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3rd Rock from the Sun

Hotel Dick

[Dick wants to tell Mary that he's an alien, but the others forbid it] Sally:: Well fine, but let it be on your own head!

Tommy:

Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!

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Hotel Dick

Tommy:: You're gonna be like some sort of alien Martin Luther King?

Harry:

Exactly. Because I, too, have a dream. And in that dream I'm naked on a ferris wheel.

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Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space

Sally:: The worst part is I'm still a virgin! Mary:: Oh my God, you're a virgin? Sally:: Yes, it's horrible! Mary:: No, it's perfectly all right for you to save yourself for the right man. Sally:: Like you did for Dick?

Mary:

[a shocked look on her face, after a long pause] Yes.

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Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space

[Mary consoling Sally after her break up] Mary:: . . . I like you Sally. Sally:: I didn't know you liked me Mary:: Well I do, you're strong, opinionated, intelligent young woman, unpredictable at time, a little scary, but hell that's you. Sally:: That is me. I like me too, but why didn't Mr. Randall? Mary:: Well he's just not the right guy for you, but you'll find someone, I mean just look at you: those legs, that hair... Sally:: Please I've been dragged through the muck enough today! Mary:: Just chalk this up to experience. Sally:: Thanks Dr. Albright, you're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch.

Mary:

Oh I am. But hell, that's me.

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Much Ado About Dick

Tommy:: Harry, I need a ride. Harry:: Nope. Tommy:: You know, I outrank you.

Harry:

In that case... no, sir!

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Much Ado About Dick

[Harry is watching "Looney Tunes" and Tommy wants a ride from him] Tommy:: I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.

Harry:

Okay, you're on. I've seen this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.

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Fourth and Dick

Dick:: Ah, yes, the "big game." God forbid your intellectual development should get in the way of the "big game." The fate of humanity rests on the outcome of the "big game."

Bug:

Is he being sarcastic?

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My Mother The Alien

[Mrs. Dubcek wants the aliens to babysit her grandson] Mrs. Dubcek:: He's had his nap and he's just been changed.

Sally:

What was he before?

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My Mother The Alien

Mrs. Dubcek:: He's got teeth coming in.

Harry:

Well, don't worry; we'll sign for them.

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Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick

Dick:: [explaining Thanksgiving] It's a national holiday. Tommy:: What, like Big Giant Head Day?

Dick:

Similar...except that no one gets thrown into the sun.

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Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick

[Tommy picks up two pool balls, holds them in the air and then drops them so they land back on the table]

Tommy:

Excuse me, this game's not three-dimensional, is it?

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Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick

Vicki: (after having sex with Harry on the kitchen table)...I've never felt this way before.

Harry

...I've never felt this sticky before.

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Dick Jokes

Tommy:: Okay, could you give me an example of what's funny? August:: I thought the movie Emma was very funny. Tommy:: What was so funny about it? August:: It was full of irony. Tommy:: Okay, so irony's funny? August:: Yeah, because you say one thing while the opposite is actually true.

Tommy:

Oh, like when you said Emma was going to be a really great movie when it actually sucked out loud?

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Proud Dick

Harry:: Thank you for seeing me, Father. I didn't know where else to turn.

Priest:

Well, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

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Proud Dick

Dick:: Welcome to Rusty's. How may I serve you? Customer:: How do you make your burgers? Dick:: Excellent question. First, a clamp comes down onto the cow's head, forcing it onto a conveyor belt, where a prod is inserted into the cow's rectum, electrocuting it. Customer:: Gimme two. Dick:: Thank you, and remember: at Rusty's, E-coli is not on the menu.

Doug:

Stop saying that!

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Romeo & Juliet & Dick

Officer Don:: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.

Tommy:

Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?

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Romeo & Juliet & Dick

Dick:: You were good: you had delivery, presence, timing, you just didn't have that indefinable something extra. Tommy:: I was just trying to score some points with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?

Dick:

Romeo and Juliet is a Shakespearian tragedy, it has nothing to do with a horny teenager and his girlfriend!

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Guilty as Dick

Mary:: Have a little compassion, Sally. We're healthy; we have to help him.

Sally:

I say he's lame. Shoot him.

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Guilty as Dick

[Tommy is selling chocolate door-to-door and he encounters a priest at one door] Tommy:: Hi, Father, I'm selling chocolate so the high-school band can go to Washington... and learn about Christianity...so they can become priests. [The priest closes the door in Tommy's face]

Tommy:

Fine then; they'll stay here in Rutherford and worship Satan!

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A Dick on One Knee

Michael:: You see, I would like to stay very much, but your government isn't so nice.

Sally:

Except for Abraham Lincoln, right?

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Same Old Song and Dick

Sally:: You could never handle my job. Harry:: I could do it with my eyes closed!

Tommy:

You do everything with your eyes closed.

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I Brake for Dick

Tommy:: [about August] I don't understand her. Sally:: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.

Harry:

Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.

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I Brake for Dick

Sally:: The Official Boy Scouts' Guidebook. Who're the Boy Scouts? Harry:: They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways. Sally:: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.

Harry:

All in good time, Sally... all in good time.

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Dickmalion

Dick:: What's going on? Nina:: Oh, she's having a big affair. Dick:: What? You tramp! Mary:: Dick, it's a catered affair.

Dick:

You're cheating on me and your diet?

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Will Work For Dick

Dick:: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before. Harry:: Nope. Dick:: Well, you've stapled before... Harry:: I have not. Dick:: Surely you've used a paperclip. Harry:: Oh! You mean those cotton things you put in your ears? Dick:: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up? Harry:: Two!

Dick:

You're hired.

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Will Work For Dick

Dick:: Harry, did I get any phone calls? Harry:: Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly. Dick:: And... who called?

Harry:

Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.

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Will Work For Dick

Mary:: Does this mean you've come to your senses and you're going to apologize to Nina?

Dick:

No, I will never come to my senses!

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Fifteen Minutes of Dick

Tommy:: Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford. Harry:: That's my second-favorite show! Dick:: What's your first-favorite?

Harry:

Good Morning, Rutherford.

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Dick and the Single Girl

Dick:: Can we take more than one? Nina:: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing. Mary:: Don't be so insensitive.

Nina:

[to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!

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A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 1

Sally:: Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?

Officer Don:

If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.

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A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2

[Dick and Sally are doped out on antidepressants] Sally:: I like TV. Dick:: Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]

Sally:

It's even better on.

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Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 1

Dick:: Oh, Mary! I've just had one of those horrible dreams! Mary:: Well what happened? Dick:: We were getting married! Mary:: [sarcastically] Thank you... Dick:: No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up. Mary:: Oh, don't tell me? They objected? Dick:: Well...they had issues.

Mary:

It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."

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Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 1

[in his classroom]

Dick:

Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!

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Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2

Harry: Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright. Dick: You think? Harry: Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us. Dick: [slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us? Harry:: Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail." [Brief pause.] Dick, Sally, Harry: JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]

Dick

You idiots!

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Tricky Dick

Dick:: Women. Tommy:: Women. Officer Don:: Women. Harry:: [high-pitched voice] Women! Dick:: You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.

Harry:

That's probably true.

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Dick-In-Law

Dick:: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents. Sally:: Mary Albrights parents? Tommy:: They're still alive?

Sally:

My God, they must be so old!

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Scaredy Dick

[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween] Mrs. Dubcek:: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.

Harry:

NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.

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Scaredy Dick

[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate seeing mary talking to another partygoer] Yaaaarrrr look who thinks he's scary,well I be not a feared of ye,ya bag of bones,now unhand me former wench, Dick:: Doctor Howard!! (looks around akwardly)......shiver me timbers....... Doctor Howard [dressed as a skeleton]:: Where are your buccaneers?

Dick:

Under my buckin' hat!?

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Moby Dick

[Dick is putting on a corset to become thinner] Sally:: What's that?

Dick:

It's called the 'Shatner.'

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Moby Dick

[Sally is talking to her plant] Sally:: You hungry? Oh, I know you--you wouldn't say anything if you were. [she pours some of her Coke into the pot] Sally:: You're so nice. You're not at all arrogant or demanding like most people I know. Tommy:: You must be bored out of your mind. Sally:: Actually, I'm not.

Tommy:

I was talking to the plant.

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Moby Dick

[Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her] August: (noticing Harry): Harry? Harry: I am not . August: What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?

Harry

What camera?

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Moby Dick

Dick: My pants fit! I won the war! Harry: That's great, Dick! So you lost weight?

Dick

Even better - I bought bigger pants!

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Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

Dick:: Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about something called... 'reasonable doubt.' Juror #1:: What's the point? Dick:: The point is it's reasonable to assume Foster used the money to pay for his daughter's life-threatening operation. Juror #2:: No, it isn't. Juror #3:: He doesn't have a daughter.

Juror #1:

It's not reasonable doubt if you just make things up!

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Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

[Jury selection] Prosecuting lawyer:: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper? Dick:: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it! Prosecuting lawyer:: He's fine with me.

Defense lawyer:

Me, too.

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Seven Deadly Clips

Tommy:: This ice cream is delicious.

Harry:

[looking at the box] Actually, it's sinfully delicious.' I would gladly go to Hell for a pint of this.

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Tom, Dick and Mary

Dick:: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about? Nina:: I don't know, and it's none of my business. Dick:: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it! Nina:: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.

Dick:

I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

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Tom, Dick and Mary

Mary:: Most people dismiss non-literate cultures.

Tommy:

Well, we live in one.

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Jailhouse Dick

Officer Don:: Here, sign this. Eddie:: What is it?

Officer Don:

Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.

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Jailhouse Dick

Dick:: Eddie, you stole my car, but more importantly, you broke my heart. You wanna know what's worse? Eddie:: What?

Dick:

That you stole my car.

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36! 24! 36! Dick!: Part 2

Harry:: (to Tommy and Dick) Boys, we're going to San Francisco! Mascha:: San Diego!

Harry:

San Diego!

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Pickles and Ice Cream

Dick:: Nina, here are the keys to my Rambler. Take it somewhere and have my tires rotated. Nina:: That's not in my job description. Dick:: What is in your job description? Nina:: Typing.

Dick:

Okay, well, type it into your job description and have it done by lunch.

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Pickles and Ice Cream

Mary:: I think it's unfair that you demand Sally do whatever you want as if you were... king of the universe!

Dick:

Oh, please! We look nothing alike.

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Auto Erodicka

Sally:: Don't listen to him, he's just a kid. Salesman:: Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago. [laughs] Say there, sport, you like girls?

Tommy:

Yeah. Sorry.

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Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man

[Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer] Dick:: Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place-- Harry:: W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find... Dick:: Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find- Harry:: W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find... Dick:: Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?

Harry:

Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.

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Stuck with Dick

Dick:: The librarys closed on Saturday?

Mary:

Dick, this is not a good school!

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Stuck with Dick

Nina:: Where's Dr. Albright? Tommy:: Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location. Nina:: Oh my God, what is she thinking? Tommy:: What's she thinking? What is he thinking? Nina:: Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?

Tommy:

Yeah!

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My Daddy's Little Girl

George Albright:: [entering Mary's office] Mary. Mary:: Daddy! George Albright:: Hey there, magpie. Mary:: What a nice surprise. George Albright:: Well, not really... I've left your mother.

Mary:

Again?

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Just Your Average Dick

Sally:: It says here the average American uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year.

Tommy:

Orally?

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Dick and the Other Guy

Mary:: This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!

Dick:

Once again I come in second.

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Dick and the Other Guy

Dick:: Dr. Neesam, I find you to be pompous, judgmental and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend? [pause]

Liam:

We'll see.

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Sally and Don's First Kiss

Mary:: So you're going to let this woman control your life?

Dick:

No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.

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The Tooth Harry

Harry:: [to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you. Dentist:: Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.

Harry:

Until Friday.

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The Tooth Harry

[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.] Nina:: What's this? Harry:: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning. Nina:: You left me twenty bucks? Harry:: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it? Nina:: Going rate?!

Harry:

Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.

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Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

[the Solomons confront Tommy about his cooking skills] Sally:: I can't believe it! You can cook! Harry:: You Tommy:: No, no, I can't cook! I swear! Dick:: Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table) Tommy:: This, uh...is marijuana! Dick:: This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!! Tommy:: No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude... Sally:: Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants. Dick:: I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the williams and Sonoma! Harry:: (picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar! Dick:: Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight! Tommy:: (starts to leave) Dick:: Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.

Sally:

(nods) Yeah, me too.

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Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

Randy:: I think you're Harry.

Harry:

Well, I think you're hairy!

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Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

[Don is telling a story]

Officer Don:

And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.

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Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

Tommy:: I gotta say I feel liberated,not having to sneak around all the time,its just so nice being able to wear my apron out in the open[Audience laugh] Harry:: why breakfast was great I've never had a spinach frittttttaaaaaa. [Harry starts shaking and puts his hands out in front of him in the kitchen in front of tommy and sally who have just came back from grocery shopping after becoming fully aware that tommy can actually cook,and cook well] Harry:: IIIIIIIncoming message from the big giant head!! Sally:: ooooooh my god Dick get in here!! Dick:: [Running through from the living room]:What is it!? [Harry still with his hands stretched out] Harry:: Our records indicate that your status report is 22 days late,please submit your finished report to the big giant head's personal assistant,big giant jenny![audience laughs] Sally:: I hate that bitch![audience laugh again] Harry:: Tramission ending in 3..2..1[Harry sneezes]:oooh whats going on!?

Tommy:

Dick didnt finish the status report!

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Power Mad Dick

[the Solomons have a repairman over] Dick:: Sally, you seein' Don today? Sally:: Seein' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!

Repairman:

You know, I can come back.

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Collect Call for Dick

"The Columbian":: Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.

Dick:

Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

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Collect Call for Dick

Mary:: Hey Dick. What's with all the Rusty burgers? Dick:: Ah, well I'm just uh, preparing box lunches for the homeless. Mary:: Why are you putting all of the food in the trash?

Dick:

It makes them more comfortable. Mary- you can be so insenitive!

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What's Love Got to Do, Got to Do with Dick?

Eric:: I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit. Sally:: Aw, what's the hold up?

Officer Don:

Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.

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Indecent Dick

Dick:: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?

Harry:

Actually it's a little of both.

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Indecent Dick

Pitman:: We all came into this world naked. Dick:: Well, I didn't. Sally:: Hey, the mail's here. Dick:: Ah, the mail. What would a day on Earth be like without the mail? Harry:: Probably a lot like Sunday. Dick:: You know. That's very clever, Harry. Tommy:: Hey, wait. I said that.

Harry:

Oh really? How sad.

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Indecent Dick

Dick:: I have an aunt Florence. Mary:: What? Dick:: Oh, that was aunt Florence in Indiana. Nina:: Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana? Dick:: Since when do you have an aunt Florence in Indiana? Nina:: I don't.

Dick:

So where's the big coincidence? You know, Nina. Sometimes you makes no sense.

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Indecent Dick

Mary:: What did your father tell you about the family?

Dick:

Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.

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Dick and Taxes

Mary:: You wanted to see me, Dick? Dick:: Oh, Mary, thank God! I wanted to show you that if you mix up the letters in your last name, it spells "lab right!" [pause] Mary:: Okay, but wh-what was the emergency that couldn't wait another second that made me... get off the phone with Chancellor?

Dick:

Lab right!

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Dick and Taxes

[filling out tax forms] Dick:: Line 14, "other gains or losses." Tommy:: I gained two pounds.

Sally:

I lost my virginity.

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Dick 'The Mouth' Solomon

Dick:: And so they served us these balls made entirely of meat. Have you seen these? Nina:: Er, yeah. Dick:: They're shaped like say a tennis ball. Have you seen these? Nina:: Of course I have! Dick:: But you don't play with them, you eat them! You've seen these? Nina:: Many times! [Nina storms off]: Dick:: Well it sounds like you haven't! Dick:: [holds up a football] This is a football, [Holds up baseball] This is a baseball, [Holds up a tennis ball] This is a tennis ball, [Holds up what looks to be a meatball] Now, do you know what this is? Nina:: It's a meatball. Dick:: No, Nina you're wrong. It's a ping-pong ball covered in meat. [Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a meatball] This is a meatball. Nina:: You are the meatball. YOU ARE THE MEAT BALL! [Nina storms off]:

Dick:

She doesn't know what a meatball is. Sad.

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Alien Hunter

Dick:: [while gagged, mumbling on the telephone to Judith] Mmmph! Judith:: [sarcastically, alternating between Dick's mumblings] Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'm hot now. Do me. Do me all night. I know it's you, Dick. [hangs up]

Dick

Damn!

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Alien Hunter

Officer Don:: The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow. Dick:: What for? Officer Don:: That's classified. Tommy:: You have no idea, do you? [pause]

Officer Don:

That's also classified.

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Dick vs. Strudwick

Nina:: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you? Dick:: For the thousandth time, YES! Vincent Strudwick:: So... what'd you think of the book?

Dick:

As bathroom fare? A triumph!

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Episode I: the Baby Menace

[the aliens are looking for Vicki's hybrid alien baby in the nursery] Tommy:: Which one is it? Dick:: It must be him - it's hideous. Man:: Hey, that's my daughter!

Dick:

I'm so sorry; she's hideous.

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Dick for Tat

Mary:: I am so hungover!

Dick:

Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.

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The Fifth Solomon

[the Solomons are angry at Dick because he crashed the car] Dick:: Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!

Sally:

Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!

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The Fifth Solomon

Officer Don: You have to have insurance!

Dick:

Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.

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Dick And Tuck

[Looking at himself and a picture of himself and Harrison Ford]

Dick:

Oh my god! I'm hideous!

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Sex and the Sally

Harry:: Sally, I'm starving. What's for dinner?

Sally:

Oh, I made you some hamburgers--they're down at the hamburger place. All you have to do is go there, order them, and pay for them.

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Charitable Dick

Harry:: so what is this thing you're going to again?. Dick:: It's a charity auction. Tommy:: And what's charity again?. Dick:: All I know is they're giving free drinks and paddles with numbers on them. Harry:: Well I guess that's what charity's all about, getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor. Dick:: We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences. Harry:: Can we blow up the Earth? Dick:: You see, that's a global difference.

Harry:

It's so hard to keep track of all this.

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The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary

Dick:: Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special? Nina:: Those are the obituaries. Dick:: Well, I want one about me!

Nina:

Hopefully soon.

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Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary

Larry: I've never noticed it before, but you look capable of violence.

Dick

[picking up a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!

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Rutherford Beauty

[Dick is fantasizing about Nina during his class's exam] Leon: [sees Dick kissing an imaginary person] Dr. Solomon, what are you doing? Dick: ...I said no talking, Leon. You fail! [after Mary receives an exercise video as a present from Dick]

Mary

Here's a little "gift-giving" tip: When you give someone a bouquet of flowers, that tells them "Our love goes on forever.",when you give somebody an exercise video that tells them "Your ass goes on forever!"

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Dick Strikes Out

Dick:: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer. Sally:: That'll look good on the ol' resume! Dick:: Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer. Tommy:: It's about time! [pause] Harry:: What about me? Dick:: Harry, you are now... Harold. Harry:: Champagne for everyone! Mary:: [referring to Dick] I wouldn't be caught dead going out with that scab.

Dick:

Well, couldn't you put a band-aid over it?

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Frankie Goes to Rutherford

[Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt] Dick:: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?

Nina:

Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

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The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 1

Vicki Dubcek:: [about Harry's new girlfriend Janice] You don't like her as much as me, do you? Harry:: Oh, no!... More. Dick: Are you going to kill me?

Big Giant Head

Of course not; you're my designated driver.

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The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 2

Vicki Dubcek:: How dare you use your flesh to trick me! Harry:: Well, that's what it's there for. Dick:: I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I? [after finding out his father was "the Big Head"] Harry:: Well, let me see, your first name is Dick... your new last name is Head... I guess that would make..

Dick:

Oh My God!

3rd Rock from the Sun

Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: My daughter just ran off with your ragamuffin son!

Dick

"Ragamuffin"?! Sally, throw him out; Harry, bring me a dictionary.

3rd Rock from the Sun

Indickscretion

Tommy:: [about a movie Harry has seen] How was it? I heard there was an awesome shower scene.

Harry:

Oh, yeah...but then this naked girl got in and you could barely see the shower.

3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick Digs

Tourist:: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?

Harry:

I believe that all hotels have rooms.

3rd Rock from the Sun

The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part 2

Mary:: [concerned] I think there's something wrong with Dick. [Nina and Judith stare blankly at her]

Harry

Incoming message from The Big Giant Head...

The 4400

Pilot

Dennis Ryland: It's changed course! Diana Skouris: That's impossible! Comets don't just change course. Dennis: Well, this one has.

Diana

Then it's not a comet.