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Trigger warning! Sexual assault/ harassmentI was raped at a young age, then now years later you my sister, my literal biological sister are accusing me of sexual assault. Fine, you win. I’m a horrible sibling, but not for that reason. I was an awful sibling because I lied and you lost trust in me. I have been disassociating, not staring at your breasts. But fine. You hate me so much? You wish me gone? Fine. Goodbye, you fucking stuck up brat.

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Advice needed Hey fellow redditors🤗 of reddit😫oh wait i forgot emojis are like so un wholesome keanu chungus my bad guys but anyways theres this girl and um she looked at me and um i really um like her and um i think her simply looking at me was um a sign from the gods oh wait i forgot on wholesome reddit we’re all atheists my bad redditors of reddit, so um back on track i think my crush looking at me was her saying that she wants to um fuck so what do you redditors of reddit think about this predicament?

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Today was badI really don’t want to get into it. There have been a few close calls. I’ve held a gun to my head and a rope around my neck but i’ve always failed to follow through. My coworker and I did everything right today. But we still get reamed out by the boss. I don’t know why i’m so angry. I thought I would be able to calm myself like I always do after a rough day at work, But today just keep getting angrier as the day goes on. I’m enraged but i don’t know why. I know I’m not going to kill myself. I know i’m not. I feel like a fraud posting here, like. There are other people that need to vent, I don’t even know if i’m going to hit the post button. Other people that need to be talked down from the ledge. I joke a lot about how I might kill myself. Nobody ever takes me seriously. I make sure of that. I do know that joking about suicide can be a sign that someone needs help. I can’t afford professional help though. I always ask people that joke about suicide if they need to talk. Nobody has ever taken me up on my offer but I do hope that they would come to me if they needed to. My biggest fear is that some day I might kill myself on accident. When I have that gun to my head I may be so enraged that I just pull the trigger and then nothing. I don’t want my parents to find me. I really don’t want to die. I don’t. And I think I have my emotions under enough control to not do anything stupid, I thought at least. I am not going to kill myself. I just need some room to breathe I think I just can’t stop crying

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I hate my health...I'm 20 years old, male, and I've got problems. I grew up in an abusive family, and I'm still living here. I'm about to postpone college so I can move out, but those are little things. My health has been failing for the past several years. I've developed a shit ton of food allergies... I can barely eat anything, and with what little I can, it's impossible to get all the vitamins needed for my body to function correctly... and that leads to even more problems, and it's alot more than you might think at first... The list of things I can eat is literally shorter than the list of things I can't. Even trace amounts of food that I can't have will trigger a response. If someone drinks out of something, then kisses me, I'm screwed for about 2 months. At first, I'll be in pain. The other symptoms are almost like having the flu, and then I'll be extremely tired. Sometimes I'll pass out one day, and wake up two days later. I'll be very tired like this for about a week to a month. The pain will last a day, sometimes more, but it's the more visible effects that get to me the most. The skin on my face will explode into pimples and my entire face will be covered with a red rash. This is the part that lasts for about 2 months... I've been to 4 different allergy doctors, a dietitian, and a dermatologist, and none of them could help me. The longer I avoid the foods, the worse the responses seem to be... and they're almost inevitable. If a dish isn't washed well enough, I'll react to it. If a knife was placed on a counter, I'll react to whatever it's used to cut. Lots of fruits are covered in a corn based wax, which I react to, and even companies that I'm used to buying canned tomatoes or anything as basic as that will switch their ingredients before they switch the label, then there goes 2 months of my life. If I react to something 1 out of every 100 days, then 60% of the time, I'll have to deal with these symptoms. On top of that, I'm also diabetic. It doesn't end there either. If I get sick, it usually lasts about 5x-10x longer for me than for other people because my immune system is focused on tracking down pollen and food particles; so it doesn't invest anywhere near as much resources to fight bacteria and disease as a normal person's would. I'd give more information, but I'm already pretty identifiable as it is. Lately, I've been really losing touch with reality... my problems are so unrealistic, I question them myself sometimes, but they've consistently proven themselves to be real.... I've held a gun to my head 3 times since december, but I've been too pussy to pull the trigger... I heard of a cure that might work, but it's illegal in the U.S. and costs over $3k, and my parents refused to fund it, even though they buy and rent out houses for a living... she rubbed it in my face too.... I'm really not sure my sanity will last long enough to get there myself. I just feel completely fucked and betrayed by my own genetics. I've read plenty of books about my problem, and I've done alot of research determined to cure myself, but again, my sanity won't last me that long... sorry for the wall of txt.

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I just sliced my finger and my mom is denying me band aids She hid the fuckin bandaids and forgot where she put them so I am now slowly bleedin out and she told me to use a fuckin paper towel. Wtf

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I’m never enough.I think I’m gonna try again. I can’t do this anymore. I’m inadequate. In school I was the weird kid no one wanted to fw. I ate lunch in the girls bathroom the majority of 8th grade. In high school I attempted suicide multiple times, one of the attempts landing me in a coma for 3 days. But I’ve been to the psych ward countless times. I’ve been to dbt therapy, cbt, and I’ve tried so hard to get better but I can’t. It ain’t my life because I have a pretty decent life. I live in the US, am a sophomore in college, and despite my families money issues, my parents have parented me to the best of their abilities. It’s just me. I am never enough as I am. I don’t fit in with people, and no one will ever love me enough to marry me. I’m pretty, but my personality sucks so much I don’t see why anyone would ever want me. And even if there was a possibility I’m done with hope. Whenever I have hope, I get hurt in the end because I expected too much. Sorry I just needed to talk to someone since I can’t talk to nobody I know in person about this.

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Canned ham discord Discord for dark humor and talking most of us are 14-16 others are welcome we joke about everything and mostly have fun DM me if interested

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*Wakes up ​ *Processing img w6sznpdhacm61...*

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Hi i'm new to here.Idk how to use.nice to meet you all.

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I feel like my suicide would be perfectly fitting/ poetic justice Is that the right term?? This is what I mean: As far as I know, my school’s never had a suicide. If anyone should kill themselves (not that anyone should), it should be me. It would have the biggest effect if it was me. It would seem reasonable and people would be shocked but wouldn’t be SURPRISED. I was very severely bullied every day for 4 years by 13 people, and about 6 at once. The teachers had never seen bullying so extreme. The ENTIRE YEAR hated me and almost everyone knew it. I was the most hated person in the year, maybe even the school, for NO REASON. Or at least nothing in my control. Bullying is one of the most horrible things of humanity. I have been depressed for about the last 2 years. And I have very very few friends and no social life at all. Having no friends damages your self esteem in every way possible. I never did ANYTHING intentionally wrong to the people who bullied me. I just burst into tears writing this. I didn’t deserve a single SECOND of the hell they gave me EVERY DAY for 4 years 😭😭 If I killed myself, all those kids would think “She really did it” and would say “WE drove her to this” and kids at neighbouring schools would say “You know (my name) who got picked on? She committed suicide” and “A girl from (my school) killed herself!” And “Everyone made fun of one girl for no reason and always made a joke out of her and were so mean to her and there were always so many bystanders but NO ONE EVER STUCK UP FOR HER because they all just wanted to follow the crowd, thinking “Oh it’s (my name) so it’s okay to treat her like SHIT and look down on her and TELL HER to KILL HERSELF and then just go on with their day like it’s nothing” and now she’s dead.” Then my death could at least raise awareness and maybe (definitely) reduce bullying at my school and the pastoral support would double. Maybe that was my purpose after all. Also no one would care if I wasn’t there. I would walk into our house common room and the same boy would announce my entrance to the whole crowd and while everyone silenced would shout “GET OUT LARA. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE.” in such a sincere way. They made it pretty clear I was unwanted there. No one really cares about me. Or maybe they all care, just not enough. The only way people would care about me is if I was dead. Similarly, I’ve been thinking.. what if the only way to not feel bad is to stop feeling anything at all, forever? I don’t want to stall too much so that I’ve left school when I do it because then the school won’t take responsibility and will be able to say it wasn’t because of them. I don’t want the wrong people to be blamed. I don’t know how much longer I can go on. It’s like a candle is burning, and I don’t know how much is left of it (height) but I can tell from the puddle of wax on top it isn’t much. It wouldn’t be a loss if I died and I would actually be doing people a favour.

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I want to kill bullies, not even my bullies, any bully.I want to kill everyone who harassed me throughout life. Realistically, I can't kill them all at once without getting caught in the process. I could settle on killing 20 bullies and then myself. Also, when I attended elementary school, sometimes they'd place me in an in school detention room and each kid was always black except for me (white), I was usually sent there by the teacher who on several occasions purposely bent over to "help me" with my school work and her shirt would be loose and expose her breasts. I am foreign to US and didn't know the English language very well and my family were far from helpful. I felt very helpless and I was unable to tell any adults. I still feel very fucking helpless, and I'm 21.

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Fuck this sub I am leaving this sub, the frontpage is just generic stupid shit, or meta memes.

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It’s never okay to hit a girl But kicking is always a option

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I’m committingToday I learned that no matter what I do I’m bound to fuck everything up. Today I committed to a plan of action that, with any luck, will lead to my death. I’ve bought tickets for a gun show a month away, far away from where I live. Since I’m 18 that’s the only place where I can buy a handgun. The time delay is for me to make preparations and psychologically as well as philosophically justify what I’m about to do to myself, to come to terms with my own death. Finally, I’ve quit school. Besides being too much to handle, this will burn the main bridge tying me to being where I’m at. Regardless of my intentions and how far I’ve come, I’m better off without this miserable existence and the world is better off without me.

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I'm too scared to do it but..I'm too scared to actually kill myself, I'm scared it'll be painful and I just can't, what I'm actually gonna do is I'll completely destroy my life, I'll fuck everything up the worst way i can, i already used to do drugs sporadically but now, since I have really easy access, I'll just go with it and fuck everything up, i have these crackhead friends that have their own place I used to go to do drugs, i literally could move there if I wanted to and just live like that, I'm just done with trying

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Im so fucking worried that i did something wrong to my friends But I don't remember doing anything bad, I mean, i never ask them for weed, or money, or anything like that. I never talk shit about them. I never argue with them. So wtf?! My friends used to always say good morning, they used to hug me, they used to invite me and even beg me to come out with them But suddenly, my closest friend stopped talking to me. The only fucking reason they even acknowledged me is because I offered them alcohol first And now, my other friends stopped talking to me, too. Theres only 5 people left in my entire fucking school, who I'm not even that close with, (of like 30 people) who acknowledge I exist. Even some of the teachers act like I don't exist Some of them legit just stare through me. I can't fucking handle this again I'm so fucking confused at what's going on and idk what to do, I'm gonna ask my old closest friend if I did anything wrong tomorrow, but what's next? Idfk but I just wanna cry and maybe die idfk. I really hate this

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I have a small penis, I've never had a gf nor do I think I ever will. Don't know if life is worth living.I'm 26 years old and other than the woman front my life is going great. I'm graduating med school next year. However, I have a pretty small penis, and I feel like this is the main reason that at 26 (almost 27) that I've never been in a relationship. It's not that I'm not confident- I've read books on how to have the best techneaque, I perform oral on command. Please don't try to pass me that bullshit that size doesn't matter. I've twice had women, after seing my size, decide they aren't in the mood and go home, and never talk to me again. I've heard pleanty of lady friends talk about various guys with large ones and how great they are. "Size doesn't matter" is a lie made up by women to try to seem less shallow than men, when in reality they are just as bad. I think we have convinced ourselves that everyone who no longer wants to live is mentaly ill, but I don't buy that. If I knew for sure that I would go my whole life w/o a relationship, I would not want to live, and I don't think that makes me mentally ill.

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For everyone who came here looking for help.This is something I stumbled upon writing one of those days, yes we all know, one of THOSE days. Its a hard outlook on life, but hell once I wrote it down I can tell you I felt a lot better. I post this in hopes to help you. It's very lenghty and probably many grammatical errors, but I the tears were in my eyes and the voices in my head were distracting me, so I did my best. And Best of luck to you all. I believe if you can read this and face it as the truth, you can make it through this, just as I did. Because you start seeing things as no overall point. If I were to try to put it in words you could understand it would be you start taking "risks" and with risks comes "reward". You won't even notice it at first. But it will be there. I would have to say, to one guy, just one guy, there is no point. No point. None. I simply don't see how you can disagree, you cannot give me a valid reason to why there is with actual evidence or supporting details, you can't. I dare you to try, I dare you to tempt fate. It's simply put at that, there is no point. It's all just there, you can't put it together, you can't write it out, because if you were to try, there would be no point. Do you get where I'm headed? Of course you don't. Because I'm headed no where, because there is no point. It has been shown over and over again in every way possible, people are just to blind to see, that they put words to it to try and make sense. But yet, there is none. No sense. There is nothing this world wouldn't give, to fill it with sense. To give it a point. There is no knowledge, there is none. How can you possibly say you know, when you yourself haven't known before. Can you just simply believe it, because they tell you so? There is no knowing, there is no point. I'll try and put it into terms that we have all agreed upon, and believe it to be real. It's trial and error, guess and check, nothing else. There is no point. So how can we all decide, what to put behind this? When you yourselves, don't know.Is there such a thing as success, or has it been around so long that what used to be just faith and hope, turned into our reality. How do you know?..... How do you know? Take it to yourself to think. Has the hope and thought of success become something, the one thing, that we all humans agree upon? Letters and numbers. It's all just how we put together the everything, the everything of nothing. There is no point. We simply must agree that there is no such idea. How many times must it be shown to us, that there is no point. There is a such thing as nothing, and it is everything that we see. Just what we have agreed upon makes it something. Why can't we allow the thought of being "unhappy"? What makes it unhappy, and to whom? Does that really justify what can make one happy or not? Have we just been so worn out with the fight of being "unhappy" that we seek happiness? But can it really be sought? How can you deny something to not be right, when it never leaves you? It never leaves you, it will always appear, and come upon us. So can we embrace it, can't we all just let it happen? Why do we continue to escape it, when all it does is return, harsher, as if it were angry at us? We have left it for too long. I have left it for too long. I will not change, I will not cheer, I will not forget that it is here. It's inside us. The only thing you have to do is look deep enough. When faced with the chance to escape it, I will, just as we all would, but I will not forget. I will allow it to come back upon me. I will surrender to it. Maybe, just maybe, it won't forgive me. Even now I am still holding to grips with myself and how I will always be "unhappy" I probably wont call it this for very much longer, because its not really being "unhappy" its more of human nature. We have grown out of ourselves, we have become distant with our nature, our true meaning and being, the true meaning and being that there is no true meaning to it. We are just here, and we cant accept it now. Its been too long, why oh why cant the people just see? We aren't here for a reason, we just are, it happened, so what. Live with it, there is no need to find this out, so there is no need to find anything else. Do what you are good at and that should be suffice to what makes you "happy". It's more of a fit in your place that you were put sort of thing. We are toys to a creation that is and forever will be beyond our understanding. We will never know, so we can just stop trying and ignore the subject. I will go as far to say as I am no longer an Atheist. However I will not bring my understanding of something of which I can not understand into my own reality that I have thus created so far. This is something that I am going to leave alone and go on with my day, because does it really matter? Does it? Back to being a toy. We are all one, we have no right to do otherwise, we need to find what we can do, and do it. No questions. Don't think about what you do. Just do it. If you are needed elsewhere something will call for it. But what you are doing is what you must. Because that is what we have given the title, "happiness". What we are made to do, individually. But its simply beyond that, the concept is made up. Its just to keep us in our places, but we have made it be for so long, well that happiness has become something, and with anything that is something, there is always the opposite. We made an opposite to nothing, something that isnt there. So how can we break from this cycle? Well just remember. No feelings. Do what you are meant to do. We can think with our own brains to figure out what that is. And follow it, but once feelings get involved, you need to drop it. and think again. It's something that must be done. In order to break the cycle. Of which we have named, "Depression and happiness".

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I need to talk to someone right now.I drove for 3 hours with no destination in mind because I was trying to clear my mind from suicidal thoughts. Prior that I sobbed for an hour in front of a church and I feel like I couldn't take it anymore. I even thought of crashing the car intentionally. I am not at my best state at the moment and everyone I know is busy.

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My class starts in like 3 minutes and uggggghhhh it’s boring. I just wanna go home and work on my assignments and study because I need to do it. Anyways have a wonderful day you amazing people

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sick of pretending to be ok but I have toIt’s so demotivating having to pretend to not being super fucking sad all the time. The few times I did vent my issues all the advice I got was “fake it until you make it.” It also led to some family arguments and an ADHD diagnoses. So one ADHD diagnoses later I’m on pills which make me concentrate more but also make me feel worse. I need to keep saying I’m okay so the family doesn’t get into more arguments. The only thing my brain is telling me currently is “you’ll sort it out when you move out.” But I can’t wait that long. I’d rather die than live like this. This is gonna sound really fucking weird but sometimes I just wish I were a fox, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this shit. I just fucking hate who I am and I want this to all end. I’m so fucking disgusting and I don’t know how anyone tolerated a personality as fucked up as mine. I’m so annoying it’s impossible to ignore even my friends have to tell me to shut up every once and a while. I fucking hate my body I don’t want to thinkanymore.

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Op: Where are you from Me: United States Op: no no, where are you actually from? Me: I was born in the us I’m from the us Op: but you don’t look American Me: ........ Op: .......... Bro I have people like this

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I just finished metal gear solid 3 snake eater what the fuck is life

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I'm going to kill myself by the end of this monthI'm a 19 f. I've contemplating the idea of killing myself before whenever i was depressed on my pre-teen years, anyway i never did it 'cause deep inside me i knew it was my depression doing the thinking, not my brain. Now, years later, is the first time im actually thinking about it without being depressed. I've, for the first time, analyzed everything with a critical mind. Life just makes no fucking sense. The way the world works, is the most stupid system that anyone could come up with, im here now all down and fucking desperate because i can't get a job. Im all suffocated by the senseless concept that money is. I've been trying to get a job since i finished school 3 years ago but here none hires you if you have no experience, you are ugly or they just don't fucking know you. People here only hire friends of friends. I can't push myself here 'cause. Here's the thing. I can't talk. This has been my biggest problem my whole miserable life since i remember. I don't know how to talk to people . I can't express myself, i can't even go to the grocery store alone to buy shit. i've had social anxiety in the past, i've been homeschooled the last 2 years of high school. All my problems are originated by my lacking social skills. I've always blamed this on my family for rising me like shit making me grow up to be the selfish incapable of talking piece of shit that i'm now. I always hated everyone for not liking me. I only have one friend, and she and my two siblings are the only people i talk to. I mean don't even "talk" to them, i just answer whatever shit they tell me. BUT FINALLY i realized that i have none but myself to blame for this shitty life im living. I fucking hate myself. I can't believe I lived so long without realising it.I fucking hate myself for isolate me and push everyone away from me. I could have had so many friends but i pushed them away, i never did anything nice for anyone. I can't fucking think on one stupid small good thing i ever did for anyone. I never hugged anyone honestly. I've never been to a party. I've never told anyone that i liked them, I was never told neither. I've never kissed anyone. There are so many things i never did 'cause i decided that the rest of the world wasn't worth it. And now i see this things i always blamed on my upbringing and oh jesus im the only one to blame, im so miserable. i hate myself so much for it. The worst part is that now i want to change that but i can't cause i was never given the tools to do so. I was always alone. I don't know how to reach out for anyone. I honestly don't know what im supposed to do. My sister was the only pilar in my life but yesterday she decided to stop helping me 'cause i never did anything with the help she gave me. She is fucking right, i hate seeing her waste her life trying to help a lost cause like me. I live with my brother and he tries to talk to me but all i do is scream at him and tell him to leave me alone. I have problems, i'd went to the therapist before, i've had like four different doctors over the past years, but they never helped me 'cause i never told them anything, they only asked me stuff and i answered them or i even let my mother answer the questions for me. Now i have no money to go to a shrink. I have no job, my brother doens't have a job and i just can't do anything to get one. I have no parents nor family besides my siblings. My sister who was the only support i had, decided to stop helping me and now Im here all alone in the dark in my room wondering how a piece of living shit like myself could get to the end of the month. Im fucking desperate. I have no tools to face what is comming. I don't even want to die. There are so many things i want to do but i cant because of how i am. I don't want to die, i just don't want to be myself anymore I fucking hate the person i've become. i can't "un-become" me. i don't know how, i don't even think that that's possible. i hate living in my skin. I just wanted someone to know this. How i am feeling. To hear my feelings before i fade. I won't send or tell this to any of the 3 people i have left. I know they can't help me. The only person that can help me right now is me. but im not able to. i gave myself an ultimatum of 10 days left to figure it out. if i don't find a solution on this lapse i'm going to kill myself. p.s. : ironically i've always wanted to be a screenwriter but I desisted the idea because my writing sucks.. so i'm sorry for whoever tried to understand what i just wrote here. -anyways thanks for listening.

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I tried to kill a cockroach with axe body spray. Now his name is Dylan and wont stop talking about football.

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I have been very fortunate in my life. There have been times where I have been sad or frustrated, and there have been people luckier than me. But now in my current situation, I feel an existential sadness. I’m leaving the house I was born and raised in. I can look anywhere in my house and see a memory. A past me. I’m leaving behind my best friend, a dude who I have known since... forever. I literally can’t remember a time where I haven’t known him. I’m leaving behind an array of elementary school friends who’ve been so kind to me over the years. I’m giving this all up for a new chance at a new place. It makes me sad that I will never see a majority of these people again.

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I will end things in the next 24-48 hoursI'm done with being a shy guy that everyone feels sorry for but no one wants to spend time with. I will write a suicide note and say goodbye to only people who I know and this world. Then I will end my life. There is too much pain, and it never stops no matter what I do

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Sick of constantly wanting to dieI mean, like most people on this forum, I want to die. Constantly. Even when I am happy I want to die. I am just sick of always feeling tired and not feeling like my life is mine. I work three jobs and am taking part in graduate school. I have a best friend, whom I love very very much, but constantly feel like I have to emotionally babysit. I have a boyfriend whom I love but honestly can't feel comfortable with; my fear of him abandoning me makes it hard for me to relax and enjoy our relationship. I have lost two best friends whom I can't seem to get over or forget. My father, the only supportive parent in my life, has cancer. My mother is a complete c*nt and manages to make me feel guilty for existing despite me knowing full well our damaged relationship isn't my fault. I fear all of my friends really hate me and are putting up with me. I feel like school just isn't worth it. I'm so busy I don't have time to go see a doctor, or therapist, or go to the gym (exercise makes people feel better sometimes). Despite having 3 jobs I have money problems. Almost zero me time. I want to die. But I'm scared of dying painfully. I want to die peacefully. I hate waking up. I don't want to feel this way.

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Im a fucking failureMy depression just hit me like a truck about a hour ago. I started a new job today my first job actually. I was working for long hours outside serving food and icecream and other desserts and when I get home I find out I took counterfeit money and need to learn how to detect better. Im just devasted because I need to make something work and earn money. I was scammed for over 2000 dollars a few weeks ago so I have been getting really fucked by life. Its over

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All my life I've been lonelyNo real friends. Never had sex or had a girlfriend, never kissed, never smoked or drink. I'll end up being 50 years old not accomplishing shit and will look back when I was 19 and wished I did what other normal people could do. Party on fridays, sit on the beach after midnight kissing girls. I can only dream. Fucking fucked off about how other people are luckier then I am. Cunts. Fuck them all. I've had it, I have no groups, no friends to turn to, cause they're all fake assholes. Never ever ever ever ever chat to me on facebook, nothing, no likes, no friends no nothing. Must as well end it now.

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Just exhausted of continually feeling this way, and it's not bound to get any better.The past 6 months has been an incredibly tumultuous time for me. In the time that's passed, I've experienced the following: * Experienced the end of my first adult love, leaving me and my self esteem in shambles to the point where I believe that no one would be insane enough to love someone like me, and even if they did they'd just find flaws to nitpick at and leave me for anyway * Lost the majority of my friends after this, and the ones that remained are too far away and are too busy living their own lives to a point where I've been reluctant to reach out to them. * Almost didn't graduate from college but barely got by, and found myself neck-deep in student loan debt. * Moved back home where my entire family experience is my father being overseas for a job in order to make ends meet, while my mother is constantly yelling at me for one reason or another. This has gotten to the point where I don't even want to leave my room to avoid her fanatic hounding. * Got a part time job which basically puts my degree to no use. Also generally work graveyard hours, but not always so more often than not I barely get any sleep at all. * A constantly stiff neck and upper back area caused by stress that has lead to very painful, frequent headaches * Basically having to go to graduate school in order to pursue a profession with my college major, but doing so would require me to accumulate even more student loan debt * Experiencing these same things over and over again and having a general feeling of hopelessness throughout my day, to a point where I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm just so *tired* and I can't see this getting any better. The idea of suicide has been crossing my mind ever since February in which the start of this snowballing all happened, but as time passed I started leaning more towards it, quietly doing my research while putting on a fake smile every time I had to leave the house and just shutting myself in my room again as soon as I got home. The extent to which I want to avoid my family is so great that I skip meals just so I won't have to see them, because it always ends the same way - with my mother nagging at me and exaggerating the circumstances. I don't have individuals I deem close enough to talk to about my worries either, as my group of closest high school friends is now all over he country busy with their own careers while I feel like I've regressed by moving back home after university and getting a part time job that requires no degree just to start paying my seemingly endless amount of loans back. I did want to further my education, but the prospect of having to borrow even more money is greatly deterring, along with my university GPA being severely lackluster because of the way I barely stumbled over the finish line to graduate this spring. I think I'm at my breaking point. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to tolerate this anymore. I know I'm on the younger end of the spectrum and there's the unknown that's waiting for me or whatever, but honestly I just feel like these burdens are just going to keep following me around no matter what path of life I choose to take, and its exhausting and demotivating having to deal with all this at once. I hate to think of using it as an easy way out, but at this point I really just don't want to deal with the pain, depression, and stress that I have to cycle through every moment of my day.

suicide

Are you fucking shitting me? So apparently im not supposed to eat the silica gel packets

non-suicide

Waiting for the dayI’m a worthless coward i should have committed suicide by now If i had the balls.... Birthday is during July second half and I feel like I should end it all before it

suicide

Why are people so quick to jump on the pro-life wagon every time someone mentions suicide?First response anytime suicide is mentioned is "call a crisis line" or "get help" or etc. What really is so bad about taking one's life, aside from potentially hurting family/friends (if you even have any)? Personally, suicidal thoughts are the only thing that get me through the week. I think to myself that I'll do it Saturday night and I just bide my time till then. It makes me feel relieved inside to think about not having to deal with anything anymore. Only thing stopping is me is being scared of actually doing it. But as each weekend goes by, I get closer to overcoming the fear. So why can't other people, especially strangers, give their blessing when someone expresses their wish to die rather than try and talk them out of it right away?

suicide

Is it just me or is it EXTREMELY ANNOYING when someone defines their best friends by who they have on their best fiends list on snap? I had gone to a friends house yesterday just to game and stuff yk, just a causal game hangout and we got to the topic of friends and who our best friends were. He then proceeded to list all his friends on his best friends list on snap.

non-suicide

height literally doesn’t even matter i’m literally 5’7 and i have so many women and i have so many sex very often ❤️

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Am I fairly strong for my age? I can pick up a 125lb person with 1 arm and carry them around for a few minutes, and can pick up (but not quite carry around) a 270lb person

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Some people spank their children I’ll just fart in their faces... no evidence of abuse!

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Around 10 years back, I was suicidal. I committed suicide about 10 times, my eyes, liver and immune system have suffered. Have been to countless therapists. I am over all that now and leading a normal life. If you feel, you need reason to hang on or any such advice! Ask on..

suicide

The police brutality that happens in India should also get international media coverage. [one of the many cases](https://www.opindia.com/2020/10/balwinder-singh-whose-turban-was-removed-sent-to-8-days-of-remand/) # [About the Kargil war that the dude faught in](https://www.google.com/search?q=1999+kargil+war&oq=199&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j69i57j0l3.1389j0j0&client=ms-android-att-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8) # [About the military division he is in](https://www.google.com/search?q=black+cat+commando&oq=black+&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j69i57j69i177j69i58j69i60.1395j0j9&client=ms-android-att-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8) # This disrespect has a chance of stopping only when people across the globe know about it. This is just a case of disrespect, there are many cases about torturing people to death and beating them up really really badly

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I’m So Tired Of TryingI’m 39 F. All my life I’ve been different and unattractive. Growing up I was told that eventually I’ll be normal and then people won’t pick on me as much about my looks, but that hasn’t been the case. I refuse to leave my house because I’m tired of people staring at me or making ugly faces when I try to smile at them. I feel like I’m just bothering everyone. By now, unless I miraculously come across a lot of money, my looks aren’t going to change and unfortunately will probably get worse now that I’m aging. It makes me feel like I’d rather be dead then endure another 40 years of misery. I don’t have the courage to hurt myself, but I wish all of the time that I’d not wake up in the morning.

suicide

Just got shouted and had the door taken of my bedroom for and I wish I was joking not taking a shit quickly enough God my family’s fucking pathetic

non-suicide

I feel sick I’m so hungry I can’t eat I need help but I don’t wanna ask for it and I have counselling tonight for the first time and I’m nervous, but hey at least Google’s working again

non-suicide

when you have to accept that your parents will never accept youmy mother is probably one of the most invalidating human beings ive ever met. when i first asked her to see a therapist she told me to work out because that would make me stop feeling so sad. when she first found out about my cuts she yelled at me. when i attempted she got angry and told me i was selfish. i will never understand the people who say they stay for their moms. if anything, she would be the reason why i couldn’t do it anymore. shes the catalyst for so many of my problems and everytime i even mention my depression or ask her to set an appointment with my psychiatrist she asks “do you really need it?” and “why are you sad? youre happy when youre around us. ” she doesnt even notice when i wear hoodies in the summer to hide cuts, when i isolate myself all day, when i cant even eat. she’ll ask me “why dont you ever leave the house?” and then get mad at me if i do. ive accepted that she will never truly care about me. she will never validate me. she will never be there when i need her to be. im gonna go listen to mitski.

suicide

Depression is freaking monster!My brain just keeps telling me the following I am worthless I am stupid I am a failure I am ugly You should kill yourself! Oh wait you are too chicken to do it! Cluck, cluck!

suicide

good night once again i'm terribly miserable bye bye

non-suicide

looking for a pen pal any gender [16-18] hello there! I'm Ilaria, an Italian 16 year old girl looking for a pen pal! I think that it's a good idea to make friendship through letters and I'd really love to send and receive one! please dm me so that we can talk and be friends!

non-suicide

anywhere in the world > brazil if you’re in brazil n see a bike coming at ya you might as well just give up

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I know what is after life and I want itI had an NDE in 2009 after an ATV accident and I remember the afterlife. It was so beautiful. No pain, complete and utter peace(for lack of a better term) My Life is similar to a vacation where you’re staying at an acquaintance’s house and they tell you “make yourself at home.” But you’re still a bit uneasy, and you still tip toe around because you know you can’t get too comfortable, and no matter how many accommodations they can provide, you know that It. Is. Not. Your. Home. It never will be. I will be going back home this Friday the 22nd. I already have a place, time,and plan. Thank you all for your encouraging words and support.

suicide

The only reason I have not killed myself is because I don't want to be selfish.. but I really want to do it.For the past 4-5 years, I've wanted to kill myself, but I don't want to hurt the lives of others. I know that if I killed myself, I have friends and family that would be very upset and would wonder if there was anything they could have done to stop it. So, I guess it's good that I recognize that I have made some impact on others, but that's not the issue here. I just don't want to live. I don't like life. I know that if I were more "optimistic," I could maybe have a better life. but, I've tried being optimistic and that doesn't work out, either, because I always end up disappointed. I've gotten to the point where I'm just faking life. I do what I need to do to fit in. I know it's been five years (ish) since I've felt this way, but I'm wondering if there will ever be a point that I just say "screw it" and do it. I also attempted, once, about 5 years ago (when I first started having these thoughts) and one of my close friends (no longer close) helped me out and stopped me from completing my already started actions. So yeah, I realize that other people would be disappointed. But I want to do things for myself. Well, I guess by that, I mean that I want to do this one thing for myself.. I hope that was coherent. Your thoughts/reactions would be appreciated..

suicide

Life is funny.You'll go through life. You'll find happiness and disappointment. You decided some things were better left alone and some things you should have put more effort into. For all the good you could be trying to do, even those who means the most could still only look at the worst parts of you and think you're nothing. No part of life wanted me and i never wanted any other part of it. Im tired of going through everyday. Day and night no matter what I do or try and push myself towards i feel nothing but emptiness. Like a ghost in this world with nothing left to lose. I wont lie I am severely depressed. I can see how worthless my life had to become for others to move forward so easily. They walk away from you only seeing the worst in you when you had only good intentions that turned out the wrong way. I wanted to do more with my life, to be someone who could still have meaning, but it wouldn't be worth it. Nothing could change could it? Im tired. Everyday i imagine the sweet release from the bullshit that is life. From the bullshit people put each other through. What's the point when it really wouldn't make any difference?

suicide

I hate my life So this week has been very shitty, and Ive had lots of bad weeks. I don’t even know what to do anymore The son of my moms best friend snitched on me for helping him. I hurt my moms relationship with her My parents found out I’m vaping I have nobody to talk to at all I have been banned from going out on my bike, to the the basketball courts, anywhere really without parental advisory. I have no electronics anymore, besides a TV that doesn’t barely work. I feel so fucking alone and honestly if I didn’t have family and friends I’d kill myself right now. I feel like such a fucking failure, hell I am a failure. Everything I do always comes back to kick me in the face. My parents are fucking angry at me and I mean very angry. Even trying to explain that vaping isn’t harmful in moderation, they believe the media’s bullshit on how horrible it is. (Before you go off on me for vaping, I wanted to cope with stress and I wanted to build up a nicotine tolerance so I wouldn’t be tempted to use cigarettes because a bunch of kids in my group smoke.) I just don’t know what to do, help me. The loneliness is killing me.

non-suicide

i'm losing all hope. it's not getting better. quarantine has ruined my life.i didn't have friends to begin with but this period of quarantine is making it worse. at the beginning, i was dating someone who didn't give a fuck about me. and only talked to me when he was horny or no one else was around. i had "friends" but i only mattered to them when they needed something. i cut everyone off. making online friends has been a dead end. people want to pity and infantilize me and it makes me feel worse. i can manage myself just fine. i'm just fucking lonely and i'm tired of doing the same things over and over. i don't have the energy to care about politics rn because i'm too privileged for people in power to even pretend to care about my issues. i feel guilty for even complaining because others have it much worse than i do, so what right do i have to feel as hopeless as i do? i even feel bad for saying i'm tired of hearing about politics constantly. i feel bad for admitting i don't have the energy for it. i'm fucking drained. i'm so tired of it. i keep forcing myself to be productive just so that i don't feel entirely worthless. i sit in my room reading, drawing, studying, writing for hours on end; but when that's all over, what meaning does it hold in the end? i'm losing my grip on things that i shouldn't be. nothing is giving me hope anymore. this situation will only get worse. i keep fighting with myself to stay productive but it means nothing. i'm sick of the same thing day in and day out. this is giving me too much time alone with my mind and now, i'm in the worst mental space i've been in for a long time. i never thought i'd be this close to rock bottom again.

suicide

seventeen! u know what tf going on just switched up the flair

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College Board Discontinues SAT Subject Tests and SAT Essay! \[[https://allaccess.collegeboard.org/update-simplifying-our-work-and-reducing-demands-students?fbclid=IwAR1RI3Agrz6iMV\\\_eSd\\\_x1EO2wBlyo63G1LOLN6PjwZQAw9SkBengMfWx6KE](https://allaccess.collegeboard.org/update-simplifying-our-work-and-reducing-demands-students?fbclid=IwAR1RI3Agrz6iMV\_eSd\_x1EO2wBlyo63G1LOLN6PjwZQAw9SkBengMfWx6KE)\]([https://allaccess.collegeboard.org/update-simplifying-our-work-and-reducing-demands-students?fbclid=IwAR1RI3Agrz6iMV\_eSd\_x1EO2wBlyo63G1LOLN6PjwZQAw9SkBengMfWx6KE](https://allaccess.collegeboard.org/update-simplifying-our-work-and-reducing-demands-students?fbclid=IwAR1RI3Agrz6iMV_eSd_x1EO2wBlyo63G1LOLN6PjwZQAw9SkBengMfWx6KE)) ​ \[[https://www.compassprep.com/sat-changes-announced/?fbclid=IwAR0JwJ5UlaxUAldq5qLeYFnnUB-5VOXzLB4soONDAB2mV6A1wdrs7O2HNes](https://www.compassprep.com/sat-changes-announced/?fbclid=IwAR0JwJ5UlaxUAldq5qLeYFnnUB-5VOXzLB4soONDAB2mV6A1wdrs7O2HNes)\]([https://www.compassprep.com/sat-changes-announced/?fbclid=IwAR0JwJ5UlaxUAldq5qLeYFnnUB-5VOXzLB4soONDAB2mV6A1wdrs7O2HNes](https://www.compassprep.com/sat-changes-announced/?fbclid=IwAR0JwJ5UlaxUAldq5qLeYFnnUB-5VOXzLB4soONDAB2mV6A1wdrs7O2HNes)) ​ \[[https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/01/19/world/sat-test-essay-subject-matter.amp.html](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/01/19/world/sat-test-essay-subject-matter.amp.html)\]([https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/01/19/world/sat-test-essay-subject-matter.amp.html](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2021/01/19/world/sat-test-essay-subject-matter.amp.html)) ​ \[[https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/sat-ending-essay-subject-tests/2021/01/19/ac82cdd8-574a-11eb-a817-e5e7f8a406d6\\\_story.html](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/sat-ending-essay-subject-tests/2021/01/19/ac82cdd8-574a-11eb-a817-e5e7f8a406d6\_story.html)\]([https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/sat-ending-essay-subject-tests/2021/01/19/ac82cdd8-574a-11eb-a817-e5e7f8a406d6\_story.html](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/sat-ending-essay-subject-tests/2021/01/19/ac82cdd8-574a-11eb-a817-e5e7f8a406d6_story.html))

non-suicide

I Survived but...after several tries, i came the closest that i ever did. I OD on a shit load of pills, and was dead by the time i made it to the ER. I was revived and placed in a coma and woke about 5 days later. I am mixed about making it. I find that it is still a battle day to day, sometimes I am happy I made, sometimes not so much. However there is one thing, I feel like i have fundamentally changed. It is really hard to explain but its like a part of me didn't come back. But rather is just sitting there dead. My feelings all seem very superficial, I can laugh, smile, cry, yell, but nothing seems to truly move me. I am hoping that maybe there is someone else out there that has gone through this, or can help. thanks

suicide

I don't know what else to doI don't want to reveal much online, because people frequent Reddit and might know me. I've been on and off of antidepressants for the last couple of months, just being messed around constantly. Every day I get frustrated at myself over my situation, the way I am and how I can't tell anyone. Honestly, i'm sick and tired of everyone telling me it will get better, whether it will or not. The point is, I don't know anything any more, and I can't tell my family because I'm scared of how they would react. I already know that they don't like people like me so I need to keep my life under wraps. They're all the most loving, caring people, and every day I feel so incredibly guilty that someone like me has this kind of family when other, more deserving people don't, and so scared that I will lose everything I've ever known. And, every single day I think about how good it would be to just let go of everything. I already take things sometimes that I shouldn't take in order to forget about life for a few hours - I might zonk out on painkillers for a while, or take a packet of nytol to escape reality. I'm not an addict - I could go without them, but I choose to take them every now and again because I can't deal with the way things are. Cowardly, I know, but that's me in a nutshell. I so desperately want to get better but deep down I know it won't happen so I don't know what options I have left.

suicide

God isn’t dead But I’ll get that bastard someday

non-suicide

Has "you're not alone" ever actually helped anyone? Genuinely?I don't quite get it. How is telling me that I'm not the only suicidal person in the world going to help me not feel suicidal? Why am I supposed to care?

suicide

i feel like this body is not minethis face is not mine these hands are not mine this voice is not mine these eyes are not mine ​ why does it feel like I'm not in my own body

suicide

Flat earthers have a mental illness or something Just like antivaxxers have autism You know that? Because I do.

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Goodnight to... To the girls, gays, and theys. Oh, and the leftists. I love you all. Remember, only racists skip meals (eat your breakfast😡)

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snapchat sucks this isn’t really a Reddit moment. the only snaps I get from snapchat are streaks. is that actually the only thing people on snap do now? like I snap them some interesting stuff and they just have to send me back a big fat S?? are their expectations as high as the stratosphere or something? you literally accomplish nothing with a triple digit snap streak... anyone else using snap in the same boat as me?

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It's All My Fault.*No it isn't. * **Yes it is.** I'm in a strange emotional state right now. I don't know how I should be starting my story. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. But I'll try to make it as clear as possible. My house has never been one to display much affection. Thats not to say we don't love each other, or someone is overtly abusive, but emotions are not shown very often (do I care too much? or maybe I don't care at all and I'm faking it.) As a result, communication is a major issue and it strains relationships often. Another thing to note is that my brother and I are first generation here (parents were refugees from Viet Nam). My father never graduated high school. He began working early and came over to the states as a group sponsored by a church. All his life, he has done manual labor of some sort, and currently works as a mechanic at a self-owned (although beginning to fail) mechanic shop. Despite all this, he will never *ever* pass by an opportunity to help someone, whether it is through money, work, or otherwise. In my eyes, he is practically a saint, despite some minor flaws (gambling, which he has fixed, and a little bit of drinking). This is because no matter what, he will help and expect nothin in return. He sees everyone as being equal and will do anyone a favor with a smile on his face, even though it may end up costing him. Throughout my childhood, he was (and still is) working six days a week, from 7AM to 7PM at the shop, and sometimes even as late as 9PM. He works all day, and he works hard, even though the business is meager, he still does all he can to contribute whatever he can towards our home. Because he worked so much, I could never see him often, and as a child, I always saw him as a kind of distant figure that deserved all my respect, but I never quite knew why. Of course, now that I have grown older (19) I fully understand how much he has sacrificed throughout the years in order to give my brother and I what we wanted and what we needed growing up. I love him more than words can explain for it, and my absolute biggest regret is not spending more time with him and being closer. Don't get me wrong, he's still healthy and alive, but I just wish I could get closer to him, but I dont know how. At all. And it kills me. My mother was one of the "boat people" that fled Viet Nam, leaving her parents when she was only 15. At only a week out to sea, however, her boat was caught up by a Chinese (Hong Kong)? patrol boat, and all the members on board were sent to a detention camp in Hong Kong. Thankfully, because this was towards t he end of the conflict, they were able to negotiate her and the others release and passage to America (due to political asylum or something. I can't recall). When she arrived (living with her aunt/uncle who were already here at the time) her first order of business was to get a job and finish high school. After that, she perservered and went on, despite having limited English skills, to graduating both college and pharmacy school to become a pharmacist. Again, my mom is the type of person to go out of her way to help people, even if it costs her, as evident to the tens of thousands of dollars we constnatly wire back to Viet Nam to aid relatives. (However, she has a quick temper. And I mean quick.) On one hand, I guess you could say I'm closer to my mom than my dad, since she had more education, so I could talk with her with more advanced topics and for some reason I could just chat with her better in general, but on the other, I just felt that there was always a kind of "barrier" between us, as if I had some understood yet unspoken relationship with my dad that I just didn't have with my mom. I know this is getting long, and I doubt anyone will read it thoroughly. I just want to note that at this point, I have mostly calmed down, and my thoughts are getting more lucid. However, I feel like writing this is something that I truly need to write to let it out. Furthermore, the nature of my "issue" is something that has and probably will recur constantly, so, while I am in control of my thoughts, I figure pre is better than post. As you can see from my descriptions, I hold both of my parents in very high regards, to the point where, when I was younger (and to a certain extent, even now), I could see them do no wrong. Growing up, everything I did, I did it to make them happy, to please them, to constnatly seek their approval. And even now, I see nothing wrong with that, especially when I consider that everything I have now, is because they gave up on their dreams or sacrificed their goals in order to provide. And I am truly, eternally grateful. I feel like it is a debt that can only be repaid by living my life through and raising my own children, providing them with the same (albeit unspoken) love and care that my parents have shown me. I have learned so much as a person from each of them, the foremost being the importance of family and love from my father, and the necessity of knowledge, determination and respect from my mother. Again, I cannot fully encompass the gratitude I have towards them and the debt that can never be repaid. However, this is where the problem begins. Even at a young age, if my parents ever fought each other, or got mad at me or my brother (regardless of fault) I would blame myself. I would not tell them I blamed myself, but in my heart, I felt that whatever unhappiness that was visited upon them was my fault. And thus, I always strove to do as they told and avoid upsetting them.This worked fine, until I'd say starting about 5 or 6 years ago, when family issues began cropping up. As I mentioned earlier, my mom was quick to anger and had very low tolerance for mistakes or disrespect. My dad is very quiet and softspoken, and often will take t he blame, in order to diffuse any situation. (For that, respect him immensely. Seriously. His ability to maintain composure was astounding.) When my brother began to reach *that age* where everything and everyone is out to get you, a lot of fights broke out in the family, because my brother thought my mother was too overbearing and my mother disliked how disrespectful and "americanized" my brother was becoming. Needless to say, fights often ended in tears while my father was trying his hardest to calm everyone down, and I sat isolated trying to maintain composure (but of course, blaming myself and trying to find a way to keep the family together. As I said earlier, from my dad, I developed a kind of "do everything I can" mentality towards my family. I refused to become a broken statistic). The fights grew in number, and volume, my brother became more rebellious, my father began getting tired, etc etc. Fast forward to the present. I know this is getting long, and to be honest, everytime I write something, I realize I have more to write, but keep in mind this is nearly two decades of bottled up emotions that no one has heard. Continued in comments due to length.

suicide

my dog keeps staring at me like bro ur not allowed on the couch stop staring and whimpering pls

non-suicide

Not sure I even have the energy to type thisBut here goes. I tried to kill myself last Saturday night. I took 15 pills of codeine and valium with whiskey but evidently it wasn't enough. My girlfriend broke up with me and I thought it was over for good but she came back and talked me through it. It wasn't just the perceived end of the relationship that I attempted suicide over though, that was just the last straw. I've had derealisation-depersonalisation disorder from smoking weed for 14 years and severe OCD for 13. The former manifests as agoraphobia and I have been stuck in a rural shithole trying to get help for it all from a local health trust in special measures for almost as long. Everyone I ever love leaves me. I seem to always piss my girlfriend off just by being myself. She is the only good thing in my life but we can't have a normal fight, it always has to end with a potential breakup and tonight she seemingly doesn't want anything to do with me again. It's my fault but I just don't know how to fix it. All this ha sort of compounded to the point where I just don't want to be me anymore, even if I'm nothing. I'm not good enough for my girlfriend, I am too mentally ill to contribute meaningfully to society and I fucked my one chance at a good deeth last weekend by taking too many but also not enough pills so now I'm just slamming my head against shit and jamming knives that aren't sharp enough into my arm. I don't even know why I'm typing this.

suicide

How do I stop feeling stupid I always feel stupid around people, except my friends. Every time I'm with my dad and he tries talking to me I always answer stupidly like I'm nervous and it's not what I even wanted to say or I do something without thinking, I feel like I'm being judged the whole time. I accidentally make the wrong decision for myself and when I'm asked why I did it I have no idea how to answer because I know I'll look stupid. I feel as if on the outside I come off as this serious and well thought out person but then I open my mouth in public and ruin my whole "image". This feeling makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out but after a while I get over it and stop thinking about what to say. This makes me think that the reason I'm a quiet person is because I know I shouldn't open my mouth otherwise I'll regret it later.

non-suicide

Finding the right hair style is so hard Seriously though I hate my hair I used to have a bowl cut ffs because I thought that it shouldn’t be hair that matters its personality. I got bullied no surprise. So I got my hair shorter because I had a crush and now people say I have a mullet even though I don’t. The thing is though I can’t find a hair cut that suits me I look awful in images.

non-suicide

Hall parties are the best parties Idk I've never been to any of then, but i might soon. Anyways I'm bored until then so if you make me laugh I might give you something special ;)

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Does anyone know of any places to jump in Boston?Or any good ways to successfully die here? I don't have access to a gun and my apartment does not have a strong anchoring point for a rope/belt.

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Here againHere I am again. Another year vowing I'll be dead by Christmas. I had higher hopes. Once again praying that I'll be dead before I muster the courage to off myself. Such a loser.

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What small thing brightness your day? Anything you'd done and felt good about it.

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when our friends talk about you all it does it just tear me down🤧 cause my heart breaks a little, when i hear your name, it all jus sounds like ouuuu

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I just cried! I just cried for the first time in a year. It felt awesome. 4 years ago i was used to cry everyday but now it felt like i forgot how it felt. I almost attempted suicide when i was 13 because i got bullied for 6 years straight.

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Day 2 of keeping a digital journal so I don't go insane I guess you could technically call this a blog? I have no Idea ANYWAYS I was in bed restless and went to bed at like 4:00am unfortunately no dreams tonight but then I woke up at 8:30 turned on my computer for zoom joined my first class then immediately went back to bed. I woke up later and was like 10 minutes late to my 2nd class but I didn't care because the teacher is pretty annoying and always started the class 5 minutes late anyways so I stayed up for a couple of minutes entered a breakout room and took another like 20 minute nap when I woke up it was time to leave and so I spent lunch in bed and on my phone After that I got up did my morning stuff then came back to start my second class once that was over I put my dog outside and responded to a bunch of reddit comments I got and the occasional text I then proceeded to scroll through instagram and have a fucking aneurysm over the among us memes I then proceeded to contemplate my existence Moving on I played some botw instead of doing work during my fourth class and my mom cam home for lunch brought me some food from a new local mexican restaurant it was pretty good I watched some youtube and ended my last class I joined a new discord for an artist that I follow on insta really friendly crowd then played rocket league and now I am currently doing homework even if I stopped to write this I also read the latest issue of the Down To Earth Webtoon and man could I relate poor kade. Anyways im thinking of trying to get people to VC with me since I kinda don't wanna be alone atm I hope your day was a lot better or exciting than mine if you read through today as well have another cookie 🍪 tell me about your day down below

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There was milk in the fridge Its 1am in my country and I was hungry so i wanted to make some cereal. Usually there is no milk in the fridge and i would go to sleep hungry but this time there was milk in the fridge so im happy now.

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I want to just go alreadyTo scared to do anything but I just want to know how long it takes to die and how painful it would be if I were to take two full bottles of two different of painkillers plus all my anti depressants and Ritalin.

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All of you get no bitches Zero

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anybody know of any good suicide hotline #s?I wanted to know if anyone had a good suicide hotline that they've called personally? the last time i called one it seemed to do more harm than good, and I dont know where else to ask. I think the one i called was the generic US one from like the first google search and I don't want to call someone shitty again. Thanks:)

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I literally cannot stop laughing. In my public speaking class, we were given an assignment to write a speech over any topic that we wanted, as long as it was at least 8 minutes long. On the day of the presentation, she called up the first person, and he walked up onto the stage, and I kid you not, this was his opening line: “What makes Shrek such an amazing movie?” THEN HE PRECEDED TO DO AN 11 MINUTE SPEECH ABOUT WHY SHREK WAS SUCH A GREAT MOVIE. I am literally dying. Like you could’ve done your speech over anything and you did it over the financial and cultural success of Shrek. You have my respect.

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i cant i cant i just fucking cant i c ant can t. fuck i ngl ike, can't. cannot. no tcant i can't, mom. i just can't.

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I want to burn every bridge.I want to burn every bridge, every friendship, every relationship, and any other reason someone would care for me. I want to become a vile person that people will rejoice when I take my own life. The current problem is too many people would miss me. So, my idea is if everyone hates me then it will make my passing easier. I realize I will have to go against my moral code of ethics, and have to lie, cheat, and steal. However I am more than willing to do this and beyound if it would mean I could kill myself in piece. I have wanted nothing more in life than to die for 22 years (give or take a month) i am in therapy, see a psychologist, and still have a handful of people that cafe for me. My second goal is now to make people who would give me the world, and make them never want to hear my name again. Being in the mental health system for over 2 decades the only skill I have acquired is to convince peope that I am not going to do it. When in reality I am just not doing it now. With multiple attempts under my belt I have decided the next method to test my luck. I've had 3 close calls, and doctors can't explain why I lived. Except for the Bull shit "it's not your time", "life has a purpose for you" or "you are not alone." I want to be alone forever for eternity. My purpose is to die, as all that are born are cursed with dying I Don't want friends. I Don’t want to be saved. I want the option to did. My body. My choice.

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I domt understand thisIve had a 'good' (by my own standards) last couple of days, had motivation, got shit done etc. Yet rhw tgoughts are still here, i havent really felt down, but still had a bit of that numb feeling, but not as much as usual. Why?

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I’m just ready to go.That’s it. I’ve been contemplating this and that, but at the end of the day I just don’t want to do any of this anymore. I drink 7 days a week to avoid my actual life and it’s time for a stop. My family will be okay.

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I have no idea if my music taste has gotten better or worse over the years Like I used to just listen to like 2000s rock music but now I just listen to a bunch of pretentious stuff

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I'm beyond hope ugly, so why *shouldn't* I end it?I'm revolting enough that every woman I've ever asked out has gotten angry that someone so ugly would bother. Not beautiful women, but women I thought were plain-looking or somewhat ugly too. One girl went out with me out of sheer pity, but she couldn't bear the ugliness after a few days and broke it off. Even my mom reminds me of it every time I call. I'm 33, so she shows my headshot to prospective girls and their moms. She relays their extremely hurtful comments to me, and I am starting to think she knows how devastating it is to hear, and *wants* me to off myself. I realize the shame in being the only one of your friends whose son isn't married and has never had a girlfriend at 33. Financially I'm good, am average height, not fat, dress well, but my face, oh god. Even when I avoid calling home and the awful thoughts start to go away, I'm bombarded with romance in almost every TV show or movie I watch, no matter how male-oriented. I'll be doing fine for weeks and then some love interest on the TV will send my mind into hysterics, never shutting up about dying. I might even just screw up at work, and my mind will just melt into a jumble of never-ending "boil yourself alive you ugly dumb fuck" thoughts. I've tried hobbies, but the ones I've gotten into all involve people, and I can feel the disgust and hate, or sometimes sympathy, people have for me by looking at me - I've dealt with it my whole life, from being punched in the face and pinched as a toddler to being treated extremely coldly by teachers despite being extremely quiet and being top of my class. I even tried religion it's too fucking hard to get into paradise. I'd join my local Freemason Lodge but that involves a lot of speaking and it turns out I'm complete shit at that too. Honestly the only thing stopping me, and it's quite big, is the work that'd go into it. I don't want anyone cleaning up the mess so it'd have to be in the ocean. And I'd have to clean out my apartment and find a place for everything. But lately I've been caring less about that all and a bottle of some illegal sedatives starts to sound pretty nice. Surely there's some reason ugly people like me find to stay alive? How do they keep their mind off their ugliness? Any tips? Good hobbies where I can avoid the anxiety?

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Hey, promoting again, so rate it! https://youtu.be/v1JmVIqwf08 All is welcome and humor is funny!

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My oneitis was constantly trying to run away from me on our date "I gotta go home, gotta wake up early for work" it was pretty obvious how it was going to end. She was uncomfortable the whole time. But you know, she just felt obliged to go out with me because i had told her to go out again at the end of the previous date. Thats just how life is if you are sub chad. They wont just see you as a man, more like as an annoyance.

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I just lost the game.... And I'm taking you all down with me

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My parents berated me for an hour because I accidentally fell asleep for a few hours after schoolAll I can think about is killing myself and this is just the nail in my piece of shit coffin I've never been told how much of an inconvenience I am I'm useless I don't know shit Im a fuck up and just an issue and inconvenience to my entire family I'm going to overdose on my trazadone prescription They are 50 mg pills and I have a pretty decent amount. I also have alcohol which is very deadly with high doses Goodbye Fuck you

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What happened to spoiler flair What happened

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Wanna vibe? I gotchu🤠 sad, calming, vibe like Headsick- USERx, Matt Maeson, & rozwell fire for you- cannons runaway- auora ordeal- parra for curva what you do to me- 53 thieves electric feel- Lonleytwin Lo vas a olvida- Billie eilish and rosalía thinking of you- nord tide- Hebert green when you’re in ur feels i miss you- blink-182 you broke me first- Tate mcrae i dont wanna live forever- Taylor swift & zayn pumpkin man- mage tears asleep among endives- ichiko aoba bubblegum- clario fun, happy, etc levitating- dua lipa video killed the radio star- the buggles bang!- ajr don’t start now- dua lipa material girl- Madonna 7 rings- Ariana grande cyber sex- Doja cat scream drive faster- Laural

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I just need someone to talk toI'm isolated and alone as usual. It's becoming almost too much to bear. I just want to talk to someone who will listen. I'm begging. Please.

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Need advise to deal with some piece of shit students from my class. First of all, we still do online school so no it wasn't physical bullying or anything like that. It was during an online class when I decided to raise my hand and read a paragraph. Keep in mind we can't enable cameras. Afterwards as i started reading it for whatever reason my voice got a little deep( this might sound stupid af) and it sounded like I started yawing for a second (it wasn't yawing). After that I cough a bit and said excuse me and continued reading it. Around the end I hear a message notification and after I ended the paragraph and I muted my mic I opened my phone and saw the message. It was a gif( this gif: [https://imgur.com/a/Uk5O4RF](https://imgur.com/a/Uk5O4RF)) and as you can probably see it is someone getting slap through his phone. I ignored it but afterwards someone reacted to it with an emote that is yawing. After that i asked my self, DID THEY REALLY THOUGHT I WAS YAWING. You may think this a stupid reason to make a post. But the person who reacted to it is one person i trusted. Also the guy who posted the gif made fun of me before, I'm really tired of it. He is going to the gym so i can talk back or anything or else he is gonna beat me up and everyone will support him because he is the "popular" guy. Shit like this hurts my feelings and I am a very sensitive person. I have all this rage inside of me when stuff like this happens but I can't talk back I don't have the confidence. I am the quiet kid you may say ( No I'm not a school shooter, I hate that meme) and if I talk back who will support me?. You may say talk to a teacher...NO. Maybe I am overexaggerating but as I said this not the first time it happened to me. Not only from that person but some others to(but he is the main reason I'm tired of this shit). School never made me excited for this reason. It makes me fucking depressed. Any advise will help, please.

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Anyone needs their homework done hit me up lol ✨ message me and i’ll let u know details but don’t bother if u think i’m doing it for free

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I was looking through my old post and found some interesting(weird) things 🤔 [Something really cursed](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/he9t44/cursed_poem/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) [A list of deleted people](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/hbrafy/the_list_its_done/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) [My first post here :)](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/gskoz7/we_should_change_the_letter_v_in_avocado/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

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I honestly hate everything.....How do you not end everything? Nothing has meaning. Nothing even has a purpose. I don't care about anyone. My parents mean nothing, my brothers and my puppy they mean everything but they equal nothing. I have friends and I wish I could be as happy as I am around them all the time. If that makes sense. I honestly have no goals, well maybe I do. But I fucking hate everything, fuck. FUCK. FUCK. Someone talk to me and convince me that life is worth living.

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It's my birthday in 2 daysMakes sense to end it on the day where it all started. I will be 21 and literally didn't do shit in my life. These past 4 years have been a nightmare for the most part. I'm a dissapointment to my family, myself and my non existing friends. Hopefully I won't pussy out at the last moment like I did 7 months ago.

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I never thought this would work But I did some stretches for a few months and my dick grew .3 of an inch, and .2 girth. This shit is wack

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Feeling like there’s no possible way outWhat do you do when you’re 17, stuck living with people who are toxic.. you know nobody you can go to.. and have no one to talk to. You feel emotionally alone, and like no one cares about you and that there’s no possible way out. Depression prevents you from taking action to work on leaving.. you just sit around.. stuck

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