’t want to engage any further. We got my sister a few minutes later and went home. One of my friends told me that the guard exercised “tone policing” along with a great display of misogyny. But aside from that, can a security guard reasonably deny me access because he doesn’t like that I’m not cheerfully smiling? I would think that access can only be denied for legitimate threats, not a 20-something woman who is tired and not smiling. What is the legal basis here? TLDR: Security guard threatened to deny me access to hospital because I wasn’t smiling. Is this legal? ... op's comment: as the security guard was lecturing my brother, a group of older women came in. They already had visitor’s stickers on, but the security guard forcefully told them to stop and wait for him to “inspect the stickers to make certain they’re legitimate.” One of the women said that they were in a hurry to visit a relative in critical condition, but the security guard said that he didn’t care and that they’d have to wait until he was finished talking to my brother. Then one of the women started visibly crying. It was gut wrenching. (I didn’t include this part in the post because it didn’t specifically pertain to me and my situation.) --- [UPDATE](https://old.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/e2kuax/update_fl_security_guard_tried_to_deny_access_for/) First of all, thank you so much to everyone who responding to my first post and gave me the courage to approach HR!! Update: my sister (hospital physician) actually spoke to HR first. She went to them this morning (she was off yesterday) and then spoke to the head of the security team. I was asked to come into the hospital this morning to meet with hospital administration. My brother went in with me and corroborated my story. HR was appalled! They said that they’d heard rumors about this specific security guard but no one had ever escalated their complaints to administration. They brought in two more security guards who have worked with him to verify some of the rumors they’ve heard (apparently the guard in question has been caught lingering in front of the women’s restrooms on his breaks, and he denied a doctor’s wife entrance because she didn’t know the room number for the cafeteria where she was meeting her husband for lunch.) The final thing HR said to me was, “Today will be the last day you will see him. We do not support this type of behavior at our institution and he will not continue with us.” At the end, the HR director told me that it is SO IMPORTANT to report inappropriate behavior. She said that so many times people will gossip amongst themselves about situations but no one will actually take it up with administration, which subsequently makes HR’s job more difficult to complete because then they don’t know about happenings within the organization. Again, thank you thank you thank you!!

Hospital Security Guard Tried to Deny Me Access Because I Didn’t Smile

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f8c0wv/hospital_security_guard_tried_to_deny_me_access/

f8ev4g

[deleted]

Crazy vandal destroying cars by jumping on them

r/Portland

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f8ev4g/crazy_vandal_destroying_cars_by_jumping_on_them/

f8i5ir

[Link to Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/teslamotors/comments/cl17ge/caught_on_camera_brand_new_tesla_owner_catches/) *minor edits A person kicked in the windshields of three cars in my neighborhood. My car caught my windshield being kicked in on video and it was on the news. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1KEJMMJvwU I have video of the car belonging to the people who did it. I originally thought the guy was on foot but the saved video from one minute before what was shown in the story has a silver 1994-1998 Mustang GT rolling by with the window down and that guy staring at my car. Unfortunately I can’t read the plates but I’m hoping someone can identify the car. Front passenger Corner is damaged, possibly aftermarket taillights. **2nd victim:** I know your pain. I was running a little late to work and walked out and found that shit. Hopefully dude will get caught. I got my windshield replaced for $160, after a $415 quote from safelite --- [7 weeks later](https://www.reddit.com/r/TeslaLounge/comments/d9czpq/windshield_no_longer_kicked_in_im_the_guy_who_had/) Windshield no longer kicked in! I’m the guy who had his windshield kicked in 7 weeks ago in Portland. Windshield fixed, glass cleaned up, dents in hood removed, scuffs in fender polished out and ceramic coated. Looking good once again. I have an IG photo of him and his crew with the car they used. Seems simple to go to their high school, find out the other kid’s s names and pressure them in to turning on each other. Maybe if it was in a smaller town. Doesn’t seem like the police really do that kind of work here. I also have video of them smashing out the front window of a house where the people are home but that was also not investigated. ... Police know who it is and are looking for the person. The person is a minor. --- [6 months later](https://www.reddit.com/r/TeslaLounge/comments/f827gz/update_he_plead_guilty_received_one_year/) Update: he plead guilty and received one year probation and has to pay $3200 in restitution. The person who did it was a 15-year old runaway. After this story aired on the news two people ratted him out to me via Facebook. He bragged about it on Snapchat and posted incriminating evidence on Instagram as well. It took about 6 months to make it to court. Fingers crossed that I ever see any of the restitution money.

Brand new Tesla owner catches stranger smashing windshield in Portland

TeslaLounge

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f8i5ir/brand_new_tesla_owner_catches_stranger_smashing/

f8vdbk

[deleted]

HOA tries to impose Coronavirus quarantine on Asian American woman

LegalAdvice

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f8vdbk/hoa_tries_to_impose_coronavirus_quarantine_on/

f8vnqx

[removed]

Seattle HOA declares medical quarantine for the Corona virus after a visit to China

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f8vnqx/seattle_hoa_declares_medical_quarantine_for_the/

f935rm

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/Crushes/comments/f6lda7/going_to_my_crushes_house_tomorrow_im_so_nervous/) Going to my crushes' house tomorrow! A few of my friends have said it sounds like she likes me too, which is why i'm extra nervous. BUT IM GOING TO HER HOUSE TOMORROW!!! I'm also having dinner with her family....wish me luck! (We're gonna be reading a manga we bought together, she's gonna show me a game she really likes and i'm gonna bring a jump scare game she wanted to play together.) --- [The Next Day](https://www.reddit.com/r/Crushes/comments/f71ro7/update_went_to_my_crushes_house/) So, I went to my crushes today & had dinner with her family. We played one of her favourite games for a while which was really fun! I really enjoyed it, then we played a horror game I had bought with me because she wanted to play it together. She ended up cuddled into my side because it scared her so much and it was SUPER CUTE. (I have no doubt in my mind she planned this bit honestly, she's crafty lol.) We then just sorta ended up cuddling for a while which oddly felt really natural? Idk but it was super nice, and weirdly I didn't freak out. (I'm really shy.) We then read a couple of chapters of the manga I bought when we were last out together. (Parasyte if anyone's curious.) she then just straight up put her head on my chest and almost fell asleep on me, which was the CUTEST thing in the world. While reading the manga I ended up accidentally putting my hand on hers, but I decided to just keep it there and ended up holding hands. (We ended up holding hands quite a few times after that.) Then we had dinner with her family, and they're super nice! I got along with her older brother quite well because he's into a lot of the things I'm into, so I was able to make conversation. Then skipping to when she dropped me off, she seemed really nervous and giddy. We were flirting sorta, and I had my arms around her and she REALLY quietly whispered. " I like you." MY HEART JUMPED. I SCREAMED. I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FREAK OUT BUT I DIDN'T. BUT. I Was able to keep my composure. So I quietly whispered "What's that?" and she got so embarrassed and was like "NOTHING!". And she got really shy so I just said "come here." and pulled her against my chest. We stayed like that for a while. Then I had to go, and SHE KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK, WHICH CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. So I quickly kissed her back on the cheek and said goodbye. I'm planning on meeting her friends next week, and I know its most likely to see if they like me or not. (let's hope they do.) I plan to make an update post on how that goes. TL;DR: Went to crushes house. Cuddled, held hands & flirted. Meeting her friends next week. EDIT: Wow I didn't expect this to kinda blow up. Thank you guys for all the responses! I'll keep you guys posted, expect an update on Wednesday, that's when I'm seeing her next. (I'll also be meeting her friends.)

UPDATE: went to my crushes' house

r/Crushes

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f935rm/update_went_to_my_crushes_house/

f9dx7d

[Link to Original](https://old.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/cfwezj/sisters_exboyfriend_keeps_playing_ding_dong_ditch/) I'll spare the details of the breakup, but essentially my sister's ex has been bothering us for about half a year now. We're in CA. Relevant events since the start of 2019 include: 1. Filing a restraining order and being granted a temporary restraining (about 3 months ago) 1. Ex being arrested for violating the temporary restraining order and being jailed for a day. 1. Getting the permanent restraining order 1. Being arrested for violating the permanent restraining order for a month and being released on probation. Probation conditions explicitly state he is to not contact my sister or be within her vicinity. 1. Despite being on probation, he's playing ding dong ditch at random times during the late night for the past week. We have video evidence of him being here through our Ring doorbell. We've called the cops multiple times and they take a while to get here and by that time they can't find him (or they don't try too hard). Her ex is homeless, living in his car (probably), and disowned by his parents so we don't really have a clue where he is during the day. It was easier to get him arrested the first couple times because he actually stuck around for someone to open the door, but now he's given up on that completely and he does not seem in his right mind anymore. Last time I spoke with him, he claimed to be hearing voices and we've heard him talking to himself a couple times on the Ring videos. He's not doing anything violent, but you never know, he could snap and do something crazy one day. My sister spoke to his probation officer and told her the situation. He's currently scheduled to appear to court next month to address his probation violation. I'm not sure if there's anything else we can do about this situation other than keep calling the cops and hope he attends his hearing next month. Anything else that could possibly help us? EDIT: Changed mentions of parole to probation because I'm stupid and thought the two terms were interchangeable. --- [Update on my sister's crazy ex playing ding dong ditch](https://np.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/cj80pq/update_on_my_sisters_crazy_ex_playing_ding_dong/) *minor edits This literally happened a couple hours ago so emotions might be running high. I posted about a week or so ago that my sister's ex was ringing our doorbell and bothering us despite her having a restraining order. The cops have not been able to arrest him. He sporadically came to our house but not with any regularity. But he came this night and well, he finally went off the deep end. Order of events in numbered format: 1. Threw a hammer through the master bedroom window on the second floor. Didn't know it was a hammer until after the cops left. 1. Called the cops to come ASAP. 1. Proceeded to bang on our door and yell like a maniac, demanding I or my sister open the door. This lasted a good 10 minutes or so. We have video evidence of him at our front door via our Ring doorbell. 1. Took his car and rammed it into our patio fence and then into our garage door. Patio fence is still holding up but it's clear someone ran into it. The garage door was torn off. We don't have video footage of this since the Ring doorbell is on the other side of the house. 1. Once the garage door was torn off, he entered the garage and proceeded to bang on the door in the garage that would lead into the house. 1. Eventually leaves and the cops show up. We spend some time talking to the cops when the ex rolls up into the driveway. Immediately starts booking it when he sees the cop car. 1. The cops pursue but according to "policy" once the suspect starts running red lights and disobeying traffic rules they can't pursue farther because if the suspect were to crash into someone due to being chased by police, the police would be held liable. Which I understand the logic behind but it's very frustrating. 1. And I think that's about the gist of it. Very unfortunate timing this happened today because the police force was extremely spread thin in the Bay Area today because of the shooting in Gilroy so they took quite a while to appear. The consensus among us is that even if we get him arrested, he might just be insane enough to come back when he's eventually arrested. When he is arrested, we are planning on using that time to buy time for us to sell the house and move. However, if we do move and he does proceed to damage the house when the new owners move in, would we be in any legal trouble? Is there anything I could do that might help out in this situation? --- [A month later](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/cpq0n9/update_sisters_crazy_ex_played_ding_dong_ditch/) Hello everyone. Yeah, I'm still alive. A happier update this time around. So two days after the incident I go to work, but my sister was at home and saw her ex parked near our house, smoking weed and probably high out of his mind. So she calls the cops and they amazingly do not take hours to show up. The cops and the ex go back and forth for a while before the idiot starts trying to drive away, but he's stopped soon enough and he's arrested. On the legal side of things, he got his probation revoked (not sure how that benefits us but eh) and was ordered to be held in custody with no bail. My sister and I actually had to go to court today for his preliminary examination but we ended up not being needed. Apparently the defense is calling for a medical evaluation because they are questioning the competency of the defendant to stand trial. The DA for the case told us the evaluation will last up to 3 months (Not sure if I heard this right. Seems a bit long but what do I know). If he's deemed competent, the court proceedings will proceed. If not, then they'll transfer him to a hospital to try to rehabilitate him and if successful, then they'll continue the court proceedings. So from my understanding, my sister and I are just waiting for the evaluation to be finished and then we will go from there. In the meantime, he's still in custody with no way out. Now we are thinking of relocating, which is a whole other can of worms, but at least we bought some time. Many thanks for the people who gave out advice in the earlier posts! I hope my family is through the worst of this situation. Once things are all said and done, at least I walk away from this with a much better understanding of the justice system.

Sister's ex-boyfriend keeps playing ding dong ditch despite us having a Ring doorbell and restraining order.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f9dx7d/sisters_exboyfriend_keeps_playing_ding_dong_ditch/

f9x2mh

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/b3rfty/wa_my_father_and_step_mother_died_leaving_me_19m/) *minor edits Hi, so my life is falling apart. As the title says, a few weeks ago my father and my step mother were killed in a car accident. They have been married for 7 years, and my step mother had a daughter from a previous marriage who is 8 years old. I love her unconditionally as if she were my own sister and I would fight tooth and nail to keep her safe. She has no immediate family other than her father in the area, so he is going to receive full custody of her. I don't know if subjective opinions are allowed in posts like this, but this guy is a fucking asshole. The reason my step mother left him is because he was abusive (which was never reported to the police, but I know several people who have witnessed it first hand, so it absolutely 100% happened), and the reason he was abusive was because my step sister was born and he didn't want a child. As a result, he has never given a shit about her, never asked to see her, and has never wanted anything to do with her until now. I was at home with my step sister a few days ago and he knocked on the door. I opened it and we had a really ugly conversation about what was going to happen to my step sister now that her mother and my father were dead. I told him that if he did end up having custody I would want to be seeing her as often as possible as I consider her my family. He told me, verbatim "that's not gonna happen, son. I don't want my daughter spending time with half caste blood." (he's referring to the fact that my father is mixed race, and that I am too as a result. I slammed the door. I was absolutely livid, which brings me to this post. Can anything be done to stop him having custody? There are no police reports about his abuse, and his criminal record is clean by all the research I have completed. Is there anyway I can straight up adopt my step sister? I have an office job that pays well, so financial security wouldn't be a problem, I have an apartment of my own, and I would be 100% willing to be her full time guardian. EDIT: I want to make it absolutely clear that my sister does not want to live with her dad, and she says she wants to live with me. Thank you so so so much to anyone who responds to this. I'm at my wits end and I will do literally anything to keep my step sister close to me, and I don't care about the cost. --- [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/beuf9y/update_my_father_and_step_mother_died_leaving_me/) So after one of the most stressful months of my life, I can happily tell you all that I got custody of my step sister. I did as many of you suggested and got a family lawyer who was one of the most kind and helpful people I've ever met in my life. I told her the circumstances of my step mom and dad's death through tears and sobbing, and then told me she'd do everything she possibly could to help me. After my step sisters bio dad was informed that I would be trying to get full custody, he basically folded within hours. The lawyer told me that it wouldn't have mattered anyway though. She said that because he hadn't visited her for such an extended period of time that it was considered "abandonment" in the eyes of the law, and the likelihood of him specifically getting custody was unlikely because of this. After her bio dad said he didn't want my step sister, I then spent weeks and weeks filing out the right papers and seeing the right people. I've never signed so many things in my entire life. Because my step sister had no biological family other than her shit-head dad, I was given custody on a silver platter, according to my lawyer. Her bio dad didn't ask for visitation rights, and it appears he didn't even care in the first place, he just wanted my step sister for no reason other than to further upset me. Yesterday, I signed the last piece of paper that confirmed that I had 100% custody of my step sister. After I signed, we both cried and cried for hours. We're both working on processing the death of her mom and my dad. As I write this, she's asleep next to me with her head on my shoulder. The past two months have hands down been the worst of my entire life. I consider meeting my step sister the best that's ever happened to me, and adopting her is the single best decision I've ever made. These events have made me realise that family isn't just DNA based, it's actionable investments in the life of someone you love. Thank you so, so, so much for all of the people who helped me in my first thread. I owe all of you for the rest of your lives. Once I turn 21, if any of ya'll are in the Aberdeen area, drinks are on me. I hope you all lead wonderful lives. Give your loved ones a big hug for me.

My father and step mother died, leaving me (19m) and my step sister (8f). My step sisters father, who has previously never cared about her, is getting full custody and has told me he won't allow me to visit.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/f9x2mh/my_father_and_step_mother_died_leaving_me_19m_and/

fa4uk8

[Link to Original - My wife is an alcoholic. Anyone else with the same issue?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/azg2wj/my_wife_is_an_alcoholic_anyone_else_with_the_same/) During the last 12-18 months my wife has developed a really unhealthy relationship with alcohhol. Every time she drank she became very drunk really fast. There are some medical reasons for her not being able to handle alcohol but it became increasingly worse. During these periods she had, as many, a real change in personality, being angry and confrotative towards me. 12 days ago during the morning I gave her an ultimatum, go to this open AA-meeting within an hour, I will be there and if you think this is something to fight for, I hope you will be there. She showed up. It realy feels like it was an eye-opener to her. She has confessed some lies regarding drinking i secret when I was away on businesstrips and stuff like that. During these 12 days she has been to 20 AA-meetings and I have been to one AlAnon-meeting. It's still early but for the forst time in over one year I feel hope........ Thanks for reading   [3 weeks later](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/b8jxa3/update_to_my_wife_is_an_alcoholic_anyone_else/) In short, everything is going great, she in now on day 35 and this sunday she got her 1 month medallion. We have also managed to celebrate my 50th birthday without alcohol, we went away to a rented house in the southern part of the country with an open fireplace and everything. Every evening we drove to the nearby town that had a local AA-group and I believe she has done around 40 meetings in these 35 days. The first goal is 90 meetings in 90 days. She has also started her new job and she loves it. She is working many hours but I guess alcoholics aren't really known for doing things i moderation. I feel really hopeful. Thanks everybody for the feedback. Let me know if I can be of any help to someone else in the same situation.Peace out :-)   [1 Year Later](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/f9e5s1/my_wife_will_reach_365_days_sober_in_five_hours/) in /r/stopdrinking I am smiling writing this because in 5 hours when we probably have went to sleep the daycount will be 365... I can't believe it has been one year since everything reached a point that easily could have ended in disaster.... I want to take the time to thank all the good hearted people on Reddit for somfort and feedback I also really want to recommend everyone with this disease to contact your local AA-group. They do amazing work.... I'm now looking forward to next year.... *Thanks for all the feedback and love. She went to a meeting today so now she has the medal for 1 day, 1 month and 1 year :-) https://i.imgur.com/x69esoD.jpg

[Update] My wife is an alcoholic

AskMenOver30

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fa4uk8/update_my_wife_is_an_alcoholic/

faevmu

[Original - My(F22) boyfriend(M25) proposed during his sister's wedding and I accepted but I don't know if I want to marry him.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/euwtcn/myf22_boyfriendm25_proposed_during_his_sisters/) My boyfriend and I went to his sister's wedding last Friday. They have always had a strained relationship. It was a great wedding and both of them seemed to get along. We had been at the party for about 2 hours when he goes up to the dj and asks for the microphone. I thought that he was going to toast for his sister... But no. He asks me to come up to him. I was terrified. I remember thinking to myself "he is not doing that! No!" I also remember looking at his sister and she looking at me and we both had the same look on our faces but she was more mad. He then proceeds to propose to me.... At his sister's wedding! People where cheering arround us and his sister just looked like she wanted to cry. I was just frozen. And I didn't know what else to do than to say yes. I was crying. But not happy crying. People were super extatic. After that I went up to his sister and was apologizing over and over. She was mad. Like MAD. I felt so sorry for her. I left early and my boyfriend came at like 2 am hammer to our hotel room. I was mad so I Confronted him. At first he was like "babe... My whole family was there it was the best time" till he finally admitted that he also did it because his sister had ruined his graduation by announcing her wedding. I left the morning after and haven't talked to him since. I don't know what to do. He won't stop calling but I am very mad. I don't even know what to say to him --- [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/f9eykf/update_my_boyfriend_proposed_during_his_sisters/) He was using me to get back at her. Long story short I broke up with him. It was very messy ans he kept pushing me to come back to him. His argument was that he loves me and that showing his sister who's boss was just a nice bonus. We kept fighting until I finally broke things off. He didn't take it too well because in his mind he didn't do anything wrong so he thought that I was taking "his sister's side". I have lost some friends who said that I was just looking for an easy out and so on. In the moment I feel actually pretty devastated because I still love him. I feel like everyone hates me. I know it's such a weak thing to be this affected but I am.

My boyfriend proposed during his sister's wedding and I accepted but I don't know if I want to marry him.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/faevmu/my_boyfriend_proposed_during_his_sisters_wedding/

famywa

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34l7vo/ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/) On the 15th of April I found a yellow post-it note in a handwriting that wasn't mine on my desk reminding me of some errands I had to do, but told literally nobody about. While odd, I chalked it up to something I did in my sleep, thinking maybe in my half-awake state I scrawled it so it didn't appear to be my handwriting. I threw it out and thought little of it. On the 19th, I found another post it note on the back of my desk chair, in the same handwriting as the previous note, telling me to make sure I "saved my documents". I was freaked out, but there were no other signs of a break-in, so I set up a web-cam in my house aimed at my desk and used a security-cam app for it to record after detecting movement. On the 28th, I woke up to find another post-it note, this one saying, "Our landlord isn't letting me talk to you, but it's important we do." I immediately checked the webcam's folder on my computer and found nothing from the night before, but my computer's recycling bin had been emptied, which I am certain I did not do recently, indicating someone had noticed the webcam and deleted the files. (They were just saved straight to a folder on my desktop called "Webcam". Today, on the 1st of May, I found another post it note, this time on the outside of my door, with nothing written on it– and there also appeared to be post-its on many other doors in my apartment complex, all blank, in varying colors. Do I have any legal recourse here? I have no proof except for the post-its, but those are written by my pen and on my post-it notes, so conceivably I could have faked them. Would contacting the police get me into any trouble, if they can't determine an outside source for this? I just want to make sure I'm not wasting anyone's time. EDIT: I pulled up a letter I received from my landlord back when I moved in, and the handwriting is identical. Could this count as evidence?   ---   [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34m92h/update_ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/) Thanks to everyone who sent suggestions and gave advice on how to proceeded– especially to those who recommended a CO detector... because when I plugged one in in the bedroom, it read at 100ppm. TL;DR: I had CO poisoning and thought my landlord was stalking me.   *OP responds to Comments* >Seriously? You had significant, low-level CO poisoning to the point where you are have a memory impairment? You need to see a neurologist as soon as possible. There's a very real possibility that you need neuropsych testing and neuro-cognitive rehab. Hello! I'm writing to you from the hospital. :) Thanks for the concern! Having not slept the night there, I actually feel tremendously better today– but yes, i'm absolutely taking every precaution. >Woah. This is not at all where I was expecting this story to go. So, you wrote yourself a bunch of post-it notes, and forgot them because of CO poisoning? Yes, the notes were real, I did write them, and I forgot! As for their being notes on all the doors– I went so far as to put notes on my neighbor's door, but not much further than that. I was on a corner– above the garage– so I only had one neighbor, who had headaches and not much more. I wrote all sorts of nonsense. With other notes and letters, I tried to compare it to another document, but I got confused. For example, I picked up a typed document, and sure enough, next to that, most handwritten documents look pretty similar! I also "set up" a webcam by placing it on a shelf, downloading a camera app to my phone, and making a folder on my desktop called "WEBCAM" and made an iphoto library in the folder. I freaked out when the folder was empty. UPDATE: I'm currently living with relatives while getting this sorted out. They've already contacted my neighbors, too, though it seems so far the issue was only in my apartment. In-building parking appears to have been the issue. I was directly above the garage.   ---   **10 Months Later** *OP [comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/49zfvb/what_is_the_weirdestcreepiest_unexplained_thing/d0wk4t9/) when his post is mentioned in r/AskReddit*   Good news update: It's been almost a year now. While four months ago, things were rough, I've definitely made significant improvement, and currently there's little reason to doubt a full recovery within a year. As it turns out, brains can heal. While brain cells cannot regenerate, the bulk of my issue seemed to be cerebral edema (brain swelling) caused by the poisoning. While the inflamed tissue can suffocate and destroy brain cells... It doesn't always, and sometimes the damage is temporary. That said, it is my understanding that without a pre-incident scan, it is difficult to tell what is swelling and what isn't in a very detailed or specific way. I'd say now, 10 months later, I'm about 80% back to normal. And while it is likely there is a 1% that won't recover, and some cells were destroyed, not just disrupted, and maybe I'll always have the occasional headache... ...There's no reason to think I won't be at 99-100% better in another six months. So I'm happy. I've been getting a lot of PMs regarding my legal situation, and I've been advised not to discuss it online just yet, as it is still ongoing. I can say that, legally speaking– things are really looking great for me. And in the meantime, I've had a really lovely place to stay, a very understanding boyfriend, and I've even been making art– a field I wanted to get into but never would if not for the incident. I will say, though, I use a moleskine notebook daily planner thing now. (I do keep busy! Important for mental health!) I'm kind of done with post-it notes for a while!

Post-it notes left in apartment

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/famywa/postit_notes_left_in_apartment/

fbfhz8

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/a9ue1k/ne_poisoned_at_family_dinner/) *minor edits I’m currently on vacation visiting family for Christmas. I’m [20 F] a vegan by choice (however I am allergic to red meat.... I was bitten by a “lone star tick” which caused me to develop a severe allergy to meat) My family makes fun of me for being vegan (though I cook for myself for all meals and don’t mention It much at all) Anyway, I guess some of my extended family didn’t know the severity of my allergy because my younger cousin [16 M] chopped up steak (extremely finely I guess) and put It in my butternut squash soup. Shorty after I ate some of my soup I couldn’t breath and was breaking out in hives. I went into anaphylaxis, I lost consciousness and I woke up in the hospital on Christmas Day. (My mom called an ambulance when she saw my face was swelling). My cousin didn’t say sorry when I started breaking out in hives. He started laughing and told me what he had done. I woke up to a text from him saying “stop overreacting you need protein” with a picture of a slaughtered cow. His parents aren’t very well off (in fact I don’t think they have insurance). I just want to know, should I pursue a legal case? Or is that an overreaction.   --- [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/aa5fs0/update_poisoned_at_family_dinner_ne/?st=JQ7CR0RG&sh=0053a995) Hey guys. I first just want to thank you all for all the support regarding my last post. I’ve had a free consultation with a personal injury lawyer and have filed a police report like many of you suggested. I let my cousin and aunt and uncle know this and they immediately ended up offering to pay my hospital bill (and ambulance ride) in full. My cousin gave me a half-hearted apology and his parents told me he won’t be leaving the house for the next year and will be severely punished for this. I’ve decided not to press charges, I don’t really have the money/time for it, and all I needed was my medical expenses paid. I just plan on not going to any family gatherings where he is for a long long LONG time.

Poisoned at family dinner

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fbfhz8/poisoned_at_family_dinner/

fbxkxz

[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/7ano43/my_friend_16f_asked_me_16m_out_on_a_date_shes/) So there's this girl I'm friends with, Louise, who is in a wheelchair. We've been acquaintances since the start of high school, but recently we've become friends. Today at lunch she asked me if I wanted to go out next Sunday with her, in her words "you know, like a date". What do I do? I've never been asked out by someone before. I like her as a friend, I've never thought about her in a romantic way before. I think I'll go for it. Is there anything special I could do to make her more comfortable? She seemed a little bit nervous when she asked me out. Comment: I slept on it and I realised how much that this date would mean to her, even if it doesn't lead to anything more in the future, though there's definitely a small part of me now that would like there to be more.   [A Week Later](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/7cpwd3/my_friend_16f_asked_me_16m_out_on_a_date_shes/) We met at a quiet coffee shop near her house. I was worried that I would get nervous and it would be awkward but instead we spent 2 hours having a great time getting to know each other. Afterwards we went to the park, sat on a bench and watched the world go by while she held my hand, which was unexpected. We called it a day when it started getting dark so I took her home and she gave me a tight hug when we said our goodbyes. I enjoyed spending time with her and I think she felt the same, but I'm not sure if I should ask her out so soon.   EDIT: Took everyone's advice, asked her on a second date and she couldn't have looked happier when she said yes.   ---   [Guidance teacher says I'm breaking the law by dating a disabled girl because I'm "in a position of power over her." Can I get in trouble for this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/7dn2eq/guidance_teacher_says_im_breaking_the_law_by/) I was called out of class today by my guidance teacher because she is concerned that I am breaking the law by having a relationship with a disabled girl because I am apparently abusing my position of power over her. * We're both 16 and we have a few classes together. I'm not her teacher, so I think that means I'm not in a position of power. I have helped her a few times with homework and such, does that count? * She's perfectly normal mentally, she just can't walk, so it's not as if I'm taking advantage of her in any way. * We've been on 1 date and had lunch together a few times, I can't see how this is inappropriate. Is my guidance teacher correct? Will I get in trouble because I'm dating someone who is not as able as I am? I don't want to get either of us in trouble, any advice is appreciated.   [UPDATE on me illegally dating a girl in a wheelchair!](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/7ean4v/update_on_me_illegally_dating_a_girl_in_a/) *minor edits My parents, my friend (I'll call her Louise) and I met with the headteacher and the guidance teacher first thing in the morning. The headteacher, who was out of the loop of the situation, asked me about my relationship with Louise. I answered honestly that she asked me out and that we'd been on two dates together, and we'd occasionally had lunch together. She said that was fine and sent me off to class. (The rest of this was described to me by my friend and my parents, since I was no longer present) She then asked Louise if she I had made her feel uncomfortable, had hurt her, or if I had tried to force her to do certain things. She replied that I was caring and made her feel special, and that "if she was suggesting that I had taken advantage of her, she could fuck off" and then she quickly left on the verge of tears. My parents then asked the guidance teacher what she exactly meant by me abusing my position of power, and it became apparent to my mum that she had no idea what she was talking about. She thought because she had seen me helping Louise in the library with things and because I occasionally pushed her around, that I was some sort of helper/carer for her, not her classmate and date. After some back and forth between the four of them (according to another friend who walked by the office some of it was quite heated), it was agreed that apologies would be made to both of us. My parents and I both think the teacher did it more out of concern for the girl I'm seeing than out of malice, since she's a very quiet girl who might me uncomfortable coming forward about an issue like this. She's been known to stick her nose into things that are none of her business before, and the girl I asked out was bullied at the start of high school so I assume she believe she was looking out for her. TL;DR * Bad news: the guidance teacher didn't actually understand what the phrase "abuse of a position of power" actually meant. She apologised and will not have further contact with us. * Good news: it turns out you were all correct, I'm not in any legal trouble. * Happy news: I had my first kiss and Louise called me her boyfriend, so at least some good came of today.

My friend [16F] asked me [16M] out on a date. She's wheelchair bound; will I get in trouble?

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fbxkxz/my_friend_16f_asked_me_16m_out_on_a_date_shes/

fc4caa

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/comments/deu17o/guy_gave_me_5_fake_onehundred_dollar_bills_and/) My family and I are in a rough spot financially so we were getting rid of one of our phones in an attempt to hold us over for a week or so. We put the phone up for sale on Let Go and got contacted by a guy who was interested. He kept putting the sale off until it was dark out and then he came by. Due to the low lighting, I didn't see that the hundreds were fake until it was too late. He snatched the phone, hopped in his car and sped off. Needless to say we are in a worse spot than we were originally. I have already contacted the phone service provider and they shut down access to the phone via the IMEI but i'm sure they can get around that. I contacted the police and they sent over a couple of officers. I gave the officers all of the info I had and they said the report will be available in a few days. ​I know this isn't much to go on but does anyone have a way that I can look up the name associated with this phone number so I can at least confirm whether or not the name listed on his Let Go account is legitimate? Honestly, i'm not expecting to be able to get justice but I thought I would give reddit shot to see if there were any Batmans out here that could help.   [They Got Him](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/comments/dju841/update_justice_served_guy_gave_me_5_fake/) The cops who came over and made the report on the night of the incident zipped up the fake bills and took them with them. Apparently there had been a guy in my area using fake hundred dollar bills for the past week or so and 2 detectives had gotten assigned the case. They contacted me the following day to question me about some things and ask if I could identify the guy if needed (I could) . u/ Cat_Hardin contacted me and offered to help get information on the number that I had for the guy. After checking about ten databases, u/ Cat_Hardin confirmed the number belonged to a 75 year old guy from Baton Rouge. There wasn't much more to go on but after some digging, I found that this man had one relative that lived in my general area and this relative had the same first name as the guy that gave me the fake money and took my phone. That could be a coincidence but I thought it warranted further investigation. I started digging into this relative. I couldn't find a phone number listed for this guy but I did manage to find out that he had been previously arrested for shoplifting and had a suspended drivers license. I couldn't, however, find a picture of him anywhere. No facebook, myspace, etc... Short of showing up to this person's house to see if it was him, I felt like I had exhausted all of my investigative abilities so I called the detectives back and gave them all of the information I had gathered. And it's a good thing I did because the officer who initially took my statement wrote down the number wrong so the detectives were working off of incorrect information. 2 days later they called me in to look at a photo line-up and, bam, there he was. That was the guy. His grandfather lived in Baton Rouge and had been paying for his cell phone. The relative that I had been looking into turned out to be this guy's Father. The detectives thanked me for my time and said that should be all they need. They called me up today and let me know that this guy was being charged with Criminal Fraud (felony) for attempting to purchase goods with the intent to deceive. He's also being charged with a second felony for the usage of counterfeit currency. There's a warrant out for his arrest right now and they are looking for him. And the icing on the cake is this. They found my phone. He pawned it off and the pawn broker found out that the IMEI on this phone had it listed as stolen. The detectives said that they will give me a call when they get it back. Thanks again for everyone's help! You guys are awesome! ​   **Tl;dr** Reddit helped me track the number and find out more information. I gave that info to the detectives. Guy is getting charged with felonies and I'm getting my phone back!

Guy gave me 5 fake one-hundred dollar bills and stole my phone before taking off.

r/RBI

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fc4caa/guy_gave_me_5_fake_onehundred_dollar_bills_and/

fcx988

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ccd4vh/fl_my_parents_have_joined_some_new_age_religion/) My mom and step dad are really into "new age" science and beliefs. I've never agreed with them on this and didn't know how extreme it was. Recently though they have become involved in a extremely weird "support group". I say that in quotes because I have no fucking clue who they are. When I'm around they never mention any group names or what "organization" they work for or are apart of. Because of this I have not had much luck finding out stuff as "new age cult" gives to many results to look into. ​ This Monday my mom and stepdad sat me and my 4 siblings down. They told us that we will be moving at the end of the month to a more "stable" location within a spiritual community. According to them they plan to pull all 5 of us (im 16, couldn't think of anywhere else to mention this.) out of school here and enroll us in their "mind awakening" school where ever we move. I tried to get anything out of them but they refused to talk to me at all about it. According to them because i'm still a child in "mind, body, and spirit" i need to listen to them not ask questions.   I've actually been freaking out since then and have been trying to get advice but I've been unable too. They cut of the internet, phone and TV Tuesday and they have been keeping a fucking lazer focus on me and my siblings since then. I'm currently at a friends house and this is the only way I've actually got access to the internet. this seems like a cult 100% to me. Last night they had 3 people come and talk to me and my siblings and the stuff they told us was fucking crazy. I was talked to alone by an old man who told me about how my mind is "closed" and that I will slowly learn to open it as my parents have and that the "leaders" will love to meet me and put me in their programs. ​ I need to know what the fuck I can do here. My dad has shared custody of me and since Monday i've had no contact with him. He is supposed to have a call with me every night but my mom claims he's been "informed" and supports this 100%. I tried calling him this morning but he didn't answer. He lives in another state so it's kinda hard to get into contact with him outside of phone and email. I'm at a friends house because I was able to leave the house for the first time in a week this morning after I told my parents I wanted to go to the park but came here and told my friend everything. Her parents are not home but she's trying to call them and I plan to stay here tonight if I can. My parents have forbid me from using the internet because it's "full of lies from them". ​ I'm so lost right now it makes me sick. I do not want to go with them to this obvious compound and I need to know what the fuck I can do here. Can I just run away and if my parents harbor me can they get in trouble. If my mom has been lying about my dad can he do anything? thanks. ​ **Edit:** I talked to my mom and told her because I would be moving soon and this might be one of the last times I could see my friend I would like to stay the night and she said it was ok and that this family was "trustworthy not to try and corrupt my view". I got into contact with my dad and he's pissed. He did not agree and was told I didn't want to talk to him. My 15 year old sister's dad was told the same despite the fact he has primary custody and she only spends the summers with us. My sisters dad is going to call cps too and I just got done with my call to them but I wont repeat what they said here. I will be spending the night here and when my mom asks me to come back tomorrow my dad has told me not to go back and tell her that he will be flying down here to Florida immediately if I don't check in with him or he hears I went back to her. He says that he is already looking into emergency custody (I want to thank my friends parents real quick because holy fuck have they been great. They both have been great and are working with my dad right now to help me). I also will be going and buying a burner phone tomorrow and withdrawing all my money from the bank. My dad says he will handle getting my stuff from my mom when the time comes. Thanks guys for the advice. --- [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/csii9j/update_my_parents_joined_a_new_age_cult_and_tried/) It's been over a month and things were pretty crazy and my therapist said it probably wasn't the best idea to rant about it online till I felt ready. Well, now that i'm settled down a bit I feel like it might be good to get this off my chest anyway. Sorry if this disappoints you guys though as my dad says I should not include any personal details for fear of leaking my identity (so even though I know the group now I won't be naming them for fear of it getting back to me). ​ So after I stayed the night with my friends family my mom and step dad tried to get me to come back home immediately. My dad said not to go so I somehow convinced my mom to let me stay the rest of this day and I would come home that night. This plan didn't work out very well though as my sisters dad called the police to report that he couldn't contact my sister and was afraid she was kidnapped. It didn't take long before my mom caught on that I was the one who leaked to him their plans and they freaked out.   My mom then came to my friends house and tried to force her way in to take me because I had been "corrupted" and needed to be locked away from bad influences till we left for the compound. My friends parents called the police and I called my dad and he got to talk to my mom. I'll leave it short and say this was a nightmare situation that almost ended with my mom being charged with trespassing. ​ My mom and dad argued on the phone for over 3 hours outside of my friends house. In the end my dad made it so I would not have to go with them but the only "safe" place my mom would agree to me staying is with my uncle 4 hours away. I stayed with him for over a week and it was the worst week of my life. My mom called me constantly to try to talk to me and "save me from the evil energies my father had possessed me with.: My step father also began to send me various threats and told me that at the end of the month I was coming no matter what. ​ After a week of this, everything changed. My mom stopped calling me, my stepdad stopped texting and they went quiet for 4 days. Me, my uncle, my dad, all of them couldn't reach them. My sisters dad also stopped being able to reach them. During this time my mom bought my sister a plane ticket home and my sisters dad only learned of this when he got a call after my parents dropped my sister off at the airport. After this my mom called me one last time. ​ She proceeded to tell me that she had been meditating, praying to my guardian spirits daily, and talking to the "leaders". All to to help me "open my third eye to see the truth and understand I was being used by evil." During these sessions apparently she finally "realized the truth" and saw me for the "evil spawn I was." According to her I am a "evil seed" and that I not only was brought here to bring evil spirits onto her and her "good children". I also infected the womb and corrupted my sister.   She told me to send my uncle down and pick up all of my "worldly possessions" that were infected and to not come with him or ever contact her or her family again. She ended by telling me that I was never her child and that she hopes "the universe deals with me". The last contact I know about was her telling my dad she wants to revoke her parental rights. ​ At the end of last month they moved to the compound with my 3 step siblings. I moved out to live with my dad and have been in therapy since then. Things are still pretty raw right now and I really don't feel like getting into the emotions I feel towards this. But I feel like at least updating this may be a start. Thank you everyone who gave advice and sent me kind messages on here offering help. I really do appreciate it :)

My parents have joined some new age "religion" and intend to move me to a compound against my will.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fcx988/my_parents_have_joined_some_new_age_religion_and/

fd4swn

[Almost two years of homelessness comes to an end tomorrow!](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/fabhvf/almost_two_years_of_homelessness_comes_to_an_end/) My boyfriend, and I have been homeless together for almost 2 years. The first year, and a half we were in active addiction, our drug of choice being heroin. During that time we slept outdoors; benches, tents, the ground, pee soaked parking garages, the woods, just anywhere we could find. About 6 months ago we moved into a shelter, got on methadone matinence, stopped using drugs, and up until about 2 months ago we were just sitting around doing nothing to improve beyond that. Then we started searching for jobs, and have both been employed for about a month. We found a woman renting a room in her home for $500 a month, and only wants first months rent to move in. We move in tomorrow. I am so happy. I can not wait to cook meals for us, to shower with hot water without worrying about contrating MRSA, to sleep in a bed (we are buying an air mattress tomorrrow) that only the two of us have slept in, to not have to sleep on top of anything I don't want stolen, to not be thrown out at 7am, there is a washer/dryer in the house I can use...I could go on forever, but you all know what I mean. My time being homeless has made me appreciate very basic things that I used to take forgranted, and I am going to cherish all of those things. We will be saving money towards getting a studio apartment, but for now having our own private space in someone elses home with access to the kithen, laundry, living room and everything else in the home is absolutely wonderful. The home owner is so nice, she made it clear she wants us to be comfortable, and live as if it were our own home. While we were sleeping on concrete dope sick, starving, degraded, and miserable, I could not see a way out. I did not believe we would ever get here. Now we are here, and it is surreal. I am trying to stop thinking in a manner that leaves me waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it is difficult. I am terrified of losing this. I know though that as long as we continue on the path we are on, things will be okay. I am proud of us, we have come so far. TLDR; Myself, and my boyfriend are moving into a room tomorrow after 2 years of homelessness, drug addiction, and misery. We got clean with the help of methadone matinence, got jobs, and found a cheap room for rent in the home of very nice woman who is giving us access to the entire house. We put in the hard work, and it is paying off. ---   [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless/comments/fcjkp4/update_i_posted_about_the_end_to_our_two_years_of/) I posted about the end to our two years of homelessness about a week ago, and so many of you left words of kindness. We are so happy in our new home! This is our cozy little bedroom. If you are stuggling, please don't give up! One step at a time, you can get there. https://i.redd.it/hm0dffkgxbk41.jpg ...Today it was warm out so I opened the windows, and just laid on my bed listening to SILENCE. It's been so long since I've been able to enjoy silence. I will never forget how much we truly have now, because at one point not long ago we had only the dirty clothes on our bodies. We're both so happy.

My boyfriend and I have been homeless for almost 2 years

r/Homeless

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fd4swn/my_boyfriend_and_i_have_been_homeless_for_almost/

fdfvyb

[My grandparents don’t approve of my relationship with my black boyfriend, and don’t want me (F24) to marry him (26). I don’t know what to do, since I don’t want to lose either of these people.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/d0fmrl/my_grandparents_dont_approve_of_my_relationship/) What do you do when you find out that someone you love more than anything in the world actually has some bad qualities? I was orphaned at 8, and my paternal grandparents took me in. They’ve raised me with the utmost love and care anyone could ask for, and I’m not lying when I say that they’d readily die for me - but most parents/grandparents are like that so you all know what I’m talking about. I’ve always looked up to them, and they’ve always set the very best examples for me; I’ve never ever seen either of them be unkind to a single soul, and they’ve always taught me to be that way too. Recently though, I received the shock of my life when I saw their reaction to seeing my boyfriend (let’s call him Sam) for the first time (who happens to be black). I’ve never pegged them for racist people, and it was honestly unexpected. They tried to hide it but I could see it on their faces, that they didn’t approve. Since then they’ve just never liked the guy, and have always been like really nit-picky about him, criticising him about the smallest of things, always judging every single thing he says and does very harshly etc. I’ve tried time and again to convince them that he’s a really good guy, that he loves me and cares about me but to no avail. Well, he proposed to me, and it was the happiest moment of my life. When I told my grandparents though, it was clear they were upset. This time, unlike before, they didn’t make excuses about why they didn’t like him and just straight up confessed to having a problem with his race. At first I was incredibly pissed off, but I tried to reason with them and get to the bottom of why they felt this way. They think all black people are really similar to the way they’re portrayed in racist stereotypes. This is all despite the fact that he’s nothing like the racist stereotypes portray black people. He’s a college educated, well dressed, well spoken man with a good job and a decent salary. This doesn’t sway them. Another thing that really confuses me is my mom, who was Asian. They were apparently not only okay with their son marrying an Asian woman, they loved her like she was their own daughter. They’re also really good friends with my maternal grandparents, who are from Korea/Singapore. When my maternal grandparents found out, they weren’t too happy either, and they were actually much more direct about it compared to my paternal grandparents. I honestly don’t know what to do. Myboyfriend fiancé has always sorta known that my grandparents didn’t really like him, but he doesn’t suspect that it’s because of his race. My friends have all unanimously sided against my grandparents and said stuff like “they don’t get to dictate what you do with your life; tell them to either accept it or you’ll cut them off permanently; just cut them off they’re toxic people” etc. While my grandparents are definitely in the wrong about all this, I can’t even begin to fathom cutting them out of my life. They gave everything they had and more to raise me and give me the best life they could. They’re the reason I am who I am today; they were always there for me, took care of my every need and always put me above themselves. How can I just abandon them like this? After everything they’ve done for me? On the other hand I can’t imagine losing Sam either. What do I do? P.S I gave my maternal grandparents an earful, and told them straight up that they had no right to say the kind of stuff they said about Sam, and that it was extremely rude. They tried to say stuff like “we only want what’s best for you” etc, but I shut that shit down, and told them I won’t speak to them again unless they treat him with respect.     [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/d4ofaz/update_my_grandparents_dont_approve_of_my/) Hey guys, thanks for all your responses on my previous post. It was all really good advice, but the very best out of it all was the suggestion that I come clean to Sam. I did that, and he reacted in a surprisingly calm manner. I asked him how he’s taking it so well and he told me he’s experienced something similar before. His cousin had come out as gay a few years back, and he told me how his own grandparents reacted very poorly to his cousins revelation. He told me they absolutely refused to acknowledge the fact that he was gay and said some pretty hurtful stuff along the lines of how his homosexuality would embarrass them in front of all their family and friends etc. They wouldn’t allow the cousin to bring his boyfriend to family gatherings, and threatened to cut him out out of their inheritance unless he “got his head straight”. He then showed me pictures of his grandparents laughing along with his cousins husband, pictures of them at his cousins wedding etc. He told me they eventually grew out of it and as they go to know him they really bonded with the guy. Sam joked that he wouldn’t give my grandparents a choice and that within a month they’d be in love with him. Well I think it’s working. Sam and I have dinner at my grandparents house every night, and each night I notice them more and more at ease and more avidly taking part in our conversations. Sam and my grandpa are both WW2 enthusiasts, and my grandpa absolutely loves having discussions on the subject with Sam. I decided to update this post because last night something very special happened. I got there before Sam, and I could see the disappointment on their faces when they thought I had come alone. They asked where Sam was, when he was coming etc. Then they said we wouldn’t start eating until he arrived. I’m just so incredibly happy that I get to keep both relationships.

Grandparents don’t approve of my relationship with my black boyfriend, and don’t want me to marry him

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fdfvyb/grandparents_dont_approve_of_my_relationship_with/

fdnkwe

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/eq2oln/being_harassed_by_jehovahs_witnesses_what_actions/) TL;DR: Jehovah's Witnesses have tried to enter my home without my permission. They know I can't get a restraining order. What can I do?? **The long version:** We have 3 access points to our house - Door 1, Door 2 and Door 3. We have no access to answering Door 2 (we don'tuse it as an entrance point), so if someone knocks, we have to walk outside from Door 1 and do the whole, "hi, we don't use that door" thing. Door 3 is a set of glass patio doors. This is relevant for later. 4 months ago, Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on Door 2. I walked round to the side to see who it was and was ambushed into conversation by Brenda, and it became very obviously immediately that she as a JW. I was 9 months pregnant at that point and Brenda asked me a lot of questions about my maternity leave and my husband's schedule. I thought the questions were innocent enough and answered them. Since then, every week she has been back. Sometimes two or three times a week, but always at least once. She always brings a different person with her. I have asked her several times to stop coming back and to leave me alone. I feel like I have been targeted because she knows I am at home alone and therefore vulnerable. I constantly have my blinds drawn and I am afraid to answer the door. She has tried several times to enter my home and I have always shut the door in time. I haven't answered the door in weeks. My husband is furious about the situation but he is never home when they knock. About a month ago, I informed Brenda if she didn't leave me alone, I would file a restraining order. She said I couldn't do that as it was religious discrimination and that I can't file an RO against a whole church. I might be able to stop her from coming, but there would always be other people from the Church to come round. This weirded me out at the time but I gathered she was probably right. I told her to fuck off anyway and have gone back to ignoring the door. Today, however, it went too far and I am genuinely nervous. There was a knock at Door 2. I am expecting an Amazon package so went out the front. I saw Brenda, said, "you need to leave me ALONE" and ran back inside. I locked Door 1 behind me. I sat in the front room with my baby with the blinds down. She began hammering on the bay window as she walked from Door 2 to Door 1. When she got to Door 1, she began viciously attacking the door. I am not exaggerating. She was hammering on the door as hard as she could. I stood in the door frame to the living room and watched the door handle going up and down as she tried to enter. I stayed silent. The person she had brought with her was stood at Door 2, I could see the silhouette through the frosted glass. They did not move from door 2 the entire time. After 3 or 4 minutes of her trying to open Door 1, she walked around the side, again hammering on the bay window. I stood still for about a minute in the door frame. I was about to turn around, but then I saw Brenda stood at Door 3. From where I was stood, I could see out to Door 3, but someone stood at Door 3 would not have been able to see me. She was trying to open Door 3 silently. I always keep that door locked thankfully. After roughly a minute of her trying to get in, she began pounding the glass. This went on for about 10 minutes. I phoned the non-emergency police line and told them I felt like I was being harassed. The woman I spoke to was lovely and told me she could hear the noises through the phone. She said I needed to phone the Church they were from, speak to the leader and file a complaint. She advised me to go to the Citizen's Advice Bureau and ask for help drafting a legal letter telling them they needed to stop. She told me that if they continued, she had logged the incident, and said I needed to phone back and quote that reference number as they would then send police officers to the Church to have a word. After this call, I phoned CAB to try make an appointment and was told it would be 6 weeks, or I could try going in for a walk in appointment. I can't go to a walk in as I have a 3.5 month old baby and we would be there for hours. I also think 6 weeks is too long for me to be living in fear of answering my own front door. I then tried to phone the branch Brenda is from. I live in Huddersfield, and when you google "Kingdom Hall Huddersfield", no phone number for that branch comes up ANYWHERE. Mirfield and Brighouse both have numbers though which I called. Brighouse answered, but would not transfer me to Huddersfield. They transferred me to their service department in London. The operator refused to give me the phone number for the Huddersfield branch. He said he could take my name and number and they could call me back. I refused to give my number and said I urgently needed to speak to the Huddersfield branch leader. He asked why, and I took a leap of faith and told him the truth. He told me that he could not give me the number, but he could take my name and number. At this point I was pissed off, said some rude things and hung up. I'm annoyed and distressed. I want this to end. I felt like I was in a bloody horror movie watching her try claw her way through Door 3. HOW can I get this to end?? Please help. Thanks in advance. **ETA:** I have made an appointment with CAB, but was hoping anyone would have any advice for something that is a bit more immediate. **Edit:** Thank you so much for all the replies! I got a lot more help than I was expecting, so I'm sorry I can't reply to you all but rest assured I am reading EVERYTHING. **Sorry, another edit:** I DO NOT hate Jehovah's Witnesses. I am usually more than happy to have a 10 minute chat, which is why I didn't turn Brenda away when I first met her. This behaviour is completely out of the ordinary and today it genuinely terrified me. I did not mean to come across as though I think this is normal JW behaviour, I am very aware that it isn't, which is why I'm asking for help. Thanks!   ---   [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/etuxxk/update_being_harassed_by_jehovahs_witnesses_what/) Hi guys, it's been a week so I thought I'd share with you what's happened so far. After calling around for HOURS and constantly having my request for a phone number for the correct congregation refused, I decided to lie and say I had just joined the congregation and was looking to speak to one of the elders. At this point, someone from Colne Valley gave me the phone number for one of the elders named Raymond in Huddersfield. I called him, no answer, left a voicemail explaining my situation and asking him to return my call. After a few missed calls back and forth between us, I sent Raymond a text saying this: Hi Raymond, this is (lowerchelsea) from (address). Unfortunately we seem to keep missing each other's calls! I would like to be placed on a Do Not Contact list if you have one as I have been visited weekly for over four months after making it clear I am not interested. I am a new mum on maternity leave and I am starting to feel harassed because I am home alone. After Friday's events when the door handle was tried after I did not open the door, I contacted the police and now have an incident number to call if anyone returns to my house. I have been assured that any future visits will culminate in police involvement. I'm very sad it has come to this as I have always been on very friendly terms with the Jehovah's Witnesses in my community. However, after my door handles were tried, I have to take into consideration the safety of my baby. For the first time, I was genuinely concerned and deeply upset. Thank you for understanding. Raymond called me as soon as I sent the text. He was a really nice man, we were on the phone for about 30 minutes. He was horrified and disgusted and assured me this was NOT how JW are supposed to act. Now, he told me there is no one named Brenda in his congregation. He asked me to describe her and if I could name anyone she had brought with her. I gave the description but could only remember the names of four of the people she had brought, none of which sounded familiar to him either. He asked if she definitely went to his church. I told him that she had SAID she did, because she specifically described the location as by Matalan. I had thought it was weird at the time because usually the JW that visit my area are from Lockwood or Colne Valley. Raymond was even more concerned and started echoing some of the sentiments you guys had said - she might not be a real JW, just someone posing to try gain access to people's homes, or she might be mentally unstable and trying to preach to people who aren't on her 'patch'. He told me if she turned up again to call the police immediately. He also told me that in the meanwhile, he was going to call every congregation in a 20 mile radius, give her description and put my address on a do not contact list. He was very sorry and said he hoped her behaviour hadn't blighted my view of all JW. I explained it hadn't. He said he would call me if he got any updates. Well, it's been a week now and I've heard nothing from him, but I've also heard nothing from Brenda! Usually she visits about 3 times in an 8 day period and she ALWAYS turns up on a Wednesday, but nothing this week!!! Today was the first day I had my living room blinds open in 4 months. It was lovely, although it really showed all the areas I need to deep clean. Oops. If she comes back again, I'll just phone the police immediately as I still have my incident number. Thanks so much for all the advice you guys gave! And a super big fuck you to the guy who said I shouldn't have reproduced xoxo (Also, please stop telling me this behaviour is out of the ordinary for Jehovah's Witnesses. I know it is, that's why I asked for help!)

Being harassed by Jehovah's Witnesses

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fdnkwe/being_harassed_by_jehovahs_witnesses/

fdyl4c

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dos259/aita_for_telling_my_8_year_old_he_cant_go_trick/) in /r/AmItheAsshole (AITA) I have 3 kids, a 10 year old daughter, a 8 year old son and an almost 7 year old daughter. My son is on the autism spectrum, but is very high functioning. Lately he’s been very mean, mostly to his younger sister. It’s been going on for a few months, and we’ve talked about it with his therapist, discussed it alone with him, giving him a lot of 1 on 1 time, we’ve tried everything thinking maybe it’s because he’s jealous of no longer being the baby. This morning I heard my 7 year old crying bloody murder and when I went upstairs to her bedroom I see my son with scissors and my daughters costume that we made together as a project was all cut up to pieces. I comforted my daughter, made him apologize and brought him downstairs. My husband and I asked him why he would do that and he said “It was ugly and I didn’t like it.” I told him that was the meanest thing he’s done, and that he’s grounded and can’t go trick or treating. He completely freaked out, had a tantrum, kicked and screamed and we just put a pillow under his head until he stopped and got our other kids ready for school. While we were getting the girls ready, I guess he called my mother and told her that we weren’t letting him go trick or treating and she called me yelling about how could I do that to our child and he has autism and he didn’t know what he was doing. My husband thinks maybe we also over reacted and we should let him earn the chance to go trick or treating but he completely destroyed his sisters costume and that’s not something we can brush off. AITA for not budging?   **Edit:** my husband and I have decided he will not be trick or treating. He has shown no remorse throughout the day. We are going to discuss this with his therapist when we see her later today, but this malicious behavior is not going to be tolerated and I will not coddle my son to be a shitty person and man. Thank you all for your responses.   [A Month Later](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e0nl97/update_aita_for_telling_my_8_year_old_son_he_cant/) I’ve had people message me over the course of the last couple weeks asking for an update, enough so that I decided to just make an updated post. My daughter whose costume got destroyed got to pick out whatever she wanted at the Halloween store and she had a blast. I stuck by my decision to have my son stay home, explaining to him very carefully why. My husband took our daughters out while he stayed home with us. He helped hand out candy, we watched Goosebumps which he thinks is the greatest horror movie of all time, and I think he enjoyed Halloween despite his punishment. In regards to him being mean to his little sister. We brought it up to his therapist that he cut up her costume, and she said we did the right thing by not allowing him to go trick or treating and that we showed my daughter that her feelings matter. She also suggested we bring my daughters specifically my youngest to therapy with him and maybe they can hash it out in a non biased environment. I started doing that the following appointment and I think it’s slowly working. His birthday is coming up on the 27th of November so I think we think perhaps maybe have a Halloween themed party and go trick or treating in our house.   **Edit:** his birthday party was just an idea, but you all are right, that would show his punishment was temporary and his actions don’t have consequences. My son is not a monster despite some messages that say he is. I want all my children to be loved and thrive as happy and compassionate people.

'I told my 8 year old he can’t go trick or treating'

AITA

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fdyl4c/i_told_my_8_year_old_he_cant_go_trick_or_treating/

fegm46

[AITA for confronting my fiancé after I was turned away from the jewelry store for having a fake ring when trying to have it sized?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9nnh3/aita_for_confronting_my_fianc%C3%A9_after_i_was_turned/) by u/thrwawaythrow My fiancé proposed on Christmas and everything was perfect. The ring was a bit too big though and I’ve just hit my goal weight (I was losing weight) so I figured I’d have it sized correctly. I’ve been holding off because I wanted to make sure I was the correct size after losing the weight. The ring box says Tiffany and Co. and I was literally over the moon with it. I told him he shouldn’t have spent this much on me but he said he wanted to get me the blue box. I go into Tiffany’s to have it sized because my friend told me I should only have them work on my ring. They take the ring and ask my for my fiancé’s info to look up in their system. They can’t find it and she takes the ring in the back. The manager comes back a little while after and says that this isn’t a Tiffany and co ring and shows me there’s no engraving inside. I go home and my first thought is that he probably bought it preloved and he got duped. He comes home from work and I ask him where he got the ring from. He said Tiffany and Co. at (locations name) I flat out asked him if he got it used online and it was okay if he did. He flipped out and said no it’s new from the store. I fessed up and told him what happened with the sizing. He flipped out and said that I was checking up on him and snooping for the price, etc. I was firm and said no I just wanted it resized and they told me it’s not from their company. He said that they’re wrong and he got it there. He told me that I should have consulted him and he would of had it sized for me and that it feels like I’m going behind his back. I’m confused by this because I thought it was a simple task that I didn’t need him for. Anyway, he won’t really talk about where he got the ring and is only saying that he will size it and took the ring. --- **Edit-** I know this is wrong but I checked his tablet this morning when he went to work to see if I can find any information. His amazon was still logged in and [found my ring](https://www.amazon.com/Jude-Jewelers-Classical-Stainless-Engagement/dp/B07917KBV9/ref=mp_s_a_1_46_sspa?keywords=.25+cz+solitaire&qid=1582739679&sr=8-46-spons&psc=1&smid=A25CCG2ULY9X5G&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUE0NFlYT0tEOTdaNEwmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA2NTkzMzgzRTQ2TEVDNzAzTkNJJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA0ODg4OTUyQVlQVlhQTEMyM0NUJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2J0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=) on there, actually 2 of them. The first one was bought December 2nd and then another one a size smaller last night. I’m beyond words. Not that it’s not a Tiffany ring but that he was playing me with a $6 ring. After he purchased a mini bar and an OLED TV for himself on Black Friday. I can’t believe I went into Tiffany’s with a $5 rip off. I’m mortified. **Edit again-** so I texted him the link while he’s at work. He called me like 2 seconds later and asked me what’s going on. I said I went on his iPad because I had to use it and he left the browser on this. (Little lie on my part) I told him I don’t care about the ring but devastated at the lies. I told him if he doesn’t tell me the truth right now and why he did it that I’m getting a hotel and he won’t see me when he gets home. He started crying saying that he felt like he needed to get me the best but he couldn’t afford it. I said but you could afford the 3k on your stuff. He said the smallest Tiffany ring is at least 5k which i doubt is true I’m sure there’s cheaper but whatever and that he just wanted to get me a stand in until he saved up. I told him I didn’t even need the Tiffany ring. That he could have bought a $200 14k gold band at Macy’s. Instead he spent money on a box and two fake rings. He then confessed and said that he got the box from his friend that proposed with a Tiffany ring years ago and the wife doesn’t need the boxes. I hung up. I texted him I need some space and time and I’m going to go stay at a hotel to just chill for a day. **Update-** First of all, thanks to everyone who commented on my original post and for the help. I’ve had an overwhelming amount of messages that I can’t reply to at the moment, but I appreciate everyone caring enough that they wanted an update. I am still staying in a hotel, I don’t have any close friends or family nearby and I’ve met with a lawyer to help me sell my half of our house. He decided the relationship isn’t salvageable because I aired our dirty laundry on the internet and it got popular with the media. I’ll be leaving my job in a week to move back home with my family. Unfortunately this has put me in a financial bind but it’s better than staying with my ex at this point, I’m glad he ended it because maybe I was too much of a coward to. The ring was just a symptom of the problem. I guess you don’t want to financially commit to an expensive ring when you know in your heart that the person doesn’t mean all that much to you.

I was turned away from the jewelry store for having a fake ring

AITA

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fegm46/i_was_turned_away_from_the_jewelry_store_for/

fegqfc

I was turned away from the jewelry store for having a fake ring

Kinglens311

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fegqfc/i_was_turned_away_from_the_jewelry_store_for/

fehgky

Copying and pasting from r/TrollXWeddings, where all of this was originally posted. I'm not the one to usually harp about the same topic over and over, but I want to warn as many people about this venue/brewery as possible. Anyways, enjoy the journey! So, I thought this would be easier to post an update regarding the situation in a brand new post. Just so it doesn't get so damn messy and confusing. If you're wondering 'oh hey lacrymosaone, wtf are you talking about?', here's the [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXWeddings/comments/fafv72/wedding_venue_cancellation_3_months_prior/) to the original post explaining everything. So, after crying my eyes out and being a little bitch about it, I decided to put my big girl pants on and get to working. I went on as many wedding venue websites as possible that they were listed on and left them an honest review (with low ratings because...obvious?). Also called them out on their primary social media page directly, asking why they refused to respond to us and that we will not be ignored. Wasn't planning on continuously harassing them, but we needed answers. Well, folks, I guess leaving bad reviews and calling them out is exactly the way to get a reply from this establishment. The OWNER, not the coordinator mind you (stay tuned, I got more about this person in a bit) reached out to us stating that there was never a record of our booking, that the business received irate calls from us (which my fiance' admitted that he did get a little upset but like, didn't he have a good reason to? No cursing or anything, just clearly flustered) and that she (the owner) didn't understand why we were so upset. Ooooh buddy. Did my fiance' have a fun time typing up a two paged essay on everything we did on our end and how they treated us, timestamps of everything included. Hit send. Well, we still never got a reply or an apology for any of this, but there was some serious satisfaction in sending that email. You thought we were stupid, didn't you? ;) Anyways, back to the coordinator bit...she quit. Like, legit quit. I didn't find this out through the venue, though. I had to go through searching social media and found out that she quit and got a new job at a completely different venue. I'm at odds whether to be upset with her or not, because if that place treated me as I've researched they treat employees and told you that all your summer weddings were cancelled...yeah, I'd bail on that, too. But at least I'd send an email or something. Regardless, we got a new venue that was very caring of our needs and heard about our plight. It'll be a little more travel to get there, but they were wonderful, offered us a tour on the day that we should have had a tour at Wild Wolf, and were super accepting and welcome. We got EXTREMELY lucky as the only weekend for a wedding they had open was ours. (Of course they could have just said that, but at this rate I don't even care. I just want a place that treats us right, is affordable and doesn't ghost/lie to us). I'm not going to post any names, of course, but I was quite surprised when another bride-to-be messaged me on Tuesday that she had put money down on Wild Wolf for a wedding and was also being ignored/ghosted. I'm just so shocked and not shocked at the same time. I hope to help her in any way that I can because this situation sucked for us, let alone other people that are dealing with this as well. It may be a cute little brewery in Nellysford, VA, but please, I'd highly recommend not supporting this business at all unless they get new management and treat their staff and customers better. It's really depressing places like this exist. Again, the name of the place is Wild Wolf Brewing Company. Avoid if you want to have zero panic attacks and expect to not be ghosted.

Wedding Venue Cancellation 3 Months Prior (UPDATE)

r/TrollXWeddings

lacrymosaone

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fehgky/wedding_venue_cancellation_3_months_prior_update/

felxu1

[Tree law and MS paint for your Sunday (Michigan)](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9ka60j/tree_law_and_ms_paint_for_your_sunday_michigan/) [A small treelaw update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9ku9fi/update_mi_a_small_treelaw_update/) [Treelaw in-process update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/aty2xx/treelaw_inprocess_update/) Final update: Victory! [Michigan treelaw case ](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fedw7u/update_michigan_treelaw_case/)

Michigan Tree law Saga

LegalAdvice

jennymccarthykillsba

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/felxu1/michigan_tree_law_saga/

ffffox

[It has been 7 months since we learned that my wife (34F) can’t have kids and she still has not “gotten over” it. I (35M) am seriously considering a divorce.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b1982e/it_has_been_7_months_since_we_learned_that_my/) (I'm not OP) Bit of background info about my wife: She’s an only child and had a rather lonely childhood. So to her, having kids and watching them grow up together is an important issue for her, if not the single most important issue. To make a long story short, 7 months ago we learned that my wife is incapable of having children. Of course both of us were devastated and she ended up leaving her job. For the first month after learning this terrible news, all she did was cry and watch Netflix in bed. I brought her meals in bed, started working from home, and gave her my full support because it was the least I could do. But now it’s 7 months later and she’s still crying and watching Netflix in bed all day. I ask her every day if she needs anything but all I get in response is variations on either “leave me alone” or “some peace and quiet”. Virtually the only times she gets out of bed are when she fixes herself some snacks, uses the bathroom, or takes a shower. I do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I’ve suggested many things to help her recover, including but not limited to: 1. Therapy. She said that all therapists spew BS back at you. 1. Adoption or using a surrogate. She shot down both saying that it just didn’t feel right to her. 1. Moving to her parents’ city. She said moving 100 miles was too much stress. 1. Buying a corgi puppy (corgis are her favorite). She snapped at me saying that a puppy is no substitute for a real human child. 1. Taking her on a weeklong trip to anywhere she chooses. Again, she said that’s too much stress. 1. Earlier tonight I had a talk with my wife. I told her that our relationship is just not sustainable if she continues to act this way and that she needs help. She said that she’s fine and called me an asshole for suggesting that she get help. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife with all my heart. I’m doing my best to help her, but she is refusing that help and in total denial. I know that she'll be devastated if we get a divorce but honestly I cannot bear living like this for much longer. What do (or can) I do?     [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b3m2gk/happy_update_it_has_been_7_months_since_we/) *minor edits The night after I wrote my original post, I wrote my wife a short letter (thank you /u/Witchy_Woman420 for the idea) that went something like this: ​ ​ “Dear [Wife’s name], I love you more than you can imagine and the most I want in this world is for you to be happy. I understand that as a man I probably have no idea how intense the pain that you are feeling is. I’m doing my best to help you but the fact that you won’t help yourself is taking a toll on our marriage. I honestly cannot continue living like this for much longer and our marriage is in jeopardy if you don’t make an effort to get better. However, I want to get over this bump together and start working in the right direction together. I’m ready to talk whenever you are. With all my love, [My name]” ​ ​ I put the letter on top of her laptop and went to bed. The next morning (March 16th), I woke up a bit earlier than usual to fix her a double helping of her favorite breakfast: blueberry pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and fresh squeezed OJ. When I walked into the bedroom with her food, I saw her reading my letter. When she saw me, she put the letter down, got out of bed, threw herself into my arms, and started crying. Full on, Niagara Falls level crying. I hugged her tighter, told her “I love you so, so, much”, and started crying too. I honestly don’t know how long we stood there hugging each other and crying. It could’ve been 10 minutes, it could’ve been an hour, I didn’t care. When she stopped crying, she promised me that she would go to therapy. Reddit, you guys don’t know how thrilled and proud I was when I heard those words. She then asked me if we could go on a trip to Japan because in her words “I really need to leave this fucking house for once and get some fresh air.” I was so fucking proud of her when she took the initiative in planning our trip. She’s always been a methodical, organized person and as she booked the flights and hotels I saw in her eyes the same spark that made me fall in love with her 8 years ago. We just finished packing for the trip and she fell asleep with the faintest of smiles on her face not too long ago. We have a 5AM Uber to catch, a trip to enjoy, and both therapy and dog-shopping sessions lined up when we return. We’re not quite out of the tunnel yet, but we can see the light at the end. **EDIT:** Thank you to everyone who followed my story and offered their well wishes. We'll definitely enjoy ourselves all right. Can't wait for the sightseeing and sashimi! Wife says there will be a surprise during the trip and I'm so excited for what it might be! Wife says adoption is back on the table as well.

It has been 7 months since we learned that my wife can’t have kids and she still has not “gotten over” it. I am seriously considering a divorce.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ffffox/it_has_been_7_months_since_we_learned_that_my/

ffm0x7

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/e8nien/awesome_new_manager_breaks_cycle_with_homeless/) My old manager was a real “working for the weekend” type and never went out of their way for us or the customers, no matter what. One of the most difficult things about her was we had a homeless guy who’d camp out in our back alley because a lot of heat comes off a vent back there and she’d always make us toss him out because he was visible to customers from the main entrance. She’s gone and we have a new manager now. Her first week, one of the employees said “hey that guy’s back” and the new manager said “this guy here often?” and we told her the whole story. She asked what our interactions with him had been like and we told her perfectly pleasant, considering the circumstances. She walks out, shakes the guy’s hand, and offers him a dishwashing job on a trial basis. She had one of the busboys help him get cleaned up and put him right to work. He knocked it out of the park, made good honest money, and got staff dinner. She told him he was welcome to come back to work any night of the week and if he was consistent she’d see about getting him hired. That was two weeks ago, and he started on a permanent basis today! Edit to add: I can’t believe how this post has blown up! I just showed it to him and he was honestly a bit freaked out by the whole thing, but touched by the incredible support and personal stories people shared. He’s been able to move back in with his brother now that he has a job and is saving up all the money he makes here. He’s a month clean and says things are going better now than they have in a long time! He says thanks again. --- [2 Months Later](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromYourServer/comments/f9o3da/update_awesome_new_manager_breaks_cycle_with/) I wanted to update everyone that he is still employed with us and has even been promoted and struck up a mentorship of sorts with one of our chefs who also overcame addiction and housing insecurity. He remains sober, and with the support of his family, should be out of his brother’s house and in his own place within a few more months. He was really inspired by all the comments and messages from the post once I shared it with him and says that while all the attention made him uncomfortable at first, that when things were getting really hard or the road seemed too long and he was considering quitting, revisiting the supportive comments helped him continue to believe in himself. Our awesome manager who hired him is no longer working here, sadly. Family circumstances took her out of town. But our new manager was recommended by her and was on board from day one and continues to be supportive.

Awesome new manager breaks cycle with homeless guy outside

r/TalesFromYourServer

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ffm0x7/awesome_new_manager_breaks_cycle_with_homeless/

ffo0az

[Kid put his stuff in my yard; ran over it with my lawn mower; mom wants me to pay.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fezgu6/kid_put_his_stuff_in_my_yard_ran_over_it_with_my/) So my yard goes pretty close to the neighbor’s concrete pad where they have a basketball court set up. Neighborhood kids always go there to play and usually leave their bikes and things on my grass. It’s not that big of a deal except I have had to ask them to move there stuff several times when I’m mowing. This is the first time I’ve mowed this year and the grass is a few inches higher than it should be. Anyway, a kid comes over and I’m mowing but he still puts the basketball he brought with him down in my grass. I get to the basketball and just decide I can nudge it with the front of the mower and out of the way. I made eye contact with the kid several times waiting for him to move it before I got there and he never did so I figured “whatever, it’ll roll.” Well I bump it with my mower over to a section of mower grass and as I continue forward past where it was there was a loud clunking and crackling like I’d just run over a rock. The rock turned out to be his iPhone. He was upset obviously that his phone was broken and I did feel bad but my thought was that he should’ve said something or moved it before I got there. He goes home and about thirty minutes later his mom shows up and tells me I broke it and am responsible for replacing it, that I should have told him to move his stuff because I am the adult. I tell her I’m sorry about the phone and politely decline her request. She just says “I promise you WILL be paying for it.” And then storms off. I’m not really sure what her next course of action is or what she plans to do. She mentioned something about she has a friend that’s a lawyer, so I guess she could take me to civil court? Am I legally responsible for replacing the phone? Would it be cheaper than court costs if she did choose to take me to court? [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fflk2l/update_kid_put_stuff_in_yard_ran_over_it_with/) Thought I’d update you all since so many people offered advice in the original post yesterday. Brief summary of what happened: Neighborhood kid left his phone in my grass while I was mowing and I mowed it by mistake. The mother got upset and demanded I pay for it. Well she(mother) and son showed up at my door around noon and apologized. She said that she misunderstood what happened and thought that I’d done it on purpose to teach her son a lesson about leaving his stuff in my yard. I guess he explained to her it was his fault which I thought was commendable for someone his age. She told me that she just stressed about it because she is a single mother and doesn’t really have the means to replace it at the moment and that if it was anything else she probably wouldn’t have gotten so upset but he likes hanging out with other kids and that’s how she keeps track of him. I told her about my spare phone (iPhone 7 his was a 6s). I also took the advice of some of the commenters that it might be damaging to just give it to him and that I should perhaps have him work for it. I have a detached garage and have been needing to clean it and told her if he wanted to help me I’d give him the phone. He instantly looked excited, I imagine he felt like he’d never get a new phone, and she acted very grateful and said he could help. Left and came back an hour later, just the son this time and we got started cleaning. Took about 4 hours, a lot of work but nothing too hard (he's just 12) I had a couple cords of firewood I wanted moved out and stacked into a rack and then a bunch of boxes I cut up and had him bag and carry to the curb, he swept, had a coke and a couple slices of pizza then got his phone. I had a talk with him about paying attention to his where his things are because it won’t always work out like this. I also told him if he wants to mow my yard every weekend and his mom says he can I’ll pay him $30 a week. (It will probably take him a couple hours) He again acted excited at the thought of making money and when I asked him what he’d spend it on he said games. We figured out new games would be about $60 and worked it out that I’d pay him $20 for 3 weeks then $65 on the fourth week so he could cover tax because it might be hard for him to save. The fourth week he will do an extra little chore to cover the five bucks, like sweep off the porch or walkway. I hope I’ve done the right thing and didn’t make him think that everything just works out but I did my best to have him earn it. And hopefully showed an equal measure of kindness that he will carry with him. I also didn’t want the mother to stress over replacing the phone as my mom was also a single mother and I know how tough it can be. My own son is just 2 so it was my first real opportunity to pass on some fatherly wisdom, which I hope is what I did. Thanks for your input everyone. I really appreciate it.

The Lawn-Mower, The Cell Phone, and the Single Mom

LegalAdvice

jennymccarthykillsba

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ffo0az/the_lawnmower_the_cell_phone_and_the_single_mom/

ffy4g9

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/f3g5oi/how_would_you_react_to_this_valentines_day_gift/) by u/Nillacuppycake My LDR partner told me he was sending me “a surprise” for Valentine’s Day. I came home yesterday after working 12 hours, checked my mailbox looking for an amazon prime package and was super excited to find an additional package addressed to me. I rushed inside my home to open it and it was one of those “send a bag of d****” gag packages that explodes into d-shaped confetti that gets literally everywhere. I was so exhausted and felt so disrespected as it dawned on me that this must be my so called valentines surprise. It made me feel like he was making fun of my desire to feel special on this day. He is known to do and say spiteful/mean things to make himself feel good at the expense of others but this to me felt like the last straw, going out of his way to make my day harder and laugh at my expense. My question for reddit: how would you react to this situation? My immediate reaction was to let him know how upset I was and cut ties once and for all. It just feels unnecessarily mean and spiteful to belittle your girlfriend’s desire to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’d like to hear your point of view as I’m clearly very upset and saddened by his choices. tl;dr received a “bag of d****” as a Valentine’s Day gift from my LDR who knew I would be saddened and upset upon receiving it.     [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/f51u5s/update_how_would_you_react_to_this_valentines_day/) I wanted to thank everyone that took the time to comment. I made the decision to cut ties with him the following morning and blocked him upon realizing without a doubt that he genuinely enjoyed making me unhappy. I couldn’t rationalize this away the way I previously had other cruel behavior. Visualizing him planning it out, paying for it to be sent and awaiting my reaction for his enjoyment when he could have easily spent the exact same amount of effort sending a card... I let him know that I was aware that he enjoyed making me feel bad and therefore I wanted nothing to do with him. Wish I could say I did it calmly but I’d be lying. I was extremely angry. I can honestly say that in the moment I could physically feel the anger at the pit of my stomach. I told him his nasty attitude and meanness killed the positive feelings I had for him and no longer was in love with him which remains completely true a week later. I may miss him here and there simply bc I was used to talking to him daily but I feel no love toward him at all. Your comments have helped me tremendously in following through and deleting him from my life. You’d imagine it would be easy and a no brainer after his behavior but I loved him and the void that was left hurts but is lessened immensely when I go back and read (and re-read!) the comments you guys left which empower me to know this is a necessary step to take. Any time I have a thought of missing him I re read your comments and it brings me right back to reality. Thank you!

How would you react to this Valentine’s Day gift?

r/datingoverthirty

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ffy4g9/how_would_you_react_to_this_valentines_day_gift/

fg5rjd

[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskLGBT/comments/f82p00/desperate_for_advice_about_my_son/) by u/throwawayoftheday88 First, for a little background I need to tell you about myself. I look like a biker, long hair, loads of tattoos, spent too much time in the gym. I was in martial as classes five hours a day, five days a week from the time I was 4 until I was 16. Needless to say that guided my early career path, boxing, pro wrestling, MMA, bouncer, bodyguard, law enforcement. If there was a job that probably required you to punch another person m the face, I probably did it. I hit every alpha male check point. Then there is my son, let's call him Ronnie. He has every trait I know I'm lacking. It's like he broke down every aspect of my personality, took the absolute best parts, and threw away the rest. He's a musician, a wonderful artist, caring, compassionate, brilliant and driven. He wants to be an engineer, to design functional and visually convincing prosthetic limbs. I love him because he's my son, I am proud of him because of who he has grown into. What's the problem you may ask? He's been hiding that he's gay from me for years. I've known a very long time, and I could not possibly care less. Is there anything I can say that would make it easier for him to be open with me? If you were worried about coming out to a parent, is there anything that they could have said or done to put your mind at ease? I've seen him with his boyfriend, they seem happy together. I'd like to meet the young man that's made my boy so happy.     [**Three Days Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskLGBT/comments/f9mu5r/desperate_for_advice_about_my_son_the_update/) Wow, his has taken some wild turns. I came here hoping for a little advice, and didn't even really expect much of a response. Then someone reposted on Twitter, and I will be forever grateful. It exploded, thousands of reposts, tens of thousands of likes. It was commented on in several languages. It spread far enough and wide enough that my son did in fact read it. This morning I got a text "Sneak Level 0 Dad, and your Anon needs work." The rest of the day has been well...heart warming and hilarious. Apparently there are only so many guys out there that used to be pro wrestlers and law enforcement that have a gay son that wants to build prosthetics. I tried to explain that I didn't know it would blow up, and was informed that no one plans to go even slightly viral, and the people that are obviously trying don't. I was also informed that some people make a big deal out of coming out, and some don't. This is not what I had been lead to believe. He also didn't think it was necessary to come straight out and say "Dad I'm gay," for the same reason he didn't need to inform me the sky was blue and water was wet, these are things I already knew. Now, on to what I didn't know. His poor little boyfriend is absolutely terrified of me. He's a tiny little wisp of a boy and I am apparently intimidating. This is something I'm not 100% sure on how to deal with, but we have both agreed to try to work on it. I want him to know my home is a safe space. I have been teased pretty much all day. At one point he slipped into the hall closet and jumped out with "Taadaa". I've also been advised I should probably stay active in these communities, and I'm going to take that advice. So, a happy ending, or start, or continuation depending on how you look at it. Thank you to the people that spread my message all the way to my son. Thank you to all the good people on Reddit and Twitter that had kind words and advice.

Desperate for advice about my son

r/AskLGBT

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fg5rjd/desperate_for_advice_about_my_son/

fghjcg

I had been going out with my asian GF for about 6 months when I started sneaking into her room and making out with her. I'm white, and we were 16. Some nights, because it was summer, I would stay all night. We would talk, and make out, and then I would jump out the window around 5am. One night we heard her dad coming down, so I jumped across the hall into her brother's room (he was not living there any more) and I jumped into the closet. I heard her dad go through her room, then when the lights came on in my room I knew I was fucked. He opened the closet and I was sitting there looking up at him. He said "you get out". I did. Thank god I put my clothes back on. I left and snuck around back of her house. I could see the parents yelling at my GF as she cried. It was the first time I met her parents because I was a secret. The secret was out.     **4 Years Later** *minor edits I proposed in Hawaii 2.5 years ago. She said yes. But her parents basically said it wasn't going to happen. So we kind of posponed it. But we moved in together and her parents started hinting for us to get married about 6 months ago. I asked her dad for permission back then, but didn't ask her mom. Haha I learned a lesson on that one. :) we still giggle like we are 16. We are deeply in love with each other and devoted to making the other happy.   **Update** We married December 2013, and had a beautiful daughter in February of 2016. Her family is the best, and we have never spoken about that night. I still cringe a bit reading some of my replies, but I'm glad if it helps anyone. Us on our NY trip http://imgur.com/tfbxX   *[Originally posted by](https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/un9e6/i_was_found_in_the_closet_of_my_asian_gfs_parents/) by u/Three-Donkeys*

I was found in the closet of my asian GFs parents house

r/AsianParentStories

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fghjcg/i_was_found_in_the_closet_of_my_asian_gfs_parents/

fgo4kz

Finally ready to start taking steps to combat my depression...starting with cleaning my nest https://i.redd.it/846qzftetfj41.jpg     [**10 Days Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/NeckbeardNests/comments/ffiu3g/update_thanks_to_the_overwhelming_support_from/) I thought I'd be judged and shamed into action but... thanks to the overwhelming support from this absolutely wonderful community I found the motivation to clean up my nest. Quite proud of the result! edit: Somebody gave this platinum - I dont want to do the whole "thank u kind stranger!!1!!" thing but I hope you know your small act of kindness has made a very difficult day a little bit nicer for me :) https://i.redd.it/ewegnvutgil41.jpg   *[Link to Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/NeckbeardNests/comments/fa9qj0/finally_ready_to_start_taking_steps_to_combat_my/) in r/NeckbeardNests*

Finally cleaning my neckbeard nest

r/NeckbeardNests

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fgo4kz/finally_cleaning_my_neckbeard_nest/

fh0uqc

[WIBTA if I still give my stepson the birthday gift I bought for him despite his mother asking me to hold it off for a month because she knows my gift my upstage hers and she wants to see him enjoy her gift first?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cyadgx/wibta_if_i_still_give_my_stepson_the_birthday/) (WIBTA = Will I be the Asshole)   My husband Joe and I have been married for a few years. He has a teenage son, Jack, with his ex-wife Kim. Joe and I have a great relationship with Jack, who lives with us half of the time, and we are civil with Kim. For a couple of years now, Jack has been into a sport that I am also into, and last year he decided to train in that sport seriously. He has been doing very well so as a reward and to encourage him further I decided that for his birthday this month, I would buy him an important ‘equipment’ used in our sport. He has always wanted to own one himself and if things go well it will be with him for the next ten years so I know he will be very happy with it. Yesterday Kim called me and told me what gift she will be getting Jack (we do this now to avoid getting him the same gift, which has happened before). I told her that I got Jack the equipment for our sport. She was quiet for a while and then asked me if I could get another gift for Jack’s birthday and just give him the equipment in October. Kim said that she knows Jack will absolutely love my gift, so if he gets my gift and her gift at the same time, her gift will be upstaged by mine and all of Jack’s attention will be on my gift. She said she has been saving for Jack’s gift for a while so she would like to see him be happy and thrilled about her gift, and that is not likely to happen if Jack receives our gifts at the same time. I understand where Kim is coming from, but to me it doesn't seem right to treat giving gifts to Jack as a competition for his attention or affections that we have to resort to ‘taking turns’. Why can’t we both give him our gifts and make him as happy as he could be on his birthday, a day that it supposed to be about him and not about us?     [**A Month Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/de46pf/update_wibta_if_i_still_give_my_stepson_the/) Jack celebrated his birthday in September, and as many of you suggested, I told him that I'm sorry but my gift for him was shipped late and would be arriving in two weeks. That way it didn't look like Kim made me do it, and the two of them had time to enjoy Kim's gift. Kim thanked me for understanding her situation and said she is grateful that I was gracious about her request even though we don't have the best relationship. It's flattering to read that so many of you think that Joe and I are good people, but of course we aren't perfect and it took a lot of time for us to be in a civil place with Kim. It was humbling for Kim to ask me what she did and it also took a lot for me to let her have it. Hopefully this is the beginning of a better relationship for the three of us. For those who are asking, I didn't put a lot of specific details in my post because I wanted to minimize the risk of being identified by someone I know in real life who might also be participating in this forum. But since a commenter in my original post already figured it out, yes, I bought Jack a horse. My family has a horse farm so 'where can you hide a horse for two weeks' is thankfully not a problem. Jack already met his new partner last week and he is very happy with him! Thank you all for your comments and I wish everyone the best. *Originally posted by u/bayhanoverians*

'Should' I still give my stepson the birthday gift I bought for him despite his mother asking me to hold it off?

AITA

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fh0uqc/should_i_still_give_my_stepson_the_birthday_gift/

fh752y

I talked a teen jumper down from the rail on the bridge 4 1/2 years ago. Today I found him working in a sit-in coffee shop I was trying out since I moved. I almost didn't recognize him. He grew a few inches, cut and dyed his hair, and lost some weight. I didn't want to put him a stressful situation, so I just left him alone. He left a thank-you note on my receipt. It said: "Thank you for saving my life. You have no idea how much I think about you and what you did." I honestly wonder if I should initiate conversation. I fear it may harm him. Edit: I'm going to say hello on Wednesday when I go back. Here's to hoping it works out. I appreciate the advice and kind words. The vast amounts of Remind Me's will help me remember to update.   **Comment:** iirc [I said] something along the lines of: "Buddy, what'r you doing?" -He was crying. That is what attracted me to his location- Through the sobs, he said some personal stuff I won't repeat. I asked why was going to use a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I asked him who would be sad about his death. I was pretty much rambling, I didn't even know what to say. I was just talking out my ass. He stepped off, stared at my face for a minute, and walked away. I tried to follow him, but he went into the subway and disappeared.   **Update:** I went back and he was there. We had a short conversation. He was ecstatic that I returned and was glad I was back before he had to return to his mother's home to take care of her, for she had Alzheimer's. He was leaving on a flight on Saturday and wasn't going to return. I have his phone number and an email to contact him with. He asked me if I made this post. Apparently he is one of us.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/f5id00/i_talked_a_teen_jumper_down_from_the_rail_on_the/) by u/CantMatchTheThatch *minor edits*

I talked a teen jumper down from the rail on the bridge 4 1/2 years ago

r/CasualConversation

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fh752y/i_talked_a_teen_jumper_down_from_the_rail_on_the/

fhj7dz

Not sure what to do. Earlier today my neighbor came pounding on my door screaming obscenities and shouting at me. When I finally got him to stop yelling I found out that he was flying his drone in my backyard again and this time my dog finally managed to catch it and destroy it. He claims this was a $900 drone and I had to pay him right then and there. I refused and closed the door in his face. A couple hours later police showed up to retrieve the drone; it was still in my yard, but my dog completely ignored it once it stopped buzzing; and ask about the situation. The said neighbor called them stating that I refused him access to my yard to get it. That's not true, he never asked. I'm worried the neighbor will try to press charges against me for destruction of property or sue me. Will he have any legal standing if this does go to court? He has a history of flying his drone low over my yard to tease my dog. I have asked him to stop several times, which he always refuses telling me that I don't own the air above my yard. I have called the police to complain once before, he was doing "fly bys" over my dog and getting very close to hitting him. The police didn't say he couldn't fly it in my yard but did ask him to stop doing so in order to avoid conflict. That only seemed to egg him on.     [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5wgevt/update_dog_ate_neighbors_drone/) I was served a summons by a Sheriff's Deputy, neighbor decided to take me to Small Claims over his drone. My MIL is a paralegal secretary, so I was able to get a free consultation with a lawyer where she works to ask some questions about what to bring and how to prepare. He seemed genuinely amused that my neighbor was even trying to sue. He also suggested I counter sue and how I could possibly add in more damages. He also told me that my neighbor and I technically live within 5 miles of an airport, and even though it doesn't have a tower technically that falls under FAA regulations. I called the hotline from google and spoke to them about my neighbor's hobby of flying out of line of sight, flying several thousand feet in the air, flying near an airport and made an inquiry into if he was registered to fly drones, saying he owned two very large drones (he already bought a new one, this one is almost 5' across). I don't know the weight of his, but it definitely is at least a few pounds. They took my information and have called me back once, so I know they're investigating but don't know anything else. Not sure if they'll tell me anything anyways. I brought both police reports to court, as well as several photos of my backyard, photos of our shared 8' high privacy fence, medical bills for my dog, and a few short videos I had of him doing fly bys over my dog in the past. His main argument to the judge was that I "maliciously installed a table to allow my dog to jump high enough to catch his drone, which I (somehow) trained him to do". Which, yes I had recently bought a new picnic table, but only so I have somewhere to sit and eat outside. I argued that his flying was causing my dog anxiety and that's what provoked it, and thanks to y'alls advice, that my dog could have potentially died from ingesting part of the drone or if the drone hit him. In the end, he now has to pay me just under $2,000 for various vet bills (xrays, dental exams, sedation, medication etc). He is also banned from flying over my property, and I installed trail cams front and back yards just in case. He seems pretty upset with me, so I wanted to be careful. The only thing that could make this better is if the FAA finds a reason to fine him or take away his drones.   **Comment:** Pictures of my dog?! [Always](http://imgur.com/a/ZnLZn)   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5wgevt/update_dog_ate_neighbors_drone/) by u/DeadDrone999*

Dog ate my Neighbor's Drone, police showed up

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fhj7dz/dog_ate_my_neighbors_drone_police_showed_up/

fhqgzd

I've got a tenant that has been perpetually late on rent, despite me having multiple conversations with him. We are 9 months into a year-long lease, and each month has been between 4 to 22 days late. However, he has always (eventually) paid and covered the late fees. Usually he communicates with me. This month, he stopped responding to my text messages and has not paid the rent yet. I knocked on his door and we had a chat. He told me that he was laid off last week and doesn't anticipate being able to pay the rent for another couple weeks, if he lands a new job. He apologized for going dark on me... but that's just not ok. I'm not sure how to proceed, especially since he has a couple kids in the house as well. Unfortunately, this is a business for me, not a charity. How would you proceed here?     [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/realestateinvesting/comments/faj0ip/update_found_out_tenant_was_laid_off_work/) *Context: About a month ago, I posted in this sub about my tenant losing his job and falling behind on rent. Responses to that post ran the gamut from "have a heart, you bastard" to "kick his ass out yesterday." When I see posts like that one, I usually wonder how the landlord actually handled it, and what the outcome was. I'm here with an update, which is by no means me telling you what to do. It's simply how I chose to proceed and the results.*   After my previous post, I called Mr. Tenant and asked him if I could buy him a beer. He agreed to meet me at a local bar. I filled out and printed a Notice to Quit, leaving the date blank, and brought it along with me. I started by thanking him for meeting me and explaining that I'm not trying to be a jerk, but this is a business and my livelihood. I asked about his job prospects and whether he had considered finding another place to move, since my rental was too expensive for him to handle comfortably. He shared that he had just completed a second interview and hoped to hear back in a couple days. Additionally, his girlfriend had also accepted a new position. Their income prospects were looking up. He also told me that he was now getting joint custody of kids, after a bitter divorce from last year, so they would need more space. I offered to help with the search, because I know other landlords around town. He told me that he and his girlfriend should have paychecks in the next 2-3 weeks, and that he would pay as much as he could when those came in. Additionally, they expected tax returns by the end of February, and would pay everything current, including late fees. I decided to give this a chance to work. I explained the Notice to Quit to him, and I wrote in 2/15/20 as the date I would begin the eviction process, if he had not paid at least a full month's rent (he was past due for Jan and Feb). He agreed, signed the document, and thanked me for working with him. The next day, I called around to see if any of my contacts had a 3-bed house available. One did, so I explained the situation to him. He is more comfortable dealing with the "edge cases," so he agreed to let them move in, once they had proven they could get current with me. We set the tentative move date for 3/15. Mr. Tenant texted me to confirm he had been hired at the new job. Two weeks later, I got a payment for January rent + late fees! Today, I got the remaining payment for February rent + late fees and an unpaid pet fee!! They're now paid completely current, and they're going to be moving into a less-expensive 3-bedroom house just down the street. I'm so happy with the way things turned out. I recognize that I took additional risk by being patient with them, but it has definitely paid off in more ways than one. **TL/DR** - I decided to be patient and work with a tenant, who had fallen on hard times, and was two months behind on rent. The situation worked out well for everybody, and I've now been paid in full.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/realestateinvesting/comments/erjrqa/just_learned_tenant_was_laid_off_work/) by u/LoopholeTravel*

Just learned tenant was laid off work

r/realestateinvesting

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fhqgzd/just_learned_tenant_was_laid_off_work/

fi3kfr

*mod note: Since it's Friday the 13th thought I'd post something a little different.*   This is the first time I’m actually writing about this. So when I was 13, my older brother (18) and I were on our way to a movie when we were hit by a drunk driver. I woke up in hospital 4 days later, having lost my right leg and other leg in cast along with other injuries. That night I woke up to my my brother sitting by my bed telling me everything will be okay and to go back to sleep. Next day parents came to visit and see how I was doing. I asked why my brother wasn’t with them and they looked at each other but didn’t say anything. That night I again woke up to brother sitting by my bed again telling me he knows I can get through this and I need to be strong and overcome this and not let my injuries stop me from living life. We talked a bit, him not answering specific questions but answering more general questions. Remember asking him why he was still wearing clothes from yesterday because that was very unlike him to wear anything similar to what he wore the day before. He didn’t answer that but when asked how he was he said better than he thought he would be given the circumstances. He reminded me to be strong and keep living and not let anything stop me and how much he love me before telling me I should get some more sleep. That next day parents again came to visit me in hospital and I again asked why brother wasn’t with them and they again looked at each other and it was only after I said that I would like family visit together and not at different times and would like brother to visit during day when we can talk more, instead of at night that my dad asked what I meant and I told him Andy had been coming at night to visit. My mom broke down and left the room. My dad then told me that was impossible because Andy died in the accident instantly. I didn’t believe it and argued it and ended up having to be sedated. That night I had no visit and next day parents brought newspaper article about the accident. Years later my fiancée had an experience and having never seen a photo of my brother, she described him to a t and what he was wearing. That is a story for another time, but it was nice knowing brother is still around and looking out for me and those I love.     [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thetruthishere/comments/f0w2au/brother_visited_my_fianc%C3%A9e_continuation_of_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Since people asked on my last post, I got permission from my fiancée to share this. Some thing to note before getting into what happened. My brother died when I was 13 and we were both in a car accident. My fiancée never met my brother. Never seen photos of him before this. My fiancée is bipolar, extreme highs and extreme lows. We had been dating for 4 months at the time and just moved in together. I didn’t know at the time but she had gone off her meds. This all happened while I was at work and she told me about it later. She went out for a walk to get some air because she was feeling really claustrophobic, the start of a manic/depressive episode. It got to the point she thought dying would be the best option and standing at corner she thought the best idea would be to just walk into traffic. As she took a step off the curb, someone grabbed her and pulled her back and turned her around into a hug. Arms wrapped around her telling her she doesn’t truly want to do this, that everything will be okay, that she is stronger than she realizes and it isn’t her time. Told her to just breathe nice slow deep breathes. She looked up at him and said thanks. Turned around to wiped her eyes and when she turned back the person was gone. She told me about this when I got off work and she wanted to put up a post online to see if she could find the guy to say a proper thank you for his help and saving her. It was when she started saying what he told her and describing him that my heart started beating fast. I knew who helped her. She described him as being 17-18, athletic, slightly taller than her, dark brown shaggy hair, big freckle/birth mark under his eye with a blue shirt that said J.S. Jenks in yellow letters. It brought be back to the visits I got in the hospital. The shirt my brother wore on the day of the accident and when I saw him by my hospital bed. I told her I know who helped her and I can’t explain it. I told her it was my brother and she said it was impossible. It was a real person. She got mad at me for suggesting it because she never believed in ghosts or spirits or anything like that. Very sceptic. I asked her to please trust me and that night we drove to my parents house and I went into the basement and found a picture of my brother and asked if that was who helped her and her face went pale and kept asking how it was possible. I had no idea what to say because I didn’t know either but told her how he came to me in my time of need and looks like he came to her in her time of need. Still crazy to think about and definitely can’t explain it.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Thetruthishere/comments/f0m8vp/i_had_conversations_with_my_brother_before_i/) by u/mortismalum*

I had conversations with my brother before I found out he died week before

r/Thetruthishere

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fi3kfr/i_had_conversations_with_my_brother_before_i/

filgs9

Yesterday I ate the ends of a chicken wing. Someone told me the ends were crunchy, like pork crackling, so I tried it out. I never expected this to happen. I must not have chewed one properly. I got something lodged in my throat. To dislodge it I ate some bread and drank some softdrink. Some pain persisted but I went to sleep last night hoping it'd be fine in the morning. This morning I woke with tremendous pain in my throat and chest. I walked to the public hospital down the road because I was starting to worry. The GP noticed I had a "crunchy throat" when pressing on it. He immediately sent me off to get an Xray. That showed I have a perforated esophagus. That is, the tube from my mouth to my stomach has been punctured. The "crunchy" feeling was air that had shifted into parts of my neck it shouldn't be. To get more information I started reading a journal on the condition and how to treat it. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3219576/ They consider it a critical medical condition with a 20% chance of mortality. It's so rare that its incedent rate is 3.1/1 million people. A few random doctors even asked if they could feel my neck to experience the crunchy feeling. They said they'd read about it in textbooks, but you never see it. Now I'm waiting on the results of the CT Scan which will determine whether I get surgery or just have to fast for a few days while my body fixes it. If I'd waited over 24hrs there would be a much higher risk. TL;DR: I ate the ends off a chicken wing and now I'm in hospital with a critical condition with a 20% mortality rate.   **Update:** A surgeon just spoke to me. I have to be nil-by-mouth for 7 days to help my body heal the holes in the throat and chest areas of my esophagus. They don't expect me to need surgery so that's a plus. **Update 2:** The main surgeon just spoke to me. I'll be here at least 7 days, even if the pain goes away. The critical problem is non-sterile air has passed through the hole and entered a vulnerable area that must be sterile. So I can't eat or drink to reduce the risk of that area getting infected and I need to wait until the air is absorbed by the tissue. **Update 3:** I had a tube pushed into my arm, through a vein, all the way to the top of my heart. It's called a PICC. It's how I'll be eating and drinking over the next week. **Update 4:** I'm out now and everything seems to be fine! **Comment:** They removed the PICC the day I left. I felt strange about a long tube getting pulled out of me so the nurse said "We'll first have a test run then I'll remove it on the second try" but she removed it immediately so I didn't even notice it. I thought that was brilliant. I can eat whatever I want now! But I have mostly stuck to softer foods because I'm still a little paranoid about swallowing hard food [and] eating crunchy things. The only issue I have, which is nothing to worry about, is when drinking out of a water tap at that angle I feel a similar irritation in my throat that I felt after dislodging the bone.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/dsqe3i/tifu_by_eating_the_ends_off_a_chicken_wing/) by u/ALLIRIX minor edits*

I ate the ends off a chicken wing and now I'm in the hospital with a 20% mortality rate

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/filgs9/i_ate_the_ends_off_a_chicken_wing_and_now_im_in/

fj14la

Congratulations, /r/BestofRedditorUpdates! You are Tiny Subreddit of the Day!

TSROTDroid

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fj14la/congratulations_rbestofredditorupdates_you_are/

fj4bah

My girlfriend (who my dad has never met until now) and I decided it would be a fun to do a Harry Potter drinking game except we watch all 8 movies, totalling 20 hours. We were drinking spirits with mixers, the first time I’ve ever drunk spirits. Holy shit you wouldn’t believe how many times people say Harry Potter. After just one movie we are half a bottle of Vodka and 3/4 a bottle of Gin down. Now is probably a good time to mention I’m an absolute lightweight, which is very impressive for a 6’6” male. Naturally we are drunk and decide having sex is a good idea so we proceed to do that, then grab a shower. At this point both of us are properly wasted and no longer in control of our actions. Somehow my girlfriend leaves the shower and turns it off, while I stay there, lying down, vomiting into the grate. After an hour I manage to get up, slouch to my room, vomit some more on the carpet, pass my naked girlfriend on the floor, check her pulse, and finally crash out on my bed. I wake up to my dad opening my window, Ive slept for 5 hours at this point. He starts pushing me awake, he simply asks if we are on any other drugs, need an ambulance, etc. He then tells me to make sure my girlfriend is still alive, he leaves and says to call him in 10 minutes. I get up to see my naked girlfriend still lying on the floor, and 3 pools of vomit on the carpet, I wake her up, bring her to my room and lie her down on my bed. After calling and saying she is alive, my dad tells me to clean the place up and call him back. The place is now clean and I’m dreading this call. TL;DR Me and my girlfriend got blackout drunk at my house, vomited everywhere and my dads first time meeting her was seeing her fully naked on his floor surrounded by vomit.     **UPDATE:** A few things to clarify, it isn’t ‘my house’ as I mistakenly put it, it’s my dads house that I live in. He was supposed to be staying at his girlfriends place that night but forgot his laptop and had to come home for it. I am 17 and so is my girlfriend. Another thing to add, I absolutely understand how irresponsible and stupid this was, a mistake like this will not be made again. I will also be insisting to pay for the carpets and whole house to be professionally cleaned. Now to give context to my dads actions so he doesn’t just seem like a loose father who doesn’t care, this is highly out of the norm for me, in general I am highly trustworthy, responsible and mature. He knows how much I regret this and that I had already learnt the lesson well and truly. Now, to continue the story; I give him a call, he asks how both me and my girlfriend are, he also asks if my girlfriend will be able to make it home to her parents house however it’s evident that she cannot. The real juicy part of this is that the next day, (day after all the vomiting), me and her are going to visit my mum and cousins for lunch to introduce each other. Luckily my dad does not feel the need to tell my mum, rather telling us to sober up the best we can and get a good sleep. After a decent night sleep dad comes back over to find us cleaning the house some more, I introduce him to my gf, once again he is the best father I could ask for, remains chill and most importantly un awkward, even making jokes about the whole situation. We start the 1 hour journey to my mums mostly feeling ok, just a little tired and in my case a little sick to the stomach. This journey includes a windy bus ride and a ferry, what more could I ask for to relax my stomach. Now the good news is the lunch went very smoothly, mum was none the wiser, loves my new girlfriend, and the feelings are mutual.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/eabaht/tifu_by_letting_my_dad_came_home_to_see_vomit/) by u/JohnFKennedy--*

my dad came home to see vomit everywhere and my girlfriend blackout drunk and naked on the floor

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fj4bah/my_dad_came_home_to_see_vomit_everywhere_and_my/

fjbovg

My cousin, 21M, lets call him Chay, is an alcoholic in denial. Pre-21 he got a DUI which I thought would solve things, but it hasn't. Apparently, in Texas, DUI standards and penalties are completely different for people under 21. It's crazy, but I digress. After the DUI Chay wrecked his car. Luckily, it was in just on a curb and nobody was injured. But, without a doubt, alcohol was involved. Still, Chay drinks and drives several times a week. Chay's mom is an enabler, paying for his car. She wants him to stop this behavior but for a complexity of reasons won't take the car away. So, Chay is out there, armed and selfishly ready to kill any of you at any moment. I'm sick of it and I want it to stop. I've gotten Chay's mom to agree to installing an interlock device, which is basically a breathalyzer to drive system, but we haven't been able to find where to get one / how to do it. I've called around and people say you need a court order. Is this true? If not, how can we get this system on and where? What other ideas do you have to putting a stop to the drinking and driving? I have a family, work, and responsibilities, so I can't follow him around 24/7 and call the cops every single time he drives. So, what else can I do to alert authorities or stop this? The issue is escalating, a DUI, a wreck, death is next and we all know it. I'd appreciate any suggestions. I'll do anything that won't land me in jail. This has to stop.   **Edit:** Nobody answered at SmartStart. But, I got through with LifeSafer. For anyone who may want use of this service here is the skinny with them: They have a voluntary program. You pay 90 days at a time. They have a basic device, one with a camera so you can see who blows and one with a camera and gps tracking. I told his mother and she's making an appointment to get one of these. Thanks for the help and the life saving, reddit!     [**5 years later**](https://old.reddit.com/r/Dallas/comments/fhnclt/update_how_can_i_stop_my_drunk_cousin_from/) Hello everyone. It's been a long time since my original post but in case any of you remembered, I wanted to give an update. People often give advice but it is rarely taken. In this case, your advice was taken. Long story short, right after the post Chay lied to his mom and came home drunk driving. Because of the thread, I had pre-loaded her with the information everyone helped me with on the voluntarily ignition lock system. In a rage, she booked an immediate installation and before my cousin was awake it was installed. Absolutely no drunk driving could happen. Shortly after, in a turn of events, he had a child and got his life together in a way people really wouldn't believe. It's been 5 years and a kid and marriage later, he's a different, responsible, hard working, person. People change AND people listen to advice. Who would have thought it? Thanks /r/Dallas - My cousin is no longer driving drunk! And, to any of you in the same situation, that voluntary ignition interlock thing is AWESOME. He couldn't even go to work the next day if he drank the night before. The embarrassment and the rest really has the potential to work!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Dallas/comments/2bxr98/how_can_i_stop_my_drunk_cousin_from_driving/) by u/drunkcousin*

How can I stop my drunk cousin from driving?

r/Dallas

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fjbovg/how_can_i_stop_my_drunk_cousin_from_driving/

fjnv4y

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, together for 6. She's always been one of the most amazing people I've ever met. No huge fights, love languages match up, and we're both fairly active people which has been why we've always had a really strong relationship for so long. That's why this is so difficult for me. We've both been doing pretty well in our careers the last few years. She's in marketing and I work independently as an IT consultant, allowing me to set my own hours and be pretty flexible. We decided last year that we wanted to start a family, her most likely keeping her job full time and me scaling back to part time. We've both been anxious but pretty excited to have our own kids. Long story short, I was diagnosed with azoospermia last December. Blockage in the pipes just meant I wasn't actually producing any sperm when ejaculating. It's curable with surgery thankfully, and we finally got it scheduled this July. She's got a high sex drive as do I, so we've still been very sexually active, but there should've been no way I could have gotten her pregnant. She missed her period this week. I couldn't imagine that she might actually be pregnant, right? The babies are bottled in until they get the blockage out. She took three tests though, and sure enough they're all positive. At first I was stunned, because this shouldn't be possible. She's never been unfaithful to me in the past and never given me a reason not to trust her. I'm not the jealous type, but I'm literally stuck. The doctors said this couldn't happen. And I can't believe my wife would jeopardize the future we've been so excited for over some fling when we seem to have such a great emotional and physical connection. My wife's been ecstatic. She's given no indication of any guilt or worry that she may have cheated. She was so excited when she first found out that I didn't express my worries then. But she left for work and now I feel completely torn. What if she did cheat? Looking back now there's a few tiny things that didn't seem to be an issue but now have me wracking my brain for clues. Her job often has her taking clients out for dinner and it's not uncommon for her to get back later in the evening. She definitely had a busy last few months, but that's not uncommon for her job. She always wears one of the same two perfumes, but she came back one night smelling completely different. I remember seeing a text message on her lock screen of just a winky face, a different time, but assumed it was one of her girlfriends. Fuck man I don't know what to do. I set up an appointment on Monday to see if there's any chance it could be mine. If it is mine and I accuse her of cheating I feel like the world's biggest asshole. But she's coming home in a few hours and I don't know what I'm going to say to her, I can't stop thinking of these small things that may have been her cheating and I just didn't see it. Do I wait until the doctor appointment Monday before talking to her, or do bring up these insecurities while she's celebrating the pregnancy? I'm worried I won't be able to hide what's going on. **TL;DR:** Wife and I tried having a baby. My balls are blocked, surgery is in July. Wife got pregnant anyways. It seems ridiculous to think she cheated, but I was told I shouldn't be able to be fertile until the surgery. Wife is celebrating, I can't stop thinking about small occurrences and what if she's cheating. Seeing Doctor on Monday to see if it could be mine. Want to wait until Monday, but don't think I can hide it. What do I tell her? Edit: I should add I've been cheated on before. Our relationship has been pretty healthy, but that old fear is creeping back in now. I'm not sure how to just wait until the appointment. Edit I really hope yall are right that some freak sperm made it past. My wife's coming home though in an hour and I have to decide if I'm going to put on a happy face until Monday or not.   [**UPDATE #1**](https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/c225le/update_wifef33_and_i_m34_decided_to_try_for_kids/) I took a lot of what you guys said to heart. I had an ex of mine from years ago end up cheating on me, and it really left a scar for a while. It wasn't until I got more involved with sports and getting in better shape that I was able to try and move on. My wife and I actually met in a soccer league we were in together. We've had so much trust for so long that I thought those fears had gone away. It wasn't until now that I really started to feel shaken like that again. But I didn't want to let my past get in the way of what could be just a huge blessing. A few people really articulated the right way to communicate my feelings in a way that wasn't accusatory and respectful of my wife, who's never really given me a reason to doubt her. It's not uncommon for her to sometimes be home late, and she'll usually like to go straight to bed. I didn't want to dump this on her immediately and decided to give myself a night to sleep on it. I got up pretty early just being restless, went for a run, and cleared my mind. I couldn't wait any longer. I made our favorite omelets, and told her I needed to talk about something. "You know I'm not Ashley, right?" She knows me well. Ashley's my ex who cheated. So first I apologized. I apologized because I let this build up in my head for so long without talking with her about it sooner. What should be blessing has been nothing but insecurity and fear for me. We talked for a while. I told her how happy it made me to see her ecstatic and excited for the baby. I told her how much I loved the relationship that we've built together, and I felt like an asshole for questioning her loyalty. She had never given me a reason not to trust her and that I still couldn't emotionally get over the thoughts of infidelity because of my ex. She thanked me for telling her, and she knew how hard it was for me to get over that. She volunteered to have us get a paternity right when he/she's born, which made me feel a lot better at first. But something still felt off. I honestly don't know why, something about how she was so eager to get a paternity test, and almost not mad at me at all for having kept this from her. Normally she would have been upset that I didn't bring it up right away, but there was just a weird feeling I couldn't shake for the rest of the day. It seemed like she was saying all the right things, but I couldn't get rid of this clawing feeling inside my head. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe there's a gut feeling that I need to listen to. But I ended up going to the appointment alone, as we "decided" it would good to see if I still needed the surgery. Turns out it's obstructive azoospermia. I've read so many stories about people who were supposed to infertile end up getting pregnant. So I brought that up, and how my wife's pregnancy was affecting me. The urologist thought it would be pretty unlikely that I wouldn't need surgery to have a kid with how mine was presenting itself. He mainly tried to skirt around the topic, and mostly pushed me towards making sure she was actually pregnant. Being there didn't really help. I feel like I just got more uncertainty. She had another night being out to 8:30 last night. We talked about scheduling an appointment to verify the pregnancy when she got home. She seemed a little confused, but then quickly agreed. She promised to do it in the morning. I asked how work had gone, and she gave me a kind of non-commital answer about her boss pushing her too much and being stressed out. There's nothing huge there, but she just seemed off. I really couldn't put my finger on it. We were still acting all lovely-dovey, but something just felt wrong, and I couldn't talk about it without repeating the same conversation we had Sunday. I've been trying to throw myself into work to distract myself, but I haven't been able to focus. We have a joint checking account that we'll sometimes move money in and out of, but really only use it for groceries or household items unless we talk about it beforehand. This morning she moved half of it to hers, about $1700. We don't do that, she's never needed to before. And I checked our health care portal, and she made the appointment for the one time Thursday that I mentioned I was busy working on-site. We were supposed to go together. I'm starting to go crazy. How do I bring this up that isn't me just having the same conversation again? I'm looking into getting a second opinion for myself. But I need a litmus test from objective outsiders to know if I'm really losing it or if this seems weird to someone else. UPDATE: I went for a long run to clear my mind. Gotta shower, and then my wife should be home. I'm going to go into the conversation with no judgement, just objectively walk out the facts and why I've still been struggling personally with some of them. Regardless of what happens I'm done with any confusion left between us.   [**UPDATE #2**](https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/c225le/update_wifef33_and_i_m34_decided_to_try_for_kids/) Anyways, we finally sat down after she got home last night. I told her everything that was going on. The Urologist, the money, the upcoming appointment. I told her how, even with all her reassurances, too many suspect things kept happening. She agreed how everything looked, and immediately apologized. She didn't realize how much my last exs cheating was still affecting me. She knew I was off going into the weekend, but thought we addressed that. We talked about it Sunday, but I can get pretty internal with all these worries and not show them outwardly. And so while she had thought we were communicating, I wasn't. We decided to start from the beginning and go through everything together. The money was the real problem for me. She agreed how inconsiderate it was with where my head was at to do that without mentioning it. Apparently the prenatal visits are so structured that they want you to set up a payment plan with them right away, and she wanted to make sure it was squared away to keep the appointment. She offered without me prompting to call them with me tomorrow to verify that, or if I really wanted we could move the money back. She does get better rewards out of hers so it kind of made sense. We read up on obstructive azoospermia, and it doesn't seem like they're often invincible forcefields. It seems like only the actual absence of the vas deferens (CBAVD) actually guarantees complete infertility, so it is possible for some to get through. We're going to go back to the original specialist I was working with last year and hopefully get a clearer picture. It turns out the appointment she made was the only time they had available so soon, and figured it'd be best not to wait. I told her I took off work to go with, and she was relieved I could join. Once again, she said all the right things and seems genuine about getting us on the same page. After going through each thing I was just wishing I believed her a little more before. She's stressed out with work and when she'll have to take off, but she really seemed to want to go out of her way to alleviate my concerns. She even offered an open phone policy if I needed. We did look at the text I had seen, and it was just a girlfriend. I declined though right now, since I don't want to be that husband. This has really made me take a deeper look at what's in my past and how that still affects me today. Even thinking back to this weekend, it was so hard to see in the moment how much all the uncertainty was affecting me. That level of anxiety literally makes you question what around you is real. I think the trust but verify is the best way to put it. I was just trying to verify without any of the trust is all. This has all put a strain on our marriage right now, but I'm feeling a bit more like we're a team again working towards easing that. She thought that an NIPP ASAP was a great idea, as long as we also get some kind of counseling together. I'm not big on therapy, but I can probably agree that it will most likely help. I'm feeling a little better about everything. Thanks again to everyone who reached out and shared their own story (Every other comment here I read was a story of a family member who was supposed to be barren and ended up popping out triplets), and most of all those who helped me try to communicate fairly through all of this. It's time for me to hopefully be a father. TL;DR Use your words. - Wife and I objectively went through everything. We both apologized, getting a NIPP soon and hopefully a therapist.   **UPDATE:** The paternity test came back intially positive for anyone that's going to see this : )   *Originally [posted](https://old.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/c225le/update_wifef33_and_i_m34_decided_to_try_for_kids/) by u/Throwawaymyspermazoa*

Wife and I decided to try for kids last year. Found out I'm completely infertile without surgery. 5 months later she got pregnant.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fjnv4y/wife_and_i_decided_to_try_for_kids_last_year/

fjv4n6

I’m aware I am an idiot. I was feeding some of my friend’s chickens and the door latched behind me. It’s a regular fence latch. Looks like this: https://imgur.com/gallery/cExShaJ I managed to get that one open because the wire is wide enough for me to get my hands through. The bottom one is not. https://imgur.com/gallery/6IpODhd I can’t get the bottom one open, and my friends are in china til the 27th. I can’t break the door because the chickens would get out. I’ve tried calling my parents and yelling at the neighbors, but no one’s around. Is there any way for me to get out of this?? Worse comes to worse I could break the door and put a rock against it but I would really prefer not to. Someone will notice I’m gone in a few hours, but it’s like 40 degrees out.     **UPDATE:** After spending an hour in the chicken coop and establishing my own system of egg-based government, the police came and let me out. He was very nice about it, and I didn’t get the chance to take a selfie with him. i’m never going to live this down. thank you!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/a67p50/urgent_im_stuck_in_a_chicken_coop/) by u/man-in-the-woods*

"URGENT - I’m stuck in a chicken coop."

r/Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fjv4n6/urgent_im_stuck_in_a_chicken_coop/

fk7nin

*Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/bw8dsa/i19m_recently_found_out_that_my_older_sister34f/) by u/MyLifeAreABrokenMess*   My older sister(let's call her Rose) and I have a great relationship since I was a baby. we were raised with an amazing adoptive family and she has always taken care of me. I grew up in a very warm and loving environment but from what i was told I was lucky. I was told the story of how me and my sister had two drug addict parents who never took care of us. They never bothered feeding us and used to left us at a junky friends house for days to go out partying. When my mom was pregnant with me she smoked and got drunk(luckily i turned out pretty fine) pretty often and when I was born my sister was the only one who took care of me. When I was 2 months old they left us both in a mall and left. We got help from an old couple(who also turned into our adoptive family) and we contacted the police but my parents weren't at the house, which looked like a homeless cave. We never saw them again and after several months in foster care the couple that helped us(throughout the whole way btw) agreed to adopt us. Today I'm 19 and Rose is 34, I still live with my adoptive family and she lives about 20 minutes away so I come and visit her at least 3-4 times a week. ​ So a couple of months ago my friend offered me to take a DNA test to find some information about my heritage, since my sister wouldn't speak of them much. After the results came in I found out some pretty interesting things(like being 50% Ashkenazi Jew) I found out later that I had an aunt[33f] in the system. I immediately reached out to her(Let's call her Jennet) and we agreed to meet in person. All that without telling Rose a thing. When we met up I could see we have some similar characteristics like same hair color and same eyes. We tried to figure things out so I asked her if she has a brother or sister and she told me that when she was 13 her 14 year old sister got pregnant while being drunk with her junky boyfriend and a month after giving birth she ran away with the baby after some pretty intensive fights with their parents. They never found her and stopped looking after 1.5 years. I connected the dots, asked to see a picture of her, so we went to her parents house. Mom wasn't home and father died 3 years ago. When I saw the picture, I knew. This was Rose, 100%. Rose is my mom, we were never abandoned, we didn't have junky parents and she fabricated the entire thing to me and our adoptive family. I immediately gave Jennet a hug and told her that it's too much for me right now and asked her to keep it a secret for now. I went to my best friends house, told him everything and for a week now I'm sleeping over at his place. I told my parents and my sister im at his house because he bought a new game that we both wanted for long and avoided talking to Rose much. I can't look her in the eyes right now, let alone tell her I know the truth. What the hell am I supposed to do? How should I handle this? Should I tell her I know? ​ EDIT: My best friend just took me out for a movie and a drink(im not that drunk right now though). I thank you all so much for your warm replies, made me look at the situation a bit clearer. I have decided to break it to Rose this week but I need some time to think about how to tell her I know.I don't know if I should try getting there slowly or just break the news to her somehow. I even considered bringing her sister with me but I genuinely think she will be pissed. I'll keep updating as soon as I'll decide how to tell her. Right now going to bed to sleep it over. ​ EDIT 2: After seeing some comments asking how the adoption process went, I decided I need to explain some things. First of all It's worth mentioning that the adoption process wasn't immediate and it took about a year between the time that happy couple found us outside the mall and the time they adopted us. We were in foster care that time and Rose use to keep touch with them and they would come visit us once or twice a week(or so im told, i don't know what to believe now)/ eventually Rose broke down in tears for them and told them she hates foster care and that her little brother(me) would grow up here and she couldn't bare that thought. At that time they decided to try and adopt her and hired lawyers and stuff and after a few months it was legal and done. At least that what I was told. I don't think my adoptive parents knew but if they did then that story is probably a lie too. ​ ​  ​  [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/bynyu9/update_i19m_recently_found_out_that_my_older/) Ok so I first of all want to thank everyone for your honest replies, it really helped me to get my feelings straight and get ready to confront her. ​ So after a week of avoiding I came to her house with a picnic basket by surprise so ill have a chance to speak with her. She was happy to see me and I told her to sit down because we need to talk. I started things with saying that I know that she has a secret that she's been hiding from me for years. Her face turned red and she started crying like hell. She knew what I was talking about. I told her the story about the DNA test, about Jennet and basically what I told you guys in the last post. Well after she calmed down a bit she told me the truth. She told me how she got drunk at a party and slept with one of the jerks who does nothing but weed every day. He didn't really care about a future kid and was like "yeah whatever". Apparently she found out that 10 years ago he was stabbed in prison after sitting for drug dealing, assult and armed robbery. She told me how her mother used to convince her father to talk me out of the idea of keeping the baby. they would constantly fight with her. When the baby was born they told her on the spot that she brought shame upon the family and they will not help raising the baby in any way, meaning she will have to work meanwhile to have money for her baby and sometimes for herself. After a couple of months of loaning from her friends and juggling between working and taking care of me she had a huge fight with her parents and told them that if they are not helping financially and barely in any sort of way, she and me are better off without them. As they sent her to her room she escaped in the middle of the night, hitchhiked to a neighboring country and by morning she was there already. She tried to take care of me for a few days, she found an old abandoned house that used to have homeless people coming around every now and then, and she took me to the mall when I started crying. She started crying too. The couple that adopted us immediately came to our aid and asked if _we_ lost our mother. Rose jumped on the opportunity and came up with a story and an alias. Police figured out we are not in the system for multiple reasons. We were raised in foster care for a year and a half until the couple that helped us decided to make the effort and adopt us so we won't be separated. It took them a few months and a couple of lawyers but they managed to adopt us both. Rose knew all along that her parents are looking for her(They came to their senses after a day or so). She reached out to them and told them in a letter that she is fine and is taking care of herself and me, she is not homeless and found a nice couple to help her with the baby. She made it clear for them that she is never coming back and they should stop looking, and a month after that they stopped. A few years later her father went on a quest to find her(she was after 18) secretly. After so much time searching he found her and apologized and after a while she forgave him and kept secretly in touch with him. He met me a few times and I knew him as one of Rose's old friends from the park. He helped us a few times and apparently they would meet up once every two months secretly. Ironically I'm glad I got to know him before he passed, even if I didn't know who he really is. ​ BTW, the adoptive family never found out about the whole thing. ​ So after hearing this I told her we missed a lot by not knowing she is my mother and I told her I understand she did the right thing. I pulled out an "It's a boy!" sign from the picnic basket and some snacks for a late baby shower and we hugged for an hour or so, had a lot of fun, watched a movie and I headed off to my parents(ADOPTIVE) house to have dinner with them. ​ I'm glad she is my mother. I feel for the first time in years - complete. I don't care she lied because she did it for the greater good and I honestly can't imagine my life right now if she didn't. Thanks Reddit for helping me getting my feelings straight and helping me out mentally to coop with everything that happened!

I[19M] recently found out that my older sister[34F] is actually my biological mother.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fk7nin/i19m_recently_found_out_that_my_older_sister34f/

fkg6y0

At first I assumed he would come around and realize it's the right thing to do. We were both vaccinated as children, as were both of our families. It's been 6 years. Six years since our daughter was born, and 3 1/2 years since our son was born. First, he said he wanted to wait until they were older, maybe 1 year, to "let them develop before we add chemicals." At 1 year I pushed to vaccinate but was met with his "uncertainty." Today my daughter had a fever of 102.3, over 101.6 for more than 24 hours, and I decided to take her to the ER. Thankfully she doesn't have anything serious, but for more than 10 minutes the doctor laid into me about how important vaccines are for our children. He said all the things I've said to my husband, and more, and made me feel like shit. He explained that a 4 month old baby was hospitalized 3 days ago for meningitis, and lived even though he didn't expect him to survive. I tried to explain that I agree, but I feel he didn't believe me that it was my husband's wishes I was respecting up until now. He ended by saying, "look, my children are vaccinated. " On the discharge paperwork it says: "vaccination not carried out because of caregiver refusal" under the diagnosis. I look stupid because of my husband's ignorance. I won't do this anymore. Although he is a sweet man with a kind heart, he is endangering our children. Reddit I need encouragement and suggestions what to do.   [**FIRST UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/arzybj/update_not_sure_how_to_deal_with_my_37f_antivaxx/?st=K0OFB8NO&sh=31eeb1d4) Well guys, I did it last week. I started vaccines. I took them to our county medical office on a day that accepted walk-ins, we waited and they got the first round, about 4 combos each, with another walk-in suggested to me for 3-6 months to catch up the rest. They cried so hard! The oldest kept crying off and on for an hour afterwards, so I took them to a Chick-fil-A for ice cream and playing to distract them. I took the bandaids off before we returned so my husband didn't notice. That whole day, before I left and when we returned, I thought somehow my husband knew, or would figure it out, but here we are about a week later and he's got no idea. And guess what? They're perfectly fine now, no complications! (As I expected, DUH) I don't want a prize or a cookie from y'all or anything, after all I remember to feed them and bathe them so vaccines are just another important and required step of parenting. I do want to say thank you so much to those that encouraged me to do this even though my husband was not in agreement. I don't want my marriage to have any lies, but for THIS, it was the right thing to do. Lastly, and most importantly: For any parent out there in the same situation with your partner/spouse (many, many of you DM'd me) YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Take care of your kids and get them vaccinated, even if you have to go around your spouse like I did. It's worth it.   [**6 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/d5ohzg/update_my_37f_antivaxx_husband_35m_found_out_i/) Well, it was time for the next round of shots recently. The kids came home, and kept mentioning “my poke” ...... So he asked me if they got vaccines and I came clean. I said yes, and told him they started last year. I apologized for not telling him. He wasn’t happy. No yelling, we talked more, and I explained the recent measles outbreaks nearby and expressed my concern for our kids. All is well. No, we didn’t even raise voices. Yes we kissed and made up. He understands I did things for the kids, and not against him. Happy ending. Safe kids. Goodnight Reddit.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ajmn30/not_sure_how_to_deal_with_my_37f_antivaxx_husband/?st=K0OF8HZ7&sh=b6e28f3a) by u/not_my_morning*

Not sure how to deal with my anti-vaxx husband

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fkg6y0/not_sure_how_to_deal_with_my_antivaxx_husband/

fksi0f

So on 1/16/2019 my bank account was placed under another account, much like if you opened a children's bank account under yours. This gave the person unrestricted access to my funds, transactions, allowed them to make transfers etc. For whatever reason that exists transfers to the "parent" account are not shown on my recent transactions and only appear in "account transactions". I never really looked at the account transactions because no need to, this only showed me what I transfered to savings because those were the only account transfers I was doing and I could quickly see the savings balance etc on the main screen. However I noticed about 3 weeks ago that $100 disappeared in front of my eyes and my recent transactions showed nothing. Perplexed I called the bank who informed me it was transferred to the parent account on the account. Well I never had a parent account, never authorized one and definitely don't want one and after research on my own in the account transactions page found this person, slowly has taken $3620 total since January. The bank will not remove the parent account unless the parent account agrees, will not refund or return the money already taken since the account had authorization, however I never gave permission. The police after a short talk with the bank tell me no crimes been committed since the account is authorized to. I've since removed all money from the account, cancelled all direct deposits etc but I'd really like my $3620 back. I live in Missouri if they changes any relevant banking laws or how I go about getting it back, thanks!   [**3 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/e1zyk8/update_my_bank_put_my_account_under_another/) I submitted an OCC complaint against my bank the same day I posted, about 2 weeks later the bank called me and asked me what day works for me and I would be meeting their National Enterprise Financial Crimes Director himself at my local branch or if I did not want to come in they would come to my house even after business hours. The next week I go in and meet him, he does nothing but apologizes for about 20 minutes and tells me they will immediately cut me a check and or give me cash for the missing funds that were transferred to the "mistakenly approved parent account". I quote that phrase because he said it exactly like that about 20 times. I tell him great, I'll take cash since I have already opened a new account elsewhere and do not intend to continue to use their services since it took me reporting them to a government agency before they did anything at all to fix the situation that was clearly their fault. He tells me that's fine and he understands but he just needs me to sign a "small document" saying the situation has been remedied to my satisfaction, the "small document" is about 20 pages of stuff that I understand about half of but I can kind of see it's basically me saying that I am being refunded the money and I can take no legal action against them, can not talk about it and cannot tell anyone their mistake. Also that I must remove all "public postings, mentions, anything negative about the bank from any online reviews or websites publically accessible". Seems they found my reddit post. He tells me that I cannot receive my money unless I sign this. I tell him definitely not since I cannot understand half of this and I leave without my money. So I once again file another OCC complaint online and call in to speak to someone. They tell me this is being escalated and to wait to hear from them, about a week later the bank is once again calling me for a meeting. I tell them I want nothing except a check mailed to my address on record and to leave me alone otherwise. After a few calls a check finally showed up, for the full amount that was transferred to the parent account. Thanks LA for telling me about the OCC (The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency). They take complaints seriously and it's what it took to finally get this whole thing resolved.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/d5p1oh/my_bank_put_my_account_under_another_account_and/) by u/iamgoingshai*

My bank put my account under another account and that person has been slowly transferring money out of mine and into theirs.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fksi0f/my_bank_put_my_account_under_another_account_and/

fl00yp

Baby giantboye resting peacefully (Drogon the Great Dane) We adopted him from the vet hospital my wife works at when his owners abandoned him as a puppy. https://imgur.com/a/vt4uzdT     [**1 YEAR LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/rarepuppers/comments/ashfcv/update_bigboye_got_bigger/) Update: bigboye got bigger https://i.redd.it/3yzl4xly8mh21.jpg This is Drogon. He is a (silver) merle Great Dane. He is approximately 18 months old, weighs about 140 lbs, and loves taking naps on ~~our~~ his couch. He is a big lover dog and I'm glad he is ours!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/6wbfw5/baby_giantboye_resting_peacefully_drogon_the/) by u/Super_Professor*

bigboye got bigger

r/rarepuppers

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fl00yp/bigboye_got_bigger/

flctkf

I’m not jewish, not even a little bit. If you asked me any questions about judaism, I couldn’t tell you, but still, everyone thinks I’m jewish. It all started in high school, 11th grade. I had just moved from California to The South and it was a rough time. I was called every horrible name in the book because I talked different and got the shit beat out of me multiple times. Well I slowly befriended some of the guys on the football team and my closest friend was the center, we’ll call him Greg. Now Greg is a super chill guy compared to everyone around him, but he’s still very very racist and very open about all his opinions. Well one day I’m driving Greg and a few other football players home from school and he makes a comment about synagogues. Without even thinking, I mention that I’ve been to one... and this is where it all started. This prompted one of the other guys to joke that I was a Jew, and trying to be chill (since these were the only friends I had) I went “haha, yep, I’m jewish.” And then that’s when it all went down hill. Greg told everyone on the football team how his new friend from California was a Jew, and they all believed it since most of them thought there were only Jews in California anyways. And the football players spread that to the rest of the school. At this point, I still thought it was a joke and everyone was just jokingly calling me jewish, so I just kept going with it. Then I became known as “The Jewish kid” and started to actually become popular, since everyone wanted to be friends with the different kid, (and the fact my dad had money, a lot compared to the poor area I went to school, so I could afford to buy nice things and people tend to be attracted towards that). And so being Jewish almost became my identity, it became who I was. So whenever someone would ask my religion, I just automatically told them I was jewish. Fast forwards to the end of high school, and the councilors are walking people through scholarship stuff, and my councilor calls me into his office and hand me a slip for a $5,000 Jewish American scholarship. Now as soon as I read jewish American scholarship, I was going to walk out and throw it out, but he made me sit down and fill it out with him, and then took it from me to submit it. I felt horrible for even doing it, but somewhat relieved when I heard that they only gave it to people who were also ethnically jewish, so I knew I wouldn’t get it. I got it. I received a letter in the mail saying I was chosen as the winner of this $5000 scholarship, I got accepted to Dartmouth due to the fact I worked my ass off in high school and was the valedictorian, though my competition wasn’t plentiful to say the least. But I never thought I would have been able to afford it, but this scholarship was huge in helping me towards that. I considered spilling everything then, declining the scholarship, telling everyone at school, telling almost every single form I’ve filled out, saying I’m not actually jewish... I decided to tell my dad and ask him for advice as he’s always been a guy you can talk to about anything whatsoever. So I tell him everything, I tell him about the joke, then the lie, then everything, and now the scholarship (which I hadn’t told any of my family about because 1. I never thought I’d get it, and 2. They’d question why a very not jewish person is getting a jewish American scholarship) and as soon as I told my father, he looked me dead in the eyes with the most serious, disappointed face.... and then burst into tears laughing. The way he reacted, it must’ve been the funniest thing he’d ever heard in his life. He told me he had gotten a letter in the mail asking if I was ethnically jewish for a scholarship I had entered, and being the person he is, he just say the chance for college money and went “yep, jewish” and that was apparently all they need. So my dad convinced me to keep the money and go to my dream college, and I did. As soon as I arrived at university, I was met with some people from the group that gave me this scholarship, some jewish American organization funded by wealthy Israelis, and they told me/enlisted me into all these jewish clubs and they got me set up in a synagogue, and I everyone there (I’d later learn 2 of the people there would be my professors, who were very jewish) and finally they told me they’d set me up with the whole “birthright” thing, where they fly American Jews out to Israel. I was so shocked, I was at my dream school, plus I was being hit with all of this, it was too much. I thought about coming clean a lot of times. But I feel like all the people around me would suddenly feel betrayed and leave me. I became good friends with a lot of people in these jewish clubs, I bonded with my teachers a lot better since they believed I was jewish, I met the most beautiful jewish girl (who I met through her mother, when she came up to me in a cafe, asked if I was jewish, since I was with the local Rabbi, I said yes, and she told me that I’d love her daughter. We went on a date and instantly hit it off) and I got a free trip to Israel. All the while, I was dealing with severe depression since I felt horrible every second of every day, in addition to the already enormous amounts of stress university puts on you. I came so close, so many times to just throw myself off a bridge or tall building, but I could never bring myself to do it. I managed to get all the way through 11 years of college to get my doctorate, got a job at a history museum back on the west coast, married that jewish girl, had a Jewish wedding with her entire family, and my two parents (my dad had spilled the beans to my mom about two days after I told him, she also found it equally as funny) we’ve had 3 little jewish babies, the museum put me in charge of organizing and creating a huge Holocaust/Jewish American history exhibit (even though that’s not my specific field even in the slightest.) And in a few months, when the current Curator retires at the age of 96, I will hopefully be taking his place. (He’s been training me for the job, I’ve worked there the longest, and I’ve made sure that I’m damn good at my job) My life has turned out great but deep down it will always haunt me that my entire life, is built on a lie. My kids lives, my life, my wife’s life, all came from a joke in a car 20 years ago... I was never going to tell a soul this, but today my oldest son (he’s 9) told me that he doesn’t think he believes in god, and I told him I agreed. It was the first time in 20 years that I told the truth about my religion, and didn’t lie. My son wants to tell his mom that he doesn’t want to continue being Jewish and I might use this as my way of getting out as well... I told him we’d tell her tomorrow at dinner and he seems almost as excited as I am, but equally as nervous. Wish us luck, I guess... I still am unsure if I should tell her the whole truth, or if I should just leave it with that I no longer want to be jewish. TL;DR: A friend from 20 years ago made a joke about me being a Jew since I moved there from California. This turned into everyone in my life thinking I’m jewish, causing me to meet a jewish girl, get a free trip to Israel, getting to go to my dream school, everything, but it’s all built on a lie and I feel horrible about it every single day. Telling my wife tomorrow that I’m not jewish, but am still unsure if I should tell her everything. **EDIT:** Just for clarification, because people have been questioning my use of the word “university” in place for “college”. Yes I know they’re not the same thing, I’ve just been surrounded by British people lately and they all use “university” so I’ve been saying that instead of college. It’s a recently adopted habit and I can assure you I’m American. Born in Folsom California, moving to Orange County and then to Santa Clarita, California where I lived for most of my younger life until my family moved to Americus, Georgia. I can assure you I’m definitely American. And as for my wife not finding out from my side of the family, it’s mainly due to the fact that we don’t talk to my side of the family for personal reasons and I haven’t talked to them in years, and she’s only ever met them once at the wedding, but she also wants nothing to do with them. I’ve decided I’m just going to tell her I’m not jewish. I won’t tell her I’ve lied about being Jewish for all these years, but I’m just going to tell her that I’m not jewish. Someone also said that since bother sides of my family are Czech, there’s a good chance I’m Jewish, so I’m thinking of doing a DNA test soon. Also when I said, “I know nothing about Judaism” that was an extreme exaggeration. I’ve obviously picked up a lot of knowledge over the years and I think my wife may have an idea due to the fact, whenever a Jewish holiday is coming up, she’ll remind me about it and tell me when it is/ what it’s for if I don’t already know. I’ll update later tonight on how it goes! **EDIT 2:** So I talked to her and I decided to just tell her everything.... and it didn’t go like I expected. She told me she had a feeling I wasn’t jewish from the beginning but never married me just because I was jewish, but married me for me, regardless of my faith. She said that she was sorry that I felt like I had to hide this from her for so many years and that I don’t have to pretend to be jewish if I don’t want to, but like a lot of people have commented, I do feel sort of culturally jewish now. I definitely identify more as a member of the Jewish community than I do any others. We’re not going to pressure any of our kids into Judaism and we’re going to let them decide what they want to do for themselves... and my wife and I agreed that it’d be for the best if we gave back since all the opportunities afforded to me came from the Jewish community, we’re going to get involved with an organization and we’re donating to 3 different scholarships for $5,000 each, and try and help fund birthright trips whenever we can. I’d like to thank everyone who’s commented with advice and hopefully this can be a new chapter in my life!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/b980ie/ive_lied_to_everyone_in_my_life_for_20_years_that/) by /u/fake-jew*

I’ve lied to everyone in my life for 20 years that I’m Jewish...

r/confessions

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/flctkf/ive_lied_to_everyone_in_my_life_for_20_years_that/

flkxfi

My mum works in a doctors surgery, a few months ago she moved into a van to try and save some more money for her retirement. She kept her old address as delivery address and address with her employer but put a forwarding with Royal mail on so all mail goes to my sisters house. Yesterday she had all her log ins suspended and was asked to leave the office, told she was suspended pending an investigation because they found out she was living in a van. She has a meeting tomorrow with the partners. My main question is; is it a sackable offence to have given them an out of date address for last few months? Also appreciate any other advice.   **UPDATE:** They are not sacking her, she is reinstated and they are claiming that she was never really suspended it was a "misunderstanding". Another employee suggested that the partners wanted to scapegoat her for poor financial performance of the surgery. It seems they didnt realise the extent of the problems and had expected her to have warned them about it. This though is obviously not a good reason for locking her out of the accounting software and sending her home. They questioned her about living in the van, thinking perhaps she could "just drive off" and leave them in the lurch, which obviously anyone who lives in a house could do with minimal planning as well. In the end they have very much backed off from the van angle, and her job is safe for now, so an ok result. I don't know whether she would have some sort of case against them as things stand, but she is not interested in bankrupting an already struggling GP and is keen to help them rather than hinder if possible. Thanks everyone for advice and support   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/fko0sv/mother_been_suspended_from_work_because_they/) by /u/xXx420NoScope420xXx*

Mother been suspended from work because they found out she is living in a van

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/flkxfi/mother_been_suspended_from_work_because_they/

flyilg

Together six years married for three. We so far have very rarely had communication issues. Before we got married we went to a counselor who helped us a lot; not because we were having issues, but to make sure we were going to be able to avoid these issues. Both of us are childfree and have been talking about getting a dog. I grew up with them but we travel a lot, so having one has not really been in the cards. He recently took a job where we won’t be able to do as much traveling for about a year. Recently he has been very excited because he feels he deserves a dog. He works away from home and I work from home. Like I said I grew up with dogs, I do miss having one. But there are dogs who would do great with out lifestyle and dogs who wouldn’t. We agreed on getting a trainer if we had any issues we can’t fix on our own. I am very health conscious which extends to dogs. There are certain breeds I would never own because they have so many health issues. The other day he came home with a bulldog puppy. This is a breed on my absolutely not list. He is about six months old and he got him from a family who couldn’t keep him. He is already has breathing issues, he snores all day and all night. He will need soft palate surgery and he will need his nostrils enlarged. He can’t run. He will need patella surgery. Like I said he is only six months old. I am so frustrated. We’ve had the dog for about four weeks and he doesn’t want to walk the dog much, he won’t clean up after it, all he wants to do is take him to the dog park and pet store. He loves when people gush over how cute he is when he snorts (the dog not my husband). We had a very big argument over the dog. He wants to let him sleep in bed with us, but I told him I would be sleeping in another room. He didn’t care, and the dog has been sleeping in our bed for the past three nights while I have been in the guest room. During the day he is quiet. He is a good puppy for sure, he doesn’t destroy toys and he is happy as a clam to sleep next to me all day while I work. The snoring doesn’t bother me as much, but knowing he snores because he has that much trouble breathing makes me feel so bad. but I am so upset with my husband for getting a dog with so many health issues. I do not know how to address the situation without letting my temper get away with me. TL;DR: my husband brought home an impulse purchased puppy with numerous health issues, he won’t care for it, and it has taken over our bed.   [**1 MONTH LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/cxgnob/my_30f_husband_32m_impulse_bought_a_dog_update/)   Thank you all for the thorough responses. I read every comment you guys sent. A few months ago I read a post where a woman sat down with her husband and outlined everything she takes care of at home in a list format. Like, kitchen: trash, dishes, wipe counters down. Etc. That way of communicating really stuck with me and when we went to see our therapist, I used the same format to express how much I do for the dog. My husband told me that owning a dog was a joint effort and since I’m home all day it shouldn’t be a problem. Which is when I realized that has been his excuse for everything. Cooking, chores, cleaning. I’m not sure how I became blind to it. I don’t know when I started bending over backwards to accommodate him. We used to be a solid couple who helped each other out. I remember when I was still in school he’d come over to my apartment and clean the whole thing for me during finals. Or he took care of my elderly cat when I was away for a week and a half. He used to help me dry the dishes and it was always fun. We used to have so much fun and laugh all the time. At some point it all stopped. I started crying right there in the middle of a sentence and he got concerned. I’m not a cryer the only time he’s ever seen me cry was when I had to put my beloved cat down a few years ago. But he held me for the first time in what felt like months and we had a serious heart to heart about how he made me feel. Not only with the dog but how stressed I’ve been with my job, how lonely I am, I don’t feel important and how we don’t feel like a team anymore, that I’m worried about us. I guess it clicked for him because he really stepped up taking care of the dog. He started going into work earlier so he can come home early and hang out and make me dinner. It happened slowly over the course of the last few weeks and the routine suits us a lot better. We hired a trainer to make sure we can understand the dog’s boundaries together and the dog sleeps in a dog bed. Our bedroom life has slowly gotten back to where it was when we got married. We’re watching our favorite shows again and going out more. I’ve been putting my foot down more about my feelings and he has been receptive. We are still going to therapy for now. As for the dog, we’re going to keep him. Is he a No List dog? Yes. But is he a good puppy with a big heart? Yes. We have the money to afford him and he took off after training. It’s nice having a dog again. TL;DR: husband and I went to therapy, we talked through our problems, we are giving our marriage the time and attention it needs to mend. We’re keeping the dog.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/cxgnob/my_30f_husband_32m_impulse_bought_a_dog_update/) by /u/Gerrrrtty*

My (30F) husband (32M) impulse bought a dog

r/relationships

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/flyilg/my_30f_husband_32m_impulse_bought_a_dog/

fmhuha

I'm in my third year of University taking engineering so this is a little extra embarrassing considering my streak of never being "that person" in the wrong class. To start the semester I ended up missing the first week of school because I was on a last minute trip with my friends. It was completely unplanned and actually a few of my friends who had graduated helped chip to buy my ticket since I technically couldn't afford to go. Anyway, I came into class a week late and it is scheduled for tuesdays and thursdays at 7-8:15pm. On both those days I have classes all day until 2pm so I usually go home to eat and grab a snooze before the night class. So my first tuesday home I ended up over sleeping and turning up to class five minutes late. So as part of my degree I have to take microeconomics which all I knew about it previously was it's about the economy and money. When I get to class they're talking about supply and demand curves shifting so I just take a spot in the back not thinking twice. This goes on for 3.5 weeks. I came to class. Took notes. Then did the weekly assignments. On the course syllabus it had a date for the midterm which is Febuary 1st. So the class before the exam, January 30th, I decided to stick around after class and ask some questions. Now I was doing all the assignments and thought the course material was relevant but it was ALL theory based while the class was heavy math based. I understood what was going on but there was obviously some disconnect. I explained my concerns about the midterm to the prof and the conversation went like this: Explains above about material Prof: "What do you mean theory? All the assignments are filled with math. Are you using launchpad?" Me: "No the assignments are online. Like the website we bought the textbook from. Whats lauchpad?" Prof: "Pardon? I don't have a textbook for this course." Me: "It literally says in the syllabus, look!" Shows syllabus Prof: "Wait, what class are you supposed to be in?" Me: "What do you mean...? This is ECON 202 right?" Prof starts laughing Prof: "Haha this is ECON 301, you have to take 202 before you take my class. This is a new one, I've never experienced this before." Me: "Well this is awkward. I better go see my actual teacher and explain." I then just grabbed my stuff real quick and sprinted through campus to go explain the situation to the other guy. I caught him just as he was leaving lecture and explain my predicament. Even showed him my ECON 301 notes to prove I couldn't make this shit up. He just laughed and said the same thing "This is a new one for me." Turns out all the assignments for both classes were due the same day. Same with the midterms. They were relevant because it was obviously a level above what I was supposed to be doing and the only thing I got wrong was the building code. They were both classroom 112, just different buildings. So basically I just spent the last 2 nights forgetting everything from this class all month and learning the real material. Wish me luck tomorrow! Tldr; I was in the wrong econ class for an entire month until I finally realized. Then had to cram for 2 nights for a midterm. Crazy coicidences all around. **Edit:** Well shit, went to sleep and woke up from a friend texting me saying "You made the front page you motherfucker hahahahahaha". The exam is in a couple hours and I will update you on my grade but to clear up some of the comments: * Ya, the trip wasn't the smartest but I had fun and went to Tiesto's birthday in Vegas amongst other kool stuff. Life goes on. * I was doing the assignments for the actual class with some help from my good buddy google and I had the actual textbook (pirated, no one buys textbooks c'mon). So I do have a grasp of whats going on .. kinda. He did everything on the board and there were online notes but I figured you did practical application in class and the online notes (actually for my 202 class) were for reference purposes. * I highly doubt i'll fail the course or the midterm. It's amazing how much you can learn in 24 hours with enough caffeine and fear in your belly. I've made it through almost 3 years of engineering so I'm sure it will turn out fine. It'll be a funny story at grad when I get my ring. Thanks for all the support too. :) Making the front page of reddit just adds to how sweet 2018's been (no sarcasm) and this is just a minor set back. **Edit 2:** Just got back from the exam.. I didn't crush it but there is no way I didn't pass. It was twenty multiple choice and 2 five mark short answer questions. The prof also stopped me leaving the exam and said "I usually don't tell students this until before the 2nd midterm but if you score better on the final and second midterm I will take the average to make up that first exam." So all in all I survived and live to fight another day. **Update:** Passed with a C+   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7uhdqo/tifu_by_sitting_in_the_wrong_class_for_an_entire/) by /u/Oldybutanewy*

'I sat in the wrong class for an entire month and realized a day before the first midterm'

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fmhuha/i_sat_in_the_wrong_class_for_an_entire_month_and/

fmppqd

I've been hired to make a tuxedo for a llama and I don't have it's measurements. I'm also assuming the llama is male. The measurements needed are: Length of legs from just above hoof (ankle?) to bottom of torso Height from bottom of torso to back of neck Distance around neck Width across shoulders Thank you! Edit to answer the most popular comments: Yes, this is real. It is an age old tale of a sibling who will go to any lengths to playfully spite his sister. And thanks to all who gave really insightful tips on how to go about this, you're the greatest and I'm learning a lot! UPDATE: The original owner of the llama my friend had booked ghosted him about a week before the wedding. My friend then found another person who had a llama handy with a week to spare. His name is Shocky and he is a very good llama and I love him very much. The suit didn't turn out how I wanted it to, but that's pretty much what everyone says when they make something. All in all, it's been an unforgettable day. There will be pictures, because I'm afraid for my safety if I didn't post them. The big day is March 1. I'm trying to get u/ DJ117Xx to post them, as he's the one actually doing all this and should get all the awards and karma. I'm just making clothes.   [**DAY OF THE WEDDING**](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/fbzigv/5_years_ago_i_promised_my_sister_i_would_bring_a/) The bride's brother u/ DJ117Xx posts: 5 years ago I promised my sister I would bring a llama to her wedding 5 years ago we were driving to Indiana (from Ohio) she was talking about her wedding like it was tomorrow (even though she wasnt dating anyone) I told her if you make me come to this wedding I'm bringing a llama. She got very upset and told me I couldn't. Eventually she got so mad she told me "screw it the llama is invited to the wedding". Ever since that day I swore I would bring one. She got engaged in October and I knew it was my time to shine. Today's the big day and I couldn't be happier   THE UPDATE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR: pictures of a llama in a tuxedo.   https://i.redd.it/dwwlwn0r84k41.jpg   *[Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/f6vado/what_are_the_dimensions_of_an_adult_llama/) by /u/MrsSamHandwich, [llama photo](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/fbzigv/5_years_ago_i_promised_my_sister_i_would_bring_a/ ) by /u/DJ117Xx*

What are the dimensions of an adult llama?

r/NoStupidQuestions

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fmppqd/what_are_the_dimensions_of_an_adult_llama/

fn2z7a

Oh boy, here we go. I made a big oops. I knew it as soon as I received a text from my dad while I was at work earlier today, saying “Tell your boss you’re going to be late tomorrow for a family emergency. We have important family business to do in the morning”. My parents know my job is very important, and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. So, my dad telling me to lie to my boss made me realize that something big is going down. Needless to say, I couldn’t focus much on my work for the rest of the day. I texted my dad asking what happened, but he wouldn’t answer. Just to preface: my family, particularly my parents, are very strict South Asian Muslims. They follow the religion devoutly, and there are some sins to them that are absolutely unforgivable, the big ones (besides, y’know, obviously not murdering someone) being: don’t eat pork, don’t drink alcohol, and don’t have sex. Now, I shall also preface by saying that I am, in no way, religious. I moved home recently after living on campus for college, where I happily lived a double life. I spread my wings, ended up loving alcohol, and did a bunch of other fun, sinful things. Now, I knew when I moved home that this kind of fun would need to end, or at least, need to be done with the utmost secrecy. But I’m a fucking idiot. I bought a six pack of Mike’s last time when I was at the grocery shop. Smuggled it home, hid it in a corner of my wardrobe. The same corner where I hid an old male friend’s clothes that I forgot to return (remember that rule I mentioned saying “no sex”? Well, there’s not many things they could’ve thought when they saw those basketball shorts and undershirt.) Anyways, while I was at work today, my mother took the pleasure of organizing and cleaning my room. Which, lucky for me, included my wardrobe. Holy fucking hell. Not only did they find my alcohol “stash”, they also found a boy’s shirt and shorts. I’m done for. My mother pretended nothing happened when I walked in the door after work, and I haven’t left my room since I’ve gotten home. I can only think of this going three ways when they confront me tomorrow morning: 1) I’m getting kicked out, 2) they’re bringing an Imam to perform an exorcism on me since I’m clearly possessed by Satan, or 3) they’re planning on buying me a one-way ticket to their home country so that I could learn a few things from the good, religious girls there. Whichever way this goes, I’m absolutely fucked. I’m freshly out of college and haven’t saved enough to find a place of my own (not that I had anticipated, either — my parents expect me to live with them until I’m married; the idea of living on my own is, to them, unthinkable.). I guess I won’t really know what’s going to happen until tomorrow morning. Suffice to say, I won’t be getting any sleep tonight. TL;DR: My devout South Asian Muslim parents found my sinful stash of booze and other things, and I’m anticipating being dealt with accordingly tomorrow morning. Edit: forgot to mention, I’m a girl, if anyone was confused reading this Update: Alright folks, it’s around 8am here and I know everyone’s dying for an update. So apparently, all the stress from last night made my brain go into hyperdrive and tire itself out, and I actually got some sleep. Some time last night my mom came in to let me know to make sure I get up on time, that my dad’s taking her and I somewhere. (???). I guess I’ll find out in a few. Thanks for the help so far, y’all. I’m reading all the comments and messages and you guys are all so amazing. I’ll keep you updated as things unfold. Alright, Update 2: My dad took my sister to school this morning, so I took that opportunity to dip. My mom asked me where I was going, as I was supposed to go to work later today, but I’m a fucking coward so I left. Took a change of clothes just in case I decide to bunk with a friend tonight. My parents do love me, but they’re strict — love me enough that they wouldn’t put my life in jeopardy, but strict enough that they will do what it takes to keep me on what they believe is the right path. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I can’t run forever, but I also don’t wanna be late for work. Hell, if I get kicked out, the last thing I need is to be unemployed too. I’m sitting in a parking lot right now deciding if I should just drive back home and talk to them now or keep avoiding as long as possible. By not talking to them, I’m kind of hoping that they see that I won’t easily bend to their will, that they’ll have to reach an understanding with me rather than expecting me to follow what they say blindly. This probably isn’t the update you guys were hoping for, but I’m apparently good at disappointing people, haha. Update 3: My parents kept calling me, I guess they’re worried. They’re super overprotective (if you couldn’t tell) and have called a whole bunch of times, texted too. My dad texted me to come home, so I texted both him and my mom separately saying “I don’t know where you want to take me, but mom said we’re going somewhere. I’m not going”, to which my dad responded, “we’re not going anywhere, just come home”. He also left me voicemails saying to come home. Didn’t sound mad at all, more apologetic than anything, if I’m being honest. I love my dad, we have a great relationship and I fucked it all up by disrespecting their values in their own house. I feel awful. Anyways, I’m not here to whine. I’m going to work. If I decide to come back home tonight I’ll speak to them. Who knows what’s happen.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/avy6eg/tifupdate_tifu_by_having_my_devout_muslim_parents/) So one part that I forgot to mention in the updates on the original post was that I zoomed out of the house as quickly as I could because it turns out that my mom not only found my alcohol stash, but also a few condoms. After she found my alcohol, I guess she went through the rest of my stuff and dug deep (real deep -- I mean that shit was hidden in Hades' rectum) to uncover all my sinful secrets. Now, before everyone starts calling me a whore (and I happened to get a good number of people messaging me, calling me exactly that), those condoms have been in my bag for ages. My college had their annual involvement fair and our health services department threw 'em around like candy. Lady at the booth tossed me a few. "Never know when you'll need 'em", she told me. Anyway, it wasn't until this morning that I found out that she found the condoms. They weren't where I had hidden them. And that's when I panicked. I had to leave the house. Alcohol’s one thing, but sex is a whole different ballgame. No, thanks. As I mentioned before, my parents called me a bunch of times before I finally called back. The last straw was when my mom called my workplace asking to be transferred to me. She got me. I hung up on her and called her from my cellphone. I caved. Went home. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to focus at work. Told my boss my parents were spam calling me and I really needed to get home, and that I'd be right back. Fortunately, she was more than understanding. Cut to me arriving home -- my parents are sitting at the kitchen table. My dad's staring into his coffee, leaning on his hand. My heart dropped to my stomach. I feel like absolute garbage for disappointing him. Mom was trying to diffuse the tension by making small talk. Dad went to the room to lay down. He couldn't even look at me. Which, sadly worked out because I couldn't bare to face him. It broke my heart knowing that I permanently messed up our relationship. I sat down with my mom. She didn't waste a second getting right to it. "I want you to be clear and honest with me. I'm your mother, and I can tell if you're lying, so please just don't hide anymore". Her voice was quivering as she said this, which threw me off guard. I promised I would, which I didn't, which in turn made me feel shitty, but it's better than what would've have gone down if I had been honest. "Are you seeing anyone? From work or from college?" No mention of the alcohol yet. Like I said, sex is a whole different ballgame. Anyways, I told her no, I wasn’t. I explained to her exactly where I got those condoms from (Booth Lady), and played dumb., "I didn't know how to dispose of those things, and I figured you'd think something if you had seen them in the trash, so I just hid them in my bag because I didn't know what else to do with them." A whole lot of playing dumb and convincing her that “I-would-never-let-a-man-touch-me” occurred before she believed me. She was holding her breath this whole time, and as soon as I explained myself, she broke down. "I can forgive you for the alcohol but the most important thing for us women is keeping our bodies pure and keeping away from bad men." In my head, I rolled my eyes, but I also needed her to believe me, so I feigned being offended that she didn't think that I believed the same thing as her. The alcohol was mentioned next. I had to come semi-clean about this; I knew I couldn't expect all-around wins. I explained to her that while I was packing to move out last semester, my old roommate gave me the six-pack since she didn't like it (and yes, it was Black Cherry!). There was one bottle gone. I told her I just wanted to try it, that I was surrounded by people drinking all the time, so I wanted to see what the hype was all about, but that it was stupid of me to do so. I apologized for disrespecting both her and my dad in their own house, as they're the ones who've raised me, taken care of me, fed me, and kept a roof over my head. This, I genuinely meant. I apologized for disappointing them. The clothes were explained as me finding them in the laundry room at college last semester, and I decided just to keep them, for the hell of it. Somehow, she believed it. I won’t question it. A little bit of lecturing naturally occurred. She mentioned being disappointed, and I cried a little, partly because of relief, and partly because I felt bad. I don’t know what would’ve happened if I had been completely honest. I’m just glad that my explanations were believable. At the end of the day, this was a FU [fuck up] that happened because I'm a fucking idiot. It was only a matter of time until I got caught. I knew I'd have to find a different hiding place for those things but I never got around to it. I won't make any excuses for my dumb-fuckery. Note: Everyone saying the real FU was getting caught with Mike’s of all things is absolutely correct. Couldn't I have been caught with a bottle of Grey Goose at least? Note II: I'm Bangladeshi, for all of those who were curious. Dunno why everyone assumed I was Pakistani ¯_(ツ)_/¯ TL;DR: Lied a little, confessed a little. I get to still live at home.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/avmf13/tifu_by_having_my_devout_muslim_parents_find_my/) by /u/meowtoothree*

My devout Muslim parents found my alcohol stash

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fn2z7a/my_devout_muslim_parents_found_my_alcohol_stash/

fn6tor

**[Original](https://np.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/dthk1j/i_26f_just_dropped_a_lot_of_money_on_my/) by /u/vaches** We've been together for 2 months (and we were friends beforehand). I'm head over heels for him, and he has indicated he feels the same. I've spent every weekend at his place since we started dating, and we've met each other's families. Things seem to be awesome. Yesterday I made an impulse purchase for his Christmas present. Something really nerdy and dorky and $900. It puts a small dent in my financial situation but I can recoup it in a couple of months. This morning I've woken up feeling regretful. I don't mind spending the money, but what kills me is that when he sees the gift he'll think I'm insane. He might think I'm obsessed with him and making wedding plans or something. I'm just really happy and I wanted to express it. Even if things go up in flames, I won't regret giving him this gift. TL;DR I don't know how to explain that I just love him and want him to have cool things and I swear I'm not going to go Fatal Attraction on him. **[Update](https://np.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/fn24sv/update_i_26f_just_dropped_a_lot_of_money_on_my/)** I posted in November that I had spent $900 on a Christmas gift for my boyfriend of 2 months. It was a dinosaur fossil, something we both would appreciate. I was in love, I was excited, and I knew it was probably a bad idea but I didn't think I'd have any regrets. I got plenty of advice to return it or hang on to it until an anniversary. I weighed my options and proceeded to ignore all of it because, y'know, young and in love and dumb. Well, a few days later (before the gift arrived) I ended up in the hospital because of a mental health crisis. When I was in the ER, I phoned him to let him know 1) where I was and 2) that I might have my phone taken away. I could hear in his voice that he was quite taken aback and didn't really know what to say. I was transferred to another hospital 30 minutes away and held in the hospital's custody for 72 hours. I knew in my mind that any normal person would be spooked if their brand-new girlfriend had a nervous breakdown that needed hospitalization. When he asked to come visit on the 2nd day, I was surprised. He bought me a book that he thought I would like and brought his favourite sweater because "when I'm not feeling well this sweater makes me feel cozy". I cried when he left that night because I was so touched. All in all, I was in the hospital for 9 days. I was blown away; he didn't seem to care very much that I had mental health issues, he liked me regardless. The fossil arrived during this time, so as soon as I got home I rushed it over to his apartment. I felt he deserved to have it a little early. He loved it so much he got a little teary-eyed. It sits on his bookshelf. Over the next months, I learned that my reckless decisions (including spending almost a thousand dollars on a Christmas gift for someone I was dating for 8 weeks LOL...) were prompted by a personality disorder. I'm still on a sick leave from work while I recover. My boyfriend has been so supportive every step of the way. I moved into his apartment two weeks ago. (Which doesn't change much because I was here all the time anyway.) My birthday is coming up and he wants to take me on a trip to Newfoundland where we would sit by the ocean, drink, hike, and hopefully see some moose and whales. When I said that's WAY too big of a gift, he said, "You bought me a f*cking dinosaur fossil. You don't get to pull rank here." So when COVID-19 settles down, we'll be on a road trip :) TL;DR I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a gift for a new relationship because I was extremely invested and kinda crazy. It turns out he deserved it, and we're now living together and happy as ever.

I [26F] just dropped a lot of money on my boyfriend's [30M] Christmas present

Relationship_Advice

somegenerichandle

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fn6tor/i_26f_just_dropped_a_lot_of_money_on_my/

fnmq13

Location: Toronto, Ontario I own an apartment in downtown Toronto, our building has had a bad history of problems with AirBnB tenants so we voted to ban any sort of short term rental. Currently i am on the other side of the continent for work, and won't be back until January. I decided to list my place up for a rental in late August, for rental until Janaury. Since the rental time was almost half a year it doesn't count as a short term rental (several people do this in our building and it is fine). I immediately got a hit by a person named Jane who was a student about to start grad school (i don't know if this is true or not), and we talked and decided to agree to the rental.She signed a document indicating she agreed to the buildings rules, including the notice about "No short term rentals, through services such as AirBnB". Yesterday i got an email from our property manager: On Monday they were testing each units smoke detectors, and he noticed there were 3 people in the unit. Along with a strong smell of pot. They apparently identified themselves as AirBnB renters. (Apparently they tried to deny our property manager from entering, since they weren't sure of who he was since they were only renting this place for a week through AirBnB). * I am violating the rule about no short term rentals. * I am apparently in violation of a bunch of rule violations such as the fact that more people are staying in my unit than permitted. * Apparently multiple guests have been parking overnight in the visitors spot (not allowed) who all recorded my unit number as the one they are visiting. * After getting that email i called him and confirmed, and i was able to find my place listed on AirBnB, using very recent photos of my apartment. I tried to contact Jane, through email (no response), phone calls go to voice mail, and facebook (she blocked me after i sent her a message). I have tried numerous times to talk to AirBnB, but all they have told me is they can't do anything about this, and basically refused to do anything about the listing. Aside from all the issues above, frankly i don't feel comfortable with a bunch of random strangers in my apartment at all. Unfortunately i have no idea even what to do about this legally speaking. Do i have any way to block these random people from entering my unit?   [**UPDATE #1**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9qibro/update_tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment_on/) Just wanted to thank you all for your support/advice, i was really dumb and naivee when it comes to renting out my apartment. The last time i rented it out the tenant left on time, and i never actually thought about what could happen if they didn't leave. I have started the process of evicting the tenant today, with support from a local lawyer who is going to handle a bunch of the paperwork for me, and represent me. My condo board thankfully has been super understanding as soon as i outlined that it was being done without my knowledge, and they have agreed to wave the penalties. Apparently there were noise complaints on Friday relating to my apartment which annoyed our condo board. Our concierge service (we have someone at the front desk 24/7), will no longer be allowing people to leave keys for people at the front desk. On Sunday two people came in to the building asking for keys to my unit, and our concierge service asked if they were AirBnB tenants, and they said yes. He then basically told them to leave right away, and they aren't welcome here. Jane finally got in touch with me today, and basically accused me of numerous things, from harassing her renters, to just in general making her life difficult. She also stated that she will be going to the LTB to "make a formal complaint because banning AirBnB is not allowed". When i pointed out that as people have told me here that she needs to get my permission before renting out to other people. She went a rant about how she is doing this for numerous places and how she has never had a problem and "how stupid i am for making her my enemy". I have a ton of proof of what she is doing, honestly my biggest concern is what is going to happen to my apartment. I asked a friend to book my room for one night through AirBnB for tomorrow (as it just apparently became available for rent), and take a look at the state of my apartment.   [**UPDATE #2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9svjmr/update_2_tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment_on/) Thank you all for the wonderful advice, especially the fact that i am allowed to elect someone by proxy to do a unit inspection. I am never going to rent out my room again because this has been a massive battle. My friend to rent the room for a single night because my land lord never responded about doing a walkthrough in time, and i was nervous. Turns out someone not Jane, but someone who identified himself as Janes coworker who works for Company X, met my friend in the parking lot. He gave him the keys. I don't know who this person is but i am not comfortable with some random person having my apartment keys. My friend ironically was rejected by the concierge service, who asked him what room he was going to. (I forgot to tell my property manager about this). My friend got a full refund from AirBnB and him and his girlfriend were put up in a nice hotel a few blocks away by AirBnB for the night. My property manager did respond and was kind enough to do a video walkthrough with me on speaker phone, and honestly my apartment is not in great shape at all. Apparently it stinks of cigarettes and weed, and there was a beer can being used as an ash tray, which is not allowed since our apartment building is "Smoke Free". I have stains/burns on my couch which looks like from cigarettes. AirBNB has not done anything, and her listing is still up (i can't find any other listings of hers). Jane however has been constantly sending me angry emails, about how i am impacting her financial situation, to how it is making her look bad as an AirBNB host. I told her bluntly the things that i saw from the walkthrough and how it stinks of smoke and we are a smoke free building. She claims she never signed any sort of agreement about condo rules, and i sent her a picture of the agreement she signed, including the condo rules page. I offered to let her out of the lease, and not pay any more rent money for the remainder of the time on the lease. Skipping Novemeber/December. If she left, and had the apartment cleaned. She on the other hand demanded $5,000 for her to vacate from the apartment early. When i refused she told me "I will do everything within my power to make ur life a living hell for fucking with me". My lawyer has made the complaint with the LTB, and he thinks it will most likely be resolved by the end of December. This has taught me a hard lesson, and i will never rent my apartment again.   [**FINAL UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9z9q04/update_final_tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment/) Officially as of today Jane has vacated my apartment, and building management has changed the locks. We were able to come to a signed agreement where she agreed to vacate the property within 7 days if i refunded her last two months of rent. (~4200$). Which i did. Honestly between this and my other legal fees i am basically in the hole, and i would have been better off not having anyone rent my apartment. I talked to someone who is doing a story on Jane, and they were able to confirm that she apparently works for a company rents out places on AirBNB (said person who was doing a story basically told me they weren't going to pursue this anymore due to time concerns). She isn't a grad student nor is she even a student. I don't feel like i won, and honestly i just feel absolutely infuriated with the entire situation. AirBNB to this day still has my place being listed on AirBNB. Who knows why she doesn't have keys anymore. My apartment is a disaster right now and from what my property manager has stated it seems like people definitely did smoke in my apartment. There are burns on my couch from cigarette, my dishwasher is broken, and pretty much everything needs a desperate deep clean. But my apartment is safe more or less. Anyways i wanted to thank everyone for your advice. It probably isn't the best ending but it taught me an extremely valuable lesson, and i can go home at Christmas and hopefully clean my apartment.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9prn30/tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment_on_airbnb/) by /u/TorontoAptQuestion*

Tenant is renting out my apartment on AirBnB. Tenant isn't responding, AirBnB doesn't care, and my condo board is threatening to fine me for each violation.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fnmq13/tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment_on_airbnb/

fnndod

Tenant is renting out my apartment on AirBnB. Tenant isn't responding, AirBnB doesn't care, and my condo board is threatening to fine me for each violation.

Kinglens311

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fnndod/tenant_is_renting_out_my_apartment_on_airbnb/

fnum1g

So I set up the entire middle-sized company to work from home. A giant feat, considering over 50% of people had desktops. Now, I am being told that I have to keep driving in to work every day and sit in an empty office because "the server room has to be manned". I work 8-5, the server room is usually "unmanned" all evenings and weekends. I have monitoring installed on everything and will get phone calls and SMS within 2 minutes of anything going down. I live 15 minutes from the office. The building is locked down, there are cameras everywhere, the server room has a camera and is locked as well. I have temperature controls in the server room that will SMS me if the temp goes up. I asked what exactly I am expected to do sitting in an empty office and was told that all larger companies have live bodies in the datacenters, that this is the normal procedure. Is it? Is everyone else here also sitting in the server room while the whole company works from home? Thanks!   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/fmnyb8/update_stuck_in_the_server_room_while_the_whole/) Last week I asked here if it was common practice to keep server rooms and data centers manned at all times, even if there is a monitoring system set up. In response, I was given advice on how to occupy my time in an empty office, even though I have plenty of work to do, and was told that my company's needs exceeded my wants to remain mentally healthy. Thank you to everyone who actually answered the question and it seems like there is no universal standard - some server rooms never see a live person unless there is an issue and others have tech on site at all times. One reply though gave me an idea. A few days later there was a conference call for all managers. On this call, it was decided that the few people who still came to the office should start working from home as well. My boss piped up and said, "Of course, brutik will be on site every day to man the server room." To which I immediately responded, "Of course! But seeing how the building will be completely empty now and we have hazards such as a many steep stairs, auto-locking closets, tall server racks where I have to use a ladder to get to the top, I believe it would be the safest for me to have someone else working with me onsite. As my boss is the only one in the company with some basic computer knowledge, it would make sense for him to work from the office as well." Voila! Starting Monday, I work from home.   *[Originally posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/fk6i78/anyone_else_stuck_in_the_server_room_while_the/) to /r/sysadmin*

Stuck in the server room, while the whole company works from home

r/sysadmin

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fnum1g/stuck_in_the_server_room_while_the_whole_company/

fo9509

So, wife and I have been together 17 years. We are still stupid for each other, and she is the absolute love of my life, best friend, confidant, and co-conspirator. About two years ago she started having joint aches and pains, and some minor swelling in her hands, wrists, ankles, etc. So off we got to the GP, who gives us a consult to a Rheumatologist. Come to find out, she has rheumatoid arthritis, no worries, she starts treatment. Fast forward to a month ago, when our North Texas weather decided to go full mental, and start changing temps and rain/weather by the hour it seemed. She woke up after overnight temp changes and thunderstorms, and her hands were HUGE, worse, her small petite fingers looked like sausages. And even though she had been previously warned about this, had slept in her wedding ring. So, off to the doctors office....where they had to cut off her ring. So, now for the bad, our rings were special ordered from Ireland and custom designed, and have words in Gaelic around the exterior of the ring, negating any type of "repair", and they were designed and made......17 years ago. She was absolutely GUTTED. I assured her we would figure it out, and it wasn't a big deal, but I could tell, to her, it was. Begin Sherlock Holmes Mode. I googled until I couldn't google anymore. I was able to find that the original jeweler had closed up shop 10+ years ago just due to age. I searched some more. I finally found his personal Facebook page, and I message him, and wait......and wait...... I finally get a response from his daughter, that she had noticed a pending message on her Da's page, and that he passed away just six months ago. I express my condolences, and she asks what was the purpose of my inquiry. I go into this long diatribe about what had happened, etc. She tells me she understands, and is so sorry about what had happened. Fast forward a couple of weeks. I get a message on Facebook from an unknown person, until she explains this was the daughter of the jeweler. She explains that she went through all her dads designs and looked up the approximate dates, and thinks she found the drawings, details, and MOLDS in her dads things, and wanted me to confirm. She sent pictures, and I confirmed that YES - THOSE ARE OUR RINGS! She said she would get all of this to us as soon as possible, and asked for our address. I open my email this morning to find tracking information, and pictures. OF OUR RINGS. She went ahead and had her BROTHER, who had taken over her fathers business make our wedding bands again, in her original size, and two extra in two larger sizes in case her condition causes her fingers to swell/change, and mailed them out to us, at no charge. I asked why they did both as mine was fine, and she said it would not be fair that my wife had to have a new ring, and I was allowed to keep my old one. She told me we needed to put our original set away, and to enjoy our new wedding bands. I asked about compensation, and she said she was honored to keep her dads work and spirit alive. Our "New" Wedding Bands will be here Thursday. Trying to think of romantic way to present her with them as she has NO IDEA any of this took place. *Edit - I rarely keep anything from her, but didn't want to tell her I was trying only for her to be ultimately disappointed. The absolute hardest thing for me from now until they arrive will be to NOT tell her as we tell each other EVERYTHING. So now I not only need to figure out HOW to do this, but NOT to spill the beans until then. (Our friends nicknamed us Mickey and Mallory as well as Marshall and Lilly from "How I Met Your Mother", because we literally tell each other everything) *Edit 2 - I thought about taking her to our local favorite restaurant, where I actually proposed to her, she's a nurse (VA Nurse - how we met 18 years ago), and so ALWAYS goes to the bathroom to wash her hands prior to ordering, when I originally proposed, I waited until she got up to wash her hands, dropped her ring in her wine glass, and...."waited".....am thinking of a repeat. *Edit 3 - And to those of you saying "I" am awesome, not in the slightest. SHE is my world, she brought two sons to this add water family that were my pleasure to raise, and are now my best friends. She is the reason I breathe, and supported all of us when I went back to school to achieve my two doctorates to advance my career. She is my hero. I wake up every day to earn her all over again. This was one small thing I was able to do to bring her happiness, her joy is why I have a heartbeat. And I don't give a good flying f at a rolling donut if I seem sappy. If a man isn't allowed to get sappy over his wife, he shouldn't have one.   TL;DR Wife had to have rings cut off due to swelling from arthritis, I went Hardy Boys and found original jeweler, who had passed away, daughter found original molds/order, and recreated rings without my knowledge and mailed them out. Was seeking advice on how to give her the new wedding bands.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b9v8sv/update_dont_want_to_have_a_clickbait_title_wifes/) So, I have just returned from lunch, where my wife received her new bands. We kept it low key, no pictures/video, and semi-private. What we did was planned to take her cut band to a local jeweler after lunch, and invited our two sons to lunch before the "appointment". While ordering, Oldest son asks to see the damaged/cut wedding band, saying he might be able to fix it, he takes it below the table and starts acting like he is squeezing and straining, and then places a complete "fixed" band on the table, and asks his mom if that works, she is ASTOUNDED, and places the band on her finger, but....it is too big. Youngest son says he can fix THAT and asks for the band, wife reluctantly and with a look of "WTF is going on" on her face, hands the band to our youngest, he takes it below the table, and squeezes and strains, and makes it "smaller, but not quite perfect" when she puts it on. She is now trying to figure it out, and as she takes it off and starts to inspect it, I take it away from her and do the same "act" as our boys, but this time, the band fits PERFECTLY on her finger, and she has quite LITERALLY had enough! She finally takes it off, and is inspecting it pretty hard, and cannot figure it out.....until My oldest places her cut and older band on the table, our youngest places the too large band on the table, and I place the next size on the table. At this point she's just staring at all of us, and I explain what had happened, and how I was able to find the jeweler, etc. I even showed her the Reddit post. She didn't start crying until reading about the comments and all the caring and support you guys posted. Lunch was ordered, we all talked about everything, ate lunch as a family, parted ways back to respective work, home, etc. She (wife) did mention that after reading all the replies, she would have KILLED me if I had gone full public display, and all that, so very thankful to those that suggested to keep it low key and semi-private. So, about the jeweler. They responded to my email regarding posting the name/info, and would like to maintain their privacy. The oldest son IS making jewelry and doing repairs ONLY to catch up previous orders and work requests prior to their fathers passing. Once it is all caught up, they are closing it for good. They sent copies of the drawings and mold for our bands and we placed them in our safe at home in case this happens again, we can get something made/designed. I followed up asking if there was ANY way to repay their kindness, and haven't had a response. Regardless, my wife is planning on hitting up some local spots and making them a "Texan" Gift Package and sending it to them. And that's it. She is extremely happy and overjoyed. I am really glad it's "over" as I had NO idea this would garner this much attention, and can now go back to our normal lives. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions, and we are grateful to all the outpouring of genuine caring, thank you to everyone that sent Silver, Gold, and Platinum, it wasn't necessary but greatly appreciated.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b8kigy/cant_wait_until_thursdaymy48m_wife44f_is_going_to/) by /u/wllmwallace*

My(48M) wife(44F) is going to be SHOCKED

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fo9509/my48m_wife44f_is_going_to_be_shocked/

fofu8q

My porch over looks a street and for the past half hour this man has been sitting in his car, listening to music, and crying. He’s wearing a wedding ring, has pillows and blankets in the back seat, and he has his dog with him. He looks absolutely broken. It’s hurting me to look at him and I want to help, but I don’t know if offering a joint would be appropriate or received well in a situation like this. He’s beginning to sob as I write this out. I feel awful. Is it wrong to offer him a joint? **Update:** I walked up to his car, introduced myself, and asked if everything was ok. His name is Robert and his German Shepard is Scout. I offered him a few joints and talked to him for about an hour. A couple of nights ago he caught his wife of 20 years cheating on him with his best friend who happens to be his boss. I couldn’t help but I got choked up listening to his story so I asked if he’d like to use my restroom to wash up. We smoked a bowl and now he’s in my restroom washing up. When he gets out, we’re grabbing beers. Today’s for you Robert. **Update 2:** I’m just getting back home. Thank you so much for the kind words and messages! Robert and I had a long conversation over beers and Fuck I feel for him. He’s a hell of a man. He’s been sleeping in his car since Wednesday night. He has family up north and he said he’s taking a road trip to get some well overdue family time. I don’t know what he plans on doing after, but he mentioned driving up to BC Canada (his bucket list) and I hope he fulfills his goal. We exchanged numbers and I hope to keep in contact with him. Oh. And thanks for the gold kind stranger   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/9xz0cs/is_it_wrong_to_offer_a_joint/) in 2019 by /u/Lexvp123*

Is it wrong to offer a joint?

r/trees

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fofu8q/is_it_wrong_to_offer_a_joint/

fotmd9

Last week I was driving home from my friend's house when I noticed someone driving very erratically. They were swerving when there was nothing to avoid and they couldn't stay in their lane so I called the police and followed them. The police caught up to us after a while and they pulled over the driver. It turns out that he was extremely drunk and when they gave him the sobriety tests he failed them miserably. He was arrested and the police asked me to write a statement and give them my information. I gave one of the cops my driver's license (I'm under 18) so he could copy my address and he said that I wasn't allowed to be driving because it was past 11. I told him that I would've been home by 11 but I noticed the drunk driver and I didn't want someone to get hurt so I followed them. Plus when I called them they asked me to keep following the man even though it was technically past curfew. The officer said that it didn't matter even if me driving past curfew meant that World War 3 was prevented, that the law is the law and that he had to give me a ticket because I broke curfew. He said he would have to give me another ticket if I drove home myself so I called my parents and they came and picked me up (and drove the car I was driving home). This feels so wrong, I did a good thing and I'm getting punished for it. Am I really going to have to pay this ticket or is there some way out? I'm thinking of calling the police station and asking them to reduce the fine but at this point I'm really anxious because I have to mail something back to the court in a few days otherwise I'll get arrested and I don't know what to do. I'm in Pennsylvania if it matters.   [**UDPATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/bieir5/update_pa_i_followed_and_reported_a_drunk_driver/) I took the advice that I was given and I pled not guilty. Last week I went to court, and here's what happened: ​ I brought copies of my cell phone's call log (showing that I called 911 before curfew) as well as the same records from my carrier. I also got a copy of the drunk driver's criminal complaint with the help of the court clerk, and I printed out a copy of the "justification" law. The hearing started with the officer saying that I was pulled over on the side of the road, that he "went to investigate" why I was there, and that I voluntarily confessed to driving past curfew. He said that that was all he needed to prove in order to prove my guilt and basically left it at that. Then it was my turn to speak. I said that while I did drive past curfew, it was because I had noticed an erratic driver and I was following him because I thought he was going to hurt someone. I felt that if I had let the man go, that he would kill somebody and that 911 had told me to keep following him. I gave my evidence to the judge and to the police officer, and I said that I would have been home on time if not for the drunk driver. I argued that I had a reasonable belief that the man was very drunk and that the police are accusing the driver of having a .12 BAC. (The judge asked the officer about the driver and he confirmed the BAC.) Finally, I brought up the justification defense. I argued that driving past curfew was a summary offense and that drunk driving was at minimum a misdemeanor and at worst a 1st degree felony if he killed someone. I said that the law clearly provided a defense to my conduct because drunk driving was clearly the greater of the two evils and because I drove in an otherwise safe manner. The judge agreed and found me not guilty! He said that I had proven my defense by a preponderance of the evidence and that I had done the right thing. I'm going to get my collateral back in the mail in a few days and my record is clean! ​ TL;DR: Went to court. Police officer basically said "the law is the law." I presented my defense that I was preventing a greater harm under the justification law. Judge agreed; I was found not guilty!   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/az9zvq/i_followed_and_reported_a_drunk_driver_then_i_got/) by /u/throwaway_18701*

I followed and reported a drunk driver, then I got a ticket for driving past curfew

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fotmd9/i_followed_and_reported_a_drunk_driver_then_i_got/

fp0tpt

I live in staff housing at my job. My partner [31M] is a seasoned veteran at this job and it’s my first year here. We live with another couple, who are fine to live with, and our new roommate, the intern, “Louis” just moved in. At his last house, a couple months ago, Louis was making fried chicken and let the oil get too hot. It was on fire, and his other two roommates noticed it while his back was turned and jumped into action. One of them put water on the fire (stupid mistake obviously), and when it got worse she picked up the pan to take it outside and the oil splashed all over her arm, giving her third degree burns. She could have lost her hand. Since then, that girl has had to leave work and go home and see a burn specialist, and has been in excruciating pain. This was a traumatic thing for her, and Louis has not apologized for his fault in the matter, instead making jokes about it. And Louis has continued to make fried chicken. Every. Single. Night. It’s all he eats. He invited us over one night, made a HUGE mess of the kitchen, and produced bland fried chicken. Before we left, we asked if we could help him clean up, and he said “No, this is going to wait until tomorrow anyway.” This is a horrible idea because all the staff houses have serious mice issues. Last night was the night Louis moved in. We were talking with him about expectations for the house, specifically the fridge, and he mentioned he was going to have ingredients for fried chicken in there. My heart sank and I got really nervous. The kitchen is right below our bedroom. I am super nervous about another fire, especially as my partner and I are leaving on a long distance hike in February and we are leaving all our stuff in this house. I also work really hard to keep our kitchen clean and I really don’t want him to treat it the way I saw him treat his old kitchen. Our other two roommates are on vacation until January but I feel like they’re not going to be comfortable with this either. My partner doesn’t seem to care and seems to think I’m being mean. So I guess my question is: am I being mean? Am I being petty? Am I bitter that my friend got hurt and that Louis has not apologized? Should I just let the kid make his fried chicken? Or do I have a right to state that I’m feeling uncomfortable? TL;DR - My new roommate almost burned his old house down making fried chicken and now that he’s moved into my house he wants to continue making fried chicken. Should I just let it go?   **EDIT:** important point, I learned yesterday that it was in fact Louis who put the water on the fire, not the housemate. She grabbed the closest fire extinguisher (there were 2 in the kitchen) but it turned out to be made for wood fires so that didn’t do much. She didn’t know about the second fire extinguisher and that’s when she decided to take the pan outside. So I understand why you all are saying the fire becoming worse is her fault when in actuality it is Louis’. I think we are going to get him an air fryer for Christmas. Excellent suggestion. **EDIT 2:** for all those asking why we are allowing Louis to move in, it is not up to us. We are a really small staff (fewer than 20 of us) and housing is very limited AND we live for free. We are not renting. Our bosses decided Louis should be in a coed house (he previously lived with two women) and since his old house is becoming used for a different purpose, he was told to move in with us. Not our decision, but I did make my worries known to my bosses.   [**A YEAR LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/eyrss4/update_my_23f_roommate_18m_continues_making_fried/) I figured I'd make an update because it's been a year and things are super different now. In our house, with a new kitchen to work with, Louis decided to pursue cooking for himself as a hobby, and expanded his tastes. He still eats mostly meat, but has moved on to things like bacon-wrapped meatballs and burgers. The fried chicken was more occasional, and he improved his cooking style over the year. Shortly after I made the original post, we talked to Louis about the jokes he'd been making concerning the incident. He genuinely didn't know he had offended people and apologized to everyone he thought necessary. Things were mended on that front pretty quickly. We have since left that job and that housing, and so has he. But Louis proved to be one of the best roommates we ever had. He was reliable, fun to be around, and hard working. We consider him one of our close friends now, and are very grateful to have had the experience of living together. Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post, your advice was sound and you all helped me feel much better about the situation, which ended up turning out great. TL;DR: Fried chicken-obsessed roommate expanded his palate. Ended up being one of the best roommates we've ever had. ... >So the girl with the third degree burns, I winced when I read what happened to her. Is she doing alright? She is doing great! Her arm is fully healed and the scarring is surprisingly minimal. She has also moved on from that job and is doing what she loves. She and Louis even had a brief fling in the spring!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/a25ti5/my_23f_roommate_18m_continues_making_fried/) by /u/ballofsnowyoperas*

My [23F] roommate [18M] continues making fried chicken and it makes me very uncomfortable.

r/relationships

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fp0tpt/my_23f_roommate_18m_continues_making_fried/

fpf300

We started out living in the same place, but then I had a move for work, so we’ve been long distance for some time. Finally, I got the opportunity for an internal transfer so we could be in the same place. We picked Dallas, Texas to move to together for various reasons: cost of living, the chance at good in-state tuition for grad school, job opportunities, amount of transplants, weather... Plus, he had some friends already living there. He got a job, got a place, and moved down a few weeks ago. My transfer was just accepted, so I was preparing to move down in another few weeks. He was so happy and excited when at the news (or made a good show of it, if not) and said he couldn’t wait to have me there. I was counting down the days. Cut to today, he says he’s been having a blast reconnecting with his old friends. They’ve been going on benders over the weekends and he’s been living it up at bars and clubs with them, their friends, and their girlfriends. Thing is, I can’t drink. Like, physiologically. I have a genetic mutation that makes my liver unable to metabolize the alcohol so I only feel sick when I drink it instead of good. (Alcohol intolerance aka “Asian glow.” I am Asian and he’s not). Some people who have this condition drink anyway, but I feel so awful when I try, I’ve given up. He says he’s been thinking that we might be happier if we go our separate ways since I can’t drink and he likes to. I’m in shock. He’s known this about me since day 1. I don’t feel like I act weird about it. I get my one drink to hold and sip on throughout the night so I don’t look out of place and I still have fun. I just can’t do multiple rounds or shots. Up to this point, our relationship has revolved around fun activities instead of drinking. He told me that’s been great and he’s done more things than ever, but then he revealed to me that this whole time he’s missed being able to go out and have fun drinking like he has in other relationships. He says he had more fun in past relationships being able to party and share that with them. He says a lot of what people do for fun in Dallas is going out to bars and drinking. He’s going to be doing that. So if I come, I won’t be able to participate and I’ll feel left out and unhappy. We haven’t officially broken up, but the conversation felt pretty final. I’m reeling. Moving to Dallas still makes sense for all the same reasons, and I can afford it just fine, but I didn’t expect to have to do it alone. I’m also feeling discouraged over the idea that I won’t be able to make friends in Dallas if I can’t drink. It’s tapped into a major insecurity of mine. I’ve struggled in the past because the other people who don’t drink either do so for religious or moral reasons, or are the kind of people who don’t like going out altogether, so I don’t connect with them as much. I do like to go out and have a good time. I even go to raves. I just do it sober. But then if I’m in a group that’s drinking, they feel weird if I’m not drinking too. Not gonna lie, it sucks. IME, it actually bothers people. So that makes me feel bad and out of place. But...I can’t help how I was born. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel defective. Now I’m wondering if I should still go through with the move alone?Is this is going to be a major friendship barrier in Dallas? Are there people out there who are outgoing and like to be wild sometimes, but are also sober? Where do I find them? Tl;dr Can’t drink due to genetic condition. Right before we were set to move to a new city together, boyfriend reveals he’s missed being able to drink with his SO and hasn’t had as much fun with me because of it. Says new city has drinking culture he wants to take advantage of and that I won’t be able to make friends there as easily if I move. Don’t know how to feel and afraid he’s right.   [**5 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/coolef/update_boyfriend_25m_wants_to_break_up_because_i/) Long story short, we had a discussion and broke up that week. Not gonna lie, those first couple months were hard. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I was totally unsure what to do next. I was torn between sheepishly asking my company to withdraw the transfer, or going ahead and moving alone to what felt like my ex's city. Either way, the clock was ticking on my apartment lease. The anxiety was keeping me up at night and the lack of sleep only made things worse. On top of that, it was tough knowing that I was probably the only one sad about the breakup while my ex was living his best life, partying with best friends and banging hot chicks, relieved to be rid of me. So...yeah. That felt like shit. In the meantime I threw myself into work to keep my mind off things. That's when things took a crazy turn because one of my projects garnered a lot of attention. It led to me writing a report that made its way to a member of upper management. Lo and behold, a few weeks later a management position opened up that I was uniquely qualified for...and the interviewer was that same person who liked my report. So I got the job! And when they told me that I would need to relocate to our home office in the Bay Area (I work in biotech), I was able to tell them that all my stuff was already packed and ready to go. Thanks, ex! So now, instead of Dallas, I'll be moving to the Bay Area in a few weeks. One of my best friends is coming along for the ride. We're going to make an epic road trip out of it and hit a few national parks along the way. Since we had fully expected to move in together, my SO had taken some of my belongings down with him. I've paid about $500 so far to get my shit shipped back. My kitchen stuff and some pieces of furniture are forfeit. He has yet to return my gaming consoles. We really should have split it, but I knew he'd turn that into a back-and-forth that I didn't want to deal with. Tbh, there's also enough of a difference in our budgets that $500 to me is not as big a deal as $250 would be to him. (It's yet another blessing that we never merged our finances.) I've reminded him a few times about the rest of my stuff and he keeps telling me he'll get it to me. I really don't want to have to come down there with a police escort to take back my property, but it's looking like I might have to. I don't know why he has to make this so difficult, but I'm getting pissed. I know I'll never know his true thinking, but honestly who cares at this point? I've also decided I'm not going to try to date for another year at least. I've been told that my management role is likely to be upgraded to a director role, depending on my performance review. So work will probably take up a lot of my time. Any remaining time I have, I want to fully devote to forming friendships. But most importantly, if you couldn't already tell, it's clear that I have some serious work to do on self-worth and boundaries. FTR, I think it's important to note that it's not like this guy was a deadbeat loser. I know it's easy to think, "Why is this woman dating an asshole?" when you read these posts, but it's rarely that simple. Everyone who met him loved him. We shared a lot of common interests. He was fun to be around, always happy, great to talk to, supportive of my career, a fantastic cook, very organized, came from a great family, had a good job, all of that. However, there's no denying that I was in a long-term relationship with someone who consistently took way more than they gave. Like, on every level. And he himself would admit that. I want to take this time to work on myself so that I never accept that kind of situation again. Buuuuut, when I do decide to put myself out there again, it's the Bay Area. God knows there will be plenty of guys around who also get Asian glow and will understand why I'm not drinking lol Cheers, everyone! 🥂 Tl;dr We broke up. Went through a terrible couple months. Drowned myself in work to cope. Hard work paid off and I landed a major promotion that will take me to the Bay Area instead. Learned an expensive lesson about letting an SO move your things. Hoping he doesn't make me come down there, but I know it's all going to be good in the end. Gonna take the next year to be single and work on myself, but life is looking up.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/b83384/i_26f_and_my_boyfriend_25m_about_to_move_together/) by /u/Confetticandi*

'My boyfriend & I are about to move to a new city when he tells me he’s unhappy that I can’t drink.'

r/relationships

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fpf300/my_boyfriend_i_are_about_to_move_to_a_new_city/

fpme7z

"TIFU By trying to fly my drone at my sisters wedding reception" ​ I wanted to shoot some cool overhead footage at my sisters wedding reception, and it was a pretty windy day. I go for this shot where I start close, and fly out backwards, zooming away from the party. Just as I do this, there's a strong gust of wind that pushes my drone backwards soooo fast I didn't have enough time to react as it went into the trees. ​ Now this is a DJI drone so its got sensors to try and keep distance from objects automatically. The drone kept getting stuck in branches, getting itself out of them, only to fly right into another branch. All while this is going on the whole wedding reception is gasping and moaning because I was sooo close to flying it out of the trees!! All of a sudden it flips over sideways and that was it. ​ SPLOOSH. ​ Into the water below. Yeah. There was a river, forgot to mention that. The drone had tumbled through the branches bouncing off each one just barely slipping out of their clutches, only to meet its ultimate demise into the depths of the river. ​ This was quite the spectacle for everyone at the reception. But it gets worse. ​ As people were coming up to me and sharing their condolences, a few mentioned the same crazy idea, "you gotta go into the water and retrieve it". ​ I'm fully dressed up for this wedding, and realized what that meant. I juggled the idea around in my head for a few minutes before I realized I had already lost my drone, can't get any worse from here. So, I stripped down to my underwear, in front of the whole reception. Everyone was shocked someone was already taking their clothes off despite not having consumed any alcoholic beverages. I stand at the edge of the water, look down, and- ​ "SIR!!! DO NOT JUMP IN THAT WATER!! We have someone on their way to help fish your drone out of the water." ​ You see, the wedding was at a private park, and apparently some of the staff had caught on that I was about to jump into the river, which apparently was off limits. Of course they waited til I had stripped down to tell me someone was on their way. So here I stand, pretty much naked, in front of the whole reception. Everyone is just staring at me dead quiet. All of a sudden my grandma starts laughing and runs to me asking someone to take a picture of us, with me still in my underwear. This was quite the hit, as everyone found themselves wanting to come up and take pictures with me. ​ Shame. Embarrassment. Sorrow. I'm not sure which emotion I felt more, but I had accepted my fate at this point, and had no other choice than to stand there while everyone laughed and took pictures of me, as I was cold and vulnerable. ​ I finally get my clothes back on, when the staff shows up to get the drone out of the water, with a little fishing net. The water was 12ft deep, while the net was like 4ft in length max. ​ And that was it. My drone, along with my dignity, were lost forever that day. ​ TL;DR I stripped down in front of a whole wedding reception to retrieve my drone out of the water. Staff wouldn't allow me to go in the water. Everyone at the reception laughed at me and got pictures taken with me basically naked. ​ **UPDATE**: Because many of you requested pictures and video, here they are: [Drone Crashing Video](https://youtu.be/fKrpoKTfUyo) [Totally embarrassing pictures​](https://i.imgur.com/89RiFXT.jpg)   *[Originally posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/9rw14g/tifu_by_trying_to_fly_my_drone_at_my_sisters/) by /u/KoofNoof* ​

I stripped down in front of a whole wedding reception

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fpme7z/i_stripped_down_in_front_of_a_whole_wedding/

fpzoc6

My wife and I have been married for 4 years. I will call her Abby. We love each other, have a great marriage, and are talking about having kids soon. I really don't have any complaints. BUT, before Abby met me, she was with a guy, Brock, for two years. She said she was madly in love with him but had to leave him because he was verbally abusive. Shortly after she left Brock, she met me, and the rest is history. I thought it went without saying that Abby had forgotten about Brock. However, there have been some odd things that she has said about him that make me nervous, or even a little jealous. She once told me that Brock was so good looking that she had a hard time making eye contact. This was in the context of a conversation about why she put up with his abuse for so long. And when I replayed what she said... She's never said that I was too good looking to look at. It's almost like she said Brock was more attractive, and it hurt. I didn't bring this up though because she sometimes gets upset when I mention Brock. There's also been a few times where she mentioned something that Brock used to do, and she's have this wistful look on her face, almost like she was still enamored with him. This wasn't 100% clear though and it didn't happen often so I let it slide. I have told Abby in the past that I felt a little jealous because Brock seemed like a more attractive man than me, but she assured me that she didn't think of him that way and that she loved me. All this being said, my wife said something a bit odd about Brock two nights ago, and it's been messing with my head. We were sitting on the couch watching Netflix, and Abby had been drinking a bit. We somehow got on the subject of feet, and how we both thought feet were gross and didn't understand why some people liked feet. I held my bare foot up and said something like "can you imagine someone liking my feet, I have gross feet." Abby laughed and agreed that my feet were gross. (This wasn't particularly hurtful, her tone was playful.) Then after a few seconds, Abby said "The only person's feet I would ever consider attractive is Brock's feet. He had the most beautiful feet." As you can imagine, this killed the conversation, but Abby didn't seem to notice. She was staring off into space. I just went back to watching TV. The next morning, when we woke up, she acted like nothing happened. And maybe she really didn't remember, because she was drunk, and it was an offhand remark. But it's been bugging me for the past couple of days. Not just because it was about Brock, but because my feet were ugly, then said his were beautiful. Maybe it's silly but it made me feel really insecure and jealous. Abby has noticed that something is off about me. She asked earlier this morning if something is wrong. I denied it, but... I don't think I can just forget about this like I want to. I'm thinking I will need to sit down with her and talk about the Brock situation. We are cooped up together for the next two weeks at least so that makes things complicated, it's not like one of us can leave if the conversation goes sour. And I hope it doesn't come to that. But... Any advice on how to broach this subject? Should I broach it at all?   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fn2thu/update_my_wife_said_something_strange_about_her/) TL;DR my wife occasionally talks about her ex as though she misses him, and then the other night she said he was the only guy she ever knew with beautiful feet. (Yeah, weird... But also hurtful towards me and my nasty feet.) First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who responded yesterday. Unfortunately I did receive a bit of bizarre advice-- a number of users called my wife an "alpha widow", still others told me to divorce her immediately because she MUST be cheating. I had a few users calling my wife a bitch. This was a sobering reminder that anonymous internet people don't understand the nuances of my marriage, and people tend to project their own insecurities onto other people's situations. So I'd advise anyone considering posting here-- use discretion in what advice you take. (Just to get ahead of some of the speculation, Brock has lived in South Korea for two years, he is prohibited by a court order from contacting Abby, and I have open access to her DMs anyway. If she were cheating, I'd be the first to know.) I also received some great advice about "trauma bonding" and recovering from abusive exes. These responses were the most helpful. All this said, here's what I posted about that night: I was sitting on the bed last night, just kind of brooding, when Abby came in. She sat on the bed next to me and looked at me. She must have known something was up because I haven't been myself these last few days and our bedroom has been dead since the feet comment. Abby asked me if everything was okay. I gave her a weary smile and said no, I suppose not. She frowned and asked if we could talk about it. I sighed heavily and was quiet for a few moments. Abby didn't look nervous or defensive, she looked genuinely concerned. So I figured she must not be aware of how hurtful her Brock comments have been, and I should just be honest. I started by asking if she was willing to be 100% honest with me. She said that she was. So then I asked if she's happy being married to me, and if she'd prefer being with someone else instead. She seemed a little taken aback by the question and said she would never dream of marrying someone else. My voice was shaking the whole time and Abby looked like she was ready to cry, too. Finally I lay everything out. I tell Abby that a few nights ago, we were talking about feet, and she had said that my feet were gross, but Brock's feet were "beautiful." I said maybe it sounds really silly and dumb but that comment made me feel really ugly and it broke my heart. (She gasped and started crying at this point.) I said there's been a few other times where she mentioned Brock and acted like she really missed him, because she sounded enamored when she talked about him. I said I think that Brock was probably a lot more attractive than me and she would have preferred staying with him over me. Abby cried for long time before she was able to say anything. It was probably only two minutes but it felt like forever. She said she didn't realize that she was mentioning Brock that way and upsetting me so much. She said she couldn't imagine marrying anyone else but me. I said "Even though I'm uglier than Brock?" and she started crying again, like really bawling. After she pulled herself together again she admitted that Brock was a very attractive man, and that she had been infatuated with him. (It seemed extremely difficult for her to get those words out.) But Brock had also been controlling and incredibly cruel. She never felt safe or at ease with him, but she did feel safe with me. She said she had married ME, and wanted children with ME, and that she had never even dreamed of marrying Brock, let alone having kids with him. Then we talked about some deeper more personal stuff that I'd rather not go into here.. I did mention some of the trauma bonding stuff that some Redditors had mentioned last night, and Abby admitted that she had felt addicted to the drama while she was with Brock. She agreed to talk with her counselor about her unresolved issues with that past relationship. The conversation took well over an hour and we both cried a lot. But I did feel much better afterwards. We cuddled for a while before I joked that I guess Abby was stuck with my nasty feet for life. She took my head in her hands and said she thought I had the most beautiful feet in the world, because they were mine. We made out and made love for the first time in a week. Maybe that's TMI but I figured a lot of folks here would appreciate a happy ending. So, I guess the issue is largely settled. I do think that maybe I overreacted a little, but my feelings at being (inadvertently) made to feel less attractive were real. I'm glad I didn't second guess my emotions and suppress them. Thank you to everyone who offered advice in the original thread. It seems the situation has been resolved. Edit: though I will add that I still feel a little sad that I am not as attractive as Abby's ex. Not because I'm jealous but because I want to be the best she's ever had in every way, including physically. But I guess I simply have to make peace with the fact that I'm not the most attractive guy Abby has been with. I suppose a lot of us have to make peace with that, huh? Edit 2: I appreciate all your kind words. I would like to add that I do not consider the situation magically over, but I count it as resolved because Abby and I are both moving in the right direction and actively working on fixing this. Thank you to everyone who provided positive input and constructive criticism.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/flew19/my_wife_said_something_strange_about_her_ex_and/) by u/throwRA484uei*

My wife said something strange about her ex, and it's really getting to me

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fpzoc6/my_wife_said_something_strange_about_her_ex_and/

fqmvqx

*First [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5z89q8/my_fiance_may_die_his_sister_wants_half_of_our/) in 2017*   My fiance was in a car accident about a week ago. He has a 50/50 chance of surviving though things have started to look up. His sister is also his birthmother. She got pregnant at 13 (the birth father was 14) and his grandparents adopted him. So legally she is his sister. She has never had any involvement in his life. His adoptive parents died 3 years ago. My fiance and I have 2 children together and own a house. We have been together since we were 13 and are getting married this October. Our house is nearly paid off, and I cant afford to pay half of the house equity to her by myself. I have no idea what to do or if she even has a stake in the house. He is 23 and does not have a will. He also has a life insurance policy that she wants half of. I cant get a lawyer to talk to me without coming in for a $600+ consult. Im hoping someone can give me some kind of direction so I can stop worrying about my children and I becoming homeless and focus on my fiance. This is in Ohio. Thank you!!! Please pray or send good thoughts my fiances way! I will update his condition when I find out more. ... We were engaged and not yet married when he got in an accident. Our children were too young to make medical decisions and his sistermom was legally considered his next of kin since his parents are both deceased. Does anyone know if I can override a DNR from her? There isn't one in place to my knowledge. But im not sure if MIL/SIL or I would take precedence in this situation. We received several threatening letters. One even trying to tell me I had 30 days to move out after my husbands death.   [**1 YEAR LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/70oinr/update_fiance_may_die_sister_wants_half_of_our/) My post got a decent amount of attention. I thought I would update since I still get really sweet messages from people wishing me well/praying for me and my family. My fiance, now husband did pull through! He's currently in our backyard setting up a tent to "camp out" with our 2 and 3 year old boys. He was in a coma for over a month and the doctor's were pretty sure he would never wake up. His recovery was slow and he still goes to physical therapy 4 times a week but he is pretty much back to normal now and we couldn't be happier! It wasn't like the movies where someone in a coma just suddenly opens they're eyes and asks what happened. Which is what I was expecting for some reason. It was very slow. I was sitting next to him eating and started choking. After a coughing fit I grabbed his hand again and he squeezed it softly twice in a row. I knew that that was his way of asking if I was okay and I started bawling because it had been so long I started to fear he would never wake up. Then over the next several days he very slowly started making improvements and came out of it. I actually used a lawyer that PMed me on reddit! He offered his services free of charge and ironically he only lived one town over. He was wonderful! He pretty much told me what everyone on the original thread told me. He went over our deed, life insurance etc.. He discovered there was holes that sistermoms lawyer could exploit but wanted to wait to see what would happen with my husband before we really began to worry. She left a few days after I made the original post, and did not return to visit even after he had woken up. She did sign a DNR. There was nothing I could do, but thank God my husband did not need it. She did try to have us cover her legal costs, she's still threatening us with small claims court but that is still ongoing. We really don't hear much from her because she's currently in jail on possession charges. She was arrested in May and will get out in December. He was appalled by his sisters actions when I finally discussed it with him. We recently both made wills and made sure there is no chance SIL or BIL will get any money if both of us were to pass, or God forbid our children too. We also chose godparents for our children and we are expecting a baby girl in 2018! Although it was a horrible thing to go through it changed both of us for the better. You don't realize how much the small things matter until they're about to be taken from you. I really appreciate all of the sweet thoughtful messages I was sent. They definitely made me feel better on bad days to know how many people were praying for him!

My fiance may die. His sister wants half of our house if he passes.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fqmvqx/my_fiance_may_die_his_sister_wants_half_of_our/

fqwf5j

This has been growing from the ceiling of our basement. We don’t know when it started growing or where it came from. About a week ago we noticed it hanging down and a lot of like residue/large particles from it on the table below. We vacuumed it all away and the next day there was already a quarter of an inch agin. This is what it looks like today. https://i.redd.it/v3efiioivwn41.jpg   **UPDATE** Definitely 100% solved. After reading the responses of termites, we went online to google and searched images and lo and behold it was a match. Previously the searches we tried had yielded the possibility of moths. Guess we weren’t describing it right. The next thing my father did was begin to chip at the ceiling. I’m sure you can figure out that it felt soft there due to the moisture drawing them in. It’s certainly termites and now we have to figure out how to proceed because everyone is out of work right due to the mandates in place in NY. So if anyone has any tips or helpful solutions to dealing with them besides call an exterminator that would be great. Lots of experience in construction so tearing down and rebuilding walls and ceilings is no issue. **UPDATE 2** Yesterday, Saturday, we spent the day working on clearing the area. Directly underneath where that evidence has been growing is a bar. That had to be moved and relocated in the basement for the time being. Today, Sunday, we began to remove the drywall and ceiling to check the extent of what was there. Some good news, to us, I know many will disagree on any good news, is that it does not appear that the termites have traveled very far. There is damage to the left of the area but none to the right. Now, the bad news, which is making my skin crawl, when we began to open the ceiling, ants began to fall out. We opened it more and there were millions of ants. We sprayed down the ants to the best we could using a on contact kill solution purchased at Home Depot. Left the termites alone. We currently have 4 of the terra bait traps that lure them in down for the remaining ants. The exterminator was here yesterday, Monday. He came in and went down to the basement. We had the ceiling and wall pulled off exposing all the wood and we left all the dead insects we had sprayed down on Sunday on the floor. He inspected the dead ones and informed us that they were not ants but we had two different types of termites. He kept repeating to us that it actually wasn’t as bad as we were thinking. He inspected the wood beams and noted that there was damage but it was still structurally sound and the termite damage didn’t not spread much farther than the 5x5 area under the front door. He said that he will treat the wood by spraying into some holes in the wood beams that will expand out through all and any tunnels that they may have made. Says that will kill on contact and make the wood treated undesirable to the termites. Outside he is going to work the perimeter of the house and place traps. Anyway, I hope this reaches those of you that were looking for an update.   *[Original posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/comments/fm4znd/growing_from_the_basement_ceiling_at_a_very_rapid/) by /u/FallAwayAlways*

'What is this thing growing from the basement ceiling?'

r/whatisthisthing

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fqwf5j/what_is_this_thing_growing_from_the_basement/

fr7pr0

Ok so I’m 17 but I’ll be 18 in May and we’re in the UK. My bf and I have been seeing each other for a couple of months and we haven’t had sex yet. Both of us are virgins too. We’ve done some touching and stuff and have been talking about full sex and I think I’m ready but he wants to wait until the day that I turn 18 so that we can Live Stream it on a cam site or somewhere and charge people money for the password. We need to wait for the day I’m 18, because then it’s legal. He thinks we can earn big money and use it towards renting a place for us to live together and buying stuff to go in the place, like massive TV, laptop and more. I’m not sure if I want people to watch us on our first time or even on any time. I’m ready to have sex now. It’s legal for us to have sex as age of consent is 16 in UK but it’s not legal to post nude pics or vids until the age of 18. He doesn’t want to just stream us having sex on the first day that I can be seen naked online, and we have our first time now. He says we’ll get more people if we’re both virgins and he’s already done an advert for it on his computer to start putting up on twitter and reddit (I’m using a Throwaway as we’re both on Reddit. I don’t worry about him recognising this story as I doubt he even knows that there’s more to Reddit than porn). What should I do? I really like him but I’m worried that he’s using me to make money even though he is including me in the ideas about how to spend the money. TL;dr ... My bf wants to wait until I’m 18 for us to lose our virginities together but to stream it live and make lots of money out if it and I’m uneasy about it. I’ve even said I’m ready for sex now but he wants to wait so that he can get more interest from watchers.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fjaptm/update_my_f17_bf_m18_wants_to_live_stream_our/) Thanks everyone for such great advice. You know, I think I knew this all along but wanted to see if it was me that was not thinking right. He’s a total idiot and is addicted to porn. He sees situations in his life happening how they do in porn videos. I dumped him and he cried his eyes out. Saying he loved me and he wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. It was all for me. All that kind of stuff. I don’t buy it though and I’d actually be worried that he’d hide cameras, just like you guys said. Since I posted and since I added the update to my original post, someone else I know told me that he tried to get her to fuck on camera but she wouldn’t do it. She isn’t a virgin though and also not stupid like me! I’m so happy that I’ve seen him for what he is and I can’t thank you all enough for the great advice you’ve given.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fgf1j9/my_f17_boyfriend_m18_wants_our_first_time_to_be/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) by /u/ThrowRA-1stTime4Sale*

My (F17) boyfriend (M18) wants our first time to be Live Streamed

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fr7pr0/my_f17_boyfriend_m18_wants_our_first_time_to_be/

frgkm6

Hyperpigmentation and Malassezia want to kill me 😭😭 Im getting some new products from London brought over ( I live in Ghana) and I’ll be seeing a doctor next week but can anyone recommend any medication or facial treatments to combat this? https://i.imgur.com/pqQVkdP.jpg   [**7 Months Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Skincare_Addiction/comments/fjjw2m/update_on_the_hyperpigmentation_and_malassezia/) My skin isnt perfect, but its better than the face of 7 months ago. So I'm happy. https://i.redd.it/ynot8324z0n41.jpg I used:⁣ - Nizoral shampoo⁣ - Sebamed Clear Face CareGel + Squalane Oil by Ellipsis Labs⁣ - CeraVe Moisturising Cream + Squalane Oil by Ellipsis Labs⁣ Now my squalene oil is finished I use- CeraVe Moisturising Cream + some few drops of coconut oil⁣ I still get some small breakouts mainly due to periods and my addiction to sweets lol, my skin colour has evened out really well and my confidence is back to 100% which means I can get back to one of my favourite hobbies: flirtation Thanks again to everyone for your advice!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Skincare_Addiction/comments/cs2k70/hyperpigmentation_and_malassezia_want_to_kill_me/) by /u/itsbobbl*

Hyperpigmentation and Malassezia want to kill my face

r/Skincare_Addiction

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/frgkm6/hyperpigmentation_and_malassezia_want_to_kill_my/

frvbic

Early in November we went to pick up car parts after work that my friend I'll call Aaron (because his name's Aaron and I think he's being an idiot) had bought on eBay. We had to go through some back roads to get to the property and picked it up and all was well. It'd been raining for part of the day but really picked up when we were loading the parts, and we got to a causeway we'd passed only an hour before but it was now covered in what looked like half a metre of water and we stopped. I'd been navigating and knew we could back up and take another much longer route, even though the highway was just a bit on the other side of the causeway. There was no way I'd go through the water as it looked, but because I'd been caught on a causeway 20 years ago in less water and had my car pushed off into the river I didn't want to risk it. I didn't lose that car but it's one of the scariest moments of my life. I said we had to turn back and could take a different road 10km around but that would take us via a bridge over the same river. Aaron decided to push on and started moving and I panicked and got straight out. It was FAR more water than I'd had to go through when I near lost my car and life before. I got out well before the water though so I didn't let water in the car btw. Aaron didn't even get halfway across and the water pushed his car off the side, rolled it completely over and it ended upright on the bank 50m downstream. He was EXTREMELY lucky not to drown, and I ran down & helped him out. Immediately he was aggressive and combative because he said with my weight in the car he'd have made it across. Admittedly I'm 130kg+ but his car is a 1650kg commodore wagon with a couple hundred kg of eBay parts in the back so it's not like I'd have made much difference. We phoned for help and the river went down within an hour and made it across the causeway by foot. We haven't spoken since and he's avoided me in places we usually go. But on Friday I received a letter from a lawyer I know is real in our town, but sounds like it was written by my friend. It's asking for $50k for the car and personal damages because I made the car unsafe by getting out. It was a 1997 commodore, maybe worth $1500 on a good day. Someone reassure me, it's not up to me to sit in someone's car when they're doing something dumb is it?   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/a59vck/update_nsw_australia_last_month_a_friend_began_to/) I went to a lawyer my parents had used a few years ago and they recommended. She took one look at the letter from my friend Aaron's lawyers and said she has concerns about it, and she'd respond. She contacted his lawyer, and my lawyer mailed me to tell me Aaron's lawyers aren't his lawyers at all, but to contact her if I heard more otherwise no need for more action. Aaron had apparently faked up the letter and admitted as much to me yesterday when he finally decided to talk to me. He wants me to retract my complaint to his lawyers about him using their letterhead. I hadn't complained to them myself so I did the time honoured thing and told him to go pound sand, but it might have rhymed with 'go eat a bag of dicks'.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/a2bj15/nsw_australia_last_month_a_friend_began_to_cross/) in 2019 by /u/floodweight*

Last month a friend began to cross a flooded river in his car with me in it. I jumped out, now have a letter from his lawyer asking for damages

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/frvbic/last_month_a_friend_began_to_cross_a_flooded/

fs2skb

So few months ago I(19M) was hanging out with my brother(16M), I was looking through some photos we took in his phone and he was doing something else. I came across photo of some guy, which was taken in his room and asked him who he was. He didn’t even look at the phone or stop what he was doing and said that it was his boyfriend. I thought he was joking so I just chuckled and said okay. Few months pass and he doesn’t mention anything about it. 3 days ago we were hanging out in living room and our parents were in kitchen. I jokingly asked how his boyfriend was doing. Our parents heard it, looked at us and asked “a what?!”.(they’re not homophobic by the way, they’re supportive, they were just surprised)My brother got like completely what, threw controller at me and went to his room. He refuses to talk to me and just ignores me when I say anything to him.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/fm30s2/update_i_accidentally_outed_my_brother/) Hey, thanks for all the responses to my last post. Some people asked me to post an update so here it is. I baked his favorite cookies that turned into solid rock for some reason but the idea was there. I slid $20 under his door, talked to him,apologized and we played some video games together. He facetimed his boyfriend and I got to talk to him too. So everything’s good between us. :) >Hey OP you didn’t tell us what the parents said and how they are handling it. They’re handling it great. They talked to him too and told him that they’ll love and support him no matter what.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/flrbqx/i_accidentally_outed_my_brother/) by /u/getoutofm*

I accidentally outed my brother

r/askgaybros

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fs2skb/i_accidentally_outed_my_brother/

fsgxga

I (34F) have been happily married to my husband (41M) for 5 years. We've got 3 kids. Together we've made a family and help each other's dreams come true - both life goals and careers. We lead a generally charmed life. But like all relationships, none is completely perfect. We have different love languages, words of affirmation (mine) and acts of service (his). For the most part we overcome this by making a bit of extra effort to speak each other's love language. I do some of his chores during the week. He occasionally pays me a compliment (maybe 3 times a week). ​ However, the trouble started after we'd had our 3rd child. We hadn't had sex for 9 months and when I brought it up, he was shocked! He could hardly believe it had been that long, but when he looked back he could see it was true. We had sex once after that conversation, and then nothing again for a few months. About 6 months after our baby was born, I started to feel really down about the way I looked. I hadn't lost all of my pregnancy weight (about 1kg over, but still totally within the normal BMI range). I felt fat and flabby and saggy. I tried to mask over this insecurity by just ignoring it for a while as I'm generally bubbly and confident, but the lack of sex made me seriously doubt whether my husband was even still into me. Google didn't help. All I could find were either stories of men who wanted more sex than their wife (I wish, ha!) or people telling women their husband wasn't into them anymore. All of this is complicated by the fact that I can't be the one to initiate sex as this can turn him off. And I also didn't want to pressure him into sex so I just for the most part tried to make myself as attractive as possible and then wait for him to notice. It all came to a head one night when I burst into tears and confessed all my struggles to him. He was very sympathetic and also worried because of course he wants me to be happy. He explained that he just has low libido, nothing to do with me, and that as far as he's concerned he'd happily never have sex again in his life!!! Not that he didn't enjoy it or anything but he could live without sex no problem. He realised as a result of this conversation that I didn't feel the same way and he'd make an effort to initiate sex more often. Since then things have improved a lot, we have sex 1-2 times a month now. And we both enjoy it tremendously! ​ But I still feel like I want more sex. And I still feel unattractive. Past partners couldn't get enough of me, they were always telling me how sexy I was, kissed me every day, looked at me like they wanted me, etc. I have always been treated like a sex goddess. He rarely even looks at me. I am only 34 - I feel too young to be "shelved" like this!!! Frankly I don't know if I'll ever want to be "shelved" but definitely not in my 30s! I am frustrated that I can't talk myself out of feeling this way no matter how much I try. I am happily married. I am off the market. I shouldn't care whether or not I am attractive! It should be enough to know that my husband finds me attractive even though he never says so and only has sex 1-2 times a month. This should be enough and it's already 10x more than before. ​ But I can't stop my feelings. I miss sex. I hate what I see in the mirror almost every day and I never used to be like that. I want to feel like a goddess again! ​ Any advice? Any way to make myself feel better without asking my husband to change? ​ TL;DR: We have sex 1-2 times a month. Husband rarely gives me compliments. I feel unattractive. I want to feel like a goddess. Advice please. ​ Update: Wow, I am so glad Reddit exists! Thank you so much for all your thoughts and suggestions! My husband and I had a good conversation about everything and we'll be taking the following steps: 1. Start sleeping in the same bed again. I didn't mention it in the original post but we've been bedsharing with kids in separate beds and clearly the time has come to evict the kids from our bedroom. :) 1. He is going to see the doctor to exclude any possible physiological reasons. For example, low libido can be a symptom of heart disease and he's at an increased risk of that. Wouldn't hurt to test his testosterone levels either. 1. We're going to hit the gym together - he'll go swimming, and I'll lift weights. 1. If doing those 3 things is still not enough, we will go to therapy. Either as a couple or me on my own, or both, depending on how things pan out. ​ Thanks again!   [**9 Months Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/fn8n1t/update_i_34f_feel_unattractive_and_my_husband_41m/) I posted last summer about struggles with my husband of 5 years, our longest dry spell being 9 months. I felt unattractive and undesirable, and wanted to have sex more often, but he was happy to never have sex again (aside from how that would affect me). I wanted to feel like a sex Goddess again. Reddit advised me all kinds of things, from checking testosterone, to therapy, and even that there was no hope and if I wanted to feel like a Goddess again, I'd have to leave him. The [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/c96jun/i_34f_feel_unattractive_and_my_husband_41m_of_5/estjlke?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x) that hit me hardest was by u/jimmyjrdanceparty who pointed out that I was allowed to feel the way I did. Well, I feel like a Goddess again, everyone! :D What happened? I decided to go to individual therapy, and focus on myself, work on myself. My physical self-image was a symptom of a larger problem. Troubles at work, troubles at home, a storm inside. During counselling, I opened the door to a cellar where I had been keeping my true self locked in the dark - ashamed of her. I was bullied as a kid, and I had no idea I had accumulated so much self-loathing since then. Releasing that was amazing and so freeing! And so, by the time I said goodbye to my counsellor, I was stronger and more self-assured. I realised I had been sacrificing so much of myself for the sake of others (especially the important men in my life - my husband, my boss, my father, my manager, etc). I was constantly seeking approval, trying to please them. My relationships had gotten completely out of balance. Things started to get complicated. I developed a crush on a colleague, and because I am demisexual, my attraction to my husband started to diminish. The more time passed the more I felt like I just didn't care anymore what he thought of me. At a low point, I said to my husband: "You know, you always keep your thoughts to yourself. I used to find it mysterious and interesting - like a puzzle I could unwrap. But now I realise that there's actually no mystery to unravel. There's just nothing. And the silence is boring." It was hurtful and unkind. I'm not proud of it. Something changed after that. Both for him, and for me. Over the course of the next few months I gave less, and I took more. I went to conferences, I left the kids with my husband, I took time off work, I stopped making up for the mistakes of my superiors at work and let them deal with the consequences of their actions. I felt like I was coming home to my true self - my no nonsense kickass self. One night my husband and I were watching Alien, and he confessed that ever since he'd seen the original as a boy, he'd really liked Ripley. She was the kind of woman he had wanted to marry. And so he married me. You should've seen my face, the tears wouldn't stop. I felt like he had finally told me what I needed to hear the most. I got rid of my attraction to my colleague. It's actually not that hard as a demi, I just focused on everything I didn't like about them, and within a week or two the crush was totally gone. I find them a total turn-off now. Do you remember I mention I wasn't able to initiate sex? That's because it was a huge turn-off for my husband. One evening we discussed why, and you know what? He felt too much pressure if I initiated, because he thought he'd have to perform. Once he realised that he can safely turn me down if he's not in the mood - and also that's it's OK for us to kiss and cuddle without it leading to something more - he's been OK with me initiating. You'd think you wouldn't get to age 40 without having figured that out, but hey... I guess people never cease to throw surprises!? Haha! Our sex life improved a lot. I no longer needed his praise to sooth my self-loathing, so I was less needy about it. He initiated a bit more often. But more importantly, with greater enthusiasm and quality! He chooses what I wear sometimes - and I feel so beautiful when he looks at me like I am the only being that matters. And he compliments me! We even got into a bit of light D/s, which has spiced things up a lot! Even though I had fallen out of love with him for a while, I have fallen back in love with my husband stronger and harder than ever before!! I couldn't be happier, I love myself, and I love him so SO much!! He's just the best partner I could ever wish for! <3 Thank you reddit for helping me through one of the hardest lows in my life, and thank you especially jimmyjrdanceparty for your advice and encouragement. TLDR: I felt unattractive and my husband didn't want sex. I went to a counsellor. I stopped self-loathing. Husband and I fell back in love again & have great sex.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/fn8n1t/update_i_34f_feel_unattractive_and_my_husband_41m/) by /u/DemiSeren*

I (34F) feel unattractive and my husband (41M) of 5 years has low libido

r/relationships

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fsgxga/i_34f_feel_unattractive_and_my_husband_41m_of_5/

fsno0g

Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily. Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up. I've never been so proud.   **UPDATE:** So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/dqr1vl/my_86yearold_grandmother_replied_ok_boomer_to_my/) in r/teenagers by u/Lord_Janet*

My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument

r/teenagers

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fsno0g/my_86yearold_grandmother_replied_ok_boomer_to_my/

fsozkl

Throwaway, my girlfriend and roommate reddit. My last class of the day was cancelled, so I decided to come home and surprise my girlfriend. I went to the store and grabbed everything to make her favorite meal (lasagna). I was carrying the bags up the stairs and put them down in front of the door to fish my keys out of my pocket and then I heard my girlfriend moaning. I thought that she was "taking care of herself" because I know that she likes to do that sometimes when I'm not around, so I didn't have a sudden "ah-ha" moment or anything. I walked in and there were her and my roommate on the couch. I opened the door and kind of just froze when I saw it. She looked up and me and he turned around and saw it was me, and I just saw red. As much as I wanted to, I didn't kick his ass. I just dropped the bags and walked away. As I was getting into my car, they both came running out and yelling at me to stop, but I just floored it and got out of there as quickly as I could. I called my best friend and talked to him about it. He offered to come kick his ass, I told him no. I didn't want him to get in trouble from it. I even had the engagement ring that I planned to use to propose to her this summer when we went on vacation. It's in my safe that I keep in the closet, so I know that she doesn't know about it. But I planned to spend the REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER! Why didn't I see this coming? My last class was supposed to start at 12, but since it was cancelled, I was home by 12.30. So it's been 4+ hours. My phone has been blowing up from both of them, I haven't looked at any of the messages or answered any of the calls. I called my bank and made sure that she wasn't on any of my accounts for anything. I'm going to go back later tonight and pack up all of her stuff and drop it off at her place tomorrow. Then I'll probably take a bag of clothes to my friend's house and stay there until school ends (3 weeks). What do I do next? **tl;dr**: Found girlfriend having sex with my roommate. I left. Already made sure she wasn't on my bank accounts. Had no contact with either of them. Have a place to stay until school ends. *EDIT: I'm at my best friends house. Him and his sister have been super awesome to me. Their doorbell rang about 5 minutes ago. It was her. His sister bitched her out. I wanted to go yell at her, but I started drinking fireball instead. It's going to be a long couple weeks until school gets out.*   **Update (in Original Post)** First, I want to thank each and every one of you who have given me advice, offered me an ear to rant/yell to or offered me a shoulder to cry on. After my first edit, many of you messaged me and asked me not to drink/that I was better than that/that this wasn't the thing to do. I sincerely appreciate that. My friend and his sister took me out to dinner to try to get my mind off of everything. At first, I wasn't really up to going, but I figured that it would be better to try to focus my mind on something different. My friends called up a couple of my other friends, and the 6 of us went out to dinner. At first, I wasn't really into it, I was kind of down, but my friends did anything and everything that they could to cheer me up. I can honestly say that I love my friends and everything that they've done for me. My best friend's sister (Emily) went through all the messages on my phone from the both of them and deleted anything that didn't need to be on there. She texted both of them from my phone telling them that it was her that was texting, and told her that a friend would be by at a certain time to pick up my stuff tomorrow, and she told him that I would be by tomorrow to grab some things and that I was going to try to get out of the lease by talking to my landlord. I want you all to know that I've read through each and every one of these comments, and that I've read through every message that's been sent to me on here. I plan on replying to a couple tonight or tomorrow (I'm really tired, but wanted to let you all know how much you've helped me). Finally, to the people that have been in the same position as I'm currently in, or to those that have been in a situation even relatively similar, I have a couple things. First, none of what your ex-SO did, says anything about you. It tells what kind of person THEY are; your reactions tell the kind of person that you are. Secondly, all of you are MUCH stronger than you realize. Many of you have given me such amazing advice, and you know exactly where I'm coming from. Talking about it isn't always the easiest, and many of you did to try to help an internet stranger, so thank you. Finally, many of you have much greater things to look forward to. Like one of old teachers said, "it's like moving on to the next book in the sequence. Yeah, you may have to wait a little bit for the author to release it, but it's worth the wait." Also, to the kind individual that gave me gold, thank you. I plan on donating $5 tomorrow to a charity because of you. For anybody else that would like to, pick your favorite charity, and donate, or just do something nice for somebody else, it can have a huge impact on their life.   [**Update 1**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/33aypy/update_i_22m_just_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend_21f/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=relationships&utm_content=t3_36j7ta) First, I want to thank everybody for the help and many kind words that were sent my way. Seriously, thank you. I'll start with what happened afterwards, and work my way up to today, and that's the only reason that I'm making an update only a week later. Emily (my best friend's sister), texted both of them informing them informing that I'd be coming by to get stuff (Emily would be going to my ex-SO's). I went with my best friend (Trevor) and Emily to get some stuff from my apartment, my roommate wasn't there, but he left me a note saying that he's sorry, and attempting to explain the situation. I threw it away (after reading it), grabbed some stuff and loaded it into my car. I drove back to their house while the two of them then went to my ex's apartment to grab my stuff. My ex was there and at first, she wouldn't let them in. She yelled at them to go away through the door, and after about 15 minutes of them sitting there, she eventually opened up and let them in to collect my things. They grabbed my PS4, movies, cookware, clothes and some random other things. She cried the whole time and asked them if they would tell me that "she's sorry", "it was a one time thing", "I would do anything to change it." They didn't say a word, although she was crying into an older hoodie of mine, so they left that there. I'm not too torn up about that. I told a few select friends what happened, and asked if they would watch the doors to my classroom when I had classes as I didn't want to cause a scene. Nothing on Wednesday, but she stood outside one of my teaching classes on Thursday. I went in through a different door, and thankfully she didn't see me. Friday is the day that really upsets me. As I said in the last post (in a reply), I'm an Education Major and I have my practicums this semester. Our Education building has two floors, and the 1st floor is a laboratory school (an elementary school that has a lot of Education students come in and do their practicums, or observations), while the 2nd floor has classrooms for Education students. My practicum is with 3rd graders, and she stood OUTSIDE the door to my 3rd grade classroom waiting for me (we have name tags, and only have to show those to the desk to get in). She used to be an education major, but switched majors, therefore it wasn't too uncommon for her to be in there. I saw her and my heart immediately sank. I decided to just walk by her and ignore her. She saw me and started crying and trying to talk to me. I didn't say a word, but just walked into the classroom. My cooperating teacher asked her to leave, but all my students that were there had already seen it. They started bombarding me with questions, but I just stuck with, "It's nothing important right now. We can talk about it later, but we need to focus on our learning right now." But honestly, it killed me inside. I explained the situation to my cooperating teacher, and asked her to watch out for if she came back again. She said that she would and would ask her to leave if she saw her again. I received a few text messages this weekend from her (and her roommate - that was extremely annoying), I got an insane amount of phone calls, and I got a ton of Facebook messages. Trevor and Emily also received quite a few as well. I worked all weekend, and threw myself into lesson plans and projects due. I also went and played a round of golf with some friends. Today is really why I'm updating. I got a text from my ex at around 7.15p. She told me that she was pregnant and that it was mine. I screenshotted the conversation. I'm trying to stay calm, but if she truly is pregnant (and the baby is mine), then that throws a whole wrench into everything. Can anybody give me some advice on what to do next? I'm trying to remain as calm as I can, but this is really big and I'm starting to freak out. Thank you all! Here's the text conversation: *Her: I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry that I messed up our future, but I think that we just got a second chance. I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I'm pregnant. Maybe this is why I made my mistake.* *Me: You can't use a pregnancy to explain cheating, it doesn't work like that. I want a pregnancy test. Not one from the store, but to actually go to the doctor and have them do that. If it turns out that you are pregnant, then I want a paternity test.* *Her: Fine. I'll call the doctor tomorrow and set up an appointment. But if I am pregnant, can we have a second chance?* *Me: No. All I want to know from you is when and where the appointment is.* She seems to calm for this to this to just be a joke. She's been bat-shit crazy for almost the past week, and now she's extremely calm. I'm honestly extremely scared. **tl;dr: Ex-SO waits outside my classroom for me and says that she's pregnant. What do I do next?**   [**Update 2**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/36j7ta/update2_i_22m_just_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend_21f/) Hey everybody. I've been asked multiple times for an update, but it's been super busy, and I actually have a little time today, so I thought I would update everybody on my situation. My ex made a doctor's appointment for a couple of days after my last post. She sent me a text with the date and time, and asked me if I would be going with her; I told her that I wouldn't but that I wanted Emily to go with her. She straight up refused and said this was "our baby" and that if I didn't go, she would cancel the appointment and wait until I was ready to go. We argued for a little bit until I gave in. I told her that I would meet her there, and I would stay for the entire thing, but I was going to be stone silent the whole time unless the doctor asked me a question. Her appointment was at 9.15 that morning, I showed up at 9.10 and sat across from her in the waiting room. The doctor called her back a couple of minutes later. They talked for a couple of minutes, she asked her some questions, and then she had her go to the restroom to pee in a cup (I made sure that her purse and everything stayed in the room - somebody warned me she would be crazy enough to buy a pregnant woman's pee and use that instead). After she gave the cup to the doctor, the doctor left and then she tried to talk to me. I sat there and ignored her and texted my friends until the doctor came back and confirmed that she was pregnant. I started shaking and tried to control my breathing, but my ex was so excited, and the doctor was excited with her. Then came the ultrasound, and my ex was roughly 11 weeks pregnant. After a couple of minutes, I excused myself and left. I texted her as I was leaving that before anything else happens, we're having a paternity test. First off, Noninvasive Prenatal Testing is super expensive. I told her that I would pay for half, but that if the child wasn't mine, then she would have to pay me back for that. She told me that her parents were willing to pay for it. Her parents have more money than I would know what to do with. Like... millionaries money. I told her that my ex-roommate was taking the test as well. She said that he didn't need to and I snapped saying that, "I guess I can wait another 6 months. Because they won't put my name on the birth certificate until they prove I'm the father." She finally agreed with me and made him take the test as well. There's a place around here that actually specializes in DNA testing, so we were able to get in just a couple days later. SHE BROUGHT HER MOM WITH HER! They told us that they would have the results in 10 days and that we could come pick them up or they could mail them to us, we said we would pick them up in person. I was too nervous to go to the results. Emily and Trevor both went in place for me. According to them, my ex wasn't happy that I wasn't there and almost refused to let them see the results, but her mom told her that she could understand why I didn't want to be there. I'll never forget that phone call from Emily E (Emily): Hey! M (Me): Well...? E: You're not the dad! You should have seen the look on your ex-roommate's face though! **He's the dad, I didn't make this clear. Sorry!** *At this point I squealed like a little girl.* My ex attempted to text me later and I just ignored all of them. Both of her parents did text me though saying that they wish me well with teaching. That really meant a lot to me. As for other things in my personal life... I've gotten a new apartment over by Trevor and Emily. My ex doesn't know where I live at the moment, her number is blocked, she's blocked on facebook, and everything else that I could think of to block her on. I've joined a summer baseball league and I play for that 2 times a week. I'm volunteering in the preschool classrooms on campus in the mornings. My job is giving me more hours (requested). I'm taking 3 summer classes, and I'm the ASL tutor for the summer classes now that they have started. I also bought a bike, and now I ride that daily as well. I also got a kitty. His name is Jasper. And I read a lot more now. I realize that I wasn't reading as much as I normally did while I was with my ex, but I've gotten back to reading! My friends are saying that I'm too busy now and that I have even less time than I did when I was with my ex. I like that. The busier I stay, the less I think about her, and the happier I am. There's a week between the summer classes that I'm tutoring this summer, and Emily, Trevor, Emily's best friend and I are going on a 5 day hiking/camping trip. I want to say thank you for everybody that helped me through this. The support that you've all given me has really helped me. There are still the people that are saying "This isn't true", but I'm receiving a lot more positive support than negative. No, Emily and I are not going to date. For the many people that have asked, I'm sorry to disappoint you and say that we're not. I don't see her in a romantic way, and I plan on staying single for a while. I'll be finishing up my BS in Elementary Education this upcoming school year, and then I still need to decide whether to continue schooling and pursue my MS in Deaf Education and Deaf Studies, or whether I should start teaching. **I'm sorry, I had to take the link down of Jasper. I was reminded that you are not allowed to post links.** **tl;dr: She is pregnant! But I'm NOT THE DAD! Now to move on with my life**   Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/32m5lj/i_22m_just_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend_21f_of_7/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=relationships&utm_content=t3_36j7ta) by u/Nowwhat8989

I (22M) just walked in on my girlfriend (21F) of 7 years having sex with my roommate (22M).

r/relationships

Claystarfire

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fsozkl/i_22m_just_walked_in_on_my_girlfriend_21f_of_7/

ft2j56

So 4 years ago I bought a new car, originally financed through Ford Financial Services. I came into some cash 6 months ago and decided to use it to pay off the car and a few other debts I had to lower my monthly money out. I received the title, all was good until last week. Woke up to my car being gone, first I called my father who has a spare key to the car to see if for some reason he took the car without telling me and he didn't. I called the cops who came out and they informed me they were notified of a repossession on the car and told me which tow/recovery company called in the car. I called them up and they tell me sorry, not their problem they have all the paperwork from the finance company (Different bank, not even Ford Financial). So I start calling the bank who was never involved with my car or the loan and they tell me I'm outstanding by over 5 months non-payment. I send them a copy of the title and tell them I paid the car off 6 months ago. They dont care. The police won't let me file a stolen vehicle report because the tow company sent them all the repossession paperwork (paperwork that they won't provide to me). I called Ford and they tell me they closed out the loan upon receiving my payment and sent me the title. I asked them to send me some sort of paperwork to show I paid off the loan and they said they can mail it to me. This helps me possibly but a couple days ago I received a 10 day letter notice that my car is going to auction and where to retrieve property that was left in the car. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone because some random bank never associated with my loan has effectively stolen my car legally and is going to auction it. What do I do here? I can't file a stolen vehicle report because of the repossession paperwork, can I just show up to the auction with the title and take my car with the keys I have since its effectively my car because I have the title or will that cause an issue? I live in Texas, the auto auction yard is literally like 2 miles from me and I've gone and seen my car sitting out back. If I go take it is it going to cause me potential legal issues? I don't see how because it's my car   [**2 Months Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ec1d4t/update_car_illegally_repossessedstolen_by_bank/) Thanks for everyone's advice, it took about 2 months to resolve but as of yesterday I finally have my car back. This was the biggest pain in the ass I've had to deal with ever, I went to the local PD again to talk to someone else other than the front desk and a fraud detective finally took a meeting with me 2 days later assuming it was a fraudulent title loan that caused my car to be repossessed but after he looked into it he concluded it has to be a bank error and went with me down to the auction yard the car was parked in. The auction place actually has procedures in place for this (surprisingly this isn't as uncommon as you would think which to me is horrible). They placed the car on a do not advertise/sell list and pointed me to the bar phone number to find an attorney. They couldn't just give me the car and the detective with me said until the paperwork is proven invalid he cannot really do much, even though he checked with the DMV and said my title is valid. He explained that technically my car is not stolen even though it isn't in my possession. Odd but at least he took the time to check into all this quickly. I asked him what legal issues I would have run into if I would have just came at night and taken my car back and he recommended against it. While I may be right in taking it I probably would have more legal issues to deal with that just are not worth the time and money it would take to resolve. I called the number and was given 3 attorneys and met with with two of them and the second agreed to work with no money down for a retainer and he started sending letters to all the banks, the tow company and the auction yard. I went and rented a car from a place he works with so I would have no out of pocket expenses which was great because renting cars is expensive. The bank that had my car repossessed that had nothing to do with my loan decided their best move was to fight this and responded saying basically that they will come after me for all fees associated with it being held by the auction yard now and that I should stop perusing this because they are right. Later I found out this is just their common response to repossession attorneys and they don't even look into matters right away. The auction place responded saying the car will be held securely by them and that they will not release the car to anyone until this is resolved. They were actually really nice and called me asking if I wanted them to turn it on weekly, and that they would keep fresh gas in it and put it towards the bill for holding it. After a bunch of letters back and forth between the bank that was wrong they did a 180 and said they would not be perusing any further action and they would contact the yard to say they can release it to me. I guess it took about a month and a half for them to finally look into it and realize they were entirely wrong. They didn't want to pay the yard fees for storage or my rental, lost days of work I had to deal with this etc so I didn't go get my car. It took my attorney finally setting a court date to get them to pay what we were asking. The two questions I wanted answered before we settled was why did they even think they had a right to my car and what went wrong for them to take the car without any checks in place. They never did answer these and instead decided to continue to be asses and said since they've accepted a settlement that any further fees incurred are my responsibility should I not accept immediately. So I now have my car back and have settled with the bank, the tow company however is still an ongoing legal process because during my lawyers investigation it appears their paperwork was not what's legally required in the state of Texas to take a vehicle and when they notified the police of a repossession they lied. This one will be a bit longer because it's not just us and them and now state regulators have been notified and issued a notice of investigation and have requested paperwork and such from both of us. I now have cleaned out my garage finally and keep my car inside overnight, thanks for the advice and help. Its ridiculous that this is common enough that the auction place has procedures in place for illegal repossessions. I recommend you keep your cars in your garage if possible.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ddaea5/i_paid_off_my_car_6_months_ago_have_full_title/) by u/kooperjim889*

I paid off my car 6 months ago, have full title but my car was "repossessed"/stolen by bank last week.

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ft2j56/i_paid_off_my_car_6_months_ago_have_full_title/

ft3u7f

http://i.imgur.com/BKcd33U.jpg   [**2 Years Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/comments/fssh6q/i_got_a_little_internet_famous_for_the_picture_on/) https://i.redd.it/7etew0qsu4q41.jpg   *[I took this picture for April Fools'](https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/comments/63afsa/i_took_this_picture_for_april_fools/) originally posted by u/trevdak2*

I love sharing my hobbies with my kids

r/Beekeeping

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ft3u7f/i_love_sharing_my_hobbies_with_my_kids/

ft8mp4

I've been with my boyfriend (M25) for three years. We both just finished school, and are finally ready for marriage. He proposed last week and I happily said yes. I could not be happier. I love him and he is going to be an awesome dad someday. But my bf is very new school and my dad is kind of old school. My dad was beyond mad that my boyfriend did not ask my dad for my hand before proposing. My dad said he was willing to hear my boyfriend's apology if my boyfriend formally asks for my hand at a dinner that my dad said he will pay for at the restaurant of my boyfriend's choosing. My dad feels like he is being very accommodating. He will bring my boyfriend's favorite wine to celebrate. I spoke to my boyfriend last night and he won't budge. He doesn't believe in that tradition. My boyfriend showed me an article online where a Pakistani woman was stoned to death outside a courthouse because she married a man against her family's wishes. This just happened. My boyfriend who witnessed his father be abusive/possessive with his mom as a child has always felt strongly that women are not property. He thinks the tradition of asking for her had is repulsive. His point is that he's met my whole family, and gotten to know them. He says they have always known his intentions and he never made it secret that he was in love with me and wanted to marry me and have children. He feels he was done enough to announce his intentions and all of them seemed to "approve" of him. He says that at this point he only needs my approval to marry him and nobody else's. So yesterday my mom told me that my dad who is not even speaking to me because I won't set my foot down with my boyfriend is calling the whole family and telling them to not attend my wedding. My mom says that my boyfriend is the one treating me like property by not letting me have a say in his decision to not observe a tradition that my two older sisters' husbands observed. I told my mother that I understand where my boyfriend is coming from and that I have decided to do away with the tradition of him asking for my hand. So my mother is obviously mad and said that I should be ready for serious consequences. I asked her what and she would not say. But from talking to my sister she said that they would black ball us from all family gatherings. My two sister's and my mom have told me my boyfriend is being selfish. The wedding is set for August 9th. I'm worried that nobody in my family will attend my wedding. EDIT: I'm getting some comments about my boyfriend asking for my parents' "blessing" instead of "permission," or "hand." I just can't see the difference. There might be one but I don't see it. Is there a big difference? tl;dr: My boyfriend won't ask my dad for my hand in marriage, and my parents is having my family boycott my wedding and threatening other "consequences."   [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4potyb/update_my25_bf28_wont_ask_for_my_hand_in_marriage/) The wedding went on as planned. My parents stuck to their guns and boycotted. One of my two sisters attended and is now happily blacklisted from our family. Nobody else from my entire family showed up including my two brothers. The wedding was a little unconventional. My sister walked my husband down the aisle and then his sister walked me down the aisle. I wanted this because my SIL actually introduced us and helped me get my first date with him. There was no questioned about who gives away the bride or even about objections. It was normal other than that. There has been no contact between me and my family, other than my one sister. My mother has made it a point to send me a card every time that they have a family gathering for holidays or birthdays at their house to let me know that my father says I'm not invited. I get one almost every month. I don't even read them anymore I just toss them. I don't why they keep sending them because I've made no effort to contact them and I live over three hours away so it's not like I will run into them by accident. The reason I came back to post this here is because some people here made a prediction that came true (that they would come crawling back when we had children). I am now expecting our first child, a girl :). She will be the first grandchild for my parents. My parents found out about the pregnancy a few months ago through a family friend. They didn't waste anytime in making demands, not requests, demands. My boyfriend and I are not religious but I had a Catholic upbringing. I don't practice at all by choice. My mother called me back in April telling me that my father wanted our daughter's middle name to be his mother's first name. I said no. My father was listening in on speaker so I went ahead and told them that they were officially uninvited from all birthdays, graduations, and any other important dates in her life. My father called me half an hour later crying and begging me to come stay with them for the birth so my mother could care for me. I said no. He also said that he had already made arrangements for his priest could baptize her at his church but that I needed to agree to naming her after his mother if I wanted this to happen. He said he'd already planned a big celebration for the birth and the baptism that he was paying for. I said no to all of it. He went from meekly trying to sweet talk me to raising his voice at me and I hung up. He called a couple of more times to apologize for losing his temper and again beg me to reconsider giving birth at a hospital near them so they could visit us. He denied having any knowledge of my mother sending me cards to uninvite us to any family functions and even said that he specifically asked her to invite us but he was told I declined every time. He lets my mom do the dirty work so he can later hide behind her and deny he had any knowledge. He's done this since I was a little girl. He does this every time he wants to drop the hammer on somebody but be the good cop also. He'll never change. He denied having any knowledge of why anybody in the family missed my wedding. I told him our daughter would not be baptized, or catholic at all (no offense to Catholics). I told him he was too manipulative and controlling and I didn't want my daughter exposed to that. He's too toxic and just venomous. Coincidentally, the day and for several days after that phone call I got tons of calls and emails from my brothers, their wives, my sister, and all my aunts. They all wanted to apologize for missing my wedding, and all had specific excuses, and wanted to make plans to be there for my daughter's birth. I banned them all from her life until she's old enough to decide for herself to let them in. My husband was a little surprised and not sure about banning everybody forever. He's more leaning towards supervised visits if they want to drive to us. My dad has been calling him like crazy but we are a united front. My husband is deferring to me but giving me ideas as to how I can give a little if I decide to. But with my family there's no giving a little. They want it all. For now, they're all banned. I will reconsider when the youngest of our children turns 18 :). For now my dad will have to settle for sucking up to my husband while I stick to my guns. Unlike him, I don't mind owning my decisions even if it means I'm bad cop. I'm not ready to give up a relatively drama free, stress free life to allow my dad and all his sheep back into our lives. **tl;dr**: Nobody in my family showed up to our wedding other than one of my sisters. Everyone is banned from our lives.   Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/26pydf/my_bf_m25_wont_ask_for_my_hand_and_my_dad_m48_is/) by u/throwawayandpanic

My BF (M25) won't ask for my hand, and my dad (M48) is staging a family boycott of my wedding. Is my boyfriend being selfish?

r/relationships

Claystarfire

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ft8mp4/my_bf_m25_wont_ask_for_my_hand_and_my_dad_m48_is/

ftp1e0

My Dad was 56 and my mom was 46 when me and my twin sister were born. My dad died in 2007 when my twin sister and I were 12. He had been a heavy drinker and smoker since he was 10, passing at 69 following decades of very poor health so it was mostly a relief when he died. My mom and dad were married since 1973 and tried for many years to have children until they had my sister and I in 1994. My mom only has us but my dad had a son from a prior marriage who is about 30 years older than us who I’ve met several times but we aren’t close due to the age difference. He also had 2 daughters from another prior marriage that I had never met, I only know they live in California and first names. They also did not speak to my dad and didn’t attend his funeral. As I’ve gotten older and had kids of my own, I became more curious about my dads family. I asked my mom to no avail, she said she had no idea about why the girls didn’t speak to my dad. She said she also didn’t know how to contact them. I ordered a 23 and me kit to hopefully find my half sisters and get some answers. Also, the idea of possibly being 1% black or Asian would have been cool. I’m white as can be. So I order the kit and 3 weeks later get my results. Unfortunately, I am not any shocking ethnicity. 61.2% British actually along with 20.7% French/German and other European make-up. What is surprising though is that I found 4 half sisters! 2 more than I thought! My dad was not a picture of moralism so it doesn’t surprise me he had some unclaimed kids running around. So, excitedly, I click to see the names. Oddly, none of the names match my half sisters I’m looking for. This means I have 6 half sisters! Wow, dad was kind of a whore but this is still exciting. My twin and I immediately message them on the site. The first to reply we’ll call Mary, she says she was born via IVF in 1992 in North Carolina. Mary also said the donor was a med student. WELL, my mom is adamant my Dad didn’t donate to sperm banks and that he didn’t live in the state she’s from. So I’m thinking poor Mary doesn’t know her mom is lying to her about an affair she had with my Dad. I felt terrible for my mom as well as this would definitely mean he cheated on my mom. Like I said, my Dad was scummy. I just tell Mary that my (our) father was actually in construction his whole life so he or the agency was lying about med school. He dropped out in 7th grade! I sent her some pictures of my dad and my twin and I from childhood. We laugh about how much we look alike and say we could even be triplets. Later that evening, I get another message from another half sister we’ll call Tiffany. Tiffany says she was also conceived via IVF in 1993 in Pennsylvania. All she knows is her dad has blonde hair and green eyes and was a med student. I’m honestly so happy to see another IVF because this confirms my Dad did use sperm banks and just didn’t tell my Mom. Which was shitty, but better than an affair. I send Tiffany pictures of my Dad and tell her about him and that’s it. Then comes last night. I’m shopping at IKEA with my friends relaying this soap opera story to them. I’m telling them my theory about these sperm banks lying to their customers to get better prices. Telling people they’re getting a blonde hair green eyed med student when in reality they’re getting a brown hair brown eyed sheetrock worker. It’s at this moment my friend “Miranda” said “You and your twin have blonde hair and green eyes...what if your Dad isn’t your Dad and your mom also used IVF?” At first I laughingly entertained the idea that it would make sense for my mom to need IVF because that makes way more sense than suddenly becoming pregnant at 46 and 56. I quickly realized “Holy shit that actually does make sense.” Then came the obvious thought to probably everyone but me...how could a 55 year old alcoholic chain smoker pass for a med student? It would have been 25 years since he could BELIEVABLY look under 35. Unless they somehow had his sperm in storage for 30 years before using it, AND the sperm banks in different states used the same lie about med school, it didn’t seem likely. I also have Type 1 diabetes and have no family history at all. Every doctor I’ve had tells me how unlucky I am because it is usually in the family tree and my chances of getting it were very low. I’m currently looking at my “half brothers” pictures and he looks just like my dad but nothing like my sister and I. Not even close. My mom has had a migraine throwing up the past 2 days since discussing this but I assumed it was a coincidence, now I’m thinking nerves. I’m going to talk to my mom today and if I get the answer I think I will, I’m going to message my new half sisters apologizing for showing them their Dad because he’s actually none of our Dads. Pretty sweet my Dad might be a Doctor and not a raging alcoholic though, so that’s cool. TL;DR I felt bad my 4 new half sisters didn’t know their father but as it turns out, none of us know our father.   UPDATE: My mom admitted it! WE ARE IVF BABIES! I texted my half sisters this morning to let them know. This will be a great party story. UPDATE 2: I and my half sisters claim any and all movie rights to this and do not approve any unauthorized use of this story. Be cool, thanks guys! /s since some people can’t understand this was tongue in cheek.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/aitkr8/tifu_buying_a_23_and_me_kit_assuming_my_family/) So when all this went down, my sister and I asked my mom to take a DNA test as well. She agreed. As it turns out, my mom is not my biological mom. As I said before, it makes no difference to me because my mom is my mom no matter what. HERE IS THE KICKER THOUGH My mom was wholeheartedly under the impression her eggs were used in her IVF treatment. She is contacting her doctor who is still in practice to figure out what the hell this means. I’m actually sort of sad for my mom, I didn’t consider this as an option in the realm of possibility. We are her daughters of course but I can’t imagine finding out at her age with adult kids that your biological line actually ends with you. So yeah, guess that’s all I have for now! TLDR; Mom is not my mom and she is more shocked than I am. **EDIT:** I talked to my mom this morning and she’s ok, thank goodness. She said we’re still her babies! I discussed the idea of hiring a lawyer with her, she said she still has her IVF paperwork somewhere so she is looking for it. Her paper hoarding may come in handy this once! I’m just happy she is alright.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/aalqdq/tifu_buying_a_23_and_me_kit_assuming_my_history/) by u/Rebailey0794*

'I bought a 23 and me genetic testing kit assuming my history is boring.'

TIFU

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ftp1e0/i_bought_a_23_and_me_genetic_testing_kit_assuming/

ftz30a

I am not sure really where to start, other than by saying I have been addicted to numbing everything that I experience for nearly the past 15 years. This morning, 3 weeks post first arrest, I opened the my front door to step outside for a moment, my cat bolted. I know this may not seem like much, however, after having my cat live with my estranged girlfriend for nearly a year and finally getting myself in a spot where I could care for an animal, I got her back. Most pet owners know the feeling of having a pet you cannot care for, and upon getting her back my love for her grew more than I thought possible. Long story short, this cat is the only thing on this planet that I cared about more than myself. Now, she is out in the streets of Terre Haute and I have not stopped crying since 8 this morning (4 hours). After frantically running around outside with no shoes and shirt in the 35 degree weather we are having, I lost sight of her. Since my arrest, I have finally decided to cold turkey everything and it has surprisingly gone really well for me. Haven't even wanted a drink until this morning. The most important part of my life is missing and gone and it is all my fault and I have never hated myself this much in my 29 years on this planet. The only thing I want to is to drowned myself in liquor and not come out of the pool. I have never wanted to drink this badly in my life. Not during active addiction, not during a get together with the bois around a bon fire, not even at my brothers naval graduation. I am maxing out my personal scale for wanting to drink. But, I know that if I sit down at a bar, or go grab a bottle and sit down here at home and start drinking, that is time that I am not looking for the most important thing in my life. Which makes me realize just how important my sobriety is as well as how little drinking will help. I can taste the whiskey in my throat. Whatever your reason for staying clean and sober is, hold on to it and let it drive you to and past what you thought you could handle without substance. My name is u/uneeknaymuh and I am an alcoholic, and if you will excuse me, I have a cat to find. And if you needed to hear it today, I love you and you do not need to pick up.   **UPDATE:** 815 EST- I found her and she is back at home, a little hungry and now asleep under the bed. As rough as today has been I didn't pick up and I am glad that I was sober for the reuniting. Thank you too everyone for their positivity, kind words and wisdom. Life is full of things that make us want to not feel. But feeling those things is the lesson you learn from life, and if you are numb to them all the time you will miss out on the majority of the point of existence in the first place. Another day sober is better than the best day using. I love you all. [Chanel the cat](https://i.redd.it/nvrtzbg0o2x31.jpg)   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY/comments/dsjja3/my_cat_is_missing_and_the_only_thing_keeping_me/) in 2019 by u/uneeknaymuh*

My cat is missing, and the only thing keeping me from drinking a bottle right now, is my cat.

r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ftz30a/my_cat_is_missing_and_the_only_thing_keeping_me/

fub34z

Apologies for the length, I'm going to be very thorough and also a lot has happened in a very short amount of time. First some background, and the good stuff. I have been best friends with my boyfriend since 2013. We even lived together during graduate school for two years before we started dating. We started dating in 2016, when we were roommates, so we've been together for about 2.5 years now and have lived together for a lot of that time. We did a brief stint of long distance when we got jobs in different locations after school. In January of this year, he moved states to be with me, and I still can't get over how amazing that was of him. We are now living together again in our own apartment and we couldn't be happier. He is my best friend and absolutely the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with. He's smart, funny, an absolute sweetheart and a romantic, and he makes me feel so loved every day. We have talked about our future many times and Im anticipating a proposal in the near future. Also, he has had many female friends during our time together and this has never bothered me. I'm rarely the jealous type. He's hung out one-on-one with girls before and I had no complaints. There has been one girl I told him I was uncomfortable with, and he stopped hanging out with her, but that was for a lot of reasons and not just because she's a girl. So on to the recent issue. After moving to my state, he had to pass a couple of tests in our field before he could start working. He did so and was able to secure a job in early June. He likes his new job so far, and generally likes and gets along with his coworkers, but he hadn't really made any real "friends" yet. He's hung out with my coworkers/sort-of friends too (I'm also pretty new to the area) and likes them as well, but no one he would hang out with one-on-one. I know he is missing having a group of friends back in his home state where he moved from. About a month ago, maybe a little more, he started mentioning one coworker a lot. We'll call her Liz. At first it was just in passing "Oh my coworker Liz said this or that." It also turns out Liz used to work with an organization that works closely with my organization, so she knows a lot of people that I work with and what's going on with my job and field of work. So it was a "small world" kind of thing, she would mention someone I knew, or something about my job, and he would tell her he also knew that person because of me - that kind of thing. But he started talking about her more and more often. I'm talking probably every single day over for a few weeks he would have a story about Liz or something that she said, so I knew they were talking or hanging out at work a lot. He did say that Liz mentioned she wanted to meet me, and she has a fiance that she lives with. So that made me feel good! Nothing to worry about, and I was happy he was making a friend here. Liz actually lived nearby us, in a temporary place because they were moving around for her fiancé's job. So a couple of weeks ago he tells me that Liz suggested they start carpooling to work together. Their office is about 30 minutes away without traffic - but our city always has traffic, so it's more like 45 minutes each way most days. Honestly this made me a little uncomfortable, since this meant they would be spending 1-1.5 hours alone together in the car every time they rode together. But I didn't say anything because they wouldn't be carpooling every day - some days they work in the office and other days they work on projects around town, so this would only be days when they both go into the office (maybe 2-3 days a week). Besides, he only mentioned it in passing as an idea, at first. A few days later as he was headed out the door he said "okay I'm going to go pick up Liz and head into work." I was surprised because he never told me they decided to definitely start carpooling together, but it obviously wasn't a big deal. He has never mentioned it again so as far as I know that's the only day they've ridden together, it hasn't been an ongoing thing. I was fine with this. Things started intensifying quickly last week, though. As I mentioned, Liz and her fiancé were in a temporary place before, so they decided to start looking for a permanent apartment. My boyfriend casually mentioned to me one day last week that they were actually interested in our building, and that they wanted to come see it the next day. This came out of left field to me. Our building is very nice, it's a luxury building in a good area downtown, but there are also tons of similar buildings in the area. But I figured they were just checking out all kinds of places and ours was probably one of many on the list. So late last week they came by our building for a tour. I actually saw them briefly on the elevator and we met for the first time, but they were being given a tour by management so we didn't hang out. Well, later that night, Liz texted my boyfriend that they decided to rent in our building. I honestly didn't know what to say because... I wasn't thrilled. I felt like now they will definitely want to start carpooling together every day they can, and they will start becoming even closer. My boyfriend was obviously very happy about it when he told me. I just kind of asked if they were looking at any other places and why they weren't looking any closer to where she and my boyfriend work, and he said they just really liked this building and her fiancé works more closely to our area so it works for them to live here. Obviously there was nothing I could say so I just said cool. Ever since then I feel like they have already been talking more and more. They text and have called each other a couple of times. To be fair, as far as I know it has all been either work or apartment-related. But I also don't really see his phone and have no idea how much they actually talk. A couple of final things prompted me to write this post. Up until now I wasn't thrilled about all of this but could deal with it. This weekend we traveled to visit my family for the holiday weekend. Yesterday during a family lunch, he got up and went into the other room with his phone for a few minutes. When he came back I asked "where'd you go?" and he just said "I was getting a phone call." Later, I asked who was calling him at lunch. He said it was Liz with a few questions because they were moving in at the time. This slightly bothered me because I feel like if I hadn't asked, he wasn't planning to tell me it was Liz who called. He went back to our city last night while I am staying in my hometown with my family for a couple of extra days. While driving him to the airport, I got a random thought so I asked "you're just going to take an Uber back home, right?" (that's how we got to the airport.) He kind of hesitated and then said "I was actually going to see if maybe Liz could pick me up, so I don't have to spend money on an Uber." Yet again, I felt like he never would have mentioned this to me if I hadn't asked. Also, we live close to the airport so an Uber is not expensive, and he makes good money. I reminded him that Liz and her fiancé were moving that day and probably did not want to come pick him up at the airport (I would have said this for anyone, moving sucks), and he thought about it and agreed. He didn't end up asking her. I don't know what to do from here. On one hand, I am genuinely glad he's making a friend. There are no red flags so far, things seem 100% platonic. Plus, she has a fiancé, so we could all be couple friends! On the other hand, he seems to be getting really close to her really quickly. He talks about her constantly (a lot more than I explained in this post), they are probably going to be riding together often, and I feel like he is starting to (unconsciously or not) kind of hide some interactions with her from me. Is it time to set boundaries? If so, what would reasonable boundaries even be? Is carpooling together too much? Is it oaky for them to hang out alone together outside of work? I have no idea and I've never been in this situation before. I don't know how to talk to him about this. I just feel like we need to have a talk now that she is living in our building, but maybe I should wait and see if things escalate? TL;DR: My boyfriend has become fast friends with a female coworker. She and her fiancé are now moving into our apartment building, and my boyfriend is seeing and talking to her more and more. I don't know if it's time to set boundaries or if I'm getting ahead of myself.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/a72pyo/update_im_28f_unsure_if_its_time_to_draw/) A lot has happened since my last post, and I got some good advice there, so I wanted to post an update! After I made the last post I came home from the trip with my family a couple of days later. I told my boyfriend that I wanted to talk to him about something and I brought up his friendship with Liz. I basically brought up all of my concerns from the post. I told him that I didn't want to discourage him from having a friend, but I also felt like they were talking quite a lot and spending a lot of time together, and that it was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. My boyfriend took it really well! He immediately reassured me that he only saw her as a friend, and that he hadn't even realized how it could look to me. When I brought up how I felt like he wasn't being forthcoming with information (like how he didn't mention the phone call from her), he said that was 100% unintentional. He then immediately asked what he could do going forward to make me feel more comfortable. He offered to stop carpooling with her and to cut down on contact with her except for work-related stuff. I told him I didn't have a problem with the carpooling because financially it does make sense (he spends a lot of money on gas), but maybe he could try to text and call her outside of work a little bit less. I also told him I would really love to meet her and her fiance, and he enthusiastically agreed. He set up a hang out for the following weekend - the two of us and Liz and her fiance all went out for drinks at a bar by our building (they'e moved in by now). It was actually really fun! It turns out we all have a ton in common. Liz and I do very similar work, and we all have common nerdy interests. It was a little awkward at first as meeting new people often is, but once we all got comfortable we had a blast. From there, we have all become fast friends, and Liz and I have developed our own separate friendship too. We text often, go over to each other's places for dinner sometimes, and hang out on weekends. I can honestly say I really like Liz (and her fiance) as a person and trust her 100%. I no longer have a problem with her friendship with my boyfriend at all. They do still carpool sometimes, but they've never hung out alone outside of work - it's always the four of us. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Finally, I have a separate - but slightly related - update: my boyfriend is now my FIANCE! Less than a month after I made my last post, he took me out for a really beautiful and romantic dinner. When we came home, our apartment was covered in roses and candles. I was so shocked I could barely move as he got down on one knee and proposed. I said YES and then cried for about two hours as we called all of our friends and family. It was absolutely perfect and we are getting married next year! It turns out that Liz actually helped him plan the proposal and that was part of why they were talking a lot too! Since she lives in our building now, he had all of the flowers, candles, champagne, and accessories shipped to her and kept at her place until he was ready for them. He even had her hold onto the ring the week before he did it. After he proposed she came upstairs and took photos for us and cried with us. That was the moment I realized what a great friend she is to both of us. So communication saves the day again! We're all great friends now, and Liz and I have regular girls nights to plan our weddings together :) TL;DR: I talked to my boyfriend and he introduced me to Liz and her fiance right away. We're all great friends now and I'm no longer uncomfortable - but I am engaged! EDIT: Wow, wow, wow!!!! I know this is stereotypical, but I never expected my post to blow up like this. I started reading the comments last night and planned to reply to some but then I got busy, and then this just got out of control! So let me just say here, thank you all SO MUCH for the support, advice, and well-wishes! You guys rule 😭   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/9cx874/im_28f_unsure_if_its_time_to_draw_boundaries_with/) by u/itsme2213*

I'm [28F] unsure if it's time to draw boundaries with my boyfriend [28M] and his coworker [late 20sF] who he got close to very quickly

r/relationships

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fub34z/im_28f_unsure_if_its_time_to_draw_boundaries_with/

fuw6fu

Hey all, I have a shitty situation here that I'm hoping to get some advice about. This is in Idaho. ​ My neighbor is shit-bombing my front yard. A new neighbor bought a house across the street about 6 months ago. A few weeks back, I was working in the garage when I saw him take his dog directly across the street, into my front yard. He let it pee in my yard and then walked straight home. He didn't notice me - my garage is set up as a shop and is pretty busy, and the garage door is up a lot - but this piqued my interest because it's goddamned weird. Now, my wife and I have a dog so there are a few dog droppings from her that we pick up on a regular basis. My wife had been doing the dooty duty recently, so I asked her if there are more piles than normal. Sure enough, she said there had been a ton for a while now. She figured it was assholes walking their dogs and letting them crap in our lawn. I figured it was our new weirdo neighbor. ​ It happened again around a week later: I was in the garage as the neighbor took his dog into our lawn. This time the dog dropped a deuce and he started to walk away without picking it up. I called out to him, asking him if he needs a plastic bag to pick up after his dog, and he avoided eye contact and scurried back home. I went across the street and knocked on his door. He didn't answer. We set up a security camera to discretely watch the front lawn and I kept an eye out for when he was next out in his yard so I could talk to him. ​ I reviewed the footage over the next few days and, sure enough, he was consistently taking his dog to do the deed in our yard. Why our yard? No clue, we've never had any interaction with this guy whatsoever. The next time I saw him walking to his car, I confronted him. I simply told him that I knew he was taking his dog to shit in our yard and if I caught him doing it again I'd call the police to report him for trespassing. He denied doing it, claiming it must be other neighbors, got in his car, and drove away with me standing in his driveway. ​ So I review the footage from the last few days. Dude is not walking his dog into my yard anymore: he's letting the dog shit in his yard. He then scoops it up, walks it across the street, and tosses it into my yard with a shovel. What the absolute fuck. ​ How do I even begin handling this? In the interest of remaining neighborly and with the possibility neighbor dude might be losing his mind, we're going to talk with them before lawyering up or involving the fuzz. Updates forthcoming.   [**1 Year Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fuklms/long_overdue_update_neighbor_is_shitbombing_my/) My wife and I have been on all sorts of adventures - moving out of the state, living in an RV with too many cats, a meth-crazed former friend going on a rampage, and delirious dad dementia drama - it has been a wild ride. You can thank everyone's new best buddy, CoVID-19, for providing me with the time (AKA being in quarantine) to remember to get on this. A shout out goes to a couple of to -remain-unnamed Redditors for poking at me to finally update.   The shit-bombing neighbor situation ended up having a different resolution than we could have ever imagined. As you may or may not remember, we were planning on talking to his kids. The next time someone rolled around we pounced, talking to his son. It turns out they suspected ol' turd tosser was suffering from early onset dementia. That led to a "Well...fuck" moment. Where some people get all loopy and nice or just shut down altogether, crap cannon turned into a Grade A Asshole. I could relate completely: my father also suffers from dementia and, just like feces flinger, he was gone enough to be a huge fucking nuisance for anyone unfortunate enough to be around him but not far enough for the kids to get guardianship. Just like us, they were waiting for the shit to hit the fan (pun intended) so the authorities would step in, an evaluation could be done, and they might get some legal leverage on their dookie dumping daddy's bad behavior.   So we set up a camera on that part of our yard and waited until he did it again. He never dumped shit in the yard again - we're guessing the son talked to him - but he did take his dog over to drop a deuce in our yard. Evidence in hand, we called the police, kept it to "just the facts" (Thanks, Joe Friday), and hoped they'd do something. They talked to shit shoveler, he promised to knock it off, and you know what? He actually stopped. We moved shortly thereafter and heard a few months later from the new tenants (they're friends of ours) that his property is for sale. I'm guessing the kids finally got him the help he needs. Everyone hug now: happy ending!   *Originally [posted] (https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9o3ge9/neighbor_is_shitbombing_my_front_yard/) by u/SoleInvictus*

Neighbor is shit-bombing my front yard

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fuw6fu/neighbor_is_shitbombing_my_front_yard/

fvgcoq

Ok, this is going to sound paranoid but it's happened too many times. Everytime I send out a text message my (29F) SO (34M) phone will ding. But (this is weird paranoid part) only for the first text I send and not the entire conversation. But then say an hour goes by and I send a text his phone will ding again. I first noticed this happening early every morning when I would text my carpool. His phone would ding at 6am when i sent a text to them. If it is some spyware on my phone how can i find it? I've searched my apps and ran malware-bytes and incognito app. Or am I just crazy. I feel like this is what past cheating does to a relationship. Does spyware even exist that would only ding at certain times? Just yesterday we were sitting next to each other. I text my friend, his phone goes off and he didnt look at his phone. He always checks incoming texts lol. I asked him who was messaging him and he just quickly looked and said work.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fmg602/update_spyware_or_coincidence/) So we were hangingout and he eventually put his phone down, face up on the table between us. I send a text to a friend that said, "why are you spying on my phone." His phone fricken dinged. I couldn't read the notification screen but that's no coincidence. After confronting him and he finally admitted to keeping track of my texts...and location... but I still dont know why he did. He was gaslighting hardcore. He kept saying how I said I always tell him I dont trust him (he cheated) which lead him to thinking I was hiding something and he couldnt trust me? Wtf. And he was tracking my location for "my safety" because he worries about where I'm at and don't I want him to be concerned about my saftey. I also dont know the specific way he did it :( I did a factory reset (thanks to y'alls recommendations) then changed my password on everything. I'm considering changing my user name on this account. I guess trust your instinct. This is the worst time for this to happen, I dont know where he is staying. He still has stuff here. I have a bad history with this guy too, idk why I give people so many chances. Thank you guys for your help! I'm glad I reached out, I was shocked by the support. I had alot of messages just checking up.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/flgvls/weird_coincidence_or_spyware_on_phone/) by u/Milly_3334*

Weird coincidence or spyware on phone

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fvgcoq/weird_coincidence_or_spyware_on_phone/

fw1q8c

Hey everyone. I don't know what to do in this situation because I never expected I'd face something like this. I'm trying to stay calm and rational and examine every possibility but I'm coming up seriously short here. I met my wife on Tinder at the end of 2015. We talked on and off for some time before she agreed to meet me. By the end of our first date we found that we had so much in common that we even agreed we should have met a lot earlier. We were both into the same sport, we were both into the same books, and we both saw eye to eye on social/political matters. More than anything, we were both against the idea of having kids. I know, heavy topics for a first date. We were on a roll and just kept talking and before we knew it we were three to four dates ahead of the curve. At the very least I held off on telling her about my vasectomy until the third. Her immediate reaction upon hearing about it was of an instant of shock, where she couldn't believe a young guy would get one. She immediately followed that by commending me for my conviction about being child free. We dated and had a great time with few real arguments, and eventually settled down with a big wedding and a big house. After getting married, if anything our relationship has only gotten better. Four nights ago was the first time I ever had any serious doubts about our relationship. My wife was out with a friend, and I was doing some house cleaning. I was throwing away a bunch of semi-large garbage that can fit into bags, and so I took a few things out of the kitchen garbage bag to make everything fit into two. At the bottom I saw a light purple box where half of a lower case n and an upper case B were visible. I immediately recognized it for what it was and reassembling the torn pieces just confirmed it. I had known that my wife was on her period because when I tried to initiate sex, she told me so. I found it odd because her previous period had ended just a couple of weeks before and I made comment about the timing being odd. She told me it's just lady stuff and it happens sometimes. I figured it made enough sense and let the issue rest. I haven't told her that I found the box. When she got home that night everything was so normal. I tried to gauge how she was feeling or if she seemed like she was trying to hide anything, but couldn't find a single thing. The more time this simmers inside of me, the more the possibilities start springing to mind. What if she was assaulted? What if she was covering for someone else by bringing the box home and disposing of it here? What if she, for some reason, just felt pregnant randomly? Or, what if she just cheated? I only know one thing for certain: unless someone broke into our house to dispose of a box of Plan B and cover it with a bunch of other trash haphazardly, she was the only person other than me who could have thrown it away. I don't even know how to ask her or how to bring it up. We have both expressed adamantly that cheating is ridiculous because if you're dissatisfied enough in a relationship to be unfaithful, you should just leave. I've done nothing to displease her, at least that I know of. Maybe I'm just naive or maybe the situation is more complicated than I'm giving it credit for. But I feel like a coward for being unable to bring it up four days later just because I don't know how. tl;dr I found a torn up Plan B box in my trash. The only person who could have possibly thrown it away there is my wife. How do I bring this up?   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/arvpxh/update_i_31m_found_tornup_remnants_of_a_plan_b/) I would like to preface this post with an apology. I know it has been nearly three weeks since I last posted. To be honest, in no world did I ever imagine people would continue to show so much interest in my situation. I've been online long enough to know that a few weeks here is like an eternity in the real world. Not to make excuses, but since my life just fell into the gutter, rolled into a drainage grate, took a trip through the sewer system, and then got eaten by that random ass giant spider from the original It, I have legitimately not had the time or the heart to update you. For that, I am sorry. For the people who are legitimately concerned about me, thank you. It is encouraging to know that thousands of people are thinking about me. For the people who wanted to see my situation go about as bad as possible and play out like a Greek tragedy, I apologize that it is probably not nearly as interesting as you are hoping for. Now to start where things left off. After making my original post, I combed through all of the comments to find reasons as to why she might have torn up a Plan B box and thrown it into the garbage. A lot of them made sense. My greatest hope was that it might have just been old. Maybe it was before we even met. Clinging to that, I hand wrote a flow chart of all of the routes our conversation might take. I'm awful with confrontation and considered every possibility before bringing it up, what I would say in response, and what I would do. I memorized them all. On the evening after I made my original post, I called her into the living room when she got home from the gym. As I had practiced, I asked her the following question: >Hey, I'm not accusing you of anything, but could you tell me why there was a torn up Plan B box in the garbage? The second the words "Plan B" left my mouth, she immediately looked like she had been punched in the stomach. She was completely lost for words. I already knew at that point. I retained eye contact and repeated my question. >Why was there a torn up Plan B box in the garbage? You know I had a vasectomy. She just mouth breathed, looking at me horrified. Then she looked to the floor. Then she started weakly sobbing. This was not on the flowchart. I had no idea how to respond. I thought if I let her cry it out a bit she might give me a real answer, but she just kept sobbing. Finally I prompted her with another question: >Are you crying because you did something you regret? She shook her head violently. I was so concerned because I thought something horrendous might have happened. She abruptly shrieked "I'm crying because my fucking husband doesn't even trust me." I have literally never seen a person that angry, let alone my wife. So I prompted her again. >Just tell me why it was there. You don't have to hide anything from me. She yelled at me again. Repeatedly. "If you don't trust me, this marriage is hopeless." "Fuck you for not trusting me." This line of questioning repeated itself until she told me to get out of the house. I refused and said that until she was upfront with me about why the box was there, I wasn't budging an inch. She then informed me that either I had to leave or she would leave. Since I doubted she had anywhere to stay (her parents don't live anywhere near us), I agreed to go to let us cool down and have a rational conversation like adults later. I went to my best friend's house, the guy who was best man at my wedding, and we got drunk and talked about everything but her. The following night, I texted her asking if she was ready to talk. She was not. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum: I had to [1] apologize, [2] promise to never bring it up again, and [3] learn to trust her completely. Only then would she allow me back home. If I couldn't do all three of the above, she was done with me. I have not returned home and we have now been no contact for over two weeks. I am wearing out my welcome at my best friend's house, who has been nothing short of amazing. I currently have a consultation with a lawyer arranged this afternoon. The lawyer will probably tell me I'm an idiot for leaving the house, and she'll probably be right, but the idea of ever stepping foot in that house again makes me sick to my stomach. There is legitimately nothing my wife could say to salvage this marriage. I am entirely numb to her, what she's doing, who she's with, or anything else even tangentially related to her. None of my family members know what happened and as far as they're concerned we're still the happy newlyweds. I'm holding off on saying anything until I'm calm and rational and won't do something I'll regret in the future. tl;dr yes, she cheated, yes, the marriage is over, and yes, I feel awful about it.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/akyct2/i_31m_found_tornup_remnants_of_a_plan_b_box_in/) by u/Significant_Cupcake*

I [31m] found torn-up remnants of a Plan B box in the kitchen garbage. My wife [27f] should have no reason to use emergency contraceptive because I had a vasectomy years ago.

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fw1q8c/i_31m_found_tornup_remnants_of_a_plan_b_box_in/

fw94oo

Original post dated 22nd May 2019: ​ Since there's been so much negativity flying around, especially with that petition [to remake the final season of Game of Thrones] gaining traction, I thought maybe we could do something really decent that can make a difference in peoples' lives, and show a little love for one castmember in particular. Incase you weren't aware, Emilia Clarke who played Daenerys Targaryen wrote a personal [essay](https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/emilia-clarke-a-battle-for-my-life-brain-aneurysm-surgery-game-of-thrones) for the New Yorker in March about her experience suffering two brain hemorrhages, the first of which happened shortly after wrapping season 1. With that essay she launched her charity SameYou, in aid of increasing neuro-rehabilitation access to young people after brain injury. It's clear that Emilia invested much of herself into Dany and in turn drew strength from her when she needed it. The fact that the showrunners did not even care to inform her of her character's turn, let alone write a properly fleshed-out script that did her character (and others!) justice, is unforgivable. They've since scurried away to avoid the backlash they knew was inevitable, but the actors are getting the brunt of it. And I just thought... how wonderful a gesture would it be for them, and for Emilia especially, to see fans of the show coming together in aid of a cause that is so dear to her heart. To really know that we appreciate her and this character she's inhabited for the better part of the last decade. On a personal note, as someone who suffers from chronic illness, Emilia's portrayal of Daenerys means so much more to me since finding out what she went through. The fact that she stared her mortality in the face and did not give up, did not give in, and was able to come through with such a stellar performance.. is beyond inspiring. The fundraising is for the CHARITY FOUNDED BY EMILIA called SameYou, in partnership with the Stroke Association, which helps young people recovering from brain injuries like the ones she suffered while filming the show.   UPDATE: We broke 5k with less than 300 donations. Thank you so much to each and every one of you who donated, upvoted, shared, boosted. I'd love to see this keep building momentum! UPDATE: We hit 20k in less than 48 hours! Amazing job everyone! Also, some news... Entertainment Weekly have reached out with some questions for an article they plan on doing about the fundraiser! I'll update this post once it's been published. Let's keep this going! UPDATE: 23k! And... EW wrote that [story](https://ew.com/tv/2019/05/24/game-of-thrones-reddit-community-emilia-clarke-fundraiser/) on us! The answers were edited down but I think they did a great job conveying the sentiment behind the campaign. I'll post the full list of questions & answers I gave in a comment so you can see what they left and what they decided to take out. Keep sharing! BEST FANS EVAA! UPDATE: We're almost at 29K! There have been people who have donated in the hundreds, and others who dug deep and did they could with a couple of dollars. Grateful for EACH and EVERY one of you. Screenrant, Decider and Digital Spy have all done stories on us. UPDATE: £35,000 (close to 45k in $) in just 5 days!!! amazing feat lads. Well done. It seems like things are winding down now, so let me thank everybody one more time for pushing this fundraiser to where it is. Anyone could have started this fundraiser, it’s all of you who have made it successful. Every donation - no matter how small or seemingly insignificant - every share, every hashtag, every signal boost… every single one made a difference. And for those asking if Emilia has heard about this, she has! SameYou accounts on twitter & IG have been boosting the fundraiser, and the mother of dragons herself has reached out to say thank you & that they’re both thrilled to see Emilia’s story inspire people to engage in the movement for neuro rehabilitation. This will be the final update, until/unless something special happens - so keep an eye out! Mods, I’d appreciate if this could stay pinned just a little while longer. Thanks again for all the support!   UPDATE: ok when i said i’d update if something special happened i was NOT expecting..[that!?](https://twitter.com/SameYouOrg/status/1134100107065024512)   Also I wanted to share this [article](https://heavy.com/entertainment/2019/05/emilia-clarke-charity-fundraiser-interview-creator-elle-ellaria/) Stephanie from heavy.com just posted. Stephanie was one out of tens, TENS of journalists I reached out to who previously wrote about the petition and the ONLY one who actually took an interest in covering this story. She does a great job conveying the message - please do give it a read! And finally, if you’re not in a position to donate, DO NOT FUCKING FEEL BAD. I know what it’s like to count pennies to survive. You’re all doing what you can with your updoots and shares. I’m fucking grateful for all of you. We’ve done a good thing here.   **FINAL UPDATE:** 100k! i think my work here is done. By now everyone knows about the fundraiser and it will remain open for the foreseeable future in case you'd like to keep giving (i know i will!). A spin-off fundraiser for Jon Snow actor Kit Harington's charity Mencap was [started](https://ew.com/celebrity/2019/06/26/kit-harington-game-of-thrones-fans-charity-fundraiser/) and we've also launched #GoTtoGive in an effort to have our donations matched. Plus Emilia [shouted us out!](https://twitter.com/SameYouOrg/status/1136612061306327040)   [The Fundraising Page](https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/justicefordaenerys) *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/freefolk/comments/brj5vq/can_we_collectively_do_something_nice_for_emilia/) by /u/elle_ellaria*

r/freefolk bend the knee to their Queen after Game of Thrones season 8 controversy

r/freefolk

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fw94oo/rfreefolk_bend_the_knee_to_their_queen_after_game/

fwmf9e

I’m 16yo, male. I had an amazing, very well behaved one year old Akita dog that I spent basically the whole day with...she was pretty protective of me, and she was large. Although she was an angel with amazing behavior, and whenever my family came to interact with her, she was pretty nice although they didn’t stick around much...only interacting with her for a few minutes before leaving, I was basically the only person taking care of her, but I loved it, and I loved her. Then my mom told me she wants to sell my dog. She said it was way too large and scary looking and she wanted a dog that “could be compared to a cat, and treated like one”. I had no choice in the matter and a week later, my dog was gone. A lady came to pick her up and I had the task of crating her and such...I put my dog in the lady’s car, and she and my mom went inside to discuss some stuff. I ran to the kitchen and got some boiled chicken, the treat I usually give her. I sat in the ladys car with my dog for a bit, giving her plenty of chicken and petting her with my fingers through the bars of the crate, so she wouldn’t be scared on the car ride as much... Then, when mom and the lady came back and the lady drove off, my dog was gone. I didn’t really feel anything. I was just kinda like...I guess another dog it is... A week passed, and I was actively just waiting for a new dog. It felt so weird not having anything to take care of. Of course, I did miss my dog...but I didn’t feel sad, I was just feeling “void”, nothing. If that makes sense. Mom came home with a new three month old small puppy, a white terrier. About a week has passed since I owned him, and I’m his primary caretaker. Of course, I love him and he’s been a sweetheart, although needing a lot of training that I’m working on at the moment..but my family has been wanting him with them a lot more than my old dog. They sometimes come to me and tell me to leave the dog with them for a bit, all of my family call him cute when he does certain things. He’s...scarily similar to my Akita dog in the way he acts. But instead of freezing up or being indifferent to his actions like they were with my Akita, they call him cute n stuff...even though he’s acting very similarly to my old Akita, he’s just small and non-threatening I guess. But I would get this very irriater feeling in my gut when I see how my family treats this dog so differently even when my Akita did the same thing...you know, jumping in excitement, micro borks when playing, running around excitedly, being happy to see me, standing, dog stuff. The more time I spent with this dog, the more he just kept reminding me of my Akita. I’ve been getting more and more depressed just thinking ahout it while I’m taking care of him since he reminds me so much of her... One day, I was trying to get my new dog to sleep. I was in my room and he was on his bed, but he was being very anxious and hasn’t slept well. I was determined to make him sleep at least a little that day. I knew he trusted me, so I just did some stuff. Played relaxing music, sat with him silently while he slept, comforted him, a lot of stuff. Still, though, he’d suddenly jerk awake every 15 minutes or so at the slightest sound, and then he would see me, I’d pet him and he’d almost immediately plop down to sleep. This kept reminding me when I was doing the same thing to my Akita dog when she was anxious and didn’t sleep at all for a whole day almost...She was waking up at each sound, just like this new dog was, and the way I was treating this new dog to get him to sleep was exactly what I did to my Akita. So I was theee, literally just sitting there in silence making sure he actually gets to sleep. He’d wake up every 15 minutes. All the while, I’m silently just...being reminded of my Akita. I was holding back tears though, because I had to be silent for my dog to sleep. But...he never did. He kept jerking awake every 15 minutes. After about an hour and a half of this, my dog jerked awake one final time. It gave me flashbacks to when my Akita did the same thing. After I tended to him and got him sleeping again, as soon as he laid down and closed his eyes, It was too much. I was remembering my Akita too much. I couldn’t take it anymore and started crying. Apparently it was LOUD. I didn’t even realize, but according to my mother, she heard it from the second floor when she came to check on me. I thought nobody would be able to hear me even outside my door, but apparently I was crying extremely uncontrollably. I didn’t tell my mom why I cried, though. I have the number of the lady who had my dog, and I called her every now and then to ask how my Akita was...she never answered. It always times out. My mother is refusing to give me any details and just says she has her and she’s fine. What the hell do I do? I love my new dog yes, but I’m such a wreck right now...I can’t even interact with my new dog for a long time because I just remember my Akita, get depressed and feel like crying. Thankfully, others are happy to take him off my hands temporarily whenever I need a break...though, they’re the one asking me to take him for a bit. I just don’t know. What do I do?   UPDATE: A lot has happened in these two hours, actually. Yesterday I asked my mom why the person who bought my dog wasn’t responding, she hesistated for 3 seconds and said she re-sold sold the dog and she forgot to told me. I didn’t believe her. The reason I was calling the person who bought my dog was because she said I could visit her and ask her for updates. I also had a mini interview with her about how she’d treat the dog, and she came out fine. Though, I just called her for the second time today, and she finally responded. She did confirm that she sold my dog. When I asked her if that meant I couldn’t visit, she said “Obviously. I don’t know where she is”. I continued that conversation a bit talking about how I should have made it clear in our agreement that I would get to visit her, and that it was my bad that I didn’t specify. Later, my mom called me. She asked me why I called TPWBMD. I told her I just wanted to know what was up for sure. She explained to me that she told me everything yesterday and that TPWBMD said I was bothering her by calling constantly. She also said that this made her look like a bad mother because now TPWBMD thinks my mom didn’t tell me about what she did to my dog, which she didn’t until I explicitly asked her. After that, I kinda hatched a plan. I called our vet and pretended that I somehow lost the microchip digits of my dog, and if they could tell me the code so I could write it down in her dog passport. They asked me if I had the dog, I lied and said yes. They said I can just bring her in and they’d scan and give me the code. I pretended that I was too lazy to, and said if it was possible if I provided details. After confirming my name, phone number, my dogs name, breed, etc, they knew I was the guy with her at the vet for sure. After 30 minutes, I was told the tracking chip code. I went all over the internet looking for the contact info of the new owner of my dog. It seems it doesn’t exist. I think I have to wait until the guy who newly owns her puts his info on the tracking chip, then I can input that into some website and I’ll get his contact info and maybe he will agree to update me on my Akita regularly. Or hell...maybe visit? I wish with all my heart this goes well.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/clzgkk/update_my_mom_sold_my_dog_against_my_will_and_i/) This is a continuation of a post I posted just 4 hours ago. You guys have been amazing and made me feel like my feelings were not crazy after all. A lot of you urged me on to try to get my dog back, and I will. Alright, so this is what I currently have. It’s not that much, actually...all I have is -An invoice from the vet about my most recent visit before she was sold. -Her microchip number, which was obtained from the vet today. -The dogs name, and a bunch of pictures. Around 100. -Some general knowledge about her medical history, including the date of some of her vaccines. No documents though that’s pretty much it. I’m just wondering now, what can I do? I’d be perfectly happy if I even managed to get updated on my dogs status from the new owner and got to regularly get updated, or even visit. Best case scenario is that I get to see her regularly or adopt her back...   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/cowxh5/update_2_my_mother_sold_my_dog_against_my_will/) I’m honestly posting this for emotional support at this point, because I feel like I have to remember that there’s nothing wrong with how I feel at the moment. So...what happened in the past week? Well, I walked to my vet in secret to ask for advice. I talked to two nice people over the counter there and they helped me explore my options. I also contacted my entire family. All my sisters, my dad, and kinda my bro (I don’t reallt trust my bro) to tell them about what happened. None of them support me. A comment from one sister is “You know you’ll just forget about her right?” and from my second sister, “Why do you even care? It’s a done deal, she was sold.” my third sister kinda said the same thing, but she did help me when I asked her to call the lady who bought my dog. I asked because now when I called her, it just says that the phone number is unavailable, and my whatsapp messages to her don’t go through anymore. So I wanted to check, and yes, she blocked my phone number. My brother did as expected and called me a moron for caring about a dog and that they’re filthy creatures and stuff like that. Honestly nothing unexpected from him. I talked to my dad, and he was apparently siding with my mother, and he was telling me I was being ridiculous. So little to no support from them. I talked to a bunch of my online friends about it and my one irl best friend, and they’re all supporting me and my feelings so well, and remind me that I’m not crazy. I appreciate that so much. My mom got really upset with me over the past few days. I of course, was calling the lady who bought our dog every day almost (till she blocked me that one day), and my mom knew about it from her. I also went to ask my mom what the name of the vet that she deals with is called, because my mom knows that info but is refusing to tell me. She still is, and is calling me extremely disrespectful for not listening to her and dropping this whole thing. As she puts it: “What part of this do you not understand? She was sold, I don’t know where she is, it’s over, bye.” Since I was obviously seriously against what she was doing to me, I voiced my opinion by telling her I seriously do not respect the fact that she’s doing this and that it makes me think less of her as a person. This infuriated her, and she told me that I can pretend she’s dead if I really don’t respect her. She brought up the religious verses about how a child is required to respect their elders. I told her that this “pretending she’s dead” thing would be a childish and straight up impossible thing to do since we are mother and child living in the same house, but she didn’t wanna hear it and kept saying things like “Do you not understand? Pretend I’m air. I do not exist. You do not have a mother” Of course, I still went to her every day and just ask her “What is the name of the vet that the person who bought my dog uses?” and she just doesn’t look at me. As a side thing, I’ve contacted my therapist again. The one I stopped going to because the one hour ride to him with my mom was hell, and wasn’t worth it despite him being a good therapist. He suggested some ways I could get to him, and I wanna get back into therapy to keep myself mindful. He’s also going to only be available after Eid. Thanks for reading.   [**1 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/rant/comments/crdkwv/i_miss_my_dog/) in r/rant I miss my dog. This isn’t over. I’m searching literally everywhere for her. Calling all vets in my country, registering the pet as missing, and offering a reward. Reward money coming from the savings that were supposed to pay for my car when I finally reach the age. I am not going out without a fight. SHE WAS AN ANGEL, A PLAYFUL 66 POUND CHUNCK OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I miss her so much   [**1.5 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/cw7zbg/my_mother_sold_my_dog_against_my_will_and_im/) I filed for her as a missing dog, I called so many vets (50+), I registered her microchip number to my name, and I’ve just been super worried about where she is for the past month and a half. Of course, my mom is not giving up a single detail, and the person who bought my dog resold the dog, and blocked my number. I want to at least know that my dog is okay. So, it’s been a very long time now, and as I said in a previous post of mine, I’m considering my legal options. During that research, I found that I could potentially hire a private investigator. They’re said to be able to find missing people and gather info, so I thought they may have some intel that might help me find my dog. I have the necessary funds to hire a PI, is this something I should do? It says on some sites that hiring a PI in the UAE (Where I live) is illegal, though I’m finding some locations on google about hiring detectives/PI’s and I’m unsure of what to do with these mixed signals. Does anyone have any info?   [**2 MONTHS LATER**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/d2c4k2/update_my_mother_sold_my_dog_against_my_will_but/) She’s finally back with me, and I seriously couldn’t be happier. If you guys are wondering how she was found...well, it isn’t a cool of a story as I’d liked, heh. As advised, I did everything in my power to find my dog, Even going as far as to consider my legal options. Two months after my dog was sold, my mom finally gave up and decided to tell me where she is. She’s home now. My mom always knew where she was. She just never told me. After she saw that I was relentlessly putting this much effort into finding her, she just told me where she is. Now we are in the process of buying her back, though we get to keep her home! [Here are some pics as requested!](https://imgur.com/a/bU3Sl7y)   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/clw2pb/my_mom_forced_me_to_sell_my_dog_and_bought/) by u/ta4378*

My mom forced me to sell my dog, and bought another, smaller one. I miss my older dog to death and this new puppy I’m taking care of reminds me of my old dog so much that I constantly feel like crying when I’m with him.

r/Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fwmf9e/my_mom_forced_me_to_sell_my_dog_and_bought/

fwuj81

So, not only will this be my first ever "virtual" interview, but it'll actually be the first time I've interviewed for a formal music teaching job. It will be at a new K-5 charter school that plans to open up in the Fall...my interview was scheduled to be in person with the school director last week, but obviously that got postponed due to Covid-19. I graduated with a degree in music in 2014, concentrating in guitar performance. In the years since I've performed semi-professionally and taught privately, but also worked as a college writing tutor, music store clerk, entry level bookkeeper, lawncare worker, car washer....really anything just to get by. Recently I made the conscious decision that I really need to make a change toward a real career, and I knew I loved teaching so I started applying to music teaching jobs even though I'm not licensed. To my surprise, I landed this interview and I want to do the best I can. As I mentioned, I don't have a teaching licence and didn't study music education, just music performance (my interviewer knows this), so I'm a little nervous since I don't have much experience to draw from and not a lot of knowledge with music pedagogy in the classroom. That said, I have extensive experience teaching privately, and love to teach, connect with students, and anything to do with music. I'm willing and able to soak up anything with a sponge and I welcome any challenges. So, what kind of questions should I expect from this interview and how should I best answer them? How can I highlight my private teaching and real world performing experience in a way to make up for my lack of classroom teaching experience? Is there anything else I should be prepared for? Thanks a bunch!   [**Two Weeks Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/MusicEd/comments/fszyfg/update_i_got_the_job/) A couple weeks ago I posted here about having a virtual interview for a music teaching position at a new charter school opening in the Fall. I did some preparation with the help and advice of this sub, and spoke to the managing director and curriculum director of the school in the interview. Surprisingly there wasn't really any "hard" questions beyond general education philosophy, classroom management, my use of technology, what's needed in the classroom, etc. I felt good about my answers and felt like I made a good impression... Well, I was informed yesterday that they're offering me the position! I'm to have a phone call this afternoon with the managing director to go over some details - I was told that it would only start off as part time (28 hours a week), but she could offer me the opportunity to do private lessons with students at the school, plus I've got my own student base and other income sources I can build, so I know I'm going to accept. Fingers crossed that by the Fall, we'll be well over the hump of this virus crisis. It's a pretty crazy time to actually be offered a job, but I'm very thankful, and this is a big deal for me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I don't have a license yet and don't have much music ed experience, but I knew I wanted to be in the music field somehow and just needed my foot in the door. From here I'm sure there are paths to earn my license, continue my education & training, and just build some momentum in this field. I'm almost 30, but I'm finally feeling like I have a career being built. Thank you to everyone on this sub for your support! I'm sure I'll be back here for more advice as I prepare to teach and get into the classroom.   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/MusicEd/comments/flhpbj/i_have_a_virtual_interview_for_a_music_teaching/) by u/cagewithakay*

I have a virtual interview for a music teaching position

r/MusicEd

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fwuj81/i_have_a_virtual_interview_for_a_music_teaching/

fxa77w

Hello Reddit. Please bear with me regarding my formatting and things. I have read the rules and things, but I'm an old fart who is rather on the wrong side of 40 so I'm not overly well versed in the art of efficient internetting. My boy is 20 years old. He's absolutely my pride and joy, and there is nothing he could do that would ever make me love him less. For the first half of his life, I regrettably wasn't involved very much. His mother and I parted ways when he was just a few months old and at the time I was struggling with a heroin addiction and was absolutely not as present in his life as I should have been, nor was I suited to fatherhood at all. I saw him, at most, two to three times a year for the first 12 years of his life. I won't discuss details because that's his private story to tell, but when he was 12 he revealed to me that he was being badly mistreated at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend. Despite not being the best father at the time, I didn't want my boy suffering any more so I got myself cleaned up and sorted out in order to get full custody of him. I've effectively been a single (and sober!) father ever since and he has little to no contact with his mother. He's everything a man could want his son to be; he's uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he's unflinchingly brave, he's incredibly generous and, despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he's unfailingly positive and sunny to the last. Somehow I of all people was bestowed with the honour of watching him grow from a sweet young boy to the greatest man I have ever known. I cannot stress enough my pride in him. When he was 18, he got accepted into a top ranking university on the other side of the country. I was sad to see him go, but simultaneously overjoyed that he got into his first choice and was starting a new chapter in his life. He comes home once every other month, and on the month's he doesn't come home, I go to visit him. He's doing well in uni, has made lots of friends and seems incredibly happy there, which I'm obviously chuffed about. Since his second year, he's lived with his "friend" in a flat off-campus. I've strongly suspected since his early teens that my son is gay, and I now more or less have confirmation that this is true and that his "friend" is actually his boyfriend. So, for this COVID-19 faff, my son decided he'd rather come home and quarantine at mine than stay at his uni flat. His "friend", however, would be left alone if my son came back as he's a Candian and his family are back over there, and I gather he doesn't have the best relationship with them anyway. He asked if it would be okay if "friend" tagged along to my house and I said of course, no problem. They've been back at mine for about six weeks now. They think they're being subtle I know, but I've caught them doing coupley things on several occasions now. The "friend" has slipped up a couple of times and called my son 'babe' and 'sweetie' in front of me, which I pretended not to notice for the sake of saving embarrassment. There have been nights where we'll be watching a film with the lights off and, thinking I can't see, my son will have his arm around the "friend". One day I walked into the lounge and I'm positive they'd just been kissing and were trying to cover it, though I admit I have no confirmation on that one. The most solid evidence, however, came a few mornings ago. I get up very early to go for runs in the morning (hence why I'm making a reddit post at five in the morning haha). As far as I was told, my son was sleeping in his childhood room and his "friend" was in the guest room. I don't know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son's door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Lo and behold, they're both asleep, snuggled up together, in my son's bed. That's more or less solidified for me that they're together. I didn't say anything, just shut the door and went for my run, and I haven't mentioned it to them yet. What I want advice on is this; how do I let my son and his boyfriend know that I'm okay with them being a couple and they don't have to feel like they have to sneak around in my house? I want them to be comfortable here and I want them to know I support them both no matter what. Or is that not a good idea? Am I better off leaving it alone and waiting until they tell me themselves, if they ever do? I obviously don't want to force either of them out of the closet, but at the same time I hate feeling as if they feel like they're being forced into the closet in my house. What's my best course of action here?? TL:DR - my son and his "friend" are staying with me for quarantine. It's abundantly clear they're a couple, and I want to let them know it's okay and they don't have to sneak around in my house. What's the best way to go about it?   [**2 Days Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fwog3j/update_my_son_and_his_friend_are_a_couple_how_do/) Hello, lovely people. As promised I am back with an update for you on all what happened the other day. Here it is, if you missed it Want to top this off with a big thank you to everyone who left such lovely, thoughtful comments. I honestly didn't expect so many people to see the post, I was thinking maybe an absolute maximum of 100 people and even that seemed like loads. It was lovely to hear back from so many of you, and I'm forever grateful for the fantastic advice most of you gave. Also overjoyed by my new adopted reddit children haha you're all doing amazing and I'm very proud of all of you. Also big thanks to all of the lovely people who sent me such sweet messages of support, and to those of you who reached out to me because you felt you needed someone to talk to. If anyone else feels that way and is in need of dadly advice, do feel free to give me a message and I will do my best to help out :) Okay you all want me to shut up and tell you what happened haha. My son was busy with some assignments both for his freelancing job and his uni work most of the day and I didn't want to disturb him so I waited until after dinner to chat. "Friend" went to have a bath while my son and I watched telly. I tod him face to face "Son, I love you very much. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I want you and [friend] to feel comfortable being yourselves in my house and you don't ever need to hide anything from me, alright?" Well, it turns out a hell of a lot of you were right. Son burst out laughing and said "oh thank God, I reckoned you'd clicked on but didn't say anything because I didn't want to make you feel weird". Basically we've each been pussyfooting around the topic because neither one of us wanted to make the other uncomfortable talking about it. We had a bit of a chat and he confirmed that I'm right in thinking they've been together since their first year of uni and that's why they moved in together in second year. However, apparently I'm not as brilliant and intuitive as I thought because apparently one of his friends in secondary school was his boyfriend for a year and I had absolutely no idea haha. He went and talked to the boyfriend after his bath, and then we all had a bit of a further chat. Sadly a lot of you were right that the reason boyfriend doesn't have a good relationship with his parents is because he came out to them a few years ago and they effectively disowned him, so I made sure he knows that he's a part of our family now. Sorry if that isn't all as exciting and groundbreaking as some of you had hoped haha! I'm glad this is something my boy no longer feels he has to keep from me and I'm very glad he's happy with his partner. Thank you all again for the help!   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fv7ec7/my_son_and_his_friend_are_a_couple_how_do_i_let/) by u/throwralovemygayson*

My son and his "friend" are a couple. How do I let them know it's okay?

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fxa77w/my_son_and_his_friend_are_a_couple_how_do_i_let/

fxh927

[deleted]

How to ask about sex health

r/datingoverthirty

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fxh927/how_to_ask_about_sex_health/

fxhcwt

I feel lame for even asking this, but how can I ask a guy if he gets routinely tested for STD/STIs? Normally I just plainly ask the guy when I see that sex is in our future, but the current guy I'm dating has told me I can be negative at times after I told him I had no proof that he is who he says he is and asked to see his license, so I want to ask him in a way that doesn't come across as accusatory. Any suggestions? Edit: this post isn't about me asking for his license. That was the first time I have ever done that and it was bc I was weirded out that he doesn't have any social media. FWIW, I didn't see his license. Comment: He hasn't given me any reason to doubt him. I have his email address, which is his first and most name and his phone number. I've been in his car and could even write down his license plate number if I wanted. It's really coming from my insecurity I guess. I guess I'm working from a guilty until proven innocent standpoint bc we met on an app and I have no way to know he is who he says he is. He's not shady at all. It's all me wanting to check off a box that he is who he says he is bc I've been lied to before and have heard horror stories about OLD deception.   [**3 Days Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/fvgi4g/update_to_asking_about_safe_sex_post/) I asked about how to nicely ask someone about their safe sex practices. Well I did it in the nicest, non-threatening way I know how and it still went south.   http://imgur.com/a/RNPCsi8 We haven't spoken since I said "ok". So scary what I could have exposed myself to, even with a condom on. On all of our dates we had only kissed on the lips, even after I asked about it. In retrospect that in itself was a clue. I'm a little nervous now about the fact that I kissed him on the lips, if I'm being honest. Thanks for all of the advice.   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/ftexvj/how_to_ask_about_sex_health/)*

'How can I ask a guy I'm seeing about his sexual health?'

r/datingoverthirty

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fxhcwt/how_can_i_ask_a_guy_im_seeing_about_his_sexual/

fxv2a3

I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a few weeks, and he has two kids from a previous marriage. They're about to become teens the both of them and oh my God I'm not ready to live with teens. Or maybe I am, I haven't lived with teens since I lived with my siblings and we only communicated by screaming at each other and our parents. We all get along, they like me and have no issues with me and their dad being a couple. In fact, they're already planning our wedding even though no one has popped any such questions yet. I'm just a bit terrified and overwhelmed by it all. I can't have kids of my own due to an illness, but I've always liked kids. For a year I was a substitute teacher for kids the same age as my soon-to-be stepkids, so I'm not totally unprepared. But it's the stepmother-thing I'm not sure of. I have no idea how to act, my family has always looked down on divorce (I might have been the first one to be divorced and still be included in the family) so there's nowhere I can look to be inspired for non-nuclear families. Except Disney movies, but my bf said I wasn't allowed to "go full Disney stepmom" on his kids. (I practiced the evil laugh for nothing!) How do I squeeze myself into their existing family structure without disrupting or destroying anything? My bf tells me I shouldn't be a mother to his kids, they already have a mother and live with her every other week. I'm just supposed to be an adult that tells them not to hurt each other when I'm the only adult around, and someone they can talk to if they want to. But how do I take place in the lives of two teenagers that are having "the worst day of their life" every once in a while over nothing? I'm terrified. My anxiety is acting up. I simultaneously want to run away forever and to bribe them into loving me with cooking and baking (it has worked so far, with both them and their dad).   [**5 Months Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/eiirn0/i_cant_take_much_more/) in r/Parenting I can't take much more I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, and we've lived together since August. I've been getting along great with his kids, but the last month has been agonizing. His 14-year-old daughter has a boyfriend since a few months, and we found out that every time we do something fun that doesn't include him (bf went to an amusement park with just the kids to have a day for themselves, and on an overnight cruise with his family while I was visiting my sister and her new baby) her boyfriend threatens to kill himself and doesn't answer his phone when she tries to get in touch with him. We tried talking to her about this being mental abuse, but all she heard was that we were going to report him to he police (we never said we would and have no plans on doing so unless he continues and keeps doing this to her). I have first hand experience from a relationship like this when I was a teenager. It completely broke me and spiralled into both mental and physical abuse. And I realize that I might not have healed properly from that, because all of this is giving me panic attacks, palpitations and arrhythmia, even if it's a loooooooong time ago. Every time the boyfriend is coming over, I work overtime or sit in our bedroom, shivering from anxiety. My bf says that I've been a tremendous support in all of this, helping him talk to his daughter and understand what she's going through. And how to express how he wants to help her. But it's taken a lot from me. I can't sleep, I have to go away and hide from everything because it's simply too much. A part of me just wants to run away, to hide and not to be a part of all of this. I have enough trying to handle my own past trauma, I don't know if I have the strength to watch it all go down for someone else. Someone that I care about but doesn't let me care for her. How the heck does one manage to be a step-/bonus-parent in a situation like this? The boyfriend is having trouble with mental illness, drugs and past abuse. To forbid them from seeing each other isn't really an option, because they go to school together. I have absolutely no idea how to do any of this other than running away, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. He's the parent, but I'm co-parenting from the sideline, trying to give his daughter the support and help I needed when I was in the same position.   [**3 Months Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/fpldms/update_cant_take_much_more_teenage_stepdaughter/) I checked my old posts by chance and realised I had written about my stepdaughter and her asshole boyfriend. (Don't know how to link to old posts, but short version is that everytime she did anything fun and he wasn't invited he threatened to kill himself, didn't answer his phone and so on. It reminded me of an asshole boyfriend of my own when I was a few years older than she is now. Like PTSD-flashback reminders.) A while back, me and my boyfriend/her dad was making dinner and she came and stood next to us. Very unlike her, she's very reclusive and spends zero time with us, especially since she met asshole boyfriend (let's call him AB for short). I could see that she was upset so I talked to her while cooking, and it was AB that was the reason for her being upset. He didn't answer his phone, and when she called some random guy had answered and asked why she called. I said "well, as his girlfriend it's kind of okay to be worried and to call" and I saw something break in her and she told us that they were on a break because he was feeling too bad to be in a relationship. And instead he was talking crap about her to everyone. We actually got some alone time to just have a girl talk later that week. I told her the PG version of my experiences, and that it's never okay to have someone treat you badly. It was nice, and it feels good to have bonded with her. Her dad have a few autistic traits and might not always know what needs to be said or done, and her mother is the "this is what we'll do, in fact, I'll just do it and you step back"-type. So I try to be the listener, since that's what's missing. (My bf/her dad is a great listener if you say "I need you to listen to something", but the autistic traits runs in the family so she never asks for it but flips out because no one listens to her or sees her.) Anyhow, they're still broken up, no taking back and she is so much sweeter and nicer to be around now. We get to spend time together to form some sort of new family, instead of her spending her time in her room talking and texting with him and creating a distance everytime she comes out of there. I should tell her that, that we can see that she's feeling better when she's not with him anymore. And that when she finds a new boyfriend he needs to be the kind that lifts her spirits and makes her be this happy, sparkling version of herself.   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/family/comments/chshg6/moving_in_with_boyfriend_and_his_kids_in_a_few/) in r/family by u/memesandunicorns*

I can't take much more

r/Parenting

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fxv2a3/i_cant_take_much_more/

fy3qrx

I've waiting to adopt for years. Finally got my own apartment. I got her because I know she'll make me happy and I hope she's also happy with me. I haven't adopted before. I've seen on people's videos online that it can be challenging. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to gain her trust. I'll give her all my love https://i.redd.it/so9uuqid3rk41.jpg   [**1 Month Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Chihuahua/comments/fxca7k/update_before_and_after_adoption_we_named_her_xena/) We named her Xena. I adopted her the same day she came to the shelter. I had stalked the shelter website for a Chi and went in there after work. They had to keep her a few days to make sure everything was good before releasing her. Not much info on her past. She was found as a stray. She loves going for walks. We're so happy to have her. She's our family now. https://imgur.com/a/ORk5A4p   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Chihuahua/comments/fdmxq7/shes_scared_now_but_she_doesnt_know_i_just/) by u/AprilisC*

She's scared now but she doesn't know I just adopted her and she's coming home in a few days. I'm so happy.

r/Chihuahua

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fy3qrx/shes_scared_now_but_she_doesnt_know_i_just/

fyijia

A friend of mine decided to get a tattoo, and asked me to go with him. He made an appointment with a popular local tattoo artist. I really ended up hitting it off with her. I went through a bad break up last year, and haven’t had much luck dating since, so I decided what the hell, I’ll try a little strange, and asked her out for a drink. It went great. Really great. We’ve been seeing each other for about two months now. Here’s my problem, I’m pretty straight laced. I come from a conservative family, I have a conservative job, my bosses are country club types, I wear a suit to work and play golf on the weekends. She on the other hand is heavily tattooed, which I always found trashy before but for some reason I find it incredibly sexy on her. She’s slightly punk, and is all around the opposite of me. If I decide to get serious with her, my family is going to freak out, I can’t see them ever approving of her. She will hurt my reputation at work and not be good for my career. It sucks but is just straight up true. My friends think it’s weird that I’m dating her and think I’m going through something because of my break up. And this is going to make me sound like an asshole but I am a little worried about what my ex is going to think. I feel like she’ll think I’m trying to get back at her for dumping me. Here’s the thing though, I’m crazy about this girl. She’s gorgeous, successful, driven (wants to open her own shop), off the charts confident, talented, smart, sexy and just all around cool. Sex with her is without a doubt the best I’ve ever had. She’s uninhibited and does things to me that I didn’t know I wanted. It’s dirty and primal. I’ve had to start jerking off before I see her because I don’t last more than two minutes otherwise. She laughs at my shitty jokes. We have a lot in common, like we both love action movies and whiskey. She’s introduced me to things I never would have even given a chance before. Honestly if it weren’t for the judgement, I would marry her tomorrow. I’ve worked really hard for my career and I’m not sure I want to potentially jeopardize it. But on the other hand I’ve never felt this way about anyone. She’s everything I didn’t know I wanted. I’m torn. Really really torn. Should I say fuck it and go for it with her? Edit: I want to thank everyone for their comments, especially the harsh ones. It’s really made me take a hard look at myself and I realize that this is 100% about my hang ups. I have been a lot more judgmental than I ever stopped to consider. I’m going to work on changing that about myself. I’m going to go for it, I think I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t. I’m going to tell her how I feel about her tomorrow. This may have been premature (depending on how tomorrow goes) but I called my sister and told her about my (hopefully) new girlfriend. She was supportive, but she did share the same concerns about our parents. But fuck it, and soon as she’s open to it, I’m going to have her meet them. Hopefully I’ll have a good update tomorrow!   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/cs3yjm/happy_update_im_34m_really_into_this_girl_27f_who/) I’m not sure if anyone will read this but it makes me happy to write about. I’m really glad I posted my original question even though it made me sound like a dick. The comments helped me realize that I was the problem and I needed to get over myself. Letting her slip away because of my judgmental ideas about people would have been a huge mistake. So I invited her over to my place last night and I awkwardly blurted out that I was falling in love with her and I see our relationship going somewhere. She laughed and and asked if I was asking her to go steady lol. She told me she felt the same way. Then we got a pizza and some beer and binge watched a show. And I woke up this morning with her snuggled against me. It was perfect. I’m in love with this woman guys. I feel like my heart is going to explode. She’s the one. I’m going to ask her to marry me one day. Thanks everyone.   *Original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/crc740/im_34m_really_into_this_girl_27f_who_is_the/) by u/anonomousprime*

I’m really into this girl who is the complete opposite of me. I’m afraid dating her will ruin my reputation. What should I do?

Relationship_Advice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fyijia/im_really_into_this_girl_who_is_the_complete/

fyxfh4

[ORIGINAL](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d0xjs9/gecko_found_in_kitchen_uk/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Gecko found in kitchen!!! [UK] Hi all, I've joined today, as my partner and I have found ourselves to be looking after a gecko... This morning, on video chat to my sister, i felt something brush up against my foot. Freaking out, i realised it was a gecko. The previous tenants of the property we are living in owned tons of Geckos, Lizards & Snakes. But they moved out in December last year... So finding this gecko in our kitchen put us into a panic - it must have lived under the fridge this entire time!!! Bare in mind, we are in the UK, so it has been freezing the last week or so, and considering he may have been hiding around our house for 9 months, he's doing SO well! We took the little one to a rescue reptile specialist, who said he has a slim chance of survival, but we have to get it in the right environment, and see if he will start eating some food. So far, he has eaten 1 Wax Worm, and after some very generous kit from the rescue guy, he is in a vivarium, with a heat mat etc. If anyone has any tips for us to help this guy make it, it would be so appreciated. As the Gecko is SO malnourished, we don't know what gender it is, but we are going with it being a boy, and so far, we have named him Wilson. This is how he looked when I found him in the kitchen - he had clearly not shed properly over this time: [https://imgur.com/IL2B7R8](https://imgur.com/IL2B7R8) [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d1vei1/wilson_48_hours_later_its_not_looking_good/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Wilson - 48 hours later, its not looking good... It's really not looking good, we've had a cry as we think this is his last night with us. Hes lost more weight, if that was even possible. His tail is thinner than the first pictures we took. Last night, he was energetic, and happily took critical care formula, after rejecting everything we offered him that moved. And we were ecstatic. Today, he hardly moved at all from one spot. Tonight, my partner picked him up to give him some feed, and he didn't fight back. He reluctantly licked up the ccf, and then didn't have the energy to get off his hand. I dont think his digestive system has kicked in. Although we knew that this was a big possibility, it's still heartbreaking nonetheless. I wish we had found him sooner. [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d2d1zt/wilson_72_hours_later/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Wilson 72 hours later Sorry guys, it's such a rollercoaster at the moment that I'm trying to document it, but also share good news and get advice all at the same time... So. Last night was tough. And a big fat rollercoaster in itself. We cried a lot, and thought Wilson (who by the way we are potentially renaming to Pea) was on his way out to reptile heaven. For some last ditch efforts, we sprayed the tank for some moisture, gently spraying him too (hygrometer was on the way), and lo and behold; Suddenly sluggish and sad Wilson(Pea) became spritely and started running around... Doing some more research, we decided to give him a warm soak, and although slightly reluctant at first, he laid down and took in the warm water. We left him to chill after that, with all limbs crossed that he would make it another night... Morning came, and still here, he was moving between hides, and seemed quite relaxed. 9 hours later, I'm back home from work, and my partner had some fight back when trying to hold him to syringe him his ccf, and apparently got a hiss (?) from him... Now he going between hides again and seems pretty chill again... sometimes looks scared if we walk past, becoming more aware maybe? He did what we think MIGHT be a poo, but it's very running and cream/white looking so we dont know if he regurgitated or pooped but we will have to spot if he does it again as we aren't sure. We will be taking him to a vet this week for sure to be checked for parasites and anything else he may have going on.. [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d32x1g/wilson_pea_4_days_later/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): My 4 day update... His energy is getting up and although we've noticed he is sleeping during the night, and buzzing in the day, hes active; wandering the tank, hes been moving between hides. All positive things. I've booked him in for a vet appointment for friday evening (uk) so we are hoping for some positive things and a path to head in the right direction. We keep saying that he hasn't put any weight on yet but we forget it's only been 4 days... Last night, he wasnt interested in worms again, so we continued with ccf which he GULPED down, and thankfully he seems to be getting a bit more used to our presence. The best news is though, this morning, my other half before work offered him a worm as he has done every morning so far, and although he struggled to grab it, lunging all over the place, eventually HE DID IT. HE ATE A MEALWORM ON HIS OWN. 😭🙌 Again... we know its early days, but any progress is progress right!!! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d3cr7l/wilson_pea_day_5_substrate_changing_tomorrow/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Wilson [Pea] Day 5 ((SUBSTRATE CHANGING TOMORROW)) So, day 5 post. As mentioned in the title, the substrate was wrongly suggested to us to begin with, although it is play sand ("safer"), we have some Arcadia Earth mix coming tomorrow, after I had ordered the Exo Terra Sand mat, which arrived with TONS of loose sand. As you can see, we tried the cup trick to get his attention, and after the mealworm he ate this morning, we thought we should give them a try. I gutloaded them a bit today with some carrot, and we coated them in the cup with Nutrobal to up his amount of calcium and D3. It warmed our hearts so much to see him to go for the worms on his own. After 3, he scared himself by having one wiggle over his foot, so hid away. We tried to get him to have some CCF as well, but considering all in all he went from eating no worms or solids at all, to eating 4 in 1 day is a big achievement. We will give him an offering of some food tomorrow morning before work, and then we have vets at 6, so fingers crossed!! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d4m6gr/wilson_now_known_as_pea_update_1_week_1/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Wilson (Now known as Pea) Update - 1 WEEK [+1] Very sorry that I didn't post yesterday, it was family time, and although Pea was attended to, I didn't have time to even look at my phone! So. 1 week on from finding little Pea in my kitchen, she has made masses of progress. Monday was definitely our worst day, where we thought she wouldn't even make through the night, but everything is now falling into place. She is eating mealworms and/or wax worms every day, either from a cup or from tongs. She now approaches us if we put a hand in the viv, and she is SO energetic. Our biggest worry is that her digestive wouldn't kick back in fully, but this morning we found a semi solid poo from her, which is amazing. Who ever thought I'd celebrate poo... We've got her in bio substrate, and yes, lots of people said that because shes sick, we should have use paper towels, but because she has had the life she had up to when we found her, I want her to feel like she is settling into her forever home. And I do not want her to be forever on paper towels. We can still monitor Pea well, as we have been, and now she can start to completely settle without us moving her around etc. The vet recommended daily soaks, so we are going to do that, and keep providing her nutrients and supplements with her meal worms every day. Honestly, this week has been VERY tough, with a huge rollercoaster of emotions. Although there could still be issues further down the line, I believe we are through the worst of it, and Pea is genuinely on a road to recovery. Thank you to everyone who has been messaging and posting high spirits, hopes and prayers. It's been helpful and uplifting. I'll continue to do less regular updates/changes. Side note : it was only friday we found out he was actually a she, and I'm still not used to it!!! I've just had to regender the whole post 😂 [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d7bqsq/pea_wilson_week_2/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea/ Wilson Week 2 Hey guys, I've had quite a few messages for pictures and updates, but we've been trying to leave her alone a little more to settle into her home, and this has meant feeding, cleaning poop and changing water, giving her the occasional soak and then leaving her be. Today we experienced our first shed with her. I took some pictures, but my concern is that she is looking more dull in colour than she used to be... We have been feeding her about 4 mealworms a day, coated in calcium. (Gutloaded) She hates nutrobal so we give it to her every other day or so with a Wax Worm. Her water has some electrolytes etc in it. We've talked about getting a uv lamp, but she should still get the vitamins from the powders we are providing her, so any help would be amazing!! Some pics below! http://imgur.com/gallery/MmC0ft7 [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d88hgh/pea_wilson_having_a_peek_expecting_noms_noms_were/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] having a peek, expecting noms. Noms were provided. [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d929cr/pea_wilson_tail_getting_chunkier/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson]- tail getting chunkier! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/d95n03/a_better_comparison_of_pea_wilson/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): A better comparison of Pea [Wilson] [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dacf4w/pea_wilson_putting_some_decent_weight_on_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] putting some decent weight on! and getting used to me being around her! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dbf0ht/lil_pea_wilson/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Lil Pea [Wilson] [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dbz88v/10_days_later_another_shed_peawilson/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): 10 days later, another shed!!! (Pea[Wilson]) [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dcvh7x/peas_got_her_space_suit_on/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea got her spacesuit on! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dga7sv/pea_wilson_still_going_still_growing/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] still going, still growing Someone on my older post reminded me that I hadn't actually posted any pics or updates really for a while, so here's one. Shes eating about 8 mealies a day now, and some days she seems to get bored of them, so I am still considering moving onto Dubia roaches or something even though I'm still a bit freaked by the worms... With my partner, she is having very chill days, where he will lay his hand in the tank and she will scuttle over and jump on board for 10 mins or so. With me, shes much more interested in my hair... she will follow my hair like its food, ignoring my hand, and then get bored and bugger off. I have had one instance which was cute, where I was talking to her, with her watching me, and I swooshed my hair out of my face, and she did the hunting tail flick thing. She didn't go for me, but I was proud of her in a way to be doing "normal things" if you know what I mean. We will be upgrading her tank VERY soon, as we think she might be getting bored. When shes active which isnt often, she does full loops of the tank, climbing everything she physically can twice or so, and then hiding again... Anyway, shes doing well, enjoying warm soaks, eating calcium and supplements with food, pooping. All pretty good. Ref the belly question I had before, I was worried because it looked big, I'm now thinking her arm muscles are still so tiny that she doesn't hold herself upright much other than when she walks, so it hands lower... dont think its anything to worry about. :) [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/di331w/pea_wilson_back_in_her_space_suit_again/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] back in her spacesuit AGAIN?! So, I'm pretty sure my last space suit post (Pea getting ready to shed) was only on the 3rd October. I come to see her this morning and there she is, all suited up AGAIN!!! SURELY 12 days is a very short amount of time between sheds?! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dikyke/pea_wilson_third_shed_not_good_info_in_comments/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] third shed- NOT GOOD, info in comments So I've woken up this morning to Pea having partially completed her latest shed. With exception to on her feet, the usual and across her face. Now when I say across her face, I mean pulling INTO her eyes, making her eyes sink in completely, and her eyelids double in size... I used a cotton bud to loosen some of the skin, and managed to get a piece loose, to which I got hold of, and she tugged herself away, relieving the issues. However, when she tugged away, a MASSIVE amount came out of her mouth, like she had been eating the skin but pulling it tighter as she did. I went over her skin again very gently with the cotton bud to give her some moisture, and slowly her eyes seemed to come back out. One (not in the picture) still looks swollen but the eye itself doesn't look damaged or infected. I will note, she was NOT happy with me after this, idk if it was because of the skin help, cotton buds or her eyes adjusting, but her tail flicked a little, and I knew at that point, she needed to sleep off some rage... This is her third shed with us, and if you've seen my posts before, she space suits, so the last bits of skin she sheds are her face. How can I make this easier for her? We give her warm soaks on the days leading up to her shed, and the days after too, to make sure that any left over skin comes off more easily. Are there any supplements that we can give her (beyond 1 weekly nutrobal, and daily calcium)? I would just like to help her in some way. She always suffers with skin left on her face, and for those who have been following my posts since we found her (or she found us(?)), its clear it's always been a problem for her on her face, by how much stuck shed she had from over the 9 months in my kitchen... Any hints, tips etc would be AMAZING! Also, I will likely be doing a few posts today as we have a whole new setup coming for her. I promised that if she made it through the first month getting better and thicker, that I would give her the best possible life I could, a life of luxury. And luxury is arriving this afternoon... [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dkg8oc/pea_wilson_update/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] update Apologies to everyone expecting the tank update, apparently when the website told me it was in stock, they lied. So it should be delivered monday evening (uk) , so watch this space!! Feeding her today, I realised that she has now got spots on her back, which must have appeared after her last shed... doesn't that mean her morph isnt what people thought it was? Before food, she, for the first time(with me) climbed up onto my hands and arm for a short time... shes always getting onto my partners hand, but not mine, so this was a mini accomplishment for me. Final note, I'm aware she has stuck shed on her eyelid. Trying to get it off with a cotton bud has been mega hard, and her eye is still slightly swollen, but she seems okay with it, and no sign of infection, so im just gonna keep trying with the qtips and hope for the best. [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dl622k/pea_wilson_tank_upgrade_link_in_comments/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] tank upgrade [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dny2b7/pea_wilson_forever_watching/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] forever watching [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dny2tf/pea_wilson_when_the_attempt_at_hiding_their/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson]- When the attempt at hiding their reflection turns into a scary movie moment [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dq83b2/advice_for_pea_please_inspect_quantities/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Advice for Pea please- inspect quantities? Okay, so by now most of you know Pea [Wilson], and her size. Shes still small, if she IS an adult Gecko but as we dont know her actual age, we feed her what she will eat. So far, she was eating up to 8 mealworms a day. We've since introduced Dubia Roaches, and I unfortunately ordered the wrong size... as a result, she would eat one medium one (but on a slightly small size medium) and maybe 3 meal worms, and then give up. Since starting with dubias, she seems a bit less interested in mealies and chows on dubias with ease. We've kept to the 1 dubia and 3 or 4 mealies a day, but cause we are still trying to help her "bulk up" a bit, how many SMALL dubias x meal worms would all recommend we feed? Some small dubias will be arriving in the post tomorrow, so we will move onto these until she is a bit bigger. Side note, all feeder insects are gut loaded with carrot or apple, and coated in arcadia insect fuel. For those who are new to little Pea, here is a pic of her having a climb on my partners hand. http://imgur.com/gallery/be0zCZg [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dq0epw/peawilson_fresh_after_a_shed_colourful_as_ever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] fresh after a shed, colourful as ever! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dslnka/pea_wilson_2_month_update_one_day_early_kitchen/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] 2 month update (one day early) - Kitchen Gecko Here it is - one day early (not available to post tomorrow) - it marks 2 months since our little Princess Pea appeared from out under our fridge/freezer. It has been ONE HELL of a journey, that probably isnt entirely over until she gets up too a "normal" adult geck size, or at least as close as she can get to this after her malnutrition. We've had many, many tears; some of absolute fear for her recovery, and some of pure happiness over how far shes come. It feels like yesterday when my partner and I would come home early from work after being anxious that she would have passed away while we weren't there. We still celebrate the little victories, her eating a good meal, each good shed, which are getting better and better each time. Even celebrating when she has an adventurous day, and sits on the sofa with us in the evening. I cannot express the love we have for this little gecko. She is our world, Princess Pea 👑🦎 Also, look at her cute little stubby toes. There was nothing we could have done to have saved her toes, but they haven't stopped her from climbing everything and anything!!! Last note, I still dont have a dingdong clue on her morph 🧐 [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dwnk89/peas_wilson_first_ever_unaided_successful_shed/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Peas [Wilson] first ever unaided, successful shed! She actually used her moist hide for the first time, and now my yellow orange baby is back. I'll post more pics when shes over her after-shed strop [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/dyqohh/pea_wilson_in_all_her_post_shed_colourful_glory/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] - in all her post shed colourful glory [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/e66ei2/pea_wilson_3_months_3_days_turning_into_a_tiny/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Pea [Wilson] - 3 months (- 3 days) - turning into a tiny chunk Princess Pea 👑 Despite her journey, our Pea is still growing, still thriving. On a dubia roach diet (Peas choice), we are still feeding daily, but will start to slow down once her weight is at a suitable amount. I'll continue to do a monthly update, but I doubt there will be big changes. I'm unbelievably proud of how hard she fought through the beginning, and how she is still pushing through now. I'll likely take her to the vets just for a check up soon, just to ensure everything is going great. I personally dont think she will ever gain weight on the end of her tail, and it will always have kinks in it following her malnutrition but we will just have to see how it changes. Thanks again to everyone who has helped me along the way, including this sub in general! 💛🧡 EDIT progress is from right to left. She was found in my kitchen -see previous posts- and when I mean tiny chunk, I mean that she is getting chunkier but is still very small in length and is still classified as underweight but she is starting to beef up [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/ee3827/its_been_a_while_pea_wilson_on_an_adventure/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): It's been a while... Pea [Wilson] on an adventure [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/eepmpw/caught_pea_mid_mlem_also_cannot_believe_her/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Caught Pea mid mlem. Also, cannot believe her colours! [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/ehaj65/new_phone_which_means_new_close_ups_princess_pea/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): New Phone which means new close ups 🧡💛 Princess Pea [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/esfmag/is_little_pea_ovulating_chunky_belly_when_she/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Is little Pea ovulating? Chunky belly when she lays down, but still eating? Not belly Mark's though 🤔 - also - she's now been with us 4 and a half months! 💛🧡 [UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/leopardgeckos/comments/ew1yuk/queen_pea_my_little_poser/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share): Queen Pea, my little poser!

Gecko found in kitchen!!! [UK]

r/leopardgeckos

bowl_of_petunias_

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fyxfh4/gecko_found_in_kitchen_uk/

fz8yu4

*Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/uberdrivers/comments/9t7wb5/just_got_robbed_by_gunpoint/) in 2018*   Holy shit guys, I was in Santa Monica dropping off a pax and I was waiting there after for about 10 minutes waiting for another ride, when a guy in a blue dodgers shirt and hat walked past my car, walked behind the trunk, and pulled what looked like a fuckin Uzi out of his waistband, cocked it, and walked up to my window. My windows just happened to be rolled down and he came to my side pointed the huge ass gun in my face and said, “give me your money”. I told him I didn’t have much money and he told me to just give me my wallet and to not look at his face. I gave him my wallet and he walked down the street and I drove off in the opposite direction. As soon as I make a turn I called 911. I told the operator what happened and she told me to go back on that street and wait for the police which kinda sketched me out because I thought that the guy might come back. Anyways I go back and after a couple minutes two cop cars come. They told me they found someone matching the description but they didn’t find the big ass gun, just a magazine. After explaining to them what had happened they took me to go do a field test? They took me in a cruiser to where they were holding the suspect, so I could let them know if they got the right guy or not. And I told them that it was for sure him. The officers that were with me told me that they just happened to be down the street when they got the call and that they saw him right away. I ended up getting my wallet back and everything that was in it and now I have to speak to a detective in a couple days and eventually go to court. Fuck man, that was probably the scariest moment of my life. Be safe guys. It doesn’t matter what neighborhood your in, I was in the nice part of Santa Monica, on the side streets right by barrington and wilshere. Never have your car stopped on the side of the road this late at night.   **Update:** Just got a call from the detective and was told the gun was recovered. He sent me a picture to confirm if it was the one and it was. It’s a Walther MPL. Looks kinda like an Uzi because of the long magazine in the middle. **Comment:** The dispatcher was the one who told me to go back to where I was and said that the police were gonna show up any minute. The officers reasoning for the field test was that they found someone matching the description but couldn’t find any gun on him, so I had to go and see if it was the right guy. I got in the back of a police car and they drove me to where the suspect was. As soon as we made a right onto the street, they stopped the car. The suspect was in the middle of the street with other officers next to him. He was probably about 40-50 feet away. The officer next to the suspect flashed his light on his face a couple of times until I told the officer in the car that they indeed got the right guy.   [**UPDATE**](https://www.reddit.com/r/uberdrivers/comments/a2t865/update_on_armed_robbery_in_santa_monica/) As most of you know I got robbed by gunpoint about a month ago. I just wanted to let you guys know I went to court on the 21st of November, and the D.A called me a couple days ago and told me the guy got 9 years in state prison. He was a first time offender and he will have two strikes on his record from now on.

Just got robbed by gunpoint

r/uberdrivers

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fz8yu4/just_got_robbed_by_gunpoint/

fzz72i

I will have been in this rental property for 10 years this year. In all that time, I've never actually met my land lord. He lives in another state. He used to have properties both in my state and in his state, but after the recession in 08 he mostly pulled everything back to his state. My original lease was for the first year here, after that we never signed another lease but we've never had any issues at all about that. I've always paid the rent by making a deposit directly to his account at his bank. When anything goes wrong, he's quick to hire repairmen. We've had a good relationship for the last decade, even if we don't know what the other looks like in person. Cue coronavirus. My SO and myself both work in the hospitality industry, and restaurant\bars have been shut down for a month now with no clear end in sight. Unemployment hasn't kicked in yet and we haven't gotten any stimulus check. Rent is due, but we wanted to talk to our landlord about postponing payments until we started working again. The landlord's phone goes straight to voicemail. The voicemail box is full Everytime we call. He hasn't responded to texts or emails. We've been trying to get s hold of him for over 2 weeks now. Although I've never seen him, he sounds like an older dude and I'm worried about him. I'm also worried about my household. What happens if he's not okay? I can provide other details if they might be helpful. Edit: I found the property tax information and it only lists his middle initial and a PO box for my state and county. Edit: thanks to a lot of help, some info has been tracked down and I have an address that I'm pretty sure is my land Lords actual house (not just a PO box that might not be checked often). I'm going to send a certified letter over that way explaining my situation and proposing a payment plan for deferred rent. In the mean time, I'm going to keep as much money put aside as possible until I get cash coming in again, when payments will be resumed. I'll let you guys know if I hear back.   [**1 Day Later**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fygjee/update_i_think_my_landlord_may_be_dead_or/) Lots of folks wanted an update post so here we go. First off I want to thank all the people who offered advice and help for this problem. I was able to find and get a hold of my landlord! It's was not the most exciting or interesting outcome-and I'm glad for that. Turns out the dude's cellphone got stolen. That's why his voice mail box stayed full. We got back in touch yesterday and are working out a pandemic payment plan for the rent during the shutdown. Sorry it wasn't a cooler story, but I'm glad it was a small first world problem and not something more sad. Thanks again, Reddit!   *Originally [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/fxb7s8/i_think_my_landlord_may_be_dead_or_hospitalized/) by u/SeaOfBullshit*

I think my landlord may be dead or hospitalized and I don't know what to do

LegalAdvice

bestupdator

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/fzz72i/i_think_my_landlord_may_be_dead_or_hospitalized/

g0364q

[removed]

Just a lighthearted post for Easter

misc

[deleted]

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/g0364q/just_a_lighthearted_post_for_easter/