text
stringlengths 0
36.4k
|
---|
My penis |
Do-re-mi
Im incomplete |
Chips
Chips |
Fuck you |
Dont be good to your neighbor
Dont be good to your neighbor
Just kill him |
Gonna sing a really dumb song and then post it online |
Said What the fuck?
Im not sure |
Ive written way too many songs, too many songs
All of them short and dumb and none of them long
And none of them strong
Tomorrow is a brand new day
Tomorrow is a brand new day
I hope Macys is open |
CHORUS: How to remember your name?
NARRATOR: You can use descriptive words in a poem about your best qualities.
The poem scrolls through the screen:
Friendly
Rememberable
Enthralling
Tranquil
Zoomy
Expedient
Liturgical
Demonstrative
Unilateral
Recursive
Mild
Factual
, which spells out as Fretzeldurmf.
On a bright pink background, the text for more useful tips, check on the web! is shown. |
Theres a large penis statue
In the middle of town
Theres a large penis statue in the middle of town
Its got germs on it its got monkeys on it
Its got evil on it its got rabies on it
And theres devils and children standing all around
And theres devils and children standing all around it
Havent you heard the news?
Havent you heard the truth?
And i hope you do
Its appalling
Its enthralling
Its unnerving
And subservient
And its curious
Were gonna fall in love
Were gonna fall in love
Rabbits make their way from A to B
Rabbits dont care what they eat
Rabbits dont know what they see
Rabbits dont pretend to need advice from trees
Or advice from me
People riding in cars like to show the world how much they care about it
By rolling over its surfaces
People paying their taxes like to include more
Just in case they didnt pay enough
Theres no control over the marketplace
Theres no control over the price of things
Theres no control over the things you do
And theres no good way to explain the truth
What do i got to do to complete this picture ive been painting
About fun, love, jazz, joy, and freedom? what do i have to do to get you hatchback driving nanny lesbians to truly feel it?
Maybe ill jump in a river
Just to clear my head
Maybe ill wave a flag in front of a bull and paint it red
Maybe ill jump over a field
Maybe ill crawl under the sky
Maybe ill hide under a mountain and adjust my tie
Im on the phone
Im on the phone, phone
And im all alone, lone
See im on my own, own
Cause ive got no home
Ive got no clothes, clothes
That i can put on, on
This is how i know, know
That my hope is gone
Theres a large penis statue
In the middle of town
Cause i know that all hope is gone |
Eek!
I got a tape deck
I got a tape deck
Let it rattle around
I got a tape deck in my basement
Playing that classical hip hop music
I got clothing
I got skateboards
And Im trying to find my way back home
Cause Im tired and sad and got no soul
Why is it so hard to see?
Im so alone and I cant get free
I cant breathe
I cant see |
Hey baby
Buy my car |
Shows the video title a Play featuring an iphone power block and a mechanical pencil.
A upward-facing iPhone power block and a magenta-coloured mechanical pencil rests on the table.
POWER BLOCK: hi
PENCIL: hi
POWER BLOCK: how was your day
PENCIL: it was pretty good i had a nice lunch
POWER BLOCK: oh good. me too
PENCIL: what are we
POWER BLOCK: i have no idea
PENCIL: do you think there is anyone who knows
POWER BLOCK: maybe
POWER BLOCK: i think i am probably a house, and you are probably a lamp, .. or a fax machine
PENCIL: im thinkng of going for a bike ride tomorrow
POWER BLOCK: thats good.
PENCIL: do you like biking
POWER BLOCK: no
PENCIL: do you have an iphone charger
POWER BLOCK: no i dont use an iphone.
PENCIL: what kind of phone do you have
POWER BLOCK: i actually still use a flip phone.
PENCIL: did you see saturday night live this weekend
POWER BLOCK: yes.
PENCIL: what did you think
POWER BLOCK: i think it was the same as the other ones
PENCIL: ok, just checking
PENCIL: when is daylight savings time?
POWER BLOCK: i think it was last weekend
PENCIL: i think its next weekend
POWER BLOCK: i think it was last weekend, but you may be right.
PENCIL: i dont think i am going to vote in the next election
POWER BLOCK: why not
PENCIL: because i think they deleted my vote last time
POWER BLOCK: what do you think the difference is between a theater and a theatre?
PENCIL: a theater needs to have seats, a stage, and a box office. a theatre can be anywhere, or anything
POWER BLOCK: is this a theatre?
PENCIL: i think so.
POWER BLOCK: cool.
PENCIL: who do you think February has only 28 days?
POWER BLOCK: valentines day used to be 3 days, but it was so fucking Shitty they decided to combine it all into one day, at least i think thats the reason
PENCIL: oh ok, cool.
Shows the text THE END. |
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins
Napkins |
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la |
I couldnt succeed at what I’m doing |
Rickrolls the viewer by playing the intro of Rick Astleys Never Gonna Give You Up.
Types ]]] on the bottom right of the blue screen. |
Bugs |
I dont like teddy bears
I dont like teddy bears, because
Because one of them killed me |
Im standin in line
Im wastin my time
Im raisin my hand higher than
Im takin my life
Im takin my time
Im takin it right
Im sayin what I need to then
Im wavin goodbye
Im wavin my arms around
Tryna get you to see
Im wavin my big arms around
All over the screen
Ill do anything to get you to believe
And Ill do anything just to get you to believe
I wanna sail you away
I wanna sail you away again
I wanna bring you to space
I wanna show you the way
Im sittin next to a box of chocolate wafers
And I think they know my name
And I think my girl is coming home soon
And I know that she loves me
I wanna tell you today
I wanna tell you the way I pray
I wanna bring you to space
I wanna take you away |
Im still silly
Im still silly
Im still silly
Im still siddily-diddily
I havent read the paper in 18 years
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my
So I think Ill just return to my spaceship |
Dear Lord... oh
Make me write my songs
Make me write my songs
Make me write my songs
Oh, make me write my songs |
Im about to graduate from school
Im about to graduate from school
I can say whatever I want
And I know I can make it sound good
Heres a penguin with feet
He walks along and stares straight at me
Hes got a gun but hes not gonna shoot me
Cause he knows I know what he needs
Pistachios
Pistachios
Pistachios
And money
Im about to graduate from school
Im about to graduate from school
I can say whatever I want
And I know I can make it sound good
Bubbles are bubbling out of a bubble gun
Toys are fun
I can write a song or two each morning if I feel like it
Cause I aint got to worry about any of your rules or follow them Because
Im about to graduate from school
Im about to graduate from school
I can say whatever I want
Cause I know I can make it sound good
The bombs gonna go off
The bombs gonna go off
The bomb is gonna go off
And then I can say whatever the damn hell I want
Im about to graduate from school
Im about to graduate from school
I can say whatever I want
Cause I know I can make it sound good
Im about to graduate from school
Im gonna graduate and then I can be so cool
The time has come for me to say whatever the hell I please |
Die |
frequently asked questions are shown inside a rectangle.
NARRATOR: Whats two plus two?
CHORUS: A billion! |
A text loading content with the loading symbol is shown.
content moves across the screen, with a car roaming back and forth in the background.
NARRATOR: I just wanna pause for a minute and analyze this content. As you can see from the position of the ca-
CHORUS: I feel like a bad person. |
A-b-c-d-e-f-g
H-i |
Go back to where you belong |
Movies are nice
Movies are cool
And I watch them all-day
Til I puke |
Snails travelling in the background while snail time!! is flashing on the screen
Synth music degraded, while the text jail time is displayed in front of jail bars |
Every day I eat bread
Every day I eat bread
And it makes me feel so goddamn right
I think Ill just sit in my bed
That dont bother me
It dont bother me and my head
Every day I try to fly a plane
That dont mean Im getting older
Im getting closer
Every day I try to make things right
Thats the reason I explode here
Trying to get things right
You dont have to try
You dont have to say goodbye
You dont have to listen
You just have to feel sure
Every day I get crazy
Every day I get green
And I think about the things that I
Think that Id like to think
And It makes me feel alright
Just to sit alone and get high
Every day I try to make lightning strike
At every different angle
At each and every moment
Every day I try to close my eyes
And feel all the things that I feel inside
You dont have to lie
You dont have to make it right
You just have to listen
To your imagination
Every day I try to do all the things that Im supposed to do
All at the same time cause time is running out
Maybe one day Ill be able to stop time and think things through
You dont have to try
You dont have to say goodbye
You dont have to listen
You just have to feel sure
You dont have to try
You dont have to tell your friend goodbye
You just have to make sure
You remember how to do this
We aint gotta say much
Youve just gotta mean it |
Darkness for 60 seconds is shown. |
Synth music plays over the text tomato anxiety, with a drawn tomato behind the text.
The drawn tomato shrinks, with texts perhaps im in debt. and and unpopular also popped up under it. |
I just got home from work that puts me at home
And home is a stationary place
I think Ill shoot myself in the knee bone
My knees will be sore for the rest of time
Ow |
Shows the flashing video title cool facts about bill wurtz.
BILL WURTZ: I have a car. But its bad.
Conducts a survey to the viewers, asking the following:
did you feel as though the facts in the presentation were cool?
did the facts seem believable?
did you enjoy the facts?
how did you hear about these facts
- from a friend
- from an enemy
- you did not hear the facts |
Shows the video title q&a with plants with a cartoon plant on the right
NARRATOR: Dear plant, hows your life?
CHORUS: Well Im addicted to sunshine! |
Im in Bryant Park and I feel so amazing
Im in Bryant Park and I feel fine
Im in Bryant Park with nothing on my mind and I feel fine
Ima teach you how to do a standing backflip
Ima teach you how to talk real smooth
I can show you how to do anything you want to do
But I know you dont wanna see
And I know you dont wanna see
Cause you know the consequences of being free
And you know that theres no getting out once you get into its streets
Im in Bryant Park and I feel like a robber
Im in Bryant Park and I feel like a fool
Cause I dont know what Im doing or who I am but Im tryna write music
Drink tea |
NARRATOR: Where do babies come from?
CHORUS: Grownups!
NARRATOR: Where do grownups come from?
CHORUS: Babies!
NARRATOR: Where do babies come from?
CHORUS: Grownups!
NARRATOR: Where do grownups come from?
CHORUS: Babies!
CHORUS: Now you know! |
Shut up |
Call me old fashioned
But I still drink beans from the can |
facts about plastic flashes on the screen.
CHORUS: It tastes really good. And its real special!
thats plastic! pops up on the screen. |
We Wish You A Merry Christmas plays in the background throughout the video.
A spinning cartoon Christmas tree with the text we wish you a merry christmas, together with a couple dancing people beneath, is shown.
Coloured text and we hope that its good is enlarged.
Brand logos such as Target, Amazon, Best Buy, GameStop and Barnes & Noble are shown with the encouragement please buy lots of gifts from all of the stores.
Christmas-themed green wrapping paper are displayed and thrown in a garbage pail, with the text and wrap them in paper, and then throw them away.
Lists out some gift ideas with respective photos associated with them, including blanket, sweater, scarf, snowmobile, podium, plant, flower pot, skis, groupons, plastic, eggs, mountains, convertibles, sushi and lots of grass.
Show cartoon depictions of a house and a family, with the text stay home from work to be with your family.
Show stores who open 24 hours, including MacDonalds, Walgreens, Dunkin Donuts and Foxconn, with the text but dont worry, the people that work in 24 hour stores will still go to work.
we wish you a merry christmas text in different styles and sizes fills up the screen, then the text and hopefully next christmas will be good too. |
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home
I wanna go home |
Dont look in a boot
I just put my boot in a shoe |
Think I just made some bread in my head |
I think the world should change
I think the world should change
I think the world should change
Oh, yeah
Ive got a feathered box and I read it
And I read it
And I read it
Oh, I read it
And I think the world can change |
What the fuck |
Yeah
I have the heebity-deebity-deebity-deebity-deebitys |
Hello |
This is not a song
I did not write it
You can not sing it
You do not just hear it
You are not a person |
You can drive a Chevy
Dot com |
Fuckin cool sports!
Showing a list of cool sports, including bad ball, racey run, answer the telephone, green man, hurdle jump, space towel, hide in the cabinet and pebbles. |
I was wondering how to feel |
I hope we figure it out |
Shows the video title asdfjaisdfjiasdjf on a blue background, and define the phrase as kindness. |
Theres no harm in saying what you mean
Theres no harm in saying what you want
Theres no harm in saying what you choose
Cause youve got to be who you are |
Im gonna hit you in the head with a baseball bat
Im gonna hit you in the head with a video game system
Im gonna name the animals one by one
And then im gonna go and have fun
Because it is the summertime
Because it is the summertime
Because it is the summertime
We like to get things right
And we like to get real high
And we like to sleep all night |
I write stupid music
And a lot of people like my music
Damn, they must be stupid |
I feel so hungry
And I feel so lonely
What am I gonna do?
I wanna go to Burger King
I want to go to Burger King
I wanna go to Burger King, oh yeah
I want to go to Burger King right now
Yeah, yeah
Oh, man, I wanna go to Burger King. |
Types ]]]] on the bottom right of the blue screen. |
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna kill you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
Im gonna murder you
I dont appreciate you making things so hard for me
And I really wish you would just shut up and die
I dont appreciate you showing your face around this place
And I really want you to just kill yourself
Im an apple pie
I look into the sky to make things right
And when the sky is touched I say goodbye
Everything falls into the place where it belongs, it belongs
Everything goes where its supposed to go
I have a demon
I have a demon
You have a demon too
Im gonna kill mine
Im gonna kill mine
You should kill yours too
Then well get stoned
Then well get stoned
Then well get stoned |
Jingle bells
Im a cop |
Guess Ill have to go down south |
Ive been thinking a long time |
CHORUS: Conversation with a pizza pie.
NARRATOR: Hi.
PIZZA: 10100101101010101010101011101001001110101101 |
Homework help
Just try to have a good time
And dont die |
I am vibrating
I am vibrating
Because I sit here at this desk
I am a piece of lightning and thats great
Im gonna raise my right hand, then Im gonna raise my left
Cause would do anything in this world
To show you that its time to rock and roll
I cant seem to see anything home right here
No, I dont want to relate to your jacket and chair
Im just fine where I am, and it makes me really nervous
When I have to get somewhere
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
My cars got no window so I cant see |
Thinkin bout doin some content |
Gonna buy a car
And then change it |
Hi, its |
Cable television |
What am I trying to say?
Im trying to say that I wanna be free
What am I trying to say?
That I wanna be free
Free as can be
Free as can be
That means that I dont like being in jail
It aint fun and you cant go anywhere
Rap records sell, most of them are made from jail
Cause you cant go anywhere
Thats why most of them get done
Cause nothing to do and nowhere to run
What am I trying to say?
Trying to say that I wanna be free
Oh, I wanna be free as can be
Ooh, I wanna be free as can be
And I dont want to have to sell any records
Said I shouldnt be required to fulfill no contracts
And I aint gonna sell my soul |
Rocknroll confusion
Rocknroll confusion
Rocknroll confusion
Lets have fun and confuse them |
McDonalds is a great place to think
McDonalds is a great place to think
Theres nothing like hearing the sound of
Poisonous chemicals in the morning
As you drink your terrible coffee and try to think |
Cruel sports
Having a bad day
And destroying the entire world |
Throw away the garbage pail, get a brand new garbage pail |
Counts down from 3 to 1 for goats.
CHORUS: Goats.
CHORUS: Goats.
CHORUS: Ghosts. |
Gonna do the thing
Finally do the thing |
Just ran out of videos
What am I gonna do? |
Sheep |
Hello |
You know, I sometimes think to myself
What are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuck |
I dont understand anything |
Cant write songs so Ill just
Make a silly thing |
PAUL MCCARTNEY: I was always frightened of classical music. And I never wanted to listen to it.
PAUL MCCARTNEY: A taxi driver the other day had some sheet music of a Mozart thing,
PAUL MCCARTNEY: And I said, Whats that? You know, and he said
PAUL MCCARTNEY: Oh, hoh. Oh well, thats the high-class stuff. You wont like that. He said
PAUL MCCARTNEY: No no, you wont like that. I said
PAUL MCCARTNEY: Well, what is it?, you know. He said Oh no, you wont like it. You know, its high-class, that. And uh, that kind of way I always used to think of it. I used to think Well you know, thats very clever, all that stuff. And it isnt! You know, its just exactly whats going on in pop at the moment.
PAUL MCCARTNEY: Pop music is the classical music of now. |
Goodbye |
NARRATOR: Pick a card.
CHORUS: Its the two of spades!
NARRATOR: OK. You can keep it.
CHORUS: Thats magic! |
Gross insides |
Grow mushrooms on the sidewalk |
CHORUS: No seriously, how do you find love?
CHORUS: Outside |
This world is filled with lots of evil spirits
They make it hard to understand
If you look left or right at any time
Youre bound to come in contact with one of yours or mine
I can feel the presence of another world inside these walls
And under these floors
I can feel the hearts and minds of millions of strong individuals Ready to explore
Breathe
Dream
I can feel the clock tick
And it feels like dynamite in my hands
And I feel like some of us have been waiting our whole lives to understand
So pull the curtain
Pull the curtain on this shit
Just pull the curtain
Pull the curtain on this shit
Just pull the curtain
So we can feel certain
About where we stand
Lightning strikes all of us twice in a lifetime
Why cant it be at the same time?
And it only happens every thousand years
So crawl under the bridge and make yourself a wish
Get it under your skin and you do it like this
Oh you do it like this
Theres a demon in you, theres a demon in me
Theres a demon in everyone around
Theres a demon in all of your best friends
And its nice to know that theres a place where
They can go where they will never be found
By anyone in the government
Im high
So high
Im high
Goodbye
Theres no place like home
Especially when you dont know who makes the roads
Youve got to go home
When you dont know who makes the roads |
Get outta here |
I wrote a letter to myself
And now Im opening it |
Im sexy
Im incredibly sexy
Im incredibly sexy
So im gonna sing a song about
The things i believe in
Did you know that all of the trouble
And all the problems
And all the issues and confusion in the world
Will all be solved?
Did you know that all of your
Hopes and dreams and wishes
And dirty fantasies
Are real
And they will all come true?
Just think like i do
Im telling you how to think like i do
Cause i know the truth
Its gonna be good
Its gonna be good, its gonna be okay
Its real and its all gonna be really good |
The text the origin of chickens are shown, accompanied by a cartoon chicken above the text.
Explains the origin of chickens: chickens actually comes from eggs, which come from other chickens, which come from eggs, which come from chickens, which come from eggs, which come from chickens, which come from eggs, which come from chickens, which comes from- The words chickens’ and eggs are paired with their respective cartoon representations.
The tone of the video changes, with the explanation continued in psychedelic-coloured text: The Lord God, His Almighty Majesty and Curator of the Heavens and All That Is Right and Good On Our Wonderful Home Dwelling and Sacred Abode, the Planet Which We Live On Which Has Begat Life As Well As All Sorts of other Wonderful Things Which are Good and Essential. The ’God looking down on us meme is shown in the background. |
Hey
Lets list all the car companies in the world
Lets build a fortress
There is a Frisbee for every two trees created
There is a new tree for every me
Go build a magnet
Go build a magnet
Go build a magnet
Go! |
Shows the video title bill wurtz plans for the future.
BILL WURTZ: I should go back to space.
15 minutes later is shown as a jingle plays.
Filming Bill Wurtzs room, indicating Bill is not here and is probably in space. |
I know, but I cant say |